BONUS: The Terrible 2s & Mom Guilt

This week it’s all about the guilt - mom guilt, friend guilt, work guilt, saving money guilt, and spending time with parents guilt. Lala also candidly discusses her struggles with Ocean’s “terrible twos” phase.
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[@pambyorth8300]

Lala, kids always act out where they are the safest. You are her safe space. Just know, your child will do great out in the world and always be a little turkey at home… it’s their right. She could be having a hard time with stuff too. I now have 6th and 7th graders and I wish I could talk to you about all the shit I worried about and put them in time outs about and they’re great kids. Honor roll students, kind, they have friends. My working mom guilt is that I show love by packing them the hugest lunches! 😂 It’s so ridiculous but it helps me feel like I’m taking care of them… I have always done it and will always until they refuse the 6 course meals.❤😂

[@ashleyhernandez7204]

Came here to say this!!! I am a mom of a two and a half old too and I’m going through it with you I feel like!!! But I learned that they act out most around the people that make them feel most loved and safe- it’s actual behavior science. You’re doing great mama! Also, raising a two year is rocking my world too.

[@rtcm4198]

Yes all of this!!! They are the worst behaved in their safe spot. I also am a working single mom, and my son rarely saw his dad. It is hard and you are not alone! Give yourself grace. 2 is also a tough age and they are learning the limits.

[@KimShelton-t8p]

Lala, you are doing an incredible job. Ocean is testing the boundaries to see what she can get away with. She will thank you one day for holding her accountable for her behaviour. It’s tough when the co-parent is not on the same page, so just know you are doing an incredible job and raising an insanely awesome human. PS…Easton is an incredible sibling, uncle and son and is going to make someone an amazing partner when he’s ready.

[@TheScrapNDiva]

Lala first I just have to say I have never commented in my life on here. I didn't even know how. Just saying that so you know how much this resonated with me. I felt like I needed to give you a huge thank you shout out. I didn't even know what I was feeling was mom guilt. When you explained how your feeling and what your dealing with it hit home and made me feel not alone and validated my feelings for myself. PS: I know this pop is old as of this date and you might not even see this. I don't watch/listen to pods when the show is airing bc it wrecks spoilers for me but once the show has wrapped up I go back and bing watch/listen to them all. Today is my 1st day back to the pods. So even if you don't see this I wanted to put it out into the universe that I Thank you so much for this!

[@thehouseofmy3516]

❤❤ Lala you’re an amazing mama and woman! You bring authenticity, it’s so refreshing!! Stoked for Vanderpump S11!!

[@tommygirl828]

Hearing your story and guilt struck me. You’re raising a smart and kind kid who is going to spend the next few years exhausting you at times. Know that you aren’t alone and thank you for always sharing your life with us.

[@GettothePoint28]

Oh I feel for LaLa. Single mom here. My daughter is now 15. Raised her on my own. It’s not easy. Mom guilt is very normal & it never goes away once your a mom. Her behavior at her age is also very normal. It’s called the terrible two’s and then the horrible three’s. You will get through it. She’s learning & testing you. Just know you are not alone. ❤

[@libbyd8626]

So relatable! I used to work as a behavior therapist & have 2 young kids. Ocean is def in a phase. As far as consistency goes, kids learn there are different rules at one caregiver’s house vs another. She’s not going to be “broken” (you mention “fixing” things) because you aren’t with the biological father. She gets a better version of you. She’s testing you so consistency on your end is what she’s looking for and what you are giving her. You’re feeling burnt out because parenting is exhausting and U.S. culture really doesn’t support families with young kids. It doesn’t matter if you have money when our culture needs updating. ❤ Best luck, you’ve got this!

[@jennifernielsen3569]

I’m a single mom as well, with a 15 year old, you are the judge, jury, executioner, the bad guy, even though i am the only one he calls, I’m his bank, his taxi etc. You can’t do anything right it feels like, especially when kids say their friends parents are better etc! I spent/spend many evenings crying and questioning myself, many trips to the bathroom to cry, scream in a pillow and regroup to be strong in front of him and be his mother. Kids are assholes, they don’t cherish you until they grow up and see everything you do, sacrifice and the love you give them! But…. Silver lining when my 15 year old tells me he loves me, appreciates me and shares moments with me it makes it all worth it!! Good luck mama… this is the hardest job ON THE PLANET!! ❤❤

[@ambertiegen1632]

What an amazing bonus episode and thanks to Lala for being so raw and vulnerable about how hard parenting is. Easton is also the sweetest brother and friend and had me in tears with all his encouragement and praise for his sister as a mother. One of the best books I ever read about parenting was called Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy. Changed the parenting game for me and now I have guilt still but much less!! Definitely recommend her book specially at the stage it sounds like you’re at.

