Can Mikel Arteta Mastermind Win Over Pep Guardiola?

[@celtic69]

can’t believe these 2 have got about 17 podcasts between them and neither have launched a spin off called The Nipple Effect yet. Suggestion for the first episode: how Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl performance led to Chelsea winning the 2021 UCL final

[@_mcslash]

From wardrobe malfunctions to warchest malfunctions.

[@celtic69]

@@_mcslash this competition is over, give this man the $10,000

[@tylersheehan-ford4047]

The Jaffn Extended Universe - or JEU if you will

[@SeanMcCabe-wk3ke]

Can’t help but feel that Flav saying he’d hate to play against Welbeck implies there’s forwards he believes he could pocket. Elaborate

[@oliverwarner4984]

I thought Carlton Palmer was Flav doing the classic dad move of mispronouncing footballer names

[@fantasypgatour]

My hometown was Stockport, I will tell you every one in that town knows Carlton Palmer and they hate him, to the point one of the last time's I was there the headline of the Manchester Evening News was "Carlton Palmer voted most hated man in Stockport".

[@_mcslash]

@@fantasypgatour Flav: "what do you like more than Carlton Palmer?" Stockport: "Everything"

[@kurtsudheim825]

That's effectively what james said people thought

[@NotApplicableJB]

I just want to say thank you to you both. My channel just hit 100k subs and I wouldn't have even started it had it not been for this pod. James you were my initial inspiration, and I still see your content as what I one day aspire to make withing my niche. Yours and Flavs advice through FLAMES set me on this path when I wrote in and Flav told me just to do it and start a making content. Your push was what I needed to finally start my channel and I cannot thank either of you enough. Sandwich.

[@_mcslash]

@@NotApplicableJB congratulations, mate that's a massive achievement! Be sure to make time to self-bum and celebrate appropriately. You deserve it. ♥️

[@JamesLawrenceAllcott]

Congratulations pal!!!! All your hard work though clearly x

[@zafor919]

Congratulations on the new breakdown show with the premier league i hope it goes well for you James. ❤❤

[@MickFrank1992]

The podcast an the comment section is now just shameless advertising for other things with some pasta chat thrown in to keep the sheep coming back

[@ManicBeans]

what a blueballs on that jacket Jim, show us the bleddy jacket!

[@kurtsudheim825]

He's such a tease, building the suspense, like he needs the views

[@zac_wilson_]

This podcast - and specifically 'clothes off pooers' - actually led to a breakthrough in one of my friendships. Let me explain. I worked with a guy for 8 years who would only poo in his home toilet and would NEVER poo in public. Let's just comprehend what that means for a second. This guy designed his life, biological clock, schedule, diet and social interactions around the fact that he needs to poo at home. He had never poo'd in a public toilet of any description since the age of around 7. We assumed that something traumatic must have happened to him. Weirdly, despite his odd habit of only pooing at home it was accepted by everyone and seen as just something that he did. 'That's just Dan', we thought. Anyway. It was upon listening to clothes off pooers that I had an epiphany. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe the reason he never poo'd in public was because he was a clothes off pooer. Maybe he found the act of removing all of his clothes pre-poo so ridiculous and inconvenient that he decided it just wasn't worth the effort. We always had to wear suits to work, so this made complete sense. Undoing shirt buttons, taking off tight trousers and removing a suit is no easy feat when the urge strikes. Everything suddenly made sense to me. Remembering some of the ridicule that we had given him, and his responses - everything was leaning towards him being a clothes off pooer. Gotcha, I thought. So I challenged him. I presented my theory to him as though it was fact, and didn't ask him but instead told him that he was a clothes off pooer and that I finally knew why he never poo'd in public. I didn't want to give him any reason to deny it, hence why I didn't pose it as a question but instead as statement. To further try and coax it out of him, I even said that I now totally understand - and that it makes complete sense. I figured if i normalised it and showed some empathy, he would come clean. As the conversation reaches a climax I inspect his face closely for any clues as to whether my theory is correct or not - I am quietly ecstatic that I have finally solved the mystery, thinking about the moment that I reveal to everyone else in the office that I am the person who managed to crack the case. Turns out, he's not a clothes off pooer. He is just a fucking odd guy.

