Bootleg Star Wars Figures | Ashens

Way back around 2001 I bought some fake Star Wars figures from Poundland. Now they're on the internet, stinking up your bandwidth like an off-colour Chewbacca. Because that's literally what one of them is.
Standing twice as tall as a real figure and featuring blatantly stolen artwork, the exciting figures from the Galaxy Empire range help you re-enact famous scenes from Star Wars in the wrong colour! And don't even ask about Han Solo. Terrifying.
Next up is a pair of fake Darth Vaders which make screeching and banging noises that seem to go on forever. I was genuinely slightly hurt reviewing these, which is always a hit with the audience.
Finally I segue into a Metal Ball Warrior by way of Micronauts and magnets. What's a Metal Ball Warrior? Exactly what it sounds like, disappointingly.

[@666Silson]

They should do a Toy Story movie where Buzz finds these mentally ill, deeply disturbed rip off toys, who are really insecure about the fact they're rip off toys.

[@KazakhV3]

FOR THE CONFEDERACY! 4

[@chickinglicking]

Brilliant idea! HONESTLY BRILLIANT!

[@dooshkid]

Wow... I would pay to see that movie. That's saying something.

[@666Silson]

YorkshireForever101 Thanks!

[@666Silson]

chickinglicking Thank you :D

[@Dreadjaws]

*2011 Ashens* - leaves figures in the package, just in case he can sell them later. *2018 Ashens* - rips the package to shreds and then maybe even burns the figures.

[@blackknight94]

Dreadjaws 2018 : what a waste of money

[@RSP04]

2018: Oh no! My resale value has gone through the floor!

[@OldManTheseDays]

Ironically, the lightsaber thing on the alien terminators figure looks better than anything similar on the modern, licensed Star Wars toys.

[@jaimayy]

UncleDeluxe true lol

[@jack1ofdkind]

12:12 The Empire strikes back

[@Selzor]

Jack Koo ha

[@volta2652]

Flingflong McGinty is my favorite Star Wars Expanded Universe character.

[@steve1978ger]

Flingflong McGinty, I love that guy!

[@MathewHaswell]

Any relation to Fuckwit McGinty, star of Crap Comics?

[@robcobb2693]

Make a great KZbin name

[@frayedsanity29]

The other day, i saw an awesome article in some website, it was bootleg star wars figures with different names. For example: darth Maul became "Dennis" and Palpatine became "glourious star lord.

[@voltar1349]

He has done one with the dennis figure.

[@frayedsanity29]

How's the video called?

[@AgentTasmania]

+Daniel Santos (DanielSantosGaming) "Fake Star Wars Toys". Quite recent. Sadly all the names are missing. We don't get to see Little Girl, What, The Emperor Daft Serious or Toby One Kenobi.

[@riverstyx928]

Dennis the Phantom menace

[@lukemarshall1475]

These aren't the toys you're looking for.

[@meich10]

move along

[@neilwilson5785]

@@meich10 no U

[@Shiratto]

These aren’t the toys I’m looking for.

[@blackknight94]

Daddy your not even trying!!!!

[@smb-c3po]

They are.

[@SmolPotatowo]

'I got these 10 years ago before KZbin was even around." *checks upload date* Goddamn son that's now almost 20 years ago.

[@TheHutchy01]

It's an odd thought that Doctor Ashen celebrated 15 years this February and KZbin was founded almost exactly a year before he started his channel.

[@smb-c3po]

@@TheHutchy01 What is he even a doctor of?

[@TheHutchy01]

@@smb-c3po Psychology.

[@smb-c3po]

@@TheHutchy01 Has he ever brought it again since and is he still a doctor?

[@TheHutchy01]

@@smb-c3po It very rarely comes up as a thing, and he's never been a practicing doctor so he'll always have a PhD.

[@JustinHallPlus]

Han Solo, played by Henry Winkler.

[@pferreira1983]

+Justin Hall That Han Solo action figure makes me laugh so much.

[@TheBokkelul]

Notvader: "Luke, I am your uncle." *wooobweebweebweebwebweebbeebbeebbeebbeebwoobwooob*

[@aidanbuechler4493]

TheBokkelul im sorry I died lol🤣

[@moviereviews541]

LOL

[@apexgaming5572]

If there ever will be a toy revolution, ashens' house would be the HQ

[@ChickenPika]

I like the smiling polar bear with a bowtie you see when you look at the storm trooper upside down.

