Brit Reacts to 5 Ways British and American Meal Etiquette is Very Different

[@vodriscoll]

What he missed is many Americans (not all) will hold their fork in left hand, a knife in the right, cut their food and then put the knife down and switch hand with the fork. So the fork goes from left hand to right hand to eat. I do that. I never eat with a fork in my left hand. I never say grace. I have been to people's houses for dinner and they did. But my family never did. I would never not tip anything. I would give 10%. But I have not really had really bad service. Normally, I tip 17%-20%

[@hollowfyre]

This is how I use a knife and fork as well

[@davidheiser2225]

That's how I use a knife and fork. The hand-switching is because I'm right-handed, so anything else would be awkward.

[@Marcel_Audubon]

The hand switching thing is just ridiculous, but yes, I've seen it

[@larchibald1716]

All of the old etiquette books from the 50’s taught to switch hands. You would cut three bites worth then switch hands to eat those bites.

[@Marcel_Audubon]

@@larchibald1716 anyone who had to consult a book for instructions on how to eat was a foolish insecure lemming to begin with -- didn't it ever occur to you to question the complete nonsense of it?!?

[@xineohpinakc264]

I'm not very religious at all and I don't say grace but, I am respectful if someone does. When I eat with my father i am just quiet and respectful and bow my head down because it is polite.

[@starparodier91]

Same. I grew up Catholic but we only said grace before meals like Christmas and Easter. I don’t consider myself religious but I’ll always be respectful of others.

[@StewartDavidJ]

Agreed. I don't say grace and neither does my family (at least not that I remember), but when I am with others who do it is polite and respectful to wait until it is over to pick up the utensils. It's not always easy to tell in advance whether its ok to start eating immediately so we often will wait for the host or group leader to set the tone. This can happen in restaurants as well as in private homes and is often accompanied by holding hands with your dining companions. Sometimes it is an opportunity for the less religious to have a bit of fun ("We ask forgiveness for this food...") but that is rare and considered disrespectful.

[@shiichan32]

ya i bow my head and shut up but that's about it. cause im not religious either.

[@98talberg]

​@@starparodier91Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to recieve from thy bounty through Christ our Lord Amen. Raised by Catholic nun/teacher.

[@hlessiavedon]

I'll be respectful and play along if im at a meal where it happens, just don't ask me to say the invocation as it is likely to be a tad too satanic for those who would say grace over a meal. Lol

[@Kim-427]

We call it blessing the food. It’s a prayer for being grateful to have food to eat and bless the people that prepared it. That’s what we do for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[@shirleypaslay2019]

Every meal here in my house

[@emilyb5307]

Growing up (and now) we say Grace in my household. Half my family is not religous and does not usually, but during the holidays and events we all gather and give thanks together. Some families hold hands, others just fold their hands.

[@villainouschrisk]

General rule of thumb, if the family goes to church every week, they say grace before every meal.

[@micheleweldon1709]

Bless us oh Lord for these thy gifts through bounty through Christ Amen . Typical grace Prayer before eating.

[@MrPenguinLife]

As a 50 something year old man that lives in the bible belt portion of the south, I can say that this is a custom that is not as wide spread as it once was, having said that, in my experience in all but the most religiously active families saying grace at family meals is mostly limited to family gathering on special occasions (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.). Saying grace is very rarely seen in public dining situations, other than something like a church picnic, though a religious invocation before a meal is somewhat common for some social club gathering events. The big thing to remember is that it is considered rude / offensive to eat any of your food before the blessing.

[@sharonhutchins5784]

We say grace at every meal. We don’t hold hands. If someone is there that doesn’t, they are ALWAYS respectful.

[@Musicislife477]

I grew up always saying grace with every meal and we hold each others hands as we pray. Anytime I see my parents for a meal, we still hold hands and say grace 😄

[@geniarome]

American: We say grace at dinner. We hold hands and say thanks for all things positive in our lives. Ended by an Amen 😊

[@natalieclem5517]

I used to be a server, and whenever there is any problems, such as the kitchen or anyone making a mistake, it reflects a servers performance. That’s why I don’t make a big deal if a server is struggling to get everything done right. As long as the server is nice and does the best they can, I will tip well. If they have an attitude, I will still tip, but not as much.

[@neuae__7]

My family is pretty religious. I live in Louisiana so pretty deep south and we stand up. Hold hands in one person chooses to say a full prayer and we say amen at the end and that is our grace before we eat. This for my family only happens at big family events.

[@annikathewitch3950]

(American here) My family doesn't typically say grace but some of my friends do. My first introduction to the concept was going to my friends house and hearing them say grace by singing this weird religious parody of the superman theme song. In terms of tipping, the reason you do it is because, like... minimum wage is not enough to pay rent in most places in the US, and servers (and any other tipped jobs) are making even less that that, so unless they like, start calling you slurs or spit in your food, you tip them. Maybe only 15% if you don't like their service (I was taught to tip 15% growing up but nowadays, especially in my generation, you're expected to default to 20% if you can afford it, bc wages havent really gone up with inflation.)

