Candid Life Chat: Kids, Independence, Depression and My Marriage

This is just some thoughts and feelings I wanted to share. I filmed this while putting the lids on the Jello Shots I make in this video ( • Adult Party Rainbow La... . I talk about why I don't have kids, gaining my independence in my 30s, depression and my marriage.
Instagram: KandyFoxx
Twitter: KandyFoxx
Twitch: www.twitch.tv/KandyFoxx
Snapchat: SSBBWKandy

[@marieess3469]

More women should feel just fine not wanting kids. Women are conditioned to believe they should have them or else there's something ' wrong ' with them.

[@CannabrannaLammer]

Yes!! Not everyone should be parents. A lot of people suck at it!

[@ginnyr8711]

Wow, ur such an amazing person. U have a beautiful soul. Thanks for sharing ur heart, feelings, and thoughts. Have a great week

[@George_Tropicana]

When depression and anxiety take over your life stops. If you’ve not experienced it yourself or as a loved one of someone who experiences it it’s difficult to truly understand

[@tiffanyliu9841]

Man I can really relate to not feeling fully 'adult' yet

[@SbjsksmNx]

redpanda girlie in your photo you look 18!

[@tiffanyliu9841]

Fruit Gal 522 I'm half Asian so baby face is a thing. I'm 24.

[@TooHooWrong]

Tiffany Liu so relatable ugh I'm finally moving out of my parents home at 24

[@doodleartlover]

I have had depression and anxiety for approx 20 years now, so I get how you feel. I have to take meds or else I get super depressed and have panic attacks very frequently. I know what you mean about people who have not experienced depression just don't understand. I really enjoyed this video and I hope you'll do more of these 'chit-chat' style videos. Have a wonderful day! ☺✌

[@priyorannaghor9397]

doodleartlover what happens in panic attack plzz let me know

[@kimbasciano_]

I can relate so much to the whole “not being an adult” situation. I’m gonna be 30 in February and I need to finally grow up and take responsibility for myself. Thank you again for sharing part of your story with us, it definitely helped me.

[@Ac-ty8wp]

Kim Basciano yes me too. Im 32 in the same bedroom I grew up in as a child. I just broke up with my first and only love. I gave so much love and support, I was there so much for that person. All that energy I need to put into myself. I got to get myself together and learn to love me before bringing someone else in. Be well

[@joannoriol6444]

A lot of men listen when a woman talks, but they don't hear.

[@shesoverit2302]

Joann Oriol well said

[@nancyv276]

That's true 👍

[@stephanies7284]

I had my first child at 22 years old and my second at 27. They are now almost 10 and 5. At this stage in my life,I am honestly jealous of people that don't have kids. I would like to just get up and go do whatever I want without having to worry about two other humans lol. Sometimes I'm even jealous of my single friends. They go out more and are free without any attachments. I love my family, but it can be suffocating when you always have priorities that must come before you. I know that I have to take care of myself too (that's why I workout 4 times a week) but I feel like their wellbeing is more crucial at this time.

[@ijustchangedmyname7794]

Stephanie S See I’m in the reverse of where you are. I’m wishing I was married by now and had babies. I look around and think when will the next stage of my life happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in a corner wallowing in desperation but it’s hard when you want something that isn’t/might not happening when you wish it was.

[@jessalove3344]

The grass is always greener on the other side

[@kristen8381]

you're great, Kandy. this video has helped me more than you could imagine. I'm 24 and always tearing myself down because I can't seem to function like the other people my age (get a job, live alone, pay bills, etc.). this video reminded me that everyone has their own time. and that it's not too late for me. much love xoxo ❤

[@KandyFoxx]

Everyone grows at different rates. You will find your time and then look back and say, that shit wasn't so bad.