[@amywendt6722]

Your realness and vulnerability sharing this makes love you even more! Mom to mom, you’ve got this! Literally the hardest job ever. Give yourself grace. It’s okay to be in your emotions. Also, just like us, she’s learning as she goes. So relatable!

[@carrieblack8760]

Guilt is something I suffered with. A year ago, I had a liver transplant, and I am lucky to be here. I can be everything for everyone for a day and then I need the next few days to recoup. If all I can do those days is rest, that is the best I can do. For myself and my loved ones. Then, I can be fully present the next day. I no longer feel guilty about taking that time for me. I know if I don't, I will not be fully present when they do need my full attention. Try to accept that as the norm and there is no reason to feel guilty. ❤

[@itsyourlady]

Lala, girl, you’re a SUPER mom. mom guilt feels like a disease within all of us mummas, i feel you🩷 i look back now and im so mad at myself for being so hard on myself and letting that consume me because all along i should have just been living in the moment as we’re ALL doing the best job possible. A bad mom would never worry about that these things and this is why you’re the amazing mumma you are 🩷

[@michellenicole86]

Easton is a great brother. You have a wonderful support system LaLa, you got this ❤

[@jennifermorrow5953]

Lala, you are doing a fantastic job with Ocean!!! Kids are always harder for their parents. My son is now 7 but when he was in preschool I was terrified the private school (Christian school) was going to call saying he said something vulgar. We did our best not to swear in front of him but it did happen sometimes but he always used it the right way. But we had parent teacher conferences and they teachers gushed about how well he listened, so smart, that he was so helpful and kind to everyone and he was a joy to have in class and wish all the kids acted like him. I was shocked and beyond proud but when I got home I talked to my son and told him the teacher said how well he listened and behaved and asked why he couldn’t do that at home and he replied “ well momma I can only listen and be good at one place” and I said ok fair, glad you picked school and the outside world to act like a good child but give me a run for my money at home. Kids always test the people who they feel safest with, to see how far they can push the boundaries! Keep being the great mom you are!! Ocean is so lucky to have you as a mom! Keep being the bad ass you are, we love you!!!

[@reason998]

Lala, my daughter is 3.5. It does get better. When she was 2.5, I was bawling constantly because I was so frustrated by the things she would do. She would also do things she knew she wasn't supposed to do just to get to me. It is so hard. I promise it gets better. I'm slowly learning that everything is a phase :)

[@Solodolo18]

Love you lala god gonna bring us together soon amen 🙏

[@thahighestgiggler]

I love you lala. Your book made me cry. This made me cry too. So relatable. Hug Easton and Jess for us all! Also your mom and ocean too! Life is wild. ❤we love you all thank you all for sharing 💝

[@ashbash842]

Oh la I'm so sorry your mom guilt is overwhelming in this moment everything you said most of us can vouch we have felt the exact same way. And I just want to say a great quote my grandma told me one time that I have to constantly remind myself. All great mothers question their parenting all the time and that's what makes them a great mother. If you weren't a good mom you wouldn't care this much. I'm so so sorry that your feeling this but I want you to know your truly not alone. ❤

[@JulieMichO]

I’m sitting here in a parking listening to this bawling my eyes out. Lala took everything I had in my head and put it into words. This is exactly how I feel I have a 2 year old son and I feel every single word you said. I’m not a single parent but I am a stay at home. It’s so hard and it’s nice to hear someone experiencing what I feel. Thank you so much for sharing ❤

[@bandgrl92]

Lala you are doing an absolutely incredible job. I am in your same boat I have a 2 year old and mine talks back, hits, bites and I always feel guilty that I have to discipline her. You got this! You are an amazing mom

[@travisometimes3126]

These are my favorite moments when Lala is being completely raw and honest and relatable. We can tell you are such a good mom and you are doing the best you can. I trust your brother and Jess they say you are a good mom and don’t be to hard on yourself. When she’s older Ocean will love you for this

[@justjenn311]

