CALL OF DUTY: GHOSTS (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Call of Duty: Ghosts.
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[@AlternateHistoryHub]

Maybe its called Ghosts because everyone is Burly white guys.

[@4568plonk]

It's called Ghosts because the Ghosts are a fictional elitist military squad. How original.

[@AlternateHistoryHub]

The Jackal You must be fun at parties.

[@Deathshade347]

The Jackal Elite or Elitist?

[@Melkac]

It's called Ghosts because no one wants to see the game.

[@kimbertactpro9]

its called ghost cause of that one dude from mw2 that everyone thought was cool

[@scottski02]

"If that happened in Ghosts you'd probably just fart out all the radiation in one heroic guff, pull the broken glass out of your eyes and use it to shiv the Ayatollah." You know, call me crazy, but CoD SHOULD go down that route. The series is so over-the-top and such a joke now that going full-on, 100% self-aware parody with its next game seems like the best choice.

[@Morningstar91939]

Black Ops 2 had the self-awareness down, but not the parody part.

[@Former_Halo_Fan]

I always hate how stealth in CoD games really just consists of lying in some grass as someone tells you what to do. Then once you get what you came for your cover is immediately blown. Seriously, is there any CoD mission where you make it in and out undetected? It makes me wonder how the protagonists even become elite soldiers if during every mission they end up shooting their way out.

[@dragirby]

I remember there was this one mission where you had to time shots with your co-op partner to take out multiple targets at once. But that stealth segment was completely avoidable and the stealth part was for an achievment...

[@Pan_Z]

This is why CoD never should have moved out of the WWII genre, and transferred itself to a Special Ops themed shooter. I feel the CoDs downgraded. Look at CoD 3 and pay close attention to the variety of features and how they empathized on the game being about war, not some excretion meant to lead you to buy some overpriced DLC. I am not disparaging some "master-piece" of a genre, which kicked of with its 6th= I MEAN 4th game, but honestly I don't understand why people buy this franchise anymore, as they could play CoD 3 for a larger arcade shooter that requires more talent to implement effectively, play a larger scale war game such as Battlefield, not buy another CoD for 5 years to see some actually change in the franchise, or drink a liter of tar, and bash their face into their console until they realize how repetitive this series is.

[@dizzydoom4230]

HaloAndMinecraftFtw Well, remember, it can't be the brilliance of stealth that Dishonored has. (I wouldn't know how good it is in Thief, I haven't played it.)

[@PwnageMode]

"All Ghillied Up" in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare was pretty awesome.

[@Former_Halo_Fan]

***** I haven't played Dishonored so I can't have much of an opinion on the stealth, but that's completely different. What I'm mostly trying to say is that lately CoD's stealth hasn't really been stealth. You snipe and stab a few guys, and then your cover is blown. For example, in a Modern Warfare 3 mission you swim under some docks and into a sewer to sneak into the city. After a few close calls, and the already mentioned sniping, you come across an army of men. But rather than finding some way around, Price decides that the best course of action is to attack them head on with his own army, effectively turning the entire city into a warzone. Yet for some reason, Markarov's (The guy you're there to kill) meeting isn't canceled the next morning. Or the mission where you sneak into a fortress. You leave behind a ton of bodies just waiting to be discovered, and to top it off Price throws a grenade into the control room. Not to mention that in every single stealth mission an NPC holds your hand through it.

[@theblankchannel3367]

that moment you realize the review is more entertaining than the game.

[@chrisubhi1655]

The moment that you found a worthwhile comment

[@spoonScribble]

chris ubhi The moment that you found a worthwhile reply to a comment

[@Zalmegra]

***** The moment you feel there is hope for humanity on the toobs.

[@adrianshephard6321]

The moment where you want to keep this joke alive...

[@ncc9610]

That moment when you totally agree

[@orangeboi3387]

the latins finally get some fucking significance in a cod game aside "brazil fabela guerrilla warfare fucks" and its fucking cod ghosts

[@colinburke8389]

We only outsourced it to Megatron because Unicron was busy.

[@SOGTheGamer]

omfg, lmfao

[@Betta66]

You cannot destroy his destiny!

[@karlseider6237]

Lol!

[@colinburke8389]

Thank you/you're welcome

[@zyad48]

3:54 "incidentally the ghosts are well fucking equipped for a guerrilla unit." aaaaaaaaand thats when Ghosts' plot goes out the fucking window

[@downsjmmyjones101]

That Monty Python analogy was surprisingly accurate and very well deserved.

[@the_Red_Star]

1:46 this bit stuck with me. "outsourcing their weapons development to fucking megatron" is such a fantastic way to say "levels of megalomania that should immediately flag anyone as a villain"

[@thescribeinyellow3985]

Hehe, Megatron in charge of weapons development... that sounds potentially interesting...

[@sailoritaly]

At least more interesting than this game?

