Boredlands…

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[@EasyThere]

Borderlands is the first Geriaction film. Strong 60+ woman go!

[@lm1169x]

Geriaction... Brilliant!! 👍👍

[@PoolKid75]

Indiana Jones 5?

[@ChaptermasterPedroKantor-kv5yw]

There are rumored to be 2 Indiana Jones films that have severely geriatric Indiana Jones. Of course its only rumors, as there are and only ever will be 3 Indiana Jones movies, but if it were true Borderlands might not the first Geriaction film. Love the term though.

[@harbl99]

RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous) did it first and better.

[@jamesr2547]

Exactly, there was a gap in the market, there was a great idea that had never been executed and now it has and just wow! Chef's kiss.The results are beyond my wildest imagining!

[@chance_ondriezek99]

*Madame Web:* “I’ll be the worst movie of 2024” *Borderlands:* “Not on my watch!”

[@nickblack2006]

Wow i really forgot that came out this year.

[@chasehedges6775]

2024 is definitely the year of all times 😂

[@Ryder_OMEGA]

Joker 2 says wait until you see my musical.

[@joelellis7035]

"Hold my beer!'

[@DodgyTodger]

​@@Ryder_OMEGAyup, I ain't holding my breath for that. If they do it as a lot of music numbers AND they do it with the same "we dunno what's real and what's his imagination" shtick then I'm completely out. They did that in the first film, great, now move on from it. If he's in a mental institution and/or not being the actual joker then f that.

[@EastyyBlogspot]

Lol i was expecting you to say "this film could have been better if it was completely different in every way"

[@t.kersten7695]

"this film could have been better - if it never was made at all."

[@dainishauka7205]

it had streetfighter vibes..but it did not have its Raul Julia.. there was a way to make it just a bit better. add the lines on at least the faces to mimic visual of the game.

[@2GuysTalkingPodcastNetwork]

My Pop was ENAMORED with the video game. I'm glad he wasn't around to see what they've done to it. This ridiculousness needs to end.

[@fredo1070]

A movie so bad that even the critics hated it.

[@MaciejBogdanStepien]

Wow, that's... that's beyond awful.

[@BlackCatsXVII]

I enjoyed the movie, but you gotta be a borderland fan to fully understand the subtlity of the movie, the backlash is just stupid the movie is actually really good.

[@NunamedDragon]

​@BlackCatsXVII Nothing wrong with liking trash, I personally think the movie is garbage.

[@user-wj7bu9zv7i]

That comment made me think of the Rick and Morty copypasta, and not in a good way

[@M-S_4321]

A damming indictment

[@juliancate7089]

"...painfully unfunny and irritating throughout..." A description that is so universally fitting that you could copy and paste it for every alleged comedic script and performer in Hellywierd.

[@AliceJoy78]

So, a wannabe Guardians action adventure movie with the same anticipation and excitement as watching paint dry. Takes just as long, too. Thank you, Dave for saving me from wasting 102 minutes of my life. You are a true guardian angel! 👍

[@osmanyousif7849]

That’s ironic, considering how they even casted the actress who played a young Gamora….

[@TEMINIX]

"It exists. It's a film and it's comfortably way worse than 'The Marvels.'" Amazing review.

[@floydlooney6837]

Worse than Madam Web?

[@DannyKnightblade45]

You know a movie is pretty bad when it makes The Marvels look good.

[@georgedavidson957]

fantastic that overlooked older people are getting roles even if the movies are never seen by anyone.

[@JohnSmith-sb2fp]

It's weird to me how films like this have been getting the full marketing and distribution packages for over a decade , but "John Carter"(2012) gets sent straight to limited theatrical release with little to no marketing. Yeah, John Carter wasn't a masterpiece , but it could have made a profit if they had got behind it.

[@GamerBoy870]

What's John Carter is that a comic if so never head of the movie

[@nononsense7867]

Jack Blacks voice being in it is enough for me not to even risk watching it.

[@dolyharianto]

Cate Blanchett thought she can become Jane Wick

[@fokker1138]

Kate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis are so old they can't hide it if they try. Picking people 2-3 decades too old was the biggest mistake of this.

[@thepayne7862]

But they are young at heart lol.

