Can I Take Time Off From Work? | Kati Morton

This video series is an educational project brought to you by Google.
Today we’re going to talk about burnout and work. How are they connected? What if burnout is happening due to outside of work factors? What if it is due to work? How do you bring it up at work? What’s the best way to go about that, and not lose your job? Let’s figure this out, because I know workplace stress is the most common cause of burnout, and we have to know what to do if it happens to us. Because I don’t work in a large corporation or have resources to take leave I have reached out to my friend Malik Ducard to learn from him. xox
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@_just_TK]

I was in a bad place a few months ago & taking time off to go to an IOP (intensive outpatient program) was the BEST thing I could have done!!!I’m really lucky that I had an understanding supervisor. I was brutally honest w/ her & my coworkers which made a HUGE difference & made coming back to work much easier. I said “I’ve been going thru a rough time lately & I’m tired of feeling shitty. I need to take some time off to get my shit together & I really appreciate u guys covering for me when I’m gone”

[@_just_TK]

When I got back to work, ppl were kinda awkward at 1st & kinda walked around the subject so I’d bring it up & say “Thanks again for covering for me, I really appreciate it. I feel so lucky to be able to take time off to just focus on bettering myself without any distractions. It was a great experience and I got a ton out of it. I honestly think most everyone could benefit from this kind of thing. And I definitely couldn’t have done it without such a great team keeping things together while I was gone. You’re the best!” After that, people started to open up to me about their own struggles with mental illness & really broke a stigma around the office.

[@_just_TK]

Btw, opening up to my coworkers like this was the SCARIEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER DONE!!!

[@donnag4150]

Great person you are.

[@whenufirstrealized]

@@_just_TK I've been thinking about this a lot. I've been working in a very hostile workplace where I've been trapped on the losing end of a power struggle. Relationships have been damaged forever and the damages and it's been personal and offensive at many levels. It's been textbook hostile workplace and workplace mobbing with me as a target. After major weight gain, high blood pressure and terrible headaches.. I took a few days off and started seeing a mental health professional who suggested i take a month off to get a way and go fishing or golfing... i declined and powered through . A few weeks ago i experienced what i thought was a heart attack, but it turned out to be a panic attack. I've told nobody at work but my boss since i don't trust them. After reporting disrespect issues to HR i called an employment attorney who said i was not in a protected class or activity and was not interested until a clear violation was committed.. not even sure what that means. I have over 90 sick days, but have heard my employer will not protect my job for more than 2 weeks. I have Long term disability but it does not kick in until 6 months and you can only file while on the plan and employed. Also you need a strong medical history for mental health claims and those claims only have a 24 month life. I really do not understand the process. Mostly I fear that if take real time off I worry about getting my head right for safe re-entry. I'm really not sure what options i have beyond finding new work which is not really an option unless i want to take a 60% pay cut and a terrible commute and schedule. My Therapist told me not to just quit, that this is what I have medical benefits for.

[@Krogangirl54]

I feel like most people have to lie about being physically sick so that they are able to take a mental day. I've had to do it plenty of times. I feel like it makes the situation worse because of negative feelings towards lying.

[@92RKID]

It is wrong that people find that they have to lie about being physically sick when they need mental health days due to burnout and no one seeming to care about the fact that their performance is seriously affected by it.

[@curiousone6435]

Yes. Especially in America, the stigma is heavy. We need better legislation. We live in a country where a lot of people get no sick days or time off (or that time off is due to being fired or laid off since real vacation is discouraged, even if you have the benefits).

[@welshkid246]

Victoria Sandefer I’ve done this too. But the company I work for only allows 3 sick days in 12 weeks 😞

[@stephaniec7216]

Victoria Sandefer yeah seriously ☹️

[@TellitTay]

Victoria Sandefer Agreed there should be more “wellness days”. I definitely feel they’re equivalent to sick days!!

[@Hinamorichan]

Sorry but not all managers are this understanding and not many companies actually care about their worker's health...

[@landbeforehoney5308]

Dbrd I kinda thought the same. What about those who don’t have degrees? Working minimum wage jobs? They really don’t care. Not all companies even have HR. My last position had ONE person in the office, and an owner. That’s it. And they were mother/son. And didn’t give any craps about anyone else and didn’t offer benefits of any sort. I’d rather see a video on what jobs DO offer this. And how normal and low income people can accomplish saving our mental health and balancing work/life.

[@acmulhern]

Agreed. Even for obvious physical illness bosses can be real dicks. My work colleague, who was heavily pregnant had a very bad stomach flu and couldn't come to work, especially because her commute was over an hour each way. The boss came to me to bitch about it saying that she should have worn a diaper if she had diarrhoea. As inappropriate as it was, it also showed the lack of empathy that some bosses have and how their business is more important to them than the wellbeing of their employees.

[@Saintfan24]

This is absolutely true in retail jobs at big stores.

[@artemismeow]

They're talking about white collar work. :( I coundnt do this at retail I couldnt do this at call centers I couldnt do this as an engineer But upper management however ....

[@gerismakeuplaughs152]

@@landbeforehoney5308 ditto

[@eliciagarcia3601]

In our culture taking a break is viewed as laziness. I instinctively knew this was wrong since elementary school when they stopped calling play day “play day” and started calling it “fitness day” because they felt it was wrong to set aside a day to play. I remember at six years old my gutt feeling was telling me that something is wrong in how anything that isn’t work is viewed as laziness and that we value work rather than valuing people and working FOR people. Their should be absolutely nothing wrong with a play day.

