My Mom Died 💔 raw, uncensored life update & Details for Suki's Readathon

[@moustik31]

Your mom isnt a failure, she did her best! It's medical professionals AND systemic ableism/racism, that failed her. I pray, that her spirit is at peace knowing, that you, your brothers and her dogs are all together and that you will be caring for one another now. 💜💜💜

[@Freakingcurly]

I'm so so sorry Jesse. I lost both my parents when I was 24. It's not easy, it's really painful. I wish you patience and peace in your grief.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We're holding space for you all. Thank you for letting us witness a part of your family's story. Hoping we get the chance to talk again, even if briefly

[@ivysylvan]

I'll light a candle in her memory for y'all. I lost my mom to cancer about a decade ago. My wife and I had been planning our wedding then, but my mom was fighting a losing battle and wouldn't make it the last few months to the date. We went to the courthouse and signed the papers so she could be there as witness. She passed two weeks later. I won't offer any platitudes, just love.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you for allowing us to witness your history

[@pennyspreferences561]

Oh damn, I'm SO sorry. Fuck health disparities and racism. Sending you my love!

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, Penny

[@malloryr4883]

Hi Jesse. I don't talk to my mother for many reasons, but I remember seeing a video of yours when she first moved in with you, and thinking about what a lovely relationship you guys had. I am so sorry for your loss, and for everything that has happened. I am so thankful you are coming back to KZbin and choosing to put your personal health and welfare first. I donated to your gofundme (thank you for sharing it!) and I will be lighting a candle for your mom. Stay strong- there are so many people who care about you and want you to be safe and happy. Love you

[@JesseOnYoutube]

This means the world to us. Thank you for your incredible kindness.

[@balletbookworm]

Oh Jesse, when y'all said y'all should never let her move back to Michigan, I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug y'all. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry the healthcare system failed her. Obviously, I never met her in person but loved seeing her in y'all's videos and how much she loved the videos and BookTube. And the snippets of her cooking y'all shared, her food looked so good

[@JesseOnYoutube]

You always know just how to hug us

[@tyghe_bright]

Losing my mother in my 30s was so hard, and I didn't have to support anyone. It's barely been a minute for you, no wonder you are still raw. I send my spirit out to you, to hold space for you to feel whatever you need. You are profound and beautiful.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

repeated condolences for your mama. I know that was hard. &your spirit is felt. what beautiful things to say to me. thank you.

[@dragonezreading]

Grief is hard and y’all are so brave for confronting it and living with it. I sent the book - I’m glad that it helped in some small way. I’m thinking of Suki, and also of y’all and your family.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We were squeezing that book yesterday!!!!! Cannot thank you enough for it and the ideas you sparked. It's now a sacred text 🤍🕯️ thank u for loving us

[@bornagainreader]

I am so, so, so, so sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking. The way you speak about her, though, is so warm and so full of love, and that warmth will stay with y'all forever. The impact she clearly made on y'all is so special. ♥ Sending all the love and will support where I can.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you so much, this means the world.

[@gabbyreads]

I’m so sorry Jesse 😭 I don’t even have the words, I’m just so sorry that y’all are dealing with this right now. I’m sending y’all the biggest bear hug 😭❤️

[@sarenag3679]

I'm so sorry to hear of your deep loss Jesse as well as your family's. I lost my person, my Dad, very unexpectedly and although logically I understood what was happening it felt like my heart and my entire body was screaming no. I don't know how you feel because no one can but I know grief is more painful than words and that it has felt like the only pain I couldn't just make better. That the level of grief felt equal to the depths of love. I will light a candle for Suki and hope that you can feel some small measure of peace and comfort knowing that you are surrounded by love and community. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged. You deserve to have the space you need to cry, rage, laugh, remember. We're holding you Jesse.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

🫂🤍

[@giigiireadss]

Hiiiiiiii Jesse! I’ve missed y’all so much and I’m sending y’all so much much love and healing energy❤️❤️❤️ Mama Bowties’s love will always be felt and remembered! She was amazing in life and she’ll be amazing as an ancestor!!!