[@Bernadettemarie1959]

It is OK! You will know when the time is right for you. I put my girls out at 26 and 27 years old. My youngest said that she was moving. I was so excited. Then she said she was not. Man, I went and found them an apartment...and my two girls moved in together. I do have panic attacks about them being out there in the world. But, I would not change a thing; I love seeing them grow. I am very proud and happy for them. I get to live alone. And, I love it. I left their dad in the year 2000; I was 40 years old. First time I had my own apt, and first time I had my own car. Sad but it is true. It's been hard because I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, but I'm doing OK. I talk to God a lot, and I read my scriptures and pray a lot. My girls do not have kids or a boyfriend. They may never have kids. And I'm OK with that. You take care now and don't worry; it all works out in the end...follow your inward voice.

[@kristen8381]

thank you so much for this kind and encouraging comment. ❤

[@Sarajanesjourney]

Love your channel, your honesty, and personality, keep doing you boo 💜

[@Sarajanesjourney]

asiancountrygal Hey there hun you too boo 💜😍

[@kimbasciano_]

Thank you for sharing this with us. Long story short, I have an 8 year old son & his birth father never contacts me. Fortunately I’m so lucky that I have my parents & family’s undying support and they have helped me raise my son. I’ve also been with my current boyfriend for 7 years, he’s all my son knows and they love each other to death. I love my bf I just don’t think I’m IN love with him anymore. it’s so hard because I do care for him & my son and I both love him dearly. He’s a great person. His family accepts my son as their own too. A few years ago I broke up with him and started dating someone else but I felt so guilty that I went back to him. There are days where I see a future for us and other days where I just want to be friends. It’s so hard. Thank you for sharing your story though, it helps to know I’m not alone. I admire your strength. xoxo

[@lisabrand6980]

Kim Basciano I

[@hanasanai665]

You could foster or adopt eventually, I'm so excited to one day be a foster mom it's one of the most beautiful gifts I could ever have offer someone and it will be a blessing in my life 10 fold. Edit: you're a whole person without kids too, you don't need kids, they're just a wonderful gift, especially if you're fostering or adopting and helping them too :)

[@christyinthecarolinas]

I'm semi new to your channel and I was just watching the video where you were thinking about leaving yt because of the trolls. I left a comment there, but I wanted to say that I adore you!! I'm so glad I found your channel. I went through a divorce as well, and having that Independence was awesome. I too, went straight from my parents to being married. My situation is different from yours in the way that my ex was a monster. But I digress. I love your gaming videos lol! I'm a gamer but have never enjoyed watching other people game, but I clicked on one of your videos and you're hilarious. Anyways, I hope you're doing well. I look forward to getting to know you through the good ole world if KZbin! Hugs girly! Xoxo

[@pinksands5873]

I've been married for 7 years I'm 25 now. I have 2 kids and live with my hubby at our own farm. my sisters are grown up but rely on my parents for everything, gas car payments insurance rent food clothes for them selves and kids money for hair salon or nails or spending money. I have been battling with PPD and PPA after my babies, the financial burden hanging over my head doesn't keep me up at night because we have everything we need, not what we want. I separated from my husband for a while I thought I wasn't happy with him, but it was me. my brain wasn't telling me to be happy, I have such a nice life and didn't realize what I had until I was about to lose it. I know this is a bit over the place but anyone out there who is going through this, things will get betterm. you will never fully appreciate the rainbow until you've sat through the storm. you have a new sense of gratitude when youve hit rock bottom. I hope you and your husband work things out, you remind me of my situation, I was head over heels in love with this guy and the next day I was revolted by him..my brain wasn't working right and I was on meds but stopped and have found a new sense of freedom. if anyone needs anything please message me I have a lot to say!

[@sophs5080]

I’m sorry you have struggled with anxiety and depression that’s not easy and my heart goes out to you ... but I urge you to please take better care of yourself and make healthier choices not to be “skinny” just to feel happier and healthier .. I mean i watch a lot of your videos and for the most part I really enjoy your content like your hauls and stuff but realistically if this was an anorexic girl encouraging others to just starve and love there anorexia or eating disorder they would be getting absolutely slaughtered :( .. it’s so sad on both ends of the spectrum really ... I hope one day you can see the genuine comments out there that are just concerned and want the best for you that there’re not all just body shaming !... and for the mean rude comments that are shame on them x

[@KandyFoxx]

It's not that I am not listening to people with genuine concern. I am working on myself. I am in no way meaning to "glorify obesity". I genuinely want everyone to love themselves no matter their demons, struggles or hardships.

