Blue Alert | Red Dwarf | BBC Studios

Rimmer's a stickler for the rules in an emergency. Space Corps Directive 34124 is not quite what Rimmer believed it to be.
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[@crazyfvck]

"Broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh." That has always been one of my favorite Red Dwarf lines! :D

[@garyz2043]

Ha ha,init. I'm Welsh but can't much understand it either. : }

[@johnking5174]

That was a little in joke by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor the writers, as BBC Two Wales often moved Red Dwarf to a later time slot than the rest of the regions for their own Welsh programming back in the early 1990s.

[@newuk26]

Hilarious line. The likes of Star Trek always had aliens speaking English. I mean in reality they were just as likely to speak Welsh 😂

[@threalMrT76]

@@newuk26 never forget the classic Star Trek Line : You've not experienced Shakespeare until you've heard it in the Original Klingon

[@gbdawson3811]

"Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb"...was crying at this point, so well done.

[@thanqualthehighseer]

and i think of that line every time i hear Red Alert in Star Trek

[@mashpolson1]

"Sir are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb" XD

[@ArcaneAzmadi]

One of the best jokes in the _entire_ series.

[@carolinelynch2823]

Yes it does. ha ha Red Dwarf is so funny 😁

[@mashpolson1]

Here, here my good man!! XD

[@Lord_Skeptic]

mashpolson1 there's always some excuse isn't there

[@bluestar4579]

Oh, how I love this show.

[@Lithrus_]

"Broadcast in all known languages... even Welsh."

[@leokrupp4442]

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

[@TruBeliever4Life]

Leo Krupp needs more phlegm

[@grimdividual]

@@TruBeliever4Life never ask for directions in wales baldric you ll be taking spit out of your hair for a fortnight....

[@Despot-Tyrant]

@@grimdividual I Understand That Reference.

[@herbivorethecarnivore8447]

This one scene defines everything awesome about Red Dwarf.

[@RatelHBadger]

Or the White Hole...

[@judge_dreddpool7593]

​@@RatelHBadger "So what is it?"

[@SpicyDragonWings]

"Kryten sit down! ... I'm not doing my own smegging ironing"

[@MrFullCrumb01]

"Whoever they are, they clearly have a technology far in advance of our own." "So does the Albanian State Washing Machine Company!"

[@RobMacKendrick]

There's one you have to be old to get. I am. I do.

[@thiagodeandrade7081]

The legend of Albania lived in the,far-future.

[@RelwarctheMighty]

"Step up to red alert!" "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb?" It's dialogue like this that make life worth living.

[@TinaThompsonPlayingtheField]

"No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity"--that's got to be one of the best lines of the show!

[@thegrimmretails3777]

You would die of old age before counting them all.

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Damn you both all the way to Hades I want to go to blue alert

[@bobski2200]

Still got the t shirt they done with that on from 30 years ago 😆

[@DanielleKingdjdinosaur]

i would really like to have a copy of the Space Corps Directives

[@TinaThompsonPlayingtheField]

@@DanielleKingdjdinosaurfor real!

[@MegaFafnir]

"My nostril-hairs are vibrating faster than the springs on a Spaniard's honeymoon bed!" Love that part! XD

[@moffxanatos6376]

1:28 Whenever Sisko orders the Defiant to cloak in DS9 (not even joking the stage crew actually had to do that for every bulb on the bridge set)

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

Seriously? With the way that crew worked, I assumed they'd just be using coloured transparencies over white bulbs. Damn you to Hades, now I want to watch some DS9.

[@owkillari]

'Broadcast on all known frequencies in all known languages. Including Welsh.' Cracks me up every time

[@phischphood]

We're adding Welsh language support to our website, every time someone mentions it I can't help but think of this line.

[@Truestory411]

"So excuse me gentlemen while I have a humiliating panic attack under the scanner table" (runs away). Hilarious!!

[@cyberdan42]

This is possibly one of the best 3 minutes of comedy that has ever been on television. So many memorable lines packed into around 200 seconds of genius scripting.

[@MrPicklerwoof]

More laughs, ideas and originality in this 3 minute clip than in entire seasons of most modern comedy shows. I miss the '90s.

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

The 90s was the Golden Age of Chris Morris.