Lala, thank you so much for your vulnerability. I feel so seen and feel everything you are!! I have a 2yr old, work full time from home all while watching my daughter. It is soooo hard and the guilt is sooooooo real! No matter the situation, I think we all feel that guilt and honestly (and I need to remind myself too) you are doing a fantastic job ❤

[@sofia6865]

Lala, you are an absolute angel and Ocean is the luckiest to have you as her mommy. I totally understand how daunting and upsetting it can be while trying to navigate through your baby growing up, but you are doing incredible babes! Her behavioral hiccups around you are just because she is most comfy around you, and you are her safety net. They don't say being a mom is the hardest job there is for nothing. Rest assured, you and Ocean are going to end up as best friends forever just like you and your mom! Also, your brother and bestie are beautiful souls! Love you guys

[@sofiejunk]

I’m right there with you Lala. My girls are 3 & 4 and two’s were actually pretty good for us, but 3 & 4 is intense. My 4 year old acts like an angel everywhere she goes, EXCEPT at home. It’s a constant battle. I know how blessed we are AND IT IS HARD.

[@Lanaplays2000]

Lala, thank you for being real. What you are going through is normal but that what makes you a real mom and what makes you want the best for your child. You're an amazing mom. No parent wants to punish their child, but we do it because we love our children so much and we want what's best for them. Everything will work its self out. Do not stress now on the things that will happen in the future. She is just testing you right now. Keep up the amazing job.

[@raneshastraker8648]

Gurl. Former single mom here. This is so normal one day you will look back on this moment and you will be giving another mom advice. This too will pass. You got this 💕

[@aBaltze]

Thank you so much for your podcast! Love it and I love these new Bonus episodes too! Much love to all of you! 🥰

[@Bryn_G_Mama_of_3]

Sending you big hugs, Lala! 💝 All mamas have mom guilt, and if they try to say otherwise, they’re either lying or not a hands-on mom. Also, it’s true - the terrible 2’s and three-nagers are the absolute worst!! This is coming from a mama of a 7.5 yr old boy, 5.5 (going on 14 😂😅) yr old girl and a 3.5 yr old boy; she is testing her boundaries. And it’s awesome you stand firm with her and uphold a punishment whenever she does something so that she learns. Also, child psychologists say that little ones needs reprimanding, boundaries and tough love (at times) to help them feel safe and loved. You are doing a phenomenal job, and you really do need to give yourself some credit and love for the amazing mama you are. 💜 Also, wish yall would talk about mom guilt more on the pod. I think we mamas could really use the camaraderie, especially on the really tough days.

[@jthreet83]

Hi Lala, I listen to you on Spotify and I could feel your momma heart thru listening to you. Momma guilt is a real thing but you only feel guilty bc your a good mom. If you didn't have mom guilt it's bc you don't care and don't see your kids often. You daughter is at the age where they test you. I always say testy twos and terrible threes. Just wait til she's a teenager, then you will definitely be testing if your parenting right!!! Hugs to you!!

[@maayanmiti]

I feel you girl, lala she and you will get through it together. She feels safe with you that way she is testing your boundaries, we all feel like that. I will get better! You are amazing and thank you for sharing this

[@savannahsolis1517]

Lala, you are a GREAT MOM. Ocean is learning life too. You two are learning together. 🥹🩷 And those little glimpses you get of her outside of the house is a reflection of your parenting. 🫶🏻

[@savannahsolis1517]

And the wisdom from TT. 😭💙 Love this for you.

[@katieb2468]

I did comment via IG just adding that this is normal and we feel your struggles. Now, my son is 15 and he is brought up in a divorced household. Having to work through the discipline co parenting in two households just makes it even more challenging. (He was 6 when we divorced). He's an only child and even through the mom guilt and daily "tiffs" I have with him, he doesn't leave the room without telling me "I love you mom" and goes to his cave and plays video games. LOL! I mean for real we argued going to school drop off then I felt bad and picked him up with a milk shake to say I'm sorry. hahaha he gets in the car and he's like "you felt bad huh?" Damn right I did, i mean you still need to do the shit I explained but I didn't mean to lash out. It's something we will do probably forever but in the end YOU WILL COME OUT ON TOP GIRL! xoxox - Katie

[@nancysmith4886]

Lala, my children are now in their 40s and I have always said, my children are the best AND worst thing that ever happened to me. Parenting is hard, especially at the age Ocean is going thru. It WILL get better, just hang in there. I can tell by listening to you, that you are a great mom! My two are amazing adults who are amazing parents! Just hang on and enjoy all you can.