[@Clara_Page]

+TheScribeInYellow Michael Bay heard you there :-D

[@theatomicbonbon3717]

+Clara Pagett OH SH*T!! EVERYBODY HIDE!!! MICHAEL BAY IS MAKING A GIANT SPACE SPACE GUN THAT SHOOTS EXPLOSIVE DOGS!!!!!!

[@Krebons1200]

+The Atomic BonBon dont worry! you'll be fine as long as you're a white guy!

[@theatomicbonbon3717]

Krebons1200 Huh. Uh. Hm.

[@TheJamieellis]

That is one of the things that i found odd. The opening title sequence makes them out to be unstoppable sneaky ninja guys, yet you do no sneaking!!! there are no levels that are full on stealthy, stealthy, stealthy.

[@Ignore181]

They're not Ghosts as in "woo we're sneaky Ghosts", they're Ghosts as in "PEW PEW PEW PEW YOU CAN'T STOP US"

[@1xrosexredx1]

I think because "Poltergeists" has too many syllables for their target audience.

[@AcceptSolitude]

Nono LOL so true. Love your name btw.

[@1xrosexredx1]

AcceptSolitude Thanks! Yours is neat too, actually has a concept.

[@Un-ht5bc]

Hammerhead547 Just like almost every american citizen. lol

[@DreamcastGuy]

This is probably the best review Yahtzee has ever done, and thats saying such a huge statement since his track record is so strong! Keep up the fucking AMAZING work!!!

[@stupidflandrs4856]

Oh, innocent Dreamcastguy from 2013... if only you could have known what Yahtzee would do to the Shenmue series

[@BiSk0iT01]

He didn't even talk about the revolutionary fish A.I.

[@archangelofstories5565]

1:46 the most realistic reaction to this plot element I've ever seen 🤣

[@ЮлианБродняк]

I'm glad he didn't jam that promotion down our throats.

[@ЮлианБродняк]

oh god, I'm so sorry. Please, tell me and tell me true, how can I preserve my humour?

[@ЮлианБродняк]

yeah, you butter be careful around me

[@massdefect1]

Best series of jam-based jokes ever.

[@ЮлианБродняк]

Awww thanks! Everyone else is just jelly ;)

[@ECL28E]

Play Hatfall

[@HelenaRedgrave]

For once I want to see an FPS in which you play as the member of a small guerrilla unit in a third world country that's under attack by the US, who has gone mental (more son than normal) and is planning on taking over the world.

[@nou8257]

shit what about the cuban revolution when castro wasn't a dictator. it would be a guerrilla style enviroment and no U.s involvement that i remember but it would be interesting to play threw that piece of history espicly if it was a good fps.

[@Koshunae]

I think Mercenaries is about as close to this as you'll get. Interesting game really. It had incredibly destructible environments as a bonus, at least 2 did, I'm not sure about the first, anyways it was really up there in gameplay for its time.

[@nou8257]

The first while a great game lacked stunning Graphics and some little things but it was solid Merc's 2 Kinda mixed feelings on it since Just Cause 2 kinda took Merc's thing and cranked it up a few notches that games world map is huge and you can go to all of it O.O.

[@TheBlarggle]

While not under attack by the US, the Metro games feature non-americans shooting guns at things... Aliens I think. Or interdimensional beings. I forget which. Pretty game.... But as repetitive as any other FPS in which the main goal is to run to the end of the level while shooting as many things as possible.

[@wtflol3657]

While that idea would be superb, it'll never sell. Killing hundreds of thousands of those "brown" people? No problem. But killing American soldiers? God forbid. American news outlets will say the game is teaching kids about terrorism and that maybe America isn't always right, and whoever designed that game will be flooded by hate mail and even death threats by parents

[@TraustiGeir]

CoD: Ghosts in a nutshell: It's a chest...full of old toys. The End.

[@jacybrooks8566]

Not much more needed

[@TraustiGeir]

Jacy Brooks Not for CoD, apparently.

[@ProPcGaming1]

+TraustiGeir Yep. And you don't even have the freedom to play with each of them whenever you want. You have to wait for the section where the developers give you permission to use a certain "toy"

[@TraustiGeir]

ProPcGamer Playing the dog was very cool, too bad it only lasted 15 minutes.

[@darksnakenerdmaster]

I want to see a stealth game where you play as a german shepard posessed by a demon (A.K.A. the player) that takes over their mind and makes them stealthily hunt people. It'll be like okami for bastards

[@vuur150]

God this is so fucking accurate and his tone is just making it more hilarious

[@harrisonschaerr3267]

"die in a pose that confuses future archealogists" lol

[@Gboy86ify]

1:17 I couldn't stifle my laughter. I don't think he could have more accurately described the CoD community if he tried.

[@Jaceblue04]

"If that happened in CoD: Ghosts, you'd probably just fart all the radiation out in one big heroic guff, pull the broken glass out of your eyeballs and then use it to shiv the Ayatollah." lolz

[@MagpieDynamics]

The part with the guy in Braveheart paint, wielding a claymore and smacking it against a windmill is most likely a reference to Don Quixote. I like it when Yahtzee adds in clever little references like that.

