Epic Blaze: Ridiculous Video Games That Actually Existed

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[@seansopata5121]

Maybe there needs to be"Simon Whistler: The Game". Where you have to manage multiple video channels and sponsors, and kidnap people to keep in your basement to help. The more helpers, the more channels.

[@robinsoto2700]

All the while raid shadow legends is trying to undermine your empire as you hold them off with emails

[@EricHonaker]

Recovering from digressions could be a timed button press event or something.

[@seansopata5121]

Get a stamina boost everytime you shout "Am I right, Peter??!"

[@baryonyx2574]

I'd play that

[@The_joey_hebert]

Fact boy should pay you for that idea

[@MushroomHedgehog]

Simon, the moment you said “Custer’s Revenge,” I verbally said “Oh no…” Your absolute disbelief upon realizing why it was even in the script is the most appropriate reaction I’ve ever seen.

[@jettanyx1]

Also knowing he doesn't read the scripts ahead of time...saying the game title..then talking about Weinstein...then realizing about the goal of the game...then reacting....priceless.

[@MushroomHedgehog]

@@renmcmanus It’s generally brought up as an example of why rating systems like the ESRB were needed, but okay. The fact that you had to bring feminism into it out of nowhere says a good deal of why it’s even happening to begin with. The sales or relevance don’t change how messed up the premise was in the slightest.

[@DannySalter]

@@renmcmanus Custer's Revenge is reported to have sold over 80,000 copies.

[@MrWizeazz]

@@renmcmanus You need to check your facts Opie. The game sold far more than just 200 copies, unfortunately. Check under the second paragraph after controversy: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custer's_Revenge?wprov=sfti1

[@robertwalker-smith2739]

@@renmcmanus , I direct you to Jordan Peterson's Rule 8.

[@PMW3]

Simon: "my legs have recovered from the last epic standing up..." His Collar Bone: I heard that

[@ReversibleOctopus]

and his rib!

[@channingdeadnight]

Wimp, scared to show us your magic box shelf are you?

[@christopherroberts7625]

When I was around 5 I told my grandmother that she didn't have the "hand and eye coordination" to play video games, so she promptly bought a machine and a subscription to Nintendo Power, and the first RPG I ever played. She beat Super Mario Brothers, and I could not.

[@revwroth3698]

I know this is an old post but you just reminded me that I got my first two game consoles handed down from my grandma. She gave me an Atari (2600?) and a couple years later an NES. She absolutely loved the first Zelda game and didn't hand me the NES until she'd quite thoroughly beaten it, but I never did beat that one. My grandma was cool as hell lol. I still have that NES, just gotta clean the cartridge slot, but I sold the Atari like twenty five years ago for a hundred bucks and I regret that to this day.

[@michaelhendricks9462]

So you're bragging about your complete lack of basic hand-eye coordination, and your point is what, exactly?

[@whiteshadow7584]

@@michaelhendricks9462 that they underestimated their grandma who is far better than they are at hand-eye coordination. How about you? You're bragging about your lack of reading comprehension skills?

[@kristenjackson713]

Somewhat related, my sons like to laugh at me because I'm terrible at Minecraft, etc. Then one day, I tricked them into playing Mario with me, and it was so much fun to watch how shocked they were when I demolished them.

[@JohnMuhaw-qu1wi]

You having problems at home or what? They were just trying to tell a goddamn story.

[@nicholasbucicchia9599]

Simon: "why do you have DVD's, did you get stuck in a time warp?" Simon Immediately After: "yeah, i like read paper books instead of a kindle". Lol

[@toomanyopinions8353]

I mean paper books still have a major market unlike DVDs so..

[@richardtherichard26]

@@toomanyopinions8353 and yet my book shelf is bare while my dvd shelf is full. Bottom line is, people don’t like to get rid of things especially if they fit nicely in a shelf.

[@timmanning5206]

Yeah but books have the same content in paper or e format. You can watch extras on a dvd but not on a streaming service

[@gandalf_thegrey]

thought that myself lol while I do not collect any DVDs or games physically since the rise of streaming and steam I can absolutely understand why people collect DVDs. Or books. First, it's not "complicated and slow" to use a dvd... It's booted up in 30 seconds (including putting the disk in), so equal to a streaming service. Second, people like to collect, the human brain is just wired like that. We like to have things simply for the sake of having them and third... while the English market is by far the biggest and almost everyone is able to participate (I'm not a English native as well and still here) a service like Netflix is utter bullshit in small markets. The have the Netflix Originals, which are more miss than hit and just a handful of films and series. And most of them are shit. I waited for almost a decade to be able to stream Scrubs, my favourite series (grew up with it), without my dvds I wouldn't have watched it since it has gone off air where I live. And I live in one of the biggest movie markets (from the money made with it) in the world: Germany.

[@landofalwayswinter666]

Well, mass-printed books have been popular for like 5.5 centuries while the DVD was popular for… maybe 20 years? So, not even remotely the same thing lol

[@NathanCassidy721]

I made this suggestion once and I’ll suggest it again: Have Danny write a script about the marketing escapades of Acclaim. It is a comedy gold mine.

[@Kiefsti]

I have no idea what you're talking about. Danny tell me in a script please.

[@hudsoncampbell5064]

Danny!!!

[@rielwhittle846]

Such a good topic!!!

[@NathanCassidy721]

@@Kiefsti I won't spoil it for you but Acclaim was a video game publisher that pretty "legendary" in retro gamer circles.

