Milton Jones - One Liners

[@jonbolton3376]

The one thing to always remember about Milton, no matter what subject he is discussing he usually has an endless collection of grandfathers.😂

[@Waynegee7]

My fave has always been Tim Vine for his one-liners!

[@dullaf4099]

I just don’t get the humour. It’s just puns and simple phrases reversed. Absolute yawn.

[@CowmanUK]

@@dullaf4099 each to their own. I find both Tim Vine & Milton Jones funny in short bursts but not sure I could sit through an entire set of either of them.

[@mawangshallhang]

@@dullaf4099 At least you're true to your username.

[@derekbland5253]

I saw him live and I was in tears. He was absolutely brilliant

[@Purecleanexteriorcleaning]

Saw a 2hr Milton jones gig and is relentless for the whole time He was also his own warm up act dressed as his grandad and on a trampoline Excellent night out

[@Blue.723]

Milton is as whacky as they come. Has me in stitches always even before he tells a joke 😂

[@NilMortifey]

I used to love episodes of 'Mock the Week' where Milton was a guest, and my favourite part was the others watching him with expressions of "I wonder where this is leading..." whenever he started a sentence. He is to that show what Bob Mortimer is to WILTY.

[@helvete983]

The Lionel Richie helium intro was awesome. The man is my hero and a musical genius.

[@electronash]

I wrote a joke in the style of Milton Jones once... "Poor Prince George fell over and hurt his knee at school while pretending to be an airplane... The Royal couple have demanded an Heir Crèche Investigation." Thanks, I'm here all week.

[@killingjon]

Nice work :)

[@electronash]

I just remembered that show is known as "Mayday" in the US and other Countries, so the joke might not cross the pond so well. lol There was an older series in the UK called "Black Box", but we won't go there.

[@electronash]

@bobbybigboyyes The reference "Heir Crèche Investigation". It's one of those jokes that if I have to explain it, then it's not half as funny. And it wasn't that funny to begin with. lol

[@electronash]

@bobbybigboyyes AFAIK, "Mayday" in the US was known as "Air Crash Investigation" in other Countries, including the UK.

[@electronash]

@bobbybigboyyes No, it was just an older version of Mayday / Aircrash. Just a lame joke, because it wasn't a very good series. It had even worse acting than the others. lol

[@adiebarrett]

Milton - like the others - puts a heap of work into his shows and some segments are pure genius. As others here mention, when he starts something, you often have no idea where it's going to end up. Except in fits of laughter.

[@laurencewinch-furness9450]

I think I work with one of this guy's relatives - he's had seven days off for grandfather's funerals this year.

[@timashwood9973]

Milton Jones, the thinking comedian’s comedian. Look at how many times he cracks up the other comedians on Mock The Week.

[@bestfit]

One of the best one liner comedians is Canada's own Stuart Francis.

[@Spiklething]

I saw Stuart Francis at the Edinburgh Fringe a few years ago and the next day saw Milton Jones. I guess I like one liner comedians

[@samuelgarrod8327]

He swam back to the shore.

[@_eclipz_]

Never heard of him before I moved to the UK. Now he's one of my favs lol.

[@annother3350]

Watch Milton Jones on Mock the Week -- his best stuff is there

[@fmillarau]

He's a legend!

[@josefschiltz2192]

Milton was a semi-regular on Mock The Week. There is a compilation of his contribution to 'Scenes We'd Like To See' - which is rather long!

[@TheGwydion777]

You might want to check out Stewart Francis. He's also a very funny one line comedian. Got sort of big in the UK, but he's from your neck of the woods. Might find him more relatable.

