Battletech/Mechwarrior Lore - TEX TALKS BATTLETECH: The Blackjack - GM's OKAYEST PRODUCT

Tex Talks Battletech is a new series where Tex talks Battletech, Battletech lore, history, and mech combat in the glorious 31st Century. Avast Clanners, its Fightin' time. No guts. No Galaxy.
This episode I cover the Blackjack, which is General Motor's Okayest Product. It's quite meh as far as mechs go but hell, it was requested so here we go.
SOUNDTRACK courtesy of EPIDEMIC SOUND
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Editing Guru - THE COURTESY FLUSH
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[@GeorgeLedoux]

Tex has made me love being Duncan Fisher again by making me cast fireballs and pulling Clan Snek Cobra out of thin air. Someday we’re gonna get drunk together.

[@unpotatoedsalmon]

*Exploding horses intensifies

[@blackops555]

And we love you for it. Waiting for the inevitable drunken BTech rants.

[@PenTheMighty]

If there's ever a live-action Battletech show, you HAVE to have a cameo. Otherwise we riot. Hell, we may riot anyway!

[@DuoDoUrden]

Both Tex and yourself should voice characters in battletech mods. Would be a glorious day for big stompy mech battles.

[@matohibiki]

Wait, you're saying you HAVEN'T done that yet? You've just thrown my entire mental image of Tex casting you into doubt. Next you're gonna tell us you two DIDN'T meet in a bar on Solaris.

[@ohnokylewhy]

Ah, I remember when General Motors made self-sustaining fusion reactors happen last year. Good times.

[@morrigancollins2092]

Got outsourced to China in our timeline. Tragically, the technology has languished in neo-Communist pseudo capitalist hell and was badly delayed because some jackass wanted bat soup.

[@Xalerdane]

We’re in the wrong timeline.

[@nineballmk2]

@@Xalerdane not anymore

[@Xalerdane]

@@nineballmk2 We still might not be. It wasn’t GM who made the discovery, and there’s a lot of potential timelines that have fusion power in them. No way of knowing yet.

[@iller3]

@@Xalerdane Proving it can be done (with a gazillion Lasers) ... and proving it can be built for a commercial PROFIT are two completely different things though. Also, they gotta find a better fuel component than Tritium

[@jonskowitz]

RE: BJ-1X This mech was *allegedly* unreliable. Also known as, "Teething Issues", also known as, "Inadequately tested prior to deployment", also known as a, "hippity-hoppity, I'm-not-designed-properly."

[@wrayday7149]

Pssh, says you. You say falls over due to foot issues, I say, rapid transition from vertical to horizontal for evasive maneuvers and rapid pilot departure when there is only one beer left and you want it now.

[@TheReaver1234]

@@wrayday7149 lordy, its too effective.

[@Nowhandles]

🤣🤣🤣

[@TheAnubis21485]

Friend "why are you smiling?" Me *hearing distant bagpipes*

[@theblackpantslegion]

NEVER FORGET

[@connormclernon26]

@@theblackpantslegionStupid Amaris with his stupid bib ruining everything

[@Divenity]

You hear that GM? You got one year left to figure out fusion reactors, hop to guys!

[@DJIFridays]

They'll need another bailout though

[@AsbestosMuffins]

Lockheed allegedly is rolling out a semi truck sized fusion reactor, though doubt it actually works

[@xyxxanx9810]

Well, given that nobody has managed to actually build a fusion reactor that works for more then a few seconds, doesn´t consume more energy than it produces and is smaller then a family house, I would remain skeptical as well.

[@Mavairo]

C9 Corvette? lol

[@juliankirby9880]

PsychoLucario that’s exactly what I tell people! If anyone’s gonna do it, it’s that sinkhole of Black budget money.

[@BigGunsNeverTire.]

26:54 "Davion technicians removed the autocannons..." The greatest betrayal to core values since Amaris.

[@xt6wagon]

removing autocannon 2's is gods work. Its like a machine gun, but way way way heavier.

[@Fragtastik]

@@xt6wagon Say that to my Mauler. I dare you.

[@TheCoyote808]

@@Fragtastik I shall do in his stead. And so here it is. TO FRAGTASTIC'S MAULER,"YOU'RE A PILE OF KURIRA POO! YOUR AC/2 SMELLS LIKE YOU! REMOVING YOU IS THE WORK OF THE GODS!" *expectorates on the floor, throws a gauntlet, then bites thumb*

[@xt6wagon]

@@Fragtastik AC/5 says its 2.5 times the man an AC/2 can ever be.

[@Fragtastik]

@@xt6wagon I'm having trouble hearing you from 24 hexes away.

[@DrWhite]

Yeet seat is now my new favourite term for ejection.

[@STSGingie]

Me too.

[@ajobdunwell2585]

#metoo

[@josharmstrong8813]

Imagine you're driving around the family heirloom on a training mission and you accidentally hit the yeet button and you just get launched out at high speed

[@johndoe5432]

The arrival of a Steiner scout lance always warms my heart.