[@TristanSpow]

Not reading allat lil bro

[@sandycultofthesun]

lmfao, poor dude "they harassed me about pooing again honey"

[@Leon-ii3db]

@@TristanSpowyou don’t belong here

[@Jimbobiscuit]

I worked with a guy like that too. He was very normal otherwise

[@zac_wilson_]

@@Jimbobiscuit oh he was one of the most popular guys in the office. Completely normal otherwise, lovely guy 😂

[@bcat845]

All this movie talk is good, but I don't think I can fully respect Flav or Hancock until they denounce these nonsense Marvel films.

[@andyroodaboss9706]

Some of them are fun it’s not that serious

[@jp1731]

A lot of them are samey, gotg are pretty good though

[@toinki21]

Now that James is working with the premier league maybe we can finally get some better guests than this Flav guy.

[@BaggyCreature49]

The guy he had on last week was quite good. Looked a lot like flav though.

[@celtic69]

can’t wait to have a distinguished guest with a moustache who goes my Mr Valf

[@Butterfliesandzebras]

Flav's not been the same since his gammon turn

[@Sammmgill]

Stephen Tries Roleplay of Flav, we know he practices his flavell vape pulls. Now lets see them

[@danielcooper3868]

Would rather listen to Flav than anyone the Premier League has ever had. I’m a Flav loyalist. Flav til I die

[@Eric17798]

Guys please please please post this to the podcast feed, I want to listen while I’m working

[@PoliAstroN]

Talksport.. uegh. Sends shivers down my spine

[@_mcslash]

Shout out to the big dog Tanveer (bark bark). Loved "testing tanveer" and he will forever be a 2-dimensional amalgamation of all the drawings people sent in trying to guess what he looked like. Classic OFtW. Also, return of stat nuggets/twinkles?

[@dan74553]

BIG DAWWWGG WOOF WOOF. Never forget his morally questionable courting techniques. Bring him back on boys?

[@BenBowman_]

TalkSport actually messaged me but I said let Flav have a go

[@ajritson]

For me Hancock's hot take wasn't a good one but definitely a hot take. It angered me because Blade Runner (the director's cut) is my top 5 films of all time and the sequel didn't manage to live up to the original, what with it's countless long boring shots of empty scene-scapes and forced-nostalgia cameo appearances by original cast members. In regards to Citizen Kane, that's not a bad shout, it ushered a lot of new techniques in film production and I think most people hang on to that, but it's had it's time.

[@melwinhelin202]

As a Martin Scorsese fan I cannot stand for this slander from Flav. He is very not a one dimensional director, quite the opposite. Gangster movies, twist thrillers, quiet religious films such as Silence (2016) one of his best ever in my opinion and romances and also consert-films. He should continue to make as many more movies he can for he is still great, killers of the flower moon being proof of that. Flavs chatting shit. Educate yourself. Grow up.

[@olliehall5737]

Allan Saint Maximim surely the absolute pinnacle of ‘modern day Barclaysman.’

[@chrisleary3883]

Only the era where he wore a Gucci headband with the brand showing 😂

[@oj7803]

Having a rough week and this pod has really cheered me up when i need it most, cheers lads

[@bannnnner]

Question is: How do you describe how big a pizza is? Me and my mates had a full day argument about how. Friend #1 described the size by flying his two index fingers in an imaginary circle in the air. Friend #2 held his full arms in a circle (like arms around someone waist when you hug) , and I would use only hands creating a circle and once the hands seperate then they act as brackets - letting the brain imagine the size. A good weekend wasted debating that

[@flintafus2527]

I completely lost it at the description of the first two methods. Insanity

[@sandycultofthesun]

bracket hands surely, arm circle and finger waving is pure degeneracy

[@kurtsudheim825]

Arms, friend 2, normal large pizza is 30cm, roughly the length of most adult male forearms

[@kurtsudheim825]

Of dirty, I misunderstood & thought you meant measurement, as in like how to, not showing size okay ya, then you use your thumb & fingers make a semi circle by separating them, then use each hand apart to show

[@stephenmackle7498]

That Blade Runner take is ridiculous.