[@mattbaron14]

Funny how a 6 year old can tell what's wrong with American culture yet here we are. I try not to be too cynical but as I work on myself I keep seeing more and more how the compounding effect of everyone's trauma impacts the society I have to wake up to every day.

[@vian9301]

3 years ago I was working 3 jobs and the pay did not make me feel valuable but it helped me to survive. I came home defeated after each day. I was too dependent on the money to feel that I can bring up this conversation with 3 different managers. My anxiety and depression just lead me into a downward spiral where I was so tired of being tired. I was hospitalized after I realized how bad it was ... was in hospital for a month, I was broken and my brain was mush. I just rested, took my meds and collected my thoughts and was so lucky to have found 1great job with 1 great boss who cares about mental health and I just really appreciate the awareness that this person has of mental health.

[@vian9301]

@R RQ I was on suicide watch.

[@Karen-vl7vf]

I wish most managers were this understanding. I got pretty sick a couple months back and was told to keep it "hush hush" because they would get in trouble for having me be at work. Hopefully workplaces as a whole improve in the future

[@chriskidner7287]

I take time off work when I don't feel like going the problem is they are sympathetic if you have flu but tell them you feel burnt out depressed and fed up with dealing with customers they don't understand mental health

[@jamesketchum5047]

i understand that all too well, they just tell you to tough it out or take a pill and keep going, such crap, i had a coworker quit because the place i work for threatened to fire her if she missed one more day, she was out most of the week with severe depression and almost killed herself over it. thats how companies lose loyal employees, they push them past their breaking point and wonder why they look elsewhere for employment when they dont listen.

[@physicstutorials28]

This man needs to do ASMR videos, what a soothing voice!

[@corybengston1783]

Sorry, but most companies in the real world aren't very accepting to this

[@Captain.Basketcase]

If a company doesn't care about employee mental and physical health they are not worth being in existence

[@ashleyrp2007]

Kristy Rosenthal you are absolutely right but 99% of us need them to pay our bills so we are forced to stick around

[@Captain.Basketcase]

@@ashleyrp2007 doesn't mean people shouldn't take a stand against the man per se. Otherwise they can just sit and complain about how bad the place they work for is, until someone stands up and says, you know what? I'm not gonna put up with this anymore. Just because we need jobs to make money to pay bills and buy food, doesn't mean anyone has the right to push us when we are down, even employers. I'm a person who is extremely sick, mentally and physically, and I won't let my employer walk all over me, they tried and failed and I'm still there.

[@lovelymalrin8455]

@@Captain.Basketcase good for you but again that doesn't work for everyone. I am also a person who is extremely sick and when I did the same I was made redundant, with no severance pay, two days into doctor prescribed sick leave. The company obviously gave other reasons stating my position wasn't needed anymore and quite frankly by that point I wasn't in any fit state to even consider contesting it. This is also not the only incident of this happening in my old work place. Its great you feel you are able to do those things but don't expect everyone to be able to do the same.

[@csurams84]

So what. Don't be controlled like a sheep 🐑

[@sarawilliams5990]

This guy talking about the level of stress he feels requires time off is literally the baseline level of stress I have just as a part of my daily life.

[@perryh.5306]

If I was your son...I would relieve some of your stress... If I was your son...only thing I'd be doing is being at home doing what you tell me to do with no back talk or arguing. I'd do all of the cleaning so you don't have to worry with it! I'd help out in all other areas. My only happiness would be to obey you and make you happy!

[@elissa3188]

The fact is - if you run out of PTO/sick leave ... then in most places even if you can take off without loosing your job- you are taking unpaid leave for those days- and therefore, might not be able to afford that. For the last 3 years- my job gives you 35 hours of PTO (which includes sick days) - which covers 5 work days. If you go over 35 hours - then you can take leave but it is unpaid. So it doesn't matter how understanding the supervisors and HR are, if you can't afford to not work, you can't afford to take off more mental health days.

[@elissa3188]

I like Kati's videos typically, but I'm sorry Kati I did put a thumb down to this video- only because I find it very unrealistic for most of our realities.

[@GoodThingsIndeed]

I feel like instead of talking to workers who mostly know they need to take time off work ..we need conversations with the higher ups who are constantly questioning the employees and denying time off.

[@itsmesteve1081]

Most of the time the your higher ups are just working for their own higher ups and deny you access to rest so they could kick back and relax haha

[@GoodThingsIndeed]

@@itsmesteve1081 That's a blanket statement and not always true, sadly.

[@TinaMey]

Self care is sooo sooo important, many people aren't even aware of how crucial it is. It's contantly working on yourself, which can be "exhausting" but knowing how good it'll make you feel is worth it.

[@rebeccajones9757]

I'm a supervisor and I try to be as cool as this guy, but I don't ask why people need a day off. Sometimes I like reassurance about when they plan to come back. Some of the explanations people give for needing a day off are kinda heavy and I don't necessarily want to know all the details.

[@parisindy]

I am totally in burnout mode and i have no idea how to get out of it so I appreciate these videos

[@tysonturtle]

I got burnout at work at Christmas time when we were super busy and I was scared to let my manager know and ask for time off, but I did and he was super understanding and it was very helpful.

[@AdrianHiggins83]

And this is how I lost my job ... never seen it coming... sad 😞

[@curiousone6435]

Happened to me, too, Adrian. Hang in there. It isn't fair (or moral).

[@lovelymalrin8455]

@@curiousone6435 me too, some companies just don't care.