[@JesseOnYoutube]

You're so wonderful!! Screenshot this for her altar 🤍

[@rubituesdai]

As someone who also lost my mum unexpectedly and was also preventable, I understand the anger and frustration and utter grief❤ my heart and love is with y'all and y'all's mum's spirit 💚💚

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Rubi. We appreciate the sense in all of the senselessness. What an entire tragedy, to lose your mum and to something preventable. Big hugs to you both

[@adamiseasilystartled]

Thank you for sharing y'all's vulnerability with us and for opening up your heart and allowing this community to grieve alongside y'all. I feel very humbled to be part of Suki's homegoing. My partner has an altar and we'll light a candle for Suki, and in her honor, I've also happily joined the Heart tier on your Patreon. It just felt like the right thing to do in her memory. I hope y'all find peace and moments of joy and tenderness and healing during this time. I hope y'all know y'all are loved. (That includes you, Suki. I love you!)

[@Strawberrybabyz94]

Your mom wanted a way out from the pain and suffering. She is no longer in pain and she is no longer suffering. I'm praying for your strength and comfort knowing that your mom is watching over you with the biggest smile on her face. My TBR will be changing for this readathon. *Hugs and Kisses* 🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🫂🫂🫂Mi amor, stay Gold, much gratitude!!!

[@caprisbookisland]

Yall lit up around her, losing someone so close is devastating. Im so incredibly sorry. Grief hits in waves but I’m praying yall are surrounded by loved ones who will nurture and care for y’all’s heart. Work through this in the best way yall can. And cherish the memories, videos, pictures, and ways her spirit will show up around yall. She will always show up, she’s not gone 🐞🕯️

[@JesseOnYoutube]

🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 we love you too, Capri.

[@ToriArjani]

I'm so sorry for y’all’s loss and just wanted to say this channel has brought so much joy and hope. Through that y’all and Suki have affected so many. I hope we in the community can offer some comfort and aid back in return. Also, Suki’s designs look so beautiful.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

these words mean a lot to us. we're deeply comforted by you and this community's response

[@rachaellawrites]

I'm so sorry y'all's mom was so deeply neglected and wronged by the medical system. This readathon is a beautiful way to honour her ❤️

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you so much Rachaella :) [did we get your name correct?]

[@rachaellawrites]

@JesseOnKZbin Rachaella works! It's my first name (Rachael) and last two initials

[@Jen-fantasyandfiction]

The world will miss the beautiful, strong woman that was Suki.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

[@caseyisbooked6752]

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm 27 and my dad died this summer as well and I think that this is a beautiful way to honor your mom. Grief is funny, its shitty, it comes and goes, and I know it sucks and it'll always will be there. Take everything one day, or even one moment at a time, and it'll get better. Sending hugs and books and peace 💚

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Casey

[@CharlotteBrooks-c7u]

Dear Jesse- I extend my sincere condolences. I have been checking for you. So Glad YOU ARE BACK!

[@heymer4274]

Let me tell you this right now. We control what we can and we cannot control everything. Your mother was beautiful. She was loved. Your existence is a beautiful tribute to your mother. I wish you peace and I hope that you are able to take the time you need to deal with your exponential loss. The love that you have for your mother is so visceral, no one could dispute that. Please focus some of that love toward yourself through this time. She would want that and we all want that for you. You can move forward and your angel will be watching over you, cheering you on.