[@aroski]

The bit about a group forming outside the toilet of a guy pooing with his top still on had me in stitches

[@oufc90]

Getting a pizza is the ideal on takeaway for yourself only. 1. As discussed, you have 1 pizza to yourself. 2. There’s no washing up needed after

[@ollyhoward2780]

Huge fan of 'The S*** Chapter', I must say. I am, too, a clothes-off pooer - I feel embarrassed to wear my 2022/23 Inter Milan Third Kit in public due to a suspicious murky stain on the bottom part of its back. Shame really, I love(d) that shirt. I presume it was on the upstroke of my wipe. Since then, I always take my shirt off, public or private, and haven't looked back. Up the Slugs.

[@Jord97x]

Really enjoyed Flav as this weeks guest, great work.

[@SPEEDSHOTZz]

I rate Flav, and I'm an Arsenal fan

[@readventurekids]

I hate Flav, and I'm an Arsenal fan too. I had to edit this as I couldn't bear to think anyone thought I was serious. I also rate Flav.

[@robreid5229]

Flav's accidental pizza take that he both doesn't believe and had no recollection of is the 'sandwich' for the post-Jim getting incredibly successful JAFFN viewer

[@seanplace2471]

Gomis - there’s nothing more Barclays than a striker unfamiliar with the offside rule. Miss him at Swansea and would have him back in a heartbeat if only to see his long hair, lovely smile, and killer celebration just one more time

[@danielsalter2106]

15:13 Set Piece coach with Villa is also class.

[@wehavethemegapixels]

Jim with strong “I prefer a flan” energy while Flav’s taking about his pie

[@MaLesner]

Lovely shoutout for the big dog this week, we miss the big dog on the ones and twos *aggressively barks in my living room*

[@TTB960]

Makes sense that Flav is on talksport, he waffles absolute rubbish 😂

[@l...m9415]

less of that thank you

[@5678hgvhjkjnbnm]

Then why listen? Sadact

[@TTB960]

@@5678hgvhjkjnbnmDidn’t say he wasn’t entertaining, you mug… can just tell you’re lonely 😂

[@TTB960]

@@5678hgvhjkjnbnmgrow up, never said he wasn’t entertaining 😂

[@UCNTZ]

Welcome to the jaffn podcast

[@alexcoyg3281]

Best podcast by a mile, wish there was 7 episodes a day

[@calum9947]

1:09:11 was busy cooking and had this on in the background. Looked round at this moment and was somewhat shocked at Flav's apparently excited response to the mention of lurking in the corner. Took a few seconds to work out what was going on

[@GoonerDejv]

He most definately said it, even remember the thought ”that sounds out of character no?” Galloping through my mind

[@IMOReviews]

One for Hancock if he sees this. After hearing Seymour Hoffman is his favourite actor (I agree!) I’d love to hear his thoughts on Synecdoche New York. Stayed with me for days after watching.

[@max-beckett]

Biggest fever dream of a movie

[@JackHancock03]

Yet to see it, it’s on my list of films I’m planning on watching very soon!

[@gringosdarr]

Thought that was great when I first saw it though overbearingly grim. Feel like I might hate it second time around though

[@edwardbaker9657]

My old flatmate used to order a domino's pizza and a tub of Ben and Jerry's every day when I lived in manchester. This went on for at least a year. Sometimes he'd vary one pizza a day, sometimes he'd have a breakfast and tea time pizza and on a particularly heavy day he'd get 2 pizzas and a tub of iced cream. Being slobs and bad at cleaning we'd regularly have pizza box towers stacked around the flat. It was that bad that if I ever ordered one or went down to the driver to get it for him the driver would genuinely ask "where is Mr andrew best customer in all of Manchester". I'd love to say this was a student story but we were both in our late 20s. Surprisingly he's not even particularly heavy for the diet he lived

[@zubish01]

As a man with impeccable and uncanny levels of emotional intelligence, felt that the boys didn’t have their heads in the game on this one. Felt rushed. Lots of sideways passing and stale possession, with no tangible threat of penetration. I’ll leave it this time cause Jim did just feature on the Premier League channel (and maybe it’s gone to his head), but I expect better next week. 5/10. Up the slugs.

