Borderline Red Flags

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[@libertycan6959]

They destroy your desire to do anything

[@DelFlo]

Sometimes I still have dreams about her, making up with her, making out with her, and so on.. It’s hard to keep realising how broken they are, how little they actually cared about you, when the good times were so good.. Somewhere deep down I feel ashamed and humiliated that I let this happen to myself

[@MikeJackson690]

I feel shame and humiliation, too. We're good people, we have to remember that.

[@JaskiratSGrewal]

Me too. You’re not alone.

[@JeskaJane.]

Me too. But I still would rather be easy prey than to be an evil predator.

[@Vapourwear]

I am an attorney, and the surest tell of crazy is “I’ve been to eight (or four or six or 12…) lawyers, and all of them never did anything but take my money…”

[@michaelking4578]

Borderlines will discard you when you stop letting them cross boundaries. The female borderlines I've known want a masculine leader kind of guy but when you are a leader in the relationship and set boundaries and hold them accountable for breaking those boundaries will eventually discard and bounce. A good strategy to get out of a relationship with a borderline female is to set boundaries and each time she breaks the boundary point it out and tell her that isn't going to fly in this relationship. It won't be long before the discard happens. Get her to decide she doesn't want you anymore and then you can more easily escape. The longer you stay the more likely she'll tell lies about you and even make false claims of sexual assault and domestic violence. She can get you arrested without any real proof and you could be very screwed. If you dump her you will have to deal with her rage and vengeful responses which could also land you in jail, unemployed, and with a lot more financial expenses. If they discard you and decide they are no longer attracted to you then you can consider that a gift from God. Either way it is a hellish experience to get out of a long term relationship with a female borderline from what I understand and have experienced.

[@daviddemars]

Absolutely. Boundaries are how you protect yourself and toxic people hate them.

[@heatherhall3452]

Once you set boundaries and hold them accountable- you are labeled as controlling 😂🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

[@fifthwavefeminism]

And these are *just* the red flags. The real roller coaster comes when you move in together. And the fact that people do despite these red flags, goes to show you how incredibly persuasive they are. I often wonder if the classical stories of the beautiful sirens at sea were inspired by women that had BPD. I'm telling you, men are ill equipped to resist the siren song of a BPD woman that is attractive. Once she has her tractor beam on you, you're a gonner.

[@jacobsmith1105]

Be advised multiple hostiles are in the AO 😂

[@daviddemars]

I've had similar questions. They are influential and we are vulnerable to it.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

The crazy thing about borderlines is that sometimes they can seem stable. They can actually fake it for a stretch of time if motivated enough and if you're into them, it gives you hope that the times of instability were just a fluke or maybe that they're the small down periods in long stretches of up periods with them. It's usually not the case. They learn to hide their real behaviors because they know normal people won't tolerate their instability for long.

[@user-ek7lj5qf6z]

They're even jealous of your Pets,subtle occasional insults, don't have any friends of their own,will have fights with every single one of your friends if u intoduce them,u always start to feel drained and eventually become emotionally reactive ohh and u just know something wasn't right from the beginning u always know

[@AnitaPast-nr9uv]

I wouldn’t put all “borderlines” in the same boat. I had BPD since I was 5 years old and it is due to trauma. I didn’t have a problem with jealousy anymore than a “normal” person might feel jealous for a moment because you’re human. It’s not fair to generalize. It’s like saying all blondes are dumb. It’s simply not true.