[@sophs5080]

Kandy Foxx aw thanks for the reply and yeah I suppose your not directly glorifying it I understand your point :) I hope your having a nice day ! X

[@danielasmith4661]

Amen! I'm 28 years old and I've had anxiety since I was 16.. I'm so sick of people down playing mental illness. I agree if you haven't experienced it people will never understand it! It's real! I get it girl❤️😉

[@justinluv]

Society tells us women we need to be married and have children to be happy. That is so not the case! Love you Kandy, this was so raw and real it made me gain even more respect for you. ❤️❤️❤️ Hope you have a great day.

[@NavyJenny]

justinluv PREEEACH 🙌❤️

[@SbjsksmNx]

justinluv not just society, but the Bible also says that.

[@velvetrevolver1081]

There is no problem with being alone we all feel lonely at some points but then you realize "dang..im alot of fun" 😂 I got out of an mentally and physically abusive relationship with a man I met at 16 while he was 20 and he took away the good years of my life,I had to get on birth control that destroys my body and still does to this day which is why I'm trying to workout through it, and he had gotten alot of my saved money everytime he went in and out of jail. He went back in an 8th time and now I'm almost 19 and I dumped his sorry ass and for some reason since then and being by myself I've learned that I can have fun and be me and be happy without someone on my pack and live life and someday I will share the love I have for myself with someone else but for now I'm just in love with myself ❤

[@KandyFoxx]

Good for you!

[@jessicap7188]

VelvetRevolver good for you. Stay away from people like that because they will bring you down and you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. 19 is so young. Be free and live a GREAT LIFE with people who have the same goals as you. Keep your head up. Cause I know it's easier said than done, but just be strong. 💪🏻☺️💁🏼

[@knuddelkatze452]

VelvetRevolver Be proud of yourself! It's hard to get out of such a relationship! Pls stay strong when he comes back from jail-i know it's hard to not go back sometimes, even if we know it is not good for us! Wish you all the best, hope you're still doing good!

[@comedyLover30]

As I watch this I want to leave my husband. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

[@mercedes523]

Southern Gal This is late but I hope things worked out for you and your husband.

[@morganf6761]

I totally needed to hear this today! I could listen to you talk all day because what you say makes so much sense to me! This is why you’re my favorite on KZbin! ❤️

[@jimmyblackie]

I too suffer from depression and anxiety. My husband doesn't believe in that. Right now I'm on anxiety medication because if I'm not I can't take control of my emotions. I have so many health issues such as diabetes, glaucoma and stage 4 kidney failure. And the one thing that pisses me off about him is him saying what do I have to be depressed about. But you're right if you've never had it you don't know what the hell it is and I pray to God that he never finds out because it is so hard to deal with. You should never say anything about not understanding what people are going through unless you've walked a mile in their shoes.

[@lindsay9992]

jimmyblackie I am sorry to hear about your struggles, specifically with regard to the depression and anxiety. I too struggle with deep depression and, like you, one family member questioned it and whether it was a true illness. So much so my psychiatrist actually wrote to him. Yeah. Like I would put myself through ECT twice a week for 16 weeks! Anyway, try and keep your chin up. You may sometimes feel alone, but you are not. Try and be kind to yourself x

[@jimmyblackie]

Lindsay Norman thank you so much for your comment. Sometimes I do feel so alone and that the one person that should be trying to understand me and support me doesn't. I feel that at only 47 years old I am going through so much. Not only do I have to struggle with my own issues, I also have to deal and struggle with my 15 year olds personal emotional feelings that he's going through. He as well doesn't feel the support from his father and he has so much resentment towards him. Sometimes I wonder why Kandy separated from her husband. She really has never said. I've contemplated separation over the past 5 years. I've been married for 19. but I do try to stay strong and my son helps me to stay strong and so much more. Hey at only 15 those so much more than my husband.