[@1977Futre]

More laughs in a 3 minute clip than the entire Red Dwarf series from about series 5 onwards......

[@tayojones9460]

I saw season 5 and I did not think it was that bad. In my opinion, the series slowly went downhill from series 6.

[@kimifur]

"More laughs in a 3 minute clip than the entire Red Dwarf series from about series 7 onwards......" FITY :D

[@Elysaren]

Rimmer "Open communications channels Lister, broadcast on all known frequencies and in all known languages..... including welsh." LOOOVE that part, especially since I'm welsh! XD

[@Grimster33]

"Kryten, SIT DOWN! I'm not doing me own smegging ironing!" Ahhh Lister, you give us scousers someone to look up to :-)

[@RobMacKendrick]

As a Canadian, it was the black man with John Lennon's accent that first hooked me on this show. (Literally. I was trolling through the cable channels, and then suddenly.... "what the hell...?" So I kept watching for Lister, then the others, then the story... and it's been all down hill from there.)

[@DodderingOldMan]

I concede that series 7 was one of the weaker ones, but it sure had its moments. 'The red, blue and green alert signs are all flashing. What does it mean, Kryten?' 'Either we're under attack, or we're having a disco.'

[@kimifur]

I liked the first 6 eps of series 7. The last two were far weaker, and series 8... well, we don't talk about series 8 in my house!

[@jameswatsonatheistgamer]

@@kimifur The Coronation street one was shite. MR. Flibble agrees.

[@DJ_Maysonic]

@@jameswatsonatheistgamer yeah, series 8 and back to earth were by far my least favourite, it got good again after that though

[@jameswatsonatheistgamer]

@@DJ_Maysonic That last one was crap. Who wants to visit manchester.

[@callinater6133]

Pretty sure this was series 6.

[@wfcyellow]

sir are you absolutely sure? it does mean changing the bulb. is one of the funniest lines to be said on British TV

[@SophisticatedLunatic]

Why do I love Rimmer so much, I really don't know..

[@1977Futre]

I was always under the impression I hated him too. When he left the series I realised he was the best character.

[@1977Futre]

@Prawn Stars I mean before the show turned to crap. I don't count the show as real Red Dwarf post Rimmer's original exit.

[@callinater6133]

1977Futre the show never turned to crap. Even during its ‘dark ages’ (season 7-9) the quality of the show was still good by TV standards. It’s improved from those times too.

[@1977Futre]

@@callinater6133 I beg to differ. When the second writer left it was awful.

[@callinater6133]

1977Futre whatever. But if you ask me, the show has improved a lot as of season 10. You can’t expect a show this old that’s still on the air to be in its prime. The fact that’s it’s still pumping out quality episodes is commendable.

[@peterdefrankrijker]

This is definitely one of the best scenes ever. White Hole, Holoship and Legion contain some of the best written comedy ever to be trusted to our screens.

[@foreignfat6009]

Holoship was meh. Marooned was way better

[@greg_4201]

'''........the lightswitch''"

[@Carlossus]

haha one of my favourite Red Dwarf moments - "Sir, are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb" classic!

[@raynarayskye]

That entire scence is PURE GOLD!!!!

[@educateme8455]

We shan't scence it's like again.

[@Jake-vy2bh]

It says a lot about the current state of British comedy that there are more laughs in this three odd minute clip than whole episodes of some sitcoms nowadays

[@DaveDexterMusic]

What does it say about the state of Red Dwarf that there's whole episodes which don't even approach one gag of this magnitude? Some, I'd say a majority now, of Red Dwarf is pretty fucking flimsy by comparison to the pinnacles reached in series 5 and 6.

[@Mark73]

Don't they use a laugh track?

[@foreignfat6009]

@@DaveDexterMusic 6 is not great, definitely not pinacle! 1-5 was its prime 7 was its downfall.

[@foreignfat6009]

@@Mark73 They used live audience when they could, but if there was some episede which required some added effects. They let people watch it, recorded laugh and then aired it with it. But I dont like laughing in it, it annoys me more than anything. Polymorh episode had some issues because audience wouldnt stop laughing and it was so loud, they couldnt understand each other. I dont know about newest series, but back in the day this is how they did.

[@carlchapman4053]

@@Mark73 Not in the original English version, they had an audience during recording but the laugh track was added for the American audience.

