BRIAN POSEHN - "Metal By Numbers" (Official Music Video)

BRIAN POSEHN - "Metal By Numbers" Official Music Video from the album 'Live: In Nerd Rage'
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Available now on CD/LP/Digital via Relapse Records
Directed by: Darren Doane
Produced by: Jeremy Jackson
Edited by: Dan Dobi
Official links:
www.brianposehn.com/‎
/ thebrianposehn‎
brianposehn.bandcamp.com/
www.relapse.com
/ relapserecords
www.relapserecords.bandcamp.com
/ relapserecords
www.myspace.com/relapserecords
Lyrics:
They've killed METAL twice, but it will never really die!
It's kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy...
So grab your friends, some instruments and start a metal band
Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand
We're coming to the end of the first verse...
Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus and then the second verse.
I know I just rhymed verse with verse
That's because I'm sooo METAL, bitch, where's your fucking purse?
BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight...
BREAKDOWN!!! Don't be scared, the chorus will make it all alright
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a baby could do it, just give it a try
Just sound like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die
I have to change my voice to make me sound (gang) MAD!
If I tried to sing clean it would make your ears (gang) SAD!
This is the (gang) GANG VOCAL and I'll tell you the (gang) TRUTH!
It's four sweaty dudes yelling in a (gang) BOOTH!
Music really sucks now Posers and trendy FOOLS
But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!
It's metal by numbers, it's not arithmetic
John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson...they all can suck my PENIS!
BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight...
BREAKDOWN!!! Don't be scared, the chorus will make it all alright
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a monkey could do it, just give it a try
Copy Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die
Here it comes! C'mon! All Right!
ARE YOU ALMOST READY??
Dammit! I missed it!
This is the mosh part! MOSH!!!
Or don't. It's your call. I just stand in the back and try not to get hit.
Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys. They'll punch you and they stink.
And look out for the screamo kids practicing their karate kicks. Dude, you look gaytarded.
Oh no. Here comes a giant Mexican - he looks really pissed.
I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it's kind of gross.
Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break...Oh, not yet.
Here it comes... here it comes. GO!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a retard could do it, JUST GIVE IT A TRY!
Steal from Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

[@psychoticfart]

Brian is so lucky to have a lovely, understanding wife.

[@biggripper9795]

Let's be honest, shes the lucky one.

[@williamisner8759]

Honey your an idiot why don't u do it lol

[@nomadronin707]

For real, to actually have a woman stick with you after almost 20 years is amazing, most women would have divorced him while taking half his wealth AND their kids by now...

[@meridethmatt]

@@biggripper9795🙌

[@pillarsofserpents]

yeah and a wife who's five hundred times more attractive than him lol

[@Jmann2395]

Having Scott Ian on guitar instantly makes this song 100 times more metal.

[@jsan2548]

I can’t believe they got the guitarist from Titanica. Smart move.

[@robjgolde3221]

3:58 pretty wild knowing that a few years after this video, this man would become a respected dramatic actor. Bob Odenkirk is a legend.

[@nomadronin707]

Bob? You're forgetting about this man's role in Brütal Legend. Brian is a legend unto his own right.

[@421sparacino]

Here comes the screamo kids trying out their karate kicks

[@Drugaddict22]

Stephen Sparacino this is the gay part with melody....

[@stevietonche]

David Lee Roth use to do karate kicks.

[@user-lj2cb2pj8j]

Hey, that was almost cool for a while in the 90s, in new Jersey anyway

[@drjonesize5438]

@@user-lj2cb2pj8j No, it was never cool and idiots everywhere started doing that shit. That karate kid bs made its way to WI at least 20 years ago, haha.

[@vikmarisco5679]

@@MrDrainBramaged who does? Not pogo i hope

[@sullyb23511]

"Honey, you're an idiot, why don't you try it?" That's my wife talking to me.

[@sboloshis1188]

She sounds metal.

[@JohnWayneBrady]

Two things to take with you from this video, Brian Posehn walking his dogs in corpse paint and Bob Odenkirk is the news.

[@neiloch]

*points and laughs at you*

[@chim-choo-ree]

I love Megadeth.

[@sheldonbuchanan9484]

i heard this song at warped tour... every band there covered it, it was great.