[@CameronWhelan-xl7iv]

Welbeck definitely underrated. Was devastated when Van Gaal sold him. He’s got a bit of everything. Glad he’s gone onto have such a good career.

[@tonicdb]

I loved him at Arsenal good player when fit!

[@tompole7917]

How have we gone from buffet chat, home wins and the joy of Roy to ‘Is Carlton Palmer better than’ and some bloke watching 20 year old films for the first time?

[@Dan_Hughes90]

Watching 16 mins of a typical James tactics board like I’ve wandered into the wrong podcast

[@josiahchudleigh6801]

Jim calling Dean Ashton, 'Deano' is an elite power move

[@Harry_Pitman]

With the comment of using the toilet at football, we were at milwall away last year, my friend (who had a heavy previous night) was drinking again on the day, at half time he’s gone to use the loos, about 20 minutes later we wonder where he went, then after about 40 minutes he arrives back and told us he fell asleep on the toilet, so not only he went for a poo he also fell asleep whilst using a football toilet

[@DrSpasticat]

Would love to hear what he thinks about Uncut Gems, everyone hyped it up and it was bang average

[@FoxtrotBravoRomeo]

51:28 oh that was painful to watch 😂😂😂😂

[@charliewilliams6074]

Inject it into my veins

[@FKD-ki9vk]

I watched the Irishman three times the week it came out. It’s my favourite of his films.

[@B4kerG]

Jay you give me warm vibes. Lovely football man and terribly handsome

[@four_swords]

My ‘I’m out’ moment in films (warning: this can’t be unheard) EVERY phone number in a US-made film has 555 in the middle

[@haydensalter8577]

I used to listen to this podcast for enjoyment but in recent weeks, mostly due to food chat, all I have been feeling is shame. I am someone who commonly enjoys multiple packets of crisps a day and i have never thought anything of it but now i am much more conservative. Furthermore I also enjoy an ice cream quite commonly, sometimes i have even been known to eat two of those a day but after hearing Flav shame me for not having a time gap of 6 months between freezer visits all i can feel is shame anytime i think of an ice cream. I am a common gym goer so i thought this excused the frequent snacking, however i feel that if i maintain this behaviour i won't feel welcome in the JAFFN community.

[@harryharvey8158]

hi hayden mate, as a man equally impartial to a frozen dairy treat, id just like to tell you that youre not alone in your struggle. me and a couple of the lads have started up a biweekly ‘JAFFN Survivors’ support group, feel free to pop in whenever pal ❤️

[@Rob_W_96]

Can we have an annual big dog update on the pod please - I wanna know what shenanigans he’s been up to

[@CrossxFir3]

So here’s my thing, totally with you on the eze thing. But I remember we a game against derby when Rooney was there and Utd was up 3-0 or something. Rooney takes a beautiful fk that romaro saved. A spectacular save. Genuinely class. I honestly think most keepers fail to save that. Utd fans collectively agree he probably should’ve just let Rooney have that one.

[@JoshPhilp]

I'd say Jhon Duran is a modern-day barclaysman

[@Maxbrookes]

Yes! Was thinking this when the topic came up , but then they mentioned welbz and I'd say fair enough

[@chrisleary3883]

Not enough caps. Ross Barkley is up there though .

[@robd8576]

Not sure how i feel about Jim using his new Jacket as a cliff hanger like he doesnt trust us to come back.

[@GenericZac]

Chicken and leek pie is extremely underrated and my go to choice of pie for dinner, close second will be chicken and mushroom pie.

[@SirNickyT]

Go look at Haalands numbers vs Saliba and Gabriel. They seem like they almost have to be typos. I feel like he's going to be extra motivated to score because those 2 absolutely locked him down in 3 meetings last year.

[@samuelhuf1]

The solskjaer van der beek pencil bum gag was one of my first laugh out loud bits. The pinnacle of "what has donny done to ole" series of bits, trying to work out why ole wouldn't play donny. I honestly think donny's career at Man U was killed off at that point

[@alexab543]

No, but the Paella Pulis can shithouse a mind-numbingly boring draw

[@scotthunter887]

Currently trying to watch punch-drunk love 40 mins in what the hell is this film it’s giving me a headache 😂

[@AnthonyCoyne90]

Just jumped over to the premier league video, didnt know you were on it or i wouldnt of watched it lol. We need your face in the thumbnail so we know 😂

[@CallumWith2Ls]

Flav and Jim would be brilliant on Top Gear

[@mjbarber771]

The Cole Palmer/Carlton Palmer comment was mine, if it makes you feel better James im actually a 38 y/o Aussie who didnt really have access to the EPL till the 2000's.