[@TraceyODonnell-s5p]

I really dislike that he always says that a server in America is only friendly for the tips. I was a waitresses for years and was always friendly and attentive to my customers. Whether they tipped or not.

[@HyujinlovesFelix]

Americans are just generally friendly and some servers are so adorable you wish they were your friend 😁

[@cac9089]

@@HyujinlovesFelix That is so true. I have had servers come back just for the conversation....lol. They are a real kick. It does not have anything to do with the tip.

[@Blondie42]

8:57 while living and working in China I had a number of coworkers from the UK and Ireland who talked just as much and as loudly as the average person from the US whenever we at out at various restaurants. On the whole, they were louder than me and I'm from the states. None of us were as boisterous as the Chinese patrons in those establishments.

[@starparodier91]

I’m guessing it depends on where you live in the world and personal interactions, but I’m always surprised that those of us from the US are considered to be the loud ones. I’d say China has us beat, but I’m extremely quiet.

[@Blondie42]

@@starparodier91 They definitely like having a good time while out on the town

[@tanya41277]

The servers do t stay and talk usually. Sometimes they barely stop moving when they ask "everything ok here", "need a refill?" It's like they are gliding by on roller skates!

[@bobadams179]

What drives me crazy about waitstaff here in the US is they seem to wait until you have just put a bite of food into your mouth then come ask how your meal is. Then you have to raise a finger and finish chewing and swallow before you answer. It happens every time without fail. Drives me nuts!

[@jilldurham4421]

Truth

[@wyrmshadow4374]

I had a date spoiled once because the waiter would not leave us alone

[@kari8187]

We do it in purpose most times😂😂 you’re less likely to ask for anything if you’re mouth is full

[@leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586]

It is fairly common.

[@Banyo__]

One of the WORST dining experiences I had with my family was the waiter for our section who would not leave us alone. He went to every single table asking if anyone needed anything, then when he got to the last in his section, he would start again. After his 5th friggin' visit, my mother literally told him, please don't come back to our table until we ask for the bill. He actually came back around and she shot him a look so deadly I think he stumbled backwards in fear (lol).

[@cathyblack4461]

I live in the South and when you need more drink, sit your glass near the edge of the table. So the waiter sees it. It never fails that they ask if you need a refill.

[@lindasmith1370]

I’m 75 and have eaten out a lot. I don’t remember ever getting really bad service in the US. If I did, I’d probably leave at least 10%. I have no idea what the server is going through that day. Life can be tough.

[@terryjones446]

You got it! That’s exactly how it’s done. We don’t say Grace at every meal, but if we have a bunch of people we always do.

[@cyndisandoval]

My family says Grace before every meal. If it's a holiday, usually hold hands and a long prayer, or take turns adding something to the prayer.

[@CafeDeDuy]

American here, specially Asian American. Never grew up saying Grace. And I’ve only experienced it a few times at other households. I mention Asian American because it’ll paint a background of different cultural upbringing, where I grew up Catholic but the Vietnamese background doesn’t have saying prayers before eating. So it definitely varies family to family based on their religion or heritage.

[@kenbrown2808]

it used to be if the service was horrendously bad; a person would leave 1P, so the server knew the patron didn't just forget to tip - they intentionally gave the minimum. but remember: in the US service system, it has reached a point where you are essentially buying the food from the restaurant, and paying the server separately for the service. another thing I didn't hear mentioned is that in the majority of US restaurants, it is now common for a food order to be a double portion, and people will either split an order, or will eat their fill and then be given a box to take the remainder home in.

[@mrscalifdreamer]

Lol! My husband grew up saying grace before each meal but I grew up saying it after meals. We taught our kids both. Before meals in English holding hands and after meals in Spanish!

[@justmare111]

American - native born Californian. Born in 1961 (today in fact, is my 62nd birthday!). Knife to cut tougher foods (meat, of course) in my right hand (because I'm right handed), but after the piece is cut, the knife is laid down on the edge of the plate and the fork goes into my right hand to pick up the piece of food and put it in my mouth. Tines up. And yes, we do tend to scoop food up with the fork. I didn't grow up saying 'grace' at the dinner table, despite my parents being active in the church. Dining with other people is always a social thing and we all converse with each other. If there's a lot of people, there tends to be several conversations going at one time. The kids running around is not a good thing, though. It is wished that the parent would control that child or take them out of the restaurant. I've been a bartender and a waitress (in the 1980s). We want you to have a good experience, and, we want to be sure we give you good enough service so we get a decent tip. Being made to wait and wait to get the check/bill is a big no-no. Also, good service means to check to be sure everything is good and to bring refills or needed condiments in a timely manner - not to hang around and bug the customer. Having worked as a bartender and waitress, I normally tip 30% (sometimes more) on really good service. Not great service gets 15%. It's not always easy to give great service, especially when it's really busy, so they at least deserve a halfway decent tip.