[@thenateyoulove]

haha nice

[@AvianSavara]

I just love how whenever there's a weird project or just something strange and out of left field, Scott Ian is gonna be involved somehow :P

[@thebeastofdoom]

Rhythm guitarists Scott Ian (of Anthrax), bassist Joey Vera (of Armored Saint), drummer John Tempesta (of The Cult and White Zombie), and lead guitarist Jonathan Donais (of Shadows Fall).(Jonathan Donais does not appear in the music video) METAL!!!

[@ROONTANG]

YOU'RE THE NEWS!

[@ErikClements]

I love Saul just randomly showing up

[@SLAYERSWINE1]

Brian Posehn. Who would have thought that the biggest dork in the world would become the funniest, most respected metal head on the planet ?

[@Hellwyck]

I doubt he's "the funniest, most well respected"

[@martyschriver]

@@Hellwyck HOW DARE YOU SLANDER THE GREAT POSEHN!! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY, POSEUR!!

[@FolkMetalProject]

shame he can't sing though. if this was a Steel Panther/Powerwolf/Manowar kinda band it would've had more replay value

[@dushk0]

Cringe

[@necrodamus5481]

Yeaaaaaah. Idk about respected or funny. Especially with his most recent album

[@gardedog3902]

what a lineup! anthrax, armored saint, shadows fall, the cult/white zombie represented, kinda wish they took it a bit more serious as well as the comedy stuff with this lineup

[@JayRamahi3810]

and now we have saul goodman as a cherry on top lol

[@theAbaddon_]

2019 and this song is still relevant.

[@JayRamahi3810]

and bob odenkirk is off to bigger and better things lol

[@goalieg3391]

Try 2020

[@ConeJellos]

Now it's Djent by numbers.

[@Joelguitar7]

@@ConeJellos or DJENT BY Zeros 🤣🤣🤣

[@sirdorkster]

@@goalieg3391 Try 2022

[@Jacksonrox13]

"Are you almost ready? Dammit I missed it!" Lol.

[@thadood4373]

"YOU'RE THE NEWS" my favorite part

[@xese4lifex]

HAHAHA! I love the breakdown part where he starts listing all the different people involved in the mosh. The "Peace Sells" part made me crack up.

[@nobody-wy1ib]

I love how they had a whole set change/change of costume and wig for literally one second of the "gay part"

[@BlizzardMoonDragon]

"Honey, I was being metal." "Thats nice honey, but can you take the dogs for a walk? They really need to get out." "Alright."

[@magich8ball]

You know youre metal when you have Scott Ian as your guitarist!

[@iamlegend1623]

This video rules. Especially the "cookie, cookie, cookie" part. As a metal head from way back, POSEHN RULES!

[@superfudge73]

Dudes, Brian Posehn is the biggest metal fan I have ever met! His record collection is fucking AMAZING!

[@BobGermanovich]

I hate to say it but Posehn is a genius. i nearly pissed myself laughing.

[@ZappaCrane]

Why would you hate to say that? Nothing wrong with the dude

[@primitivebeans]

So nostalgic for the 00's

[@meegz149]

@primitivebeans ya! How does that even happen! I was nostalgic for the 90s. One day we'll be nostalgic for this time, so we gotta live it up!

[@mrxypaxn]

Another reason Posehn makes me proud to be a geek. Great video and so many little nods to different metal bands but I absolutely loved the Dragonforce parody around 4:24.

[@Thagomizer]

There should also be a Metal lyrics by numbers. I could go the rest of my life without hearing any more lyrics about Satan, anti-religion, Norse mythology, or how metal the band is.

[@edwardkenway2950]

uh doom metal? Progressive and power too. I think you're not looking hard enough.

[@LordValdomerol]

Or cosmic shit if you listen to prog metal. Or gory murders if it's death metal

[@jimmeeski]

Heard this on the radio this morning... And as a guy who's really into punk rock, this was very relevant to how I hear so called "metal" musicians today.

[@thinkforyourself2109]

Subtitles would be good because your greatest appeal is your humor.

[@Wilkins777]

This is actually some top notch music... Even for a "joke" song. This is up there with Metal God, Raining Blood, Number of the Beast as a metal anthem

[@emmaduncan2991]

gotta give the guy credit, it needed to be said.

[@donovanhefner1130]

Man, 17 years… I remember when this came out lol

[@TheBreadlord]

A comedy metal track has no business going this hard.