[@weldonwin]

They're just so happy, even when they are literally stomping on civilians... I mean they are generally Cappellans so its not like anyone really cares that much

[@TymersRealm]

@@weldonwin Don't forget the occasional Jade Turkey or Smoked Jaguar Elemental either...

[@weldonwin]

@@TymersRealm I think its the same one who got stomped on and stopped transmitting and now got punted like a soccer ball... That is one really unlucky Elemental

[@WastelandSeven]

And Clan footballs always tickles my funny bone. LOL

[@RoKKr023i]

MAXIMUM RECONNAISSANCE

[@concordetconstabulary219]

“Mech warriors are largely superstitious...” *Looks down at cooling vest covered in duct tape and old blood and grease stains. “ I’ve been wearing this cooling vest in ever battle since I was 12. Does it fit? No. Does it keep me cool? No. Does it smell? Most definitely. But does it guarantee I’ll survive any engagement? You bet it does”

[@lornbaker1083]

Little Tony? That kid who only ever decided to use a repurposed forestry unit? Is that you? Because if so it's me Rundalph the Berserker, the one who always did those weird multiple flanking attempts. If you're not little Tony your words remind me so much of him. He was my bestest best buddy back in the days of tabletop BattleTech when I played it.

[@Si_Sireeni]

It's enough to bring a tear to a grown clanners eye...... and that's ok.

[@lornbaker1083]

@@Si_Sireeni you always miss your best buddies who had your back on the battlefield even if they're not with you you always know that they're watching over you. There is not a single day when I've ever played BattleTech and I don't think for just a split second about little Tony him in his love of repurposed construction units. He was the smallest of us and not just size but age but he was the badass of the most of us the rest of us we came with our armies he just rolls up with just a pile of industrial yellow and always stomped us. I'll never forget that crazy little guy he was one of my best friends. I hope he's doing well today. I would not have been known as the Berserker in our local table top group if it wasn't for the fact that every single time I fought little Tony I would always get so frustrated I would just start berserk flanking him with Death from Above and his construction units for some reason we're just able to dance around me

[@lyndonnobles]

Someone is a Jeff Daniels fan. Deer hunters are a superstitious lot. ;)

[@evananderson1455]

​@@lornbaker1083I can't tell if you're serious or making it up or I'm just not in on some battletech joke, but your love for your friend (real or fake) is beautiful

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

"Because you can't resist your lawful rulers if you're on fire." That may be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Everybody gangsta until a drugged up hippy pushes the allegedly defective Blackjack over. While on fire. Except the hippy, he's gangsta af for those next few seconds.

[@TheAbyssoftheMind]

The blackjack sounds like the kind of thing you'd be assigned as a starter mech in a video game: Cheap, keeps you from having to worry about ammo/heat issues, scales toward the endgame startlingly well.

[@NRSGuardian]

Funny enough the Blackjack is the starting mech for the player character in the Battletech(2018) video game.

[@barrybend7189]

Meanwhile Mechassault lets give people the Cougar.

[@jimnpen8451]

Like the Fred in Hawken until Hawken became a shit game..

[@OverwatchSniper]

@@barrybend7189 Mechwarrior 4 Black Knight did that too.

[@icycoatl3185]

Personally don’t like it. Not terrible as a starting mech, I just don’t think it customizes well. Now, the original faster version with a couple flamethrowers… that I could see. It could just be incompatible with my personal taste in battle tactics though.

[@travishabursky4362]

The Blackjack: the Chevy Lumina of the future. It was a cheap mech meant to be disposable, but just refused to die despite four blown transmissions.

[@viktordickinson7844]

Great car, great mech.

[@Tula-cs1ef]

You must have gotten a good one

[@machinist7230]

@@viktordickinson7844 Honestly, it's my favorite medium mech, specifically the BJ-2 version, which is basically a baby Warhammer.

[@krullachief669]

@@machinist7230 That's the BJ-3, aka Two PPCs and four medium laserse with ten freezers at 45 tons. The BJ-2 is two ER larges and an absolutely silly number of Streak 2s. The 2 is good, but calling it a baby Warhammer is misleading.

[@thesandman8885]

You watch rcr?

[@MrTwistedLizard]

That moment you realize that Elemental was punted so hard he managed to catch up to the BLP class room and become an auditor

[@TJRex01]

“Learn to defend House Davion with one weird trick” (Kuritas hate him!)

[@acehigh79]

As a Federated Sun (when forced to play IS) our orders are simple. Shoot invaders until they stop invading! If you are hurt, hurt them back. If you get killed walk it off! We only need two mechs. The urbie and the black jack!

[@ChocorocK]

@@acehigh79 Mechs? All we need are AC's on wheels and we are good to go.

[@dubuyajay9964]

@@acehigh79 That tonnage isn't very Steiner of you.