[@horatioiaint7573]

I am happy to see that another person recognized the reference. I've been looking for months to see if someone else has.

[@EduardoFlores-bt4fo]

epicsauceness100 Oh good, you recognize a reference that every cartoon has ever made from the beginnings of the book, You must be the king of the hill of knowledge and culture.

[@caidenkaos8166]

+epicsauceness100 Lambda complex?

[@MagpieDynamics]

Shλdow Ember Yup.

[@caidenkaos8166]

epicsauceness100 Better grab the Gluon gun.

[@nis5e]

Listening to Yahtzee recounting the story, i could _almost believe_ that the writers meant to do a Spec Ops: The Line-style twist, where the U.S really does turn out to be the bad guys, but EA cut it short of that, and what we're left with is basically set-up for an antagonist that never has their fall.

[@pokemonmanic3595]

Except EA isn’t CoDs publisher-Activision is

[@bluestormpony]

i just got a us army ad that shows soldiers gunning from that F*cking video game twin propeller-ed thing that doesnt exist or if it does sure as fuck isnt used by the military. doing a d-day style beach landing.(which the US hasnt done since the korean war if you wanna be generous) and lastly charging a battle line rambo style....which again the US hasnt done since korea and when "we"(cause im american though i am wishing i wasnt by an increasing amount each day) did we got our ass handed to us by china. since that war the only thing american soldiers have done is get told to fight multiple un-winnable guerrilla wars as in-efficiently as possible and also piss off as many people as they can while doing so.. finally ending with the tagline "which way would you run?" which was the eye rolling cherry. cause the answer is "not into the machine gun fire, if thats what you are asking we already did that, its called world war one"

[@delta8270]

+odd135 They actually are quite useful for MED- and CASEVAC but pretty certainly not used to carry troops into Battle.

[@delta8270]

***** The Speed advantage actually comes down to it being 90% faster than the CH-47 and 60% faster than the UH-60, which for a bleeding soldier is rather considerable. You are right about it being hard to land for normal helipads but as the US are setting up their frontline military hospitals on aircraft carriers to make them harder to attack by guerilla forces, the Osprey can actually land there and due to its speed it increases the survival chances of wounded troops. I think it can also carry more troops than the UH-60 (although less than the CH-47) so ( at least for CASEVAC) it is be the superior option due to its blend of capacity and speed. It is also easier for the medics to move around in and is flying more stable during high wind speeds, making emergency operations less dangerous.

[@BifronsCandle]

I remember being excited at the prospect of pure tenacity saving the day in Ghosts. I thought the ghosts would really on guerrilla warfare to accomplish their objectives. Instead, it's superior technology that wins, like every modern CoD. Sure am getting the "underdog" vibe :|

[@tkristians123]

Yeah....Pretty much what I'm thinking. CoD 2 And CoD4 MW the best.

[@abdalrahman4482]

this game is 10/10 it has advanced fish A.I

[@ejkinsella]

Hahaha

[@inquisitorgrand]

I love how the E3 guys hyped that part of the game up as an example of the power next-gen consoles, despite the fact that Super Mario 64 had the same AI tech 20 years prior.

[@littlefieryone2825]

Those, indeed, were the cod ghosts. The protagonists imagine them because they want to be in a more interesting game.

[@Valpi_Soko]

In the word's of Vas from Far Cry 3, The definition of Insanity is that of repeating the same fucking thing over and over again expecting something to change.... CoD in a nutshell

[@PussPussGaming]

Fer Morales They said themselves that it isn't a new engine.

[@OpenMawProductions]

Fer Morales Yeah, you're an idiot.

[@Valpi_Soko]

***** I added the word fucking, And Vas used fucking in it, therefore it was Vas :P

[@Valpi_Soko]

***** XD When did this shooting happen???

[@deriznohappehquite]

“A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways.”

[@ProtoMario]

I relate COD to an Action Packed Block Buster. Its fun, and great. But in the end you only really wanna play through it one time.

[@TheNextEvil]

Fairly accurate, but you have to remove "fun" and "great" from that description.

[@limemime565]

Hey Proto.

[@maxsimeck902]

it's fun, until you replay it and realize how poorly written and racist it is.

[@MCrex007]

TheNextEvil "I relate COD to an Action Packed Block Buster. "Its, and. But in the end you really wanna play through it one time." Dunno, something seems off.

[@maxsimeck902]

waitwat

[@Jaceblue04]

I agree with Yahtzee on one thing: this is definitely NOT a game about fish spirits hanging around Captain D's and Long John Silver's restaurants.

[@TheBeachCityCritic2250]

Can't make their own super-weapons? They did, at the end of the game. There's literally an entire mission centered around that one objective, to take the enemy-equivalent of ODIN.

[@adampoole948]

cod should have a game mode where your guns are replaced with purses and you have to slap you enemies to death with them lol

[@icanusernamebetterthanyou3853]

No. Because that's a mod. And mods are creative. And we don't want a creative game industry now, do we?