[@nightshadow7436]

*click* Noice

[@ByakurenEnjoyer]

+Dan - KeyGaming fuck ytps.

[@loganpalmer7132]

Lol

[@meich10]

Wait.....ok I see it now

[@andymadden8183]

It's creepy.

[@Pengwonfu]

Han Solo looked like Marty Mc Fly xD

[@ilovecats4949]

I never thought I'd ever read that in my life.

[@charliesmith8829]

Why was darth Vader (sorry about spellings) purple !!

[@ricardolouage1662]

Yeah, now that you say so.

[@mrbwabbers4999]

+alex m Fuck off

[@mrbwabbers4999]

+alex m Fuck off

[@LibraGamesUnlimited]

That second not Darth Vader really needs a sign that says "Please don't push that button again". :)

[@MrMegatony73]

I think you are the champion of the internet. 1 million plus subscribers from making funny videos set in front of your couch? Yes, you are the champion.

[@DarthPerkins]

"I wish I could find the black one" ...most often used phrase in the Kardashian household.

[@cuckerinokripperino4216]

And your moms bedroom

[@thRegimentofFootThethRifles]

Lee Perkins j

[@FIRSTNAMELASTNAME-zt4kf]

I mean your not wrong.

[@notsoalex]

12:14 *PRICELESS REACTION* I mean is beautiful (sorry Stuart). Great video I'd say.

[@fraggeddabloons5679]

You make me wish we had a "Poundland" in the states.

[@meddle98]

Have you never seen dollar tree

[@fraggeddabloons5679]

Ghengis Juan The Dollar Tree doesn't even come close to the gems he finds.

[@meddle98]

FraggedDabloons true

[@TheChickenjoe10]

FraggedDabloons It's not like Poundland is some magical crap treasure chest; All he does is grab some particularly crap looking products and shows them here. Go to any dollar store and do the same.

[@fraggeddabloons5679]

***** Dollar Tree isn't as cool though.

[@armando3699]

It's hard to believe I started watching Ashens almost four years ago.

[@upyoursdotcom]

Still watching?

[@thomaslangley967]

5:19----Two peas from the same pod, Yes we are! Or have I read too much fiction?....Lyrics from the song Summertime by The Sundays!

[@talonicewind3523]

Thank you!

[@FIRSTNAMELASTNAME-zt4kf]

Thomas seriously nice image. can i get a wooaahhh Bundy.

[@imaderobotsoccerteam]

""Two peas from the same pod, yes we are!" Or have I read too much fiction?

[@Bloody-f3o]

robot chicken should use some of these for skits

[@tyspyranger]

Wow, I seriously paused at the exact moment that the "two peas from the same pod" title card comes up. I had to play the video at half its normal speed to read it the first time.

[@OptimusSledge]

Kids today won't remember a time when Greedo shooting first was the worst thing anyone had ever done to Star Wars. Before the dark times. Before the Abrams.

[@theaegis5795]

Caught that little flashed text! two peas from the same pod, yes we are! or have i read too much fiction?

[@spoonman6256]

I happen to own the original Darth Vader figure that the fake one's mold was ripped off of. Even with the right colours, it looks weird. Edit: I found out why. It's because of the ridiculous proportions of the 1995 figures.

[@spoonman6256]

+alex m Nope. You are not a cat. You are a human.

[@spoonman6256]

+alex m *meow not moew

[@spoonman6256]

alex m owof

[@spoonman6256]

***** I AGREE DESTROY IT WITH FIRE

[@spoonman6256]

DELETE, DESTROY, EXTERRRRMINATE

[@iana6713]

Oh dear lord these are priceless. I do remember seeing a horrific Darth Vader rip-off in Poundworld before it closed down and even your average 5 year old would notice the sheer cack-ness...

[@No1.OriginalTrilogyStarWarsFan]

Never get tired of watching this video.

[@fritzy8318]

*tired of

[@ShamankingZuty]

Your description of Han shooting first was amazing!

[@No1.OriginalTrilogyStarWarsFan]

Remember seeing some of these in beach front shops back in the late 90's.

