Stop Reacting To Difficult Coworkers ⛔

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Jennifer Brick

Jennifer Brick

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 913
@caringdevotionals2952
@caringdevotionals2952 Жыл бұрын
Just be a stone. A cold stone. Don't talk unless absolutely necessary. Just be a stone. A boring, unexciting, stone. Nothing interesting about you. Just a regular stone.
@HaleyGarcia-p4z
@HaleyGarcia-p4z 4 ай бұрын
Yeah right then their gonna say your acting like a stone cuz u feel embarrassed. Easy said than done
@rik-keymusic160
@rik-keymusic160 4 ай бұрын
What if you have to work as a team?
@joylynch5204
@joylynch5204 4 ай бұрын
I wanted to do this, but then my manager informed me I was not being friendly enough to them.
@jordynwhite3986
@jordynwhite3986 3 ай бұрын
Um that is impossible for me. I am expressive and I cannot walk on eggshells looking for workplace bullies all day to be less that I am.
@n0tfr0mth1sw0rld
@n0tfr0mth1sw0rld 3 ай бұрын
I don't want to be a stone though 😢
@heatherstacy2976
@heatherstacy2976 3 жыл бұрын
It's called reactive abuse and they do it on purpose to make you look unstable. I have worked with people who will RELENTLESSLY say passive-aggressive crap, highlight your mistakes (while hiding their own), and play the victim when you try to bridge the gap and talk it out with them. Best thing you can do is keep your proficiency high and jump ship if your leadership is too stupid to see them as a problem. Funny thing is that you eventually learn that this means they are threatened by you.
@morethanamess1980
@morethanamess1980 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I felt like one of my coworkers was lowkey taking jabs at me because I was from the same background as his ex. My theory was that she broke it off badly and I resembled her enough for this coworker to be harder than me compared to how he treated everyone else.
@ZetaCancri
@ZetaCancri 3 жыл бұрын
When your boss IS the bully as well, yea, run fast
@catmom6830
@catmom6830 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! I agree 100%
@MixSonaProductions
@MixSonaProductions 2 жыл бұрын
thank you. I knew someone at work who really got on my nerves even when he's silent
@Chris-es3wf
@Chris-es3wf 2 жыл бұрын
@@morethanamess1980 you sound like you're projecting... hard...
@thinkforyourself518
@thinkforyourself518 Ай бұрын
For me, the bullying is subtle but powerful. People fully ignoring me, for no reason, or if I say something ignored but when someone else says what I say everyone listens. Iced out, not making eye contact, looking through me, not saying Hi, is how I have experienced discrimination and bullying. It is VERY powerful to make a person completely invisible. I would run around doing all the work while everyone else just sat around. But they got treated with respect and I got treated like it's my job to do what Im doing.
@lambsauce1468
@lambsauce1468 17 күн бұрын
I hope you find a better job.
@kpopqn
@kpopqn 15 күн бұрын
I'm exactly in this situation rn.😢
@xanthippe_2695
@xanthippe_2695 6 күн бұрын
​​@@kpopqnI'm sorry you are experiencing this. I endured it for 10 years. I don't know your situation and life, but take it from me, no job is worth enduring bullying for. Keep working hard, ignore the bullies (they hate when you don't react) and in the meantime try to find another job where you are appreciated. Sending a hug 🫂 of support your way. 💞 One more thing, remember this mantra and say it in your head, because they will try to make you question yourself, say "It's not me, it's them."
@BeautifulJocelyn211
@BeautifulJocelyn211 2 жыл бұрын
We had a team meeting at work to discuss things that need to improve. My manager asked if anyone had anything to say and I was surprised no one wanted to say anything, especially since lots of my coworkers are toxic. So, I bravely said this: “I just want to speak for myself and anyone who needs it. We spend most of the hours of our days here. We come here to do a job, not to be disrespected. I will not tolerate any unprofessional and disrespectful behavior around me. I am a very kind and respectful person so I expect to be treated like that. We are not in high school.” Everyone was shocked that I said that and my manager was actually very happy I spoke up. So she said she also won’t tolerate toxic behavior.
@ec4221
@ec4221 Жыл бұрын
What happened after that meeting? Did they stop? Or did it get worse?
@FreeDingus
@FreeDingus Жыл бұрын
The manager says “I wont tolerate any toxic behavior” just to cover their ass but chances are that it didn’t turn out well for the person who spoke up. When you present a problem you become the problem. When it comes to people problems especially, managers are not quipped to deal with this nor do they want to. They just want to focus on solving business problems and look good to their own managers.
@coldhandsgirl
@coldhandsgirl Жыл бұрын
Probably bad sh..t happened if you say anything like that its most likely you get fired
@sisyize
@sisyize Жыл бұрын
I said the same, and one of them reacted (to me, she was accepting she is the one problem person). Now she is just telling on everyone sabotaging me
@janosvarga962
@janosvarga962 Жыл бұрын
@@ec4221 on my behalf I can tell that, all the team came after me. Slightest mistake and done. I was released from the team at the first chance they got. Luck on that other team was laidback as heck and I got a very lucrative offer to leave with mutual agreement at next layoff period. Overall I won.
@ilovemybeard3394
@ilovemybeard3394 3 жыл бұрын
It sucks that when bullies feel threatened...they like to sabotage, but no worries because I believe in Karma
@jordana145
@jordana145 2 жыл бұрын
Yep, karma is real. And the truth shines through eventually.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
I hope my back stabbing coworker is exposed for what and who she truly is. I hope Karma comes to bite her in that big a$$ of hers.
@jenamirgholi6004
@jenamirgholi6004 Жыл бұрын
revenge is mine saith the Lord
@captainobvious6070
@captainobvious6070 Жыл бұрын
​@@Ig313 dealing with the same shxt.
@pinkrose4322
@pinkrose4322 Жыл бұрын
Me too. And, it's real.
@user-pn9xp1gz2l
@user-pn9xp1gz2l Жыл бұрын
This is why I’m so glad that I no longer work at these toxic jobs anymore. From being underestimated,bullied,underpaid and getting cut hours to a full time business entrepreneur feels good!!! Don’t let these toxic coworkers stop you from achieving your dreams!!!
@roxannerodriguez7075
@roxannerodriguez7075 Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!
@matthewsmith2787
@matthewsmith2787 3 жыл бұрын
I hate co workers who undermine you and knock your confidence
@pinkrose4322
@pinkrose4322 Жыл бұрын
Only if allow it.
@silkroad1201
@silkroad1201 Жыл бұрын
Or tell you what to do when they have no business being in your business. It's like "Bitch I know how to do my job!" I really shouldnt have slept with her
@JaysonT1
@JaysonT1 Жыл бұрын
The fact that you slept with her should be a clue that you might want to take a look at yourself
@whistlinjug
@whistlinjug 3 жыл бұрын
I really don’t get why people have to act toxic in the first place it baffles me
@kaylawaters2691
@kaylawaters2691 3 жыл бұрын
Some people never matured past the pre teen/teenage years I suppose and now these so called "adults" are now working jobs. SMH.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
It's a power play.
@LonjeMarie7
@LonjeMarie7 2 жыл бұрын
It’s because that’s who they really are ,take this as an opportunity to learn and grow ,this happened for you ,not to you reframe the way you see it
@s.g2344
@s.g2344 Жыл бұрын
Because they never left high school- its pathetic. I've seen grown women bully younger members of staff. I do usually say female employees are the worse at this (I'm a female myself saying this )
@iuliua
@iuliua Жыл бұрын
your mental image of the human nature is not according to reality
@sarahk6254
@sarahk6254 Жыл бұрын
Standing up for yourself while not reacting is called assertiveness
@UnMinutoViajando
@UnMinutoViajando 4 ай бұрын
easier said than done when you've been for thousands of hours putting up with the same guy!
