Being Gay in your 30s

[@AlexJones-qf7rw]

I'm 31 myself. I also don't have any friends and I feel very lonely. I have had very little contact with the gay community aswell... being from a small town. I can't say that have felt happy in years. I haven't struggled as much with being gay. But I'd feel that point about the beauty standards. It's really weighting on me too. I don't consider myself good looking nor do i feel inspired to work out. It's a bad circle. I have never had a boyfriend... never even been with someone. At this point I feel like giving up. Nobody will date me when I'm in my 30's anyway... I can only see a future where I'm forever alone and that terrifies me... I'm so worried about my future and some days I don't feel like it's worth living anymore even. Things has never really gotten better for me.

[@FlipflopMount222]

Who made it a rule that we need anyone? I mean being in a relationship doesn't define you. Either it happens or it doesn't. Don't stress over it as much and things have a way of working themselves out.

[@kenjoneslee]

I'm 62....I remember trying suicide in my 20s, early 30s. Mostly over romance with married men. Looking back, it was such a waste of my life to ever have wasted one minute being depressed over not being with someone because they were married and weren't available. Long story short.....31 is still YOUNG....DO NOT WASTE one more minute being bummed out. This is still the best time to take full advantage of what youth can bring....open doors, predictable health, opportunity that I, at age 62, CAN never have again. You may have a mental disorder and that needs addressed. I fortunately am very rational and realize all my mistakes without anyone telling me them.

[@MattMoore83]

I really suggest working out -- and not to have the "perfect" body but the positive impact it does for us mentally. As far as growing up in a small community -- this is a hurdle that got myself behind socially. I think it made me more suppressed.

[@marquanreese7895]

Tbh most people that are in there 30s that are dating and serious about it will only date men around that age so it's not that bad and plus if u take care of yourself you'd be surprised at what that can do to your appearance

[@jasonchou7289]

@@kenjoneslee I totally agree with you!!!Love yourself first,then love ppl!!! It's sad to know so many gays suicide....

[@kenjoneslee]

I'm 62, 5 ft 8 and 140. I never partied(drugs/alcohol) and never quite fit with the typical gay scene...drag shows, camp, adult bookstores, clubs and baths. I've always been fit/athletic and look far younger than my age....partly due to lifestyle, genetics and because I've always liked to move - gymnastics, all kinds of dance training and then the gym. People called me handsome and looking at pics of myself when I was younger, even 44-50, I thought I was really cute/handsome and bemoan how my facial aging is far ahead of my body's aging at age 62. BUT looking back, young people are really overly concerned about their looks...it's only natural with all those raging hormones pushing them into new sexual/romantic experiences where looks are highly valued. BUT, young people don't realize they are ALL pretty much good looking simply because they have nice young skin, something that old people no longer have. So all the looks insecurity revolves around obsessively comparing oneself to one's peers. This gets much better with age, when looks, sex and romance become of much less importance. Gay dating....yeah...if you are unique and living in a small city, it's going to be rough. The numbers don't look good. And in a big city, there's so much more opportunity, that a lot of gay guys just want to keep having fun...cheap thrills....one after the next without realizing that actual relationships are far more important than flings, when all is said and done. So they choose to invest in thrills.

[@MattMoore83]

With age, we get more beautiful internally through our life's experiences. :)

[@nathanielleeson7263]

Thanks for this. I'm 32 and been struggling a bit, especially with loneliness.

[@natelsy3277]

Same here. 32 yo and struggling with dating

[@whatthewindblewin]

I feel really blessed to have come across your channel, Matt, since I am 30 now and feel like you were reading my biography

[@zavellart]

I'm 34 and feel like I'm in my prime now and I also greatly prefer to find other guys in their 30s because I feel like they have the life more together and to me they usually are more attractive.

[@videovoodoo]