[@elliemathews6884]

Me too. I've lost several jobs because of it.

[@Friedchickenwaffles]

Me too, was hospitalized for burnout and was promptly fired on my return

[@vt4316]

@@Friedchickenwaffles dicjheads. Steal their clients. Burn them!

[@TehWulf]

stark contrast to what I heard at work today, when some co-workers said, they gonna take vacation to go to work, so they are save from meetings etc. and get work done without distractions...

[@anabelleb9919]

I worked at target for over a year and had to take a week off because I was so manic it wasn’t good luckily my boss at the time completely understood manly bc he had a psychology degree so he completely understood my mania and my other issues I do not work at target anymore but I will always appreciate him

[@Ambey130]

I was working two main jobs and running small jobs on the side to the point where I just couldn’t cope any more. It got to the stage where I broke down and my co workers actually encouraged me to quit one of the jobs and keep the small jobs to a minimum and just work my main job to give myself time to heal. It’s only a few days later and I already feel the difference! I’m a much happier and nicer person to be around as I’ve had slightly later starts in the morning and less work stress! I encourage anyone that may be in the same position to take action before you reach your breaking point like I did!🙈😊

[@Saintfan24]

I regret ever telling people about my mental issues. It just makes things worse. I made the mistake of telling my employer’s HR about my issues and they didn’t even respect my confidentiality.

[@_just_TK]

Minh Nguyen I’m not sure if you live in the United States but, if so, sharing your health information with anyone w/o ur written consent is a HUGE breach of HIPAA & can get HR in a lot of trouble!!!!!!

[@TheRoarWithin]

Know your rights.

[@AnnavBF]

I desperately need a break and would probably get one if I asked. Except there is literally nobody who would pick any of my work up. So it would sit there and fester, waiting for my return having grown to an even more unmanageable pile that would, naturally, all have to get done - because everything is important and urgent. So yeah, I don't know what to do. I keep waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, but it never comes.

[@_just_TK]

Shawnna von Blixen I used to be TERRIBLE about this but taking time off & doing an IOP really helped me be able to not take on personal responsibility. And I know this sounds terrible but maybe u NEED to take time off because it will show your work how valuable you are and how overworked you are. My motto at work since the IOP is “when everything is marked ASAP, nothing is”

[@brookerickert4046]

Choosing to take time off of work (and go to the hospital) was a hard decision to make. If I could give anyone a tip, it would be talk to HR FIRST, and get all of the info before you take off, if possible. My HR department wasn't very clear about things, and I lost all of my sick days because of miscommunication.

[@mascara1777]

HR is NOT on your side! They are there to protect the company's interests. They do NOT care about you.

[@brookerickert4046]

@@mascara1777 I think it depends on the person in HR! Most, from what I've experienced, genuinely seem to care about employees.

[@alyssahadley213]

@@mascara1777 I have the best hr who does care about me

[@lovelymalrin8455]

Not every company has a HR department.

[@brookerickert4046]

@@lovelymalrin8455 that's true, I should have been more clear...management, HR, a supervisor, or whoever deals with that kind of stuff. I apologize!!

[@theresaleszczynski6273]

Hi Kati. Once again you give a take on Burnout from another angle. I love this series. Thank you for your hard work. Happy Monday!

[@vickyzeng4834]

Thank you for your video Kati! This video is very helpful and insightful!! I told my manager when I first started seeing my therapist(when I was dealing with depression & anxiety) and the mental health struggles I had, luckily she was very supportive and told me if I ever need time off it's totally fine. I'm very grateful for that. Apart from therapy, doing music on my KZbin channel also really helps with improving my mental health. ❤

[@thereuponatime]

This is a great start to the conversation. I feel like if corporations better understood the correlation of wellbeing to productivity, maybe then it might impact them where it counts. People are people, not machines, and managing them is a responsibility and an honor. There is so much room for improvement in this category. Much of it starts with us speaking up for ourselves where it is safe to and I hope the bravery pays off for those that follow us.

[@brian5o]

Malik should have a radio show, man he has a great voice for it. He seems like a super-cool guy, too.

[@yin7260]

I feel guilty and horrible when I take time to rest. I feel like I'm wasting time that I don't have and it doesn't feel so relaxing with the guilt always there💔

[@twiztidmomma22]

I feel the same way. There arent enough hours in the day for all the things that need to be done and always eyes watching you

[@timcook4552]

same. I feel like not going to work later because I feel anxious but I feel guilty

[@anonymoushuman8443]

Same. It makes me feel lazy and that I need to do some chores or something productive 😪

[@dedasab]

When you have so many vacation days, yet you can't take any because you are afraid you won't get promoted if you kept absenting yourself from work 😢. I asked my boss why the woman who resigned ( she couldn't handle my narcissist boss, apparently) from the job before I joined wasn't promoted, he said because she kept having too many vacations, so it has developed some fear in me that all the hard work that I do will go down the sewers If I took so many vacations 😢. Now, I take only one day off at a time, which is not enough when you are burned out. Once, I told him that I'm psychologically tired because of work and I need a couple of days off, he absented himself the next day and forced me to go to work instead of him, told you, he is so selfish and everything revolves around him, but I need the job so I try different things to distract me from work outside the working hours. Thank you Kati for this series, it really is helpful.

[@gerismakeuplaughs152]

Everyone has a supervisor dear! Advocate for yourself! It sounds scary but you need to take care of you or you won't be able to take care of anything else. He will not change or care later either so stick up for you. You will also be standing up for others that get hired and people that work their now. He sounds like a narcissistic person and either way...even if you continue to do everything he wants your will continue to be working and get seriously sick.