[@gbulmer]

It's straightforward to find out if they've done a video, and hence _do_ know of someones work. Go to their channel page and use the search 🔎 I typed in "Francis" and 🔎 found _Stewart Francis - One Liners (Reaction)_ So, to be helpful, you might like to suggest other Stewart Francis videos for them to react to. Best Wishes. ☮ _"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime"_

[@bigfrankfraser1391]

saw milton jones live, for some reason, every comedian i see live always spots me and makes a joke, noel fielding asked if he could have my sweetcorn, bill bailey asked me to brush the clouds away, nina conti had me on stage as a human puppet, but she put lag between the mouth piece and her voice because my height has a "delay" and milton jones said "good thing im not called jack, otherwise id be sweating, look at him, hes probably thinking, feee fi fo fum, get on with show already" im great for comedians, being 7'7" and a bulky guy as well makes me a great source of improv edit: sarah millican spotted me during a show and said "hes a big fella aint he, stand up for a second pet" i stood up, lighting guy shone a light on me, then sarah millican goes " id be tempted to give you a cuddle but im pretty sure id just faceplant right into your willy" paused for a moment then went "actually that sounds like a great idea"

[@stevelivesey5777]

You want to check out some Tim Vine. He's the king of one liners.

[@jasonjones3638]

Yeh Tim Vine guys, he held the world record for the most one-liners in 1-hour

[@jeanneale9257]

Funny as feck 😁🇬🇧 You guys and the comedian 😂😁😂 Love from the U.K

[@shaun-hoppy]

Tim Vines is very different oneliner he uses a lot of props in his act, and I don't know if you know Stewart Francis, a Canadian oneliner that is very popular in Britain

[@gbulmer]

You wrote _"... I don't know if you know Stewart Francis ..."_ It's straightforward to find out if they've done a video by going to their channel page and using the search 🔎 I typed in "Francis" and 🔎 found _Stewart Francis - One Liners (Reaction)_ Best Wishes. ☮ _"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime"_

[@shaun-hoppy]

@G Bulmer I didn't have time to check because many reaction channels use Dailymotion or patronage, so many of the things they react to aren't on their standard page so I dont go checking anymore, because certain videos won't always be on their KZbin channel doesn't mean the videos isn't known to them so I find it easier to ask

[@gbulmer]

​@@shaun-hoppy Fair enough. I agree, videos _might_ be on Dailymotion or Patreon. AFAIK, comments influence the YT Algorithm to recommend a channel. So by all means, comment, but don't expect the channel to answer . Life experiences have shaped my behaviour. I was a university lecturer for most of a decade, working at undergrad and postgrad levels in Computer Science and Software Engineering. We always tried to help students learn how to be self reliant. We had to triage our time between preparing material, responding to important or difficult issues which might effect an entire group, and 'time wasting'. We wore "Read the F'ing Manual" badges. Course Texts had a purpose. I was an IT consultant designing and developing software solutions to specific business problems for a couple of decades. I learned to treat everyone's time as just as, or more, precious as my own. My experience was folks responded well if I put in some preparation and effort before asking for help. After all, they were making money which would eventually benefit me. One of my old bosses regarded it as impolite, even arrogant to spend his time on things I could find out just as quickly. He said, that "you spend time asking a question, I spend just as much listening/reading, then I probably spend more responding and you listening. We'd both benefit from you finding the things you genuinely need my help with, rather than start from nothing". Most channels I follow are small. They have limited time. I'd much rather the channels make new content, rather than answer the (80% of) questions which have easy answers. That also leaves time for the 20% of important comments. I do some checks. I usually search the channel. Then my questions are more focused than "I don't know if you know". For example._" AFAICT, you have not reacted to ... on your channel. A good place to start is ..., here's a link ...". YMMV Best Wishes. ☮

[@JohnM...]

Always thought Jones looked like the 'locked in the attic' brother of Lionel Messi...

[@samuelgarrod8327]

I fucking love you two. ❤

[@lynnhamps7052]

Another British one liner comedian. Is Tim Vine....😁👍

[@NimpanZ]

Stewart Francis and Tim Vine are magnificent at one liner jokes. Check them out

[@punkpopnotdead]

tim vine is a good one liner

[@BuzzaB77]

Called my friend in North Korea to ask how he was, he said "ah ya know I can't complain".

[@Smithjones12]

He's got nearly as many relatives as columbo

[@Pappa_66]

Milton was born at his parents house, his other Grandfather mixed some "herbs" into his milk bottles. He is also in "Mock the Week" (not seen on TV) and other series. Ps. John Oliver was also in MtWeek. Best Regards From Finland!