[@Jeteye2844]

Oh dear god that would be amazing. I fully support this idea. Do it Danny, please!!!

[@PaulMcElligott]

“Stop having opinions you don’t understand, Whistler!” That would be end of Business Blaze as we know it.

[@brainblaze6526]

true

[@mladlenarostenko2041]

@@brainblaze6526 Hey don't bash on "The wall" ! While it might not be Pink Floyd' best album, it did contain a song that still pisses off many teachers:) specially in privet boarding schools in the UK!!! I had that experience when I was in upper sixth (I think I'm the same age as u) and I suggested this song for the "House Music Competition", but our housemistress thought it would be more appropriate for us to sing "Cabaret" by Liza Minnelli (dressed almost as "ladies of the night"!)🤔😆 "Another brick in the wall" is still a controversial song in Ur home country( and in others) for it's liberating , modern , so past industrial age lyrics... surely even u would agree that it deserves a recognition and appraisal?!

[@malachicook3321]

Yawn

[@iamnolegend483]

Every time skeletor appears with “WHAT” and the “Joke’s on you I’m into that shit” I laugh 😂

[@rubberbudgie69]

No more skelator anymore for some reason :(

[@iamnolegend483]

@@rubberbudgie69 :(

[@FlashmanVC]

In my home environment where I can choose to do whatever I want when I want, Simon is one of the few people on Earth who can hold my attention for an hour and twenty minutes simply talking without interruption.

[@josaking717]

"I feel like the answer is racism, but that doesnt feel like enough!" LMFAOOO simons reactions are gold

[@timscarrott8919]

Other KZbinrs: [[14minutes for full video]] Danny: [[writes 14minute introduction]]

[@c4b3rjo4]

Did Danny write a 14 minute Intro, or does Simon have the attention span of a a Gerbil on speed that loves tangents?

[@jhsrt985]

💖💖

[@jhsrt985]

@@c4b3rjo4 Yes

[@flowertrue]

I was the person typing in games from magazines. Some were in BASIC. Some were in what they called Machine Language, which was basically columns and columns of 3-digit numbers eventually graduating to 2- digit hexadecimal. Each game was usually around 8-10 pages and my mom, my brother and me all took turns reading aloud so the other could type. It was good practice at both, actually. The program contained a checksum with a matching number in the magazine to help prevent errors. It was tedious, yes, but we did it. Special props to my mom who didn't play videogames and only did it to help us. Love you, Mom! Edit: and yes we used regular blank audio cassette tapes. There were special cassettes supposedly better for data, and I always tried to get those, but I have no idea if they were actually better. They worked in audio tape recorders just fine.

[@MrGrimsmith]

I remember entering those games and sometimes the errors lead to some hilarious errors such as changing gravity to 10 times normal. The biggest bonus to basic though was you could readily adapt the code for one platform to others with a bit of know how and experimentation. Good times :) I did try some of the allegedly better casettes myself, I don't recall any difference to be honest. I ended up sticking with the cheaper ones before moving to 5.25" disks.

[@ExperimentIV]

what computer were you typing all the games into? i want to learn commodore basic and ASM because im an insufferable dweeb

[@johnpatz8395]

I’m right there with you, in fact I actually sold a game to, as I recall, Byte magazine one. I started out on computers in the later 70’s as my High School had several Commodore PET computers, as well as an APL terminal that was networked with several other schools in the region. We had a computer club that raised money and we bought a Super PET for the school so we could learn PASCAL, FORTRAN and COBOL, in addition to the Basic and APL we already had learned. A year or so later we bought a 5 1/2 in dingle sided standard density drive for the Super PET. I always laugh thinking about that, as that single 5 1/2 inch drive was larger and heavier than most full PCs today, short of full tower cases. It weighed in at over 50 Lbs as I recall, but back then it, and it’s anemic storage capacity seems like the ultimate tech and absolutely massive amounts of data, since as you mention, before that everything was stored on cassette tapes, although when I first started we were mostly limited to punch cards. Years ago I had wanted to get a Commadore PET, just as a reminder of how I got started in computers, and while they didn’t cost a lot, they weighed so much that shipping was far more than I was willing to pay for basically what would be a huge paperweight. I sometimes miss those days, but boy, I’ve never missed those horrific chiclet keyboards the older PETs all had.

[@gperrin9050]

As a child, I once spent hours punching in code for what I thought was a sailing game. After many failed attempts I finally got it to work. Unfortunately, it was just an animated picture of a sailing boat. Good times.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

@@johnpatz8395 I'm jealous...we had access to the school systems mid frame. We could program in machine language..and the game played out in numerical returns (like 6m/s) and similar. It kinda had you stuck programing games like lunar lander. Of course that was probably our lack of imagination. My first home computer was a TI 99 4 a. There was a hardware hack that took out the slowdown loop to increase the speed by about 10x. Some VP at Texas instruments who decided that fast home computers would scare people so it was intentionally slowed down.

[@FullMetalPanicNL]

Simon: "Mystique should be investigated" Activision Blizzard: " Hold my beer...."

