Blasting Hoses | Ep. 144 - Lifeline

[@SupergoodStudios]

Happy to be back!New Patreon episode coming this week: patreon.com/lifelineluxury

[@zenorabbit439]

Chris looks like a floating head with that background and that shirt lol

[@michaelmullmusic]

Eh se camouflage

[@rondoespsych5901]

Apoltergeist

[@brendan7258]

"Honestly the best thing to donate would be a house". Was wild haha

[@gabrielleyoung1097]

To the guy that shared his ex leaving so horribly, you are the most vulnerable submission I’ve seen. You are so strong and you will be ok ❤

[@isaacrayburn969]

I had the same thing happen to me recently… it was hard listing to because I just understand what he’s going thru… it’s really hard. I’m just looking at myself differently now like what is wrong with me what did I do to deserve this it’s just so fucking terrible😞

[@jaejae444]

he said everything was "perfect" ... there's no way that's true, & that might be part of the problem.. 👀

[@Spiritbomb88]

Yeah...I'm sure there's a part of the story he's not telling us. Don't be so quick to give people sympathy you don't even know

[@chriskielley]

@gabrielleyoung1097 thank you!! I'ma forever think she got abducted now 😂

[@TAStormChasing]

It happens to most of us one time or another.

[@goodboysongs]

No episode last week? Guess I’ll just have to enjoy this one TWICE as much eeeeeeeEEEEeeeeeEeeeeYEEEEEESSSSS 💥

[@Manhandle730]

Have you watched any news at all?

[@jonathaone]

s'inconsiderate use of emoji

[@LoVeAmBiEnT]

Just be you why you gotta try to sound like Chris. Cringe

[@checksoverstripes2498]

@@LoVeAmBiEnTs’serious with your comment

[@taylorclark5263]

They thoroughly described back-handed compliments for 10 min without ever saying "back-handed compliments" ... Like it was a new discovery 😂😂

[@CR_22]

Hey hey hey sweetie doll it’s nuanced

[@jacobembry6709]

They survived? " Yaaaasss, got out of that one!"

[@erniemac9166]

🦗🦗 🦗 🦗

[@yansmith9562]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@TAStormChasing]

Want to let you guys know. No episode last week made me do something ive only done with a couple of podcasts. I went back & started running through past episodes Ive already listened to. Very rare thing to do. You two got something special. Hopefully it keeps going. Yall stay safe in Cali.

[@erniemac9166]

Looks like Matt saved his shirt from the fire just in time lol

[@jayaveNB]

How high is Matt lol

[@catnesssss]

So high 😂

[@JasperAtlas-y3x]

dude i was tryna see if anybody commented on that. He got them SLEEEEEPY eyes. had me worried for a sec almost

[@Tyveltal]

He's blitzed.

[@connorcash1033]

5:12 the harmonic “uummm” 😂😂

[@ryanclaytor8214]

Every episode I’m on the edge of my seat for the moment Matt says “you’re yelling”

[@wanderingfool27]

Don't know what i would have done with myself if you guys didn't come back today. I NEEDS MY LIFELINE.

[@Coeus-X]

:) That “remote control cars” line is one of the many reasons why we need and love you, Chris

[@kaydenstegman4439]

I love how Chris was working the kidnapping bit as Matt was trying to be serious 😂😂

[@imthenewmessiah420]

I'm so confused @28:45 he just said she left him while he was at work and then says he works from home 🤣🤣

[@marcushudak]

Probably at his closest office, customer meeting, or work site...

[@joshbisig]

Exactly. This one is fishy

[@imthenewmessiah420]

@@marcushudak if he works from home how would he have an office?

[@imthenewmessiah420]

@@marcushudak like I said I'm confused on that one

[@marcushudak]

@@imthenewmessiah420 most companies are not entirely remote and will have a hub in a large city where some people work out of. Sometimes remote employees will go to the office for training or large meetings.

[@tuesgayy]

Sundays are for lifeline 🗣️

[@MattMcLeod6]

We haven’t talked enough about Matt’s double cross ear ring. I know he’s doing it satirically, but I personally just need more context. Thanks in advance

[@dsanchez1616]

Every new episode is my new favorite episode

[@mkwilson38]

Everyone is overthinking it! You can not control what or when people will compliment you. You can not expect people to navigate your OWN insecurities about yourself. Everyone changes and the person is simply complimenting you on what they are looking at in the pic. Take the compliment, say thank you, and do not demonize THEM for ANY reason for say something nice to you, no matter if you feel you no longer are that or not.

[@CR_22]

Waiting on Matt’s urine sample to get the tested 😂

[@SickNaban]

28:01 dude said his gf left while he was at work then stated that he works from home. 🤔

[@chriskielley]

@sickNaban 😂😂 I prob should of started with I got a new job a week before she left and started the job from home 2 days after.

[@Enriquecoolins]

Matt is lit asf in this! lol!