@luisriba8082
@luisriba8082 Жыл бұрын
If someone is bullying you repetitively, highlighting your mistakes and undermining your work in front of everyone. Passive behavior is consider harassment and should not be tolerated.
@fatimahh.923
@fatimahh.923 8 ай бұрын
Hello this is exactly what i went through today. Can u help me out a little? Do u mean i shouldn’t be passive in this situation?
@luisriba8082
@luisriba8082 8 ай бұрын
@@fatimahh.923 you should not let anyone to harrass you. In the workplace, you can sue the company for harrasment, plus they can not retaliate against you. Thats the one thing they dont want. They rather get rid of that person than go for a headache...
@darkizofficial
@darkizofficial 7 ай бұрын
i deal with this daily, got used to it, even doe i do nothing wrong by just showing up at my job and start working, they have to blame someone instantly. Inspector came and superior boss, and my boss said i'm lying so they believe the lie she lied, nothing can be done. otherwise i'm open to ideas.
@julianamoon3088
@julianamoon3088 7 ай бұрын
Don’t do positive reinforcement after they are being negative to you.
@virtuouzgirl8328
@virtuouzgirl8328 3 жыл бұрын
I don't feel like this is very realistic. Especially when dealing with discrimination as a black person, this doesn't work. I'm very non-confrontational and I can tell you that holding my tongue etc. has done nothing but enable bullies and toxic coworkers to ruin my reputation and try to get rid of me every time. In my experience, it's best to speak up but be wise about how you do it. Your peace of mind is also important.
@ajoyforlife1
@ajoyforlife1 3 жыл бұрын
Well said. I agree with you. We need to call them on their mistreatment and attacks. Get the same with my manager from time to time. Had to go to our director with the matter. He (director )really didn't want to call my manager on his stuff but ultimately my manager was wrong. I refused to be treated badly.
@shawnthegamer8252
@shawnthegamer8252 3 жыл бұрын
I super agree. Especially when you the wrong color. This is reality for me so i get em on the back end and play games too. F it. You can't beat em so i joined the party. Only way you can stop the crap is get another job where you appreciated.
@blackdahlia4U
@blackdahlia4U 2 жыл бұрын
Black people discriminate as well. I'm one white with 50 black coworkers. Ya'll do it too! Even worse.
@ledam2654
@ledam2654 2 жыл бұрын
@@blackdahlia4U Even worse? History up until the past 4 decades proves otherwise. I'd take a sassy comment over being murdered in cold blood any day.
@wakeup9225
@wakeup9225 2 жыл бұрын
@@ledam2654 It's not always about you ya know, I'm not even white but in the end every race has gone through hell. In the end we all bleed red.
@YoungoneYoung-lm4xe
@YoungoneYoung-lm4xe 2 жыл бұрын
Be proactive and not reactive because once they get a reaction from you, they know how to push your buttons and they will do so anytime. Don't give them the satisfaction. The best response is no response.
@krystle8287
@krystle8287 Жыл бұрын
exactly. don't feed the animals..
@MIchaelSybi
@MIchaelSybi Жыл бұрын
The best is work where therre's no bullying and toxic environment. I just left such a job, and feel much better. It affects your health a lot, even if you ignore it
@KXcarabebe
@KXcarabebe 5 ай бұрын
@@MIchaelSybitrue I’m waiting for my internship to end….
@KXcarabebe
@KXcarabebe 5 ай бұрын
I did sometimes look at them when they look at me… what should I do?
@MIchaelSybi
@MIchaelSybi 5 ай бұрын
@@KXcarabebe Please do what you feel is reight. I left that sh^^ty job and found a much better, where attidude is great
@l.mack89
@l.mack89 3 жыл бұрын
I wish not reacting would have worked for me. I kept my distance from people and did my best to keep my focus on work and keep conversations professional. I ended up losing my job because a few of my toxic coworkers spread false rumors about me to management trying to get me in trouble, and it WORKED. I'm not even exaggerating, when I tried to defend my truth, the manager looked me right in the eyes and told me he didn't believe me. They won. I feel hopeless, it feels that bad people will always win no matter what you do. 😞
@cassiopeia3602
@cassiopeia3602 3 жыл бұрын
I feel in the same situation right now. I’m looking for another job, I’m a minority so I will never win this battle.
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry for what you went through this. It's unfair and frustrating and demoralizing. But I promise not all companies and teams are like this. When you're ready watch my Toxic Job Recovery videos, they're going to help. As important as it is to not react / play their game... staging yourself to win the game is important. This is where UAQ, professional branding and strategic relationships become really important. Keep watching here because we'll be digging into all of these things. I'm cheering for you my friend and sending so many positive vibes your way 💜
@MrCAppiah
@MrCAppiah 3 жыл бұрын
This pretty much happened to me, although I took the mistreatment and quit last year. The bullying continued even through Zoom. I sat there and took the high school bullying for a year + and my mental health deteriorated mainly because no one cared to believe what I was experiencing. And as the video stated, if I retaliated in any way, I'd be the one in shit. The bullying (from lower and higher-level employees) + shit pay = garbage mental state and depleted confidence The experience pretty much made me not want to work in corporate any longer.
@savithapremkumar3341
@savithapremkumar3341 3 жыл бұрын
@@MrCAppiah toxic workplaces and Co workers need to be culled. It's never you fault and no matter what you ever do in their best interests including self sacrificing and solving all their problems and letting them take credit, they still put you down completely, etc. It just won't matter. This is how things are.
@ajoyforlife1
@ajoyforlife1 3 жыл бұрын
@@MrCAppiah Microaggressions are reality in corporate America in certain spaces toward certain employees that are constantly ignored. Sometimes you have to call them on their stuff and let the chips fall where they may. Hope this finds you in a better head space. Be encouraged. Build your own.
@arizonaskye3917
@arizonaskye3917 2 жыл бұрын
Wanting to "save face" is NOT the reason I want to react. It's bc I want to show them they don't intimidate me. So I disagree that they always want you to react. They like to think they have intimidated you into silence. They think you are too embarrassed to speak up. They themselves should be ashamed by showing such a lack of social skill and social grace. So once again, in my humble opinion, staying silent and letting them think they are intimidating you is NOT ALWAYS the best way to handle it. Not saying you are completely wrong as it varies case to case. But this is MY opinion in my own personal bully experiences.
@mirabela1344
@mirabela1344 Жыл бұрын
Agree
@kovrcek
@kovrcek 9 ай бұрын
but she is not saying to stay silent, just few seconds to let your amygdala calm down, which is really great advice. then respond (do not react!). response is a different thing to reaction, reaction is emotional, coming from place of arousal and primitive reptilian brain - like she says fight-flight. this is never good, period. these are functions of the brain from prehistoric times, when if you were attacked by a tiger, you had to react to survive. they are triggered because in a sense you were attacked. and in prehistoric times you would probably killed that animal/person or seriously hurt them. but of course this is not possible nowadays. you "kill" them by not reacting. they feed on your reactions. response would be something like (with a genuine smile) "ha, that's silly to say that, that's a lie" and leave it at that. don't let them change your emotional state. believe me they feel it when you do. they read people very well.
@Noodleloveeeer
@Noodleloveeeer 3 жыл бұрын
I started a new job. And I was so excited and willing to do anything and help and it turned sideways. Your videos seriously helps me get through this new environment. And is helping me try to handle the situations better. Thank you.