[@Reklaimart]

Maybe he could do a "Worst Video Game Companies"

[@EShirako]

Double-super-bonus beer: Yesterday, Activision-Blizzard was revealed to have had a woman apply for a security 'penetration tester' job in 2015. One rep asked if she was lost, another asked where her boyfriend was, and another commented on her t-shirt from cybersecurity firm "SecureState" that said "Penetration Expert". You can guess how it went from here for her. Durr-hurr-hurr jokes about "how much of an expert she was on penetration" and asked if she liked penetration and how often did she get penetrated? And so on, of course. She didn't even report it back then because back then, I mean...we all knew they WERE dirty frat-boys who made a company. Even we customers knew. Be honest. She didn't report it so she wouldn't end up "One of THOSE girls" and totally-not-blacklisted by the security industry. So two years later, Blizzard reaches out to Saggita HPC for security services...hiring penetration testers, yanno? Guess who was COO at Saggita! When the contract offer came in, she mentioned how she had been treated at the 2015 con and said that she was not interested in working with Blizzard. To my surprise, I just read that the contact was made on "International Women's Day", and Saggita HPC's CEO responded to say roughly "So, here's what you did to my company's COO. We believe her, and Do Not Approve of Blizzard's representatives' actions. Rather than not do business with Blizzard, we are committed to combating inequality and will do so with some conditions. 1: Pay a +50% 'Misogyny fee', the proceeds of which will be donated. 2: Blizzard will become a Gold Sponsor of the "Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing 2017 conference." This one is verbatim from the Vice article: "Condition #3: A formal letter of apology from the Blizzard C-suite addressed to my COO, along with verification that all employees have undergone equal opportunity and sexual harassment training in 2017 Q1.” "We decided to post a redacted screenshot of the email to Twitter to let other prospective clients know that we don't tolerate misogynistic bullshit, but also to let Blizzard know that we were dead serious," Mitchell told Waypoint. Anonymous sources inside Blizzard did confirm receipt of that email. Mitchell said that after Gosney's email, Blizzard was "eager" to get her on the phone with their lawyers. "They made it clear that they were not interested in agreeing to any of our terms, just a lot of empty promises that they were taking the report 'seriously,' that it would be investigated internally, and assured me that they do conduct sexual harassment training," she said. "Ultimately it felt like they were more interested in gauging their own legal exposure and placating me." Blizzard declined to comment. ------ So...Bliz REALLY likes their Hold-my-beer brand of beer I guess! Or is it "Wait, hold muh other beer too!"? And it doesn't at all seem like anyone got training on how to NOT sexually harass women. Maybe that's the issue...they keep going to their sexual harassment trainer, but now that Cosby's out of jail, the Bliz folks simply can't level up any more in their "Sexually Harassing Women" skill! We'll see. Congrats to anyone who reads this whole mini-epic-post...sorry Bliz does so much stupid stuff that even snarkiness requires a "No, it's even worse than that" reply of book length.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

@@EShirako damn, I figured it was bad, but damn that is doubling down on the stupidity.

[@echonovember636]

@@Reklaimart It would just be an hour of how horrible EA has been for games.

[@enisra_bowman]

@@echonovember636 na, normaly they do research and don't relate to whinery that ignore ... basicly most others wich are WAY worse on all Levels but then you would need to admit you where telling years old "jokes"

[@ClassicRiki]

It’s absolutely insane, the amount of things that Simon is not only oblivious to but also seems to think that everyone else is as well. He definitely does it just to cause outrage such as this…Allegedly.

[@stephanhuebner4931]

Yeah, it's like he's the one who has been living under a rock this whole time.

[@Laura-S196]

Simon: “You gave me a lot of money” Me: “Use some of that money to fix the SW sign”

[@amandajones661]

It's a broken fuse and since his sign broke during the pandemic he can't get it fixed right now. He mentioned on another video that after the pandemic he's going to try to get it fixed.

[@agateplanet]

Omg I thought it was the W&S logo of the Western and Southern Financial Group. Probably a promotional aid from the new up-and-coming sponsor of the show and Simon had hit the bigtime.

[@MisterPlanePilot]

​@@amandajones661Surprise, he's just being lazy now and not getting it fixed. Rip sign

[@theolufson]

Yesterday I jokingly said “Joke’s on you I’m into that shit” in a social setting, and I can assure you it did NOT have the same effect…

[@jonnywatts2970]

😂

[@slcpunk2740]

Everyone was like "OGBB!"?

[@theolufson]

@@slcpunk2740 If only! 😂

[@VladimirPutin-p3t]

Good thing you didn't let slip "daddy always taught us to be proud of our cocks..."

[@MrOrchidion]

Simon: You can dominate your grandma! You're stronger than her, go dominate her! Us: Uh... Simon?.... Skeletor: What?

[@TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans]

Your profile picture is incredible.

[@anarchyantz1564]

I know right? I was expecting Simon to be "Dominated" by someone's grandma instead :P *Cue whip noises and Skeletor saying, Joke's on you, I'm into that shit!*

[@goaway3717]

Simon never met my grandma or he'd have never uttered those words. Simon, go out back and cut me a switch from the willow tree.

[@TJDious]

I am so sick of grandmas being accused of being bad at video games. My Grandma played Atari with us when I was a kid and she was good. She beat everyone in Pac Man and she was the first person I ever saw get through the top line in Breakout. LITTLE RESPECT, BLAZE BOY

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

My grandmother was the best Dr. Mario player I've ever met. She could start the game on 9-5 and win every single time. She beat everyone in my family in Vs. mode.

[@moo-snuckle]

@@OtakuUnitedStudio no doubt, my friends old ass mom was a wizard at dr. mario also.

[@stevendrake3155]

There is a grandma who plays and posts videos about Skyrim.

[@aceofspades9503]

My grandma wouldn't have known the difference between an atari and the TV console, but I have a slightly older friend whose grandma was a huge NES JRPG fan. Their NES was very much a family system- she played while they were at school.

