Instead of Attachment | Ajahn Brahm | 04-03-2011

Ajahn Brahm talks about enjoying our possessions like family, relationships and identity without being attached to them. Attachment comes from fear and enjoyment comes from letting go of fear.
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[@TonyYee-m5f]

Dear father of modern Buddhism, your talks are a daily meal l wont miss ..l guess its ok to be attached to Buddhist teachings,which will hopefully keep me smiling when l die.

[@walterlekamge484]

I was a Christian, not by choice but because I was born to a Christian family. Numerous unanswered questions lead me to Science of Mind and Quantum Physics. Having been introduced to Ajahn Brahm's talks I have come to really appreciate Buddhist Philosophy (but not the path taken by most Buddhists in worshipping Buddha's statues). The best worship I can provide is by trying my best to practice His teachings. Thank you Ajahn Brahm.

[@RedFoxx322]

Ajahn Brahm brings together modern society with buddhism in a way that is practical, beautiful, and tactful. His messages carry a wave of love and peacefulness that resonates with anyone who truly listens. I love this man.

[@francismausley7239]

Exciting talk. "Detachment does not consist in setting fire to one's house, or becoming bankrupt or throwing one's fortune out of the window, or even giving away all of one's possessions. Detachment consists in refraining from letting our possessions possess us." ~ Baha'i Faith

[@gertudexx]

this talk brought me to tears. My whole life I been trying to understand this concept of attachment, and why it is so difficult to master. Everytime my friends go through trouble I give them this talk about attachment but they look at me and roll their eyes, but deep down I know it is the only way to find peace. That it is not a morbid or tragic process in losing someone, but beautiful and peaceful. I only aspire to really live out this talk in my life, & I believe it is truly the key to not suffering.

[@shafi1642]

Cathy Huang you are amazing

[@richardpadma7018]

Life is much simpler,with few things. Also letting go -with Wisdom+Compassion Even my whole Family as they had dumped me,shit feelings at first- very hard to be honest,but realized they were so kind... Giving me the chance to let go and remember that I have to let go of all things in the time of death and to remember that all people are in the same boat.

[@helenflutejenner4529]

❤️

[@bekstorer1441]

I also try to explain these ideas to my friends; these are the only principles that have ever brought me peace and comfort, and I want to share it so badly. Perhaps they haven’t suffered enough to want to listen. I can only offer them my unconditional compassion.

[@joanna-t4f]

You are a wonderful friend, that you share with your friends this talk. It would be the best gift for me.

[@mdlittle5466]

Well done...once, I had a great many attachments - land, home, car, job, bills, responsibilities. I'm without most now and I've started to see life in a different light. I wake up and the entire day is mine to do as I wish, my mind is not troubled by distractions which I've only unto recently realized had exceptionally little worth. What is necessary?...precious little. Thank you Ajahn Brahm for echoing my realization. With less, I have found more - in losing much, I acquired everything I need.

[@keithmurf426]

❤

[@mridulashyam]

YOU ARE GREAT TEACHER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.FUN, JOKES , SINCERITY,,HONESTLY WITH WISDOM .I LOVE THE WAY YOU CONVEY THE DEEP MEANINGFUL TEACHINGS .

[@discorabbit]

This talk changed my life, 10 years ago.

[@rogergr5019]

I am on a mental crossroad here at the age of 40. Relationship broken and alone with my son. I try to focus on this to clear my mind. Its helpful from time to time. Keep trying...

[@markhemming1423]

His concert story at 23 mins 54 secs is a truly wonderful illustration of how to enjoy something without attachment.

[@MsDJAngieD]

I do love his talks and the way he explains things especially about being brainwashed into having all these things to give us happiness. He makes me think about the biggest problems in the world, by living in smaller houses, less clothes, using public transport when u can we can help the future of humanity. How we are attached to wrong things and be attached to the right things.

[@24mymelody]

I listen to the talk every so often when I need a reminder of what really matters in life. It’s not stuff. It’s the spirit in which I live every day. Get rid of your attachments to all your extra crap and your expectations and you’ll be free at last.