[@requiem4ameme2]

And if you get five kills with your handbag, you can call in an airstrike that bombards the map with larger, explosive-filled handbags. Don't forget the seven-kill bonus, which allows you to open your handbag and summon a pack of vicious chihuahuas.

[@greatgaming8588]

YES

[@sheepphic]

4:37 Nice Don Quixote reference

[@EffectFantasy]

lost in la mancha is too good

[@billclubbe1241]

i thought i was the only one to get it

[@duxnihilo]

Where.

[@Kingdeathtrooper]

@@duxnihilo The windmill and being disconnected from reality.

[@flutegaming8036]

Is it just me, or does the black guy always die first?

[@ncc9610]

Yep, but on AW the black guy dies before the last mission. The first guy to die is Will

[@FrozenSoop]

Nye Covington Will Smith*

[@mobiusZero2]

The fastest black guy died was at dead space 2

[@EraVulgarisX]

Evolved Gaming You ever play Left 4 Dead?

[@lachlanrobertson4825]

Evolved Gaming Just like in the 80's

[@nathgriff101]

That's so true, the dog was literally in like 3 levels and the third one got shot, all about publicity with you cod isn't it! Tell me!

[@Hifuutorian]

Honestly, the Federation are the good fucking guys, what the hell was America doing with that Orbital Death Platform anyway? See how much damage it did in one volley in the first mission? Then the Federation's version uses smaller, much more localized ones that are arguably better (Still an Orbital Death Platform, but whatever.) All throughout the game the only thing I could think of was. "Those guys are the good guys.", at least with the other CoD games I have to play a little bit before coming to that the conclusion.

[@SuperLordGaming]

+Patrich Urso Here's another good question...why did we have our space laser thingy pointed at US?

[@Hifuutorian]

SuperLordGaming I think they changed the orbit, the point still stands though.

[@MaxTheGreat14]

And here's another, why the f**k would the U.S. have orbital laser weapons?

[@Hifuutorian]

MaxTheGreat14 Because plot convenience. Its plots like that though that make me say. "Huh, maybe the rebels who hate America are in the right here."

[@lonewolfM16]

I mean, when one side built a giant space weapon, and another side used it to wipe out population centers. Sure, you can argue the US shouldn't have built the thing (though I'm not sure it's that different from the already existing nuclear arsenal) but once you use it to wipe out population centers to aid in your invasion you've kinda lost the moral high-ground.

[@charlieni645]

This basically sumed up what's wrong with CoD campaign.

[@Onewhoknowslife90087]

Gotta love that Don Quixote reference at 4:37.

[@Corpsolian]

And now, everyone's favorite yearly bowel movement!

[@gibshit4118]

Whenever I’m having a bad day I watch one of Yahtzee’s call of duty reviews to cheer me up

[@OCMOOO]

YES! My new fix zero punctuation!

[@selectivelylucid1692]

This came out last week.

[@Fridgeworks]

Pommy McMuffin He means the video

[@EpicFlyingCat]

Fridgeworks Which came out last week.

[@Fridgeworks]

Do you mean on their website? Some of don't use or ever visit it. So for me, this came out just now

[@JohnnyKidder]

EpicFlyingCat Not on youtube = It doesn't exist

[@Clara_Page]

Why aren't cod games just called "White guy shoots everyone and everything that isn't a white guy" or would that count as a plot spoiler

[@hansabrams1258]

+Clara Pagett It should actually be called "People from USA shoot anyone that isn't from USA because they are communists and hate freedom" Russians are still white people.

[@ЮлианБродняк]

+Clara Pagett 10 WORDS OR LESS GODDAMMIT! I CAN'T READ THESE NOVELS!

[@dtice69]

+Clara Pagett are we forgetting the first 3 games where we punch out endless streams of cackling, evil nazis?

[@Clara_Page]

dtice Ahh that's true It's too easy to forget that COD used to be a world war shooter series before they started printing endless variations of Modern Warfare

[@thematthew4324]

+Clara Pagett god forbid any shooter having a brown person dying in, every time there's a cod game with a non white guy dying in it, everyone forgets every part where a white guy dies, you know, like 80% of the series.

[@letsmutiny]

just picked up my first ps3.. for 60 bucks. GAWD i love new console releases

[@disturbedrocks1996]

Lucky sod

[@2355Kyle]

How is this relevant to this vid ? And PC MASTER RACE KNEEL BEFORE OUR MIGHT YOU FILTHY PEASANTS!!

[@2355Kyle]

***** At least I'm able to upgrade it, unlike having to wait for a new console to come out with tech on it from 3 years ago... ;3;

[@Lt_Voss]

***** Unfortunately now it doesn't mean having games consoles can't run, because games today are made with consoles in mind and PCs tacked on as less than an afterthought.

[@thunderwolf2005]

"ORBITAL FUCKING MISSLE WEAPON?!?!" cracks me up every time.