[@acehigh79]

@@dubuyajay9964 lol I'm a Davion.....we say "eww I stepped on some steiner"

[@dubuyajay9964]

@@acehigh79 I think you mean some Steiner stepped on you.

[@malusignatius]

There's one thing you can say about the Blackjack... At least it isn't a Cicada.

[@zsewqthewolf1194]

malusignatius this remind me on how the AR rifle took off really start off bad but later on it become something of a legend

[@Demolitiondude]

At least it exists. Not like the fireant.

[@egmccann]

At first I read that as "At least it isn't Canada." Which is also true.

[@zsewqthewolf1194]

@@egmccann if cananda make a mech it be something that fire medical kits for the down mech plot as he yells out "sorry eh!"

[@Winterydee]

@@zsewqthewolf1194 Most, if not all, of the problems with the M-16/AR-15 were due to US Army pencil pushing brass... like the switching the ammunition type used on a Direct Impingement System, removing the Chrome Lining of the receiver and not issuing Cleaning Kits. All of these things really pissed off the designers Eugene Stoner and L. James Sullivan when they heard about them and said that those changes would have a direct impact on the functionality of the weapons. Also the forward assist, IMO was a useless addition which would have never been needed if they had not altered their design.

[@barkerov]

6:44 This exact picture was given to us in our high school history exam by mistake (the topic was the Russian Revolution). It wasn't just a school wide exam either, it was the state wide exam that made the error. They were forced to not penalise anyone who referenced the Marauder either. Best exam ever.

[@Edmar_Fecler]

Thats fuckin hilarious

[@bthsr7113]

Wow. Bra-friggin'-vo. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume somebody got fired.

[@barkerov]

@@bthsr7113 Nah, hardly anyone ever gets outright fired for incompetence in our government system. They probably got retraining and shuffled off to some other department.

[@bthsr7113]

@@barkerov I wish I could say I was surprised, but even without knowing which government, I'm not.

[@3xfaster]

Holly heck, if the internet worked that way, I would shake your hand. So, didja giggle about it? Site the Marauder or even invoke Macross?

[@moreautocannons5412]

Hi Tex, I work for GM Corporate in Detroit. I need to send you a coffee mug! I was disappointed on the failed products until I saw that yellow Aztek! No promises on litigation though...

[@theblackpantslegion]

I'll take a mug gladly. Fire me an email to [e-mail]

[@dubuyajay9964]

Where's the reactor?

[@barrybend7189]

Corvair wasn't a failure.

[@ethanbarnhart7714]

​that feel when you have to worry about being sued for libel by a major corporation over something they wont manufacture for another 550 years. rofl Tex

[@Edmar_Fecler]

That or he was saying that in-character, fearing the GM from that time. Funny either way though

[@HarrySBallz]

Once GM makes the marauder they will get sued by Harmony Gold :)

[@jimnpen8451]

They resurrect his corpse only to condemn him die.

[@jimnpen8451]

@Maintenance Renegade imagine that buick smell while stomping civvies..

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Just do it. God knows GM will be the ones to invent the time machine, and go back in time to sue people for historical libel. Hang on, I think I hear the sound of thunder...

[@zeonace101]

GM's official slogan: "The blackjack, at least it's not a Vulcan"

[@seand.g423]

It doesn't even have a battlefist, the fuck is it gonna pinch?

[@weldonwin]

@@seand.g423 According to HBS's Battletech, it Head-butts enemies

[@seand.g423]

@@weldonwin got it, I just couldn't resist scrounging for a Trek joke... Even one that would barely warrant a pity laugh in the Magistracy...

[@weldonwin]

@@seand.g423 For my part, I thought "Pinch" was a typo and was supposed to say "Punch". I was kinda sleep deprived at the time of writing and didn't make the Trek connection

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

The Vulcan's Slogan: Will punch Blackjacks 4 C-Bills

[@elcamnino7]

Look. The Blackjack falling over on it's own is just a feature that GM didn't advertise. "Surprise your enemies by falling to prone randomly! They will never guess your tactics because you can't either!" - said in 1950's generic radio voice.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

It's not a defect, it's a surprise mechanic!

[@evananderson1455]

Never let them know your next move.

[@airplanemaster1]

23:43 "They formed a firing line and went full-auto. They stood their ground and went dakka." Favorite line in all the lectures produced thus far!

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

It's astounding how many mediocre Mechs work well with the basic strategy of "round up a few dozen, put them in one place, have them all face the same general direction, and shoot anything that moves. Optionally, walk that way as well." I think the Xanthos was specifically designed with that in mind, by a guy with the mindset of "It doesn't matter if quad Mechs struggle to engage an enemy from the side, because there's another Xanthos there."

[@DLPChris]

"ComStar fuckery" Yeah, that's a ComStar alright.

[@WastelandSeven]

All the damned time. LOL

[@johndoe5432]

@@WastelandSeven Your favorite and ONLY service provider.