[@santiago-cb9lf]

Did these guys watch the arsenal games vs city last season??? Haaland bullying Saliba and Gabriel. Be serious

[@bcat845]

Just a couple of 5*'s for Hancock to brew over: - Requiem for a dream - The prestige - Stalker - Dead man's shoes

[@celtic69]

i watched the prestige for the first time this week, incredible film, you never hear it mentioned amongst Nolan’s best work but I’d put it top 3

[@manavsandhu584]

Throwing in a bit of Tarkovsky? I like it

[@emilevangheem6165]

@@celtic69 huge Nolan fan and that’s my favourite of his

[@morgan3714]

Requiem for a dream is like a 3*

[@Clayts]

Hair / hairline is looking absolutely resplendent- this length is the one

[@edwardbaker9657]

Jaffn sponsorship deal with guinness incoming. Next weeks episode will kick in with horns as flav and jimbo cheer on some racing snails, sipping a creamy stout

[@MattRobson1]

Jack Hancock: Just watched Punch Drunk Love for the first time - good film, not greatest ever! Thanks.

[@scotthunter887]

Trying to watch it, it’s awful genuinely one of the worst films I’ve ever watched

[@MadMike_222]

New bit… “Tell me what Hancock does?”

[@MadMike_222]

I’ll go first… “he sells pirate dvd’s at the back of a ford escort eclipse at fleet services, but under no circumstances will he bring himself to sell the overrated film that is Jaws!”

[@JackHancock03]

@@MadMike_222I have standards, I simply will not sell overrated films

[@MadMike_222]

@@JackHancock03 multiple copies of oceans 11/12 but not a single copy of 13 insight!

[@JackHancock03]

@@MadMike_222 purely out of spite

[@MadMike_222]

@@JackHancock03 newer bit, what dvd’s does Hancock throw away out of pure spite? 😂

[@gingetomassi8153]

Philip Seymour Hoffman as your favourite actor is a very normie film bro who just got super into films in the last couple of years choice.

[@xisckillerx7578]

This is 100% the vibe I get from the takes over the last month or so. It's rare to find any part of Jaffn i dislike but I get so disinterested hearing very mild takes said by every film student just get agreed with. "Citizen Kane is overrated and the bladerunner sequel is better" been said a billion times.

[@shawnchong8468]

It is really uncanny of Mikel Arteta not to address the lack of depth and numbers in their midfield squad. He allowed Vieira to go out on loan and not signing any replacement during the summer transfer window. Mikel should know more than anyone else that any long-term injury to Martin Odagaard without an abled deputy is going to dent their title hopes. They have all summer to make another required signing in midfield. Yet, nothing was done.

[@aroski]

Next week flav will be adamant that he eats an ice cream every week and absolutely never said it’s a food you eat once in 6 months

[@andrewrutherford9255]

"you cant be expected to go about your day when theres a magnum in the fridge" hahahaha

[@classicdansmith]

I also genuinely thought you were talking about Cole Palmer this whole time

[@19Paul91]

Yeah all these weeks I thought they were saying Cole Palmer!

[@FuturisticStuff]

I’m only a clothes off pooer when I have an exorcism level poo and the sweats have taken hold - maybe 2-3 times a year but its feels completely necessary when it strikes

[@bannnnner]

Im out moment: In Tom Cruise's War of The Worlds...when his son runs towards the aliens over the hill, subsequently the hill explodes, BUT come the end, Cruise returns to a disgusting happy family reunion including Son 🤮

[@shanelynch1999]

Modern day Barclaysman follow up: Firstly Jim, I was watching the podcast with my headphones on. When you said my name on the pod I turned to my Fiancé with a look of child like innocence and wonder that she could not believe. She could not grasp the gravitas of the situation which has made me question our long term future. To more important things, while Eze may currently be Barclaysman material, when we look back on his career he will have outgrown this level. Emile Smith Rowe i see as the reverse. Someone who had the chance to be a level above but will now never again move beyond Barclaysman material. To which I pose the question: Who else had the opportunity to be an elite player but ended up becoming Barclaysman material. Steven Ireland would be my example. Sorry for the essay

[@celtic69]

did you just forget Vardy?