[@bambodaviesalfons8557]

'Han solo fell from a tree, in his cheap package, han solo fell from the tree, now he's got brain damage'

[@zerofyrepony]

"Two Peas from the same pod, yes we are! Or have I read to much fiction?"

[@mindbend13]

15:20 OH MY GOSH! I had one of those when I was little and absolutely loved it! I used to always make the different toys in the set fight in tournaments and mix and match pieces!

[@Featuring_Dinty_From_Beef_Stew]

Kinda sad considering how all of these toys are better than The Last Jedi.

[@ronaldpaterni5081]

I saw those Alien Terminators (renamed "Space Robots" or "Space Knights" or something), in the last days of Toys'R'Us. Yes, exactly, I started thinking Force Commander/Baron Karza. I had Micronauts when I was little.

[@smb-c3po]

Toy Story 4 should've kept in that scene where Buzz meets those bootleg toys.

[@BotKidSmoke]

what ashens doesn't know about those figures is those are special costumes unlocked by completing achievements :D

[@Bradamir]

On what..?

[@silentsand9]

Bradley B The movies.

[@BotKidSmoke]

Bradley B the characters 0:

[@BotKidSmoke]

Silentsand9 maybeh :p

[@Bradamir]

What game?

[@NickBartolo]

Han looks like a google eyed Henry Winkler. Heeeeeeey!

[@pillowhacker]

The lightsaber effect on the knock off Darth Vader figure is actually pretty cool!

[@xantheinmidget]

Rajani!!!!!!! Of my favourite shops in my home town of Bristol. Yes, plenty of knock off toys, but huge warehouse containing almost everything you could need.

[@dylanb1409]

5:20 it says "two peas from the same pod, yes we are! or have I read too much fiction"

[@starsiegeplayer]

I just realized... Baron Karza was Jeeg with a new head!

[@natsume-hime2473]

They both are, made made with almost all of the same molds, even with the same magnet connection joints. They're also crap compared to the old Kotetsu Jeeg figures.

[@toddnolastname4485]

When you showed the black and white knights, my mind went directly to Micronauts and Baron Karza and Force Commander (had to wikipedia that). I hear somebody, maybe Bay, is doing a movie (series) featuring a bunch of old toys, including the Micronauts. I hope it brings back the toys; I'll be investing in the whole line (but taking them out of the boxes).

[@danvondrasek]

They dont usually do remoulds, what they do is buy the masters when the factories no longer require them. Theres usually a tree of moulds, about 9 or 10 or so going at a time, of each character.

[@cholota17]

if you look at the storm troopers face upsidedown it looks like a bear face

[@BrandonNielsen87]

It actually does! Weird...

[@ColonelPenguin]

It is Sheriff John Bunnell

[@bentramer682]

Back when all you had to worry about Star Wars was the re releases.

[@SnowmanZit]

That derpy Han Solo cracked me up!

[@tenk2001]

what is that decent loking magnetic warrior he shows briefly in between talking about micronauts and metal ball warrior?

[@weaver7811]

I would really like to know that too..

[@someitguy2175]

Found my new ringtone... :-)

[@alex.thedeadite]

I watched that bit where you got blinded over and over again! that was hilarious

[@EdgyShooter]

I mean the light saber actually seems better than some of the official merchandise 😂

[@IanC14]

Still better than The Last Jedi

[@fucheduck]

Han may also be checked for a Blaster license registration in future installments of George Lucas Edits. Starring Justin Bieber as Han Solo getting a license va three week waiting period to buy a blaster to shoot Greedo(in self defense).

[@CAMZAB]

Well done on getting these way back. Cool set.

[@godslaughter]

This Han Solo figure looks kinda like what my grandpa used to look like when he was in his 50s or so

[@Skex187]

why does it say "two peas from the same pod, yes we are! or have i read too much fiction?" at the 5:19 two 5:20 frame?

[@shelbymustang1994jd]

i made that my mission to read the black screen lol to much time on my hands

[@Kenkire]

I did too... hahahahaha

[@gam4rnay]

kenkire What did it say?

[@Kenkire]

gam3rnay Two peas from the same pod, yes we are! Or have I read too much fiction?

[@arricammarques1955]

Han figure expression says it all, really! LOL

[@ilikethecokev2]

15:02 Dr. Nick: Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McCraig! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!