[@animarthur5297]

"The US has been invaded by all of South America." Me,a Latin: Here comes the stereotypes

[@arthurdent6256]

He he, I got the windmill reference. I am so clever and smart...

[@jacybrooks8566]

Clever bugger

[@RarefoilB]

I swear it's Gabe from Yahtzee's LPs doing the "Jaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmm."

[@MrEarlSwift]

and as i looked at Yahtzee's review, i didint scroll down to the comments untill it was over, i paused for a moment, and thought: I BET you if i scroll down, I'll see a lot of baseless racism, tea party members going on about nothing, people from other countries bashing america, and people talking about just how stupid the cod universe has become. I scrolled down, and was not proven wrong.

[@pokeman5699]

by 'bashing' the US im sure you mean pointing out stuff you dont want to admit is true...well, no, most of the comments are still americans insulting back those people, thus proving those facts correct

[@pokeman5699]

***** no, i said non-american comments talk about the US and how it seems some of its people act and think(in this case, about how americans make most of their shooter games center around them and how egocentric they are), then americans themselves reply acting the exact same way they were said to be or simply by insulting not that they all do it...but ive seen it pretty often

[@Cleath78]

Excellent use of litotes in the last sentence of that comment. (Litotes is a rhetorical device that denies the opposite of something)

[@supercoolguy43]

Anon The problem is, most times when non-Americans insult America, it's usually either elitist nonsense or just a straight up "Fuck America [insert country] is better" Sure there are problems with the US, I'll never debate that until we bring about world peace and end all suffering in the world. But when someone has baseless criticisms for your country, you're bound to get defensive.

[@pokeman5699]

supercoolguy43 funny americans tend to get offensive, not defensive and btw you're hypocritically using the most common american argument when this topic comes up: "Fuck [insert country], America is better"

[@dynostretch9215]

I just want to take a brief little moment to acknowledge how adorable Yahtzee and at the dog are hiding in the tall grass at 2:57.

[@NewAgeSigma]

Just want to say that I feel like I've watched almost every zero punctuation and I appreciate what you do Yahtzee

[@RoyalFusilier]

One of my favorite comments about Ghosts was something to the effect of >CoD has a dog as a main character before it has a woman as a main character. It says so much, doesn't it? Even Gears of War (which I loved because sometimes you need to embrace the part of your mind that loves the idea of a chainsaw bayonet) got in on that whole 'diversity' thing better than you, CoD. And the Gears live in the remnants of an authoritarian-style society's apocalyptic future but we can STILL find more Non White Men to include than you with your seven billion people on Earth.

[@chiar0scur0]

Well, to be fair it wouldn't make sense for women to be in the kind of combat roles depicted in COD. All the WWII ones had no women in the infantry, Modern Warfare focused on spec-ops, Black Ops was same, Ghosts was more of the same. It's all in a universe with the same rules as America's military. Gears of War is in a fictional universe, and can depict as many women warriors as it wants.

[@emoteen011]

***** except for the insanely small possibility that you are shooting guns in space and this takes place in reality? basically if follows military protocol of not having women in spec ops because having a vagina makes you a liability but doesn't follow the god damn laws of physics. this is in reality right?

[@AllGamesAwesome]

***** Yes, although these certain things aren't realistic, Call of Duty: Ghosts takes place in an 'altered' reality to our own. Not an entirely different universe It is actually possible to fire a gun in space.

[@emoteen011]

AllGamesAwesome Completely ignoring the woman thing, if you fired a gun in zero g it would send you flying just like the bullet. i am quite sure that is bad for game flow if you fire your gun and you are sent to the beginning of the level and knocked out.

[@AJudgeFredd]

Call of Duty: Finest Hour (I think) had a woman who was your sniper/ sniper spotter on the Soviet Front, argument destroyed, you've been lawyered.

[@pigpig252]

When I first heard about CoD Ghosts I thought it was like the zombies mode but you were fighting ghosts so basically a coop ghostbusters thing, that would be great!

[@KaiserSynd1918]

They have that. It is called multiplayer for ghostbusters the video game.

[@pigpig252]

Tuffluck 1337 omg I must find that!

[@marcelrows506]

Just discovered this channel AND ITS SOOO DAMN GOOD !!!

[@LordConstipation]

Please enjoy responsibly. Don't watch too many at once. You'll find that days will pass without you noticing, among other symptoms.

[@ChunkNinja]

If you start using colorful language to describe mundane events or begin talking in a fast paced, Anglo-British accent seek immediate medical help.

[@justanaverageguy912]

ChunkNinja only if it lasts longer than four hours.

[@ShiftySetax]

ROFL The Braveheart Expy attacking the Windmill, awesome reference to Don Quixote.