[@pinkleonie1]

Hearing the love y’all have for Suki … Has inspired me to be a better mother…. My daughter is 15 months old and also feels like an extension of myself…. Wishing y’all so much strength. I don’t think I will be able to participate in the reading sprints (due to time difference and needing to take care of my daughter) but will definitely be donating and reading some of the prompts

[@halimamuslimah]

As someone who has lost their parents, I wish I could tell you something positive about the loss of your family and the grief that follows. Unfortunately, I cannot. It hurts in so many different ways as time goes by. I look at some KZbinrs videos with their family, and all I can do is cry knowing that those videos are going to be so very special in their lives when they need to look back at their loved ones that may no longer be alive. Then I chastise myself because I also know that these same KZbinrs would think me foolish for thinking so negatively. If only they knew how true it is. Thank you Jesse for sharing yourself through this part your life journey.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

This resonates. For many years now we have taken as many photos and videos with mama as possible. We've always known this day was coming. we wanted to be prepared. and we are so grateful for how aggressively we collected memories with mom.

[@amyhand]

Im sending you all my love. You love for your mom really came through in your content as well as her love for you and it was beautiful. Thinking of you and your family.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Amy

[@hyemiyah]

i've been lighting candles for mama bowties ever since I heard of her passing from your ig. I'm glad y'all gave us the chance to get to know her through y'alls channel and reels. I'm sure I don't speak only of myself, but y'alls mama was loved, and I'm sure she'll continued to be loved even in her passing. sending love and strength y'alls way. will definitely join the suki readathon

[@JesseOnYoutube]

we were unprepared to receive such tenderness

[@maatheru5543]

Dear Jesse, I can’t imagine the depth of what you all feel right now. Losing two such important and beloved people is a weight I know must feel overwhelming, and my heart genuinely goes out to you all. I can feel the love you have for them through every story, every memory you’ve shared, and I hope you can hold onto that love as something timeless. As someone who also finds comfort in books and the connections we share with our pets, I hope you know there are countless pages and paws ready to help you find solace whenever you need it. I see the strength in your voice and your vulnerability, and I admire you deeply for it. You’ve touched so many people, myself included, and we’re all here to hold space for you in whatever way you need. Please lean on us-whether in the quiet moments of the night or the bright ones in the day-because we’re all here with you. Sending you my deepest compassion and respect during this time, and whenever you need. With heartfelt sympathy and love, Chris

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We needed this.

[@cal9581]

The very first video I saw on this channel was one right around the time your mother moved in. I grew up living in multi-generational homes, and miss it terribly as an adult who had to move away from family, and the relationship y'all shared was very comforting to see, so I knew I had to subscribe. I was so excited to see that y'all had posted again, only to be devastated to see what the video was about. I cried through this video with y'all and I am so terribly sorry that y'all have to go through this. Right now I am going to go rearrange my November tbr with Suki in mind (and y'all, too, Jesse) and hope for a clear path to mourning, grieving, and healing for y'all.

[@brooke5258]

Losing your grandmother and mother, my goodness. You are SO strong! I don't have the words, but know that you are loved.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

you just made me feel so loved, Brooke, you're a gift.

[@lusalma5404]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother was a wonderful woman and I am sorry that your workplace was not supportive.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, friend. we all appreciate it. and you

[@adrienneadelsperger897]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength and your vulnerability. Sending love to you and your brothers 💕

[@muddywatersbookshelf7758]

Jesse, I am so very sorry to hear about your Moms passing. Please be kind to yourself. Grief is so unpredictable.

[@Virginia14919]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and everything you're going through right now. This all sounds extremely difficult, and my heart goes out to you. I know the weight on your shoulders right now must feel immense. I feel angry and upset for you and your mom that she passed from something preventable. I was worried when you disappeared from KZbin, and have continued to check back for new videos. Thank you for providing multiple ways for us to help support your family. 🤍

[@angela-thebooknerdess2110]

Today, oct 27th, is the 20th anniversary of my mums sudden passing. I was 23. Sudden passings are horrendous and painful and for me left me feeling very unmoored. I am so sorry you are experiencing all you are going through. Take care of yourself and kniw i am sending all the love x

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Respect on you and your mum's name. Putting the biggest spiritual hug on you both, Angela. She matters. 🕯️🤍

[@ariellediaz1227]

Jesse I am just a random human who watches you on the internet. But my heart is breaking for ya'll. Please continue to tell your community (us) of your needs. I have made some small contributions and hope to continue to be able to. Sending you so much love sweet human.