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad my videos are helping you!!
@goddesstiva
@goddesstiva 3 жыл бұрын
Me too. It’s my second day today
@Noodleloveeeer
@Noodleloveeeer 3 жыл бұрын
@@goddesstiva I hope your new job is treating you well!
@Jackdman25
@Jackdman25 2 жыл бұрын
@@goddesstiva how have you been handling these situations if I may ask? My first day is 4/18
@trollking6315
@trollking6315 2 жыл бұрын
@@JenniferBrick Stop talking like a stereotypical valley girl and people might like your videos more. Your voice is insufferable. Notifications are off, dont bother replying
@ccsnd77
@ccsnd77 Жыл бұрын
The worst thing about being targeted by toxic coworkers is that it erodes at your sense of self-worth. You have to approach this from the inside-out. In other words, start from a place of truly respecting and honoring yourself no matter how you are treated by your coworkers and the right behavior/approach will automatically follow.
@Muddface100
@Muddface100 Ай бұрын
Yea it makes you ashamed of of shit you didn't even do smfh because usually these ppl are pathological liars but ppl believe them at first. .. it sux but you must remain stoic with ur head held high till tha Lies dissipate smfh . Then if ur lucky like me that same loser will wanna be ur friend when tha lies didn't work. ..🤦🏿‍♂️🤷🏿 This is why I hate ppl😩😅😅
@StillGamingTM
@StillGamingTM 2 жыл бұрын
8:02 I once witnessed a teammate of color respond with exactly this question "What do you mean?" to a truly terrible racist joke the team leader made about banana's, casually referring to the teammate of color. The teammate who made the joke started tripping over words and stuff trying to get away from having to explain the joke -- it was so awkward and it was such a perfect response to the racist joke, I'll never forget it
@arthurdevrome8925
@arthurdevrome8925 Жыл бұрын
Should have recorded it. A good lawyer and publicity can make millions! 💪
@seshlauren
@seshlauren 3 жыл бұрын
Coworkers that always push work onto you and never help.
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
They shouldn't be doing that, the work and your team will suffer.
@whitneyjones8678
@whitneyjones8678 2 жыл бұрын
True Story… also I’ve been working at a preschool academy as an 2/ 3 year old teacher! But I’m doing everything like interacting with the kids, and playing toys and running outside with them. I always ask for more help/ or more support but it never really happens.
@hilmandapandula7377
@hilmandapandula7377 2 жыл бұрын
I have been going through this....and the more you strive the more work they give you so you drawn and so they can conclude that you are incompetent..... But in the process I actually realized that although that is happening I am looking at the positive side that I am getting more faster doing my work but it gets overwhelming... I had a burnout and was informed that I don’t do my work😂yet when I am not around they complain but when I am around they don’t complain because I do most of the work....however I pray everyday and they living God pulls me through the day....Every struggle has its own ending....hoping that mine comes out soon.
@jb44448
@jb44448 Жыл бұрын
going through that now. and then when I bring it up I'm the bad guy.
@GoldenAngel-
@GoldenAngel- Ай бұрын
Yes exactly especially if they have the same responsibility as you and you both or getting the same pay or even greater Doing someone else work only creates resentment Especially if that person keeps quiet
@jacksong8131
@jacksong8131 Жыл бұрын
So in other words, don't do anything about it, and let them walk all over you. The whole reason they KEEP bullying you and others is BECAUSE no one reacts to them. They get off on the power that they can do what they want and get away with it.
@mirabela1344
@mirabela1344 Жыл бұрын
Yes
@galaxyglitterlatte4664
@galaxyglitterlatte4664 Жыл бұрын
Seems like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!! 😒🥴🤮
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.
@raffibarsoumian1075
@raffibarsoumian1075 Жыл бұрын
This can happen when they have the boss in their back pocket because the boss is a spineless cowardly politician giving these otherwise nobodies associate power.
@fae1magalokreas
@fae1magalokreas Жыл бұрын
I agree. One coworker did not stop when I ignored him even when I offered restart with him a few times. So I started to assert. Especially when he mentioned to the director that he would try to wack me with his ruler when I told him that "advise against that". They had to back off. Still the emails that implied that I have delayed when actually he didnt even tell me that the job was ready to start (literally his responsibility) continued and I told them to let me next time if the job is ready and which job is ready to start. If they want him so much they can keep him. Two people resigned since he started.
@LonjeMarie7
@LonjeMarie7 2 жыл бұрын
If anyone is going through this I’m sorry I feel your frustration and your pain that’s why I’m here as well. I know it’s tough YOU win when you stay professional and DONT react! That difficult nasty coworker you are not the only one they are messing with ,trust me other people see their nasty negative behavior. TAKE NOTES. AVOID the contaminate. Do NOT gossip to other coworkers about them , that could come back to hurt YOU. Relieve your frustrations about that negative coworker to friends ,family members ,a therapist if you have one. THANK that nasty little creature in your head, ‘not to them personally’ for revealing they’re TRUE character. From experience they end up getting fired and they’re nasty little shenanigans always comes to the light! YOU be the light, and the joy on the job. Nasty difficult antagonistic people are actually master teachers in disguise. It brought you to this video didn’t it? Gods got YOU!
@cowabungga
@cowabungga Жыл бұрын
I know this is a late response, but I love your advice & I just wanna thank you so much for this. I have faith that one day I will be able to leave the job I'm stuck at. I know I won't work there forever. This is only temporary.
@unknown-lf6zx
@unknown-lf6zx 10 ай бұрын
I am and it is a coworker that I helped get a job …twice. When people so you who they are, believe them. There’s a difference in an honest mistake and someone with diva behaviors, immaturity and malice! I simply said to her, I no longer choose to be involved and my focus is on my job and providing for my family! I plan to keep her at arms length and take her chair away from my table of taking and toxic behavior! I choose to work on my one self improvement and financial well being. Hopefully she will leave me alone going forward so pray for me
@evangielyncister8684
@evangielyncister8684 3 ай бұрын
Great advice! Thanks!❤
@Ninastarr
@Ninastarr 2 жыл бұрын
There should really be support group meetings for people dealing with this stuff because it really drains the soul from u..I was so passionate for so long about my type of work and im mad at myself for allowing them to kill the enthusiasm inside me
@tracyhulugh2123
@tracyhulugh2123 2 жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to how you feel. Thesame thing is happening to me. I was so passionate about my job but the toxic people and environment has made me a robot. I don't care anymore.
@cassiewollen1402
@cassiewollen1402 Жыл бұрын
Yes, my situation has a group of young insecure Millenials who all still live with their parents with only a few years of work experience at age 30. They out number the calm cool coworkers...there is no management so it's like The Lord of The Flies on the work floor. Hard to fix that problem when management let's them run free.
@dystanysam9896
@dystanysam9896 Жыл бұрын
I can agree with you I had found my dream job working at a hotel but than I’ve started to pick up the vibe & how everyone’s treats everyone ,lately it’s so drain . I’m just been so disappointed in working with a company . who’s let’s their employees gets away with bullying. None of the managers seems to cares .
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
It's too late. I've already played right into the toxic coworkers hands. She went behind my back to my boss, told her something that got me in trouble, and then my boss humiliated me in front of everyone. I "lost it" and went off on everyone. There was name calling and yelling. I've been dealing with this kind of stuff for 14 years. Usually, I freeze or get a little defensive when my boss makes accusations, or humiliates me. I've since apologized, but it's too late. They're getting ready to fire me, or force me to quit. My boss recently gave the back stabber a promotion.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z
@user-zr6pl6nb6z 2 жыл бұрын
Hang on just to spite them.