[@dedasab]

@@gerismakeuplaughs152 You are definitely right, no one can help me but myself. I started studying and understanding him and I try my best to figure out how to use his narcissism to benefit myself. It's baby steps, but I'm in a better place now than I used to be a year ago. Hopefully, I'll grow to know how to defend myself one day. Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it.

[@Nanak1389]

@@dedasabDid it get better? I am in a similar situation and I am really lost. I would love to hear more about what you did

[@dedasab]

@@Nanak1389 Oh, are you ready for the tea, cause many things happened in 4 years. Well, I got promoted, but in a different department, in fact my position is higher now than the position of my former boss! 😆 But a narcissist is a narcissist, he is still a pain in the neck. I don't deal with him daily, but when I do it's stressful. Funny that your comment came today, he resigned 3 months ago and the higher management are trying to convince him to stay. Well, who is doing his work? His poor coworker who came after me, and who else? Me😑😮‍💨 because I have the experience to deal with that kind of job. Now, while he appears on and off on phone to pretend he is doing his job as a favour for our management that refuses to accept his resignation. I swear he never fails to amaze me😅 these people are a weird breed. Anyways , these days I'm doing my job, my new boss's job and some of my old boss's job, great for me 😑😮‍💨 l guess I need to learn to say no 😭.

[@cellamar2398]

Thank you for spreading awareness about burn out Katie 💕✨

[@maddiel.6861]

Your videos are always helpful!! This concept is so important. Thank you for addressing it!

[@lozza0810]

Thank you Kati! I definitely have FOMO when it comes to taking time off for anything! It's also spurred my need to say yes to things, because if I don't, I might miss out on something fun, or if it's work related, I believe they will hold it against me. But I'm about to finish my degree and start my career soon, so this is something I need to remember. xx

[@AlphaGator9]

I REALLY struggle with my current manager. Over time i have gotten better taking control of my self management... even allowing myself to go through the anxiety of dealing with my manager over these things. Thank you Kati! As always, your videos are very helpful.

[@Dreamer5211]

Hi Kati , thanks , I wish they would have had managers like your guest 40 years ago. I remember a time when even talking about a mental illness was grounds for dismissal . Since being verbal with my own struggles , I have found the thought process of the public is slowly changing , however that process could move a little faster , thanks for the push !! Take care , Gary  XOXO

[@storytellerhut3488]

I wish I had known what I know now about rights I have as an employee in my state that I do now. I worked in a field taking care of others and this job I had - I loved- but the company took every ounce of me, paid me poorly, and would not allow time off when I really needed it. I ended up being burned out and left that job, but then beginning a new job was also really stressful. My body shut down, mentally I shut down. I am still trying to recover a year and a half later physically. I may not be able to work again because of physical disabilities I have acquired, not all of it is from stress but maybe could have been avoided had I done something sooner before burning out so badly.

[@KarmasAbutch]

Olivia Clink Not necessarily... just because you have rights doesn’t mean they’ll be honoured or given to you. I have a Union job and my employer still repeatedly committed Human Rights code violations, 3 years of harrassment and multiple breaches of collective agreement... as well as illegally attempting to access my medical records.... all they care about is their own liability and you “making them look bad” by burning out. It was the public service that did that to me... my 2 week stress leave is now PTSD.

[@MsGenXodus]

Most employees need to get lawyers involved to protect their leave rights in the US. Sure, the company will SAY they offer PTO, but every possible date is blacked out, and/or you have to plan your leave almost before you accept the position to get the PTO. FMLA is pretty good protection for employees. Get your doctor involved in your stress/ burnout leave. Thank goodness I studied HR in college, otherwise I wouldn't have known I had those rights to take leave.

[@bellaandsevy5338]

Loving your series Kati!

[@kaitoshion6982]

Miss Morton, whenever you make these videos, you give me a kind, understanding psychology class off-campus. For that, I thank you.

[@abe2935]

The place I work for is all about letting people get time off. Everyone is so accommodating about it, and no one feels shy to mark it up on the calendar. I feel very lucky.

[@julesvibe]

Very timely video for me. I’m taking my first short leave in 30 years of teaching and coaching. It’s necessary but pretty scary. Usually teachers hold on until the natural school breaks. I could not. And I don’t know what the future holds and how my Principal will view me. Not everyone is up to speed on mental health. FOMO is real and I’m working towards JOMO (joy of missing out).

[@abby7070]

Love you Kati! Thanks as always from Winnipeg Canada

[@Chr0meHeart]

i feel very lucky that all my managers understand that we are human. i was encouraged to take time off for myself because theyd rather i be happy and healthy rather than burnt out and negative at work every day. they allow me to vent. and ive even cried to them about how work makes me feel and they are nothing but supportive. my jobs never been on the line for it. i want a new job because this one is just too much for me but i dont wanna lose thst support. its rare.

[@treatmenice1564]

you are very fortunate!

[@TheB1nary]

I've just hit "pause" after a really stressful year (change of line management, stressful office politics, and increasing workload). Emailed my manager and told her I might need a week or two out - and she was great! Thank you for this really helpful video. Subscribed!!

[@reframingwiththerhythm]

Thank you for creating a video on this concept and sharing this discussion with your friend, Malik! I am currently unemployed, so being able to think and validate how my well-being has affected me and is affecting me in regards to my career, and hearing about EAP's, truly helped me and gave me a boost today. Sending much love and light your way always!