[@93MANIAC]

0:34 I suddenly would really like to play a Call of Duty game set during the Cod Wars where you are a former SAS member that is currently making a living as a fisherman until Iceland declares war on the UK and it's up to you and your squad to save the day for queen and country but little do you know that the war was actually started by vengeful fish that were able to secure some nukes from the Soviets in return for long lost Atlantean technology

[@jaohonaxa]

The only way that COD could possibly go downhill from here is if they ever make a Ghosts sequel about how the villain and his newly brainwashed victim from this game (spoiler warning, though if you actually care that's sad) team up with a "terrorist" group composed solely of Native Americans and the ending is a final assault on their HQ located in a site like Wounded Knee.

[@thejayst3r]

This is one of my favourite zero punctuation episodes - every point is dead on

[@RamRam.720]

0:35 i would buy that game

[@NoLChefoTSM]

For next year I want Call of Duty: Democracy, where a bunch of white dudes with guns hunt down nuclear weapons in the East and save America from the evil terrorists and... what's that, Fairy of Shit games? That's been the plot of the series for how many years? Well fuck me.

[@Zelousmarineinspace]

Don't worry: I'LL SAVE YOU!!! * Hands a copy of Spec Ops: The Line *

[@NoLChefoTSM]

Zelousmarineinspace *Catches box. I've played it, but thanks regardless. =D

[@CloudCuckooCountry]

What do you all want to bet next year that when another CoD inevitably comes out that Yahtzee's review of it will inevitably contain another callback to that one nuke scene from CoD 4?

[@bobbobberson3386]

I WANNA BE A LOSER WHO SITS AT HIS COMPUTER ALL DAY! Oh wait i am already that.... um A BIG BURLY WHITE GUY! No no no, everyone would call that racist. A BIG BURLY BLACK GUY! the problem is i'm not black. NOBODY! it's the perfect plan!

[@phoenixsplash135]

Probably because ever since COD 4, they have been trying to recreate that moment by having a 'shocking' scene in each game

[@Ultrapyre]

I saw this review coming from 50 miles away, and it was everything I hoped it would be. Not a single mention of the word spunkgargleweewee tho. Yahtzee's slipping :V

[@DinsRune]

Does Activision know that the South America is made up of more than one country?

[@Dragacane]

Just for kicks I searched 'burly white dudes' in youtube and this was the 2nd video.

[@guziman1963]

maybe if we (burly white dude) say burly white dude enough we can (burly white dude) beat whatever (burly white dude) is at the "burly white dude" top (burly white dude) did i mention burly white dude

[@femoman]

4.38 - Oooh, and now a Don Quixote reference too?! Yahtzee, you are a well-read one! (Said reference being the character attacking a windmill, which is a classic scene in the original story, when Don Quixote mistook a bunch of windmills on a hill for an army of giants)

[@bakedpretzels1378]

Finally someone who hates call of duty as much as I do! and you forgot apart of it my friend riley he was playing the bit where you are in space and he had a grenade launcher attachment and when he fired it curved down as if there was gravity along with the ability to hear gunshots in space.I am just entering highschool and I am more intelligent then the people who make a million dollar franchise.

[@theamzer]

~650k views ~10k likes and only 171 dislike. Truly your views on pop entertainment are on the furthest of fringes...

[@0fucksftw]

almost everybody hates call of duty kid, and its not becuase of an unrealistic space fight sequence

[@0fucksftw]

Jacob Dragonfist You said you just entered high school fucktard

[@bakedpretzels1378]

ah damn

[@Karawawa]

he does like cod 4 just sayin it is the best one ITS LIKE RES 4 the only good one

[@Tofuey]

I swear I watch this once every month or so.

[@paladinboyd1228]

M, Same.

[@Dusty--]

What you expected something different? This is cod, same moneygrab shit different year

[@falsehero2001]

Maybe they'll do something fresh, interesting, and imaginative with the next game. And maybe my shit will turn purple and smell like rainbow sherbet.

[@khalwalsh5146]

mmmmmm sherbet

[@ChilupaKing]

I have been waiting WEEKS for this!

[@karmapunch3410]

Highlights of this: - "...not only is the US outsourcing their weapons development to fucking Megatron" - Aslan: PLEASE STOP THAT

[@CannonBolt112]

Ah Call of Duty, the one thing I will always agree with Yahtzee on.

[@paulramirez8545]

This is one of best reviews he has ever made.

[@SigmaSyndicate]

*sees Zero Punctutation video about Call of Duty: Ghosts* "Oh man, this is going to be good."

[@hermit_36]

I seriously hope that when people say "Americans", they don't mean every single one of us. That's really unfair.

[@hermit_36]

+Persona Ohnlyne Well no, it doesn't. And I know it isn't every individual one.

[@starkiller23610]

+Persona Ohnlyne Being American isn't a choice, wherein being Muslim is. Furthermore being American has no commandments, only laws to not break - wherein the Habit and Quuran both condone killing, underage sex, rape, domestic violence, anti gay and sexist views.