@LadyBoBannon
@LadyBoBannon Жыл бұрын
Screw 'em. Don't beat yourself up. Your buttons can only be pushed so much and if you get fired it can be a blessing in disguise. Take notes on their behavior and if they fire you, go for unemployment and if there is push back, I'd talk to a lawyer.
@TM-np5lq
@TM-np5lq Жыл бұрын
Wow, been there, hated that! And though it feels "too late" It's NOT. (Only for that bad situation)- you're just in time for all this advice to make a better fresh start- please see if that perspective feels better, because after 14 years, you deserve to feel better. It's just a matter of collecting and using all the new tools you can to build a new improved life. It won't be perfect, but at least now you'll SEE some of those nasty pitfalls and KNOW to steer clear BEFORE blindly stumbling in. We've all done it, live and learn. Adjust and improve- youre on the right path now, friend.
@dystanysam9896
@dystanysam9896 Жыл бұрын
That what happen to me , I’ve been putting in the most work . I’ve asked this co worker if she can help me to take out the trash one little trash and she try to make up an excuse saying “I’ll didn’t help , her out the whole day “knowing I had seen her take her breaks longer then she supposed. Ever since I had called her out with my manager. she be doing things on purpose trying to get a the reaction out of me , both of my co workers Have lately I’ve been very snappy with them bc I’m seeing through their BS when everyone else doesn’t Speak up enough about it .
@JustinLazlo
@JustinLazlo 7 ай бұрын
Regardless of what happened, your boss should not have reprimanded you in front of everyone. Sounds like they are just as bad.
@joesbeard
@joesbeard 2 жыл бұрын
I've learned the hard way by reacting. I work with 3 demonstrative individuals who push my buttons. When I react it only makes me look unstable and difficult. This is good advice.
@carliebeau5329
@carliebeau5329 2 жыл бұрын
Looking unstable usually helps this way they won't mess wit u anymore. Don't be afraid to look unstable dear.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z
@user-zr6pl6nb6z 2 жыл бұрын
@@carliebeau5329 This is true. I always tend to give as good as I get. It's made me no friends at work, but they know I'm not a pushover.
@Angel-gb9gi
@Angel-gb9gi Жыл бұрын
Yes best to keep quiet and play a game called how many things I have to do before I can leave this happy place.. on your mark get set go and don't look back to see what the happy and nice co workers are doing because it's going to ruin your game and turn your smile upside down.
@johniii8147
@johniii8147 3 жыл бұрын
A smart, good boss sees through this.
@victorrosales7565
@victorrosales7565 Жыл бұрын
I hope so
@savoirfaire8979
@savoirfaire8979 Жыл бұрын
Not all bosses are good or smart.
@johniii8147
@johniii8147 Жыл бұрын
@@savoirfaire8979 Agreed. I've had several of those in my career.
@agrav2474
@agrav2474 Жыл бұрын
Most bosses are not 😂
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
nope
@电影迷-v5j
@电影迷-v5j 3 жыл бұрын
Whether you'll be prompted depends on your relationship with your boss.. I have seen nasty backstabbing people got promoted, and they are mediocre at work.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
At my workplace the back stabber just got a Brazilian butt lift and a promotion. Her head is as big as her a$$ now.
@yazmeister93
@yazmeister93 2 жыл бұрын
One coworker threatened me yesterday saying something like “talk sh!t behind my back again and it’ll come back to bite you” and I didn’t say anything bad, yet they cannot act maturely. This has of course driven me to resign as HR likes this person too much and won’t do anything. My manager dismissed it as a joke too, which speaks volumes
@moederkoekjes3380
@moederkoekjes3380 2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes these people have the wrong idea what "talking shit behind someone's back" means. It's a malicious way of framing it to get you scared of asking for advice or speaking up.
@caringdevotionals2952
@caringdevotionals2952 Жыл бұрын
I went through being cussed out by multiple coworkers and my manager told me I was misinterpreting their threats.
@sid2daknee
@sid2daknee Жыл бұрын
@@caringdevotionals2952Yeah, the manager was trying to gaslight you for sure.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.
@Nobody-dc8dp
@Nobody-dc8dp Жыл бұрын
If HR doesn't, call the third party HR that all HR answers too.
@nellyismotivated7839
@nellyismotivated7839 3 жыл бұрын
Yes. I do enjoy your videos. My favorite was the great resignation. I just feel like there is atleast 1 toxic, co worker at work or maybe a few who kind of spoiled the rest of the bunch. It’s so damaging but makes me more upset is upper management dismissing this type of rude and passive behavior. Unacceptable in my opinion.
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
Toxic work environments are so often created by enablement due to non-action by leadership. I think they don't understand the cost to employee morale - and the company. Toxic coworkers are costly for so many reasons.
@nellyismotivated7839
@nellyismotivated7839 3 жыл бұрын
@@JenniferBrick Exactly! You are always spot on Jennifer! 💯
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
At my job, management is on the same level as the other middle aged mean girls.
@sim7409
@sim7409 2 жыл бұрын
can't stand those who feel they can only elevate themselves by trying to point out another's shortcomings
@The25Sister
@The25Sister 3 жыл бұрын
True, they like to trigger you (look, look this is what I mean, she is too emotional).
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
PRECISELY!!!
@kaylawaters2691
@kaylawaters2691 3 жыл бұрын
Yes exactly!
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
Very passive aggressive and manipulative. It's all about power and control because deep down they know... They ain't sh**.
@toddgillotte4553
@toddgillotte4553 2 жыл бұрын
@@PerrySkyePhoenix im dealin with that everday n it keeps gettin worse...trigger effect
@hilmandapandula7377
@hilmandapandula7377 2 жыл бұрын
Silence sometimes is the key guys....do not waste your time with unnecessary co-workers. some co-workers ruin peoples day in order to feel better about themselves.... however I feel if it gets unprofessional I believe setting up a meeting and confronting them individually that will do... I have experienced bullying as well but having your mind set on the goal they all disappear when you don’t react to their actions....,and while you do that,keep applying for a new position..... you will get a company where it will feel better going to work every morning.
@counterculture10
@counterculture10 Жыл бұрын
Well said.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.
@ardalan_fcb
@ardalan_fcb 2 жыл бұрын
today was a hard day for me because of my stupid coworkers, I watched this and now i'm a bit better. thanks
@rik-keymusic160
@rik-keymusic160 4 ай бұрын
I went to my manager today because of an issue i had with a coworker. Point is, she does her job very wel and is really competent, which is something I really admire in a way. But her attitude towards me isn’t healthy at all. I raised my voice at her today and told her if her attitude doesn’t change I’ll walk away. I just don’t care ! My mental health is more important than any job! But my boss knows her and it’s not the first time they hear about her attitude but she gets away with it because she’s “actually the one who manages the place”… she gained to much power in the company so she can just do whatever she want’s so to speak… and I’m the new guy so yeah they’ll probably choose here over me because I’m still a liability in a way…. I noticed it in other companies to that people how know their job very wel get some sort of Ego and they tend to abuse the position they have but the management just doesn’t really care as long as the job is done well… it’s sad because often they fire really good people in the process just to save the rotten apple!
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
For what it is worth, you probably did the right thing by giving your manager a heads up. In my last job, we had some Difficult Coworkers as well, and the colleagues who didnt make too much of an issue of their shitty attitudes were assigned to have to work most closely to them. The collegeagues that repeatedly complained were more likely to get other projects (with the nicer people)... In the end, the manager just wants the work to be done, with the least amount of fall out / hassle in the teams. If you endlessly put up with bullying, they just assign you to the bullies, since you get the work done anyway & dont complain. Thats a fail for you, btw...