[@pinksuperstar2]

Words cannot even begin to describe what y'all, your brother, and your family are going through. I'm so so so so sorry, Jesse. When I think of an iconic, close close child and mother bond, y'all and your mom definitely come to mind

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Iconic 😭 🤍

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, dear friend

[@jessicadoneganreads]

I'm really sorry Jesse. Grief like that comes in waves and I'm glad you're doing your best to take care of yourself as well as meet your new life. I'll be sure light a candle for her as part of my practice and I'll keep your family in my thoughts. I love your mom's bags. She made beautiful things. Take care of yourself, and I'm happy you're back.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Jessica, she loves this!!! thank you :)

[@caprisep8631]

My condolences, Jesse - I am so sorry.

[@ZataraBerry]

I'm so glad you're coming back to your safe space. I pray you find the comfort you need. We welcome you back with open arms and virtual shoulders to cry on. Grief is really weird, remember to treat yourself kindly

[@JesseOnYoutube]

🤍🫂 what a beautiful fxng comment

[@jonnie7891]

Jesse I’m so sorry for y’all and y’all’s familia. Praying for y’all and everyone who loved y’all’s mother.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you Jonnie

[@AyceMcGee]

Thank y'all for sharing Suki with us and preparing the readathon in honor of her. May her memory be a blessing, and may blessings reach y'all and y'alls family.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, friend. The love you've sent is felt.

[@tjohnso89]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost both of my parents in July. It is so surreal and unbelievable to say the least. My heart goes out to you.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

T

[@thebookdreamersalley]

Hey!! As someone who lost their mum and best friend earlier in life, I'm here for you. I'm glad you could talk about that and wanted to share all this with us. I'm so sorry your family has had to go throuth racism and poverty. Those people need to be human or leave society. Of course I'll be participating in Suki's Readathon. Couldn't do otherwise. Also, my partner is not an official dog trainer, but he's amazing with dogs and has trained a few already, so if you want, you can reach out in case there's something we can help with (sorry we don't have a penny at the moment). You know I'm sorry for your loss and I send you huge bear hugs! We surely love u! X

[@maliakenyon9897]

Jesse, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have been randomly popping up in my mind over the past couple of weeks and I guess I know now why. It was so beautiful to see the glimpses you gave to us of your connection to your mom . Sending you all my thoughts, prayers and positive energy.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you so much. it is good to be thought of and seen. we appreciate knowing we have that connection to you

[@emroyka]

Deepest sympathies for y'all's loss, Jesse. Love y'all and the light y'all shine so much, I remember when y'all lost your grandmother, and now knowing y'all have lost your mother, my heart breaks for y'all. May each one of us carry y'all through all this change and grief until y'all can step into the next part of your life. The Suki Readathon is the most beautiful initiative you could choose to do, and it will be both inspired and inspiring.

[@meganmakesmagic802]

Oh, Jesse. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your incredible mom. I deeply felt and related to the truth that society doesn't care about anything except capitalism. As a chronically disabled adult myself, I totally get that. I'm thinking of you and your family and sending y'all so much love and comfort. If I have some extra 💸 left over after I'm paid this week and my bills are all set, I'll definitely contribute to your family's needs! ❤‍🩹✨Rest well, Suki. ✨

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Megan. You are magic

[@booksaremysociallife]

I'm so sorry, Jesse. May your mother rest well ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, old friend.