[@commentingisdangerous7530]

doesn't matter how old they are, still would have been woke girl-boss trash.

[@acem82]

I'm sorry, they can get Jack Black to play Lilith, and it would *still* be better ...if it had proper writing!

[@SirBlackReeds]

As opposed to making a Borderlands movie?

[@dainishauka7205]

it could have worked somewhat- but the script should reflect it is a lot later than game action- tina was old as well so perhaps other old characters was not wrong in itself....just the script played out as if it does not matter at all....in game an old fart jumping like a flea might look appropriate- but this is live action, our eyes do not allow such discrepancies in live action as it would in a game or cartoon.

[@edbeasant9494]

I can say whenever i used to play the borderlands games that i never once thought "this would make a great movie" lol.

[@jroar123]

They should have named this movie, “Mad Max beyond Stupid Dome.”

[@fokker1138]

Mad Max Beyond Dullard Dome.

[@SirBlackReeds]

But Furiosa exists for that. Australia really screwed over its taxpayers with that one.

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

Its Howard the Duck levels bad.

[@Mereologist]

The director basically overtly said he had no interest in a Borderlands movie. He wanted to make Furiosa and 5th Element and basically everything else. All his choices in casting, story, and look derive from other films and not the game in any way.

[@DannyKnightblade45]

​@@SirBlackReeds Not true at all. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is a very good film.

[@Souloux]

Should have had a younger cast. Why does Hollywood insist on hiring the same old tired actors?

[@joelellis7035]

Hollywood has become risk averse. These older actors had box office draw at one time. Studio execs probably thought the video game was not enough of a draw so they wanted recognizable actors to fill the roles.

[@jonsnowight9510]

Because nobody likes the new, young actors and actresses.

[@veganconservative1109]

Can't recall what movie it was, but remember one having an advertisement for Rocky XXX or something. Very old boxer.

[@joelellis7035]

@@veganconservative1109 Airplane 2

[@SirBlackReeds]

Because the young, tired actors aren't bankable.

[@InfamyOrDeath-__-]

It’s bizarre that the cast is so old, it’s so strange for an action movie like this.

[@dolyharianto]

Hey, if Keanu can make it, I'm sure Cate can too.

[@jonsnowight9510]

​@@dolyhariantoShe demonstrably can't.

[@sorbabaric1]

The Secondhand Lions did it well, but then it’s a completely different movie. Robert Duvall and Michael Caine. Great movie.

[@smash461986]

I watched Red for the first time the other day and enjoyed it.

[@TK-nn8jd]

@@sorbabaric1 I feel like I should be offended that Secondhand Lions is even being mentioned in the same digital breath as this, but I also have to appreciate anything that brings more attention to a great movie that didn't get the respect it deserves.

[@spiktan]

The 355 The Marvels Madame Web Borderlands Yet , they still don't get it.. and thats why I stay home and rummage through my older Blu rays as they appreciate in re-watch value.

[@jroar123]

Dave Cullen always has it pegged reviewing movies. Thanks for watching the ones we should avoid, it saves us time and money.

[@joelellis7035]

I was initially interested, but when every succeeding trailer focused an inordinate amount of time on the pee-joke, I had my doubts about this movie.

[@jroar123]

@@joelellis7035 AGREED!

[@jessepacheco6020]

Dave suffers so we don't have to..

[@Jake-love939]

I've been putting off buying the game(s); will they be a waste of time as well?

[@cjthetallpoet]

@@Jake-love939personally nah, 1,2 pre sequel and third are all somewhat enjoyable, even tales from the borderlands but I heard very negative things about new tales from the borderlands…

[@BoomGiggity]

Why do all the characters look so nice and clean and tidy in comparison to the gritty background?

[@Koozwad]

laziness

[@abbynormall207]

Kevin Hart playing Toland is like getting Erkel to play a role for The Rock

[@revolioclockman8090]

At least if they got the Rock, they could have put Brick in the movie.

[@Niever]

I like the part where elderly people are casted for an action movie.

[@Splobkingofsplob]

If you listen closely you can hear their joints cracking with every gunshot

[@cognitivedissidents4642]

They should give AARP discounts on tickets to get better turnout of the target audience.