[@thomasjohnson8033]

What t-shirt is James wearing?

[@joshking-cox3222]

Can we please now refer to all scissor kicks (and possibly extended to all acrobatic volleys) as season tickets?

[@Maxbrookes]

I'd replace smith rowe with soucek and adama out for mcginn with the modern day barclaysmen

[@eyupgolf8271]

Clothes off pooer segment was fantastic I have a mate who does exactly that I also have a mate who can't poo in public as it's a necessity that after he poos he must take a shower instantly Discuss

[@owenmartin2014]

I'm sorry "caught with a pizza or mastubasting?" 😂😂😂😂 I LOVE THIS FOOTBALL PODCAST

[@danielgarside8173]

Blaze Kick? did Flav just drop a Pokémon move in there?

[@jonathansmith1547]

Surely that bit has legs Things that are less/more/same level of shame as getting caught masterbabating that really shouldn't be Pushing a pull door or vice versa Tripping over nothing like pavement or grass etc

[@itsonlyjoecollins]

Chief definitely interchangeable with Boss

[@RoryMartin_]

Flav gas lighting us all episode about his pizza take then proceeding to do Simone biles level mental gymnastics to try and deny it when shown proof is jaffn heritage 👏

[@gtr5973]

It’s as if nobody actually watched the Arsenal v City games last year. Two Arsenal clean sheets and Haaland could do nothing against the Arsenal backline.

[@jamie7357]

just checking in - shout out big dog 🔥

[@connorgallagher8892]

To add to the sh** chapter, I only drop the logs off fully clothes off because I’ll get a shower straight after to feel more clean

[@kempyj98]

Figueroa was peak barclays

[@samuelhuf1]

Go to a greene king pub flav, they'll serve you some good food

[@UCNTZ]

Big weekend this week, lewes fc vs hashtag down at the dripping pan

[@chrisfromtheuk.]

I've seen 1,743 and only rated 15 films as 5 stars.

[@BaggyCreature49]

Predictions: flav will probably try and act like arsenal are embarrassing because they sat back and countered them (tactically outclassed ange quite easily) he will also say that timber should have been sent off even tho it wasn’t even a foul. And finally he will say his big hard world class centre half was fouled when Gabriel gave him a little push for the goal. Edit: i was wrong. I may have underestimated flav. He seems to have accepted spurs are just wank compared to arsenal.

[@celtic69]

and flav would be 100% right on every single point

[@savvasyolo4712]

@@celtic69 yes timber should have been sent off for getting the ball and some rat face running up his face

[@celtic69]

@@savvasyolo4712 glad we agree

[@BaggyCreature49]

@@celtic69 not even gonna bite. But I want you to know you’ve really pissed me off.

[@celtic69]

@@BaggyCreature49 my work here is done

[@jodiemeaton806]

56:30 this is not limited to men absolutely love a kick of a rock

[@5678hgvhjkjnbnm]

Flav mentioning Arsenal being stoke 2.0 like its unheard of? Tony Pulis must have a hard on every time they play! Just waiting to see a meme with pulis in the clouds and arteta saying 'how am i doing boss?'

[@andrewreeves6198]

Flav being offended by the pizza thing is great

[@BestBoyPatrick]

Matt Bradbury don’t you worry. You’re not alone. It’s the same for me. The feeling of wearing a top whilst I’m shitting is restrictive and uncomfortable. It must come off. I won’t be ashamed. We won’t be silenced.

[@SirMonkeySuit]

Clothes off Poo chat: What do these people do if they have to curl one out in a public toilet like a pub? Do they really get it all off in pub? That's mad 😂

[@ashtheash5695]

Flav puts icecream in the fridge pass it on

[@MattRobson1]

You did say it Flav

[@LLJHoward]

53:15 Next episode: Flav - “I regularly have more than one ice cream a day”