[@reflectiverambling1148]

I am so SO sorry for your loss. Something I'm trying to come to terms with myself is that my mother will always feel responsible and guilty for us. But one thing I also know, and from the sounds of how you speak of her, there is absolutely no way she is disappointed in you for doing what you need to do, or taking time you need for yourself, or not being where you are. You are a million miles ahead of me and I've six years ahead of you. I'm not trying to be placate, but judging from this--if /when you're ready to speak with her again that energy might be there. But it is one of love, and I hope your own understanding will transcend in ways that it could not when she was with you here in the flesh. I've just had a little more luck so that I haven't been through your experiences. For what it's worth, my mum still gives me head or back rubs at times. She's had several health issues this year, some which are scary as we're still waiting on results, but I absolutely thank the universe every single day she's still here and that these are relatively new developments. I know how lucky I am. rambling done-- what would be more helpful to you in this moment. Necessity wise or spiritually --do not discredit how important your mental health is. Things that feed the soul aren't frivolous. They help us keep going. Donation of direct money or items?

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you for the rambling. for showing up. for being you. thank you for letting us live your relationship with your momma. having the worst time making choices... thinking is so hard lately. like i'm underwater. 💔 whatever you can do, i'm grateful for. we all are. i can say a bunch of amazon items arrived in the last 3 hours (which seems wicked fast thank you everyone!!!!)

[@elleni953]

I'll definitely light a candle for her. I lost my grandmother who was one of the few safe people in my life a couple of years ago. It still hurts that she's gone. Amidst all of that, I was dealing with an acute stalking situation that was severely traumatizing. Having to hold both of those traumas and try to navigate this world without her support has been really challenging. I'm not saying I know how you feel, but i want you to know you're not alone either. I also am very upset your mom had to deal with such a violent trauma before she passed. I hope you both can rest and heal from all of this pain that was inflicted on you both. May your mother's memory be eternal 💙

[@JesseOnYoutube]

"May your mother's memory be eternal" 😭

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We hope you are safe and are feeling safe. Ppl who haven't had a stalker just don't get it 🕯️💔

[@elleni953]

@@JesseOnKZbin It's what we say in my culture (Greek) when someone passes. I've always thought it's a beautiful sentiment. Your mom mattered and she deserves to be remembered 🩵 And thank you 🩷I wish that same sentiment back to you

[@Read-alert]

I'm so sorry Jesse. I've lost both of my parents in the past 3 years, but I was never as close to them and both deaths were foreseeable, so I still can't imagine the pain y'all are feeling. I'm going to pick out some new books for November for y'all and will keep both y'all and Suki in my thoughts

[@LilyRosetheDreamer]

My deepest condolences, Jesse. I hope she’s no longer in any pain and that you’re able to grieve in peace with all your loved ones around you.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, Lily

[@cricket8875]

My mother was one of the foundations of my world, and I lost her around a decade ago. It truly is a wound like nothing else, especially when you have to put off your own grief to be everyone else's support. I'm so sorry you're going through that. But for what it's worth, I think the things you're organizing to honor her are truly beautiful. I hope you can find the breathing room to let yourself grieve soon. But even if you can't, even if you have to keep being strong for others - please be gentle with yourself. At least give yourself the freedom to feel what you feel without reservation when it's quiet and no one needs you. Please don't ever feel weak for feeling things. For loving and missing your mother. And don't let anyone else tell you when it's time to move on internally, even if the world demands you put on the show of doing it externally. May Suki rest in peace and love.

[@trulybrowne9796]

i felt this overwhelming urge to light a candle today, and now i know why. i am so sorry for your loss. thank you all for sharing your mom with us. & i will definitely be joining the readathon ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you. It means all to all of us

[@charlieloffler4713]

I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't watch the video as I just had a family member pass away recently. I just want to send condolences.

[@amytheshihtzumom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfort and peace in your time of grief.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

there has been so much comfort and love. its helping every moment.

