BRIAN POSEHN - "Metal By Numbers" (Official Music Video)

BRIAN POSEHN - "Metal By Numbers" Official Music Video from the album 'Live: In Nerd Rage'
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Available now on CD/LP/Digital via Relapse Records
Directed by: Darren Doane
Produced by: Jeremy Jackson
Edited by: Dan Dobi
Official links:
www.brianposehn...
/ thebrianposehn‎
brianposehn.ban...
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Lyrics:
They've killed METAL twice, but it will never really die!
It's kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy...
So grab your friends, some instruments and start a metal band
Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand
We're coming to the end of the first verse...
Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus and then the second verse.
I know I just rhymed verse with verse
That's because I'm sooo METAL, bitch, where's your fucking purse?
BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight...
BREAKDOWN!!! Don't be scared, the chorus will make it all alright
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a baby could do it, just give it a try
Just sound like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die
I have to change my voice to make me sound (gang) MAD!
If I tried to sing clean it would make your ears (gang) SAD!
This is the (gang) GANG VOCAL and I'll tell you the (gang) TRUTH!
It's four sweaty dudes yelling in a (gang) BOOTH!
Music really sucks now Posers and trendy FOOLS
But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!
It's metal by numbers, it's not arithmetic
John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson...they all can suck my PENIS!
BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight...
BREAKDOWN!!! Don't be scared, the chorus will make it all alright
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a monkey could do it, just give it a try
Copy Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die
Here it comes! C'mon! All Right!
ARE YOU ALMOST READY??
Dammit! I missed it!
This is the mosh part! MOSH!!!
Or don't. It's your call. I just stand in the back and try not to get hit.
Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys. They'll punch you and they stink.
And look out for the screamo kids practicing their karate kicks. Dude, you look gaytarded.
Oh no. Here comes a giant Mexican - he looks really pissed.
I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it's kind of gross.
Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break...Oh, not yet.
Here it comes... here it comes. GO!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a retard could do it, JUST GIVE IT A TRY!
Steal from Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

[@psychoticfart]

Brian is so lucky to have a lovely, understanding wife.

[@biggripper9795]

Let's be honest, shes the lucky one.

[@williamisner8759]

Honey your an idiot why don't u do it lol

[@nomadronin707]

For real, to actually have a woman stick with you after almost 20 years is amazing, most women would have divorced him while taking half his wealth AND their kids by now...

[@meridethmatt]

@@biggripper9795🙌

[@pillarsofserpents]

yeah and a wife who's five hundred times more attractive than him lol

[@robjgolde3221]

3:58 pretty wild knowing that a few years after this video, this man would become a respected dramatic actor. Bob Odenkirk is a legend.

[@nomadronin707]

Bob? You're forgetting about this man's role in Brütal Legend. Brian is a legend unto his own right.

[@Jmann2395]

Having Scott Ian on guitar instantly makes this song 100 times more metal.

[@jsan2548]

I can’t believe they got the guitarist from Titanica. Smart move.

[@20quid]

18 years old... I blink and this song became old enough to vote...

[@sheldonbuchanan9484]

i heard this song at warped tour... every band there covered it, it was great.

[@thenateyoulove]

haha nice

[@CIRCLEOFTONE]

17 YEARS AGO!? WHAT.

[@jeffdeezy]

and the plot is still the same for generic metalcore kiddies

[@JohnWayneBrady]

Two things to take with you from this video, Brian Posehn walking his dogs in corpse paint and Bob Odenkirk is the news.

[@neiloch]

*points and laughs at you*

[@chim-choo-ree]

I love Megadeth.

[@AvianSavara]

I just love how whenever there's a weird project or just something strange and out of left field, Scott Ian is gonna be involved somehow :P

[@TheBreadlord]

A comedy metal track has no business going this hard.

[@theAbaddon_]

2019 and this song is still relevant.

[@JayRamahi3810]

and bob odenkirk is off to bigger and better things lol

[@goalieg3391]

Try 2020

[@ConeJellos]

Now it's Djent by numbers.

[@joelguitar7]

@@ConeJellos or DJENT BY Zeros 🤣🤣🤣

[@sirdorkster]

@@goalieg3391 Try 2022

[@sullyb23511]

"Honey, you're an idiot, why don't you try it?" That's my wife talking to me.

[@sboloshis1188]

She sounds metal.

[@jimmycrackcorn7995]

It's all our wives bruh...