[@ninjazkoolboyholk1714]

Thank you Ajahn Brahm for reminding us....felt lighter,after this talk... .sahdu, sahdu, sahdu

[@mmiw134]

What an inspiring talk. These talks have made me think that I have always been a Buddhist, I'm not materialistic at all, I really don't need much stuff. Once I had a boyfriend whose parent's offered to buy us a big house, I said no I'd rather have a small flat that we paid for ourselves. That relationship didn't last haha. In the case of evacuation I'd probably grab my pets and have no problem leaving everything else.

[@priscillakrodriguez]

Kitsune, I too can relate! About a year ago when I was first introduced to Buddhism, it was like coming home. I felt so much peace with this path. I have evolved and grown dramatically in one year of Dharma lessons, than I did with 30 years of Christianity. I moved from a big home to a small flat and sent back my expensive car and replaced it with a car I paid cash for and simple living has given me so much peace of mind. My children notice the change and are applying Buddhist principals to their own life.

[@priscillakrodriguez]

***** Oh, you must have made a mistake and thought that I attach myself to your labels. I don't even know what a loser is as I am unable to relate to that label. As the old adage goes: it takes one to know one. My personal peace is not an illusion. However, if you relate to peace as being an illusion that is because that is what it is for you. You can not speak for what peace is for me. You'll learn as you grow. Best wishes on your journey to maturity.

[@priscillakrodriguez]

Okay, if that is what you believe for me than so be it. It doesn't resonate as truth for me in the way you see it. I have a sense of personal peace that you'll never understand because you are not me. It goes both ways. We are born alone and die alone. Let's be kind during our rendezvous in this life. If you don't want to be kind, that is your choice, but I will remain compassionate regardless of your position. Namaste.

[@mmiw134]

Wlodzimierz Gontarz That's not the point at all. Buddhism isn't about believing in something and contemplating whether it's actually there or not. It doesn't matter at all if 'personal peace' is an illusion. In fact, in a way, of cause it is, it just means you found your peace of mind and you feel happy being yourself, that's all. If we feel this way, then we consider it our personal peace. It's no more, or no less of an illusion than any other feeling, and that doesn't matter at all.

[@rini177]

this is definitely a talk i will come back to more often. I can grasp the idea of not being attached to anything or anyone but the part that i need to focus on understanding is not being attached to an identity or a view of myself. I am writing this comment to hopefully come back one day and say I can understand this too.

[@jamie7378]

Brahm's lessons are wonderfull. I now realise that I am attached to pain in my body, the pain has become who I am. When I chat with others, I identify myself to them about my pain from a spine injury. I have become "that person" and its not who I am or want to be. I do have a hard time dealing with it. I used to meditate but have lost control and struggle with concentration. Someone stole the radio out of my car, but, I was able to let that go. I need to do the same here. Thanks Ajahn Brahm.

[@ayeshkasamararatne8323]

Thank you for teaching the Dhamma Ajahn Brahm.

[@madzane94]

We shouldn't fear death, however our goal shouldn't be to return here in another body. Our goal should be to become enlightened and pure so that we ascend to the heavens and not to return to this world.

[@anweshakar146]

This is incredible, mind-blowing!! So many gems in this one talk more than 13 years old! Thank you ♥️🙏🏽

[@jessicarobb5294]

I love that although this is a religion, anybody can benefit from these talks. It is not focused on religion, but each persons journey. I love it!

[@MarinoBaccarini]

5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ TO THIS TALK - AMONG THE BEST TALKS AJAHN BRAHM HAS EVER GIVEN SO FAR. AND HE GAVE MANY WHICH ARE PRICELESS. 🙏 Have you lost your job? Have you been dumped and now you feel heartbroken and you feel life isn't worth to be lived anymore? Did a family member pass away? Did a close relative move to another town or country? Did your pet got sick or pass away? Did you lose your house in a fire or quake or tsunami or flood? Did you turn homeless because you couldn't pay the rent? Stop creating the causes of unhappiness, pain and suffering: stop being attached to what you thought it was yours, stop feeling bad because you lost what you were used to calling "mine" like, my house, my life, my money, my girlfriend, my bf, my job, my car, my bike, my shoes, my computer, my husband, my wife, my children. Heartbroken? Investigate what's really makes you feel so bad because you've been dumped. Is it because you thought he or she was the perfect and ideal human being or because you were so attached to her or to him that now you lost your "identity"?