[@danielleslater9301]

I grew up saying grace at the dinner table but it depends on who you’re having a meal with at the time. We mostly say grace at big meals; Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc

[@kathigreen1479]

I'm 54, grew up in the Midwest (Michigan, Indiana, Iowa, & Illinois {Idaho is my bucket list state!} 😄) and growing up, yes, we said grace before every meal. We normally just folded our hands and bowed our heads, except holidays and special occasions, we would do the hand holding thing. Sadly, I broke that tradition with my daughter, and wasn't very religious during that time. However, now that I'm old and seeing what's going on... We may want to think about bringing some prayer back. Once again, thanks for another smile filled, lighthearted video. You're my therapist now. 😂

[@Sobergirl_]

4:28 Convenience. It’s all about convenience in the U.S. We use a steak knife when needed.

[@Geekabibble]

You'd fit right in at meals here. We all have a great time and talk at restaurants. I have a friend from NZ and I feel like her personality has been hushed down over there. She loves visiting here because she can be loud and fun and just herself and we all love her! The wait staff usually doesn't come to you every 5 minutes, that's excessive. I do love how they come a couple times to top off drinks if we need it or ask how we are doing. But, there have been a few that DID come to the table a lot. Like too much and when you are trying to have a convo that is annoying, lol. We had one that was very friendly and tired apparently as he sat down next to me in the booth to talk to us ...like whyyy?!? XD Tipping has changed since back in the 70's when I was a kid. It used to be around 10% and then it moved to 15% and now if feels like 20% is expected. The thing that is annoying now though is that even at fast food places where you go up to a counter and order and get your own food, and are expected to throw your trash away, they still want tips! There's tip jars and there's a place on the receipt if you use a credit card for a tip! Like what is going on?!? You are not getting paid what wait staff are, and I'm doing all the work!! Even when you don't eat in...we'll pick up our food to go and there's this hint of "tip us". No, I'm not tipping you for fast food or food pick up. We did it during covid for the full service restaurants to help out because we knew times were lean for people. But now it's gotten ridiculous! I wish they would just pay their wait staff properly so we wouldn't have to deal with it everywhere. I know food would go up, but really it would get rid of all the begging from fast food and to go food places. My in laws say grace so it happens when we eat with them or even at Christmas, Thanksgiving etc when it's not at their house. They are very religious and it's their thing. We don't really say it very often for dinners and my side of the family doesn't. It's nice, but we don't think of it when we eat. I usually pray at other times when people or we are in need.

[@paige8453]

The noise stuff all depends on where you are, what day it is and what time it is. In my area it is usually the most crowed and loud during lunch on Saturdays. But during lunch on the weekdays, it is a lot quieter and there aren't as many people at restaurants. You just have to go at the right time if you don't want to go somewhere crowded and loud.

[@lindaperkins1394]

The tip to let them know how bad it was is a penny I believe. I've never really had bad service. I usually tip between 17- 20%

[@jph0917]

Saying Grace is usually reserved for holiday meals. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. Being Catholic, I can't speak for my non Christian friends. I'm sure my Jewish friends pray before the passover meal, but I can't swear to it.

[@JoeKier7]

The fork pointed down is great for cutting with the knife. However, roll the folk over (like a spoon) for stabbing and scooping. The frequency of saying grace is usually attached to how religious you are.

[@sherryb5369]

In the UK, servers make their wages so they don't care if you are taken care of because they're being paid a good hourly wage. In the US, servers are underpaid intentionally and have to make their money on tips. There's the difference in the quality of service between the 2 countries. If a server mistreats you or doesn't give attentive service, don't tip anything.

[@deniseharris9320]

This is a generalization, but where I'm from in the southern Midwest, it's usually the patriarch of the family that says the prayer when the family is all together for things like Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter.

[@juned1719]

My family says grace for every major holiday where we have a sit down meal or any celebration (birthday, graduation, baby shower, etc). Sometimes we hold hands sometimes we don’t. We usually have one of the little kids say a quick prayer cuz the elders say long prayers and we’re not trying to sit thru that…lol. It doesn’t matter if there are 5 people around the “table” or 25 we are saying a quick grace. The only time we might not say grace is in a restaurant if we are spread across a few tables.

[@alexandra109]

My family isn't very religious but we say grace every family meal. Not every night, but every Sunday dinner. We don't hold hands but we do bow our heads. We say a formal prayer over the food to say thanks. For context we are a fairly liberal family in downstate NY.

[@ifrit1937]