[@Eat.to.live_JenRDN]

I love the way Easton supports you Lala! Listen to him, he's not wrong! You're an amazing mama! I can only hope I will be a fraction of a mom you are when I finally get a living child to parent.

[@TheresaHutton-yl6ce]

Mom of two grown men (!) now… We were a military family and I did a lot of the parenting on my own for that reason. Some days I felt like everything was going great and other days it was a total shitshow. Kids are a work in progress. Both of our sons are grown into amazing people now and one of them has made me a grandmother. I see him having the same sorts of parenting issues we went thru and I find myself encouraging him that things will get better. Ocean will be fine

[@jennifersoto4010]

I sympathize with you Lala. My 2 year old has been testing all the limits and boundaries and everything does feel like a struggle right now. I keep in mind that all these moments will pass and while hard we will one day look back and miss these little “big kids”

[@xlikewoahhhx]

Mom of 4 with twins that are about to turn two 😅 - I feel you hard. It’s heartbreaking sometimes but there are so many little moments of joy in between the discipline and that is what I latch on to. Thanks for keeping shit 💯, love you girl!

[@brigidlopera9891]

Lala, kids will push your limits. All moms go through this. Questioning are you doing right, are you doing the right things etc. Terrible 2s dont stop at 3 sadly. She's strong willed like her momma! Wipe your tears and KNOW you are a wonderful mom.

[@AlexandriaBlank]

I do not ever comment on videos. This hit me to my core, I do not know you personally. BUT from what I see and what I hear. Mama you are doing your best. I have 6 kids in total. I do have a blended family. With this being said every child has a different personality. My children’s ages range from 8 month old to 18 years old. Not a day goes by without a bump in the road which I am sure you can imagine. I hear I hate you very often. But I hear I love you much more. I was a single mom for 10 years. I have a potty mouth always have. I have never cursed at my children but around them sure I have I try not but it happens. And you know what they have all put me to the test. BUT here is the thing that I was told a long time ago actually from my oldest daughter’s teacher. My daughter would be a hell raiser at home. BUT when out and about and at school she was perfect. I was told that was healthy and normal. Children are supposed to push their boundaries with you.. learn their limits within their home/safe space. Once out in the world they put into practice what you have taught and shown them. So when you say it is not working … well it is!!!! You said when ocean is out in about she is a Gem. That is proof right there you’re doing it … you got this!!! Also you’re not alone.

[@Jacyaegs]

So grateful for this podcast! ❤

[@ashbash842]

Also Easton will be an absolutely amazing father one day. And literally should get a brother and uncle of the year award!

[@madisonmiller5768]

Lala, you are an amazing mama. We can tell just by the way you’re talking about her. And you’re sticking to your boundaries, which is hard but necessary. Have you tried like a sticker chart? Positive reinforcement might make you and her feel better. She could get a sticker for every time she listens to you and then after so many stickers get a celebration. It could be as simple as like a dance party or a sucker. Just an idea ❤ you’re doing incredible, don’t forget it

[@jessicagregory1623]

So late to this podcast oops! I just have to say we as parents always are the hardest on ourselves as if we are never doing a good enough job. Kids are always hardest on their parents because it's who they are most comfortable with. Being a parent is the hardest unpaid job you will ever have! Also just a thought maybe time outs aren't working anymore and there might be some sort of more effective consequences. I find once you think you have everything figured out it all changes! Don't be so hard on yourself you are doing a great job!❤

[@shannonevans-gonzales8931]

Lala you are doing amazing! Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever have. Im going through the same thing with my daughter. Now she lips it she won't say it out loud but I see her saying it. We have strong willed children and that's ok. They will be strong adults. Keep your head up mama!

[@LisaErber-mb1df]

Girl, single mamas, stay strong. I absolutely love listening to your podcast, can relate so much. It brings me laughter. I think you need to watch The Traitors, you will love it! Reality peeps meet challenges with a Clue game vibe. Would love to see you on it. Season two is going now.

[@jessi32717]

Love you Lala thank you for all you do for us women you’re amazing XOXO❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@jolenemowe]

You're doing a great job because she's good when she behaves when she's with others. Don't give up! All mothers who care about RAISING a child to be a contributing adult in society, goes through this. You are a GREAT mom because you CARE!!!