[@zsofiasimo4862]

Such a beautiful teaching, I'm so grateful to make it available for me to listen to it. My life was taking me to places and situations just like a nun I think, and slowly, in years time, my stuff just minimized. At first it really hurt to loose beautiful things and comfort I was used to, but non-attachment really makes you free, and it teaches you actually to what is important in life and what is not

[@JAWilsonwhitetidelinedesigns]

Love all of your talks. I now seek them out and my little daughter sits with me listening and we are all aglow in your big heart & your kind, wise ways. Thank you.

[@hiKrittiya]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom ka. It's not easy to detach and takes time but when I can do it I found freedom!

[@AngelaAllen40216]

Wonderful talk. Bless you Ajahn Brahm!!

[@norsangkelsang7939]

I've once heard it said many years ago, "when we give something external the power to make us happy, we give is the power to make us sad." So, I took this to mean that one can posses object, etc., but be very familiar that they are not reliable sources of happiness, those can only be found within the mind.

[@oranjjjggg]

has anyone ever disliked one of these videos? I dont think it's possible not to like Ajahn Brahm

[@ST-kr7hz]

I am going through a loss at the moment and this is much needed wisdom. Thank you venerable Ajahn!

[@crimeandpunishment1130]

Ajahn Brahm's teaching is so precious. it helps me understand the things which i overlooked before. now i can see these things a little bit more clearly from the standpoint of a true happiness. something truly important but incredibly simple. so that's why i overlooked and suffered from missing it.

[@haiyatilin1494]

This is the best explanation of Buddhist detachment that I have heard! It is very specific, and understandable.

[@smackytheclown]

Its getting to the point that he is the only source of darma talks that I watch. I know I need to branch out, but I get sooo much from Brahm. Plus no thick accent to try to work through. That sounds bad, but I haveuch a hard time paying attention to the message when I have to work on understanding the words. Anyhoo, I just love Ajahn Brahm!

[@cottoncandytetristheme8602]

You are the Master of the talks

[@loud479]

The letting go of MY is something I'm currently focusing on and it's doing me so much good

[@tkb8860]

I do enjoy the teaching, simple and valueble!

[@noahwhalen3398]

Thank you for your wisdom Ajahn - you make me want to own less! This talk sheds a lot of light in a short amount of time about how one should live & treat others. I'm grateful I can live in a time where I can access these teachings both conveniently & instantly.

[@joeykathlean9875]

Such a wonderful talk ❤ I loved watching this. Great teacher. Thank you very much 🙏🏻 3/2/2024

[@LCarefortheworld]

I’m so in debit to this Monk. Listening to his talks has helped so much. One day I’m going to his monetary to meet him.

[@amandeepbaghiana4510]

I think there is a lot of insight in this talk. The key of this talk that resonates with me is to not hoard things and attach your happiness with it. This doesn’t mean that you can’t own a nice car, a nice house, and enjoy the pleasures of life. One needs to evaluate their own lives and see what possessions are possessing your emotions

[@TheMirandaMan]

I am also consumed by the things that own. I suppose the right way is to find my balance that brings me happiness.

[@euclidofalexandria3786]

Its interesting, and beautiful because in the midst of the talk they sit behind a photographof their guru... i think it doesnt really matter if you cry or not, because nobody is gong to cry forever... most cry o0nly for a limited time, and then the wound heals itself...

[@emmanto3455]

Ajahn Brahm, so grateful for this talk. Just what I need to hear right now. Sadhu X3🙏

[@lonelydinosaur]

One of the best from Ajahn Brahm.. beautiful. Should be titled "Letting Go"

[@Gypsynyc10]

What you actually NEED is far less than what you think. I have learned that since my huge pay cut last October.

[@Sebab-akibat]

dear ajahn brahm, im very thankful for all the talks you've given to us, its very delightful to hear these talks when feeling confused and not knowing what to do in this stage of life, always bringing smile and joy for us :)

[@ramdhiwakarseetharaman5989]

A very scaring topic especially when we this applies to not attaching to people. I cry as I listen this talk everytime. This is the ultimate truth of life and the hardest to realize.

[@lyonsclairee.676]

That freedom is a privledge of being a monk our homeless are dying of basic wants

[@yinglamlui]

Thanks for the amazing talk

[@paulschnyder938]

Great talks. Mind you, try being a wandering monk in Northern Europe from November to March. You’ll need some possessions, especially a good coat.