[@majorgear1021]

And Country Buffet vouchers!

[@Chris2tiano]

The worst part is, they could’ve just pulled the main plot from BL2. Handsome Jack was one of the best antagonists I’ve come across, easily strong enough to carry a film like this.

[@roberthornibrook6344]

6 million over the weekend meanwhile Deadpool & Wolverine just made over a billion.

[@gabbodelaparrawrites]

And most settings had a "we're trying really hard to be The Fifth Element" when they aren't in the desert.

[@Seltkirk-ABC]

This is funny, because Borderlands 2's "Handsome Jack" is typically and unanimously the BEST well-written Video Game villian...

[@jonathanyoung2588]

You can smell the desperation. Poor casting to say the least

[@AdeizaSama]

There's a way you deliver such savage criticisms with a serious tone that always gets me 😂😂😂 "Anyone still in the cinema at the end is simply not conscious" 💀

[@yassinefarah2423]

Who would've thought that Jack Black, the man who made a popular song about video games and managed to voice act as Bowser, being involved in this masterpiece.

[@beefsuprem0241]

"Worse than the Marvels" Oof, the man woke up and chose scorched earth 😂

[@guilhermehank4938]

Borderlands fell apart after Handsome Jack

[@zangetsudx1]

Borderlands fell apart after the 1st game.

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

@@zangetsudx1 Wrong.

[@Avenus112]

​@@zangetsudx1 second game improved on a lot from the first but yeah, the brand's been in decline for over a decade.

[@zangetsudx1]

@@Avenus112 I didn't see any improvements coming from the second game. If anything, it went the opposite way. The storyline sucked, the graphics went even more cartoonist making it look dumber, the guns in the game became even more aesthetically unrealistic.

[@Avenus112]

@@zangetsudx1 borderlands was always supposed to be a madcap adventure and all the damage the galactic corps (especially Atlas) did to the planet. Its not supposed to be realistic. The second storyline was a massive improvement over the first, which was barely present due to lastminute rewrites. The second they knew what they wanted to write, about plucly rebels taking down a tyrant along the way at great personal cost, and they delivered on exactly that in its way with its aesthetic design. If you expected a call of duty shooter ai can see where that comes from. But it's not, it's about lunatics crossing galaxies to chase legends across a desert planet to crack open magical vaults of ??? Inside when no one even knows where the legends came from. If that implied realism or something then I'm sorry, it was unintentional. Also i dont understand how your mind conflated realism with quality.

[@Match25]

A bad movie can still be enjoyed. But nothing can save a boring movie

[@osmanyousif7849]

“No! It’s just bad!”

[@chefzilla314]

Hollywood Pictures: I'm all in with Super Mario Bros. Lionsgate: I see your Super Mario Bros. and raise you Borderlands. Are we about to see a worse video game adaptation?

[@gvii]

Finally, a video game movie that brought Uwe Boll's films up from the very bottom of the stack. No doubt he's breathing a sigh of relief right about now.

[@P3d3r0s0]

I've been avoiding saying his name for the last couple of decades to avoid any chance of anyone using the man to make movies.

[@AzraelThanatos]

@@P3d3r0s0 Considering everything with his work, the man was a genius in how he took advantage of various funding options and such to make the movies. He just realized that he had other sources of income from it when it flopped while being more greedy than egotistical about his reputation. When all of the things he was taking advantage of to make the movies and get money out of them ended, he stopped making them. Brilliant, but someone who didn't give a damn about fans of the original product...or good taste because it was a guaranteed paycheck with little real effort.

[@thedarkknight1971]

I think what's MORE funny is when i hear the words 'And then...' I chuckle at the 'Dude Where's My Car' movie segment - "And then and then and then and then..." 👍🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 😎🇬🇧

[@lessthan12parsecs92]

The LionsGate execs saw this movie and actually thought it was going to do $60m on opening weekend! The face of the VG company, Picthford, sold the rights and gave up all creative control. Not that he cared anyway the way he helped to destroy the 3rd game. So it was nothing like the games at all. We didn't need a one for one shot of the game, just something that resembled the games. A looter shooter with a fun story...which means guns and loot. And they maybe showcased one kind of gun! Hart's character has a special where he throws out a turret...a gun. Nothing in the movie. and getting Black to voice an iconic character like ClapTrap made no sense. It was just Jack Black as "The Robot". Not even worth streaming.

