Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why

[@lessmore444]

I came to this understanding on my own without even knowing the term or the root cause Being captivated by my own imagination & the idea of what someone could represent rather than the actual person themselves. Separating from my own propensity for fantasy was the next logical step. This is the fist time I’ve heard someone explain it in clear terms that affirm what i naturally learned through self observation. Thanks.

[@scrappyny7432]

Yup this is me. All my life I've lived in my head fantasizing relationships with women I'm infatuated with. It's refreshing to hear this is a problem and the term break up with the fantasizing part feels liberating. Thanks for that!

[@jpurvis1]

Sarah, I have luckily been found by the real woman of my dreams, and we have real attraction, respect and love (that we show each other through actions) and are so glad we met each other, when both of us we on the "never again" path coming out of previous deteriorated relationships. I hope everyone in these comments and following you finds their "person" like I (we) have!! Great video, and love your content!

[@christopherbuckley7544]

Well it's nice to know at 60 that all this time I've been deluding myself, I've been trying to figure out if I've been deluding myself or not, only to find out (some years ago) that I WAS deluding myself, and finally figured out how and why I was deluding myself, as a result of deluding myself while trying to figure out if I was deluding myself, while I was deluding myself. THAT makes sense !!! No wonder they all avoided me ;)

[@JedEkert]

LOL, you're killing me. I like it.

[@hookalakah]

Talking with an older woman friend of mine, a singer, about musicians with drug problems, and she delivered this self assessment: "Love is my drug. Always has been, always will be."

[@martinsaunders7925]

There are those that feel a need for a partner. This is their path. It's boundaries encompass those of a partner. Then there are those whose boundaries are narrower,the destination more focused and neither blurred,nor obscured by one.

[@v.cotoiu3568]

i wish YT existed 30 years ago. perhaps I would be miles ahead today.

[@blindonion]

Sarah, this was exactly what I needed to learn! Thank you for your insights.

[@michaelmarusic8499]

👍🏻I do this all the time, but replace the word women with cars…

[@JedEkert]

I want to give props and kudos to SDM for this one before my pithy metaphor. My younger self acknowledges this assessment. My current self compares most present day relationships with the wise words of a renowned Klingon Commander, "Only a fool fights in a burning house."

[@nophdcoyote3635]

Just about that moment, the timing seemed so right. You appeared like a vision sent down to my life.🎶

[@stevevanleeuwen8815]

Well Sarah, once again you have told the story of my life... one devastating crush after another, bad relationships, etc. At the age of fifty-four I am mostly over it, but not in a healthy way. I've given up all hope of being with someone in a good relationship. I've wrecked enough womens lives... Been doing it since the moment of my conception!

[@mycanadianlifestyle]

Limerent is now in my spell check. meaning: obsessed.

[@charlesscholton5252]

You can get stuck in limerence for somebody at a distance, while blowing off opportunities with something real with them or somebody else.

[@haydenmossop5758]

Great girl 👧 ... I am in my room imagining a different life I am 50

[@mycanadianlifestyle]

Limerent?🤔 I like that you educate us with significant big words.

[@rjpolland6680]

So True, TY 😃

[@lmartinezlmartinez976]

Yes, we men know. Because we do idolize what we do find beautiful and perfect. But we are learning and the important thing here is that we are starting to learn how not to fall for this. Just remember. We did not start this. You did it with your immature attitude, selfishness, etc. So don't start saying that you cannot find a good man...... ohhh sorry. You already have.... you should have been more careful with what you wished for because you already got it.

[@GlenLake]

Good insights. How did you know about my parents fighting? lol I think there may also be something else at play here, mainly testosterone. As an older man, my drive is not what it was, don't tell anyone, intelligent and kind interactions with the fairer sex has taken priority over making the beast with two backs. But here is the thing, I have not resolved my childhood issues in the way that you speak. (OK, maybe I am more mature than I give myself credit for, thank you Sarah, you're very kind) I am theorizing that it is my diminished T levels that allows me to interact with women in a more hearts and minds less genital way. Which might mean that Testosterone plays a role in the idealization of women. Fantasy and young men go hand in hand (see what I did there?). From an evolutionary view this makes sense. How many babies would be made if men were able to see and understand all of a woman's faults, intents and the outcome of interacting with her, instantly? Yeah, probably still a lot, lol, but the fantasy element makes the drive turbo charged. And in a world filled with lions and storms and accidents, a turbo libido is a useful tool for population increase. Fantasy seems to be a tool our mind uses for many problems, it is deeply ingrained and perhaps inseperable from our mind. None of what I just wrote is meant to diminish your insights, they are also true. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. And for not rolling your eyes as I mansplained something that you probably know more about than I do. Wait, did you roll your eyes?