[@CorporealHunter]

Well being Muslim isn't technically a choice since most people are forced into it and receive such conditioning so as not to question or go against their religion despite receiving evidences of why they should, even going into moral strain when faced with more persuasive material. Besides laws and commandments are the same thing, things you should follow so as not to receive punishment. Besides, Americans themselves are just technically rebels and thieves that participated in lots of murder and rape and still do if the wars are anything to go by. Modern day Americans may not do these things, same goes for modern day muslims who won't kill or rape or participate in domestic violence or adhere to any moral view.

[@pvkvicky2000]

This is by far your best review yet. heck , you put more effort into this review than the entire dev team for this game and a lot more entertaining than all of them.

[@Cam3ronH3i1man]

Even if you love CoD DO-NOT-BUY-THIS!!!!

[@TimSenna]

This. This is his best review ever.

[@IanPeon]

Well at least, it's really damn great, especially considering I never played this game, nor will I ever, but I was thoroughly educated and entertained at the same time. Personally, his "Bioshock" review was what made me a fan of his, and it's especially great if you've played "System Shock 2."

[@Charizard100000357]

that last line, priceless

[@SPM0717]

Tim Senna Only because everyone hates Ghosts (I'm not an exception), but it's not his best review ever.

[@Charizard100000357]

true, but there are those few awesome lines

[@Yamartim]

Can`t believe he didn`t mention the umbevievebly unrealistic space physics...

[@KidIcarus97]

Read the little credits things He talks about it there

[@MJuegaES]

"If i angle my weapon to the side i move faster" how is that supposed to work in space?!.

[@worldwar2freak122]

Actually, the weapon system in COD Ghosts isn't an orbital missile platform, it's an orbital kinetic bombardment system. Instead of missiles it uses 6-meter long rods made of solid tungsten that are basically dropped from orbit onto the target, the damage being caused by the sheer kinetic force of a giant rod hitting the earth at Mach 10. Even then, the rods explode with the force of 10-120 tons of TNT. For comparison, the Hiroshima bomb exploded with roughly 20,000 tons of TNT. Of course, its a lot harder to shoot down a 6-meter rod falling at mach 10 than it is to shoot down a missile or bomber.

[@FlintSparkedStudios]

Ok, does Yahtzee's voice sound slightly different in this video than the others to anyone else? It's like RageNineteen impersonating him or something.

[@Shtoops]

I like how he's able to say so mic about the plot without actually spoiling it.

[@TheRealHelvetica]

Call of Duty is running out of countries to set up as America's enemies. For all I know the next COD will be a modernized retelling of WW2. I mean if they can rationalize *all of South America* as the US's enemies I'm sure they can bring back Germany, and Japan.

[@TheBOIpro]

Next: Germany learns how to cure nazi zombies into normal nazi's, and then japan begins making sushi out of burly white men. There we go, that's the next game's plot. Calling it

[@Kamfrenchie]

ho about france?

[@TheRealHelvetica]

Kamfrenchie French terrorists bombing the provisional government controlled by the German Fourth Reich? Fund it!

[@naruhearts1]

CoD in todays japan, im only saying that though because i think it would be a cool setting and multiplayer maps. And obviously a ninja level. Cyber Ninjas vs Mech Samurai

[@naruhearts1]

***** 25 Killstreak - Play as Raiden and have people die from being amazed how many ways he can cut a Watermelon.

[@SadButter]

Poor Yahtzee. I'm not saying he hates EVERY game he comes across, but some games like this one makes me think that from a professional reviewer's standpoint he seems like a masseuse who set up shop in hopes of serving Victoria's Secret catalogue models, but instead got just hairy and smelly old people.

[@Sylux024]

GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD!!

[@Adam-hi2vx]

I got Ghosts a few days ago, and I think your pretty right. I got it to play with my friends, but my internet was down, and I live by the value of campaign before multiplayer. The campaign did lack proper stealth, except for Jungle Ghosts which is the most fun I've had in the game as of yet. Most of the variations from just gunning are fun, because I got really sick of gunning really quickly. This might be because I was playing on the second hardest difficulty, but I always died really quickly unless I sat down, shot a bit, and sat down again. What I like about the halo games is that they let you survey your surroundings and give you a fair chance.... most of the time. In ghosts you have to die repeatedly to learn the enemy locations, and slowly figure out exactly what they're going to do. Then you kill them all, and there was a guy in the next room with a shotgun. If a larger portion of the game was like jungle ghosts, I might have had more fun. I had zero fun in gun fights to be sure. I did like scaling walls and playing as the dog. I'm not done, but I have encountered one thing that was total crap. The underwater level. I believe this was the last level I played, or the second to last. You literally hide behind rocks and then shoot a bit. It's the same thing but in the ocean! As for the multiplayer, I was constantly dying in deathmatch. I actually liked infection a lot, but halo did that better. Those are the only two I've tried. Finally there's extinction. Truth be told, I love extinction. Now I've only played the first level of extinction, but it was amazing! In single player it's fun, and in multiplayer, it's incredible. Nazi Zombies, eat your heart out. So yes, Ghost is pretty bad, but within the see of repetitive and unoriginal game play, there is some stuff worth playing.

