Can a Boss and an Employee Be Friends? | The Workplace: Inside & Out

www.groupharmonics.com for more about Ed Muzio
www.smartashell.com for more about Glenn Hughes
Glenn’s a career insider in the learning and development function of a large organization. Ed runs a successful consulting firm helping companies like Glenn’s improve culture, increase output, and reduce stress. So what do they have in common? First, both of their careers grew out of an ability to solve complex problems analytically, and implement them collaboratively. Second, they find themselves answering a lot of the same questions. In this installment of the series, Glenn & Ed discuss, debate, and share the advice they most often give… from Inside & Out.
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[@sieracki001]

In most workplaces, no, there are NO friends. People will feign friendship to "get the dirt" on you and run back to their manager with it. Just be very suspicious of anyone who wants you to drop your guard and spill your guts.

[@emuzio]

That's a pretty broad statement. I've certainly been in and around highly-politicized environments where such counsel could be useful. But I've also been in and around many workplaces where friendships are common, and instances of one person using friendship to take advantage of another are the exception - sometimes the very, very rare exception - but definitely not the norm. Andy Grove, founder of Intel, is famous for saying "only the paranoid survive." He was talking about watching the competition, though, not about personal relationships. And even if his advice were true in the personal context, we'd have to ask ourselves: of what value is the life that we survive with. Personally, I'd encourage anyone who lived in such a world to ask two questions: first does it have to be that way here, and second, if it does, do I have to be here?

[@ShowMeMo]

My boss has become friends with some of her direct reports. she'll tell them negative stuff about some of the other team members and let's them get away with doing less work.

[@user-nf6bw9zm8d]

That sounds like affair things

[@tommyRfrancis]

Helpful thank you.

[@AB-rh5yq]

This is tough for me personally. I have employees who are trying to get me to open up more, but I am still trying to figure out what those boundaries are. There is that obvious power dynamic and not wanting to inadvertently exploit that at all. One thing I try to ensure I do is … if I do something for anyone, I ensure I do it for everyone. E.g. taking all of the staff out to dinner, OR if I give a little chocolate/gift to one person I give it to everyone. Etc. I guess I’m in a good position with staff currently wanting to engage/ “get me to open up to them” … however I am constantly thinking how much I can open up and wanting to avoid the other side of this where I inadvertently cross some sort of line and/or get to a point where staff are uncomfortable. But I do appreciate the advise and making clear what the boundaries are with the staff … I just wish I knew what the boundaries were. Why is this so hard … ugghh😑.

[@twostepz4982]

My spa job seems likely a no. But, if you got a well-boundary and communicative group then it’s alright to make friends with your boss. It’s rare to have that boundary set, but it’s doable.

[@matttanksley923]

Have a friend that is an employee and I am just starting out as a new kitchen manager

[@Rongowhakaata]

Hi guys. My experience is kind of related. My partner and I were charged with operating an outlet for the company we work for in one of their international sites. We had worked together previously which wasn't the best. We would fight and argue and we didn't really know our boundaries. It became highly stressful for the both of us and as a result the business wasn't operating at its optimum I would say - which includes all of what you mentioned in the video e.g. the perception from others, we had to deal with - and also our personal relationship became sour in areas which often resulted in resentment. This time round we had a discussion with each other and shared our thoughts openly and aired out the concerns we had and looked at our previous challenges and took ownership of them i.e. admitting to our failures. Ultimately, we agreed that if we were unable to work together this time round we wouldn't be able to pursue our long/term goal, which is to own our own business. So, we thought of this as a test for ourselves to overcome the challenges together and understand that if we didn't agree with each other on things or if we didn't like what one of us have done or do we would both know that it's only business and nothing personal that related to our personal relationship. Coming back to the 'perception' thing you talked about in the video. That is probably the most important thing to overcome. My partner and I knew that this would be the biggest problem we would incur from our staff that we managed, but, we worked hard on gaining their trust on this and showed them that we were able to separate our working relationship and personal relationship. By doing this and being consistent on it, if situations of concern from staff would arise and it was related to that fact that we were 'together', they wouldn't have a leg to stand on and that it was their own personal problem with the idea that we were partners managing an outlet. It was hard work but we got there and our bosses actually commented on how well we were able to work together which is and was really awesome. I think there is this stigma with couples who are in a relationship - which includes husband & wife, husband & husband etc. - by others who don't think it's professional and ethical. I agree, but only if the relationship is not mature enough to conduct themselves well enough in the work environment. In saying that though, I also think there is huge benefit when couples can coherently work together in a professional manner who both have the ability to distinguish their personal and work relationships and are both focused on the common goal(s) of their personal lives and the company's. Thanks again gents for a great video! Keep up the great work 👍

[@wakefieldtacticalfurniture5155]

It can happen and work fine but it usually ends badly. Most people (both manager and subordinate) can't separate work/boss from friend/ personal friendship. If the manager has to pull rank or the employee disagrees with a management decision it can result in negative outcomes

[@givensvivre3921]

Yes they can be friends. It all depends on the manager he or she has to be smart enough how to separate the friendship on the work floor. Not everybody can handle that successfully.

[@lydiatrujillo7303]

I feel like there is favoritism in the workplace there is a girl who gets away with a lot it’s just not right

[@brightestfuture]

I fired all my friends that worked for me because they cost me money. Needless to say I have a few friends and alot more money.

[@balee111]

Is any of your sentences not pre scripted? Sooo not hornest, sooo not hornest.