[@anarchyantz1564]

When I used to raid with my friends from all over Europe on World of Warcraft, we had our friend, his father and his Grandfather play. His Grandfather was 91 and a bloody good hunter! Not only that but was hilarious when we were all on team speak during it. Sadly he passed away last year though.

[@Cman04092]

Hey Simon, not all grandma are shit at video games. 20 years back, My grandma got me into gaming. We would play her NES, mostly the original Legend Of Zelda, Doctor Mario, and the adventures of Lolo. My grandma is why I'm a gamer and she would beat us so much back then. I mean, she can't now, shes fricken 85, but 20 years ago, she was the GOAT. I tried to show her the latest Zelda on the switch. She didn't understand how it was a game because it was to complex. She told me to shove off and went back to watching her soaps, lol.

[@adrianmagnus3355]

Every other KZbinr: I know you guys don't like super long videos, so I split this into a 3 part series... ergo I want more money Danny and Simon: Let's make this episode into a movie

[@mattw.6726]

Simon, your "Don't Buy This" should be YOU writing the script and Danny reading it. Make it happen!

[@thefool8750]

this would be great! I’d love to see it

[@jerard1979]

I thought Simon's "Don't Buy This" was regular Business Blaze.

[@NotouchJzargo]

I need this in my life. Danny and Sam must rise up out of the basement and enslave Simon to make a video.

[@brendancall8027]

i think the best way to do this is if danny when he goes on a tangent its all about the basement and he films it in a basement

[@skynyrdjesus]

Even better, Sam writes the script, Danny presents, and Simon sprinkles in coke fueled edits. I would say fine vintage memes, but I feel like those would get rolled into the script

[@Darkflowerchyld718]

I imaged Danny laughing harder and harder everytime Simon said "Oh my God". You guys are legends!

[@613aristocrat]

The thing with physical media, is that you own the actual copy and it is not in someone else's custody. Sites close down, but DVDs remain viable for while.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

They will eventually degrade, but you can always make copies of them to keep them indefinitely.

[@rodh1404]

The most important thing is whether the product is DRM free. If it is, you can have the convenience of an electronic copy along with the security of having as many physical backups as you want. And then there are games that require an online connection to some company owned server in order to play them, and when that server shuts down so does the game regardless of whether you have a physical copy or not.

[@WildBluntHickok]

@@rodh1404 With the games you can just hack it to not look online, or download someone else's hack (and possibly get virused, so watch out). Unless we're specifically talking about multiplayer-only games that have never released server software.

[@robinderoos1166]

And google screws you over...

[@almostanengineer]

@@rodh1404 most of the online games have software to launch your own servers, when the official ones are closed, unofficial community ones will take the place.

[@slayingroosters4355]

The nerdiest thing I’ve ever heard Simon say is “I’m gonna take on 17 Borg cubes with a runabout”

[@silentdrew7636]

AKA: putting Janeway and sisko in the same ship.

[@--enyo--]

Oh man, I remember playing ‘Chiller’! Like Danny I played it as a kid and loved it. But yeah. Thinking back that was pretty intense. Somehow it just didn’t really register when I was seven or so.

[@overwatchcuda5718]

"The Holy Trinity of Blaze Boys. 🙏"

[@EricHonaker]

I'm not taking complaints about the spelling of place names from a native of a country that pronounces "Worchestershire" as "WOOS-ter-sher."

[@ErwinPommel]

Worcestershire*

[@fraserwood2600]

Eric. Surely. War-chest-uh-shyer

[@JohnGalt916]

@@ErwinPommel thank you because there's no way I knew what he meant without the unnecessary edit.

[@ErwinPommel]

@@JohnGalt916 Just doing my civic duty. No need to thank me.

[@moniquemoen7125]

Isn't pronounce Wooster...?

[@ignitionfrn2223]

14:30 - Chapter 1 - Custer revenge 22:30 - Chapter 2 - Chiller 29:25 - Chapter 3 - Don't buy this 40:00 - Chapter 4 - King james bible 48:15 - Chapter 5 - Penn & teller smoke mirrors 57:30 - Chapter 6 - The worst game in the world 1:14:05 - Chapter 7 - The guy game

[@Greg-TC]

Doing the lord's work- the blaze lord's!

[@tashakirwood8468]

I love when Danny and Simon explain the same thing, I find it fun that they are one the same page.

[@ashleytolbert9862]

😊😊😊

[@seanrichards7421]

I read Matts Millions as a child in year 6. My older cousins made the games bedazzled and plants vs zombies and created pop cap games company that they went on to sell for millions. I always recall matts millions when i think of them. I thought I was the only person who ever read that book in surrey.. you've made my day Whistler. You're a legend 🙌 👏

[@xander8in]

I know this comment is over a year old but,hey. Matt's Million was a tv show as well in the UK. I didn't know there was a book but now I've looked in to it, I think I'll read it. The bloke that did the show also did Bernard's watch, which was amazing

[@gennystout8952]

I still play plants vs zombies to this day.....I love it

[@liammarshall5047]

​@@xander8inI remember them working out the interest accrued and being amazed! It was a great show I forgot all about.

[@ltbeefy9054]

This isn't a epic blaze. It's a omega epic blaze. 1hr 20mins, my god.

[@riotson]

No kidding! I was watching and thought "Sadly we just be nearing the end soon" nope! 45 minutes in another 35 to go!! HAPPY FRIDAY

[@ktlemongrass5129]

I was excited to see this comment only 15min in - that is Omega

[@joshts00]

Hahaha holy shit I didn't even realize I was 36 minutes into it so far. I read your comment and was like "whaaaatt no way". But, yes, way, apparently.