@davidfoster2006
@davidfoster2006 9 ай бұрын
Being aloof and taking no notice of them is a good plan.
@amandat7987
@amandat7987 Жыл бұрын
Going through this right now. DON'T react. Just ignore them. They aren't worth it. I use to be a super reactive person. This time around im not and it really helps me to feel better.
@athens31415
@athens31415 2 ай бұрын
So are you still employed there today? The "don't react" advice usually just accelerates the exclusion process and leads to getting fired from your job.
@Mike-pj1kv
@Mike-pj1kv 4 ай бұрын
Here's some advice. QUIT bad jobs now. Not tomorrow. Your mental health will die being around bad people.
@MaximumChanges
@MaximumChanges 4 ай бұрын
Facts just quit
@oldskolacura9798
@oldskolacura9798 3 ай бұрын
Stress can also create actual health problems.
@michaeldove4929
@michaeldove4929 3 ай бұрын
I love my job. There's just a couple of fuckwits there. I'm here to learn how to deal with them coz usually I'd tell them to meet me after work for a fist fight.
@audraelynnegrimmelhaussen8808
@audraelynnegrimmelhaussen8808 2 жыл бұрын
I wish I had this advice in my early 20s but I learned to be as scary as I can on the outside and call these people out in their BS as I got older. There is a reason why there is an employee code of conduct.
@not_the_same_
@not_the_same_ Жыл бұрын
This comment section is like a support group! Yall dont know how much your stories help
@youyoujim1
@youyoujim1 6 ай бұрын
Unfortunately I call people out on their shit Regardless if it's their game or not if your being a shitty person you should be reminded that you are being one . Because at the end of the day it'll make me feel better that I just didn't let that happen to me , I said what I said and didn't hold back , sometimes you have to take a stand against these people .
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
Always holding your tongue is not always good. I did, and it did have some good effects, but the resentment that built up inside of me from always biting my tongue was insane. Sometimes you just need to say something. If only for your own self respect/ feeling you have a voice in your own life. I think you need to weigh (based on situation, previous history & your own feelings etc. ) whether to speak up, or bite down. Both can be the best options at times.
@youyoujim1
@youyoujim1 3 ай бұрын
@PantaRhei-wz5zn I agree but definitely don't hold back what's in your heart and head if your scared of "Offending" somone screw it just be yourself that's what I truly believe.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
@@youyoujim1 In hindsight, i wish i played it more like that.... You like yourself better this way😀
@youyoujim1
@youyoujim1 3 ай бұрын
@PantaRhei-wz5zn I appreciate the like minded thinking ! And totally agree
@EpicDreamer_
@EpicDreamer_ 3 жыл бұрын
The best reaction is - no reaction. Only political correctness and being polite. They only want a reaction and you being distracted make them win. Being politician is a skill! 😇 besides all, I’m just thinking of looking elegant, sophisticated and dignified in front of the authorities and professional in my expressions. Ego down. Only wisdom sees deeply in silence and elegance.
@counterculture10
@counterculture10 Жыл бұрын
ooooooooooooooh, good answer.
@LordShockwave9
@LordShockwave9 2 жыл бұрын
Perfect timing, I'm dealing with one right now, and the team warns me that everyone knows they're difficult, and they're right. I just don't react and make other plans to boost my career, and your video validated that decision. Thank you Jennifer!
@greneellen8
@greneellen8 3 жыл бұрын
This might be great if you work in corporate America with hierarchy and structure. Not everyone does. In some companies it's a free for all, and whoever plays dirtiest wins. I wish management would see the Patties for what they are. Mostly the Patties are smart enough to adjust their behavior and play a different game when certain people are watching. It's very hard to be professional and pleasant in an office with people being very spiteful and nasty on a very personal level.
@ajoyforlife1
@ajoyforlife1 3 жыл бұрын
Same toxic behavior in corporate America. They ignore it too.
@blackdahlia4U
@blackdahlia4U 2 жыл бұрын
Lol sounds like the Federal Government...just throw some sadistic machiavellism.
@autumnbruno5287
@autumnbruno5287 2 жыл бұрын
My manger is my boyfriends nonblood Aunt and she thinks she can treat me however she wants like she does her daughter.. her daughter hates her and I can tell why. My manger literally attacks me with full aggression like I’ve done something horribly wrong. She tried to one up me and tells everyone how much she’s done for me like I should be guilty for being upset with her about what she’s done to me.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, and I've endured it for 14 years. I should've quit a long time ago.
@sasz2107
@sasz2107 3 жыл бұрын
If a supervisor is the one trying to make you look bad, or is trying to get you to react, even if you do not react, they still win. In that case you have to get out.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
Yep. That's where I'm at right now.
@nursebee-vomit5058
@nursebee-vomit5058 Жыл бұрын
That’s me right now. I called out my manager for making sexual comments about a customer. Now he is making more gross comments around me. I’m not sure what to do until I leave in a month, but silence doesn’t help when the bridge is already burning.
@DeniseDegray
@DeniseDegray 3 жыл бұрын
I love your videos! You’ve helped me realize I’ve been with a toxic company. I do take accountability when needed because I do make mistakes.
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad my videos are helping. I'm a fan of accountability... but don't be afraid of spelling theirs out so they don't hand it over to you.
@carismoon332
@carismoon332 2 жыл бұрын
Hey..
@amandawhitis8788
@amandawhitis8788 3 жыл бұрын
I can cut this 13 minute video down in 20 words. ✌🏼 If you are constantly having to be the bigger person then you got to stop working with little people. Period!
@zeweichu550
@zeweichu550 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Ljm-hp9pu
@Ljm-hp9pu 2 жыл бұрын
This is the absolute truth.
@curious_7525
@curious_7525 2 жыл бұрын
Seriously.
@Lucky_Gurl-Luna
@Lucky_Gurl-Luna 2 жыл бұрын
🙏 thank you 💙
@XavierCarter9129
@XavierCarter9129 2 жыл бұрын
But the problem is that those little people exist everywhere and you will most likely have to deal with them eventually. So you might as well know the best way to do so without negatively affecting your vibe and reputation.
@lefinlan
@lefinlan 2 жыл бұрын
Reacting is fine, how you react is what makes the difference.
@azucarmoreno28921
@azucarmoreno28921 2 жыл бұрын
I guess my issue with dealing with toxic people in this manner is the double standard. The coworker with the pattern of bad behavior gets off with a slap on the wrist because this is just who/how they are! While you ruin your prospects for reacting or becoming defensive. It looks like a no win situation. I’ve been in this situation before and the high road did not work as expected. Whenever I got a promotion this person got one too, whenever I was given something they were given the same to appease them. I ended up leaving the job for that and other reasons.
@Noteworthy2024
@Noteworthy2024 Жыл бұрын
Be wise sometimes you have to respond right away and sometimes you have to be quiet.
@michaelwilliams459
@michaelwilliams459 Жыл бұрын
A co-worker accused me of doing something. I simply said I don't remember doing that. In my mind, I wanted to confront the co-worker. Luckily, I've been studying narcissism, and I know how to not feed them.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.
@alexmurillo51
@alexmurillo51 Жыл бұрын
You have the slightest idea how much it means to all of us that you took the time to do all this videos and give us all this information when going through this situation. You’re amazing may life repay you 100 times more. 👏
@krustycrabbb8736
@krustycrabbb8736 Жыл бұрын
Bullies need to be put into their place. Not reacting is not an option.