[@GIGADEV690]

Describes me maybe I am the bad guy 😂😂😅

[@janethomas78]

Also- psychopaths SEE YOU, Narcissists DO NOT

[@r.bishop1127]

Big problem w BPDs, initially they make you feel amazing. Adored, loved, cherished. I had some of the best conversations w my BPD. We laughed, mundane things were even exciting. I never felt uninterested. Sex was incredible. In 7 months, I didn't meet any of his friends. Yes he was clingy. Text non stop. Always came over. At the time he Said he had time for work, his kids and relationship. Makes sense because we are older. HE claimed his kids were the most important thing to him. Turned out that was horse shit. He definitely wanted to monopolize all my time. If you try to slow them down it will implode. He is a cheater. Cheated on me. Idk how he had time for that but he did. His finances are a disaster. Very disheveled in most aspects of his life. Including hygiene. He let that go by 5 months. Relationships w his family are a nightmare. Substance abuse. I could go on and on. Can't see his kids unsupervised. Sadistic. Childlike behavior. Didn't file taxes for 6 years. Backstabs everyone. Steals. Ok I'm done commenting. I could go on forever. I stopped commenting half way through. You've pretty much nailed all the flags.

[@andrewsmith3257]

What's sad is he'll probably just go down for the taxes 😅

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Intense emotions at the start of the relationship are usually a good indicator that something is wrong though.

[@r.bishop1127]

@andrewsmith3257 his ex w the kids is reporting him. Haha I gained 3 new friends because of his exes. Crazy.

[@r.bishop1127]

@Liz-wz8dh look into BPD idealizing. He did but it wasn't like a typical cluster B or NPD. It wasn't over the top. It was sweet and seemed genuine. They mirror tf out of people.

[@heatherhall3452]

@@andrewsmith3257No seriously he will have a finely tuned skill at talking himself out of these rules [they don’t follow rules] he will have long elaborate dramatic - even life long stories and hopelessness victimhood tales , that the person on the other end of the phone will bend over backwards to reduce the amount owing down to next to nothing [ feeling sorry for him] if not wiping out the debt all together, just to get rid of dealing with him 🚩 I’ve seen it being done countless times. They are master manipulators 🏆🥇🎭

[@caireengraham]

Jeez, most of my family is like this. Being raised by these types and growing up around family like this, made me think everyone was like this and that it was the way people were. I am so grateful for my curiosity and creativity for helping me heal. Grateful for you

[@daviddemars]

Thank you, I think its called conditioning.

[@kimwells7245]

60% of this sounds like my ex-Borderline & 40% of this sounds like me LOL

[@nic867]

This.

[@daviddemars]

Lol

[@kimwells7245]

This is the best and most informative video I've seen about BPD traits & red flags. Very helpful.

[@Gorgeous69R]

Yes I agree👍🏼

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Kim!

[@JenniferJacobsen3-Me]

You can't have watched many then.

[@kimwells7245]

@@JenniferJacobsen3-Me I hope you get help for your BPD. There are many trained therapists who can help you.

[@oh2887]

Great list so on point. If I may, one red flag I noticed was that they get angry if you get the flu.

[@daviddemars]

Lol sad but true.

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

Yes! I wasn't allowed to be sick or tired. And somehow he missed every one of my birthdays because he was pissed over something while I celebrated him like a king on his birthdays 😂 He had conditioned me that anything other than an expensive birthday celebration meant I didn't love him. Yes I fell for it every year and forgot that he never celebrated me and even treated me worse by staying away “my” day altogether. 😅

[@Liz-wz8dh]

I definitely catch more red flags now but the more you start to notice them...the more you realize you probably shouldn't be around MOST people. Lol. That one about catching how they make you feel is a huge, huge one. It seems so simple but if you're used to ignoring your feelings or giving people the benefit of the doubt, you don't always know what you're feeling around someone. Also the adding up of red flags is a huge point. I have learned over the years that more than about two big red flags equals a serious problem with that person.

[@daviddemars]

Hi Liz! I think so too. I really don't do any of these things so I dont see why I would tolerate any of them in others.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

@@daviddemars You may just have a higher EQ than other people and that's why you're a life coach. I find that the biggest indicator that I need to avoid someone is if they have a controlling personality. I feel like that's the foundation of a lot of mental health issues as well and so I am more careful now to screen those people out of my life earlier. It just sucks because it's really made me pull back on being friendly with new people because it's actually such a common problem.