Well for me (American): 1. Fork/Knife etiquette is just hold the knife with my dominant hand (right) as it's easier to cut with it while holding it down with my fork, as for holding them I hold the fork more like a pen (with the part you're holding lined up/resting on my index finger close to my thumb with the non eating end just in the air beside my index finger's knuckle, as for the knife I hold it in a similar way to the 'British' way mentioned in regards to the blunt end of the knife usually resting on my palm as it allows more strength while cutting. I also only cut about 3 to 6 pieces at once and then put my knife down and swap my fork to my right/dominant hand to eat. This also only applies on food that need to be cut (meat, hard breads, etc), if the food is soft enough or pre-cut I just use the fork only instead (holding in the manner I mentioned above). Only occasionally will I need to hold a knife completely in my hand (as Lostinthepond called Caveman style) if something I'm cutting is very very tough. I likely due this just cause I do almost everything with my right hand that needs any modicum of precise/practiced movements...my left I generally only really use for lifting/typing on the keyboard, holding down paper/pages of a book while writing/other things in place, blocking if something falls toward my body/i was in a fight, and other less precise movements (ironically between my left and right hand my left hand while not my dominant/writing hand is the hand that displays more strength/is stronger as it can carry far more than my right hand and would be the one I use for more powerful punches in a fight/punching bag whereas my right's a bit weaker in regard to how much it can pick up and is my jabbing hand for a fight/hitting punching bags) ...I imagine if you're left handed many people would have similar habits with their left hand instead. 2. As for Grace it comes to whether your family is religious or not obviously (since the US allows any/all religions or no religion). As for my family we only really say grace during Thankgiving and sometimes Christmas when the extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins/etc along with immediate family) is all together...generally though my immediate family doesn't say grace (granted when we were very young my mom did push it for awhile but it was something that just stopped at some point...out of all of us she is the most religious in the immediate family). In public it's not done much given the small chance someone else's belief/customs may 'offend' someone of some other belief so it's very rare to see it said outside the house. 3. Regarding to how loud you are there are limits that if you're making too much of a nuisance you will be asked to quiet down a bit...especially in more expensive restaurants...bars and small dinners usually let you get away with a lot more as long as it doesn't lead to conflict. As for myself while waiting for a meal (either in the restaurant/at the dinner table) I may talk a bit (granted depends on if I'm being talked to or the conversation interests me...if neither I'll usually be quiet and just listen) but once I have food I will more or less stop talking and only focus on eating and listening and won't take part unless directly asked something (of course I swallow whatever I'm eating before talking, need to have some etiquette right lol). 4. Can more or less corroborate that this is how servers work in the US. 5. As for tips I more or less have no real problem with it due to their current wages and will generally be a very generous tipper (generally close to 50%...granted most of the times I'm only buying about $10-$15 worth of food so they're getting around $5-$7...I probably wouldn't tip more than $15 unless the meal is $80 (unless I'm paying for someone else as well i should neve rget anywhere near that...in fact I doubt I'll get a meal more than $20 if I'm on my own as any meal that costs more than that for 1 person is a BS price ($20 already pushing it) and it'd be too much food if it's multiple items' costs piling up) or more though unless I have a lot of extra cash at the moment or it's a holiday (Holidays I may just get a flat $20 even if my food was only $10 (so double the price of my food)). Now as for what type of bad service would be needed for me to give no tip at all? Pretty much if the server was deliberately being an ass to me is about the only way I'd give no tip at all (if all they were doing was not paying attention to me and all that I may still give them a tip but it's definitely gonna be far less than I normally would give...a dollar at most which would still be about 10% for most meals I grab for myself while out). How much cash I have on me could also play a role (i prefer using cash for stuff like eating at the diner and saving my credit/debit card for larger purchases...I also prefer giving cash as tips as i can clearly cut out the amount for the tip from the amount for the food...example say the meal is $9 i can give 1 $10 for the meal and then another $5 for the tip directly to the server (as there occasionally are stories of stores trying to have the tip go through the store and then either pocket a portion of their tip or spread it evenly between servers (which while arguably nice for servers who may not get great tips that day is a slap in the face to the server who got the higher tip and the customer who gave the tip (me in this case) expecting the server who served them to get the full tip).

[@RamblingRose08]

I don't say grace, but a lot of my family does and so did a lot of my friends as I was growing up. I have no problems if someone wants to say grace.

[@yoohootube]

Even thought my family made us go to church Wednesday nights and twice on Sunday, we never prayed before a meal, only on Thanksgiving. Sometimes when I went to friends' houses I would start eating and everyone would be shocked I didn't wait

[@johnl5316]

in FLORIDA our restaurants and doctors offices and hospitals and parks and beaches were OPEN

[@MD-zd5so]

I grew up saying grace before meals . I don't do it all the time now , but i still do it occasionally and always at holiday dinners .

[@ellavader8262]

I switch my knife and fork between hands usually. Getting food into my mouth left-handed was very awkward when my right (predominant) arm was broken. Waitstaff always seem to ask me how things are when I have a mouthful of food, so they get a nod and / or a thumbs up. While i appreciate them being available if i need something, if they come by too often, it can be annoying. If the service is horrid, you might leave a very small tip (it used to be a penny to show that the tip was not forgotten, but the service was lousy). Lewis, you are becoming more and more americanized. I do hope you get to come here soon and have a really great, fun experience.

[@Eniral441]

I'm not sure that you caught that we usually hold our forks with our dominant hand unless we're cutting. Most people I know don't cut side to side. They're at an angle but pointing more forward. We tend to cut forward and back. Many use their forks as guides and put the knife between the tines of the fork. When we do, we hold the fork a little more like you're stabbing something. We aren't dainty.

[@tanya41277]

It blows my mind when my friend comes over from England and he holds his fork upside down!! I NEVER use a knife unless I have steak.

[@BeautifulKittenOfLove]

We said grace at Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas because it was usually a large group. Always 12 or more at the big table and 10 more at the kid's table.