[@AurickLeru]

Only thing is, it'd be probably half the size if Simon didn't keep going off into left field after every other sentence. And yet he still complains (either seriously or jokingly) about the length of these episodes. The tangents just get tiresome after a while when he keeps doing it so often for so long.

[@Stormynormy42]

My wife decided she was gonna get in bed a bit early when I told her how long today's blaze was. F1 weekends are when she gets to sleep in the longest because I'm up early (watching from the US) and our kid loves watching racing with me, so he doesn't wake her up, and she saw it as an opportunity to add even more to that lol

[@michaelmurphy2786]

Despite being only a few months older than Simon, I remember trading a cassette copy of Spyhunter on my british playground after I'd copied it in my sisters stereo. I also remember using a pencil to respool my games. Now I feel old.

[@nicholashylton6857]

OMG! You and me too! Until you mentioned it, I had totally forgotten about copying a cassette with an ordinary tape player way back when. Fortunately, I managed to convince my mum to buy me a five-and-a-quarter floppy drive.

[@joseybryant7577]

I played the Xbox remake of Spyhunter! I miss it terribly, because I loaned it to someone and they didn't return it. Amazing game.

[@wut274]

When are we getting "Business Balze: The Game - O.G.B.B.'s Only - Smash that pre-order button!!"??? 😂😂🤣

[@xx7secondsxx]

Nothing will EVER beat a hardcover edition of a book. The feel and smell.

[@wingerding]

I feel like paperbacks are much easier to hold and read.

[@AnamLiath]

Douglas Adams had a text game called "bureaucracy" where one was buried in permits and minutia (including receipt of an unpurchased llama). It was actually quite funny and wholly maddening, as you'd expect.

[@katestewart-taylor9736]

We had a copy. The descriptions of the cockatoo were hysterical

[@MisF1998]

Sounds like Proto-Papers please

[@degtyarev708]

"You dont just go into gta... and tell it to load faster" Thats actually what someone did a few months ago. A randomly curious programmer found the programming mistake that caused GTA's absurd loading times, fixed it himself and reduced the loading time to a small fraction of what it was. Rockstar responded and was supposed to include it in an official patch. At some point.

[@johnpatz8395]

They did, which is surprising considering how many simple bugs games come out with the same bugs that earlier games, on the same engine have that mod makers managed to fix within minutes of the earlier games release, one if the more recent examples in FallOut 76 bugs that were present in every earlier game which Bethesda used the same game engine for, not to mention even while they port Skyrim to every entropic device short of microwaves, they’ve never included the simple fixes for the bugs. It’s truly disgusting and shows just how little they care about the products they put out.

[@mrfooledyaa5430]

They also paid the lad something like 10k.

[@liambitchezz]

They banned people who used his Code on PC, to R* it was a breach of IP, they never paid the kid and they never said it was going to be fixed, they straight banned people and threatened to sue the guy over his original github Post. Where do you get this " yeah they paid him 10k it's gunna be in an update." If anything PC load times on ssd have gotten worse progressively with each Update.

[@comettamer]

Allegedly

[@RHCole]

Load the single player first, then the multiplayer. Seriously, time it. Way faster that way.

[@maximilianvonspee9329]

You know you're succeeding at life when your youtube channel is sponsored by one of your own business ventures

[@Krahazik]

a business venture that came into existence because of that same said channel, full circle there

[@Mister_MS.PAC-MAN]

@@Krahazik self-licking ice cream cone 🍦

[@badgercrafts2915]

Still have DVDs, and books, and boardgames because our internet isnt always the best 🥰

[@Kiefsti]

I know some Badger's in my area, so I just assume you have as shitty internet as my town lol

[@ChrisTian-ed8ol]

Same, heck, I still have some VHS tapes. Edit: and yes they still work.

[@RHCole]

Same.

[@Kiefsti]

@@ChrisTian-ed8ol Oh wow. I thought I was the last person with VHS and a player. I still GoldenEye 007, and a working N64

[@janedunlap6879]

@@Kiefsti Well, Goldeneye is GOAT. I can't imagine any game ever being better. It's worth keeping N64 around for it. My hubby and I still have both our NES, and they work.

[@girhen]

Hey, Desert Bus for Hope is a good use for that game. A sketch comedy crew has raised millions in the last 14 years by playing the game for longer as people donate, live streaming it, and doing sketches the whole time. They pass off the controller over time.

[@kenzieloui]

1:09:00 the attitude about the client/sponsor is literally every client that needs animations at my job... they also think theyre pros in animation and I'm like FINE you can have a powerpoint slideshow if you keep this up, Janet

[@Barph]

The TV show Simon is talking about is "Penn & Teller's Fool Us", where magicians around the world try fool P&T with new magic tricks they can't figure it out to win a trophy and a spot on their show in Las Vegas, giving them a huge boost on their magic career.

[@mysterysmilegirl7302]

Love all the little details Sam puts into his editing! He always delights me in small ways, adds so much!

[@samuel_avila]

Thank you!

[@fredbowles4721]

Simon, Penn does all the talking, Teller does all the "magic" basically. It's like Danny doing all the writing and you doing the talking.

[@brendonwood7595]

I think Showmanship would be a better description for what Penn provides.