[@Muck006]

That is the reason why people let them get away with all the stuff ... because people LIKE to be "effed".

[@grayeaglej]

ComStar, ComCast, same difference. O.o

[@EverythingsAhammer]

Hell of a lesson. I had no idea that this preteen rifleman had such a rich history. It's like a Cinderella story with dakka.

[@macrux152__8]

Oi, take that back, the Rifleman's older brother the Jaegermech is gonna sink yer teeth in for that comment.

[@boobah5643]

A 'rich' history of doing almost nothing until three years before the vanilla setting? OK...

[@geoffdewitt6845]

"Cinderella story with dakka" is a fantastic sentence.

[@evanulven8249]

The Blackjack. A simple, robust, easy to maintain and manufacture general-purpose line mech. You can send it to do anything, and while there are many mech that will do any one job better, there are more that can do every job worse. It is the line infantryman of battle mechs. Gather enough of them together and there isn't a target that will remain standing.

[@KenshiImmortalWolf]

Better to be jack of all trades master of none, then master of one.

[@brayachdragonbane7529]

a wonderful mech in groups with cover... as a suppression force or fire support line few things will be better than a 'gunmech' (the BJ, Rifleman, and jaegerbomb) they have weak armor for their weight class... but used properly they are some of the best mechs for what they do

[@TheDownrankTrain]

Some medium mechs can do more. None can do as much as a Blackjack for as little expenditure of C-bills or brain power.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

@@TheDownrankTrain I think the C Bill point is very valid and important. It's easy to lose track of C bills, and pay huge sums of money for a huge pile of crap, just good enough at the one thing it isn't defective at to bring a low, strategic BV to the table. The Blackjack, for what it is, is dirt cheap, and isn't half bad for whatever you need it to do. Iirc, only some models of Sentinel offer a comparable role for a lower price tag. And I don't hear anyone say anything nice about the Sentinel.

[@krullachief669]

Plus it's the Rifleman at home. I'm not joking by the way, it can work really, really well if you have not a lot of c-bills and need something to work as a rudimentary skybroom.

[@mr6johnclark]

I see Tex's talks Battletech I click simple as that.

[@BrotherVarz]

TRULY THIS IS TRUE

[@Septagonbullet]

Like then watch

[@DLPChris]

@@BrotherVarz IT IS NOTED!

[@warcrimescostextra3992]

Hard same.

[@morrigancollins2092]

Same here. Fantastic combination of information and entertainment. Plus, his voice reminds me of rum and that rumbly quality a guy's voice gets first thing in the morning. Marvelous.

[@pirateswiggity5278]

If Battletech lore actually stipulates that we perfected fusion technology by 2020 they’d almost be somewhat on-base. Here in the year of 2022 we first got more output than input for a fusion reactors. Combine with synthetic muscle technology that I’ve seen, we could at least theoretically see the technological basis for mech suits, battle armor, and walking vehicles and weapons platforms within the century.

[@jameslewis2635]

That Comstar screen just hit the spot for me. In terms of style and quality it was spot on in terms of what I saw on VHS tapes in the 80's and 90's.

[@Southerly93]

The most unrealistic part of Battletech is the fact that GM somehow lasted beyond the 21st century

[@NRSGuardian]

That and GM inventing a usable fusion reactor, though GM inventing working fusion reactors is probably the only plausible explanation for them surviving beyond the 21st century

[@GhostBear3067]

@@NRSGuardian someone needs to contact GM and let them know they are behind schedule on that fusion reactor they owe us. 😜😅🤣lol (In case it ever becomes unclear this comment was posted in 2020)

[@willlasdf123]

Also Boeing must have solved that "hey man, planes crash, yolo" culture they got from McDonald Douglas somehow cus they lasted mighty long

[@achtsekundenfurz7876]

GhostBear3k writes: (In case it ever becomes unclear this comment was posted in 2020) my tired mind reads: (In case it ever becomes nuclear this comment was posted in 2020) _Heh, why the #$%& not_

[@80krauser]

It’s currently early August 2021. WHERE’S MY FUSION POWERED ROBOT GM?!?!

[@MortarGuyX]

*XM1 GM prototype appears on screen* WT Players: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[@shaider1982]

Hope GM is still on track with that fusion reactor.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Me too, we could use some good news

[@captainmidnight4262]

Holy Shit! GM is going to invent the Fusion Power Supply next year! This got me so exited i couldnt tupe proper;ly!

[@Doomwolf82002]

If not than they're going to have to update the lore.

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

@@Doomwolf82002 They already have. The Battletech universe has already diverged from real life given that there was no Russian Civil War in the early 2000s that resulted in intervention and occupation by international armed forces. There's also no Mars base in real life either. The BT universe is officially an alternate universe from real life.

[@mjbull5156]

@@noppornwongrassamee8941 So is this the good timeline or or the bad one?

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

@@mjbull5156 Waiting to see. Ask me again in a thousand years when we'll be able to compare the results with the BT universe.