[@councilofkarens729]

Did Kate Blanchette do this as a dare, a lost bet, or does she just want a Razzie that badly?

[@jonathanwaswrong3917]

Think you hit the nail on the head. The only theatrical award she doesnt have is a Razzie. Well played madam.

[@Avenus112]

Easy paycheque. They paid her stupid amounts of money to do it so she said meh, I guess.

[@guguigugu]

@@Avenus112 she actually said that she was going crazy during lockdown and needed to take on any project just to get out of the house

[@Avenus112]

@@guguigugu so this has been in post-production for a couple years then? Is that why its junk, this all happened during the lockdowns?

[@geekyphoton5584]

When Dave said "IQ lowering dialogue" (4:04), the first thing I thought about was Star Twreck: Discovery!

[@atticstattic]

Dave, you're describing _The Last Jedi_ again!😊

[@projp9057]

Oh boy, let’s hear it

[@tylerwarner3677]

Comfortably worse is my new favorite phrase lol

[@Phillip_of_Burns]

Cate Blanchett as Lilith... 60 year old woman playing a mercenary. Jamie Lee Curtis 65 years old... Kevin Hart is like 5'4" playing a super soldier. Just seems like they took the biggest names they could get, regardless of if they'd fit the roles. I love video games, borderlands included, but I never watch movies or shows based on video games. So far I think my strategy has worked out well.

[@Jay_Dee1911]

My head hurts with how you described the opening scene.

[@illuminahde]

Why do they want to destroy everything we like? 😭😭

[@lm1169x]

Power corrupts

[@Zso-VIII]

That's the scary thing, I think they were genuinely trying to succeed with this one, not intentionally tank.

[@chasehedges6775]

@@lm1169x💯💯

[@jamesr2547]

Once you start to put the agenda first, the art collapses quite quickly. I think that is true in general, not just for this current agenda. Once you are in that mindset it may be difficult or impossible to return to just entertaining people, even if you decide that is what you want to do.

[@t.kersten7695]

because we like it! we have to be miserable and hatefilled every single day.

[@Pwj579]

Thanks Dave, after watching the trailer a few months ago, seeing Cate Blanchett , Jamie Lee Curtis and Jack Black……oh this is going to be dull and woke

[@czarcoma]

Reading the thumbnail and title..... On point.

[@GlutenSensitivityReader]

Olderlands

[@ridensroom6957]

I'm replaying BL1 right now. Still so much fun

[@richardlbowles]

"When it comes to o Borderlands, which is in movie theatres, I'm going to start with the positive. I'm positive it's in movie theatres at the moment. Now the negatives..."

[@imakethesites3048]

"Way worse than The Marvels?" Wow, that's saying something. They saw that and said "Hold my 🍺. "

[@joegee2815]

You just saved all of us time and money. Some movies I would just avoid seeing in the theater then watch later on streaming, but I won't even do that. Thanks!

[@thesteveruss]

Boredomlands

[@tacitus6384]

Senior Citizens Land.

[@milestrombley1466]

The Marvels: "First time?"

[@pieroog]

Why surprised? All it took, for me, was seeing the poster...

[@GRT1865]

Dave you seem to find, and watch, movies I've never heard of. Thanks for the warning and keep up the good work.

[@Mrcharrio]

Borderlands should of been a Game, a shorter one which after you beat it, it takes all your choices and actions like a which way book and creates a Movie from them. That is just one idea.

[@cormoran2303]

Cate Blanchett looking more like Handsome Jack than Lilith these days.

[@LuigiL75]

I mean...we ALL knew this was going to be the biggest dumpster fire known to Mankind!!! 🤣

[@Barbro247]

They make these movies bad on purpose. Borderlands 2 is one of the best games ever made with a story so good you wont mind replaying it hundreds of times

[@jaylaw83]

I wouldn't say 1 of the best games ever, but it was the best in the series, had the best story, characters and 1 of the best antagonists in gaming, would the real Handsome Jack please stand up!