[@thebeastofdoom]

Rhythm guitarists Scott Ian (of Anthrax), bassist Joey Vera (of Armored Saint), drummer John Tempesta (of The Cult and White Zombie), and lead guitarist Jonathan Donais (of Shadows Fall).(Jonathan Donais does not appear in the music video) METAL!!!

[@SLAYERSWINE1]

Brian Posehn. Who would have thought that the biggest dork in the world would become the funniest, most respected metal head on the planet ?

[@Hellwyck]

I doubt he's "the funniest, most well respected"

[@martyschriver]

@@Hellwyck HOW DARE YOU SLANDER THE GREAT POSEHN!! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY, POSEUR!!

[@FolkMetalProject]

shame he can't sing though. if this was a Steel Panther/Powerwolf/Manowar kinda band it would've had more replay value

[@dushk0]

Cringe

[@necrodamus5481]

Yeaaaaaah. Idk about respected or funny. Especially with his most recent album

[@primitivebeans]

So nostalgic for the 00's

[@meegz149]

@primitivebeans ya! How does that even happen! I was nostalgic for the 90s. One day we'll be nostalgic for this time, so we gotta live it up!

[@thinkforyourself2109]

Subtitles would be good because your greatest appeal is your humor.

[@gardedog3902]

what a lineup! anthrax, armored saint, shadows fall, the cult/white zombie represented, kinda wish they took it a bit more serious as well as the comedy stuff with this lineup

[@JayRamahi3810]

and now we have saul goodman as a cherry on top lol

[@xese4lifex]

HAHAHA! I love the breakdown part where he starts listing all the different people involved in the mosh. The "Peace Sells" part made me crack up.

[@donovanhefner1130]

Man, 17 years… I remember when this came out lol

[@421sparacino]

Here comes the screamo kids trying out their karate kicks

[@Drugaddict22]

Stephen Sparacino this is the gay part with melody....

[@stevietonche]

David Lee Roth use to do karate kicks.

[@Sgtvalentini]

Hey, that was almost cool for a while in the 90s, in new Jersey anyway

[@drjonesize5438]

@@Sgtvalentini No, it was never cool and idiots everywhere started doing that shit. That karate kid bs made its way to WI at least 20 years ago, haha.

[@vikmarisco5679]

@@MrDrainBramaged who does? Not pogo i hope

[@jimmeeski]

Heard this on the radio this morning... And as a guy who's really into punk rock, this was very relevant to how I hear so called "metal" musicians today.

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

Crazy seeing Chasing Victory at the beginning, they're super obscure.

[@thadood4373]

"YOU'RE THE NEWS" my favorite part

[@ErikClements]

I love Saul just randomly showing up

[@sakatababa]

i was confused until i realized you meant bob odenkirk you do understand that he is not saul goodman and he is an actor?

[@seeword420]

​@@sakatababa No way! Really?

[@sakatababa]

@@seeword420 apparently people don't understand that or he would use the actors name ffs, he obviously watched the show, he know that dude isn't doing the same character here especially because at this time saul goodman didn't exist as a character (unless i have a horrible case of autopedoritis)

[@williamcase426]

wait Saul Goodman isn't a real lawyer 🤔

[@sakatababa]

@@williamcase426 just between us, he is. but he has to hide from the government so we troll them so they think he is fake.

[@Devilsblood]

Saw this back in the mid 2000s. Yes, I'm old.

[@magich8ball]

You know youre metal when you have Scott Ian as your guitarist!

[@ROONTANG]

YOU'RE THE NEWS!

[@BlizzardMoonDragon]

"Honey, I was being metal." "Thats nice honey, but can you take the dogs for a walk? They really need to get out." "Alright."

[@nobody-wy1ib]

I love how they had a whole set change/change of costume and wig for literally one second of the "gay part"

[@BIGPAUL94]

I love the little Through the Fire and Flames spoof at 4:25.

[@Jacksonrox13]

"Are you almost ready? Dammit I missed it!" Lol.

[@Rhyswalter94]

Brian Posehn is amazing. This really shows the range of his abilities as a comedian. Also, getting to do like the two things you love at once? Awesome!

[@RyanRoemer8624]

Best stand up comedian & actor & musician Brian Posehn

[@BobGermanovich]

I hate to say it but Posehn is a genius. i nearly pissed myself laughing.

[@ZappaCrane]

Why would you hate to say that? Nothing wrong with the dude

[@mrxypaxn]

Another reason Posehn makes me proud to be a geek. Great video and so many little nods to different metal bands but I absolutely loved the Dragonforce parody around 4:24.