[@buddhismforchildren3807]

inspiring talk and always like listening to Ajahn Brahm

[@thomaser82]

@Alexisme1001 Without grieving, we still show deep respect for our loved ones who have passed away. Death is a part of life and thus we need to let our loved one go away peacefully, not holding him/her back. We celebrate and reflect at how fruitful his/her life has been and say goodbye to him/her and wish him/her well. We still remember them in our heart but make peace with the fact that death is inevitable, but without grieving.

[@SanzL1]

I jumped the gun. He made all the right points. Excellent.

[@Rednuts142]

great talk ajahn brahm, sadhu SADHU SADDHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[@binauraldeandean7028]

So much love Ajahn Brahm thank you

[@aryaravish]

Thanks for the wonderful talk. May all living beings be at peace. sadhu sadhu sadhu.

[@Beatstranger]

Much that i like Ajahn Brahm, i've never been able to agree with the immobilist image of reality depicted by buddhism. It's in my innest beliefs that we should try to change the world, so I'm all up for justice, cooperation, etc etc. Should i try to dettach myself from this passion of mine and sit out there to meditate here and now and afterwards note that i should pass on whatever happens because it's going to happen? I don't think so. I try to live the middle way in a more engaged manner.

[@ravenheartwraith]

I was with my wife when she died.. Ajahn is truly right about the whole spiritual awakening part of being with someone at their death. A great and insightful talk as always. However the sad thing is, like many others, I think I have become too attached to watching Ajahn Brahm videos.. which is why the dhammatube channel on youtube is great, many other monks with teachings on there :).

[@michellecheng6817]

Before I could not understand why my dad passed away 23 years ago and I still feel sad. Then I contemplate that maybe Ajahn Brahm has we Chinese saying ‘wisdom root’ so he could experience the concert story relating with her father’s death but I could not.

[@wiimooden]

In my experience, the more things you have, the less secure you find yourself with them.

[@DanielGonzalez-op9ez]

if you can't be happy with nothing then nothing can make you happy

[@jackcarterog001]

Daniel Gonzalez Talk is cheap.

[@DanielGonzalez-op9ez]

yes it is

[@ramthian]

อนุโมทนาสาธุค่ะท่าน

[@ElLevidente]

great talk as always.

[@kathd62]

myth of ownership we come together to eventually go apart one of the most beautiful moments of life being with them letting them go and enjoy the beautiful act of love, the greatest act of love is letting one u care for go with your blessing. selfless love! beautiful love! being with without being attached let go of your identity. don't have a fixed identity! not the mother always. not a businessman always... be free to be anything try to get rid of control business. detach of controlling.

[@stevesusenet]

Thank you for uploading this talk Ajahn Brahm

[@TheBobber66]

great kindness and wisdom

[@yaiyasmin]

Haha I can relate so much to this! I have so much stuff that I don't need but I always think, hmm maybe I'll have some use for that in the future. Thank you for the talk!

[@milkmanswife93696]

concert simile sure is hella powerful. thank you.

[@tinkerbread]

Attachment is the root of pain in life one faces

[@faithn8598]

13:53 Sir Ajahn Brahm cracks a joke 😂 I watch your videos once in a while. Today I click onto this video and I feel happier and learned something. Thank you Sir Ajahn Brahm for your teaching, really appreciate it

[@PokeMellowM]

Always wise words to start the week, ^^ the problem here in Mexico it's just this 1 temple which i haven't had the chance to go, I always meditate at home, but i'd like to go to a temple ^^ so i can learn more about the Buddhist life

[@winnbrad]

Thank you.

[@mahierangaperera2272]

Not every Buddhist monk is like this Ajahn Brahm, He is special and fearless. Buddhism is like a snake you must catch it at the correct place. He has but many are suffering from venom. This is my opinion :)

[@hilostateofmind]

I LOVE your stories just so you know 🙏

[@re98wlk55]

love this guy and every talk he gives. question re reincarnation: how does it work when there are more and more people in the world? and how does one have their first life?

[@tims.2717]

48:59 This is a lesson I should take to heart. I don't truly know what's going to happen next, so I should learn to let it go.

[@wordtothewisehiphop]

Wonderful.