[@heatherhall3452]

I agree 💯 % if I knew that red flag 🚩 ‘watch how they make you feel’ in the beginning, they wouldn’t have made it past the first week.. but in saying that, I have learned and grown so much knowledge and awareness from the lived horrors; about the WORLD and the people in it, that has literally nearly cost me my life, but ultimately saved my life, and more importantly my soul ✝️🙏🏽💗📖 🛐

[@jimsteele4511]

She was engaged to someone else the entire we were dating and I found out. We were together for two years. I thought she was the sweet perfect girl who just needed guidance in life. I am completely devastated right now and currently in no contact. Everyday is an uphill battle

[@Jackmcars12]

My covert malignant narcissist ex with Borderline lied and was engaged, then married her within days of my birthday to deliberately punish & hurt me.

[@michaelsanchez8457]

Sleeping with other people.

[@timmywitty1432]

Loved it! You are funny, made me laugh several times and right on the mark!

[@daviddemars]

Thank you very much!

[@RelRodriguez-he1ll]

Hi David, healing family from California!! Spot on, once again!! Ohhh boy my ex undiagnosed fiancé had all these red flags and much much more. A famous line was “I was just kidding”, and to me it became Normal after soo many years that I was not detecting all these warnings. Ohhh boy like I said he is undiagnosed and has alllll of these red flags and many more. That is why i diagnosed him myself (lol) after sooo many many months of researching all his red flags and mainly all ur videos. Best coach here!! Thank u!!!

[@daviddemars]

I know this hurts but you are funny. Thank you and I hope you're feeling better.

[@nickm208]

Last year I had intimacy with a borderline when it was literally my first time.. and she knew that. Ended up being a 1 night stand but that’s not what I signed up for. I was convinced there was more.. Even after. Until she discarded me out of no where for someone else.. abruptly. Honestly, She’s not 100% to blame since I gave into it as well but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s damaging. Doubt I’ll ever forget it. I think I’m stuck in denial of who I thought she was because of how sweet she seemed before she left tbh. Relatable topics for sure.

[@daviddemars]

I'm really sorry Nick. Forgive yourself, make yourself feel better. Learn from this and know how to not let this happen again. If you want long term relationships then don't go so fast.

[@heatherhall3452]

Thank~God you were discarded and protected from the horrors that were before you! What a Blessing!! 🙏🏽 Her name is probably Jezebel, look that up FYI

[@rednose1966]

I can identify with your comment however I am on the opposite end of the conversation. Yes I had a woman come into my life that has emotional issues along with other mental issues. That brought me to this channel while we were living together. Thankfully she left my home. Now I am looking at myself and I can say that I was a guy that did not think much of the obligation of marriage from the time I was a child. I would rather have the sound of country music, pool balls knocking around with a beer in my hand rather than a cranky wife with a honey do list for me to be sweating doing manual labor in the yard. I said screw that and let’s be a hit it and quit it kind of guy. Over one hundred women by my early 20’s does not set up for a long relationship kind of guy. Now in my 50’s I can not say I made a mistake due to the field of dead marriage’s across all lands. Although I am moving from the USA to south america through many visits. What will the future hold for me? What will my character be? Oh by the way your girl did you a big favor to love and then leave you. Make sure it is a good lesson learned. We all have free will to leave. What do you really have to offer a woman? Make yourself strong and self sufficient physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially. The falsehood men believe sometimes are they want you weak or needy in any way. That is a shit test to put you in a punk category. You will loose what I hear defined as masculine frame. Finally when she stops having sex with you dump her. She has turned you into family. You do not screw family. What was is over. You have to see where you are with them in their mind. Take it or not but these are my words for you. Cheers!