[@chriswren2559]

I have not been in many situations where we said grace before eating .... but in some parts of the country it's very common at every meal especially at home very often if you have multiple people at a table in a restaurant one or two individuals might bow their head briefly and then start eating they don't make a big deal out of it but if you were in a group grace situation all you have to do generally is just rest your hands in your lap and look down until they are finished and when they say amen you can say amen as well if you want to. Generally people are just saying they are thankful for the food and thankful for the people that could be there. -- When dining, most right handed people transfer the fork to their left hand to hold something while they use the right hand to cut it... once a few bites have been cut you rest the knife on the rim of the plate return the fork to your right hand and spear solid bites with the tines down or scoop up a bite of something that is less solid with the tines up. we almost always turn the tines up and fairly level before putting any bite into our mouth. I would say that is the norm. you're going to see variations depending on how people were raised and of course some people may have observed the European style and decided it made more sense for them so they have adopted that technique.

[@soniaalvarado5372]

I'm from L.A (State of California) and I have some relatives who say grace at every meal, some only for birthdays, weekends, Thanksgiving etc., and others never. it is definitely mixed.

[@arryssa46]

My family is Christian and we hold hands and pray before every meal no matter the even or place.

[@amberlong5498]

The wait staff in Texas is different. I will sweeten my tea and be drinking it, and often have a waitress come by and add tea to my glass without asking, so I have to stop and try to reconfigure the sweetener in my tea so it tastes right, too much or too little just wont do. If I am out, then ok refill it, but if it is not empty please ask before refilling lol. I usually have to catch them and place my hand over the glass before they can pour, have gotten a wet hand a few times though lol.

[@laurad3423]

My mother is etiquette queen. She actually got my sister and I a book on etiquette. When we go out to eat, she is constantly telling me to keep my voice down as I get excited about most topics.

[@jillollipop2978]

I grew up in a religious family and we always said grace. No longer religious, my husband and I enthusiastically say "itadakimasu" before we tuck into our food. At Thanksgiving and Christmas meals at our house with family I will usually offer some sort of blessing as I know it's important to my mom, but they're usually "spiritual-not-religious." If my mom has her way, she wants us to stack our fists around the table (rather than holding hands) and each say something we're thankful for. Then we all raise our hands and say "Yo!" I can take it or leave it, but it's always a good thing to give thanks.

[@cynthiawright254]

I have waited on people from everywhere, and trust me British people tip good, the worst tippers are canadians, all servers hate getting a Canadian table, they never tip and the french are very rude, I would pay them to just leave my table, best tippers are new Yorkers and people from New Jersey, I love those people,

[@RamblingRose08]

I have no problem not tipping if the service sucks, 15 percent if the sevice was good or a little more if the service was great. Where i live the tax is 7.5 percent, so i just double that for the tip.

[@seanspartan2023]

Some people cut food like steak with a knife in their right hand, put down the knife, transfer the fork to their right hand, and bite. This takes forever...

[@Nitehawke]

As far as saying Grace at a meal, I don't but know some who do. I simply make a habit of not beginning to eat until the host does. That way, if they do say Grace, I haven't offended anyone by beginning to eat before the meal is blessed.

[@OmahaGirl]

Same.

[@kellyem28]

Always say grace and we hold hands if the whole extended family are together ❤..I love it, it just brings us together...Texas & southerners 🎉🎉🎉

[@whiteumbrella9344]

Saying Grace is a very religious tradition. If you are not religious, you usually do not do it. It is really a prayer. I cannot remember the last time anyone I have eaten with said grace. I am from the US. My family is religious so sometimes they did it, but it was not constant. It really depends on your family, friends, and how religious they are.

[@minneyruth]

The first time I had Thanksgiving dinner at my boyfriends parents house, i started eating and his sister says to me " we gotta pray first b1tch" 😂💀🤣

[@leeannsavoy]

I grew up saying Grace before usually before dinner. I taught my kids the same. I also talk loud when I'm out to a meal with friends my daughter is constantly telling me to keep it down..😅

[@dellahowery5202]

I watched a video that said it was bad manners to eat when somebody isn't at your table. Waiters here in US asks people if they are finished with the meal and would they like to have their plates taken away. It was explained that people feel awkward sitting there when others are still eating and it was bad manners to eat when somebody doesn't have a plate in front of them.

[@kimpepper4713]

My family will typically say grace when there is a big gathering. When it comes to tipping, I will tip around 20%. If the service is bad, I will leave a tip of one or two dollars. It is not uncommon for a waiter/waitress to come up and ask us how things are in the middle of a conversation. After a breif exchange, we (my family & friends) will pick up the conversation right were we left off. There has been times when we would talk to our server for a few minutes longer.

[@BradB93]

If you manage to make it to the US, I feel like I would love to hang out with you for a bit! 😁

[@OkiePeg411]

In my area of the US i often see people say grace when rhey eat at restaurants!!! My parents and I have lunch after church every Sunday and we say grace before we eat.

[@ChautoOfStar]

I noticed up north here in the states grace or giving thanks is north just a holiday thing... normally... However in the south it's every dinner and sometimes every meal. I have lived all other the United States.