[@pcliftonjr]

I'm still playing BL2 👍.

[@jaylaw83]

@pcliftonjr it's genuinely a classic and saying that, I might go back and play as my boy Kreig.

[@WalesTheTrueBritons]

Reverse psychology 101, make the product Terrible so that calls for a future film or series will be quashed. Turning the fans against the IP works a treat nowadays. The goal is power and control, not money and money is the tool, not the goal.

[@OneofInfinity.]

U got it, same with the divide and ... tactics, in uk prevalent now, soon the rest.

[@AndyG73]

I saw the trailer when I was watching another film at the cinema a few months ago, and it was so bad /boring, I'd forgotten what it (Borderlands) was about by the time the main film started, just a few minutes later. It took me all of 10 seconds into the trailer to say 'nope' as a possible watch. Note that from watching a Midnight's Edge video the other day, the film apparently went through several creative teams over many years even before shooting commenced; it was then was shot during he lockdowns, then was 'in the can' (despite being poor), then subject to significant re-writes/re-shoots, so much so that one of the original writers asked that his name be removed from the credits. Not a good sign. I suspect this is what we'll likely see for the up-coming 'Not-Captain America' sequel, just amped up to 20.

[@VeraldoAncodini]

It's almost like grandmas don't make good action heroes. This movie is so bad, even the paid shill critics hate it.

[@SamSchott1]

I bet that with the right script, maybe an old folks’ home that’s a front for a CIA operation, could be a lot of fun. It should be tightly scripted and smart, and well cast and directed. Here’s your title: Gray Ops.

[@TestAcct46]

Lionsgate forgot to pay the critics off

[@Koozwad]

it seems to exist solely as a joint effort to alienate fans from franchises... not the first time either!

[@intotheaether9022]

I thoroughly enjoyed the first borderlands game and then when borderlands 2 came out, my wife and I absolutely fell in love with it! We have spent countless hours playing through that game and each have at least three characters that are level 50+. The pre-sequel, we did not like the mechanics of as much but it was still enjoyable. We could not even get into borderlands 3, but we sure tried. So, when I heard they were making a movie I got excited. Then I heard they were casting Jack Black as claptrap, less excited. Then Kevin Hart was announced as playing roland, substantially less excited. Cate blanchett is about 20 years too old to be playing lilith. I think the only casting I thought was halfway decent was Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis because I could see her being able to actually bring that character to life. However, now that I hear the story..... I am so glad I did not spend my hard-earned money to go see this with my friend Tyler who was begging me to go see it with him! Tiny Tina is not a siren, the reasoning for finding the vaults was completely bastardized and Lilith is called the Fire Hawk because of her siren abilities and according to the law of the universe there can only be two sirens at one time. Seriously, this was already a universe rich in lore that had excellent stories and they decided to completely butcher that and make up a brand new story all on their own that does not even fit in the universe. I hope they lose all the money!

[@alexmalcolm6309]

"Mom can we get Guardians of the Galaxy?" "We have Guardians of the Galaxy at home." Guardians of the Galaxy at home:

[@martindenham2207]

It provided employment, everyone got a paycheque and the studio has something new to promote on social media. Job done.

[@the_dead_man]

"I bet the movie is spelled B-O-R-E-D Lands." -Norm MacDonald (probably)

[@Davidsworldtravels]

One of the best late night interviews ever made. I was thinking of this exact joke.

[@cammus]

"Why do they make movies like this? How can studios spend so much money on something so bad? Could it be that they're actually laundering money? Because it's hard to believe that with so much money, they could create something so awful."

[@Ramsiusthx]

WHERE ARE THE GUNS!? GUNS GUNS GUNS!!

[@randallporter1404]

They promised billions of guns...

[@SharreIWright]

I'm seeing guns in the trailer so I'm not sure what your point is

[@randallporter1404]

@@SharreIWright The OG *Game* trailers before the game was released... NOT the movie trailer.

[@OneofInfinity.]

@@randallporter1404 Bazillions of them, so many that they become almost obsolete the moment they drop 😆

[@angelmessenger8240]

At this point I'm wondering if film making isn't just money washing.

[@twown]

"Way worse than The Marvels"?? Did I hear that right? Holy sh...