Hey Matt, it seems that you and I were cut from the same cloth. I have always felt like the odd man out in both the straight and gay communities. I am fast approaching 65, and BTW, I do not feel anything like I expected to at this age. In my 20's, I was feeling like you did, everyone else was better looking than me, I was six ft 3, and weighed in at a whopping 135 lbs. and I was desperate to find a boyfriend/life partner, but sadly in my generation that was not what others guys were looking for. Actually, I think it's still the about the same nowadays, as sex seems to be the driving factor for most 20 year olds. When I was in my thirties, not a whole lot changed except the search was getting more tedious and I had to really force myself to get out there. Yes, social anxiety is my devil too. Then, when I got into my 40's, I became a lot more comfortable with myself. Physically, my high metabolism slowed down and I went from 140 to 185 of mostly muscle, and that was a huge boost to my self esteem. Of course by then, I could see my gay invisibility cloak was firmly taking root. With my confidence boosted, I found it easier to meet other guys and in fact, I was more sexually active than I ever was in my 20's or 30's. Then, when I hit my 50's, the gay invisibility cloak was really powering up and I pretty much stopped socializing. Now in my 60's I've just accepted the fact that I will most likely be alone for my remaining years. Although I am in far better physical condition than the majority of my peers (I'm now grateful for that high metabolism I cursed in my youth) the invisibility cloak is running at full power, so much so that I am confident that I could walk into any gay environment and rob everyone blind and nobody would have a clue what happened. But guess what! I am just fine with that. Loneliness sucks, but I've realized that I have such a low tolerance for peoples bullshit, that it is really no surprise that I have been alone most of my life. I love the fact that I have never had to answer to, or compromise anything for someone else's sake. I have always been a very independent type person that desired companionship rather than desperately needing it. Our personalities are very much alike, where we fit into that slim category where we can easily weave in and out of the straight world AND the gay world without looking out of place. The downside to this is that I had to be in a gay environment for strangers to know that I'm gay, which makes it harder to attract other gay men when not in that environment. I've been out of the closet since my 20's, but I just don't give off that gay vibe. So take heart my friend, you have plenty of time to find a mate, and if it doesn't happen, the alternative is not as horrifying as we are all lead to believe. You are a good looking guy with a great personality and would be a catch for the right guy. Good luck to you, and I hope you find happiness in your life!

[@TheIntrovert83]

As a 39 yr old Lesbian I felt that! 🙏❤

[@77barrymac]

Damn, I'd say about 80% of what you just posted here applies to me as well, though I've never really been out. I've been more open about me the last 20+ years, though as I tell folks, if someone isn't asking, I'm generally speaking not telling. And there's pretty much nothing about me that would suggest to anyone that I'm more into guys than women, other than the fact that I've only dated one woman in the last 20 years, and that was pretty brief. For...well, probably obvious reasons.

[@twin3290]

YES I'm an identical twin too, and I feel the same way Matt, thanks for sharing this. It helps to know we are not alone

[@KaiDecadence]

I just turned 31 this year and at least as far as my life goes, it's a pretty solitary one. I don't really have any friends, never dated, and I don't really go out much. To be fair though, I have always been introverted and it was always hard for me to make friends, let alone keep them but the later was because I just couldn't keep friends if they eventually found other people and had more in common with them, I was always the weakest link in that regard. It didn't (and still doesn't) help that a lot of my interests are niche, especially when it comes to gay men. What with being into the Goth scene and liking a lot of rock music and in gaming, my preferring older games over newer ones. I'm just all over the place lol. So socializing has always been difficult for me because I hardly ever meet anyone who is into the same things that I'm into. As far as gay dating goes, I've never been in a relationship ever and as a feminine guy, well I'm sure you know the common consensus of how in the gay dating world, most guys prefer masculine guys over feminine and I am not shaming anyone for that but I'm not gonna pretend like it hasn't made dating any easier for me lol. And then of course my being black and I'm not saying this to start controversy, I'm just saying that I would be foolish to believe that race doesn't factor in with some guys as well, it's just the way it is and out of your control but I digress. And then you have to factor in your own preferences and just yeah, it's total rough ride. What you said about how it feels like guys don't hit you up anymore, including guys your age or older, I'm experiencing that as well. I mean, I never got that much attention on the apps even in my 20s but I certainly got more compared to now even if a majority of the guys weren't my type. I think this is why some guys lie about their age on them because they don't want to be filtered out since like you said, it does seem like youth is predominantly prioritized and how the 20-30 is the preferred timeframe, even for guys in their 30-40-50s. But eh, I refuse to lie about my age because it just leads to issues and it's best to just deal with what you have. Strangely enough I get people being surprised when they learn I'm in my 30s lol. And finally financially wise, I'm not in the best stage as I struggled with getting a job in my 20s because of my autism and I didn't get my first job until I was 24 and the job I stuck with ever since when I was 26. The only difference between then and now is I have managed to save quite a bit over the years and with where I am currently, I have some to fall back on but I'm no where near as well off as some others in their 30s but alas, it is what it is and I'm just taking it one step at a time. But I will say that despite the hardships I may face that is mostly tied to social isolation, I do feel a lot more comfortable with myself. I started working out when I was 24 and started going to the gym when I was 26 and kept up the routine and I like how I look physically with where I am now. And I know that if I ever do meet someone who has similar interests to mine, I could probably be a good friend to them as well. The point is, I don't hate myself lol I mean I didn't hate myself too much in my 20s but how I feel now s back then, I'm in a lot better place. Anyway that's my 2 cents. It's nice to see people talking about this because the 30s feels like such a weird place to be in in the gay scene so I appreciate you talking about this and I wish you the best with your own goals in life.