[@TheUnderratedMama]

Lala, I relate so much to the feeling of wanting to just enjoy them and it’s a phase where it’s soooo hard! You love them desperately but it’s exhausting! My 4 yo is this for me. My theory is that they are sooooo smart for their age which makes it’s harder

[@maddykunshier6410]

No expert here, but I am also a mom and previously worked in pediatric mental health… kiddos let it all out in the place that they feel the most safe. It doesn’t mean it’s not hard for you but it may help change your mindset a little to know that’s why she “acts out” with you. She’s not giving you a hard time just for the hell of it. She’s having a hard time herself and needs to release it somehow, someway. It’s developmentally appropriate. Always remember, you are the best parent for your child. Period. Sending lots of love and support🤍

[@christycollins3445]

You are doing your best, give yourself grace ❤ The Whole Brain Child is a great book to help navigate behaviors in a healthy way that is developmentally appropriate, it is one that I go back to when I'm struggling

[@Jessicabravoaddict]

Awww Lala ❤ seeing you cry about Ocean 😢 I have 4 kids oldest is 13 youngest is 6 months. I wish I could tell you it gets easier but I can't 😂 I'm sorry my 10 year old will also still cuss me out too and will push boundaries to not get consequences like that time she told me " I'm just an old lady who got pregnant " I was 35 lala 3 fugging 5 😢😢😢 stay consistent with consequences is the best thing you can do. My daughter is the source of my greeting hairs but she also has the most kindest sweetest heart.

[@swtdi40]

I always feel like I didn't feel enough time with my Mom. However I had a margarita date every other weekend. But I love her and miss her so much since she passed. I don't think I could have ever gotten enough time with her. She was absolutely the best Mom

[@kelliteague2505]

Lala you really are a great mom, don’t cry

[@ginofrancejr555]

Awesome episode this podcast is so good you are an amazing mother and person lala

[@cindyortega5744]

Omg I have a 4yr and 2yr sounds about right lol 😂 thank you for ur honesty I felt that so much ❤ all we can do is our best ..your a sober mom you are a miracle ❤

[@susanrodriguez2850]

You’re fine, Ocean’s fine..your problems with her are normal..the only thing I can say..I have gray hair now I tell my children this is from you..being a parent never ends..❤❤

[@taylorcraft6288]

Easton is gonna be such a great dad! Love his advice.

[@thahighestgiggler]

So relatable!!! Toddlers suck. Now I should homeschool? Ughhh😢 but I know he will never snuggle me the way he does right now...he will never ask my help for the little things....I'm just devastated 😢

[@abbysaviano871]

Girl SAME my daughter stays testing me!! Anytime I change my tone AT ALL she loses it. A friend told me once that it is a child's JOB to push the boundaries to see what they can get away with. They're learning and so are you and please give yourself grace. Being the primary parent is never easy but the fact that she's well behaved polite child means you're doin the damn thang ❤ you're doing amazing!! Never doubt that!

[@leigharmstrong9940]

Buckle up! Girls are tough. Ocean will be a teenager & you’ll miss these easy battles.😂❤💪🏼 You’ll be awesome, LaLa.

[@tinabailey4083]

True life here. Love this podcast🥰

[@ashleighwomer5637]

Duuude if I say it once I’ll say it again. Going through the same thing with my little girl. It’s so amazing that they are so smart but damn if it isn’t also the most frustrating age. She says no all the time and I’m like “where did my little sidekick go that said and did everything I told her to?!”. I also share custody (with a narcissist) and have her majority of the time with my family helping so I get it! We feel bad that like the whole time we have them we are reprimanding them. But I try to tell myself that this too shall pass and the “mean streak” will end. There just testing us and developing their brains more🤞🏼😂 She used to take naps all the time like clock work and now she fights them daily and passes out at the worst times. I gave up for awhile because I was just too tired to fight it, but I started putting on her slower country song and laying with her and she has been falling asleep so much quicker. I could go on and on but just know you’re not alone💜 and it helps me to know someone is living through the same thing at the same time💜 you’ve got this momma!💪🏼💜

[@lynnt5858]

Two is the age of autonomy. Absolutely normal development. Read some books, it’ll help you know you’re succeeding. Sometimes kids suck. Also, role model like crazy right now. Time out doesn’t work for me at all. I address the behavior and move on. It’s fucking HARD work! Also look up equilibrium/ inequalibriam. Six month great, six months tough. Mark your calendar to see if it happens. And yes, be consistent but she’ll know social norms when she gets to school and she may be consequenced. Always support your teachers. ❤

[@alexandriazimmerman]

Lala, there is no right or wrong way. There will be trials and errors. Also, Ocean will grow up and be like man…. My mother is/was amazing even when disciplined. You’re doing great.