[@RedFlagCoalition]

What you had wasn’t intimacy bro. That was sex. 😂

[@Pinkdiamond12]

Just a reminder, they continue with the same destructive patterns for life. I am more than 5 years out, and he is doing the same thing to someone else but even worse. Exactly what David says. That's how they operate and are hardwired. They don't just change.

[@jayc342009]

true, my ex is on her 2nd guy after me. They don't change, they always discard.

[@daviddemars]

Thats great and not knowing this can make us doubt ourselves.

[@JaneDough11]

Just because he is, that doesn't mean that we all are. Read about DBT, many of us do it. Personality disorders can become in remission and you can have a healthy life and recover. I don't qualify for the disorder anymore, for instance, I became in remission many years ago. They are much more treatable than previously thought.

[@JaneDough11]

We have found in recent years that a lot of things that we thought were hardwired into us, aren't the brain is much more plastic. Take care of the trauma, stop doing the behaviors, learn to cope and regulate feelings etc and you recover. You can be pretty much like everyone else.

[@mannywayne]

​@@JaneDough11 Good luck to you

[@IneverLearn-lg4qc]

Red pill no cohabitation❤

[@joeskwara5823]

You nailed my female bpd friend with most of these I can honestly say that in her 45 years of her life I am the best male to ever happen to her but she’s not around because she needs space after me nicely calling her out on a lie told multiple times. Not sure if she will ever come back but I know one thing. She needs me much more than I need her which sounds cruel and arrogant but it’s the truth. I should run but she’s paying back a loan and I feel she will pay it over the next six months as she knows that I’m capable of destroying her life which I won’t do. The problem is that I expect soon enough as she pays me monthly and I don’t engage she will call me with a life disaster bawling and wanting me back. Lucky Me I would not have had this attitude two months ago. I’d run through a wall to help her knowing she had issues but knowing nothing about bpd.

[@daviddemars]

You are learning and growing, keep prtiecirng yourself and know what you want and try to not stray from that.

[@joeskwara5823]

@@daviddemars lol and just like that after a month she contacted me to tell me she is out with the kids. And so it begins ….

[@7707Denis]

My borderline ex ticks 100% of the red flags. It was only after the breakup that therapy helped me find answers. Even the negative impact on oneself is 100% true. You start to doubt, to lie, to be aggressive. We develop severe CPTSD; as if we were contaminated...

[@daviddemars]

Good comment, thank you.

[@mystik7021]

Or maybe you are mentally ill as well lol

[@JKDVIPER]

I subbed you, that was brilliant. You have a way of being non emotional. That’s good. It serves the material well.” 😎💯✊

[@daviddemars]

Welcome to the channel and thank you very much!

[@maton100]

Fantastic, as usual. Parallels clinical observations.

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

Yep, all of it. And ye she was diagnosed borderline. Its been a couple years since she destroyed my life cos i said no to her for the first time in 17 years. Triangulated, smear campaign, blackmailed me into sex when i said no, often was unstable and the rest of the time more cold blooded than the worst people i ever knew. Thanks for your work man, it helps to know there are others like me, that i don't suffer such things alone. Sometimes it feels like everyone i know dismisses all the things i say she did. She would never lie, she always says that, must be me then, right?..... Evil, pure evil thing to do to anyone. And the worst is a mutual friend (her flatmate) knows everything she di and sided with her. But really, its channels like this that helped me stay away from trying the rope again. I'm alone but others understand, so i can go on.

[@KB-jl9nl]

Thanks for the trip down memory lane😮

[@daviddemars]

Thank you and I'm sorry for any negative emotions associated with these memories.

[@rorywright5692]

Thank you, David, for another great video! Some of the things he would say always minimized what I was going through or trivialized them. Everything was always harder for him! He would say it’s easier for you to exercise or diet. We could come down with the same cold or flu but his was worse! I didn’t know it was a competition! 😎❤️

[@daviddemars]

Hi Rory! Its good to see you. This is a produce of very low self esteem. Its from being compared to other children in childhood and then he kept doing it to himself in adulthood.