[@LVIIIXLIV]

'we're deader than tank tops !'

[@Shadowkey392]

That show is gold.

[@tyga42]

"including welsh"

[@Komicklepto]

"Sir, may I recommend I load myself into the reverse thrust tubes and you use my body as decoy fodder. This will of course leave me splattered across deep space and unable to complete today's laundry, for which I apologise in advance." Yeah, the bulb line is great, but this is also a great bit too XD

[@Chocolateeee13]

Thumbs up if you love red dwarf! :)

[@worldsboss]

humilliating panic attack under the scanner table omg rofl, you just dont see comedy like this written anymore

[@alanjenkins2203]

Best ever scene in Red Dwarf. So many perfect jokes.

[@joshhutchison6201]

I love how Kryten turns to watch him run, at the end XD

[@joemay2640]

Love when rimmer quotes the space core directive 😂😂😂

[@Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex]

that's my favourite space corps directive

[@strangelee4400]

corps

[@mplum4796]

It does mean changing the bulb! HAHAHHA

[@TheNewDanSoup]

"Broadcast in all known languages... including Welsh." Made my night, that. XD

[@M.I.D.]

Oops! Wrong video. I was looking for "BROWN ALERT". Another great scene!!!

[@fuzzydunlop1]

'Sir are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.'

[@rcevey2]

Kryten, who's actor IS Welsh, looks like he's about to start something at that line.

[@sammyhill69]

He is of Welsh ancestory but was born and bred in England.

[@SuperPoodleboy]

A Welsh name does not, a Welshman, make.

[@Slopmaster]

SuperPoodleboy Besides, I can understand him 🤣

[@carolinelynch2823]

Love this episode of Red Dwarf. CLASSIC!!! And so funny!!!!

[@EditorOfSL]

“I’m not doin’ me own smeggin’ ironin’!” Lol, I love Lister! Also love how the English act like Welsh is the strangest language ever invented! (Not that they’re wrong but it crops up a lot in British sitcoms!)

[@applanateearth586]

Welsh isn't a real language it's just a device to piss the English off!

[@EditorOfSL]

@@applanateearth586 I really hope you’re joking. It’s much older than the English language, and better.

[@flatmoon6359]

Typical remark from someone with one,that's ONE language, I could say it other languages but you WOULDN'T understand, because you only speak 1 language.

[@wishingwell12345]

Welsh is a strange enough language that during WWII, Welsh-speaking soldiers could send radio messages unencrypted and the Germans couldn't understand a word.

[@neilgerace355]

​@@EditorOfSL It's not *much* older. Maybe a couple of centuries: 550 vs 700 AD.

[@MrSwalezee]

"is it possible a mismelling"! lol!

[@timelord1855]

Rimmer really needs to read the space core directives 😂

[@DDay12G]

"Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb." xDD

[@cupidstunt22]

Everything that’s great about Red Dwarf in 3 and a bit minutes!

[@CantwrCymreig]

Speaking of Menai Bridge, somewhere in the Red Dwarf series there's a reference to "the Welsh painter Van Gogogoch."

[@TheIkaraCult]

"Sir, are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb" yes

[@danielwilliamson6180]

0:51 LOL The funniest Space Corps directive.

[@whovianhistorybuff]

Daniel Williamson my favourite was any officer caught sniffing the seats of the exercise bikes in the women's only gym will be dismissed without trial

[@kylestubbs8867]

Daniel Williamson I _need_ to hear the story behind that directive.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

@@kylestubbs8867 You know what oral sex is, right?

[@cupidstunt22]

Amazing writing

[@stevenesbitt3528]

Genius genius genius, series 1 to 6 are amazing

[@RacerE7773]

The smeg ups from this scene were hilarious.

[@theSFCchannel]

'LISTEN UP as its only coming ONCE!..........................WE surrender, totally and unequivocally ..sorry take up your time ever so sorry. sorry bye sorry bye sorry......' 'RIMMER you have a a yellower streak than a herd of camels with diarrhoea!!!'.....that one had me howling with laughter.

[@nai2111]

arguably the best part of dialogue in red dwarf

[@maikenzupancicdanko9377]

"bLOW ALERT"

[@peterburke1709]

Imagine Rimmer in Starfleet neither Kirk or Picard would be able to stand him lol Kryten and data would get on nicely

[@ericstoverink6579]

Everyone talking about the red alert bulb, and here I'm wondering what the hell a Geegook is.