[@freddyhollingsworth5945]

Great Video!! I have found that other gay guys in the community are far more judgmental and flat out rude and such vs the straight community. Lesbian women have always treated me very well. The gay guys can be so shallow and extremely narrow minded and judge you based on simple things like your "size" is the most important thing...it is like they are all looking for that huge one "unicorn" stud... 10L+ x 7G... Keep up the great videos!!!

[@ronjones8444]

I agree too. It was extremely bizarre. Especially when interacting in social circles. I’m now just myself and flip them the bird- if they get to be too bad haha!

[@jeremiahallyn4603]

You are not in any way an ugly troll. I think you're very handsome, but I do know what you are talking about. Too much superficial crap, especially in the gay world. It does get a little disheartening, but as you get older you just get to the point of not caring about that silly stuff. Great video 👍❤

[@LenHealsU]

So true with what you say Matt! Don't worry about how you look! You are hot! The guy that ends up as your boyfriend will be one lucky dude!

[@echospaw899]

Imagine what it feels like for guys in their 40s who filter out the generation just older than them(?) My 30s were 'okay', but when I hit my 40s...my best decade of my life, so far, tbh. But finding a date/hook-up has become much more difficult. Where are all the guys in my age group(???). It's like they disappeared.

[@camvigil4]

Thank you for continuing to post Matt. It is great to see you change and grow just like I have

[@DinethCat]

I'm 31, gay, and in Sri Lanka and I resonated with almost all the struggles you said here. Loneliness hurts.

[@teardropsdude]

Aloha. Great video and always relatable. Will attempt to keep this response short. We are not too far in age, however, I am just a few years older. There are many differences between teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s, and pretty sure more differences as we grow older. Everyone has their share of struggles in their own way, most of the time, we can relate, and other times, I trust not everyone would understand where we are coming from. Age plays a factor in the "gay" community, even if some say "age is nothing but a number". Financial stability plays a bigger role as we grow older and hopefully maturer. I am aware of my flaws and I know my biggest flaw is preventing me from dating or even being in a healthy relationship. I may not be as confident as I come off, unfortunately, I have my share of insecurities. You posting here and there, whether your posts are here on KZbin or Instagram (or any platform), I trust helps your anxiety. You are being you and that is the best first impression anyone could as for. I am slowly coming to my conclusion that being a friend to people probably works best than being in a serious relationship. And I will be the first to admit that I take on multiple projects to overcompensate other things, and will be ok with that. Continue being you. You help many people, and all your followers are proof of that. Enjoy the week ahead and looking forward to Matthew Rime.....

[@MattMoore83]

Absolutely -- age and generations... Our experiences shape who we are. I'm a millennial and I see the benefits Gen Zs have and so happy for them. I wonder if I was a Gen Z and how much less struggles I would have? Because part of my issue is self acceptance and growing was no easy task. My 30s may have been smoother?

[@teardropsdude]

@@MattMoore83 Acceptance plays a big role in many perspectives. Cannot really say of things would be smoother. We may not have a big difference in age however the struggles I place on myself is mostly due to the lack of acceptance. In my life, being/playing the "perfect" child/friend/colleague/public figure, appears to be the only option and I'm working on improving those thoughts..... I know it's not realistic however a battle I'm working on. You put yourself out there in your many ways, which makes you way ahead in life.

[@malachai8049]

im 25 now. i expect my 30's to be the same as my 20's. pretty mundane. i never really had friends to begin with but i definitely lost connection with alot after coming out as bi. i think tho because most of my friends were girls so....yeah. also i feel like I'm on the borderline with the community. it's like i know I'm accepted, but not really within a specific group. makes it harder for me to relate to people, because like you, im don't feel like i share enough in common to actually have a permanent place.

[@adventuresofperseus945]

I've always had problems with dating. Even b4 my transition. Now it's like ten times harder, i feel like people have really high expectations of the person they want to be with or fairytale person in mind.There's nothing wrong with being a little picky but sometimes it makes it hard. Now that I'm in my mid 30s trying to date, most people only want 1 thing gross fetishes, or don't want a relationship because they dont like the people that do what I do as my career choice, I do tell people what i do and I get blocked but helps weave people out, or because of what I am. So I stop and go on trying to find someone but also my job takes up more of my personal time right now and we'll I'm more concerned with getting my self established with my career, I want my own house and land. ( hopefully missouri) I do have to say I don't like dating younger guys or old men, I always have young kids or old men messaging me. Or the people I'm interested in are not interested and visa versa. I want kids and long term but I feel like sometimes the universe is telling me, " you will find someone when ur dead" 😆. Dating is frustrating now days. Or to some I'm not the stereo type they assume about lgbtq people.It's like smacking ur head off a Wall. Sorry about the long rant.