[@clysen8234]

From time to time I have this crisis at job. It starts with low performance and eventually builds up to suicide ideation. Then I know I need a brake(I work 60h a week). My manager knows this. I take a day off and everything is fine afterwards. I feel replenished. This happens roughly once a month.

[@priscillabrowne2176]

Loved this video very well done. This brings up for me a topic I have been struggling with and speak about a LOT during therapy. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and now I have a new "normal". It is hard to adjust to a new way of doing things since there is a lot of guilt about working part time instead of full time. Figuring out what kind of work would be good for this new way of living, etc. At the end of the video, you mention "What you feel comfortable sharing" with a supervisor or hr. For me I am most comfortable sharing about my illness, but sometimes I wonder if it is most professional and best for my own advancement. I am still hoping you will delve into more videos about managing mental health and chronic illness. I know you have done some, but would love even more

[@donnag4150]

Great upload. Thankyou

[@momomils2982]

Thanks, Kati!

[@kys9388]

I love this channel kati.im so glad i found it. Great work. Very informational.

[@_just_TK]

omg im 32 Welcome to the Community!

[@xXSlaughter3dXx]

I wish I had this a month ago. I had been working at a pet resort for a couple weeks, and confided in a coworker that i had talked to daily for about two weeks, saying that I was worried about bills and my hours not paying enough and just being worried. Next thing I know I’m called into the office, am told that “they base hours on quality of work” as if I had done something wrong. Then when I mentioned to my boss that I was sorry and just found it difficult to be positive as I have severe depression, and the rude woman says “we are all sad. But we leave it at the door,” proceeds to give me the number to suicide hotline and basically tell me to nut up and shut up. Absolutely HATE that woman and that place.

[@92RKID]

xXSlaughter3dXx, I am sorry that you have to deal with someone who doesn't care about others' mental health. They need to take several courses on mental health.

[@curiousone6435]

This is sadly common. Especially in America, your life will be destroyed as a result.

[@mattbaron14]

@@curiousone6435 I'm wondering what other countries are like, I think I'd like to spend some time living somewhere with a better culture around work and mental health but I'm not sure where to start in terms of where I might want to move to

[@madisyncarter4479]

Thank you for another great video

[@charlotteoneseven]

Great video as always

[@yunhee93]

I love this episode

[@medusajones7785]

My boss found out I was in therapy because I go on my lunch break every Friday. She threatened to fire me if I didnt tell her why I was in therapy. I live in a right to work state which means they can fire me at any time with or without reason. So no, I can't sue them. I cant afford to just quit my job. So I was forced to tell her I'm in treatment for PTSD for sexual assault. I hate my job.

[@treatmenice1564]

How did your boss respond when you told her the reason you were in therapy?

[@medusajones7785]

@@treatmenice1564 I was pretty rude about it when I told her because I was so upset. I said something to the effect of "I'm in treatment for PTSD for sexual assault. I go once a week for CPT?PE therapy which means that each week I get to go and relive my trauma over and over again and then come back here and work like there's nothing going on. And I think I do a pretty damn good job of. Would you like to hear the details about my rape also or is that enough information for you?" At which point she said "Do you think you could move your appointment to a time later in the day?" and I said "No" and our meeting was over. She hasnt said anything to me about it since. I did tell my therapist though because I felt really bothered by her questions and threats. I am currently looking for a new job while I bide my time at this one.

[@_just_TK]

Make a complaint with HR

[@moskalmg]

Taking time off isn't even possible for a lot of people, even if they have an ok HR team and good boss. My job pays so little that if I take a day off, I risk not being able to pay rent, and that's a whole other level of stress. How do I cope with that? Because currently I drink, and that's playing with grease fire

[@twiztidmomma22]

Yeah my coping isn't so well either. I am in the same struggle, but i have 3 kids that depend on me to keep them clothed, fed, and a roof over their head. Taking a day off just doesnt happen. And if i work too much my kids dont get what they need from me

[@sintha333]

great video and vary timely as i just put in for a Leave of Absence so that i can take time away from work for therapy. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety, and am glad that my work allows for it. I just had to have my doctor fill out some paperwork. I choose not to tell my company why i need the leave beyond just saying it was medical(LOA's are handled by a 3rd party company).

[@c.k.1958]

At the moment I am unable to work, due to a health problem. It’s been a few years actually. And I am really struggling with answering the question of what I do for work, when strangers or anyone asks me what I do for work? It’s taken me a long time to even accept that at the moment my health is my priority and I finally I have come to accept that after such a long time.But I feel myself getting so overwhelmed and embarrassed when a stranger asks me what I do for secular work! Is it just me or is anyone else going through the same thing? Or even relate to this? Hope you all have a lovely day 😊 Great video Katie! Thank you for your content! X

[@nenasummers-shanafelt5126]

This is why I lost my job of 13 years. I told them at my lowest that I absolutely had to take time off for me and my family and was let go. I don’t have children, but I do have an elderly parent with a disability who I am a care giver for and it wears on my mental health so much, that working and doing all I used to do as a young person became too much to handle in my late 30s.