[@motownboony6952]

"From the people who brought you the Cobalt, the Corvair, and the critically acclaimed "Profitable Corporate Boondoggle 2: Financial Boogaloo", it's a device that fuses things and makes energy which no one understands and is definitely, 100%, probably safe to use! The GM Fusion Powerplant. My mother had a fridge in her house that was so old, the badge on it said "General Electric by General Motors" or something like that.

[@BulkZerker]

3:19 Clan Snek Cobra is cannon!

[@sandordugalin8951]

19:41 Comstar raves look pretty hype.

[@adamredmayne1326]

You know it's really interesting, just looking at the BJ's stats and playing it in game you'd usually pass it up pretty quickly for something better, Tex really puts into perspective why it was so good as what is basically a tactical law enforcement and rapid response mech, throw in some specialised ammo for those AC/2's and it suddenly gets a lot deadlier too.

[@jhousdan]

Against anything smaller than a BJ, it's hell on wheels, especially since its gonna start sanding off armor before smaller mechs can get into range. I wouldn't go even-up with a Phoenix Hawk or Wolverine though. Especially if they were the upgunned 3050 variants

[@DonaldWWitt]

@@jhousdan Which is why you legged them at range first, then kite them while continuing to plink!

[@valsioncustom]

If you were willing to shill out some money and had access to it, Ferro-Fibrous and larger guns would be damn dangerous. Hell, keep the normal armor. Replace the AC/2s with an AC/5, and replace the 4 Mediums with two Large Lasers.

[@ogrehaslayers605]

I swear the BJ is better with intro-tech than the upgrades. I hated them until I used them and found out how solid they were

[@Anon26535]

Since it was originally designed to put down rebellious populations, LBX Autocannons for blowing away crowds of rioters seems appropriate.

[@MortarGuyX]

*talks about teething issues and their effects* | *shows close up of the Panther's front drivetrain* hahahahahahaha

[@xt6wagon]

Sadly, its hard to show a panther setting itself on fire driving down a road... which the early ones loved to do. Loved to fill the lower hull with gasoline which eventually found something so set it off.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Yep.

[@barrybend7189]

@@xt6wagon girls und panzer Ferdinand breakdown clips would be a better use as that one is funnier.

[@RSColddawg]

Le gasp. Fancy seeing you here.

[@overkill1340]

@@barrybend7189 The mechanic hopping out to fix the engine fire, while the tank is driving, is fucking priceless.

[@TK-rs9lq]

D&D bit with horse explosion spell musings = my dreams come true after a great take on the Blackjack.

[@longshottie]

Mini Rifleman ❤️

[@TheAzial]

I am so damn proud of you Tex, this is amazing crap. Well done, take a break

[@theblackpantslegion]

No breaks. Only content

[@SonsOfLorgar]

@@theblackpantslegion in the grim darkness of the 3rd millenium, there is only: *Get back to work and start paying your grandchildrens HPG bills in advance, fucko!*

[@dubuyajay9964]

@@SonsOfLorgar 3rd Milennum now.

[@achtsekundenfurz7876]

Someone give that man a BJ _ewww, phrasing_

[@SteelRaven11]

Thank you Tex for being a gift to the Battletech fandom and thank you for getting Duncan Fisher to murder some hobos for our entertainment.

[@Plastikdoom]

And knights…horses too. Lol.

[@macfryling8421]

*considers going to bed to prep for finals week in class* *Sees Tex talks Battletech pop up* Guess I can go to sleep later

[@TobeWilsonNetwork]

I’ll send those pleading emails to my professors tomorrow morning, gotta focus on what matters tonight.

[@KillerOrca]

"We need a distraction" "CALL IN THE GERMANS!"

[@swirlyofficechair]

Where do I order a "No Curb the Urbie" flag I need this in my life

[@Fulkerguy]

Same

[@ianshaliczer]

I want a flag.

[@arnoldgraves1791]

It should have said "Don't curbie the Urbie.""

[@ianshaliczer]

Arnold Graves or “Don’t Curb Da Urb”

[@AsbestosMuffins]

could also use a "Don't Tread On Me" Urbie

[@Hybris51129]

Just the fact that you have Duncan Fisher regularly on your shows is just both amazing and mind boggling.

[@theblackpantslegion]

George is a damn good man

[@GeorgeLedoux]

@@theblackpantslegion Damn right, I am. :P

[@SPAMRAAM_GOAT]

Your videos always help me cope with 12 hour night shifts man. Thanks for keeping me sane.

[@theblackpantslegion]

been there, brother. Stay on the high road and find a way out.

[@mq5731]

I smell AC 2s and Medium Lasers!

[@matohibiki]

Funny, so did House Kurita.

[@DonaldWWitt]

Smells like victory!

[@mq5731]

@@DonaldWWitt Which smells just like warcrimes~! All Hail Fireteam Whiskey!