[@MattMoore83]

No, you're good! There is a study that the majority of gay men are single after 45. I hope this changes when I get to this age... Very discouraging though. And yess!! I also notice gay men have so many sexual fetishes... I wonder if suppression that brought these on? This causes more issues in the dating arena!

[@adventuresofperseus945]

@@MattMoore83 it's a possibility maybe when u find the one that's likes those types of fetishes aswell I don't believe all fetishes are gross just most relating to myself and what I am.. Seems these days no one wants a relationship or if they say they do they screw around behind ur back. I blame movies for the fairy tails they put out there about how love should be. In reality it's not even close to that but blame myself for believing it too.

[@b4804514]

Matt THis is a numbers game. The more contact you have in a gay community the more potential partners you might come in contact with. You need to be near a gay hub area because there is such a small number of guys that it takes a lot of effort. Your social anxiety is holding you back. get in the mind set that it just doesn't matter what people think

[@HawkinsZhu]

I don’t know what you’re talking about Matt, but you’re gorgeous! What makes you even more desirable is your self awareness and you’re so emotionally available. You’re beautiful man!

[@MattMoore83]

Thank you 😊

[@loverboy424]

@@MattMoore83 damn your sooo cute and hotttt

[@markbeck8384]

Matt: I''m Gay, early 70s; I want to talk to you. I used to perform/have a constant gay bar life. I got too old for it. I was always a loner, independent. My Career helped me connect with kids, women; but I am about to retire. My family has either died or is very far away. I've always been curious, and my Exploring has supported me for a long time. Now, I am so Old, that the energy for novelty is beginning to decline. What endures is: order/cleanliness/comfortable habits/news-voting/paying my bills/upkeep-repair/some savings. I watch some Porn/like my own company.

[@kiefywhy4342]

I'm 53yo, met my boyfriend 17 years ago. Went through a rough patch 5 years ago. Met a younger guy at work. Nothing happened but it was obvious to me he was gay and into me. He's now moved away for work and i'm devastated. I love my boyfriend.....but I'm in love with the other guy.

[@cary4603]

Yeah, after 25 years of being single, I have found myself getting used to being single. For little over a year I experimented to see what I can connect to, but I found what little connections I was able to make to be shallow compared to what I was looking for and willing to offer. Especially for the area I am in. I am a curious sort, a quality that helps to create the adventures I have explored in my past, but for the most part, relationship wise, being single has become a major aspect of me. And not by choice. Lol. The most interest anyone has honestly had in me came from foreigners. I was raised outside the US so that probably makes my mannerism alien to the average American, while a mixture of exotic and familiar to foreigners. The one aspect of life that sticks with me is the consideration of companionship. Companionship offers a similar form of intimacy where I can be known and know someone else, share special moments and achievements with them, be simple or silly with them, be a trusted encouraging supporter for and a whet stone they can be sharpened by, have a travel buddy for new adventures or someone I am actually willing to travel to go see, have someone who I can honestly speak my thoughts to and be a trusted ear for theirs. The idea of companionship seems simple in my mind, but in this day and age and culture, that kind of person is rare as a lot of relationships are not forged on meeting in the middle and growing to understand one another. I find myself against unyielding uncompromising preferences while unable to remove the stigmas placed on me. And then being solitary doesn’t seem that bad. I have grown use to that solitude but the candle of hope is kept safe, with my comics, video games and camping gear lol. It’s potentially a cultural and social issue behind this.

[@natelsy3277]

I am so glad that i found your channel. It is good to know that i am not the only one

[@nichill7474]

Matt, this is wisdom that we often ignore. I’ve been gay since i was 10 or 11. It is not easy. Anxiety,fear, loneliness and depression really sucks. And i too never felt connected to the gay community. Thank God for unexpected friendships that showed up, who i was able to engage with only after i started taking care of myself both physically and mentally. Don’t focus on what others think of you but only on what you think of yourself. And if anyone is like me, that needed drastic improvement.

[@JordanJSparks]

all of my brothers are straight, one has a transgender girlfriend so my parents say he is gay, but in reality all my siblings are straight. I think it would be fascinating having a twin with a different sexuality though, having that close of a bond but having someone that close to you that is open to learning about your oppposite sexuality. I think straight twin brothers are some of the most open minded , accepting ally's of gay men out there.

[@MattMoore83]

Darn - sorry your family assumes that about your brother! I hope that doesn't weigh down on him... Now, having an identical twin with a different sexual orientation is like seeing yourself in a different dimension. Like what my life would be like if I were straight. I am lucky to have experienced that.