[@9mmhobbes]

what can i say, the man was a prophet.

[@eliarevalo]

I still think this is the greatest metal video ever

[@NathanAllebach]

Almost 20 years later and this video still holds up lmao

[@territhetankedupterrapin6592]

This came out in 2006 so why has it only just been recommended to me!?

[@FluffyThieves]

Honest answer: he just released a comedy metal album called Grandpa Metal

[@Thagomizer]

There should also be a Metal lyrics by numbers. I could go the rest of my life without hearing any more lyrics about Satan, anti-religion, Norse mythology, or how metal the band is.

[@edwardkenway2950]

uh doom metal? Progressive and power too. I think you're not looking hard enough.

[@LordValdomerol]

Or cosmic shit if you listen to prog metal. Or gory murders if it's death metal

[@jimmycrackcorn7995]

YOU'RE THE NEWS..... YOU ARE

[@DaleTatum]

I like how all of Scott Ian's joke bands are so much more brutal than any other band that's been around or coming out

[@emmaduncan2991]

gotta give the guy credit, it needed to be said.

[@YeahThatsMeVic]

Bert rock!

[@bgorley]

Love this. Glad I'm not the only one who grew up loving medal and now wonders what happened. C is for cookie not metal.

[@Hellwyck]

which medal do you love, the victoria cross?

[@kellyjackson7889]

Hellwyck IRON CROSS \m/

[@Hellwyck]

The Iron Cross is a nazi medal. ***** Then don't watch it

[@kellyjackson7889]

Hellwyck No it's not. The Iron Cross had been around for awhile it's heritage predates the 3rd Reich by at least a Century. Wiki-p says:"The military decoration called the Iron Cross which existed in the Kingdom of Prussia, and later in the German Empire and Third Reich, was established by King Friedrich Wilhelm III of Prussia and first awarded on the 10th of March in 1813 during the Napoleonic Wars." It's not an award for recognition of battles/campaigns but for having sustained an injury during battles much like the USA Purple Heart Today it's the insignia of the modern German army.

[@Hellwyck]

I stand corrected.

[@zztosha]

"POSEHN" logo looks like Pentagram logo. Nice.

[@blitzink3620]

Like for space ghost

[@davidguzman642]

awesome, he do not gives a shit what people have to say, thad is what I call a real metalhead

[@SamhainFire]

Better call saul!

[@FormerlyFlightsuit]

This is fucking brilliant! "YOU"RE the news! You are!" This video perfectly sums up how I feel about "metal" and about nearly every stupid alternative band from 1995 'til the present. Rock and Roll has died.

[@miguelnewmexico8641]

have you grown over these last 12 years?

[@AlienFrequency]

Haha this is badass.

[@maxcelcat]

Wait, what? Bob Odenkirk? I didn't know who he was when i watched this five years ago.

[@jesse6541]

Have you found Mr. Show yet? It's Bob O. & Brian P. from the glorious late 90's?!

[@scottsheehan1513]

Brian,...You rock

[@Malle-man]

is that the guy from sara silverman?

[@dngrouscrgo]

“It’s metal by numbers, any idiot can do it” *starts playing a pop punk riff*

[@damnaion1027]

that's a thrash riff if I ever heard one.

[@USERNAME1-x5u]

I forgot this had a Dimmu Borgir reference with the girl on a dog leash

[@Akerfeldtfan]

That is totally Saul Goodman playing the dad!

[@nierohsplaylist]

now I'm gonna be at work like COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE

[@relearn]

Somehow the fact I can only view this in 240p actually seems fitting. 💛🤘

[@relearn]

Strangely there’s an option for 144p.. maybe for those who love impressionist art? Or are still on dialup? 🤔🥺

[@scottmckinstry1698]

"Dude, you look gay-tarded!" Fucking love Brian Posehn

[@AeonsOfFrost]

Ahh the good old 240p days

[@nathanielbaker6884]

this is fucking art

[@Northseastorm]

This is the most boomer song

[@Androssverse]

Band: Chasing Victory, Song: "Unrequited Love"

[@XxMATTxXist]

Opened for them at my first show

[@MERCURYMAD]

I don't know, men aren't supposed to dance and the animation's all crappy. However, for the first time I actually want to follow a band because I believe in their message. Right to the point, it's exciting to see this approached with a sense of humor by so many talented professionals. BREAKDOWN!!!