[@lindsay9992]

jimmyblackie I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Perhaps you could join an online mental health forum in your country where you can share your feelings/anxiety with others who would understand? We all need someone to off-load to, hun x

[@Kelly-ew9vf]

Getting married young doesn't make you immature. Marriage use to be the norm. Not being married is fine too though. I think being responsible is necessary regardless. I think it may have been the way you were living/the way you guys were codependent and this is what you needed to grow. Maybe your parents didn't teach you responsibility.

[@nichole203]

Literally I felt like I was listening to myself talk...we are so similar in a lot of ways based on this video. I have so much respect for what you're doing and just know that even though are complete strangers I support you and I love your videos! I watch every single one and I just think you are so amazing. Please keep posting!! I pray that your channel grows and more people find you because I am so grateful that I did ❤️

[@JesikaLopez10813]

Yay, I've been waiting for a new video!!

[@bonniea3310]

one of the most addictive sounds ive ever heard...you putting those tops on, lol

[@mommyof2adventures605]

I wish I would have learned Independance along time ago. I was 18 when I got married and moved out then a few years later divorced and then I was all alone drinking ju marriage I never worked I was a stay at home mom. Now I'm back at it a stay at home mom worth my SO and he works and is the main provider and I get really bad anxiety when I try snd get a job. It's so bad

[@HaulinAsh41]

I understand you completely!!! I get so excited when my notification bell goes off for your channel hahaha!! I started my KZbin channel recently because it's kind of nice to just talk to the camera lol big thumbs up big hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@eimhearaoife-rose5441]

Haulin Ash just subbed, I I have a channel to so just sending some support x

[@issimma]

Éimhear & Aoife-Rose - Hi since you are fans of Kandy's I've also just subbed to both of your channels, you and Haulin Ash 😊

[@eimhearaoife-rose5441]

Rebekah Campbell aw thank you, my niece owns the second channel, for kids xo

[@mariamclaughlin5970]

Haulin Ash I LOVE your hair! How do I get that color please?

[@HaulinAsh41]

Éimhear & Aoife-Rose subbed you back hun

[@sebrinaleepayne-biscardi4113]

Very touching vlog. Thank you for sharing, Kandy. 😊💗

[@laurasmith7406]

I have aspergers syndrome and severe ptsd and I'm bipolar. My mother sheltered me my entire life and I am 36 now. I feel like I know nothing about the real world. I feel like my mother, although well meaning, set me up for failure. I had to teach myself how to cook and clean, so my idea of clean and hers are 2 completely different things. I had to figure out how sex and periods and all that stuff works on my own. She didn't teach me anything. She's always telling everyone I'm crazy or not in a good state of mind, 2 years ago she tried putting me in a group home and getting guardianship over me. But I'm not crazy, I have emotional issues yes, but I was beaten by my ex husband for two years, who wouldn't have issues? I have turned my life around. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and believes in me, I'm working on getting gastric bypass surgery, I've been working hard to overcome my issues. I have a 13 year old autistic son who lives with my parents for now. He's been there 3 years because of what happened with my ex husband and he's afraid of this house. My goal is to in the next year make my house look like a completely different house and hopefully transition him back to living with me. I hope things get better for you. I just found and subscribed to your channel by accident, but I like you. You're honest and real.

[@KandyFoxx]

Thank you for sharing that. I am so glad to hear you are turning things around!

[@EnglishVirgo]

I always wanted children, I had multiple surgeries and I did meds to conceive. All through it my doctors told me that nothing would work, I was simply too heavy and being so fat was stopping me. I did achieve one pregnancy when I lost a bunch of weight, but I lost that baby and it never happened again. I went on to have an rny and lost 100lbs+ of weight. What irritated me is that the doctors said to me "lose 50lbs and I will guarantee you will get pregnant"...100lbs down and nope, my body doesn't want children. It has turned out that it is a great thing that children didn't come along, I am so unwell with multiple health issues (not related to my past obesity) and would not be a sufficient mother. Mother nature knew better and I am okay with that. I do know that my incredible obesity impacted my fertility some back in the day, but I was no more fertile when I was tiny (I got too skinny at one point) than I was huge. Fate knows what its doing, we just need to admit that to ourselves more.