[@emfrentes]

Hi there. I could not have said it better myself, Matt. I am now in my 40s, lost a brother, impossible work, small town, few real friends if any, forced into being bi. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@user-nz8nb2vi4n]

I am in my 20s but I feel so distant from all the superficiality of the community and of the people of my age

[@user-nz8nb2vi4n]

@Erin Walter I appreciate the suggestion but the time I was into superficial friends passed and I'm not interested anymore :)

[@javierrivas4575]

Thank you for your video, you mention sexual minority but imagine being a person of color in the gay community

[@ed867]

I see some so many cases where men of color are sought out above other races. You need not ask why, I suspect you know.

[@PhillipGiosio]

Much more baggage in your 60's. In my 30,'s I thought I would find the right person, found the wrong ones. 40s still was looking ,got disheartened, disappointed, 50s gave up & withdrew entirely .. and now I'm working on myself,wish I had started in my 40's, better late than never .. but looks like being single is my way of life now.

[@MrMikey1273]

Sounds like you are figuring things out. I know my 30s were definitely not the same. I was just able to come out fully. Like you my 30s were also a time when I think I grew a lot and discovered more about myself. Also started to earn more too. Still feel like it's still always a struggle. Being single still at 48 I don't have what some guys that have been partnered for years with good carreers have financially. I do OK live modesty. I said this before in a comment on one of your other posts, I often feel like I don't have a lot in common with the guys in the mainstream gay culture.

[@MattMoore83]

Michael, I wonder if it's a generation issue as well? Gen X may have experienced more issues than my generations leading to more conflicts. I see Gen Z's and wish I was in that generation as being gay and bi is widely accepted.

[@MrMikey1273]

@@MattMoore83 yes definitely the younger generations have it a little bit easier with things like being out to family, at work and generally it's more accepted now than it was before. I still don't feel the need like some younger guys do to make sure you know their gay. I'm glad they can be proud of it and not have much fear. For me it not the most important thing I want people to know about me. I see older gay men are more like that as well. Definitely a generation thing.

[@shantivanderborght7091]

It's funny cause I have a totally different experience (only in regards to dating) - I used to find it really hard to date guys that I liked in my twenties, and therefore developed serious self-confidence issues. But as I started to reach my late thirties, and became more masculine and physically bigger (I used to be a very tall but very scrawny guy), I became extremely successful. I almost never messaged anyone during that time as I kept getting hit by all the guys I fancied and could pretty much date anyone I wanted to... It completely changed my outlook on things. i guess you could say it was a bit of an "ugly little duck" kind of story, but it happens too. It's different for everyone. I personally prefer masculine, mature guys, and I just personally find that almost everyone looks far more handsome in their late thirties and early forties (just a question of personal taste!). The morale of the story is that there's a fit out there for everyone - for some you'll be too young, while for others you'll be too old! That's the game of life...

[@collinpowell7902]

Me now being 6 months away from turning 30 this is good advice thanks

[@trashtvinternational]

You have no idea how much this helped!!

[@aldwin08sls]

i am a late bloomer and now im in 30s and the struggle is real

[@user-nz8nb2vi4n]

You are really deep and wise ❤️

[@bluenardo]

You are an inspiration. Your articulate observations is gunna help people. Keep up the good work. 👍

[@MattMoore83]

Thank you bluenardo! 😊

[@cinnamonbeardstud]

Yo Matt. I've always thought that gay culture isn't really a thing we can track or come close to defining even, it's something that gays are constantly reinventing making it up as they go along. It's not a bad thing because it's done out of trying to find acceptance and support networks, but people forget that being gay is just a characteristic and that there are gays in every culture in the world evenly, regardless of they are accepted or not. I used to be really bummed out by not feeling like I ever fit in with gays when I got to go to "a city" for the first time in my 20s and it took me until my 30s to realize that just one thing about me, my sexuality, is really only a small part of my identity and it doesn't dictate what my culture is. We're too used to it being the most important or singular part of our identities that I have the suspicion that EVERY gay guy actually secretly thinks they aren't a part of gay culture because no matter what "type" of gay you are, you will always be in a minority group, whether its age range, ethnicity, body type, gender role/presenting, and anything else. The thing that sucks is that this made up social aspect of our sexuality that we can easily feel re-alienated from (the first alienation we have is from the heteronormative world) is still necessary for the visibility (like pride events and the trappings of advertising) we need to help get and maintain rights. That's where I had to do my own soul searching and decide that even though I might not keep up with an urban or big town's gay scene because I'll likely be stuck in a small town, just being myself where I am is my own form of contributing to visibility and rights. I'm 36 now and it's still really hard to try not getting discouraged when people assume or project problems on me because they only equate gays with living in big cities and assume I'm broken in some way, like I'm just confused, on drugs, or anything like that. But I deal because I'd rather just be myself and face a pile of problems based on my genuine self, and not live with a smaller set of problems based on a modified version of me that's compensating the possible happiness I could find just because my day to day would feel easier. People in my family, although they are very accepting and even the vast majority of people in my small town don't even look twice seeing gays, don't understand this part of my life at all because they think me just moving to a city will "fix" me, ie make me happy and successful and have friends. I tried it, it didn't work, and I realized I shouldn't have to feel the need to chase things anymore and lose myself in the process.