[@davidhopkinson6647]

And everyone knows who the better magician between the two really is. :)

[@CAMacKenzie]

Part of the reason Custer had a good rep in late 19th century U.S. was his excellent performance as a cavalry officer during the Civil War, which earned him a brevet rank, first, of Brigadier General (at age 23) and then Major General of volunteers (age 25...his highest permanent rank was Lt.Col.) By the way, Custer is supposed to have had an affair with a Cheyenne girl (teen at the time) named Mo-nah-se-tah and had a son named Yellow Bird with her. She had been captured after a battle in which her father had been killed, so one might wonder how consensual it was. Libbie Custer apparently knew about this and forced him to give her up, but nevertheless, after his death wrote books and gave lectures glorifying his memory.

[@ToddMikosh]

In the early 90's, there was a Freeware game on the Apple IIGS called "Senseless Violence," which was like Frogger except with a baby, all the deaths were excessively grotesque, and all your deaths stay on the screen while you try again.

[@ThePhenix1]

90% of media i watch now is streaming, but the dvd collection me and my dad made when i was a kid will never be thrown out

[@drboze6781]

The trouble with streaming is that when you decide you want to watch a certain movie, it's no longer available. If you have the DVD or Blu-Ray, you load it and go.

[@Macsavage1975]

Keep the faith brother lol

[@MysteicVoltronus]

Actually the PC version of GTA5 did have a user find out why the loading was so slow, fixed it with a unofficial patch. The best part is later on Rockstar looked at what he did and just like, "Oh, that does fix it. Looks good. Release as real update."

[@theAessaya]

Not only released the patch, but also acknowledged the author and paid out $10k of bug-bounty to them. Very well-handled.

[@rinromao5338]

“Actually” *neck beard intensifies*

[@samanthanicholson2648]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE INCREDIBLY LOOOONG BLAZE SESSIONS! ❤️😀🙌

[@onidaaitsubasa4177]

Imagine if someone made a modern VR version of Chiller with realistic graphics, it would be so sadistic and gruesome

[@--enyo--]

It was fun, though.

[@KWood13]

we have a ton of DVDs for when the internet goes out or we go up to the cabin (no internet and terrible cell reception). Also, a bunch of them are movies that would cost extra to watch on-demand so we buy the DVD second-hand for like a dollar and then we have it for as long as we want.

[@elizabethashley42]

My mom actually gave me all of my childhood VHS tapes for my kids. It's awesome because some of this stuff still isn't on streaming services and it's super convenient if the wifi is on the fritz.

[@PaulMcElligott]

Teller’s onstage silence predates his partnership with Penn. It was his method for dealing with hecklers. And the “Fool Us” TV show is really just a showcase for the magicians appearing on the show. The game show aspect gives them a format to pitch to the TV executives. Also, if they gave away the trick, they’d never get magicians to appear on the show.

[@suedenim]

It's REALLY really a showcase for Penn and Teller first and foremost. Penn has said the only reason they do TV is to sell tickets for their live Vegas show. Even a successful TV show makes them only a fraction of what the live performances bring in.

[@suedenim]

@@PaulMcElligott Yeah, I agree with you, wasn't trying to be argumentative.

[@Kiefsti]

17:30 Simon, I genuinely appreciated your reaction to the Custer game 💕 My gr-gr-gramma was a Hunkpapa survivor.

[@ladygrndr9424]

.... So, I learned to code basic when I was four, by copying games out of a spiral bound book into our Atari 400. It was a massive pain, especially since 1) You couldn't just fix an error, you had to execute it and if it didn't work, START ALL OVER AGAIN, LINE BY LINE; and 2) My dad wouldn't let me record the finished game code onto one of his magnetic tapes. So, I had to write whatever game I wanted to play, by hand, every single day. And the "game" was something like watching a cursor do the moves you had told it to, to navigate around a box on the screen. If you did it right, it got out of the box. This video brought back so much childhood trauma. My own son has no clue how good he has it.

[@biggybro4124]

I cobbled together a working pc when i was 9 out of the carcasses of several of my dad's older broken computers. I took them apart and brute force tried the pieces together until I had a "working" pc. It only displayed green in an age of full color. But I was rewarded with Age of Empire 2 :) In 2021 I built my son a 3060 ti pc with all the rgb (for the overclock boost). No idea how good they have it.

[@Agent_802]

Thanks!

[@nathansmith891]

Netflix will never take my DVDs down.

[@Rok_Satanas]

Disc rot will though.

[@baeleth]

Go to an actual Penn and Teller performance. These days, they will often do a trick, then show how they did it. It's really cool. Also, on Fool Us, you're right that they are keeping the secret of the tricks, but they aren't just assuming Penn is telling the truth when he says they know. He chooses his words very carefully when he tells the contestant that they know how it was done. He's saying specific things to drop hints as to how they think it was done. I've seen episodes where the performer says they're wrong and they speak without microphones, ending in the magician getting a win because they did fool Penn and Teller.

[@theboyoofoly]

Simon: I've killed anyone in real life Me: Allegedly Simon: Allegedly Same page :)

[@popecorkyxxiv2363]

Teller never talks because he's the one doing most of the tricks. Penn meanwhile never shuts up and is constantly demanding your attention which gives Teller the room he needs to pull off his tricks.

[@kelliegroves3952]

Half the time I see the long video time and click regardless of the title/subject just for Simon's tangents. Legendary.

[@philvanderlaan5942]

Simon: you screwed up the talking points I’m not paying you. Simon: what ? You are me , we’re the same person! Simon: to F-ing bad I’m not sponsoring me any more .