[@NatashaSnell]

Trust me I understand about the whole independence thing and so many times in my life I wish I could go back and change that part. I graduated from high school when i was 18 and 2 months later i moved away to college I was there for a year but to be honest it was nothing but a big party. Then at 19 i moved around a bit, i lived with a friend but never on my own from there I got with the guy I was seeing moved in with him right away and was there 2 years, when i left him I moved out of state and in with my ex husband and was with him till i moved out of there left state again and moved in with my now husband. I am extremely dependent on other people and honestly from depression and anxiety was never able to find my independence. So I more then understand you, I always said I would never become one of those people but it's exactly who I became and why I spent 2 years in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and then another 6 in an emotionally abusive one. I wish you the best and I hope everything works out for the best for both of you.

[@paulaheron3787]

I can so relate to you Kandy....I got married before turning 21 and 35 years later my kids are grown and I realized I missed so much in.life...I love my kids to death and now in my 50s I'm finally discovering who I am and what I want out of life.. Enjoy your independence and live your life for YOU ❤❤

[@bettymeow9764]

I am 31 and have depression and anxiety. Had it basically all my life. That shit is very real. Anyway. You are such a beautiful person. You have a beautiful energy.

[@samh8744]

Love how real you are! ❤

[@auntmichele1025]

I think you're really brave and awesome to open up like this. It's very relatable, and I hope it's a good outlet for you.

[@Sam.S.]

You’re truly amazing, thank you for being you (:

[@Charlinestylesbeauty.]

Your so relatable. I really enjoy your videos. Your right life is to short to live unhappy.

[@odins.frauchen1991]

🧡!

[@patriciaorsborn7165]

Does not matter one iota whether you do or do not want kids. You don't get kids permanently, you only get them until college or so. To be honest, although I love my eldest, I kinda wish I'd waited and had her a few years later. If you get past the age/ability to bear children from your own body, you could look into being a foster mom, adopt, whatever. And the fact that you're responsible enough not to just go out and get pregnant to satisfy YOUR your desires speaks volumes about your mental status. I've had occasional bouts of depression, it's no joke, it made me feel like the world would be better off w/o me. And everyone, for God's sake, please don't take mental health advice from a sofa hopping egotistical religious nut (I said nut, I'm allowed to have my opinion, so zip it!) who gives depression and medical advice, even though he's completely unqualified and who believes the founder of his religion came from outer space. I'm really, deeply proud of you for recognizing that you aren't ready for motherhood yet. And if you choose never to children, that's fine, if you have friends who drop you because you don't bear kids, then they're not truly a friend at all. I never choose who I befriend just because of their parental status, I choose them based upon their personality and that little je ne sais quoi that let's you know instantly that you want to be friends! Anyway, we enjoy your vids and want only the best for you! oxox

[@susanfrometa5355]

I really like your videos I think your awesome. Keep them coming.

[@rhonda99301]

Thank you for sharing such personal info. You are beautiful, intelligent and have a great sense of humor!

[@lueanneadams363]

I'm 51 and I have never lived on my own. To be honest, sometimes I'm seriously disgusted with myself because of that. I've always taken the easy path and let someone else take care of me and now I'm trying to claw my way out. My husband and I are separated but we are housemates. Kandy, you are so far ahead, I'm so proud of you for that. I didn't wake up until I was 47 years old. It's really hard not to just give up and say I done fucked up and it's too late. I don't give in to it though. Not yet. You're an incredibly strong woman and I admire you so much.

[@KandyFoxx]

I had no idea you were 51, You do not look it! Thank you!

[@lueanneadams363]

Thank you!!

[@karinagordon6830]

Listening to you is like therapy for my soul ❤️ thanks for sharing!

[@janetgreen7059]

You are a beautiful person. I wish I had someone to talk to about my depression. Thank you for sharing and being who you are.