[@DonaldWWitt]

@@mq5731 How is using long range Auto Cannons on hordes of Lights a Warcrime? At worse I'll use the Medium Lasers to take out their last leg...

[@mq5731]

@@DonaldWWitt It's the lyrics to the Fireteam Whiskey intro. I seriously doubt there is such a thing as war crimes in the inner sphere, Amaris kinda made that a running thing.

[@Beargeek616]

"Uncle Tex, tell me a story!" ::empty whisky bottles gets thrown at me::

[@Ashersrequiem]

I could listen to Tex talk battletech for hours, I wish we could get him to narrate some of the novels. This is awesome guys, thanyou for making this series!

[@Kasigil0]

the budding bromance between Tex and George Ledoux warms the heart of my cockles

[@ToozdaysChild]

Battle Tech: GM will develop a functioning fusion reactor in 2020! Me: *stares in December 31st, 2019*

[@CharlesUrban]

I'll give GM a pass because 2020 was a total mess in terms of business.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

I'm from the future of the past. GM made the fusion reactor, but it caused widespread radiation sickness to everyone near one. GM saved themselves, and set the trend of the universe by blaming the embryonic Capellans.

[@ghoulbuster1]

it only took about 2 years more

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

2023 still not done it

[@SwordlordRoy]

A sequel to "Night of the Urbanmech"?!?! Clearly it must be an Instant Classic and certainly not a blatant C-Bill grab with a HPG'd-in plot and a budget that makes B-Movies look amazing...Right?

[@Maximum_Bacon]

This was amazing fun. Sincerely, thank you Tex, BPL editing & Art contributors, George Ledoux and of course GOAT.

[@DLPChris]

I don't know why, but "5. Beer?" makes me laugh every time.

[@Un-ht5bc]

I'm so glad I've fallen back into this Battletech rabbithole. That Steiner skit was all I needed to get this sub train going. Edit: Find you someone who'll have your back like Discount Dan.

[@Ranalcus]

>says about Marauder Yep, I too love those Japanese mecha designs from anime

[@barrybend7189]

Laughs in Zentradi.

[@bthsr7113]

A good design is a good design.

[@Dalton791000]

Thanks for the video, Tex. It really made the early missions of Battletech (2018) more fun by knowing the history of the starting mech.

[@agarestretiak8925]

Magic, pure magic. By that I mean, of course, George Ledoux as a sorcerer. Also, the video was fun and my friends will receive many nudges to watch it and exhaustive treatises about why this is the best thing ever.

[@samhutch7679]

Ok so I've recently found out about your videos and have been watching them here and there - I'm also playing through MW5 (mixed bag of a game, don't need to talk about that here). Anyway, I was really struggling in one particular mission, to the point where I had to put the game down for a little while. Just couldn't handle the amount of engagements. Watched this video & got inspired by the Davion Militia's Defense in 3022. I set up my lance to be two BJ-1's and two JM6-S's, and systematically moved forward in a firing line and began each engagement at range. Worked flawlessly, completed the mission with little more than scratches on any of my 'mechs. And I just think that's real neat.

[@theblackpantslegion]

That is real neat

[@arrgylerawrgyle3784]

Something I never thought to hear, or even fathom laughing at, " murder hobo Duncan Fisher"... I will have waking nightmares about this that I will only be able to laugh at .. Explaining it to a therapist, as normies think I'm insane, will get me the good drugs

[@theblackpantslegion]

It's his title.

[@DocDelray]

As always Tex, it's a pleasure to see one of your Battletech videos. While I'm not the biggest fan of the Blackjack, I do love hearing about Kurita getting it's shit pushed in. Also that segment on the Marauder was nice as well. That doesn't count as covering that one does it?

[@frankg2790]

Back when MechWarrior 4 was the latest MechWarrior game, I entered multiplayer and I was in a Blackjack. After a while of wandering, I saw a Marauder and we traded blows before he ran behind a hill out of range. Naturally, I begin searching for him and decide to jump jet into the water below because I thought I could flank him, only to find myself miles from shore.

[@DocDelray]

@@frankg2790 My favorite tactic in MW4 was to take a Raven and trick it out as a sniper mech. Then run around the online matches legging everyone. Nothing quite as funny as a one legged Atlas trying to chase you down.

[@achtsekundenfurz7876]

That's _cawful_

[@seand.g423]

Correction: "getting its shit punched up and out its ears".

[@Warspud723]

The Blackjack will always have a special place in my heart as it was the starter Mech in Battletech and it was that game that got me into the MechWarrior universe

[@coyotejohn3101]

That one downvote is still sore over Tukayyid...

[@theblackpantslegion]

NEVER FORGET

[@spectre111]

No, it's Kurita over what happened on Xhosa.

[@greedkingcobalt200]

Love for the classic headchopper itself, the Hunchback, next?