[@Jdudeo]

@standingcorpse You make good and valid points, different teaching styles for different learning styles, that's probably why I gravitate more towards Zen buddhism than the more traditional approach, I wasn't so much trying to discredit him as I was expressing my own opinion, I also wish you well on your journey.

[@Queen0fNoize]

This is beautiful. Thank you.

[@ThayliaAcoustic]

I really enjoyed this talk, and also the one called be hopey :) Ive also been down to the Buddhist centre in Nollamara and had the privilege of hearing Ajahn in person. The buddhist teachings are inspiring my life each day and I even wrote an original song and posted a video called Hope which was partly inspired by his talk Be hopey... :) thanks for your great insight into how to live a life of peace and happiness :)

[@VERVICY]

You help me to get by when i'm at my lowest....which is most of the time thanks!

[@SanzL1]

I'm pretty attached to....you name it. I'm working on it, though. However, if you invest a lot in things or people, your attachment is understandable, no? If you live as an ascetic, you haven't invested in this way, so it's easy to be detached. Blessed is the man who has things, doesn't have sufficient wealth to replace them, AND isn't freaked when they're lost or stolen.

[@MeatyMcBaconBeacon]

Sandra Lavini is

[@SanzL1]

Matthew Pelter Good reply!!

[@SandraLovesSun]

They weren't born monks. They had invested prior to in material goods. And they are invested in many people. Think of all the people they speak to outside the monastery, and all the people they live with within. An ascetic could be invested and attached to their surroundings, their friendships, their job if they aren't mindful. Like anything, it takes practice. They are just like you and me.

[@thisisbob1001]

He makes some good points

[@thomaser82]

@Alexisme1001 To me, the Buddhist courage in the face of death is about letting go of things and making peace with things. Any fear or struggle creates more trouble. You can't control death. But you have control how you respond. By not fearing death, you have a peaceful and happy death.

[@RebeccaG107]

Chameleon….lol! Love it.

[@NeilGerardCFox]

Really helpful

[@Jdudeo]

@standingcorpse I remember another talk he did where he complains about people who complain about the weather, saying something like "if you can't change the weather, don't let it get on your nerves", why not apply that simple concept to other people? People will always complain about the weather, so why complain about them? Using them as an example is all fine but as I said it's more his tone of voice that bothers me, because the irritation and sometimes desperation seems very tangible.

[@TonyPrower]

But I get a lot of happiness from planning - and remembering. Do we have to completely let go?

[@katwebsteryoga]

love you AB, alwats making me giggle x

[@astha750]

amazing.................

[@jessicarobb5294]

Good talk

[@thomaser82]

@Alexisme1001 If we grieve, our loved one at the death bed might not be able to pass away peacefully on seeing us crying excessively. To me, such grieving is selfish; it is adding more pain to our dying loved. Without grieving, we can still show our support and respect to our loved one in a calm manner so that our loved one can pass away peacefully. You certainly do not want to see your friends and parents crying when they are sending you off at the airport. And likewise for our dying loved one.

[@kenzieberr7263]

thomaser82 I love your comment. Beautiful

[@marillavanbeuren8572]

Brilliant as always 35,45, letting go of my victim role, "my identity"?? now I have to form a new personality, too much for many to manifest.

[@Hectorjohn73]

Great talk (-:

[@Ruthsnow]

Thank you. Namo Buddhaya __()__

[@beboppinhaley]

I really appreciate your comment, but I'd like to just say that buddhists don't worship the statue of Buddha, just pay respects for His teachings and passed knowledge. Thank you again for your comment.

[@angelboi88]

Really made me lighter

[@konradnsa]

this is life changing teaching :)

[@sashikadinal]

Point is not that, where is the true happiness...i was like u..... one day u will realized what he saying ..True.

[@Christrulesall2]

Is the need a validation to the point were you feel a sense of rejection by family a unhealthy form of attachment? I developed some type of Stockholm by needing them to include me. They just talk among themselves without including me in anything and they are all i have. I spent my life alone due to add and social anxiety disorder. I never even had a relationship in my life, and im 36.

[@larryprimeau5885]

sometimes you have to own your anger to the limit, in order to let it go.

[@speedyaspielevelup9444]

What prefix should we use instead of my? for example, my mother. How else can I say that? You said the problem lies in our use of my when referring to objects of attachment.

[@NewLeaf88]

As Bruce Lee once said, "Be Water My Friend."