[@louisacoote2337]

I am slightly younger than you and have wanted children since I was about 8 or 9. I have always cared for my younger siblings, babysat, then , after uni, I have nannied, tutored, worked in after-school clubs and now have a niece & nephew, as well as being unofficial/non biological auntie/godmother to various friends’ children. My 20’s were full of people getting engaged, married and having babies, so I really struggled mentally. I am chronically single, don’t really earn enough and have health conditions that mean having a biological child(ren) is probably not on the cards for me, but I have made my peace with that. I live where I live, my jobs and my life! I get to spoil my niece and nephew as well as the children I nanny and have nannied, and I consider the other children I have taught/looked after as my heart children.

[@Aprilann871]

I met my husband when I was 13. I went from my parents house to living with him also. I moved 1 day before my 17th birthday. I got pregnant right after I turned 21. I will be 34 in April. I feel like I haven't ever gotten to just live my life

[@kansasgilleo7788]

I know exactly what you mean in 2006 I had a really really really bad breakup with my husband I met him and was with him at 15 and my first child at 17 married at nineteen second child at 19 a month later for kids and he was verbally abusive physically abusive you know just all-around I'm an a****** he cheated on me for the last time and left with her and I like lost it and prior to that in 2006 it started to get really bad with panic attacks and I was having trouble breathing and coping and everybody's like stop it's like suck it up like breathe and I'm like you can't like it literally feels like a heart attack and then certain medications like zombie you out and I don't want to live like that so I'm trying to cope therapy the whole nine so it's very true if people haven't gone through it you know and they choked up anxiety and panic attacks as nothing but literally like it is the most painful thing that I've ever had and until they realize or go through it they don't know

[@angelawood8502]

Thank you for sharing that with us. I really liked how real and open and honest you are. Just genuine. This is one of my favorite videos...I can relate as I'm going through some similar things. Thank you again... And keep them coming.

[@beguileme3743]

This life is way too short. We get one shot in this go around. Talking is absolutely a must. Your husband seems to really care about you. You are a smart woman, you will figure it out.

[@elisafuentez8531]

Don’t always think you can’t if you ever chose to down the road. I had invitro that gave me two boys. One lived one died. It is possible . I did the same thing. I didn’t want to be alone I just wanted to be loved unconditionally but that didn’t happen and my mother just died,so no support there. I am really happy to see that you are just learning proud of yourself

[@TerriHofstetter]

So I usually watch KZbin on my TV so I don't get the chance to comment. I LOVE your videos!

[@bububella40]

you are awesome

[@sapsaptastic1845]

Ignore all the hate okay, you are a beautiful person in the inside and on the outside no matter what remember that ,all the love from Finland

[@ajawarnock4009]

real talk. oddly satisfying over jello shot lids snapping shut lol

[@GCdubbs]

You must have made hella jello shots

[@KandyFoxx]

There were 50 I think. We had about 20 adults at the party

[@lynnen264]

Loved this open talk, thank you

[@elenaella6662]

I just love how real you are.. i really wish the best for you! Stay strong beautiful soul! Love you

[@AeR1990]

Me and my husband were married for 4 years, then we separate for 9 months. We thought we were going to get a divorce but ended up getting back together. That was three years ago and still going strong😊. Even though that separation was painful it was also very beneficial to both of us because it made us focus on ourselves and how to become better people. You never know what the future holds!😘

[@KandyFoxx]

That is exactly what I am hoping for

[@westcoastlass]

Love you girl ❤❤❤

[@josephineibrahimkhalaf4143]

Girl i never had a chance to grow n be my own person. From my parents to my husbands life at age 18..... First baby i was 22 2nd baby at 24. 3rd at 25. Then my second marriage 4th baby at 39. So ya i would love to travel n do things for me but i have four kids and 2 grand babies. Ugh i need a Vacation . ive been on antidepressant and anxiety meds since 1997. Its SCARY af to live with and ive been on meds now 21 n half years. Paxil 40mlg is what i take till this day. Mental illness is very real. God bless

[@SweetsBawa]

I think anyone could relate to your story on one level or another, I know I can. Thank you for sharing and just know your not alone. *HUG*

[@SweetsBawa]

*you're

[@ConnieCloverCuddlebugs]

🌸 Hello 🌸 I think you needed to do this, and I'm proud that you chose to change the course of your life. Cause now you will be able to discover who you are and what you want to become. I did that 16yrs ago and I found myself again. You will only be the one to decide if what you left behind had made you feel better about yourself or that this new road is the one that will give you the happiness you want. You know you are a awesome lady.