[@JulianVR4]

7:10 NOT A CLAN ERPPC

[@Fragtastik]

When you're too poor or too intelligent to buy a Rifleman, grab a Blackjack!

[@Fragtastik]

@@nilsingvar7319 Starleague era design that requires post-clan tech to be viable. God help me I love it anyway.

[@Deridus]

Yeah, I have a special love/hate relationship with the Rifleman. It was one of the first mechs I played on tabletop and as such I was stuck with it for a long time until I decided to create dedicated related class lances. A rifleman, a Hatchetman, a Vulcher, and a Blackjack is actually not a bad combo... Mostly.

[@antimuppet]

@@nilsingvar7319 I would love to have the original Battletech engineers around to ask questions. Like dafuq is with the Charger?

[@Athrun82]

@@antimuppet Well Clan Diamanond Shark even one upped this when they released the Dasher 2. A Mech with 6 Micro Pulse lasers.... Yes the weapons usually found in Protomechs.

[@Johnpinckney98]

@@Fragtastik and even then, we have the IIC which is better in every way.

[@Cyrus21100]

Ah, in in the far future...General Motors keeps trucking on.

[@ben_bennie_nie]

Thx for doing these videos. It gives me a nice look on the battletech lore without opening tons of books. I'm not a big reader myself, so this is great.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Welcome

[@ogrehaslayers605]

Love that you added “taco trucks” to the list of potential targets

[@XanderDraft]

Already subbed the hilarity of a Revan joke followed by a Matt Mercer right after would have gotten me again. I really like the Blackjack as a medium mech much like I like the catapult as a heavy it is a no frills mech that does its job well.

[@larryy5166]

Stretching my eyes and ears. Gotta get em limber. Also... my first first. It was more gentle than I'd been led to believe.

[@KenS1267]

1000 years and 828 editions later and murder hobos still ruining the lives of DM's. Sort of reassuring, in I hate everyone kind of way.

[@lacarthcinclair5401]

16:10 I think my favorite part about this is that it implies that Waffle House has not only stayed in business for multiple centuries, but that it has also somehow expanded to be extremely common throughout the inner sphere while ALSO never improving its public image. God bless the Waffle House, where no one will judge you.

[@Nostroman_Praetor]

Even during a planetary invasion, and the Amaris Cuo, Waffle House remains open.

[@Ironhold_Watch]

There is not enough of them in steiner space

[@davidmeigs2152]

Had to duck out, came back for horse explosion... So, I mean... monies worth. Satisfied watcher, lol... Horse explosion.

[@PenTheMighty]

**Sees Amaris Civil War Boxed Set** Me: I want to believe.

[@elete0447]

After watching that D&D skit with Duncan Fisher I've got to wondering... how Bad's the murderhoboing in the battletech RPG? Never played it or seen it played but I keep laughing in my head over someone shouting "BORING!!! I cast PPC!"

[@bthsr7113]

Better than squishy war crimes.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

I imagine the spectrum of murderhobo directly correlates to the ratio of energy to ammunition based weapons the player carries. The player with the Archer thinks they should negotiate through this situation carefully, the player with the Awesome has already opened fire.

[@baker90338]

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 that’s the 8k flashman is probably you’re probably thinking of, considering it can go 86 kph, is a heavy, has 3 large las, 5 medium las, a flamer, ams, and is able to 86 KPH.

[@Maladjester]

Gonna depend on the game and the group. Destiny offers the nuclear-missile I've-got-a-golden-ticket win button that is Plot Points, making pilots very nearly immortal. Classic RPG is much more gritty and less forgiving. Then there's the question of how many trigger-happy idiots and/or bigmouths who insist on always talking despite having -3 to Negotiation does the group have.

[@yourearidiculouslunatic8435]

Best damned Battletech content on the interwebs.

[@bisonhawk1]

Just shared this with one of my college professors!! Battletech is a supply chain topic! Go Coogs!!!

[@theblackpantslegion]

Neat!

[@jarrodsanborn4486]

dealing with the holiday crap is the perfect price of admission for a tex talks

[@todo9633]

Of course the Not!Germans are scoring goals. Also it's not surprising that everyone believed that GM's product was shitty, they don't exactly have the best track record with quality control, or professional ethics.

[@flyinggoomba5127]

The little compilations of shorts at the end of these really do add a lot of fun.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Thanks, I think so!

[@lexington476]

Loved the VHS tape opening.

[@gallendugall8913]

I wouldn't call House Davion "noble to a fault" These are people who slaughtered textile workers striking for safer working conditions and then complained to the First Prince when winter fashions came to the capital two months late.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

It depends on WHO's definition of "noble" you are using ;)

[@robertivey7644]

When you compare them to Kurita and Liao they look like shining knights of virtue in comparison.

[@concordetconstabulary219]

Hence why these tea drinking cunts need to be destroyed. Long live the Concordet

[@bombomos]

My morning drive 5 hours from now will be perfect for this video. Thank you Tex for giving us lore and whiskey and badassery all rolled into one!

