Can He Love Me If Our Attachment Style Is Off?

[@TheAttractionTriggers]

*Understanding attachment styles and how they affect relationships is crucial. Love can still exist even if attachment styles differ, but it requires empathy, understanding, and open communication from both parties.*

[@coach_amy]

Jonathon is totally spot-on with his bullet point requirements. - Co-creation and collaboration are one of the main points of being in a relationship for me. - The most-basic, must-have character traits for me for me are self-awareness and desire and humility to learn and grow. With this criteria, no one has to be perfect.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you...

[@karinesavard2016]

Co-creation! Totally agree!! 👍💯❤🙏

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

We should not ask what are we doing. If it’s not what you want or need walk away. You can’t change another person. Know what you want and stick to it. All that wishy-washy stuff is why guys use you

[@coach_amy]

Exactly. I got into toxic relationships because I didn't trust my intuition pertaining to all the red flags I saw; I held false hope (and misdirected compassion for people with struggles) that the person would naturally want to be better and do better because they had me; and I had a complex about having high expectations in receiving what I have to give (you know, honesty, transparency, loyalty, protection, etc.) Those are the reasons I didn't walk away at the first red flag. Since, I've changed that. I trust myself and my relationship needs. Walking away as soon as I sense it's not going to work is self-care and respect.

[@JonathonAslay]

Uncertainty is common...

[@jenniferl1908]

I agree. People need to say what they are looking for and if you aren't in alignment with someone, say goodbye. Move on.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree! Skeedadle. Exit stage left!

[@tamitatangoto5134]

I refuse to find myself in a hook-up situation. I don't believe in that type of relationship. BECAUSE they don't last and even if they do last they are not treasured and respected like a relationship where sex is the last thing you do not the first.😮

[@coach_amy]

Yes! Back in the day, I thought that physical intimacy was almost a duty, in order for the person to be interested enough to put effort into a relationship. I had it backwards. "Let's see what kind of friendship we can create before you get all distracted with the physical." I had one (potential-relationship) person in my whole life thus far who just wanted to be with me, to know me and to be close, even if I didn't want a relationship with him. That was so appealing, I decided to date him. I was age 22 and screwed it up. Decades later, I still think about him as a frame-of-reference for what's possible.

[@LisaGemini]

Amen! If you're not respected, it's not LOVE. Period!

[@JonathonAslay]

👍🏼

[@trinitywellnessinc]

So true! Long needed video. You have brought up some things for me to consider. Thank you for all your work! 🙏🏼

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Earthangelfish111]

Jon you we so informative Ty so much for sharing your wisdom

[@JonathonAslay]

My pleasure...

[@o2phone737]

All you say is so true it will be a lucky woman that's gets you TRUE LOVE IS SO HARD TO FIND

[@JonathonAslay]

awe... thank you, much appreciated.

[@shinons]

❤😢😊❤ I cannot describe how much this video helps me

[@esybe999]

Thank you Jonathon! 🙏Hugs🤗

[@lanapalij4014]

So much great information! I had to write a few things down…

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@KatbeautyG]

Love this subject. Needed it! Thanks Jonathan! Hope ur during well! Hugssss!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@melissamartin1235]

Your delivery is currently knowledge based. Very helpful content😊 subconsciously we all have this knowledge but we are closed off from reality. Thank you for your wisdom ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

So nice of you

[@gailthompson9005]

Everything you are saying is true. I needed to hear this because the man lives 3,000 miles away. This will never work because I want more than daily text messages. It’s not enough.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@willco5431]

Yes on loving the wrong woman. Too many times. It’s has help me identify why as well.

[@LisaGemini]

Wonderful and wise video, Jonathon. Love your iceberg graphic! When I did the attachment quiz, I came up with secure but I probably can't report about myself and I'm probably borderline anxious. I've run into a lot of avoidant guys. I try hard to keep my head in the game and NOT get attached when I haven't even met a man. Seems like it's difficult to even get a first date and I don't get why men are leery of asking me out often. I've never been one for hook-ups! So I am alone.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!

[@robinemery]

Another great talk Jonathan BIG BIG HUGGS🫂♥️

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank

[@robinemery]

You are most welcome big brother🤗

[@jazzmatazzle1042]

THANK YOU FOR THIS❤

[@WandaYarbrough-mx3xf]

Just been through this I think the Guy is married or engaged or living with someone. I let him go. Not for me

[@JonathonAslay]

Gotcha

[@jenniferl1908]

I had this happen on a dating app - texted with a guy and turned out he was still married with kids. i called him out on his bad behavior and actually reported his profile to save other women from going out with him.

[@apeaceintuithm5578]

Heck to the no

[@tamitatangoto5134]

I still stand by the old-fashioned idea that if a man really LOVES YOU he will marry you for Love and the cookies!!!😅

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

Not for the cookies. The cookies dry up get stale.😂 a man will marry you because he loves you and he cherish you from his heart to yours

[@JonathonAslay]

The problem is... is it love or unhealthy attachment?

[@coach_amy]

What are the "cookies" in this saying?

[@margaretcampbell2681]

@@coach_amysex

[@liabw05]

But what if you’re not compatible sexually?! Too much risk imo

[@coach_amy]

Jonathon - Have you talked about in any of your videos why your last relationship didn't work? I'm very interested in knowing, would find it helpful.