[@Banyo__]

I'm a straight up heathen, lol, according to my extended relatives, so you will never find me saying grace, but when I do visit my super religious extended family, someone ALWAYS says grace before eating. Out of respect, you just stand/sit, typically with a bowed head or clasped hands, or holding hands with the persons next to you. You just kind of follow the lead of whoever is saying it, as they will usually say bow your head or hold hands, and then you just awkwardly wait to eat. Most of my friends in my age bracket, religious or not, do not say grace. Most feel it's kind of awkward to force grace on people who don't practice or share the same religion, but they would do it if it's a holiday with family and friends.

[@OkiePeg411]

Mostly it's to show appreciation for the fact you have food to eat and that someone cooked it. The seeds came from somewhere? Someone grew it for you. The water and soil came from somewhere, the animal that provided the meat to sustain your body. Thank whatever/whomever you feel you should thank for it.

[@edwardperez9980]

In texas the servers get paid 2.13 an hour. After taxes it is about .97 and hour so they need the tips. So depending on how good the reastraunt is and how good they are they can make a ton of money. I work at a sports bar as the manager, my girls all women servers average around 70,000 a year and the good ones around 100,000.00 a year. I have one girl that averages 15,000 a month.

[@lisaoxendine7468]

We say grace. holding hands, before every meal and it is usually said by my husband. When it is not a holiday meal the children will take turns saying grace before the meal. This also extends to eating out.

[@robynbeach3198]

That guy is so funny! I love how brits can say anything with a straight face!

[@lizzaangelis3308]

Cutting with the fork is normal here for soft items such as pie. Once it’s already sliced into portions. Sometimes you need to do the jab. Then you munch on the food around the fork. It is very common among the southerners particularly usually said at formal gatherings such as Christmas etc. but some do say grace before every meal. Our family holds hands. My brother works at a bar and due to the southern hospitality once he moved to Colorado he knew who the regular people are and would have their usual drink ready for them when they arrived. When I was a server I would make rounds but if they had god drinks or they were in conversation or they were still had most of their food I’d leave them be. The only time I’d interrupt was shortly after food arrived and I’d ask how everything tasted and if there was something I could get for them. After that it was just cues. Card on table = bill food mostly gone = check glass mostly empty prior to or early in meal = top it off. If they were conversing and they had ate their food and their glass was low I’d ask at a lower part of the conversation if possible….eye’s looking around = they need something You can choose to leave any tip you want. It will never be mentioned. But if the service was bad you are of course under no obligation to leave anything at all. Generally for me if service was bad I will leave a dollar or two (depending on amount on check) if the service exceeded expectations I’d leave as much as 30%. I have given a 100% tip. They were extremely accommodating and broke their policies and I appreciated their effort in assisting me.

[@nydiajohnson3632]

There is another way to use the knife and fork I use and seen many American used them. Cut the meat with the right hand , put the knife down and transfer the fork to the right hand to eat.

[@RhiaDance75]

We only say grace at big family dinners around Easter, Thanksgiving & Christmas. We would hold hands & bow our heads. But you don't have to be religious to say grace. You're just giving thanks for having this big dinner with family & friends. It's a lot to be grateful for. Usually, one member of our family would speak up & didn't have to be the head of the house. If you wanted to, you ask the head of the house if you could & they'd always say yes. I'm not religious & we don't do the grace thing anymore mainly because everyone is scattered in the house as I have a small place--no dining room & only a small living room & kitchen. And the utensil thing... We use those words interchangeably. Cutlery is used mostly in higher-end department stores, but we go back & forth with wherever our mood takes us. I hold my fork in my right hand because I'm right-handed. It's like the stability hand while the left hand is the action hand ... kinda.

[@uwbadger79]

I haven't had grace said at most meals....but have experienced it on occasion. Loudness depends on the restaurant. At a higher-end place it won't be real loud.

[@SR-ih1hd]

Our family says grace before every meal whether at home or in public or even as a guest. My kids are older now but still say grace before eating as they were raised that if they dont thank God for their food they dont eat.

[@patriciaard4870]

For "worst" service, I still tip, but it's only about a dollar, quarter, etc, depending on how bad it was.

[@j.c.kepley6776]

From Texas here, Our family will say Grace for holiday meals: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, always. Also if my mother and or grandmother are present visiting or something like that,we have to say Grace. It’s like the LAW! Or we don’t eat lol!

[@MarySmith-pq9zt]

we weren't particularly religious but we said grace every night before dinner as a family - no hand holding. just a few words and then d/ig in. my dad was an atheist but my mom was an italian immigrant to that was more from her family tradition

[@amys8630]

At family gatherings hosted by my brother and sister in law, we hold hands and say grace. My nephews have their own version grace. “ Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay Jesus”. Always gets a chuckle.

[@spurmarks]

If I have to cut something with a knife, I will do the continental way - with fork pointed downward in my left hand, knife in my right. If I am just using a fork to scoop up mashed potatoes or something like that, my fork will be in my right hand with the tines facing up. I have never done the switch-the-fork deal. Takes too much time and effort...😄

[@juls383]

When my stepdad was alive we said grace before every meal. Now it’s just on large gathering holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. As for tipping… if the service was bad I don’t leave a tip but typically 15% is standard.

