Boundaries, Performance, and Overfunctioning Part I (Masculinity from the Inside Out Ep. 5)

[@frankrsalatino5845]

I really enjoyed listening to this discussion. I found it very helpful. And as always Rick, I appreciate and value your wisdom and perspective.

[@RickBelden]

Thank you for listening and for your very generous comment.

[@charlesstanford1310]

It's right to want the place where you sleep to be a place where you can expect acceptance, encouragement and peace. I fear that in trying to claim value beyond our performance we're fighting an uphill battle against our biology. But if there is a place where men can find steady acceptance of our wholeness, where we don't have to perform to be accepted, I don't think it's in the arms of a woman. The consideration of inner boundaries was illuminating.

[@RickBelden]

Good comment. Thank you for sharing your insights.

[@rdcklaus]

Inner critic. Its a system that serves or served a useful purpose. Just like undesired emotions I no longer run away (as often). Both are working on my behalf however they got me confused for tge 2yeR old me or tge 10y old me or the 16y old me that had less agency. I thank the critic for his loyal service. Politely decline its advise. Remind him that its usefulness is past gone. Fussing and dismissing these pesky critters is a waste of my energy and inefficient. A very effective strategy to keep myself safe from decades ago simply no longer applies.

[@RickBelden]

Excellent insights! Thank you.

[@DarenHarmon]

This is deep! Great vid!

[@RickBelden]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@folkeolofsson5464]

Really appreciate your conversations and analyses of the inner life and psychology of HSP's themselves! Thank you for your courage to speak and reach out. 'Classic' psychology and analysis is definitely very useful and important. However, from my own horizon, and with all due respect, so far the fundamentals seem to be missing, and hence the big picture suffers. I wish you would expand from the individual to the (widely misunderstood) underlying realities of social life in groups, organizations and society. Most importantly. In doing so, starting with the undeniable fundamentals creating all the problems that HSP men experience. Basic biology and neurology you've touched on a bit, but there's soo much more to gain extrapolating from there for us to really grasp our 'situation'. Human Nature (male/female) and subsequent Evolutionary Social Dynamics are in fact the most powerful frameworks available to not just understand, but explain and even predict, the social aspects and the spectrum of reactions HSP's meet with in life. E.g. Who ARE these 'other' guys - the 'normies' / average / non-HSP's / insensitives, and morally worse - people. What actually governs their patterns of behavior. Individually and in groups. How do their brains differ from ours. I.e. psychology / sociology from an Evolutionary perspective. As somewhat of a student of these topics it's frustrating to not see them applied to our predicament, as it were. I'd say we need them desperately. Best regards, take care guys :D

[@RickBelden]

Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I agree that the larger context (social, political, cultural, sex/gender, evolutionary) you described is important to developing a full understanding of the terrain and how to best navigate it. However, while all of that is within the scope of my interest as well, it is outside the scope of where I have tended to concentrate my development in terms of expertise and content, therefore I typically do not venture into those areas at length or in depth. Sincere question: Since you clearly have both knowledge and interest in the content areas you addressed, have you considered creating your own content to explore and address it? I've noticed in my own experience that when I observe that something I'd like to see is absent or lacking, it's a great opportunity for me to step into that gap myself and see if I can address it. It sounds to me like you could do some interesting work in that arena.