[@Grelotmystiqueetal]

I am a borderline with… self-awareness… I know. It does exist! Please remember; being borderline causes us suffering! And I am aware I can cause suffering. It’s like a rose with torns. I even warn people around me… Trying my best to heal. Almost healed. -- I say thank you all the time! And always have. I have friends! We help each other. I used to be very clingy. Very sensitive to rejection.I have learned to let go of being clingy. No interests, hobbies, no admiration? I am a health professionnal; I have learned 5 languages. I have my pets. I love art, art history, culture. Unrealistic expectations; I used to have that. Slowly healing that part.

[@armindevilla8257]

If you have personality disorder you'll never heal. You can learn to cope better and progress tho. You can get much better. Smart borderlines are self aware. It doesn't mean they have self control over their emotions.

[@Grelotmystiqueetal]

⁠You are right. My self-control over my emotions is much better. But there is always a situation where I will disorganize; although the recovery is shorter. And in these moments, I keep to myself instead of harassing others with that. And my pets help me so much.

[@daviddemars]

​@@ANGELRISINGGThis is ridiculous. Its extremely common for people with BPD to not have practical goals or realistic plans for the future. You are merely sticking up for people with this disorder because you have it and I am not attacking you or anyone. These red flags are very accurate and extremely common. What about people who comment that say they have BPD and they do have these red flags? You dont comment on their comments. You already admitted to having some of the red flags but you scoff at the others. This is what is typical of people with BPD. They lack awareness and want to argue that they dont do what I say in my videos but they actually do. Nobody needs to hear you dont have ever single red flag, we get it. I'm not the spokesperson for BPD and neither are you. These red flags I listed are extremely common. Its actually foolish to say that people with BPD have great goals and future plans, why not also say that you accomplish all these goals with no problems at all? Because it doesnt happen.

[@DontbeanNPC]

​@@daviddemarsis also common for women, in general, to react this way to things about themselves they know are not desirable. That's not putting down women because I've seen women online also say this about women. It's just how they're wired, to not take accountability and to pick at every red flag you said and say you're wrong about it all because one red flag supposedly didn't fit them. It's intellectually dishonest and they know it but just don't care. They'll do anything to avoid looking bad.

[@emilemerten6535]

Hi David Thank you for the video

[@daviddemars]

Hi Emile!

[@emilemerten6535]

@@daviddemars If my father is hearing voices and needs medication that causes that he can barely think, will I also have that one day, because it's genetic.

[@Fazo77400]

​@emilemerten6535 maybe I don't even know

[@kre8504]

My sister brags, without logical reason, that she made her daughter have BPD.

[@twocandles1108]

This is awesome thank you

[@daviddemars]

Hello!

[@tiakennedy1681]

Thank you 🙏

[@daviddemars]

Thank you!

[@davidraduziner8732]

SPOT ON RED FLAGS

[@daviddemars]

Thank you David.

[@margeebarth3196]

Hey David! Another great video, I love your sense of humor! I have a question do Narcissists (mainly Coverts) exhibit many of these types of behaviors? Is there a crossover? Of course, I'm not a trained clinician but the last guy I dated (two months). I dodged a bullet with what seemed like a Covert Narc but had quite a few of these red flags. Thanks, Margee!

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Margee! Absolutely, there are overlaps of traits in all personality disorders. It's all toxic behaviors that all toxic people can have.

[@user-ov6wm3oy2p]

Hi David A great video and my ex partner (who is diagnosed BPD) ticked every item you listed… perhaps with the exception of overwhelming jealousy, but she was quiet BPD so who knows what was happening inside. Anyway my question is this - me and yourself had some one-on-one video sessions in the past as my ex stopped me seeing my child. Your insight was terrific and helped. In court, however, neither the judge or lawyers had any idea about the severity of BPD and how it was the genesis of all our problems and why we ended up in court. She was able to lie her entire way through court proceedings at will. Her previous suicide attempts and threats were also downplayed. I would advise anyone who goes through the family court system to hire a lawyer who has a decent understanding of BPD. My ex has continued her parental alienation even after court orders have been ordered. Can I expect her to ever wake up and realise the damage she has done to me and how as a father I am just as important to my son as the mother is? (Ps she attempts therapy but always drops out when it gets to the root trauma part of things, so I don’t know how this enlightening will happen if she never ‘gets better’) Many thanks Carl from England.