[@Jojoloon]

I love how you can always just vent for a while on a topic. Much more since it's such a relatable topic that I've gone through in my life. Even though there's an abundance of people in my area, I can't relate to majority of the people, as they generally come as pretentious to me.

[@borg9355]

I'm in my early 50's and even though I look to most people to be in my mid 30's that hasn't helped me find a relationship in over 10 years. For me because I have been single for so long I just try and focus on things that I enjoy doing and I try to make new friends as much as I can; but I will say most gay guys are only looking for sex. I guess just having sex takes less effort than working on a relationship. I'll see gay couple after gay couple on Facebook or single guys on there that I'll never be able to meet and I must say it tends to get me down.

[@kev60154]

Hugs and lots of love 💕 while your figuring things out !

[@MattMoore83]

Thank you again Kev.

[@mattemery9575]

You are so damn cute. Love it when you laugh!! Maybe you need to check out the “bear” scene. Be a chaser and you might feel better about your hot self. Your body is beautiful. Know that!!

[@newworldlove7031]

I struggle to believe how anyone could assume early 30's is old!! Like yourself I do not feel connected to the superficial body obsessed gay world. Luckily for me I am very self reliant. I'm almost 50 and have experienced a lot of ageism from the gay community. I think my cat is better company than most of the gay men I have dated!! I am never lonely or bored so that doesn't relate to me!! I'm sure you will meet a genuine guy very soon so don't give up.

[@Mister-Reno]

Very interesting. Im a late bloomer(53) i guess I'm past the desired age so it seems 😔 it's clear to me I'm more likely than not to have a lonely life to come.

[@Not-Ap]

♥♥♥

[@Robert-vf6ny]

"straight acting" this guy.

[@fentontuck9998]

I’m 30, realized I was bi at the age of 28. Came out to my parents and my brother and some of my friends. Those couple months were some of the best of my life because I was truly myself. Then I had to move for work and it feels like I’m back in the closet all over again. It really sucks because everybody just assumes I’m straight but I don’t want to correct them 😞

[@markhousel7936]

I'm 44 and after a 12 year relationship ending, am starting over. I WISH I were 32 instead. 40s in the gay world you are truly invisible. But you're correct, it's all based on your area and exposure to other gay men.

[@Mianroca]

I would definately ask you out if I lived in your city. You are sweet, hansome, smart and sensitive. You seem like my kind of guy.

[@SEAN31680]

I've never understood having body issues because of strangers. You only have to please for yourself. If you're healthy, there's no need to change something.

[@kevinwilliams-ub7uy]

im 68 get hit on men from 25 to 50s i was in a relationship for 37 years been single hit the gym body has transformed big time ❤ it needed to was very overweight.being single doesn’t worry me i think some gay men are so hard on themselves if it happens it happens live your life .

[@smphn333]

Hey Matt, your story sounds oddly familiar...I've never seemed to fit in due to the unreasonable standards held within the community. Two advice tidbits...expand your horizons, distance is really not an issue so much these days and don't go looking for things in life...let them come to you. Sometimes you'd be surprised they've been sitting right in front of you this whole time. Thanks for sharing 😊

[@MattMoore83]

That is how it works... I just have to be visible first for them to come to me... Like I'm never on the dating sites anymore. I think that might be the issue 😂

[@smphn333]

@@MattMoore83 I think you're visible in your own way. We don't really need dating apps per se...social media and email are still good alternatives. Just have to allow others in, you never know

[@pridan94]

Glad to know you're doing ok

[@laurenmccormack7088]

right on dude. thanks for sharing

[@Davidipac]

Your visual on camera is an old teen. You refer to how you were hit on in your teens and twenties, and now you feel more isolated. The destructive nature of social media is more destructive to gay men in this generation than those of previous generations who had to get out there and find safe relationships. Adult teens are running the asylum and it ludicrous and really cruel. I am mature and my boyfriend is much younger. He has just entered his thirties and has often shared the dilemma of shallow friends in his age group who are so narcissistic and too observed with body shaming. I have never been in love with a man until he came into my orbit. We are not allowing the challenges of age difference to impede us. I have no wealth but this relationship is priceless. Intellectually we are equal and we share intergenerational perspectives. I feel I am learning more from him than many influential people in my past. Our physical experiences are totally new having never been explored by either of us and as we learn the untapped pleasures, our love us evolving.❤