[@christinebenson518]

It's Simon arguing with one of his clones.

[@katajha831]

My books are my pride. Also dvd's not bad when the interwebs is down.

[@moo-snuckle]

as stan lee said, books are like boobs. its nice to see on your phone or comp, but holding i prefer holding a real one in my hand

[@dracoargentum9783]

Actually, the last time our internet went out for any extended period of time, I pop a DVD into my computer's disc drive, only to find out this computer's DVD player required internet for "some essential function" (honestly I bet it's to update ads)

[@katajha831]

@@dracoargentum9783 I have an OLD dvd player we keep for those times. Although I live in Minnesota and the longest I have ever been with out here is an hour. Good power grid.

[@KlaximumSkroeft]

watched Band of Brothers on dvd for the first time with the wife when we moved house. Good shit.

[@dracoargentum9783]

@@katajha831 I had a potable DVD player upstairs; I soon went to bed anyways.

[@SigmundFred7]

I still have a huge DVD/Blu-Ray collection Simon... Does this mean I am no longer a legend?

[@Macsavage1975]

No sir I would say your a traditional legend .

[@kristynkazumi]

The growth in your on screen personality and energy throughout the years is fabulous. And hilarious. You can brighten even the dullest days. Now go “bang on” (is that a British phrase or a Simon phrase?) about everything blaze!

[@kristynkazumi]

Also, we still have and ABSURD amount of VHS tapes.

[@dizzle522]

"Insane Racism" is a TRIPLE redundancy. Its STILL a hilarious phrase.👍🏾

[@kcollier2192]

Custer's Revenge immediately came to mind when I saw this video's title- glad to see that proper research was done to discover it.

[@krkbeats007]

Simon this episode was literally a feature film 😂😂😂😂

[@Krahazik]

to short for a feature film, need another hour.

[@amandajones661]

Whoa!!! 1 hour and 20 minutes! This is amazing! Buckle up blazers!!

[@shallendor]

Oregon Trail is a super fun educational game!

[@Timthevapeman44]

I feel like Simon had a very real experience with Game of Thrones on a plane. He was pretty into that bit 🤣

[@christinarose3002]

Let’s be real. We are all hear for the Whistler freestyle stand up.

[@thejudgmentalcat]

Holy shit 1 hour 20 minutes and 28 seconds of The Blaze! It's like Christmas (but not)!!

[@skillganon606]

I'd vote for this as a high holy day.

[@jelizavetavasiljeva9825]

1,20 and not even monetized 😂

[@cartoonkelly7924]

I still have a massive DVD collection. I can’t afford every streaming service an there are some obscure shows that you have to rely on either a physical copy of it or hope that KZbin hasn’t blocked the blurry home video recording because of content ID.

[@FluffieXStarshine]

I mean ... don't most people still have DVD and CDs? It wasn't that long ago they were new and omg. We still have VHS tapes and music cassettes in my house. I remember my first CD was something for school , and I didn't own a cd player yet, and our computer was still on floppy... so the teacher had to burn a copy of the song we were learning to a cassette for me

[@cartoonkelly7924]

@@FluffieXStarshine Simon probably thinks we're all Luddites.

[@VampireSexGoddess]

Same here. I have a DVD collection because my favorites are not on streaming services or were removed. Not to mention it's very reliable when the media is constantly added and removed. And if the internet goes down, something to watch.

[@richardtherichard26]

Still kicking myself for not bringing my dvd set of the tv show “psych” with me when I moved. It used to be on Netflix so I figured I didn’t need them and now it’s not on any streaming services and I can’t watch it.

[@cartoonkelly7924]

@@richardtherichard26 that sucks. Have you checked eBay to see if someone’s getting rid of any?

[@missmishka8379]

Don't care how late I am to comment on this. 80s born American here. Samantha Fox was an icon. You say her name & I immediately remember Naughty Girls Need Love Too, Touch Me & the party dance anthem, I Wanna Have Some Fun. The videos are on here, find them, learn them, love them. I loved everything about her & I did want to be just like her when I was all of 8 years old.

[@DrewishAF]

Remember back in the days when you would get posters of your favorite bands, hot girls, shelves full of alcohol bottles you were "too young" to have drunk, and an assortment of road signs, cones, and highway orange/white barrels WITH THE FLASHING LIGHT strewn across your room from the hoodlum shenanigans? Now I just have kids and a few find memories randomly placed around the house/basement...and some interesting stories for my wife about where some of these things came from.

[@psycofire93]

The "but look" spongebob memes were quality, Sam. Great work my man.

[@coffinsmokej7408]

That "does what it says on the tin" comment just made me understand a line in one of my favorite songs. Thank you Simon. Don't get sued

[@cortos_9733]

what song is that?

[@coffinsmokej7408]

@@cortos_9733 sick of losing soulmates

[@loudtim265]

Leisure Suit Larry was a great series of “adult” games. I loved it!

[@static-audio]

I remember this... erm someone told me about it cough cough

[@ChopStickSoSushi]

@Home Mycology 47:26

[@hannahbaxter8825]

This one sprang to my mind as well

[@gowest7797]

I feel like you missed a big one, leisure suit Larry. This game was hysterical. Maybe you should do a whole show on ridiculous titles with adult themes.

[@Onewheelordeal]

Literally thought this whole episode would just be about LSL

[@DrDipsh1t]

The only game I've played where I died from a sexually transmitted infection 😂

[@alantyndall85]

@@DrDipsh1t You can also lose by using the toilet and not washing your hands. Which I think is also the same toilet where you pick up the STD.