@trevorlintott598
@trevorlintott598 9 ай бұрын
Thank you ,fight back immediately, don't take shit from anyone.
@dev_kuo190
@dev_kuo190 Ай бұрын
@@trevorlintott598 My boss warned me that he'll fire me if I confront any of the supervisors again.
@freedomisntfree2089
@freedomisntfree2089 2 жыл бұрын
I was appointed supervisor of 2 different departments at work, I became co manager, I was a down to earth people person treated everyone fair , big mistake being so nice, they will completely try to walk all over you take advantage of your kindness, blame everything on other people, and you end up basically doing their jobs too because they become cry babies.. it's best to be a complete jerk and a bossy boss...
@jmfs3497
@jmfs3497 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this content, J-Brick. I got distracted trying to reach common ground with a disordered manager. I didn't realize how different all of our motivations and boundaries are in this life. I am waking up to understanding that I AM the adult in my life and that I have to accept that I am going it alone. I now know I am on the Autistic Spectrum and my manager is further towards the OCPD/Narcissist spectrum. Learning this changed everything for me. I don't see hierarchy in any meaningful way. I am internally validated by my core values. I like being very calm and introverted and excel when I get into deep focus on my work. And I ask a lot of questions up front so I can set myself off into a flow state and get some great work done that makes everyone happy. My manager is inherently very hierarchy driven and internally ranks himself and others around him on all aspects of life. He needs a lot of attention and external validation. He is very competitive and denigrating about others experience and boundaries. He leaps into action without thought and will rework and rework until clients demand he stop and they accept whatever he's done as good enough. He puts his own needs first and is constantly trying to prove he is the "boss and he says so" like we are children who need to be scolded until we learn. What I have learned IS other people DO notice, like you say in the above video. I'm the not only person treated this way. And they also notice how I behave. Focusing on my health regardless of external circumstances is my best path to my best life. I learned about Grey Rocking first. Biting my tongue blew my mind because my silence allowed me to see the disordered patterns around me, instead of reacting to them.... including my OWN! I learned I had to cultivate a healthier internal space for myself, so that I didn't engage with toxic energy deeply. I also learned that I had to stop thinking of myself as an employee and start thinking of myself as my own client. No one else is going to sign-off on a "good job" to give me permission in my last days on Earth. I'm the one that has to be accountable for how satisfied I am with the life I lived. There is no finish line to pleasing unpleasable people. We are sort of going it alone and hope to bump into kindred enough spirits that life is better because of one another, not worse.
@milabuinguyen5717
@milabuinguyen5717 2 жыл бұрын
I am going through a really hard time at work, involving sexism, rumours and gossips that are not true about me, plus, there are a lot more are going on as well. I have always been rocking up to work happily and focusing on improving myself regardless how bad some people talk/mock me for any reasons. Often, I would just ignore because I know it is not true about me and that is not who I am. And because I always let it go with the thinking that they might have their own struggles or they dont really mean it, at the moment, I do feel being beaten up by those gossips and rumours and want to give up my career and whatever I have worked on far. Going through the series of your videos (not to take things personally, how to deal with rude comment, and etc) reminds me my main purposes in this life, and the reason why I took this job at first place. It is going to be difficult but I will work through my thinking process and continue focusing on myself and continue thriving to live my life goals. Thanks so much Jennifer. It really means a lot to me.
@joeyclarkejoey6212
@joeyclarkejoey6212 Жыл бұрын
This is good in theory, but practically does not work longterm. Office bullying, longterm can impact on your mental health.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
Hear hear. I did cop to it for years on end, and it "worked" to the extent that they never found anything wrong with my work, or i never responded.... but i have serious health issues now as a result. It just isnt worth it. You can use these techniques to bridge a difficult gap... but if it is more like a neverending strech.... take a break. Preferably in time to save your health.
@angelasylvain2476
@angelasylvain2476 Жыл бұрын
As an EA, I was besties with the entire EA team. I created an awesome thing. The person in the department who wanted to be promoted took total credit with the Chief Tech Officer. His EA overheard the conversation and interrupted, saying “Wait a minute, you didn’t do that. I was right there watching A do that.” It was glorious!
@greyshape4247
@greyshape4247 2 жыл бұрын
This is a great video. Eventually... if you keep doing this... you become immune to the constant BS that flows in the work place. You become focused on doing great things in great ways and that becomes so empowering. Surround your self with whatever it is that lifts you up and challenges you to be better. Be careful though. The work zombies and vampires are everywhere. You know who I am talking about. Be smart.
@dennelllancaster3047
@dennelllancaster3047 3 жыл бұрын
@Virtuouz Girl - I agree with your post. I am having an issue with my supervisor who constantly promotes “reactive abuse” towards me to get me to react to her shenanigans. I believe it stems from jealousy, but I’m no fool and I will not react to the drama, which is the sole purpose of the abuse. I hold my tongue but I do vent to friends and family outside of the workplace to relieve the stress and burden of my work situation. I have been keeping a journal of all the bizarre antics that I have experienced in hopes to use it when the time is right to expose the supervisor’s negative behavior.
@vixen8458
@vixen8458 2 жыл бұрын
I hope you are working your way out of this situation! I am experiencing what sounds like it could be something similar and OMG it’s bizarre. I started recording every zoom I endure with this nutcase & paid for an app that will record phone calls. I’m going to compile it into video documentation. That’s if she actually shows up to our meetings. She usually blows me off which is preferable. If she shows up she will say no to every suggestion I have about anything. I’m her marketing person so talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. 😂 She tells me to shut up I meetings when I’m just saying “uhhh huh” in agreement with the speaker, that something is off brand when I got it from her website. She’s an absolute nightmare - and boy does she have it out for me. No idea why she hired me except to have her own plaything to bully.
@wendywalters784
@wendywalters784 2 жыл бұрын
This us how start my morning. I watch your videos before I walk in the door. It really helps me get through the day. Thank you so much!
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 2 жыл бұрын
It's a honor to start the day with you!
@paulhornbogen980
@paulhornbogen980 3 жыл бұрын
You read my mind about my current Patty. Spot. Pause, breath, and let them show their true nature. Patty's behavior patterns become apparent each day. Smile at you then run to the boss. Keep up the good work.
@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599
@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599 Жыл бұрын
Keeping quiet isn't gonna help. If u do that people take you for granted and circulate wild lies with the assurance that you're not gonna react. Reacting calmly would help. Also make sure that other coworkers know exactly what's going on. Else you'd be isolated
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life./
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
🎯
@nervousbreakdown711
@nervousbreakdown711 11 ай бұрын
Will never forget when a co-worker came into my office, called me a bunch of names including the ones our abusive boss called me, complained to our new supervisor that I don’t like her, then denied she ever did anything wrong, AND NOW IS GOING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE HOW PROFESSIONAL AND HUMBLE SHE IS
@incogneto3645
@incogneto3645 Жыл бұрын
All it takes is one toxic coworker to make everyone miserable.
@livylu6287
@livylu6287 Жыл бұрын
I work at a place where I literally feel like it’s a geriatric mean girl throwback to high school. I work with all ages. Literally people from the age of 16 on up to the ages of 70. The ones in their 40s and 50s are some of the meanest women I have ever met. I’m 39, and I hope I’m not that miserable in the next 10 years. There’s one in particular who literally bullies the teenagers we work with. I’ve gone to management about it, but somehow nothing has been done.
@hj-xb2tr
@hj-xb2tr Жыл бұрын
It's not a general "older becomes more miserable" thing. I work with women ranging from around 35 to 60. The 35 year old is a huge problem (while most of the older women are great).