[@rustkarl]

Oh Red Dwarf I love coming back to you.

[@justanotheryoutubechannel]

This is the lowest picture quality I’ve ever seen but I really love this classic scene

[@Hannah_Em]

I have a maths exam in 3 hours. I should be revising - screw that =]

[@revivedfears]

*We're deader than tank tops*

[@lyokianhitchhiker]

Kryten:"Whatever it is, they clearly have a technology way in advance of our own." Lister: "So do the Albanian State Washing Machine Company." ROTFLMAOOLWPIMP!!!

[@christineperkins4451]

That's it....we're deader than tank tops! 🤣🤣🤣

[@DdgeluvinHic]

“Rimmer, you’ve got a yellow streak longer than a stampede of diarrhetic camels!” 😂😂😂

[@brendansunra]

Next time at work, I might just page "all hands on deck, swirly thing alert!"

[@cardinalsfanforever4484]

I'm American, the Welsh thing is kind of funny to me, mainly because of Red Dwarf. I saw it a lot on PBS as a kid, and remember that funny line from it. Broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh. I had no idea for the longest time, why that got a chuckle out of people. Till I got older and saw the language, then it made sense...lol.

[@psychee1]

Rimmer is the Man! :D

[@Komicklepto]

This episode is from Legion isn't it because Rimmer at this point still only has a soft light holodrive?

[@charleshollinshead]

2:00 deader than tank tops. 2019- ahahahahah 2020- you're all dead.

[@simonmillard8931]

Pure genius of a line

[@zoidus6429]

LoL! Classic line.

[@richard1701able]

best line of the series.

[@dannytorquay87]

including welsh ! lmao

[@WilsonTwade]

My nostril hairs are vibrating faster than the springs on a spaniards honeymoon bed!

[@MsMoem]

Classic scene!

[@ignota25]

42,695 welsh people watched this. What? Welsh assembly would love it.

[@mcsonicteam]

lets hope for more space corp directives in series XI. and more things like goalpost head.

[@hakkentosh]

"Kryten, sit down. I'm not doing me own smeggin' ironing."

[@richard1701able]

that's the funniest thing the BBC has every produced!

[@ElveeKaye]

How can Cat smell anything that's out in space?? "Kryten, sit down! I'm not doing me own smeggin' ironing."

[@susanrayner9018]

My absolute favourite Kryton line EVER! Pmsl!

[@Komicklepto]

Well I guess you know more than I do having done a whole dissertation on it. I can only vouch for the 5 weeks I've spent living in Menai Bridge ;)

[@denshi45]

i tried that once, thankfully my teeth grew back.

[@finnmcool2]

You can't fault Rimmer's self awareness.

[@Enzo012]

It would have been much easier to have a white bulb then stick different coloured overlays over it.

[@smeeeheeee]

so true and it kills me that its over

[@Daehawk]

Saw Rimmer today in a Tank Museum video.

[@Ninroo]

love this scene :D

[@cannonball9478]

Sad to see the state of BBC comedy now compared to this back in the day

[@JeffBourke]

this is a memorable scene

[@Katjaneway]

@NodFlareon it's one of the best lines EVER lol

[@omegagilgamesh]

He could simply cease to exist. That basically death.

[@JohnEvansChaoseed]

"INCLUDING Welsh."

[@drwhocrazed]

"Brodcast in all known languages, including welsh." LOL |:>

[@hhJACK92]

D'you think the Welsh gag was something that Barrie threw in on the spot? Llewellyn looked angry about it :P

[@AdrianColley]

Wasn't this the show with the line "the Welsh language has only five consonants, and three of them are L"? It's either Rimmer or Blackadder.

[@Gazzar]

Dislikes were from tank-top wearers.

[@spudhead169]

That's impressive resolution boys.

[@neilgerace355]

3:05 Alexander the Great's chief eunuch, over here

[@Gubalicious]

Including Welsh 😂😂😂

[@animemanXLK]

It might just be me but newer red dwarf just quite capture the comedy like the older episodes.

[@rachelleach1472]

Butt-o-pat head 😂😂😂