[@DrDipsh1t]

@@alantyndall85 I remember going to get the wine bottle from the liquor store to take back to my wife and the cabbie chugged it and killed us drunk driving 😂

[@jimmurphy6095]

Thank you. I was looking for this. How many Naugy's had to die to cover that door? :) Great memories!

[@minagica]

Omg, Simon pre-reading the text in the middle of the vid 😂😂😂 I certainly understand why, tho.

[@theHotpointHoodlum]

This was a heady bit, had to take it in five chunks…. With breaks for today I found out, mega projects, side projects, biographics, geographics, and the casual criminalist those are among my top tenz

[@Sasquatch_Driver]

I love the Rotting Turtle, my wife likes it, and my mother fainted when she found out the name.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

Simon: 'We can do this and charge for it. Oh it won't make money.' BB Legends: 'You underestimate our ability to make you eat your words.'

[@martinturner5484]

Haven't even hit 10 min and Simon has already assaulted me with the idea that someone might not like Pink Floyd and cheese and pickle sandwiches. I can already see where this blaze is going.

[@GPandzik]

You laugh at the idea of typing in the code for games, but that was how I got started in programming. When I was 11 or 12, my dad handed me a book of "Over 100 Games You Can Write Yourself!" and said I could play any game I could write -- on my computer running MS-DOS 6.2.2 & Windows 3.1.1 For Workgroups. Kids these days have no idea how good they have it. I still have nightmares in QBASIC.

[@50factsabout]

In the graveyard level on chiller, you are shooting pushchairs / strollers with babies inside....not quite sure how that is better lol. Also it was released on the NES, not the SNES

[@LizRealGirlBeauty]

Simon really has lived a hard life. Danny and Sam keep escaping.

[@Deimnos]

IKR? imagine all the running he has to do to recapture them!

[@alexandershin413]

This is a wonderfully long episode, just as I imagined the Korea Cut would be. If only our wonderful Blaze Boy would release it

[@Kiefsti]

Need to upvote this more than once.

[@The_joey_hebert]

I’d pay to see the N Korea business blaze episode

[@The_joey_hebert]

Not a lot but possibly a few dollars

[@AvoidTheCadaver]

Simon should open up a club membership and post it there

[@alexandershin413]

@@The_joey_hebert he already recorded it ALLEGEDLY but doesn’t want to release it for fear of retaliation from mr presitator Kim and his family

[@williethomson8353]

I've just realised why I watch Whistler videos. It's like watching a clone of a Brut who's not quite human or Brit ...its interestingly funny

[@scottthewaterwarrior]

Simon's comment about editing game code reminds me of what I've done to one of my old budget trucking sims. Originally I went into the code just to re balance things (one of the most powerful trucks in the game had a transmission that red-lined at 50 MPH), but then I decided to see what would happen if I gave the worst truck in the game a power rating of 3000%: 0-90 MPH pulling a trailer in only half a second!

[@sventer198]

As a woman I can highly recommend that any man with a beard and/or moustache use a high quality beard oil. It makes your beard softer and prevents women from flinching when you kiss them because it doesn’t feel like you’ve kissed a porcupine!

[@jacobpickens2283]

Love how Simon says he hates fantasy but straight up loves the prince of Persia

[@AstroFan428]

I immediately thought of Custer's Revenge, not disappointed with his reaction. 🤣

[@chaosreaver3597]

It's the only correct reaction. If you tried to release a game like that today, and I don't mean a remake with modern graphics just exactly the same as it was, on the general market today every social media server on the planet would melt all the way to the core of the Earth trying to handle the number of outrage post being uploaded.

[@kaitlynnp582]

I appreciated his reaction, too. I wasn't aware of the game, but I have been raped and it was reassuring to see an appropriately appalled reaction to rape.

[@Onnabote]

The dripping smarmy, smug self-confidence followed by, "... Oh..." And the fact that you can do it over, and over, and over again over hundreds of videos. I feel like it should be insufferable, but somehow I keep watching 🤣

[@hullinstruments]

36:35 When you showed the clip from that movie “top-secret!“… PAPERS PLEASE!!! I swear I thought Val Kilmer was Mili yiannopoulos!😂😂

[@MrWizeazz]

I knew Custer’s Revenge would be on here.

[@AvoidTheCadaver]

Extended covid lockdown. This came out just in time it help kill 1hr 20min. Thanks!

[@--enyo--]

Sydney?

[@PKirkham1]

I want the “don’t buy this” video with Simon and Danny half arsing it and Sam putting in full effort

[@ThunderStruck15]

Isn’t that every episode?

[@Izcer]

His remark on dvds and bluray is something i have to constantly fight against. Some people just like owning a physical copy of the movie to play at will instead of gee iono spinning the roulette wheel of "what streaming service has the IP now!".

[@DystopianOverture]

Yeah, maybe I like having access to it without the internet or VPN to find the region that has it on Netflix.

[@kyleellis1825]

DVD commentary and all the special features. Or how some remasters used for stream are still worse than 20year old DVDs/cut out "controversial" episodes. You like Community's DnD episode, better like pirating or have the DVDs.

[@tolkienfan1972]

Or whether the title you "purchased" has been removed from the platform

[@anusblaster8671]

Most of these are available on pirate bay, allegedly.

[@blackice9088]

Yes, Simon those were the same cassettes that you could record music on...You had to use them with the Commodore VIC 20 when it came out, and the unit was called the tape drive. They were slow, and generally a pain in the ass!