[@NandorTheRelentless76]

this is the gay part!....love that line

[@th1nkman]

"Every metal singer should sound like he wants to fight." - Brian Posehn

[@Matmax42]

Damn this vid has ben uploaded 11yrs ago. I remember when i was watching it so hard when i was teenager. I feel old now. BTW now i noticed that music is very similar to soulfly's "carved inside"

[@StalePorkchop]

Shoutout to Saul goodman as the dad

[@perfidious333]

Still love watching this from time to time. 🫡

[@kenfrazee41]

Middle age headbangers rule! We're just a little more oval.

[@DeadpoolX9]

Unironically a great metal core song

[@thatstencilguy]

Anyone else think Posehn looks a little bit like Vincent from The Acacia Strain when he's wearing the hat?

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

Ironically this song isn't metal. Its hardcore.

[@christyadams9235]

Fan of his for years and just now finding this...?

[@fleshintogare]

ahh I love Chasing Victory :/

[@rickyiglesias5384]

me too. they're not metal and never claimed to be, but still a great band.

[@BoneDaddy216]

@@rickyiglesias5384 they're highly underrated

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

What does metal by numbers mean?

[@theScytheofGod]

Years ago, they had pictures that you painted; these pictures had numbers on them so you knew what color to use and where, this was for children to use because it was so damned easy. Get it?

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

theScytheofGod Sort of lol

[@ikt123]

It is using the idiom 'by numbers': Definition of “by numbers” UK (US by the numbers) done according to a plan that has been decided previously, without using your own imagination and ideas: "This is painting by numbers - there's nothing original here." So he is saying there is just a lot of metal, none of it is original, and it's all using the same formula, which he references multiple times in the song like 'here's the gay part', 'here's the part which sounds like the singer wants to fight', 'here comes the lead break' etc, suggesting a lot of the new metal songs have those same things in them.

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

O i c. I knew the song was about bullshit metal i just didn't know what the actual expression meant. Thanks!

[@Hellwyck]

ikt It's a basic plan of writing heavy metal "metal for idiots" basically.

[@DragonFist9323]

I love him. He did this and now he's writing the current Deadpool series. Such a awesome man.

[@JM-ke5gs]

DUDE IS THAT SAUL LOL??

[@TheRealMXR5150]

Jordan Mann Indeed it is!

[@bobbymeade2099]

+Jordan Mann Bob Odenkirk

[@mohka136]

did i see scott ian

[@gytisslizouskas9664]

yeah , it's him

[@veronicakirk21]

I love this song!

[@afiday123]

"This is the gay part, with melody." I don't believe in mixing screams with pretty vocals

[@FolkMetalProject]

ever? or just with emo/core style singing? kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaLaXoKDq8eAa9Um14s

[@crashman27]

way to rip off Lunachicks cookie core from their 1990 album

[@mikew9096]

CrashMan27 not many will get that song reference. That's what he does, mixes in old songs.

[@999leorik999]

this song is a fucking banger, listen to it when it came out, listen to it till this day, cookie cookie cookie!

[@victorribeiro2431]

WTF... Scott Ian?

[@TheJasepetrucci]

Just drunk and watching friends, and then bam! BRIAN POSEHN !! comes on :D had to watch this again!

[@iloveyoass69]

this is so awsome

[@Historical_Horror]

I must have this album!

[@guitarguyjones]

Brian Posehn's so lucky, he got to crack a Heineken with Scott Ian over a guitar solo.

[@brianbumstead2682]

Love it

[@Deathboxdaddytv]

The 898 that disliked this video are the scene kids that doesn't respect the entire metal scene... This is fucking amazing

[@diondemandaroon7192]

Love that jab at DF.

[@biol00p]

Wow........ This guy is a trip

[@BloodIsTheRain1]

this is awsome. this guy totally gets it. a lamb of god shirt and a side ways hat when the breakdown comes. screamo kids with karate kicks, one big scary mexican guy, "this IS the news!!" standing alone in an empty room being metal pretending youre a frontman. just awsome

[@lens_hunter]

Still one of my favorite things

[@terradactyl22]

Never gets old

[@Alejandro39451]

It is 2020 and I still listening to this song!

[@sethhoffman711]

It has already been said, but Brian, you ARE the news.

[@denverrandy7143]

Cookie cookie cookie!!!!!Hell yea Brian🤘

[@radvragu]

I can't believe this is 15 years old now

[@purplepinkpillow]

gotta love brian posehn.. idk why but i do.

[@isaachathawayemoboy6091]

Best song all time