[@kj-sf4md]

Time off at my job is tricky, they claim you can gave time to care for self & immediate family members. I have kids & a 90 yr parent,5x cancer survivor. I manage & care giver. But use rhis so calked allowed time off, say an accumulation of 2wks in 6 month's they put you on report and question if you are abusing the system. So to stay off HR radar I claim vacation time. And try to add weekends maintain productivity. Like i said, tricky. Plus mixing in my health appointments. Its a constant precarious balancing act, that can add its own layer of stress

[@IWILLWithMultipleSclerosis]

You can not pour from an empty cup ❤️

[@dude28405]

I work through getting up throwing up exhausted no sleep I just feel nauseous because I’m so tired from working 70 hour weeks I sometimes feel like my inner being is being torn apart by pushing through the burn out

[@AnrupB]

I once got fired for taking one week break/vacation at a cushy job because I was expressing how tired I was for several months. He fired me by email - WHILE I was on vacation. Very few employers that prioritize physical and mental health. As someone with a more recent serious illness that has forced me to stop working altogether, I see clearly that we live in an extremely ableist world. This man is a leader, not a boss, and there is a big difference! Good on him!

[@jennypie1903]

It was mandatory for my ex-husband to take all of his PTO annually. The company even went so far as to lock the employees out of their emails, etc. They did this to prevent burnout. I had never heard of this before.

[@natashabaileylmft1379]

I call it taking a Mental Health Day!

[@mariyrose]

More companies and bosses need to watch your videos. In theory this is wonderful, however, to be able to apply this is very much company to company/boss to boss. I work for a small company and I'm the only one who can fully do my job. There's no way my boss would be ok with me taking leave. We barely have enough paid time off throughout the year just to be able to handle basic life events. :-(

[@rachelrose6040]

Yes I def feel this. Sometimes I feel work can be therapeutic but other time very draining. I work alone so it's almost like mediation to know I have to be present at work and that's it. But when my personal life goes to shit and I'm trying to not let it affect my work life but it's hard

[@punk2879]

Thank you for the video! Like to add. Like where I am in a factory. We have fmla. Where you doctor or psychiatrist can fill out the forms and give you short or long term time off.

[@THIIIIRSTY]

I am fortunate to work for a smaller office, however, I work in a vital department and have a majority of the financial responsibilities for the business. I have canceled vacations, not because I was asked, but because I felt like I needed to be there to handle things during crunch times. I have had a very poor work/life balance and it has been self-inflicted. It has taken me a very long time to find the balance between work life and personal life. I am still working on it. Burnout comes in waves for me. Trying to care enough but not care too much is rough. This video is very, very good! Thank you for your insight, guys! My best way to fight it in small doses lately has been to attach an extra day to paid holidays. Like today! The next one is July 4th. Then Labor Day. Having something to look forward to is SO important.

[@anniesshenanigans3815]

certainly wish we had management like this guy.

[@ashleyf7555]

Awesome video kati 😀

[@stephanieejoyce]

I feel like this video isn't gonna be helpful to me. I don't get sick pay and I really doubt my employer is going to just let me have a week off for mental health reasons without some kind of doctor's note or anything. My employer sees staff as very replacable unfortunately with a 'this is the job, deal with it or leave' kind of attitude

[@allissalopanec5994]

I feel the same as you. I've struggled to remain employed for the past 10 years, even with doctors notes. This video was unhelpful. Policy has to change.

[@Mtz2604]

I took vacations and stuff, but my time for having a "time apart" started with annual hospitalizations in psych ward for a month. After the second hospitalization, a year was about to pass, and I was fired after not meeting the expected metrics for the previous 2 years (when I was diagnosed with my mental health conditions) and not pulling enough an "improvement plan" that wasn't documented by HR. Was just my manager saying, hey we need to improve this specific metric like, right now. My psychiatrist prescribed me for 2 months an antipsychotic that was quite heavy and I even requested special vacations for the 1st week I was taking them (to avoid having bad reactions at my workplace) and only one day was approved, I had to go to ER and they evaluate that I should have at least the remaining working days off because I wasn't fit to work. I came from those days and the day before my manager fired me, he even called me to do a QA check of my work and told me how I was improving (but not fast enough for him). I was pursuing my manager's manager to have a 1:1 with him and explain how I was fearing being fired because my manager was harassing me with my work pace, and that I was feeling so bad that I was afraid of quitting, being fired or getting back 1 month in hospital. My manager's boss gave me the time to talk with him at the afternoon, and my manager called me before my lunch to fire me. 5 years of work, growth, sacrifice and my mental health tossed by a manager who had bad numbers and couldn't afford to have his butt called out. My other metrics were outstanding, it was only my handle time with the cases as a supervisor. Because I'm obsessive and I took longer than my peers to rest assured that nothing else was uncovered. My satisfaction and quality was better than the whole team, I was just slower. And in the time I needed most understanding, while my medication was changing, this douge came and decided I didn't worth the time.

[@kyminity20]

I've just had to quit my work and it sounded like I had a choice base off of my mental health it was like no one wanted to deal with my issues I was working my job 6 years now trying to find something small nothing to big

[@gerismakeuplaughs152]

It's a great video and topic but just so you know, in my experience, and I have worked very close to the HR department/Management or been a part of the team my whole working career and I unfortunately hate to tell you very few places/Managers/ bosses( whatever you want to call them)are not understanding, open or allow you to just share a little. As well as the horrible way people are talked about while taking time off- unfortunately. The most unfortunate part is most folks in the Supervisor positions are themselves not trained, are often overwhelmed, and do not have the skillset to help/have a open non judgmental attitude. I myself have learned by being in those situations and listening and have always treated folks with open arms however we all struggle at times with issues and everyone has something going on and we all need to recognize that and just remember we all have a story. People still need to reach out to HR and if they don't feel they are being treated well to advocate for themselves, by following your chain of command/ hierarchy in your job. If you need to. To say it simply, everyone has a Supervisor so climb the ladder if you need if you have to to take care of you and not be abused or work in a hostile environment. Thank you Katie!! Always such a POSITIVE person. Please add to this video buy doing one for folks on what to do when you can't get the help you need on that job...Etcetera Hope you understand...when you need to go through walls that are in the way of using the programs, like Employee assistance, or FMLA but your job/supervisor/HR are not cooperating..delaying paperwork ETC. I think this would be extremely helpful and should be the second part of the video. Love your videos