[@hollyhagelin2451]

I was taught ( private school deportment class in the early 60’s ) to hold fork in left hand, tines pointed down, knife in right, to cut food, then put knife on edge of plate, transfer fork to right hand, tines up ( at this point we were taught to put our left hand in our lap ) and then pick up the piece of food to deliver to our mouths! It makes no sense to us, when we watch Brit tv shows, to see people holding the fork in their left hand, tines down & not only cutting the food but the shoveling some onto the fork ( tines still pointed down ) to eat . . . How do you expect peas to stay on your fork - remember Sir Isaac Newton ? GRAVITY!!!! Oh, wait . . . THAT’S why ya’ll have mushy peas, so they stick to the fork. . . NEVER MIND! Maybe they told you to be quiet, not because you were too loud, but that you were just constantly talking. . . Just saying. . . If the service is REALLY lousy, you can leave 2 cents ( pennies) on the table - it means the service wasn’t worth anything . . . But usually, if you’re charging your meal, they will post a couple of amounts for you to choose from ( 15, 20, 25% ) that you add to the bill ( make sure they aren’t including the tax in the calculation! ). If you really liked the service - give it directly to the server, although some people leave it on the table, but who knows who’ll pick that up? Oh, one last thing. . . You wanna hear a noisy restaurant, come to Maryland and go to a crab 🦀 house/seafood restaurant. . . With wooden mallets ( cracking crab claws ) adding to the general hubbub!!!!

[@rb5078]

I’m from the US and my family wasn’t religious so we never said grace. I have been present at a few formal meals with other families where they did say grace and I just sat quietly. I would say it isn’t super common, but it’s definitely more common around the holidays and during formal meals.

[@devinchandler3352]

On my visit to Scotland, I definitely noticed the difference in servers. You had to get their attention to get things and to get the bill, otherwise you would be there all day. We tended to be there longer due to this than we would in the US

[@Jtuck8484]

OK so the server bit is a big one for me. I’ve worked in restaurants since I was a teenager. From what I’ve heard servers in the UK get paid a great hourly wage, and the tip is automatically included in the bill. I do understand how that could limit the amount that you’re tipped, but it also ends up being a hell of a lot more than people are usually tipped here. Servers here get minimum wage or a tiny bit more. This is what it says if you look up the minimum wage in Virginia. “Tipped employees, (Those who regularly receive more than $30 a month in tips), may be paid at the tipped minimum wage of $2.13 per hour. However, an employee’s hourly wages plus tips must meet the Virginia minimum wage rate of $12 per hour.” The amount that restaurant employees are paid is absolutely horrendous in this country. The money we are tipped is how we survive and pay our bills. As for service, we’re very big on quality service. Or at least I am. A good server doesn’t need to interrupt your conversation because they observe and anticipate your needs. They know when your drinks are low and they’ll bring you a new glass of whatever you were drinking and replace your glass with the new one quietly. We don’t really stop by every five minutes. That may be a little bit of an exaggeration. You’ll see us more before your entree because usually there’s an appetizer and/or salad so we want to clear those plates to prepare for your entree. Once you’ve received the main course, we try not to bother you as much. We’ll stop by and ask you if you enjoy it but we’ll let you be for the most part. Mostly just trying to quietly replace or refill your drinks. At least that’s what my experience and how I was trained.

[@vallarygroda8602]

My family says grace before meals & when it a special occasion like Thanksgiving usually someone will say it also . Of course not everyone does . I’ve seen people do it with closing their eyes & saying it silently too .

[@markfaulkner8191]

I like watching your reactions to Lawrence. It is a bit meta, a KZbinr reacting to a KZbinr. But I really like the comparisons and confirmations. There is a slight generational difference, and he has become more acculturated to America and British culture has changed a bit. You and Lawrence should do a collab discussing ways that UK culture has changed and stuff.

[@Ladiofthewoods]

I, a righty, hold my fork in my right hand and cut with my left. I use my fork, tines down, to pick up meat, veg etc but scoop up smaller items and things like mash potatoes.

[@michelemavias6305]

I waited tables for years and made great money! But, I always taught my waitresses/waiters only go to the table to greet/ get drink /app orders 2nd time get their main course order 3rd after 5-10 mins ask 8f everything is OK if they need anything and 4th ask if they want dessert and their check. That's it. I'm assuming ppl that don't get tipped are not as worried about giving good service. Average tip here is 20% and higher. I have a saying if I get bad service it really ruins my experience at that restaurant even if the food was great but honestly I've only had bad service a handful of times and trust me I tipped those ppl accordingly...10% if they were lucky. Fun fact...if someone leaves just a penny that means you SUCKED but if they leave bills and 3 or more pennies that means they loved your service 😊😊

[@leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586]

-Hardly ever use a knife but have seen British movies or programs where I noticed the use of the knife and fork together.. The meat is usually tender enough to cut it with a fork. We say grace before meal. -Prayer--Just close the eyes, listen and say Amen at end to thank God for providing us the ability to have a meal. Much more common at large family gatherings. The best thing to do is watch the host or head of the family and stay silent while they pray out of respect. -People do talk at meals. -Always like to go to a place where they take you to your table, hand you the menu, they ask what you want to drink and once they give you it, ask if you have decided what it is you want to order. Occasionally, if you don't get your check within a reasonable amount of time, I have either caught another server and asked for the bill or even gone to the checkout, told them I need to go and would like to pay my bill. Usually if I have had to do that, they apologize and we are ok, but the tip will be less. We have even tipped when ordering a take out meal from a sit down restaurant. -We usually tip 20 percent. If the service is bad, it will be less.