[@SamhainFire]

Better call saul!

[@DaleTatum]

I like how all of Scott Ian's joke bands are so much more brutal than any other band that's been around or coming out

[@relearn]

Somehow the fact I can only view this in 240p actually seems fitting. 💛🤘

[@relearn]

Strangely there’s an option for 144p.. maybe for those who love impressionist art? Or are still on dialup? 🤔🥺

[@guitarguyjones]

Brian Posehn's so lucky, he got to crack a Heineken with Scott Ian over a guitar solo.

[@Rhyswalter94]

Brian Posehn is amazing. This really shows the range of his abilities as a comedian. Also, getting to do like the two things you love at once? Awesome!

[@territhetankedupterrapin6592]

This came out in 2006 so why has it only just been recommended to me!?

[@FluffyThieves]

Honest answer: he just released a comedy metal album called Grandpa Metal

[@radvragu]

I can't believe this is 15 years old now

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

Crazy seeing Chasing Victory at the beginning, they're super obscure.

[@Akerfeldtfan]

That is totally Saul Goodman playing the dad!

[@AeonsOfFrost]

Ahh the good old 240p days

[@CIRCLEOFTONE]

17 YEARS AGO!? WHAT.

[@eliarevalo]

I still think this is the greatest metal video ever

[@scottmckinstry1698]

"Dude, you look gay-tarded!" Fucking love Brian Posehn

[@zztosha]

"POSEHN" logo looks like Pentagram logo. Nice.

[@blitzink3620]

Like for space ghost

[@dngrouscrgo]

“It’s metal by numbers, any idiot can do it” *starts playing a pop punk riff*

[@damnaion1027]

that's a thrash riff if I ever heard one.

[@nierohsplaylist]

now I'm gonna be at work like COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE

[@StalePorkchop]

Shoutout to Saul goodman as the dad

[@9mmhobbes]

what can i say, the man was a prophet.

[@Devilsblood]

Saw this back in the mid 2000s. Yes, I'm old.

[@Malle-man]

is that the guy from sara silverman?

[@tuulenkoti]

If Kermit fronted a metal band...

[@BIGPAUL94]

I love the little Through the Fire and Flames spoof at 4:25.

[@Matmax42]

Damn this vid has ben uploaded 11yrs ago. I remember when i was watching it so hard when i was teenager. I feel old now. BTW now i noticed that music is very similar to soulfly's "carved inside"

[@maxcelcat]

Wait, what? Bob Odenkirk? I didn't know who he was when i watched this five years ago.

[@jesse6541]

Have you found Mr. Show yet? It's Bob O. & Brian P. from the glorious late 90's?!

[@thatstencilguy]

Anyone else think Posehn looks a little bit like Vincent from The Acacia Strain when he's wearing the hat?

[@RyanRoemer8624]

Best stand up comedian & actor & musician Brian Posehn

[@TheJasepetrucci]

Just drunk and watching friends, and then bam! BRIAN POSEHN !! comes on :D had to watch this again!

[@FormerlyFlightsuit]

This is fucking brilliant! "YOU"RE the news! You are!" This video perfectly sums up how I feel about "metal" and about nearly every stupid alternative band from 1995 'til the present. Rock and Roll has died.

[@miguelnewmexico8641]

have you grown over these last 12 years?

[@bgorley]

Love this. Glad I'm not the only one who grew up loving medal and now wonders what happened. C is for cookie not metal.

[@Hellwyck]

which medal do you love, the victoria cross?

[@kellyjackson7889]

Hellwyck IRON CROSS \m/

[@Hellwyck]

The Iron Cross is a nazi medal. ***** Then don't watch it

[@kellyjackson7889]

Hellwyck No it's not. The Iron Cross had been around for awhile it's heritage predates the 3rd Reich by at least a Century. Wiki-p says:"The military decoration called the Iron Cross which existed in the Kingdom of Prussia, and later in the German Empire and Third Reich, was established by King Friedrich Wilhelm III of Prussia and first awarded on the 10th of March in 1813 during the Napoleonic Wars." It's not an award for recognition of battles/campaigns but for having sustained an injury during battles much like the USA Purple Heart Today it's the insignia of the modern German army.

[@Hellwyck]

I stand corrected.

[@NathanAllebach]

Almost 20 years later and this video still holds up lmao

[@veronicakirk21]

I love this song!