[@robertscott9658]

59:46 best “oops” of all time 😂😂😂😂

[@HeavyShowsNYC]

I only ever listened to this as a podcast until last week. The camera cuts add such another level of funny

[@kevinnoble7532]

Glad yall are safe and even more glad to see the episode cause we need some comedy right now.

[@testpm-il7qq]

Chris : "John Grisham " ... Matt: "Ooops dude!"

[@tramp12]

“Coming but disappointed about it” 😂😂😂

[@riseandshine5706]

being considered hot is rare so kudos for at least achieving something most never a chance to. It’s like congratulating them on a past cheievement

[@jofohollywood]

Flannel sheets + listening to Lifeline while shaving = Happiness

[@willeGG17]

You shave in bed?

[@Manhandle730]

@@willeGG17my question exactly.

[@shaeanemusic]

24:02 Chris…..what dude??? The SAME amount of clean?? It’s literally rinsing something with water vs wiping it with paper 😭

[@doublet_inthemorning]

Yeah what a horrendous take lol do you wanna smash peanut butter into your hairy balloon knot or do you want it sprayed literally until it’s gone then a quick pat dry after It’s like they think ppl are just putting pants on with soaking holes lol

[@extraterrestrialculture]

⁠@@doublet_inthemorning bute guy here👋 i agree. Because if im using the #2 restroom at home i am taking a shower after. If im at work, it is VERY helpful

[@Dmg6um]

I think Matt Damon’s cameo in deadpool summed this up perfectly - if a bird sh!t on your face would you wipe it off with paper, or would you wash it? 😆

[@SAR-MH53]

Hurry everyone, send Clownifornians money… 🤦‍♂️

[@Jwupezero]

Chris blends into the wall

[@ciaracantwell]

these shows keep getting funnier and funnier.

[@CR_22]

The “stay at home mom” had the kid ready to go 😂

[@DubbleDare-]

"packed up and left while I was at work" "I work from home"

[@texthetransmuter]

missed you boys. it was weird realizing I had been watching for 143 weeks

[@anubislee36]

As a teacher, therapist, accountant, WHATEVER, you can be friendly, but you should not be their "friend". A friend confides in you, tells you their secrets, you tell them yours, they see a movie with you on your birthday. Do you want some lady at school having that relationship with your kid? All my best teachers were good role models, open minded positive people that helped me learn and enjoy leaning. That description applies to zero of my friends ever. There should be almost no overlap lol

[@joestandley8487]

Yay we’re back🎉🎉🎉

[@fugumeme]

such a good movie idea 36:57 hahaha

[@muggystreetz]

man Matt looks high asf

[@trishm142]

16:15 yup hate that, had a co worker ALWAYS say “you look tired” 😑 used to annoy the shit outta me so started doing it back 😂

[@Sabu203]

3:44 “Fugagafoff” hey, what? also out of nowhere no context, 3:55 “the last Raw, the last Monday Night Raw” 😂 wtf is going on?

[@SolidaritySound]

Oooo this jussst got me

[@JVsGalacticAdventures]

If you got poop on your hand would you use toilet paper to clean it, or water? 🤔

[@BrandonCoast]

mouth

[@MikeArnold535]

Matt is sooooo done with Chris in this episode 🤣🤣🤣

[@etzahi16]

Love you guys!!!!

[@macheteddie]

I love Chris’ camo shirt

[@MaxLee-k4d]

Honestly just glad to hear y'all and your family are okay great episode

[@TylerG69]

That “Taken for Real” bit was fucking gold. Don’t find that shit round these parts that often😅

[@AustinAwake]

Wait how did she leave while he was at work if he works from home ?

[@SupergoodStudios]

Oh yeah wtf

[@CR_22]

“That didn’t happen, did it ?” 😂

[@jazzmodern]

HAHAHA I think I had a bit of post bar lethargy. Didn't listen before I hit submit lol I sound like that guy who randomly tickles the person in front of me at a movie theater. Glad you had fun with it and are still alive and well @51:00

[@realtyrocker]

love you boys

[@mandysofia4104]

"throwin it around"😂😂😂

[@brianchacon6208]

Matt looks like he just came from the church of what's happening now!

[@lasvegascrisis]

we're back babies!!

[@LB_Munster]

34:40 😂😂😂😂❤ love you Chris

[@Dmg6um]

Guy at 29:00. Feel for you man. Friend of mine had his wife walk out after 4 years of marriage - he came home from work and all her stuff was gone. Lucky I had just broken up with my ex of 4 years also a week earlier so we had a sloppy bender of a year together. Now he’s married with kids and I’ve moved on also. My advice is simple - fill your time with other people and activities. It’s unfortunately a death of a part of you and that is the harshest way to put it but the quicker you except it the quicker you’ll be happy. One day you’ll wake up and achieve perfect clarity - it’ll all make sense as to why she left and you’ll feel better about the position you’re in. Have fun meeting new people bro

[@chriskielley]

@@Dmg6um I appreciate all of that, solid way to look at it!

[@Dmg6um]

@@chriskielleyfor sure man. Get absolutely jacked for the summer and enjoy yourself! 😆 All the best!