[@KarmasAbutch]

Geraldine Martz Yep... I work for government and after burnout was mobbed and harassed and refused accommodations... despite clear legislation and being unionized.. now in a legal battle and ... have PTSD from it. If you’ve got anything less than union protection and seniority... you’re done. HR works for your Employer, to protect them FROM you... it’s all about covering up their own liability... they don’t give a damn about you.

[@cooking_innovations]

Yes you can. You need it

[@Ambuhsofly]

My sister in law took 3 days off for mental health, she was suicidal and needed help. Her employer seemed supportive of her, but when she went back they had already found someone to replace her. After 3 days....this is how most employers are. You have to lie or get FMLA to not be fired. I had a similar experience working for Geico.

[@jeremr-n2938]

I went to my partner manager to give info about how the partner was treating us and what was the point they could improve (because sometime the pressure you place is not even voluntary) next things I know i was laid off with no warning lol also the whole company is going down now so... anyway... on the other side burn out is real and blinding if you see anything that seems you getting tired or overloaded try to get a break and calm time to breath.

[@fembot521]

I do childcare and run my own home daycare. It is impossible to take time off for me. I take sick days rarely and when I need a day off for appointments or for my mental health parents give me major grief. Meanwhile they take all the days they need and bring their kids to me.

[@MrSolonyc]

He was fantastic. My boss says to talk to her but is not easy to talk to and almost takes offence when I don't tell her absolutely everything. It feels humiliating to talk about and the pressure to do so and share what I really don't want to, makes things feel worse. As a result, I have been signed off by the workplace OH doctor, after even a couple of days annual leave being refused and I suspect HR and my boss are working to make me redundant.

[@Debgirl27]

The burnout in healthcare right now is unreal. It is reshaping my career goals going forward. I dont want to be a " good slave". The version of myself the corporate healthcare environments demand is not healthy or dignified.

[@ClaraVianna]

I have a question (for anyone who reads this): what does it mean when instead of crying you start laughing hysterically (not bc of a joke, just out of plain sadness - after a very VERY shitty month)? Just happened once, but should it concern me? PS: Great video as always!

[@_just_TK]

C 4 Kati talks about this in one of her older videos! kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5CmiWCdhLCSgK8

[@ClaraVianna]

@@_just_TK Thank you so much, I'll check it out!

[@codacreator6162]

My CPTSD symptoms result in a state of learned helplessness, where I retreat into the inability to engage with anything to do with my life outside. It has taken up to a year to return (not recover) in the past, but starts the whole process over again. So, the next time I succumb to the accumulation of stressors and collapse under the weight of it all, to an even worse degree than the previous event.

[@ryanwilliams6602]

Long time ago I called out at a new job because I was up for 36 hours and couldn't breath through either nostril, and couldn't sleep on my back due to sleep apnea. Sleep apnea nasal mask filled up with snot because of illness. Boss said power through it, (in my head I said I have powered through everything you can think of). I can't imagine what he would have said if my excuse was "I need a mental day". Either way that boss can choke burning hot coals.

[@lukeclover3420]

I work for a consulting company that got acquired a year ago, and now I'm very uneasy about taking any time off. I've already survived 2 rounds of layoffs this year, and last month they instituted a new bench policy. This was all after we were told none of this was planned, so it's difficult to take anything they say seriously anymore. Basically, if you're not on a project, you have 6 weeks to work with your practice lead to find a project before you're laid off. I'm on a project and this has me very uneasy. I'm on a project so not in panic mode yet, but my last 3 projects in a row ended unexpectedly, now I'm worried taking a vacation will be a precursor to a project ending, and the clock will be ticking while I'm using my PTO. I have really good standing and the company likes me and I still make enough to live comfortably, but the whole situation has been fueling my anxiety

[@yintotheyang6433]

Jump ship before it sinks my friend. The universe likes to make situations uncomfortable for you when it’s time to leave

[@theclairbear9685]

Could you please please do a series on FASD and FAS? I’m 24 and FASD, i was in foster care and they basically kicked me out of care when i turned 21. They didnt give me any info on getting a home with help or applying for disability or anything.. i’m so lost and close to being homeless. My grandparents let me stay with them but they are getting old and soon I will be alone. I work but theres no way I could work a full time job..

[@TheBinski]

I could have taken leave when I needed to but I couldn't stop earning money. I had to have money. It was the worst four years I could imagine. When I had more than enough money to leave for a few months, I moved away to escape winter and I resigned once I'd gotten a new job. It was almost instant recovery and I'm SO sad and angry that people can't get financial support such that they cannot be taken care of when they are at their most ill, when their kidneys are giving up and life means nothing. It's very sad. A good boss is wonderful, a good workplace is utterly sublime. Three sessions offered by most workplaces is NOTHING. NOTHING. there should be ten sessions at least. Very irresponsible as I know it costs the company practically nothing. Anyway, let us hope to one day be more like Scandinavia but warm. :)

[@solegonz762]

I once asked for 4 days off 3 months in advance (& had not taken vacation that year) & was told a solid no. I had a car accident a month before & regret pushing through & not taking time off.