@AlisonRuthless
@AlisonRuthless Жыл бұрын
Its the worst ones that seem to always weasel their way out of accountability & into the good graces of the bosses. I've seen it a thousand times & I am baffled every time. How do they not see what is so obvious? Or maybe they don't care & like a bully. Its crazy to me & certainly not good for business in the long-run.
@quie7677
@quie7677 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Jennifer, I am in a toxic workplace ; I took the job because I wanted my own money and needed to get out of the house. The person who referred me is the person who is toxic and throws me under the bus every chance she gets.The manager believes her because she has been working there for 2 years + and very good friends. It is hard to avoid her because we are always scheduled together (senior group home). It is long story, and there are many facets to it. I am looking for another job, in my profession. I have been watching you on YT for 4 months... THANK YOU
@xhottestpink
@xhottestpink 3 жыл бұрын
Wow your story sounds like mine! New to a job, they believe the woman whos been there before me. Loves to run to my boss w fake crap. Hang in there
@Wooplot
@Wooplot 3 жыл бұрын
Good luck Quie
@mygaminghands9875
@mygaminghands9875 2 жыл бұрын
@@xhottestpink karma will catch up I've been working at a place for 4 years now an the person bothering me is just a year but the manager believes them
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.....
@btown8210
@btown8210 8 ай бұрын
You’re my favourite person to watch about difficult co-workers! Calm, chill and collected
@davidellis5141
@davidellis5141 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Jennifer 👋 - I really enjoy your videos while on break at work. They help me deal with the day to day fun & games at work. I can't thank you enough for this series. Have A Great Day ! 👍
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for spending your break with me!
@kellym5669
@kellym5669 3 жыл бұрын
This came at the right time. I'm going to try these strategies. I'm glad I found this channel.
@URBANAssault98
@URBANAssault98 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I went to war I had to learn this one the hard way. I lost money and everything. But the lesson was priceless now I just ignore people and pretend they don't exist. 😂 Destroy all opposition! 👿
@Ashleyn3483
@Ashleyn3483 2 жыл бұрын
I blew up yesterday! Came after me because I'm changing my availability to mornings and all the full timers ganged up on me. I told them like it is. Full time, fully available.. so they're scared that they will be moving to nights because we're so short handed. We had a mid night person who quit because she wanted a mid shift. We NEED it! But of course, the full timers said NO!! Not going to allow it' I've been here longer!' Well don't complain that y'all don't have help then!
@acer4237
@acer4237 2 жыл бұрын
Don’t react because it will make you feel worst than responding. But by all means, the crucial conversation must happen or it will pile up and you will break and react or holding that internally will take its tow.
@2cupcakes1jar45
@2cupcakes1jar45 Жыл бұрын
This is so true- hold your tongue for about 6seconds, respond with high integrity, and who you are and how you respond. My mngr confronted me, and my brain went into shock and I froze ( I couldn't hear ). I remained quiet, my lips sealed and I could remember your words in my head, and I responded ," you're right, I may not see what I'm doing wrong and I may need to lean on your judgement" ( I remained quiet). This statement pivoted the environment while being confronted by my mngr. My mngr was testing me if those who were sabotaging me were truly right...and i remembered your words, swallowed tears in my throbbing in my throat, remain calm and walked out the room nicely. Thank you so much!!!
@pierre-rose7783
@pierre-rose7783 2 жыл бұрын
oh, the crap we sometimes have to put up with !It seems that no matter where you work, it doesn't take long to figure out who the A-holes are !
@AlisonRuthless
@AlisonRuthless Жыл бұрын
I both agree & disagree. I was that person who wanted to remain dignified - & I did to a significant degree. I bit my tongue, I tried to stay consistent, professional, even kind, & not retaliate. I thought others would see it in time... Instead of helping, it only got worse. I mean really, really bad. To the point, I had genuine trauma that resulted in residual physical & emotional damage. I stuck it out for almost two years & suffered horribly. It starts to really get to even the strongest person after awhile until you feel like a shell of yourself. I don't know what the right answer is between quiet dignity & firm push-back other than leaving certain abusive work situations - sooner rather than later. Sometimes dignity is seen more as a weakness than what it actually is meant to be & it brings the mean out in even the "nice" people. Of course, those people are responsible for their conduct - not the individual just trying to do their job in a genuine, hard-working, decent person of integrity kind of way. Naturally, no one is perfect, but even taking responsibility for yourself is seen as an excuse for them to pile on. I certainly got an education in brutal "office politics." Still, I think for most situations, your advice is good & solid, & is much more likely to lead to far less regrets & drama.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
Can certainly relate to that. In Toxic work environments, Kindness= Weakness. Unless you figure out a way to enforce boundaries (metaforically hitting their hands with a steel ruler as they misbehave), you are doomed. Wish it was different... Decency alone should be enough. It often isnt. In a new office environment, try to figure out where the steel rulers are. If the work floor ethics go bad & you have no steel rulers to take care of yourself: You need to exit that hopeless place before it drains your essence out of you. Hoping for a Fair Treatment isnt going to save you. Yep, happend to me as well..
@wl6279
@wl6279 3 жыл бұрын
her opening statement is very true. Bad co workers are always on the lookout to set you up. This is how you know who at work you can trust(to a certain extent) versus who you can't trust. Today a co worker called out another bus driver for turning in front of her, yet she wasn't trying to slow down like she was suppose to for the other school bus driver. This type of unnecessary behavior on her part shows lack of courtesy and understanding. Especially when the other driver did not intend on turning in front of her when he did. But circumstances deemed it necessary, like already being partially in the road but had to stop because of a speeding vehicle coming from the opposite direction. If she was paying attention she would have seen this. Nevertheless, an apology was made over the radio, yet she came back with more attitude, and threatening the male driver not to do it again. nonetheless, the male driver didn't have to say another word after that lol. case closed. Sometimes you have to let bad co workers bury themselves.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.
@ammiller3911
@ammiller3911 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks I needed the pep talk
@keith536
@keith536 3 жыл бұрын
4... I have setup someone that constantly takes my ideas, with really shitty ideas. Once they get called out by the boss, on how unworkable that is, they will stop stealing your ideas fast.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
😁 i love that approach. you just cut the supply right from under them (while dishing out a neat little punishment, that they actually called out over their own heads by stealing your ideas in the first place). love this !
@elegantz1779
@elegantz1779 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jennifer, it's very hard sometimes being the only black woman on my team who doesn't mind speaking up. Some stereotypes might not be in my favor, although I am essentially being provoked.....
@samguy7209
@samguy7209 2 жыл бұрын
Its better to ignore a difficult person as much as possible but still be responsive for work purposes. I remember I had a very difficult co worker during my internship. I always had to walk on eggshells around her and its good that I am gay and not straight because she would've accused me of s*x misconduct or harassment. However, she did tried to accused me of making the workplace a hostile environment but no one, my manager, her new manager (she transferred to a diff team), or any other co worker besides the other bad co worker would support her claim so she had to withdraw her grievance file to HR. I remained stoic when interacting with her and always try to redirect her to someone else (within reason ofc) My advice to everyone is to never react but keep records for yourself. Also, its good to be on good terms with other staff members so they can support you.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
@lindamarchant4294
@lindamarchant4294 Жыл бұрын
I've worked in many a hell hole environment...Seriously I still don't know what the answer is....If somebody has it out for you...doubtful you'll win....I've heard often " do your job and go home"....good in theory, but in reality, if another person or persons are dumping on you and you have to pick up their slack because the "work" still has to get done...ya...it gets frustrating and overwhelming when no one addresses it....But eventually ( you may not be still working there) it will come out who the problem is....I've seen it happen a million times...and I have been rewarded in so many Godly ways....I would say always be true to yourself and your integrity!