[@TeaganTheGamer36-ms9lj]

I’m a mom of five kids… ages 11, 7, 3 and almost 2 year old… you’re doing a fine job, Lala. You care and love your daughter, that’s what matters most. You need to discipline her, or else she’s going to walk all over you. I use to be SO worried about my son starting school too, and he is a joy for his teachers. Don’t worry yourself sick ❤

[@TeaganTheGamer36-ms9lj]

Think of it like this… would you rather discipline your child now and see them sit in time out, or have the law discipline later in life and see your child sit in jail? That’s the way I look at it. It helps a little.

[@KTaylor1521]

Lala, I have always loved your honesty. My gawwwwd girl you are on 100 with this mom guilt. Sometimes I struggle to put that feeling into words, that’s bang on.. you love them so much, and you want to enjoy them, but being a parent be harrrd as a mofo. My kids test my gangster all the time! Also, she’s *your* heathen. Haha

[@cassieselgrade4126]

My three year old was a nightmare but she was an angel in public. ❤ it wonderful and difficult

[@rebeccagregg1453]

Loved this episode!!!

[@klynj526]

I am not a mom, but I have a lot of mom friends and I can tell you the one thing that is common among all of them....they have all said that, at one point, they couldn't stand their child. They loved them...but there was a rough patch where they just couldn't stand them. And that's ok!!!!!! You're human and just because you're a mom doesn't mean everything has to be rainbows and butterflies when it comes to your kid

[@lindatreat]

Keep your eyes on the ultimate goal. Think about what you want for your child: to be successful, to have friends, to be welcomed wherever they go, to be safe and loved. You are raising a child to adulthood, not never ending childhood. You can’t drop the ball for fear of her not liking you. Each age has a job to do in this process. Up to age 2, a baby sees themselves as a part of the parent, not an individual. Two is the year of understanding they are a separate person. If I am a separate person from Mommy, how much can I do and say? Is Mommy my boss? Do I have to do what the big people say? If Mommy says no today, will it always be no? Maybe I should try the behavior again to be sure it’s still no. ( and again, and again). You will be both pleased and disappointed to see testing behavior with you, but not with others. It makes you ask, what’s wrong with me then. Nothing is wrong with you. Your child knows you. She knows how many times you will warn before taking action. She knows the tone of your voice and the sound it makes when it’s really time to behave. She’s got your number. Strangers and acquaintance are unknown quantities and she is unwilling to test them with the behaviors that push you. Remember the goal of the child rearing process is to end up with healthy, socially competent adult, not a bigger version of child. Get ready. 3 should be a good year. Having figured out the boundaries and established that what Mom says goes, and there’s no use revisiting, threes settle into cooperation. 4 is the year of being bigger. Fours want to do big people things and have more power. They want to help. 4 is when super heroes appear. Why? Because they are bigger, and powerful and can do stuff. You can bet it’s a Four when you see the cape , or the super hero logos on everything. My daughter was Wumber Woman for a year. Finally, and this is just me, I think there are a few commands ( yes I said commands) that are a must. They are never negotiable and must, without question be obeyed. They could be life saving . NO. STOP. COME HERE. Picture your child about to run into the street. STOP and COME HERE could save them from the oncoming car. No, is the short hand version of the long explanation you can give later. If what ever they are doing, touching, asking , needs a no, it should not be followed by argument. Once established, you can be across a crowded room, catch their eye and shake your head no and stop unwanted behavior. You’re good mother Layla. I know this because you have a mother’s heart. A heart that longs for the best for your beloved child. You have the strength to let your child not like you temporarily, to gain the growth and self control she needs.

[@angelapate4888]

Oh yeah those "terrible two's" are no joke!! When my son (he's now 10) was 2 & 3 he was on another level!! Im'ma single mother (24/7~ zero help from the "father") and was drained literally on the daily!! Sure I can laugh about it now but to sum those years up.. Whew! I can honestly say no lie, I truly don't know who cried more, my son OR me?!?! It was ALOT! But it'll get better 😊

[@lamblingelser1110]

I didn't get it so much in the terrible twos but maybe she is gonna be better in the next yr or so! When she learns to voice her opinion or put her foot down verbally it is so hard. Every parent goes through this regardless of the circumstances or if the parents aren't together. Mine did it at 3 at it was awful and I felt like at my wits end. But you actually might be getting thru it sooner than I had to! And......it's probably bc she is so smart so be proud of that! And know it WILL get better. They will get easier in ways

[@abigailyoung7266]

A cussing idea for ocean! I saw recently people are teaching their children it’s okay to show emotion and let it out, but if they have to use bad words that they have to go to the bathroom to say them. I thought of you when I watched it! I hope you see this and maybe give it a try with ocean!