[@daviddemars]

Hi Carl, thank you for your comment. Sometimes people in the judicial system will see this right away but I'm so sorry that was not your experience. Often, toxic people will at least be a little better as time goes on and not be such a problem for you. You will also learn better ways to navigate this.

[@doctordrabs]

90% lol I'm free I'm free 🤪

[@moxie96]

My ex (male) was a major chunk of all these discussed and I see this in a number of women my male friends all eventually dumped

[@DynamicOwl13]

I hear some adhd and autism traits in there. Bpd is sad thing, majority have been s.a. as a child. Histrionic, although supposed to be the same thing, i noriced a difference. Coworker is that. They can be violent. Extremely sensitive they will lash out. She was in jail for several months after st@bbing her gf in the head. Slept with clients, assumed closer relationships than they actually were... Etc.

[@drivethruabortion280]

No, the majority were NOT sexually abused as a child.

[@Jessica1201jmm]

The ocd repetitive behavior is because of dissociation from bpd & mental illness

[@MikeJackson690]

So many similarities between the first half of this video and my ex. I feel shame for falling for it. I felt special 😔 Oh, and I suspect she had bulemia. She was always "ill" after going out for dinner (which I paid for, of course), and would often text me in the morning that she was sick in the night. She treated me like shit after a month, but I feel sorry for her. She's not well.

[@daviddemars]

Forgive yourself Mike. We all didn't know better and it may have something to do with the two people who were supposed to teach you.

[@MikeJackson690]

@@daviddemars Self-forgiveness is really difficult. While I now feel stupid, I'm going to kind of hold on to how I felt in the first month as it was incredible. So much fun, I felt so wanted. It was a great feeling.

[@martyvirtue4051]

@@MikeJackson690that was a lie to lure you in to p you off once you’d fallen in love.

[@Cory-zn5mq]

I get it im the problem im working on it

[@elizabethanderson9437]

You are describing NPD

[@daviddemars]

Okay.

[@doctordrabs]

Thank you 😊

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Jim!

[@SegnahcX99]

My mother was crazy. Absolutely insane… if for one minute she didn’t have ALL attention she’d do anything to get back in the center. It’s very difficult to be raised by an insane adult

[@grikmyr]

Like you David, will start with a disclaimer before saying what I want to say, *Not All Borderlines!* but I have heard that people with BPD are needy narcissists. I agree with this to an extent because I see so much overlap between the more "hidden" (covert) narcissists and borderlines. Let me know what you think. Cheers, Alec from Melbourne Australia

[@daviddemars]

Hi Alec, the latest statistics is people with BPD are 40% likely to also have NPD.

[@grikmyr]

@@daviddemars that's a lot.. almost half of them.. it's hypocritical when the borderline labels everyone else as "narcissist," projection much.

[@jacobsmith1105]

Ive never laid with anyone in my life im 31 and i need to know how things work kinda had a rough upbringing so when the time arises i have this information thanks sir!

[@daviddemars]

Good Jacob and thank you for telling me.