[@JohnDoe-xm9ql]

Absolutely correct....

[@davefengler4266]

You are describing my life!! At 61, I've been thru this cycle more times than I can count on 2 hands. I did finally get over a really bad one 3 years ago by deleting everything I had saved about her, which was a lot since I'm a digital hoarder. But I've had one at work for the past 4 years. She is aware and possibly interested, but I can never talk to her. I see her randomly a few times per day, some days more than others. Of course, I am much older and married. I always "want" someone 20-30 years younger. The common theme is they are "different" and probably damaged in some way. Mirroring myself. I need to "help" them, but I can't even help myself. There's a lot more to it, but the underlying cause is Childhood Emotional Neglect. I understand the cause, but ending it is much more difficult than most people can imagine. And, I am also an INTP, and a member of "Overthinkers" Anonymous". I know INTP's have problems like this. It's easier to live in a fantasy world when you don't like to interact with the real world.

[@tompurchase1170]

It's been over a decade now. I still see her about on the rare occasion, but I don't think she's coming back. No-one else really compares. Nothing has worked out since. Everything is getting on top of me. Nearly time to opt out.

[@michaelstock1463]

Nobody is that special to be worth giving up on life over. Just enjoy your life as much as you can, live for yourself and one day when you least expect it you'll meet someone else

[@tompurchase1170]

Working in the care sector for the last few years, so lots of hours and not much time for anything else. Should do some good before I expire! I've always felt that way, but she's the only person who made the world bearable.

[@michaelstock1463]

@tompurchase1170 fair enough but make some time for yourself too not just others

[@tompurchase1170]

Thanks mate. I'm mostly a hermit when I'm not at work. Only keep in contact with a couple of friends. I'm not great with relationships. Hope all's well on your end.

[@Sillywalks774]

I can relate because before the breakup I was in a intense love relationship. But do you really think out of billions of women you found your one soulmate and the others just don't fit? Very unlikely. Much more likely is that you could have a beautiful time with a lot of women and you are sabotaging yourself with these those thoughts. Please realize this even when your memory and emotions are screaming "She is the only one!!"

[@PeterLanella]

Sara I like your content on your channel thanks again for the great information and advice.

[@charlesscholton5252]

I can tell some people don't understand or can relate to the type of Limerence she is speaking about.

[@williamkrisbingham3110]

What does it mean whenever you've known somebody for 8 years you've seen her puke you've seen her look all sorts of different ways but whenever you go to video call after a week of just a few messages, they deny your video call multiple times and tell you that they their face looks ugly today and it's 8pm, denied my call even after I said I had important news... This was right after going down and spending three weeks at her house and whenever I go home she doesn't put any effort into talking to me, but says everything's fine I'm being too sensitive

[@KalinGanev]

Story of my life.

[@Ramonchis70]

😮 ... Gracias Sara ,

[@seedoftheson2404]

Does this apply to the hope of getting an ex wife back, ? Would it be regarded as fantasising? Like at what point do we give up and be like "Okay, that's it there's no way this is going to ever reconcile."

[@StrettonRutherford]

Thank you!!

[@coolnegative]

Wish I'd known this 30 years ago..........

[@charlesscholton5252]

Break up with the Fantasy and you might have a shot at the real thing.

[@Mahbublearn]

Hi Sarah Dawn Moore! I just watched your latest Video, and I really enjoyed it! Your content is so engaging and deserves a wider audience. If you're ever looking to boost your video visibility or improve your SEO strategy, I’d love to share some tips! Keep up the great work! 😊

[@gunnarstew]

But if this feeling has only been felt by one particular woman is it the same? I have never felt how I feel about this specific woman

[@michaelrodriguez3329]

Hard landing ir soft landing . ✈️

[@robert4travel]

Your observation might be true for damaged men, but for mentally healthy men, I don't think we fall that quickly. Oh sure, we find a woman nice and attractive (even might have a crush) and try to date and woo her very quickly, but then the process to get to really know her begins, and to see if she will be a good match. That can take many months. The main question is: are her positive traits much bigger than her negative traits? And if she is not a good match and we feel we need to break up, we move on very quickly. Even when she breaks up on us we don't get stuck on her. We have a way of rationalizing that she must not have been a good match at all, and after a few weeks to a month the love is gone and we move on. I speak from experience from myself and seeing this from my male friends. But keep up the good work on your videos! I like your insights and observations, even when I sometimes disagree with them from a male perspective when you try to explain men's behaviors. I love your female insights on how women think.