[@BrianaRoberts-l3v]

Kids are the worst for their moms because they are the most comfortable and you are the safe space! A true showing how they are is with other people and in public, what you are telling her is sinking in

[@tyoka28randall7]

Girl, I feel you. I'm a single mom of 2 year old twin boys and everything is a battle. I have no1. Not their dad, not my mom. May she rest in peace. No1 and I feel 💯 the same thing. I need a break. I wouldn't know who to leave them with if I wanted to lol I have trust issues and I don't trust anyone lol Easton , you are such a sweet soul. I don't need the twins to have a step daddy so what's up???

[@AshliGoodspeed07]

All moms need breaks from their kids and all kids need breaks from their parents too in my opinion. Also, the 3’s are waaaayyy worse than 2’s. It’s very tough. I have a huge amount of mom guilt and my kids are adults now, my youngest is 18.

[@cynthialauren7995]

You have a soon to be threenager, my baby girl just turned three and she used to be sooo easy, never had a tantrum, nothing like that. Terrible twos wasn’t a thing, then she turned three and it was like I have a whole new child some days. I feel so bad when I lose my patience or raise my voice. It’s hard being a mom. I also have a 20 month old and boy she’s my hell on weeks wild child. Hang in there, we do the best we can.

[@jessforthegirlies]

It's good to remain curious about the root of why O is acting out. Discipline doesn't do anything if you dont help her work through her emotions. Shes just acting out on her big emotions because children at her age can't self regulate. Parents need to teach them how.

[@KTaylor1521]

Jess, sparring Jujitsu is social. Like minded individuals working toward common goal, both helping each other learn and thrive.. I find anyways.. 😊

[@destinymunoz2336]

You are doing a great job, hun and there alot more kids in the world like you describe Ocean, than you think. I myself have one. My youngest is a fricken genius and I have 3 kids, the other 2 were average. So no, I'm not another parent who thinks their kid is "so smart". My youngest was thee roughest. The big words he uses(that I don't use), his ability to comprehend adult situations and conversations, his conductive reasoning skills, all of it. I decided if he wanted to talk to me like an adult, then he gets talked back at like an adult. I give it to him straight. It's hard cuz you gotta be alot tougher on those smarty pants jerks, but it passes. 2 to about 4 years old were rough but he is eight now and way more reasonable. Now, I just find myself saying(after he has just corrected me or solved my grown up problem) " Toby, no body asked you.........but thankyou"😂😂

[@sofia6865]

Please also one day consider selling your mugs shown on the podcast. So chic and they are all gorgeous! I'd buy one in a heartbeat :)

[@bethbloom8780]

Aww babe! You got this I have twins and my husband was in the navy so gone on lots of 2 year deployments so basically a single mom. Worked full-time to. Mom gilt is still a thing 20 Yeats later now that there dad has passed. But the mine thing is your job is to make your kids a good citizen of the world. They will test you to an inch of your sanity. Constantly on yor part is all you can do .

[@OLIVERNolan-pp1rd]

Lala, all kids hate us for a minute and love us for way more. She’s testing to see how far she can push you. Regarding cussing, this will piss some people off, but, I had “cussing time” in my sons room, for 5 minutes a day, he could go in his room with me and cuss, not at me, but getting the words out in a place where he wouldn’t offend anyone, including me. He was told that this is the ONLY place he’s allowed to cuss, so if he was mad at me and couldn’t use normal words, he could go in his room alone and cuss alone then come out and talk about it. He NEVER cussed at anyone after that and never at school . His teachers said he was so polite. Maybe see if that works.

[@OLIVERNolan-pp1rd]

Oops didn’t realize I was on my Dog, Olivers page. Xo Carrie

[@aileen673]

easton is so sweet comforting lala🥹

[@MichelleSanGiorgio]

This is your soft place to fall Lala. Never forget that this too will pass ❤

[@danielledowns4397]

I. Can. Not. Love. Easton. Anymore. Lala, it's all soooo normal. Stay strong Momma ❤❤

[@jennaboshers1900]

Lala, you’re so cute. You have the most amazing village with your family and I’m so happy you’re able to do the damn thing all the time. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal, you would not be normal, if you weren’t feeling quilty about the small things.