[@brett76544]

for those of you that go through OSHA or EPA training classes for mold, lead, safety and asbestos, that music in the beginning, was perfect. Chillingly perfect, along with the comment of the dounuts in the back. (there is a reason why after a day there are still a box of dounuts in the back)

[@darkzeke200x]

Another great video. As someone who knows fuck all about BattleTech, this series is as informative as it is entertaining. Keep up the awesome work.

[@thescottsman1996]

After playing the hairbrained schemes battletech. The title just made me laugh hard, because it's so true

[@joesmith5587]

Comstar Homevideo, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!

[@lazzlepops]

The level of production you guys put into the video is stellar as always. I think I'm ready for the Periphery Spooks

[@theblackpantslegion]

Thanks.

[@Ashasverus]

Your Amaris Coup videos got me into Battletech for the first time since a very confusing experience with a MechWarrior game back in the 90's (one with the clans, I think?) Now, 20 years later, I'm playing Battletech on PC, looking up weapons and mechs on Sarna, and of course watching your whiskey soaked weirdness, all thanks to those 2 videos making the setting more accessible.

[@Fragtastik]

Sounds like MechWarrior 2. That one focused on the Clans.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

@@Fragtastik MechWarrior3 did too... in a way XD

[@Fragtastik]

@@SonsOfLorgar Poor Clan Hemp Tiger.

[@randomnetsurfer]

OMG This is my first video experience of this channel... I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. So very well done, BPL!!

[@theblackpantslegion]

Thank you kind sir

[@DinsRune]

"Bit of a fumble at first, but it's neither as bad nor as good as people seems to think it is." So basically the Blackjack is an AR-15, got it.

[@QwertyCaesar]

So much great stuff but I'm losing my mind over "yeet seat"

[@theblackpantslegion]

The lord yoinketh and the lord yeeteth away

[@THEGRUMPTRUCK]

After the video finished all I could say was "I witnessed this. It pleases me."

[@Tigerheart01]

Reminds me of the M-16 stigma. Had severe teething issues early on, mostly due to politicians interfering with production (the gun manufacturer knew better but were overridden). However it has now become one of the best military assault rifles in the world, even spawning the well loved M4 carbine version. Yet, civilians who don't know better still think it's a constantly jamming piece of crap and state they'd rather have an AK, all because of it's EARLY Vietnam experience.

[@absalomdraconis]

In the defense of the civies, many of them _are_ better suited to a gun that can be cleaned with a water hose & vague concept that the gun can be cleaned _at all,_ than they are suited to... well, anything else.

[@ChristopherSloane]

Ya the A1 was a POS

[@SonsOfLorgar]

I'd rather have an FN FNC or a G3A3 than either the M4/16 or any AK as those are the select fire rifles I'm trained on and used to handling. (Aside from the 6.5mm swe mauser from 1896, but I wouldn't rely on any bolt action outside game hunting, and I'm not a hunter)

[@weldonwin]

23:40 Davion Militia: Men of Harlech, Stop Your Dreaming, Can't You See Their Spearpoints Gleaming, And Their Warrior Pennants Streaming, To This Battlefield...

[@sproge2142]

Man, now I really want a Tex Talks Marauders episode!

[@barrybend7189]

Laughs in Kamjin.

[@goatburger7992]

soundcloud.com/user-168042611-872573264/periphery-dixie Periphery Dixie Link.

[@Henry-Filler]

You should make a theme song for the Urbie K-9 like Hawaii 5-0 or Magnum P.I., the one with Tom Selleck

[@tranz2deep]

Recommended by Rooster.

[@famousdave7219]

This is brilliant

[@dkramerstein]

Do I know the spell “Horse Explosion”!?

[@andrewstewart1464]

Yeah it's called Fireball.

[@richmcgee434]

There are spells that AREN'T named Fireball?

[@CharlesUrban]

No, that's a third-level spell and you don't have access to those yet. You'll have to use "Goat Explosion" until then.

[@erikbedard5840]

Keep.up the great work bud, listening to and learning the lore of one of my favorite game series during the slower days of work helps it go by much faster.

[@theblackpantslegion]

You are most welcome good sir

[@Wraithcannon]

I slapped 2 RAC 5's, 6 tons of ammo, and an ERSL on a Blackjack Omni. Love it.

[@Sluppie]

30 C-bills for a DVD? On clearance?!?!?! Screw that! I'll spend my $90 elsewhere, thanks.

[@weldonwin]

Com-Star will be disappointed to hear that... you know what happens when Com-Star is disappointed...

[@robertivey7644]

They send dudes in white robes and hoods to burn your house down?

[@weldonwin]

@@robertivey7644 "Pay your HPG bills Fucko!"

[@tranz2deep]

No, no, no, it's 30 C-Bills to transmit a DVD's content (45 including data security).

[@CharlesUrban]

@@weldonwin They cut off your phone service. And your legs.