[@patricemurray1377]

I am feeling overwhelmed and burned out at work. It has some affect on my health such as loss of sleep, tension and more importantly high blood pressure. I don’t know what to do...

[@Zbittersweetz]

Curious... Could you do a video on contamination ocd?

[@AcidicOrpheus73]

I failed to show up for work, I didnt call in advance and when they called me I couldnt pick up, I felt tired, sad and anxious, I will be talking with my manager and I want to let her know that I needed some time to recover but I can do my job and manage my time, but Im terrified I will get fired, It scares me to a point I havent been in for long, Ill try my best

[@charlotteoneseven]

I feel like this is so different in the UK...

[@felixcat9455]

How so?

[@twiztidmomma22]

Im curious as well, if it's alright to ask

[@lovelymalrin8455]

@@felixcat9455 Companies don't give a crap about their employees. I had to have doctor prescribed leave from my job and I was made redundant out of no where with no severance pay two days in to my leave. The company obviously gave different reasons stating my position wasn't needed anymore and I wasn't in any state to contest it. This was the last in a long line if shitty jobs I've had where companies just don't care. My poor health now prevents me from working but I have so much anxiety about going back to work should my health improve.

[@KarmasAbutch]

NO really... this is nonsense in North America / Canada too. I took a 2 week burnout leave... 3 years later it’s a Human RIghts case ... against me “progressive, supportive, committed” Employer... I’ll “win” but I also won the gift of PTSD along the way... life ruined

[@KarmasAbutch]

Lovely Malrin same... my employer treated me so badly my burnout became PTSD... and now a Human RIghts case. Lost everything.

[@storytellerhut3488]

Can a therapist bring up issues if their client doesn’t bring it up? Would you confront a client on an issue if you noticed weight changes, possible signs of drug use, past abuse etc.?

[@wootwootwoot32]

Pre covid nostalgia 👏

[@distantignition]

Kati, we'll have no problem with you taking time off from work. Just submit the right forms and we'll perform the standard procedure of flipping a coin. Heads, you get the time off, and tails, you're fired.

[@_just_TK]

distantignition BAHAHAHA!!!! 😹😹😹😹😹

[@zamaxesibesokutu1354]

Today I feel like not working and my boss is really not a person open for discussion . Working at a retail and not being able to take a week of really is stressing me out, I have family issues and I leave far away from home a week can do for me

[@nutiketgotc]

Yeah, I have about 4 hours of leave time in my account and if I take unpaid leave it would be very bad for a lot of people.

[@crystalfullerton3908]

My issues are completely job related. Every time I talk to my mental health counselor, I'm always complaining about work.

[@jonnyjon1324]

Do you know of any programs or places a Canadian can go to get mental health help. I don’t have any benefits or insurance. I went through a traumatic time when I was 9 and I just held everything in as a coupling method but I’m 25 now and it’s all eating me alive. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated thanks

[@laurarivera2714]

I’m a teacher and I have been through a “series of unfortunate events” , sounds funny being said that way but over the last 5 years I have suffered loss in many ways…. Death of a family member, 5 year relationship ending, betrayal from my best friend (she became friends w the woman my ex cheated with, and she met my ex through me), dating a good guy, that my ex bff set me up w, who had dated another coworker secretly, so I ended up being the villain even though she knew that past and I didn’t ….. I spiraled and 2 years later started dating a guy who said everything I needed , he was a narcissist and it became toxic but I had lost my former life and became codependent on him which led me down a dark rabbit hole that I stayed stuck in for 3 years …… I knew he was toxic, but I had no one else …… i had no one to talk to, I felt shame and couldn’t talk about it so I pretended I was fine until I hit rock bottom….. I became isolated and ended up leaving a district I was with for 20 years because I faked my mental issues so well, they just thought I was being reckless and became ostracized and blamed for my “own bad choices”…… in a matter of two weeks, I sold my house, moved to a new town, uprooted my daughter during jr year, and took a position I didn’t want because I needed to just get a job….. I never told my story, I carried the guilt and shame and I lost myself ….. in March, I had a mental breakdown and had to take FMLA leave for a month …. My admin has been very supportive, but my department has not….. I still haven’t really addressed my issues, but they know I’m dealing w something heavy and I’m blessed to have their support ….. Going back, I felt ok, but the vibes around me caused me to have a panic attack a few days ago….. I’ve always been in a tested area, and in Texas, that equals non stop stress, especially this time of year….. admin moved me to 6 grade science …. I’m a generalist so I can teach it all, I was doing 8th reading and I was not happy, (history is my passion) I reluctantly agreed and the stress is gone, but…. My former students are very upset and want me back, I feel so guilty for leaving them, but I feel better working w people who aren’t talking about what they don’t understand…… they could have transferred me, but they are doing what they can to make me less stressed ….. now what to do about my students who feel like I abandoned them 😢

[@marenatatu1118]

Hi, Catie, i know you’ve talked a lot about ED but I’ve been diagnosed with Anorexia nervosa but I’m a regular wheight for my age. Am i missing something or, i don’t know i guess i just don’t understand.

[@_just_TK]

Yarangelís Algarín Kati already has a couple of videos on this already! kzbin.info/www/bejne/joTMc6GelLB0pcU kzbin.info/www/bejne/gWKpeGONn8uSecU

[@marenatatu1118]

TK thanks a lot!