[@venagunches4045]

LaLa I love your heart. I get you. You love your family but outside of family got to be tough with all the buttheads! You're a great mom girl everyone says so.

[@noahprobz]

Lala with all due respect I think you’re putting way more pressure and emphasis on your own parenting when in reality you coparent with someone who, no matter what you’re TOLD they’re saying/speaking/acting around ocean, you really don’t know. You can do the heavy lifting and discipline to ocean, she could be getting away with it learning the language and behavior OUTSIDE of your house and for you to blame yourself for that is WILDLY unfair. You work overtime to raise your baby right and you are doing an incredible job but not everything she does that you don’t like is because you of you ❤

[@heathermichelle7261]

I was literally going to comment the same thing!! Very well said ❤

[@Coco5tribe]

You can sign up for Ava behavior therapy for ocean or try like a home daycare that will work with your schedule so she has some structure time it will help her with a schedule and start some picture calendars

[@sandybeebee6511]

She will thank you one day when she is older for not being one of those parents that just let their kids do whatever they want 😉 Any friends I've ever had that had parents that that didn't discipline them, They always said they wished their parents were more strict/ disciplined with them. It shows that you love them and care about them and their future. Because even though at the time They thought it was cool when their parents were letting them do whatever they wanted. They admitted deep down. They thought it was because they didn't really care enough to.

[@elizabethnathan2863]

Oh lala baby I’m so sorry ur feeling this way but they do like to make things hard at this time and the kids want to see how far they can push u. It’s like ok when will mom give in and will she keep sticking to what she says or will mom just let me get away with it. They all go through this 2-3 is the hardest time bc they will push u n then they will be so great. Just hang in there u got this. U are a great mom. So try to work better with ur self doubt I kno it’s hard but just start changing ur talk in ur head with things that she does. Or when ur overwhelmed take a deep breath and then do what u have to do. But that breath will calm u n stop u from getting over whelmed as much.

[@831pintor]

You're not alone Lala, I just cried with you. I feel the same way. I'm doing it all alone. The sperm donor is a dead beat.

[@Cookkie_dalookie]

I always feel bad my kids are 6 and almost 8 they also cuss and push buttons. I always have mom quilt it doesnt really end and no one is a perfect parent.

[@kelwaish]

Oh mate you're doing great, all of us single mothers are. I love my daughter but ffs somedays are shocking and she's 15. Rather have a 2yr old tell me she hates me, than at 15. Its like a knife in the heart. Head up sunshine giving you a big thumbs up. ( i can't see the pic thing )

[@inessiso7733]

Lala. Please don’t stop talking about reunification camps/ one moms battle/ narcissism.

[@venagunches4045]

Your brother like mine golden support!

[@amandathompson109]

Love ya Jess… however kids need 2 parents. Until the shoes have been worn you unfortunately can’t understand the difficult path Lala is travelling down. It’s always going to be hard. I’m speaking from experience I can tell you unfortunately your always going to have guilt. Only because you know your child deserves the world 🌍 they are brought into the world with love and 2 parents ,the guilt will always be with us as their mums because we know they deserve both. Along with the battle of having to make tough choices with discipline due to having to do the discipline then only having yourself to go explain why it happened. Naturally you give your a child a cuddle but a single parent you have just contradicted the discipline you have just given them . however, in a two parent household one parent either or will discipline But the parents have each other‘s back to reinforce why mum or dad made that decision so it’s a balance there’s no balance when you’re a single parent it feels like a pendulum has just come down swinging smacking you constantly in the face. Not sugar coating because my son is 22 and the guilt is REAL.

[@koley7710]

You are supermom. Everyone needs a Easton and Jess.

[@ldybugz4911]

My kiddo was the same exact way. She tested EVER SINGLE limit with me. Pushed me to the brink every day. She didn't respond to time outs, etc.... What worked for us was reinforcing expectations and a reward chart for good behavior. We acknowledged good behaviors and then brought her to the chart so she could put her smiley face or star sticker on it. Her confidence increased, and she became motivated to be better behaved. We still have our bad days, but we also have our good days, which help balance it out. Best of luck to you :) You totally have this!