@whodispuresouls7758
@whodispuresouls7758 3 жыл бұрын
Too late, Blackballed, mob group co-workers, nothing done with cameras, no H.R. Assist., 4 bosses pulling you in the office while the guilty party are looking from outside.😼😼😼😳my resume is fried now..😡
@bloucloud
@bloucloud 2 ай бұрын
I started bedside nursing over a year and a half ago, and some people still hold me to all the things I didn't know & how I worked the first couple months on the job as a new grad. You worded everything sooo perfectly. How dare they be so merciless when I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and equal respect? I reacted a few times, but have stopped, because it's true they will also hold your reactions against you. The worst part is when they treat some people great but others poorly so not everyone sees how they are deep down. Self worth can be really hard to keep especially on the hard days. Although I wish they would get fired or quit sometimes, I know that all I can control is myself and how I react. Sooo hard but I am taking it as a life lesson to practice to find my peace in the face of anger. I pray for everyone out there who is getting treated as inferior.
@mandlin4602
@mandlin4602 2 жыл бұрын
I’m dealing with someone who undermines me and is taking credit for my work, and stealing a project from me. I’m hoping to god my manager can see it, the person on this before me left the project. I’m thinking the same happened to them…. It’s wearing me down big time now.
@Streetwise3690
@Streetwise3690 Жыл бұрын
Simply defending yourself isn't wrong, over-reacting is the problem
@marisolurena5988
@marisolurena5988 2 жыл бұрын
Im being promoted thanks to your advise and content :)
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 2 жыл бұрын
Yay!! Congrats, Marisol! 🥂
@marvelmusic4566
@marvelmusic4566 Жыл бұрын
My toxic boss & his toxic co-worker / friend thought they'd treat me like trash. So I took the trash out. I resigned. There are better work conditions out there. I'm going to see if I can find one. Because here's what you're not saying: STRESS KILLS. Only you can decided what is acceptable to have in your life.
@s.g2344
@s.g2344 Жыл бұрын
I've learnt my lesson and I reacted to a horrible collegue last year (I never loose my temper btw) and it was the first time in 8 years but the person was just a horrible and mean spirited and would gladly throw her collegues under the bus 🙄. Unfortunately one day she pushed me way too far and i reacted and yeah she went running to management and got me in trouble which made me even angrier 😅. Basically I've learnt to walk away from situations as it's not worth it. I now keep a stress ball in my pocket for these situations lol.
@GoldenAngel-
@GoldenAngel- Ай бұрын
I currently work with someone higher then me , those days she been very upset even angry One day I calmly told her please don't yell at me Of course , she had to justify why she yelled at me , no excuse on her part I understand what she meant but she could have been more nicer then react in anger Since that day , I set the bar how she reacts When she overreacts etc She does acknowledge her behavior I'm telling you since I stood up for myself that day It indirectly telling her not to disrespect her coworkers Now if she behaves like that I mute that behavior even if I see and hear it I just be the better person and move on 😊
@user-bn4ov9sp5s
@user-bn4ov9sp5s 2 жыл бұрын
Stocisim helped me out alot when dealing with lousers....
@sbrecke1507
@sbrecke1507 3 жыл бұрын
Thankyou Jennifer for all the great advice. It's important to know how to handle these situations at work, considering how much time we have to invest. We spend more time at work than we do with our families ☹️
@Ninastarr
@Ninastarr 2 жыл бұрын
There was an incident earlier where my coworker said something rude and i was so ready to tell her off,however, i tried holding my tongue. The only thing with that is we both stood there staring at each other because im pretty sure she expected me to react. Regardless,it got very awkward and uncomfortable lol...it actually felt like those staring contests u have when u were a kid...this happened about an hour ago and im still seething about what she said...and im debating on how to proceed or IF I wanna do anything about it at all
@morethanamess1980
@morethanamess1980 3 жыл бұрын
So basically this sounds very similar to handling being around an antagonizing sibling/relative
@JenniferBrick
@JenniferBrick 3 жыл бұрын
Same dynamics. We're dealing with psychology and power in both situations.
@AmberCanaan727
@AmberCanaan727 Жыл бұрын
I think there is a way to not allow people to walk all over you while not reacting emotionally.
@AK-bm2qt
@AK-bm2qt Жыл бұрын
As an empath, it is very sad for me to see that evilness usually wins , some people in leadership positions tend to listen or side with loud, toxic whiners...i've seen it over and over at my job, people who are truly compassionate with good heart are seen as weak.... It's very unfortunate, bad behaviors are encouraged at very early in childhood
@spuriustadius5034
@spuriustadius5034 2 жыл бұрын
Often this kind of behavior happens on email. Some people have figured out to use the "CC" line as a weapon when they don't immediately get what they want. You could be responding to an email thread and mention something that, all of a sudden, prompts the local sociopath to respond and dump half-a-dozen "VIP's" on the CC line. None of these people, usually, care what's being discussed but they've now been "recruited" as an "audience" for the sociopath to perform his monologue. In my case it's usually something about needing to "expedite" a "hot" order because of a "customer sat" issue-- in reality it's just about the sociopath meeting his short-term KPI's at my expense and at the expense of product quality.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 ай бұрын
Well, at times that strategy does blow up in their own faces. I had an idiot coworker reply to me with the whole top management in cc, telling me to do his work. He actually didnt seem to grasp that he told/ documented to his bosses he point blank refused (!) to do his own work (for a project that would make top management look very very foolish if not correctly completed in time ...) I politely replied to all 😃, since he already had set the tone, pointing out (correctly) that he alone had access to the info... So if we didnt get it, the project could not be completed (with all his top bosses still in cc, naturally). Still get a smile from it years later. He very politely gave me all the info the very next day...
@alleynejoelle
@alleynejoelle 10 ай бұрын
OMG I once had a very difficult co-worker named Patty! She even straight up called me a bitch one time, when no one else was around so there were no witnesses. Good ol Patty! I needed the advice of this video, THANK YOU
@yelenazelichenko7475
@yelenazelichenko7475 2 жыл бұрын
I had to walk away from my job to stay away from that situations. I was strong for almost 1 year.
@Anna-jw2qq
@Anna-jw2qq Ай бұрын
Good job. I am on my way out as well.
@readysetno8853
@readysetno8853 Жыл бұрын
I agree with another commentor that it enables bullying behavior. I had this happen to me. I work in a toxic work environment with A LOT of narcissists. I took the high rode and this behavior kept following me with different coworker that found out what happened because people gossip. The last incident I reported to several people then told someone I knew has a big mouth so they can spread it and then the person finally stopped. I did the right thing but I didn’t get my hands dirty.
@AnthonyManzio
@AnthonyManzio Жыл бұрын
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life..........
@lauriek3260
@lauriek3260 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jennifer for all these great videos that you are creating and helping us when we needed it the most. Keep up the awesome work!
@heatherchannelgetoutside
@heatherchannelgetoutside 9 ай бұрын
great advice, I completely agree, I've taught myself to go silent instead of reacting...your own mood can interfere with a good reaction or response so ya go silent until u can have a good response
@autumnbruno5287
@autumnbruno5287 2 жыл бұрын
My manger came at me with full loud aggression, there’s so much she’s done that isn’t okay she’s pure toxic. I’ve been ignoring and being by myself so hard and she still tried to one up me like she wants to get in a fight at work while im working.
@PerrySkyePhoenix
@PerrySkyePhoenix 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds familiar
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