[@th1nkman]

"Every metal singer should sound like he wants to fight." - Brian Posehn

[@kenfrazee41]

Middle age headbangers rule! We're just a little more oval.

[@DragonFist9323]

I love him. He did this and now he's writing the current Deadpool series. Such a awesome man.

[@terradactyl22]

Never gets old

[@NandorTheRelentless76]

this is the gay part!....love that line

[@JM-ke5gs]

DUDE IS THAT SAUL LOL??

[@TheRealMXR5150]

Jordan Mann Indeed it is!

[@bobbymeade2099]

+Jordan Mann Bob Odenkirk

[@DanielA-ig3cj]

14 years ago. Wow

[@Alejandro39451]

It is 2020 and I still listening to this song!

[@fleshintogare]

ahh I love Chasing Victory :/

[@rickyiglesias5384]

me too. they're not metal and never claimed to be, but still a great band.

[@BoneDaddy216]

@@rickyiglesias5384 they're highly underrated

[@AlienFrequency]

Haha this is badass.

[@LoudnOut1]

in the beginning of the video Posehn face is priceless lmao

[@paranoidude]

"This is the mosh part. So... mosh. Or don't. It's your call. I'm too old for it."

[@Northseastorm]

This is the most boomer song

[@mohka136]

did i see scott ian

[@gytisslizouskas9664]

yeah , it's him

[@davidguzman642]

just fkn awesome he do not give a shit what others think, thad is a true metal head

[@Alcoda777]

Honey, I was being metal.

[@Androssverse]

Band: Chasing Victory, Song: "Unrequited Love"

[@XxMATTxXist]

Opened for them at my first show

[@afiday123]

"This is the gay part, with melody." I don't believe in mixing screams with pretty vocals

[@FolkMetalProject]

ever? or just with emo/core style singing? kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaLaXoKDq8eAa9Um14s

[@DeadpoolX9]

Unironically a great metal core song

[@BloodIsTheRain1]

this is awsome. this guy totally gets it. a lamb of god shirt and a side ways hat when the breakdown comes. screamo kids with karate kicks, one big scary mexican guy, "this IS the news!!" standing alone in an empty room being metal pretending youre a frontman. just awsome

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

What does metal by numbers mean?

[@theScytheofGod]

Years ago, they had pictures that you painted; these pictures had numbers on them so you knew what color to use and where, this was for children to use because it was so damned easy. Get it?

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

theScytheofGod Sort of lol

[@ikt123]

It is using the idiom 'by numbers': Definition of “by numbers” UK (US by the numbers) done according to a plan that has been decided previously, without using your own imagination and ideas: "This is painting by numbers - there's nothing original here." So he is saying there is just a lot of metal, none of it is original, and it's all using the same formula, which he references multiple times in the song like 'here's the gay part', 'here's the part which sounds like the singer wants to fight', 'here comes the lead break' etc, suggesting a lot of the new metal songs have those same things in them.

[@JOURNEYLUKE]

O i c. I knew the song was about bullshit metal i just didn't know what the actual expression meant. Thanks!

[@Hellwyck]

ikt It's a basic plan of writing heavy metal "metal for idiots" basically.

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

Ironically this song isn't metal. Its hardcore.

[@purplepinkpillow]

gotta love brian posehn.. idk why but i do.

[@biol00p]

Wow........ This guy is a trip

[@victorribeiro2431]

WTF... Scott Ian?

[@crashman27]

way to rip off Lunachicks cookie core from their 1990 album

[@mikew9096]

CrashMan27 not many will get that song reference. That's what he does, mixes in old songs.

[@christyadams9235]

Fan of his for years and just now finding this...?

[@hairymoose1974]

seeing his wife and the dogs makes me love "puppy playtime" even more.

[@NicoleMccurdy-my2km]

Most Metal video ever🤘🤘

[@Historical_Horror]

I must have this album!

[@diondemandaroon7192]

Love that jab at DF.

[@grindergallery]

"Honey i was being metal." classic!

[@thiaa5448]

Best metal song ever

[@scottsheehan1513]

Brian,...You rock

[@thENDweDIE]

What!? No baby punching!?

[@vin7s]

MOAR BRAIAN POSHEN

[@davidguzman642]

awesome, he do not gives a shit what people have to say, thad is what I call a real metalhead