[@Nick-hu4zw]

I'm so sorry Jess. I wish I could be there with you and hug you. I can't begin to imagine your grief. Your mom was such a strong woman.❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

aww Nick

[@sliceofmini]

Jesse .. I lost my dad at 15 and ever since then my mom and I have been a “TEAM” , I fear the day I’ll have to say goodbye to her because I’m 26 now and still not “over” my dad passing away.. any book that has a single parent and kid TEAM I’m already bawling.. seeing y’all cry had me bawling because it hurts so Fucking bad to lose your partner in crime.. I know Suki would’ve loved seeing the videos for this readathon with y’all ❤ .. Take care Jesse . P.S. your dog reaching out to you when you’re in distress is so heartwarming

[@booklovewithmelanie3102]

Jesse, I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is the hardest. I have been thinking and asking about y'all for months and I'm so sorry this was the reason. My heart is with y'all and your family, words are not enough.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you for loving us, Melanie

[@lauramcfarlane696]

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is never easy and it is even harder when they are also your best friend. So much love xx

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, Laura.

[@AshtheViking]

My heart breaks for y'all Jesse. Thank you for sharing Suki's stories with us, it's been an honour to witness the glimpses of her phenomenal spirit in your videos. Please give yourselves the space to grieve. I'll have a moment for her and your abuela in my Samhain ceremony.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We all appreciate that deeply. We're extremely grateful. Thank you, old friend

[@AverySometimesReads]

Sending y’all all the love in my heart❤️

[@JesseOnYoutube]

big squeezes

[@AbiofPellinor]

Whilst I have missed your content, I'm so glad that y'all took the time to grieve. Sending my love to y'all and your family

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Oh Abi

[@DauntlessBookReader]

Jesse I'm sorry for y'alls loss 😢 losing family absolutely sucks more than anything I lost both my grandparents back in 2016 and things hasn't been the same ever since but the community that I've found on BookTube has been great so I'm thankful for that and i hope it will give y'all a measure of comfort or whatever it is y'all need 💛💛💛 Sending lots of hugs 🫂 and good vibes

[@bex9708]

My heart breaks for y'all Jesse, Suki was an amazing woman. She always brightened my day when she joined y'all during the videos! I will light another candle and send her and y'all's family peace. I've missed y'all, I hope booktube can help with y'all's mental health. We all love y'all so much

[@JesseOnYoutube]

We appreciate your support and your kind words, thank you 😊 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@kay-ls6ec]

i’m so sorry. sudden passings are so hard. i hope y’all are holding up as best as you can ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you Kay :) We're doing aight :)

[@nache1085]

Thank y’all for sharing. Not just the info but y’all’s lovely memories and the way parts of her shine through you. I’m adding The Fifth Season to my tbr for the mom protagonist for November ❤️ rest well, Suki

[@call_me_will86]

Condolences. I'm sorry for y'all's loss. Take all the time y'all need to grieve and process. Love and healing to y'all and y'all's family. ❤🌹🙏🏾

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Will

[@dylanwickersham5610]

❤ For what it's worth I think y'all are gonna love Supernatural. It's a good time on its own, but I think there are moments that mean so much more to those of us who have a parent on the other side. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

fuckkkk its going to wreck us lmao. we are happy you're here, as always, friend

[@mothermoth719]

I didn’t know Suki, nor have I much experience with grief. But I wish you and your family all the love and support. I hope you get the time you need to grieve and I hope you and your family find stability. Lighting a candle for y'all❤

[@Averagebookwormdad]

I am so sorry for your loss, she was an amazing person. When my father died in 2020, I didn't had the chance to say goodbye. I have just moved another country with my wife, away from my family, and COVID hit. When he died, rules were at their strickest. He was an alcoholic (he passed because of it, same as his father). Our relationship wasn't the best, and he was one of the reasons I moved as far as I could. I wanted a fresh start for us, better life for our future family. Even if I try not to regret my decision (I did what I had to), I still struggle with it sometimes. I feel like I still didn't grieve. Reading was the one thing we did together with my father when we were younger. Since his passing, I found a postcard he once have sent to his parents before I was even born (didn't even know he was ever in the country (and town) I now live in). It is my bookmark as I read, and I like to think, that somehow, I take him with me on new adventures as I read. I hope you don't mind me sharing and I can't even imagine how you feel. I have always smiled when your mother appeared, because the connection of you two was so easy to feel, even just by watching your videos. I will light a candle and donate as soon as I can. I wish you strength and send my love and condolences to y'all.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