[@marcusstephenomara884]

I will be honest I had a very different idea of gay life when I first entered it. I thought I would meet someone one day and even get married and eventually become a dad that has been my dream. Now I'm 42 and virtually every relationship I've had with a man ended up with me being on receiving end of quite severe domestic abuse. Every partner I've had put me through hell and I think I've let that happen one time too many. I've been single 6 years now and adjusting to life on my own. I agree with you I don't have anything in common with most gay men either. I don't go out on the scene and I don't take part in pride. My circle of f friends has also very much reduced I've only got 2 friends and even my family has distanced from me due to me being gay. It's not easy and most straight people will never understand how hard it really is for us. I think you are a really nice guy very much on same page as me and if you was near me I would definitely consider dating you 😊 Hope things are getting better for you ?

[@javierrivas4575]

I started my business in my 30s, I also got away from the gay community for a while. So I get you

[@mohammedmustafa6207]

I am very happy with your words. Even though you and I belong to different cultures, now your point of view has affected me. I am from an Islamic country that punishes homosexuals with death. In fact, I did not care. I was sexually active throughout my twenties. But as I approach my thirties, I become afraid of being like myself for the rest of my life. I think a day will come when I will find peace like I did

[@SEAN31680]

Don't put yourself in the victim role, you'll think less of yourself if you constantly believe that. See yourself as the man who can do everything and radiate self-confidence!

[@Arichxc]

I’m curious as to what is in your profile lol. Like…maybe that’s an issue. Not for you, but for them. It seems reductive to reduce it to appearance.

[@CharlespaulDowell]

Oh yes it gets pretty damn hard once you get past your 30s to find a date I'm 57 and I think I'm way past my dating Prime and nobody's going to ever look at me but also I live in a very small little town of 900 in a very straight area of Northern California so that's probably another reason I'll never get another date oh well luckily I'm happy being by myself but I would definitely date somebody in their thirties and up but I definitely wouldn't date anybody in their twenties I don't need a child in my life.

[@OmarKwia]

I am 17 years old. Give me advice to exploit my youth in the future😂😂😂

[@Not-Ap]

Start going to the gym, work on your diet, and always present yourself in your best light as far how you dress. Keeping doing this for the rest of your life. Men are visual and value appearance over all else. If they aren't attracted to you then won't matter how good of a person you are. Also it helps if you work hard on becoming as financially secure as possible. Gay Men in edition to being extremely superficial and vain can be very materialistic as well. Lastly don't look for deep connections on the apps, they aren't for that, try local LGBT+ social clubs and sports teams. Really anything where sex isn't the focus and requires long term commitments. Spiritual, Religious, Higher Education or Self-Help groups for example. That's where you'll meet gay men interested in long term relationships as all of those things require commitments and are not sex focused.

[@kevinmcalpine6929]

Hey man hope you are doing ok I know you suffered some losses recently. You prayed for me doing the same for you 🙏

[@phillipsmith7759]

If only 5% of males participate in gay activities, there is a limited pool to choose from. Then add other factors, such as color, education, social standing, weslth, making choices becomes more complex. But you are one handsome, thoughtful male.

[@rickjackson7042]

man, you are gorgeous!!!

[@MattMoore83]

Thank Rick! :)

[@744156]

Hey Matt I've subbed to the gaming channel, love Streets of Rage 4, can't wait for TMNT Shredders Revenge. What times do you stream and use Discord?

[@MattMoore83]

I'm totally going to stream TMMT when that game comes out!! I stream on the weekends -- Saturday around 5 pm and Sunday at 11 am ET. Drop by! :)

[@StephenHartHartTalks]

it does get harder the older you get, in my experience anyway! xoxo

[@VictorDo]

Do you think there would be great value in moving to a bigger city again?

[@asparra]

Thanks for your story

[@aclem8246]

The gay community is just as bad on it own people. You have to be young, attractive, muscular, have money, and be well hung to be top of the heap in the gay community. Not well hung ? You are relegated to being a bottom whether you like it or not. Over 40 and you are done. Might as well buy a dog and move to the suburbs to live the rest of your life out alone. Relationships ? Very rare. Grass is always greener elsewhere and relationships don't last. Besides the gay community has discovered Grindr and other apps so you don't even have to meet and get to know a person for an hour or so before sex. No friendship unless you have already slept together. No real community anymore. No wonder there is so much alcoholism, drug abuse , and suicide.