[@Ozone947]

What was that knight magnet toy he showed as an example?

[@yolsil775]

Tybalt your profile picture is adorable.

[@Ninetails2000]

Why does Darth Vader have a KZbin Poop as his sound effect file!?

[@pferreira1983]

+Ninetails2000 They stole the effect from this action figure.

[@ByakurenEnjoyer]

i said fuck ytps!

[@darthnihilus9964]

+alex m Stop commenting meow everywhere.

[@darthnihilus9964]

+alex m Because this displeases lord Vader.

[@jans452]

Ninetails2000 VADRE

[@brianartillery]

"Shadows Of The Empire' was everything except a movie. A novel: Action figures: Comic series, and associate graphic novels: A pop-up book: An 'Art of' book: Trading cards: Video games: Micro machines models, and a beautiful soundtrack album. Yeah, got all of them. It fills in the gap between the end of 'The Empire Strikes Back', and the start of 'Return Of The Jedi'. Probably more interesting than the current Disney shit that masquerades as Star Wars these days.

[@No1.OriginalTrilogyStarWarsFan]

LOL Your videos are so funny Stu keep up the good work.

[@masonnogavich7235]

what was the name of the dubstep at the end?

[@Bcp123]

Ur mumma

[@thebigstonicfonic]

Lowl 12:14

[@ColdestSubZero]

Ikr I didnt expect that

[@billylipka3725]

Wow ashens I believe that THAT right there is the definition of the phrase "IRONY". Funny isn't it how he always makes jokes about lights burning out children retinas, then it actually happens to him.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

actually no, because it isn't contrary to what he says. it just kinda proves his point.

[@RealRedRabbit]

That's the most jacked stormtrooper I've ever seen.

[@zacotb]

Wrong, Shadows of the Empire for the N64 was fucking amazing.

[@Zfan247]

The novel was great too :D

[@vonSarno]

agreed it was great fun

[@inquisitivebeyblade8598]

OTBWY Well, the aiming was pretty shot and some levels/ bosses were stupidly hard, like the fight with IG-88 because he blends in with the environment, but the dogfights (like the beginning) were the shit.

[@user-ok8yq6nc6x]

Well it was alright

[@scallysnix.2975]

OTBWY Wrong.

[@PlutoProtogen]

yes, i think you have read too much fiction...

[@valynekrinuz313]

Just saying, there was a White Darth Vader. It was part of a spin-off sequel comic where he was revived with a remodeled suit and pretty much became a Sith-Defect. I never read it that much but that's what I remember from it.

[@salamander333]

Thanks for helping me lose weight Dr. Ashens. Your videos help me get through my 30 minutes on the treadmill

[@Cade_The_Squirrel]

are you kidding me??? Shadows of the Empire the game was freaking awesome!!! :D

[@GothB_tch]

actually, Darth Vadar doesn't say "Luke, I am your father." He says "No, I am your father." Then Luke says "No, that's impossible." I am kind of obsessed with Star Wars.... And Frozen... WHAT IS LIFE :'( o.o

[@MarlonBitoy]

Just **sunglasses** let it go. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

[@Spike-Prime]

MarlonBitoy ... Is "let it go" a semi-clever reference to something? If not, then that doesn't work, really.

[@MariaIsabellaZNN]

Probably when Luke is hanging on to that thing in cloud-city and then falls when Vader cuts off his hand or something? That's the best I can do and even then it's probably not even quite semi-clever.. :)

[@MarlonBitoy]

Spike Prime Oh my gosh. The whole point of "Sunglasses" is to make a stupid pun.

[@Spike-Prime]

MarlonBitoy Yeah, the CSI "YAAAAAAAA" bit I get, but the actual pun just kinda falls flat unless there's some reference I'm not getting. Only thing I can think of is Indiana Jones, but that's got nothing to do with Star Wars.

[@milbo007]

Ashens, the only youtube channel where the videos are exactly the same no matter how old or new they are!

[@centipede167]

GALAXY EMPIRE! I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE OF THOSE IN YEARS AND YEARS!

[@DyingToLive310]

So... you have the original Star Wars figures from 1977 (the valuable ones) and you don't mind taking them out of the package, ripping their heads and limbs off but when it comes to the cheap knock off ones you don't even dare take them out of their packaging. Are you mental? You couldn't sell those knock offs for half the price they cost. The set from 1977 goes for $2,000 and out of their package they still go for $900.