[@leeleslie5518]

Great job well explained it 👍

[@IneverLearn-lg4qc]

Could you do a program on the protocols of the elders of Zion and how the USS Liberty was destroyed🎉

[@anonymousecalling]

FYI, as someone with aphantasia and anauralia, who thinks in nothing but feelings and knowings, to think at all (hyperempathy and highly yedasentient), I can tell you, that most like me have SDAM also, so we dont recall, remember or replay our pasts in the way everyone will assume, autmatically. For us, the past is just known and if you lived it, you cannot unknow it. No one knew aphantasia existed and I questioned my own sanity and MH with BPD. Thankfully the therapist explained it isnt my issue, its PTSD and its from system abuse not people. Now I understand, I am neurodivergent. I experience the world very differently to most. I actually understand those with the dark traits better, because like they can with me, I can feel where they are lacking and are hyper in mind, and I have an abundance of what they lack. They domesticated foxes for aggression and tameness. Cubs are one or the other. We balance ourselves the same way and why it runs in families, we domesticated the mental traits of men and women differently. I created a key for it. I helped me describe much we dont yet understand. I got sick of the gaslighting and misunderstandings. kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJOnm4iMichpesk

[@daviddemars]

That is so interesting thank you.

[@sysye]

I can say im definitely not boderline not a single point relates with me. But i am autistic and have adhd

[@personanongrata7976]

My ex-fiance had many of these indicators, but YT had not been invented yet. Fortunately she let her real self out about a month before we were scheduled to marry. She flipped from idealizing me to de-valuing me, and I left. She tried several hoovers but I didn't budge. I was shocked at how much of a contrast there was between who I thought she was and what she (fortunately) revealed herself to be. Looking back, I don't think she had any real self-awareness at all. IOW, she didn't realize how toxic she was.

[@sponkmcdonk3898]

SO MANY WOMEN in 2024 are like this

[@Fazo77400]

that's true I seen it firsthand

[@IneverLearn-lg4qc]

I'm lonely I got a pet turtle and I wrote it all over the map🎉

[@user-zg4wq4xu3s]

Ive recently discovered my father has BPD and my mother is a covert narcissist. perfect recipe for me becoming the family scapegoat. there's a lot of info for the female bpd with the male narc but id love to see the other dynamic, im still traumatized at 37 with nightmares of him murdering me. bit he loves me and i love him. Its sad my mother used his irrational anger to feed her needs for validation. What a recipe for disaster!

[@Jessica1201jmm]

Moving the finish line for sure!! 😂

[@abderahimB]

What if im one my self how to fix it

[@daviddemars]

Hello, if you are referring to having borderline personality disorder, the successful treatment is talk therapy. Specifically Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

[@christinak5946]

This is scary accurate 😮

[@shaunpdaly]

Lizards 🦎

[@sz6182]

All of it.. in one 27 year relationship/marriage.. At some point I started showing some of these traits too.. Dayaumn.. What a mess.. I’m screwed it seems..

[@LeeHarveyOswald.1963]

i have borderline, but it definitely manifests differently for men then women I suppose. but I am trying to be greater than my pathologies. but I never was afraid of facing the reality of myself. why lie about who you are? never a victim, have been a victimizer. but yeah, you're describing my homegirl, it blew me away, still does, how different we are.

[@elizabethanderson9437]

What are your professional qualifications?

[@daviddemars]

For what?

[@daviddemars]

I'm sorry Elizabeth but I think your comment is gone. I still want to answer you and please tell me if have not. If I am correct, you said that people and yourself want to know who is speaking to you. And then you asked what qualifications I have. I asked you what qualifications are you asking for because I dont know. I am speaking about red flags and I have been qualified for many things in my life. My channel is called DeMars Coachimg because I am a certified professional coach and I coach Clients. Does this help?

[@KammiNeko]

The best "qualification" on this subject is healing from life spent with a cluster-b as no degree can actually teach that. There are highly qualified doctors here on YT posting videos on this topic who appear to be narcissists themselves, and they regurgitate the same-old same-old. I'd rather learn from someone who has first hand experience than those types. However, if you want qualifications, check out Dr Les Carter, he's amazing and he has letters after his name.