This comment means the world because of what you shared. I think often ppl (strangers) ask how close mom and I were so they know how sad to feel But when ur relationship w ur parent is complex and full of turmoil - the mourning and regret is that much more compounded So yeah...we feel you. We can imagine precisely what they was like. My gramma and I had only become wildly close the last summer she died. It was when we had finally got over how much we fought and laid it to rest. Big hugs. For yourself. Our hugs to you. Everyone's donations are why we have rent paid for the next month. Jamill got a job offer yesterday! We're finally making progress and you're part of the reason

[@Averagebookwormdad]

@@JesseOnKZbin That's amazing!

[@renee_3364]

Jesse I’m so devastated for you. I always loved your mom’s appearances in your videos and seeing the way you two were with each other… y’all seemed joined at the hip in the best way. I wish you so so so much strength in this difficult time. Trust me, you are doing the right thing by continuing something you both loved so much: I lost my mum at 14 and made a similar promise to her. I’ve never gone back on it and haven’t regretted a second of my life so far. Please know that you are always welcome here. Sending love. ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

this comment broke us in a good way. thank you for seeing us. thank you.

[@renee_3364]

❤️

[@vickysbooknook]

I’m so sorry Jesse. Mama Bowties will be missed ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Vicky

[@decembers06]

I'm sorry for your loss ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, friend

[@beckyduff]

Jesse, I am so sorry to hear of y'alls loss. I am praying for y'all 🙏🙏 I will participate in the readathon as much as I can

[@shuwei9420]

I'm sobbing so much and so angry at the world, I cannot imagine yalls pain. I have a candle, I have your wishlist, I am re-evaluating my TBR, and I wish yall peace in your grief.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

deepest, dearest thank you's, Shuwei

[@booksgurrsandpurrs]

We love ya'll & Mama Bowties. We'll be participating and lighting candles for Suki. 🫶

[@JesseOnYoutube]

that means a lot to us. thank yall

[@rachelrice9266]

Oh my goodness I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you so, so much love ❤️❤❤

[@saunatonttu93]

I was thinking about you just a few days ago actually! Sorry that you had to experience this loss, and I hope she rests well now. All the strength to you.

[@KittyxKult]

I am so so sorry. I loved watching all the close moments with y’all’s mom, she was so supportive and vibrant and I just know she is with you always. Y’all did such a beautiful job caring for her, and I hate our healthcare system. I also have fibro and other health issues and always get treated like crap, I know the intersectionality of race makes it so much worse and I’m so so so sorry❤ sending y’all so much love at this time. Please do not blame yourself, I can hear it when y’all talk about not letting her go back to michigan, y’all did absolutely everything y’all could have done

[@yvettem.holland5072]

I'm very sorry that your mom❤ died. You're in my thoughts and in my heart.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, friend.

[@hattibailey7479]

Sorry for your Lost you are in my Pray,s🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🥀🕊💔😪

[@leahvic8107]

oh Jesse, my heart is breaking for y’all. thank you for sharing the gofundme - I just donated. I will light a candle in her memory as well. keeping y’all in my thoughts.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you for the donation and for lighting a candle. lighting candles for our mama is our love language .

[@somethingbookishthiswaycomes]

Sending y'all so much love. I can't wait to make my TBR and honor Mama Bowties in November. Also looking forward to Supernatural Sundays! I watched I think the first five seasons of Supernatural and never got back to it, so I'm looking forward to eventually seeing what happened after that, it'll probs take some time to get there lol 💙💙 I'm obsessed with how many pockets she added to those bags btw, pockets are important

[@JesseOnYoutube]

she was not fuckin around with them pockets lmaoooo she would LOVE this comment. i hope we can sprint together for her readathon, Nat!