[@frankthepug3103]

Haven't you seen Quest for the games child, Ashens doesn't give a shit about items of value

[@SirBazzy]

Well there's usually the fact that most people who have them still, had them as kids. Meaning they played with them, as kids, and they have survived this long. That's usually why they are out of the package.

[@ultra-vivi]

Most loose Star Wars figures from the Kenner days can be had for about 2 or 3 bucks on ebay. They're everywhere. These are not.

[@TheChiperSdre34]

Most of those old Star Wars figures are worthless since they've been well-loved and played with all these years. Bullshit, that other guy's collection of loose figures probably isn't worth $100, let alone 500 grand.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

also, since the advent of e-bay, people found out there were many more out there than what was once thought. they aren't that rare.

[@jetcore4598]

I liked the Star Wars prequels

[@reeseburns8864]

Same here, episode III is my favourite movie, actually.

[@awakenedape1052]

That's because you're a child.

[@samuellawrencesbookclub8250]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[@FIRSTNAMELASTNAME-zt4kf]

I agree. two and three werent bad at all the first one was shit but you gotta admit liam neeson and earth maul were pretty neat. Plus they spinned off alot of pretty good cartoons. Jeez never thought I'd defend the first one at my age.

[@XthegreatwhyX]

Yes! The magnetic Micronauts were my favorite toys as a kid.

[@morelhunter3966]

They say George Lucas was planning on inserting a scene where Han debates with Jabba the Hut for commonsense Blaster control reform laws. The best part was his 3 minute monologue in iambic pentameter where he looks directly in the camera and a single tear falls slowly down his face.

[@jaydencollier4944]

who came from ashens Latest video?

[@Duncanon]

Ok

[@StephenFasciani]

Ok

[@CognitiveSlug]

Ok

[@jaydencollier4944]

Ok

[@jakespacepiratee3740]

Ok

[@kanothe187]

I found money in a bush as a kid then ran round to More Store to spend it and got most of the Galactic Empire figures

[@riverstyx928]

Holy shit, I finally found Star Wars video without Alec. Now I can rest in peace...

[@LibraGamesUnlimited]

Han Solo looks more like a very confused Eric Estrada. :)

[@travosk8668]

I love how there are gunshots coming out of Darth Vader.

[@TheBorderGeek]

Han's eyes look like yours at the end of your intro. 😂😉

[@bdavis24fan]

Fling Flong McGinty: that's the movie I want dammit.

[@Legoguylol4ever]

The Han Solo and Light Up It's-not-Darth Vader made me take a laughing break. :D LOLOLOL

[@Spoomis]

I'm giving you a like just for the "Robert Fett" line.

[@broken1394]

I have that Boba - I love it. I'd love that Solo. Wow - that vader is great!! Some of the 80's bootleg figures were super cool as well.

[@KennieFitz]

I spent a few minutes of my life listening to Ashens say "Umm" at .25 speed to read this: Two peas from the same pod, yes we are! Or have I read too much fiction? Then I watched more at a slow speed and it was hilarious. He sounded like he was strung out on some strange combo of alcohol and depressants.

[@_Ten_]

When you showed the black magnet toy at 14:30 i thought of this old toy i had when i was young. I was surprise to see that you had it at 15:20. I remember having the whole set :D

[@MONSTERxFULL]

These vids never get boring

[@Metaknight4569]

"Two peas from the same pod, yes we are!" Or have I read too much fiction? -Ashens secret message

[@MundaneGames123]

I used to have a bunch of dinosaurs with all the pieces connected to magnets and I spent hours changing out the heads, tails, and limbs on the things.

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

‘Metal ball warrior’... ::snickers inappropriately:: 😆

[@Esvald]

That Galaxy Empire Vader looks like he's made out of chocolate XD

[@fRo0tLo0p]

The Han Solo part made me laugh so hard I actually had to run to the bathroom to avoid an accident.

[@Aylward005]

after the 2017 Oscar gaffe, all i could think of was Ashens saying "Herp and Derp"

[@wolliveryoutube]

The LED Vader looks like a techno version of that old Anglo-Saxon helmet they found a while ago, you know, the one they show in all the books.