[@NodakSavage]

@@KammiNekoI completely agree with you. I watched all of David’s vids when he first popped up on KZbin way back then. Seriously if I hadn’t who knows where I’d be. I’ve always credited him for saving my life. Even his own personal stories were mirror images of exactly what I had gone through and was going through at that very time. Much more relevant than some doc in an office that’s just regurgitating what they learned in college, following their script.

[@heatherhall3452]

Oh all of that to a much higher extreme and tenfold x tenfold - was seeking mental help from early on and not one mental health professional ever mentioned BPD or NPD, 8 years to discover myself on Fb what BPD was, and another 4 years [2020] to hear of the word Narcissist and what it means, but not aware that you are advised not to inform the Narcissist that they’ve been exposed, so I did that immediately, then about another year to find out the narcs psychotherapist was not going to be of any help bc these people are beyond help. At the end of 2022 i am FREE 🆓 from almost 15 years of living hell. I like your style, the horrific truth sometimes makes me laugh, especially the way you say it, but one very important aspect is missing and that’s the spiritual side of this truth, these earth suits have literal demons residing inside them! These demons have names, the devil prowls earth seeking whom he may devour - and nothing is more truthful about these empty vessels that steal our identity, mimic us, portray to the world everything that we are; that they have closely watched and imitated. What see & love about these people, is our own reflection mirrored back to us, everything else is ‘past’ people’s mimicked identities, and darkness, very evil conceited / covert darkness. Jesus is the truth, the life and the ONLY way, he revealed everything to me, he lined up situations & circumstances to set me free, he has continued to reveal people with hidden agendas, smear campaigns, and things that have been done and said behind my back at a slow pace ever since 🙏🏽✝️💗 The devil’s greatest trick has been; to convince the world he doesn’t exist. Luke 12:2-3 Everything that is hidden; will be shown, and everything that is secret; will be made known. What you have said in the dark; will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors; will be shouted from the roof tops. Beware of organised religion, God doesn’t favour that, seek Jesus in your heart and in Gods ‘Living’ word 📖 surrender your troubles and life to serve him, to get to know him in a personal relationship, he is your best friend, your living guide and your greatest confidant, he will never lie to you or lead you astray, in All things seek Jesus first, and wait on his quiet still voice. ❤️ Ask and ye shall receive. Be still and ye shall hear. 🛐

[@daviddemars]

Hello and thank you for your comment and watching my videos. I left that part out on purpose because I dont agree with calling people demons.

[@stefaniamirri1112]

Sorry, but by what clinical expertise are you talking? Cause the way jow you present these conditions is SO unprofessional...

[@jacobsmith1105]

He learned from Carl Jung.

[@void1718]

I think it’s perfect .

[@daviddemars]

Thank you for your opinion Stephanie. If you have a question and what you said is not rhetorical then please ask me again.

[@shobaaa6524]

All of it ive experienced

[@cindyc]

🤗👍

[@daviddemars]

Hi Cindy!

[@TheDude0fLife]

No recipriation.

[@jasec2252]

Is love bombing, idealization, limerence and infatuation the same?

[@SuperBlakes2]

Thanks for this. Except most of the behaviour sounds narcissistic. And some of it is like cptsd.

[@Bflo100]

Not a cool headline. PRETTY PEOPLE are becoming EXTINCT.

[@adhdself-love]

When someone has wounding from exes, they may come off as bitter.

[@AnitaPast-nr9uv]

In all your getting, get understanding. I don’t know if you have been hurt by someone with this disorder, but you are coming off with a sarcastic judgemental attitude, I don’t hear compassion nor understanding whatsoever. You are in part, describing a narcissist. Narcissists are more known for the one night stands and the mirroring and the getting married right away, which is love bombing annd that is what narcissists do not “borderlines” Do your due diligence before posting things that are not all true of people with Borderline personality disorder. You are generalizing and every person is an individual and the points that you do get right, may not apply to every person. I would highly recommend listening to a Real psychiatrist that actually knows what she is talking about without judgement Dr Ramani