[@CR_22]

The thing is the person probably never spoke to the hotness back then

[@JeepTJay6]

21:42 Cut to any one of the 500 Epically hilarious compilations of Chris vs Bryan Callen. 😂🤣👴🏼

[@Layfff]

I must've missed it, but matt definitely made a joke about surviving the fire with that shirt on right.

[@krew282490]

Was on my third bowl of cereal right as the cereal topic came up 🤣

[@MatthewCharles]

Glad yall king babies are safe bros, much love from VA

[@brggz]

You know how you stop people from telling you you used to look hot? Don't let yourself go.

[@patricpleasure]

44:07 I‘m glad I’m not the only one who thinks the 70s are 30 years ago

[@jessicaflach3615]

“Maybe she got abducted “ way to see the silver lining Chris! She’s not with other guys by choice!!

[@ryanclaytor8214]

I have a severe hankering for those green sunglasses

[@chipdiesel9788]

I was basically the guy who was broken up with, but it was a cat, and I went home early because of ice (I worked on boats at the time) and caught her packing and leaving, made me sick

[@clouserlara8935]

The other crazy question is the guy who’s girl left him said she left while he was a work but also said he works from home

[@slimspen7560]

A fun one : Universal the movie studio used a full globe earth model intro years before the first picture of space was ever taken. The first picture from space was high enough to see but a fraction, no shape. How?

[@riseandshine5706]

throw it around 😂

[@Jennifer-i3b9q]

loved that

[@mte56]

back and to the left. awesome movie

[@carlreijer4478]

Why don't they take all the flood water from the Florida hurricanes and transport it over to ca for firefighting? I'm just saying

[@lilybocreep7316]

Ohhh I hate a “well actually” mf ….but since I experienced it first hand I can say that Katrina was for sure the worst natural disaster in history. But that doesn’t take away the devastation of the LA fires. I feel so bad for anyone affected by them :(((

[@mkwilson38]

Bro, the girl that left ‘owes you’ (in some ways) some sort of answer. So I’d say do not be scared or feel bad about contacting her and giving a case to why she owes you some words.

[@FishFarts4Dinner]

The boys are back, glad everything worked out for for cult leader and his bro

[@TylerG69]

Hearing Chris talking about how that one chick should have been only with a few guys in her 20s is absolutely wild considering the you know…I mean you know

[@jayyb1832]

22:21 fake ass story. He said she left while he was at work then said he works at home 💀🤣

[@HoonAgain]

A floating head yeeeeeeSSSSS DUDE

[@themodelcircus8179]

28:02 I don't think we are getting the full story here.

[@DirkMagirk]

Matt’s reaction to the last “oh well”

[@MrBANANAS1235]

Hey Chris why you dressed as the wall?

[@slep10101]

Chris’ shirt makes it look like he’s just a floating head and arms w the background

[@knowtheSLOAKLAND]

You killed it in SAN LUIS OBISPO Chris,, thanks for coming Cruz to IHOP next time We will hook you up

[@brandontrejo84]

I always thought having or using a Bidet was gaaaaaay. I got one, and until you have tried it you dont know how great it is. Haha

[@amc6965]

Background, pretty good

[@Jennifer-i3b9q]

Hey, first lady, best submission 👌🏼

[@braxtonsaylor1277]

She left him when he was away at work ! Which was in the other room.... He said he worked from home, he's just a weirdo and made up that entire story

[@braxtonsaylor1277]

28:01

[@YoPierre24]

I had a shopping spree… fully funded and paid for - it was really sad …

[@mrjsgart]

Chris always makes me laugh unlike almost any other American comedian

[@jasonwerth1751]

I watched the whole thing waiting for Matt to explain who Jodie Sweetin is to Chris.

[@snickalot16]

2:46 what about the dust bowl?

[@bryanbryan6108]

People should only donate to celebrities how much they have donated BEFORE all this happened. Because guess what? Lots and lots of people need clothes and silverware and a place to live at all times around the world

[@mollago]

44:03 "30 years ago" and Chris thinks the 70's. That's the 90's now ☠

[@Monkeyfound]

28:44 huh? “She took everything when I was at work… I work from home” explain.

[@doublet_inthemorning]

Bro do yall live under rocks. It’s common to still go to a central office or for occasional meetings. Not sure how this is so confusing

[@jameskrueger8674]

Not sure I’ve ever heard a worse take on bidets

[@Missbeach]

To the guy that got left by a terrible woman, every time you think about her and your memories together, your dopamine receptors and other neurotransmitters are firing off as if it’s happening again. You have to cleanse your mind and accept that you can’t control anyone’s actions. Just focus on self evaluation (with massive amounts of grace for yourself) and aim to be a great guy to the next woman. I’m so sorry that happened to you, feminism messed a lot up in this world.

[@anythingonline3524]

Dude on the right high af lol

[@Roland_Duson]

His brother.

[@catnesssss]

Came here to say this 😂

[@joshbisig]

28:08 Guy seems nice. Guarantee you that's not the whole story tho