[@seijuromcp]

grace is a very individual per family/household thing here in the US you could go to a church and probably only half the people there say grace at meals at home and even less when they eat out you could go to the next church down the road in the same town and EVERYONE there says it at every meal. There are a couple anecdotal generalizations that most Americans would agree on the "more religious" someone is the more likely they are to say grace and/or areas that lean towards tradition/conservative like the south among other places. As for what's expected of you/what to do nothing but a moment of quiet and respect while grace is being said you can bow your head some do some don't you can hold hands some do some don't generally everyone says Amen afterwards but if you're not religious you can remain silent no one will hold it against you. Also as some have pointed out you're way more likely to run into it around certain holidays like Thanksgiving literally the point of the holiday giving thanks (essentially what saying grace is about).

[@risalangdon9883]

Also, if your server is really bad, you should leave a single penny on the table as the tip. That way the server knows you didn't just forget or not tip intentionally, but that they sucked at their job. However, common sense should prevail. You can usually observe what's going on around you in the establishment. You can normally tell if your server is slow due to restaurant being short staffed or kitchen is slow. Your server shouldn't be punished for something completely outside their control.

[@MR-or6yv]

From USA: As a child, we would pray before dinner when the family was around the table at home, but never in restaurants. My father, if eating lunch on his own, generally takes a moment to bow his head to pray silently for a moment before he eats. As an adult, I generally don't except for special occasions (holiday meal) or when we have dinner at my parents' home before a meal with us all around the table. We tend not to for breakfast, lunch, or when we eat a casual meal in the living room, or at a picnic, etc. When we pray, we simply bow our heads and someone (most often Dad, sometimes Mom( with say a few words of gratitude and ask for God's blessing for those who are suffering in the world, are in need, lonely, etc. Then we all say "amen" make the sign of the cross (we're Catholic) and start eating.

[@iamrrspike7132]

To say grace before a meal is mixed and not in every household. In unknown company I tend to wait to eat until the elders begin and then I know it’s safe to begin. Some families say it before every meal and even a snack but that’s less common.

[@jackiesoto906]

In the 80's I was a waitress for some years. I had a group of British tourists come one day and they were angry at me for not serving food in proper order. In the US, we serve appetizers then soup/salad then entree(main course) then dessert. My party of tourists said the soup/salad comes after the entree.

[@yoohootube]

what a terrible idea! lol

[@Rpm2878]

It's too bad they were rude about it. I wonder how often American tourists complain to European wait staff, that they didn't get their salads yet. I'd imagine it's a lot more common but hopefully they avoid making us look bad. I'm an American and prefer salad after the meal. It helps move the meal along and doesn't really take up space, so it doesn't matter that you're already full. Soup should come first though, depending on if you're having a little bit of something brothy in a multiple course meal or the soup is the entree, since it can help your stomach get ready for the rest of the meal. I've eaten in some restaurants, where they served in that order, but I'm used to the way we typically do it. I just save my vegetables until the end, especially at home.

[@shiichan32]

weird

[@jackiesoto906]

@@Rpm2878 They wasnt rude. I guess it was more of a 2 way ignorance of opposite cultures. I didn't know for instance that entree to them meant appetizers so when explaining the restaurants order of serving we both got confused lol. It all worked out in the end. We parted friends 😊

[@TopoGigio555]

I think it was rude of them to be angry the way food is served in the US … when they are IN THE US. I would never even think to criticize the way something is done when I’m visiting another country. It’s a simple matter of respect for the traditions of the country you are in.

[@GrammaNay]

So, eat with fork in dominate hand. For me that's right, for my daughter-in-luv it's left. Grace is said before every meal. And yes we'll hold hands. I think the only time we're noisier when out is when its a larger group or with the grandkiddos, they're young enough that volume control is difficult sometimes. I generally tip 20%, if it's full service. If the service is bad only 10%.

[@christinebarone2829]

It is pretty common to pray before eating.

[@sarajohnson6550]

I grew up saying Grace at every meal. Its very individual to every family. For the most part I think MOST Americans will say Grace mostly during large family gatherings like Thanksgiving or Christmas.

[@donnabailey8983]

Real Friends NEVER EVER tell you to be quiet. Real Friends join in with you.

[@brandieginther9681]

Hi American here. In some restaurants you don’t even need to flag down your server, we have signals that mean you want a refill or more coffee. You simply put your cup on the side of the table the server comes to. That’s it.

[@juliemckew1728]

We grew up saying grace but as we got older it was only holidays and now pretty much none and we never had to hold hands in my family but I've known some that did.

[@Hypothetical_Truths]

'You're in public, be loud!' I now know I absolutely couldn't take you anywhere lol - an American