[@config2000]

If you like Milton I recommend Tim Vine, who is great at the one-liner dad jokes.

[@malcolmbell5266]

Check out Milton at Live at the Apollo

[@martindunstan8043]

Hey there Mr +Mrs J✌️Milton is funny when he just stands there doing nothing, he's as mad as a box of frogs, Loved Mitch Hedburg such a shame he didn't think he was funny and drugs got him, he was great. Thanks you two brilliant always 👍🍻

[@lordbelvoir2543]

I have said before but ya got to watch the blue man group....I feel love👍

[@richardhargrave6082]

We love Milton over here, if its one liners, watch some Tim Vine

[@synaesthesia2010]

you need to do Tim Vine, he's a comedy God in the UK

[@Badgersj]

"Cheerios" - brand of breakfast cereal (fyi!)

[@jimisi7424]

Haa haa..quality dangerfield impression

[@PeterSmith-ww1bs]

Took your advice to listen to Mitch Hedburg. I couldn't raise a smile. I'm English, maybe it's a cultural thing.

[@GaryG1974]

So many people just do not get Milton's humour. I guess it is just one of those British things.

[@corringhamdepot4434]

Milton does some great one liners. I don't find him so funny when they try to make a thirty minute BBC Radio comedy program, mostly out of Milton taking everything literally.

[@MrEddHard]

The first series wasn't bad but I think they ran out of ideas.

[@corringhamdepot4434]

@@MrEddHard Looking at Audible, he has done at least 10 series on BBC Radio. I catch the odd episode on 4 Extra. I have the same reaction to Ivor Cutler, who is also supposed to be an absurdist comedy genius. According to the BBC.

[@grahamtravers4522]

Watch the other comedians on Mock the Week as they laugh at his material. Nobody wants to follow Milton, so he's ALWAYS last on.

[@stuartryan610]

Is it the returning officer?

[@viewfromthehighchair9391]

I thought Mitch Hedberg was the stoned version of Mitch Hedberg. 🤪

[@meshugim]

Watch Gary Delaney for one liners - adult humour

[@theoriginalteacompany1922]

He never swears ... bigger audience.

[@neilrendell5630]

Milton Jones? sounds like a type of cheese

[@helvete983]

Mitch, sadly a life cut too short. Loved that guy, but I do like the one liner comics. Steven Wright, Tim Vine as well as Milton.

[@DavePigott2000]

He reminds me more of Norm MacDonald.

[@annother3350]

Noice!!!!!!!!!!!

[@rayjennings3637]

Seek out Tim Vine. He's just as good but somewhat quicker in his presentation!

[@davew5583]

Geez, Milton doesn’t need to be stoned. I thought you’s were the stoned version of Milton.

[@bradlucy]

🤣😁🍻

[@TerryLee-sq2nj]

try Tim vine another one liner

[@flea1972]

👍😂

[@ozzyrocks666]

See him live a few years back, kills me!

[@liamhking5239]

You guys need to look at Tommy Cooper,old style British humour,and he died on stage..

[@mlee6050]

Yeah so sad and all laughed or something as thought he was still performing

[@chrisnorman1902]

Writing one-liners, you have to start at the punchline and work back. You think of a common phrase/idea/concept, and then take it out of context. Like the common phrase 'he's up there looking down on us' when someone dies - taking that and changing to an unusual context that would still fit, like a peeping Tom looking down on you. If you try to think of the start first, it's much more difficult

[@jimisi7424]

CHIRREO……;-)

[@jay71512]

Milton's funny but Gary delaney is much better.

[@mlee6050]

I like them both, in their own class

[@USERID412-k7n]

I always enjoy Milton, but I don't understand why he's in a small box in the corner with your reactions filling most of the screen. Your sense of proportion is awry.

[@jimisi7424]

Ok that intro is funny. mich is funnier, i am uk but he does not have the quality of delivery.

[@annother3350]

Ah you're not ready yet