[@joeym5355]

I know Exactly what your talking about living here in the area . What do you do in your spare time ? Weekend s are very dry here . And I find dating too frustrating here . So I’m trying to find just friends that are genuinely want to hangout.

[@MattMoore83]

In my spare time I game. I also workout and do outdoorsy stuff. I'd like to expand this list but my job has been a thorn as of late. You can always drop by my streams and talk about anything.

[@PookyXPook]

Hi Matt, can you do a video on "Being Gay in your 40s"? I'm gonna need it soon

[@nelsondesousa9304]

Cute and articulate. Thanks Matt. Come to Australia. I’ll date you 😊

[@mikeydashank3897]

Thnx for the vid bro

[@markbeckham7298]

Wait until you are in your 60's and you become not only invisible but the constant target of much younger men harassing you and calling you names!

[@MattMoore83]

I hear that frequently. Very sad to hear. It doesn't give hope hear this...

[@hrishikeshsen1141]

Sending you lots of love - a much younger man 💝💖❤

[@andrerenaud8785]

Maybe All of you Americans living in smaller Cities should move to Vancouver and You will all find Lots of People Gay and Straight to meet and hang out with, that's a bit of a joke !!!! But it's not too far off the mark !

[@joseroman5003]

Welcome to getting older and for the most part it doesn't get any easier either your bed Jose

[@eawillis]

Matt if you get a guitar chord chart (online or printed) and learn three chords (F, C, and G), you will be amazed how many songs you will be able to play with just 3 chords. Good Luck!

[@jjp2052]

I totally I agree with u. I think u are really handsome. Good luck

[@Ivankoworld]

and what do u say on your profile that your very direct

[@joeym5355]

And also I feel I don’t attract a lot of gay men here . But straight men or Bi I just don’t understand it Lol

[@user-if4df7lk1z]

You are handsome.

[@mimimariah8]

Straight viewer! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@MattMoore83]

Did your GPS take you off course?? Haha, kiddin! Thanks got watching. :0)

[@jasonoxenbury4720]

Hi Matt please don't think you look sexy or gorgeous looking ... I think you look gorgeous in my eyes. .I'm 61years old. . people say to me I look nice X happy but underneath I feel I'm not? I was born gay so I don't care what people think of me .I cannot change what I look like. . I think you have a lovely face X a beautiful smile .trying to find some one who is my age is very hard to find I love your video. Please show more. Take care jay xx

[@user-if4df7lk1z]

I am sorry you lost your brother!!

[@123546789kkkkkkk]

You look great,be more confident

[@greeniembush4106]

You need to meet me l'd was the Navy and was hard just let me know I'd was in the navy for 8 years just talk to me and that was in the 80s..

[@BabyBugBug]

Are you from the mid Atlantic? Your accent sounds like it.

[@jasonschubel1783]

What did you do today that you enjoyed ?

[@andrerenaud8785]

Hey I think that you are Very Handsome and you might just be talking to or meeting the wrong people, ok I am Lucky to live in a City that being Gay is Normal and Nobody even Notices the difference ! So I suggest you just approach more Men in REALI LIFE , as apposed to apps & screens ! I think you would be having to turn them down all the time !

[@kendrickdcarter871]

Move to NYC 😉✨

[@MattMoore83]

Hey Kendrick! NYC is something I would at least like to visit once in my life. My parent visited it when they were young and felt so intimidated.

[@theoldmule3619]

Your quite cute Mr

[@archieandrews7759]

How old are you now?

[@MattMoore83]

older. 😊

[@jhb61249]

Matt, first off, you are very handsome. However, honestly, (get ready!) you might do too much looking at porn and popular fashionable trends. Trying to keep up and blend in is failure waiting to happen. Find your own personal look and style and stay with it generally and be happy with that and that which you attract. Sex and friendship relations should not be a smorgasbord sample everybody and popularity contest. Most problems people have is simply cerebral. Grow up and accept yourself. You know you are attractive to many, but you may discard them as they don't rank with the porn and movie stars, etc. Your problems are everyone's problems. Second, and I hearing you saying you are gay looking for gays to date?

[@mikenelson1624]

👍✨✌️💫😎💪

[@virginiarush8541]

Matt and all listening, you still have time to accept Jesus before you leave this earth. I came across your video on grieving your brother, and I noticed this video. We all have sin, but you have to know this behavior is not natural. God created you to be a man, for a woman. Get out of this lifestyle before it's to late. We all will go somewhere when we die, and you don't want to go before Jehovah god with this sin. Please seek Jesus before it's to late.🙏🙏🙏