[@somethingbookishthiswaycomes]

@@JesseOnKZbin Absolutely, will be there, I'm really looking forward to the sprints!! 💜

[@danalux7592]

I’m so incredibly sorry for y’all’s loss and for what y’all are going through. I’m sending so much love and strength and healing energy🙏🏻 She and y’all’s relationship are so beautiful. I’m going to light candles for her and y’all and will keep y’all in my thoughts♥️ The read-a-thon is such a beautiful idea💚💚💚

[@pageswithpostelwait9720]

I'm so sorry, there just aren't words but I am grateful you are finding community here in booktube again. What an incredible idea to host Suki's readathon. Wishing you and your family peace and space to process.

[@bookscholar4280]

My condolences for your loss. 💚

[@KappaBooks]

I am so sorry 💜💜

[@tink5188]

I'm so very sorry. Please give yourself some grace for whatever you feel. None of it is wrong. Ride the waves when they come, and dont forget yourself in all of this. I lost my mother this year to medical error as well and i wish i could give you better comfort than this comment. A simple but direct book when you are ready.... Welcome To The Grief Club by Janine Kwoh. Hugs

[@JesseOnYoutube]

adding that to my tbr. thank you. condolences. there's something comforting about another grieving person giving soft words. its more than enough, more than i could have asked for. whats your mama's name if you're comfy sharing? we'd like to light a candle for her

[@tink5188]

@JesseOnKZbin oh thank you. That means alot to me. Her name was Vanessa💜 I'll light one for your mama as well

[@ozsaur6655]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of y'all's mother. You and your brother are in my thoughts.

[@CaughtBetweenPages]

I am so so so sorry that y’all’s beautiful, vibrant mama was stolen from y’all by a system that refuses to see the value and importance of brown women. I’ve had a candle lit for her since I heard and will keep it lit through All Saints. I will be celebrating her this month alongside you.

[@BreeShareeReads]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for ya and the family.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you Bree :)

[@crystalhadley392]

I am sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your brother during this difficult time.

[@JesseOnYoutube]

He read this and says thank you. we both do.

[@josielacey8372]

I'm so very sorry for your loss Jesse. I'll light a candle for Suki and sending so much love to y'all

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, Josie

[@sbcrra]

Jesse, I am really sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. May you persevere and may you find peace and may you and your family be enveloped in nothing but love

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you so much, we're doing our best

[@mikimcdonald6994]

I’m so sorry about your Mum’s passing. The videos with Mum were always so heartwarming. I hope you’re surrounded by supportive people. Sending love and light.

[@ririschannelx]

My condolences ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

they are felt

[@pat_7870]

🙏🏾 🙏🏾Jess I am send You my blessings and condolences. 💟 🙏🏾 We All know you were very close to your Mother. A Mother’s Love is unbreakable, priceless, precious, unconditional, a beautiful glorious bond that is there from the very beginning. Please protect yourself and Your Family health, wellbeing and mindfulness.🙏🏾🫶🏾🤗💜💞🇬🇧

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Pat

[@mackenziebrynnrap]

I know there's nothing I can really do or say to relieve you of your pain and your grief, especially with everything else you're going through along with the loss of your mother. I am sending so much love, though, and, as there isn't really anything I can do or say, especially in one comment on KZbin, I hope for you that your grieving/recovery (kinda) journey is safe, healthy, and healing

[@annelooney1090]

I'm so sorry

[@JesseOnYoutube]

Thank you, Anne.

[@Fionnghuala-l1t]

I'm so sorry for Y'all's loss. Y'all's mother sounds like an amazing person ❤

[@JesseOnYoutube]

thank you, friend.