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

Sarah would agree with you. However you began your note as if she did not know this? That’s YOUR challenge right there. There are only two types of people - those who know they are traumatised, and those who don’t know they are traumatised. Your damage maybe smaller than some but your notes suggests that you have some work to do?

[@robert4travel]

@@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942 I don't understand the part "you began your note as if she did not know this"? I didn't assume that. I just made an observation of my own. Anyone can take it or leave it, or use it as food for discussion. And may I add a 3rd category to your "traumatized" and "don't know they are traumatized": "no longer traumatized because they resolved their issues". Everyone has issues, I certainly had issues in my past when I grew up, but I talked about them, I processed them, understand them and I am now a better man because of that. So no, I have no work to do. And I'm married for 20 years now so relationship wise I've been through some things and still happy.

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@robert4travel Therefore, logically, having resolved all your trauma, you are now perfect? 😂. Just saying……but no human is ever finished with this journey……the quote was from

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@robert4travel Human psyche is like an onion, it has many layers and we are a life journey to uncover and resolve those issues. Wisdom would prevent you from thinking you had reached perfection………. Your words gave away your inner thoughts. You could have phrased that opening statement in a different manner but your inner thoughts gave voice in the writing style you chose.

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@robert4travel Sarah has made it clear in this and many videos that she has a appreciation of the wide range of men in the world. That goes from seriously damaged (like Trump) to the Dalai Lama for example. (Or Gabor Mate - google him). Gabor admits to being very damaged and he admits at 82 yrs of age to still be struggling to heal. The same applies to women as well. When you date that this might apply to damaged men but not to healthy men, or words to that effect, you suggest that she has not considered the spectrum of men out there. You effectively mansplain to her that there are good men? This whole channel is based on the premise of there be8ng a spectrum and the aim is to get people to move from being damaged to less damaged. The mistake is you haven’t walked in Sarah’s shoes enough to understand her message, and that of sages and both male and female, throughout the ages, we are all on a journey. I have just tried to provide a mirror to your comment and hope you might see how it comes across.

[@seannotaro473]

It's called being a SIMP.. don't do it man, dont put her on a pedestal

[@richardrichard688]

Why does psychiatrists always say it's to do with childhood? My childhood was ok, my adult life on the other hand...

[@m2pozad]

Billable hours?

[@busterswordguy5844]

Wow this video made me light headed😮

[@ColdWarVet80]

That's all fine great and dandy But feminist have destroyed dating and marriage in 2024 It's over and done.

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

Rubbish - you the victim/child have kept yourself single……..

[@ColdWarVet80]

I'm not single So you know where you can take and put you're comments

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@ColdWarVet80 If you are married how come you know how dating works these days? That’s the basis of your SAD little claim that women. ( aka ‘feminists’) have changed? Being playing on the side have you? Sounds to me like you are temporarily married till your wife figures out you are a loser blaming everything on women……..take care and look in the mirror

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@ColdWarVet80 You are a sad loser who blames everyone else for troubles aka mythical feminists.

[@ibelieveinaccuracy.fact-ch5942]

@@ColdWarVet80 You are on this channel because you have trouble with women…..maybe you are looking for something on the side or your marriage is failed. Sarah gave you great advice that the problem is that guy in the mirror. He needs to grow up and mature.

[@MK-oz2lf]

This is what I have I believe and I want resolve this matter so I can start living more in reality like a real man. What are books that you recommend that address childhood trauma that cause limerence in the first place? Thanks.

[@richardgrr3]

blah blah, when it's right it falls in place. Just be and that woman will come to you in your situations. keep your eyes open , men.

[@JS-mw2nf]

Don't talk to me, I don't know how to speak I'm on a fifty year retarded streak So leave me alone, I never pick up my phone I hate it here and I want to find home i assume i feel limerance since the emotions are never returned