[@retrovideogamejunkie]

nah, yahtzee is biased because was not sponsed by doritos.... sarcastic mode off...

[@TheDaneAlex]

that was pretty sarcastic!

[@SturmovikTV]

Alexander P no it wasn't he had a brain and hates this game

[@retrovideogamejunkie]

yep, i hate call of duty the punisher...

[@AdderTude]

Yeah, I could tell as soon as I saw the trailers on TV, I knew it was gonna be exactly the same unrealistic load of crap that Crap Ops II was. And unsurprisingly, I was right.

[@USAFace666]

Lewtable at least Blops is playable

[@OckhamAsylum]

I don't hold a grudge against CoD as much as I do the infuriating idiots who keep throwing fuel on it. CoD is what it is simply because jerkoff frat-boys who are powered by beer kegs filled with concentrated essence of douche and 12 year old brats that seem to have started a religion based around Samuel Jackson in which they honor their god by adopting his foul mouthed speech patterns keep buying this trash. The worst part is that most people probably don't even buy it because it's fun but instead because it's got the name "Call of Duty" attached. It's a fad. They don't actually care about the qualities that would typically make for a good game experience, they just want to sit at the table with the cool kids who tout their ability to spin 360 degrees and shoot someone in the head without aiming through a scope like that somehow makes them the most skilled gamer of all time. You could get Yahtzee himself to explain to them in excruciating detail why CoD is not a good game and they'd still vehemently disagree and infer that you are somehow less of a man because you don't enjoy this fanatically nationalist, testosterone infused, non-challenging, overly linear and scripted tripe

[@Zelousmarineinspace]

*clap* clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP *WHOOO* *WHOOOOOOOOOO* BEST SPEACH EVER BRO MASTER: YOU MADE MY DAY!!

[@OckhamAsylum]

Zelousmarineinspace *Bows* Why thank you, sir.

[@Zelousmarineinspace]

OckhamAsylum No worries. It's people like you that make the world a better place

[@bp56789]

I totally agree. Shit, if I could make a billion dollars by shovelling out the same crap in a different package, I would. They're just giving the unwashed masses what they want.

[@exyle_shadow8842]

Should I feel bad about not caring for the black guy and actually got shocked when the dog got shot?

[@buttermink2153]

Considering the black guy never got characterization, not really.

[@exyle_shadow8842]

No. He comes back the next mission healthy enough to bite another non-american's dick off, but is no longer present in the campaign.

[@Benny_AUT]

I just can't stop myself replaying 4:39 over and over again. Just the fact that a freedom-loving patriot runs around hitting Aslan repeatedly with a sword and Aslan kindly asking him to stop is just great.

[@Johnnythat1dude]

You know what would be an exciting plot? A CoD game where you are attacked by the ghosts of all the cannon fodder you killed.

[@catiseith]

I just ended hearing the Jam audiobook, and it just begs to be made into a movie, a cartoon, an adventure game or something. I couldn't stop hearing it; and barely stopped laughing.

[@Monkeynet01]

JAM....

[@2355Kyle]

Though I agree with JAM you have a my little pony pick and for that I dislike you as an individual if you are a male and over the age of 15.

[@Monkeynet01]

Kyle Hallam Lol ok whatever

[@2355Kyle]

Monkeynetgam3r Just expressing my opinion sir brony.

[@Monkeynet01]

Kyle Hallam Well ok then :)

[@AcceptSolitude]

As a burly white man, this video greatly offended me. What's wrong with fair burly white man representation in video games?

[@ShiranuiXS]

Accept solitude then.

[@seanurbik5158]

Hi It's everywhere, is the problem.

[@menotyu9576]

its offensive that 70% of the people who vounteer for the US military are burly white men. video game critics would prefer that more trans black women were forced to join for representation purposes.

[@Acidpunk101]

In the next call of duty they should give you a drone in the first level, but when you call it in the terrorists shoot it down with a heatseeking missile to a chorus of "holy shit, i guess were on our own lads". now THAT would make the player feel like they were accomplishing something.

[@KillerOrca]

Wasn't there a part in MW2 where that EXACT thing happened? Like, you take control of a Predator and it INSTANTLY gets smashed by a mobile SAM... Of course then you kill said SAM launcher and get ANOTHER drone which you promptly use to swat unfortunate Russians out of the way as you go towards a sub...but its a step.

[@UlithiumDragon]

2:45 I always laugh when he describes german shepard cuz it's so true lol.

[@huffee]

Man this is gonna be good

[@SomeIcelandicDude]

indeed it will

[@catiseith]

5:26 - 6:38 That's quality writing right there! XD

[@NebojsaCinger]

Jam is a great(funny) read, glad I picked it up. Looking forward to your next book!

[@Jaceblue04]

"And secondly; ORBITAL FUCKING MISSILE WEAPON?!" lol

[@here4good]

6:14. That pic XD It's like it symbolizes the struggles of humanity vs the jam.