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes, it's called Letting Go

[@LemansSunset350]

@@JonathonAslay I’m sorry it didn’t work out Jonathon. It seemed like you found true love and I was genuinely happy for you. I hope you and her find true love. ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

​@LemansSunset350 much appreciated 🙏

[@vivianjones5904]

THANKS SO MUCH!!!❤😂

[@JonathonAslay]

Any time

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Naked Divorce/Naked Recovery nakeddivorce.com/?ref=jonathonaslay Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows

[@apeaceintuithm5578]

Me. My marriage ended last Dec. i still love and miss my husband, but he cheated on me. Multiple times. But he talked about the future. We had chemistry and similar beliefs. The distance in conversation stings every time. I have to refocus after each encounter because its just not good for my heart or mind. My James is gone. However, its odd that he still initiates hugs when he sees me now. I feel an energy that makes me nervous around him.

[@apeaceintuithm5578]

Thank you for responding. I still love and miss him everyday. But I initiated the divorce. He had done it before. I could not stand for it. He had alcohol and other mental health issues. My heart breaks every day because I miss “ us” when things were close and intimate and good. I thought we were his life and that was never a worry among all of my other worries.

[@joydarling9187]

I needed to hear this. I’ve watched your videos. I’m in a relationship crisis. I’ll try to call you I need professional guidance.

[@charlenelavalle2373]

I have anxious/avoidant attachment and so is my boyfriend and I am in therapy. He has shown me all the signs of moving it forward but he still talks in the I form and it bothers me. He is committed and yet I feel at the same time his Choice of friends are not of high value so it creates insecurity.

[@HANNAHLUMERIA-it5rw]

This complicates the situation. Real simple, there aren't timeliness or work deadlines this is two individuals with different experiences, you can't generalize chemistry or those with a RARE UNIQUE connection . love is not textbook

[@karinesavard2016]

Question: does the Bible have the answers to a healthy relationship or did we improve upon it according to you?

[@JonathonAslay]

?

[@lilliankillian7366]

Yes it has happend now he broke it up after 4and half years what can I do?

[@JonathonAslay]

Love yourself 🙏

[@lilliankillian7366]

@JonathonAslay should still keep in touch by calling or let it go and move on. So so hard

[@MCC4RTHY1]

How can you make a marriage work when your spouse doesn’t know how to fight fare, rejects the idea of self help and healing and refuses the idea of attachment styles and trying to understand not just your spouse’s attachment style but your own so you can secure yourself in your own attachment style. I got the conscious uncoupling book trying all avenues on helping this marriage but he just seems to not want to move on or get better in this relationship. What does one do in this situation?

[@JonathonAslay]

Pray 🙏

[@virginiaeller8164]

What if you have talked on a dating app for 8 months. He knew from the beginning that I wanted a serious physical relationship. But he still says we will meet soon but soon still hasn't came to be. I really do care for him and want a serious relationship with him. He says the same thing about me. I've tried to break it off with him but I just can't seem to do it. Do you think I should move on?

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

If you really want a serious relationship, take your power back. The truth is, you are getting something from this relationship. This man is stringing you along. Sis you deserve better than him

[@tamitatangoto5134]

I don't necessarily agree with livelearnandgrows comment...😊 And I'll tell you why😂 I am in somewhat of a similar relationship as you are. Except I have been in this relationship for 6 years in October. 😮 The difference between you and I is that I don't want a physical relationship with him until we are married.😊 He does want to marry me and will when we meet in person, which should be happening by the end of this year. His situation is he's in another country. We talk on the phone everyday, we video chat on occasion. In our situation the bottom line is money 💸 there isn't the money to make our dream come true of being together. Not yet anyway😢 So it is okay that you haven't met him yet. However; if he is in the same country as you, there should be a meeting date and time that he can keep.😅 Do not go to meet him alone😮 take one or two strong cowboys 🤠🤠 with you as protection. And whatever you do don't start the relationship out with physical contact, especially sexual. Let that be the grand prize, the finale.🎉 🎊 Where I do agree, with livelearnandgrow, is don't waste your time, time is precious, if you see red flags 🚩🚩 which you do, make a necessary change. It takes 29 days to make a habit, it takes 29 days obviously to break a habit. Don't speak to him for 29 days then your habit of not speaking to him will stick!! I apologize if my advice is not what you want to hear. I was just thinking maybe there was something in there that could help you.😊 Write me back if you would like. I would be glad to chat with you about additional solutions.🎉❤ Sincerely TAMI 🙋🏼‍♀️

[@Joyfull325]

Ask yourself why you want to be serious with someone you've never met. You deserve everything you want and if you're not getting it, keep your options open. There is someone out there looking for the same thing you are. Good luck.

[@liabw05]

If he was truly interested he’d waste no time to see you. 8 months is way too long. You deserve more!

[@coach_amy]

I'd assume he's married and/or a maladaptive daydreamer/fantasize-r and you're giving him stimuli to add to his virtual reality life in his head (I was in a 5-year partnership with someone who seemed to do the latter almost continuously, while physically with me much of the time). Are you doing a form of limerence? Does it feel safer to have a virtual relationship for you, is that why you're doing this? Do you believe you can have the type of relationship you desire?

[@shinons]

❤😢😊❤

[@robinemery]

Quite frankly, I submit to no man😏

[@JonathonAslay]

Good for you 👍🏼

[@JessicaPolman-i2p]

I think in some ways women have to submit to a man (we change our last name if we marry them), but it depends how much you are willing to put up with. In certain religions, a man is still the head of the household and that won't change. Or else you wind up alone.

[@jessdiaz3782]

Is this KZbin page of yours just for women because you always talk about him and there’s never nothing about her. I’m looking for some coaching just want to know?

[@willco5431]

I think he is geared towards helping women. However, most of what he is talking about is helpful for both.

[@JonathonAslay]

Men and women but directed to women

[@JessicaPolman-i2p]

What is a guy wants to get back to you years later (he was married now divorced) and said he was always in love with you and never got over you? This is from 20 plus years ago?

[@JonathonAslay]

How you feel matters most...