[@Disinterested1]

This title managed to make "The Room" look like a polished masterpiece that is actually impressive! in the WORST possible way! subbed have a great day!

[@awesomehpt8938]

Why is cate Blanchett in this movie? Galadriel deserves better roles!

[@Joshua-do7vo]

"Comfortably worse than 'The Marvels'." Ouch.

[@therockontheshelf]

Im coining it now, Mad Tampax

[@freeport48]

So I should avoid this like the plaque huh. Okay no problem here.

[@chrislee3861]

They should have created something new to the IP, with new characters and a new story within the game’s canon. That would have at least attracted the people who enjoy the games, which is exactly what Fallout did with their tv series, and it was widely received.

[@DaveLynchWriter]

I've been suffering from insomnia, so thanks for the tip!

[@torva360]

Earthquakes occur when a tectonic plate is basically stuck for years and the pressure builds up until it snaps forward for devastating results. I think the same thing happened with video game movies. Sonic stopped the curse, and then it sprang forward with a vengeance.

[@tomrodgers6629]

It was dollar store Guardians of the Galaxy. I almost switched theaters and seen Dead Poll again.

[@kevinmccabe7263]

They've been marketing this hard as well, there's no way they even make their marketing budget back

[@LostCauseClown]

Big-time Borderlands fan here. This is made for nobody. Not fans, not casuals- nobody. Absolutely awful casting and writing. Girlboss garbage.

[@DarthZ01]

just like most of hollywood these days, its made to attract fans in just to absolutely crap on everything they love. bit more insidious than just made for no one, its made intentionally to destroy something else culturally popular.

[@nimz8521]

Did you watch it?

[@21palica]

From most of the reviews I heard, this sounds exactly as the movie trailer looks. Like some generic, board approved screenplay which put on an "Edgar suit" of another popular IP, and made something that has nothing in common with it, except for the aesthetics. It's all so shallow, but not fun. So worst of both worlds.

[@janeenschultz8502]

Maybe it needed a little more sugar water.

[@21palica]

@@janeenschultz8502 Except this Borderlands' Galaxy is in Orion's Butt!

[@dr.medieval1131]

Welcome to this generation's "Pluto Nash."

[@GoddessOfWhim2003]

good thing about Boarderlands: it gets Do You by ELO stuck in my head. i love ELO

[@nickwest1337]

Thanks Dave. Saved me having to torrent a movie I didn’t even know existed.

[@ViperChief117]

I knew this movie was going to be bad from the moment they dropped the first trailer. Which is why I won’t be watching and I own all the games. Lol

[@matthewronson5218]

In dystopian/post apocalyptic desert Barbarian, how and why could they afford the resources and time to make such elaborate costumes? In Road Warrior, it looked very much like scavenged items. In movies like this, the characters have a Tailor and costume designer at their disposal to give them that 'edgy look'...

[@stormannorman3054]

When it comes to video game to movie it's rare that they either get right or abandon the target audience

[@filmandfirearms]

They took probably the single most off the wall, absurd, and over the top piece of fiction to reach any sort of mainstream success, and they made it live action. If it was animated, they could have actually run wild with it and made things work

[@guywarrenthomas1974]

Perfect example as to how to realse a tax loss duductable film.

[@bigrobotnewstoday1436]

It won't even be worth it when there are DVD and Blu-Ray copies for a dollar at the dollar store.

[@totalwarANGEL]

8:02 Well, that's an achivement!

[@itssimo0374]

That's what i said when i first seen the trailer, that it looked like Guardians of the Galaxy!

[@shaunluckham1418]

The story was already written for them if they used the back story fill in for Angel from Borderlands 3 and used 2 for the movie. You had Handsome Jack as the villain a generic hero role for some new actor and you had Roland, Lilith aka the Firehawk, Tina and Ellie for your body positive actress role. It should have been simple.

[@zackavant5566]

Yes

[@DragonJohn]

From your review it sounds like they made a perfect movie version of the game

[@thebigidea9659]

From the moment I saw that Kevin Hart was playing roland I knew this was going to be a stinker.

[@Trabunkle]

Fighting Grannies of Pandora! 🤟🏻😂