[@doobydoo854]

I'm not saying that depression isn't real but depression medications are highly addictive and can take a very very long time to get them completely out of your system and feel "normal" again.

[@suesmith3744]

Hi Kandy 🙋🏻. What a thoughtful and insightful video .. Thanks for being so candid . My problem is the opposite , I feel I was forced to grow up much too soon . Due to family circumstances which I won't go into I literally raised myself from the age of 10 , had my first baby at the age of 16 and was married at 17 . I had so much responsibility at such a young age and have never felt young, irresponsible or care free . I long for somebody to just look after me for a change . By the way I totally respect and get your decision not to have children , motherhood is not for every woman . You obviously adore your nephews and seem perfectly fulfilled and happy in your own skin .... Good for you . 😘💐

[@maritzmms3423]

Tooken more time you mean taken

[@shauntelpearce4967]

That was very brave of you. But you have to be true to yourself. I did the same thing about 6yrs ago. I had been with him for 20 years. We raised 7kids to almost grown. But I wasn't completely happy in the relationship. But i wasn't going to raise my kids with out him. But long story short, he's now married and I'm just trying not to jump into anything else.

[@651LYS]

I’ve just started watching your videos. I’ll be 42 this spring and I’ve never been married nor have I ever had kids. I was engaged in my late 20s but I got cold feet. Having lived alone since my 20s one would expect me to feel adult, but even now I don’t know what adulting is. It’s nice seeing how other non-traditional people live their lives, as I don’t feel traditional at all.

[@mommyof2adventures605]

I was glad you mad this video I needed to hear it

[@oxycleanlaundrydetergent6316]

At least you admit it. My family is like this. I pay rent, bills ect. What kills me is the idea of how they spend their money. Instead of saving for the future knowing they won't be supported, they buy stupid shit. It is difficult. I am disabled so my money goes as soon as i open my mailbox lol. But i think you have a great start. Some people have kids some dont yes kids are wonderful i have 2 myself but it takes alot of time and effort and money. Just live the way you want to.

[@drenn2015]

Nothing like being independant...earning ur own money ...from childhood i was always told that "u dont need to earn money "..i was always well provided for,given best of education and things and what not....but as i completed my education now m doing job earning stipend...though its very little but "its mine " ...and the joy and responsibilty i get while spending it ..is amazing

[@richodonell1351]

Why dont you foster a teen? That way you will have someone to talk to, someone who doesnt need 24/7 parental guidance, and you can grow up together. They will get the life they deserve and you will have a kid as well as companionship.

[@donnadee3034]

Thanks for sharing. Things that you have been through and are going through are so me! I also have anxiety and depression that is managed quite well. I am on my third yes third and FINAL marriage. My husband is the best. I always wanted to be a mom but after 2 losses, came to terms in the past 4 years I can't me. But I feel the same way. I'm ok with it! I have a great job, friends and family. I travel all the time. I'm 43 and just am set in my ways now to have a kid! I have a niece who is 7 that I love so much. And I spoil her rotten. :) do what you do Kandy! You have my support :)

[@hilarydyer9434]

Kandy, what you are saying about anxiety and depression is so true, I suffer from depression and generalised anxiety disorder and have done for many years, I am also on medication for these things and like you I have tried stopping the meds but can't manage without them. It's only other people who also suffer from depression, anxiety or any mental health problem who can truly understand how it feels and how very awful it can be. Some people consider depression/anxiety a weakness but they are so wrong, we are so strong because despite how awful and scared we feel inside we still manage to get through the days and fight on, even when just getting out of bed seems like an impossible, insurmountable task xxx.

[@aprilbrandi2085]

What kind of anxiety meds do u take?

[@boobleeboo9947]

I’m waiting for more videos. You do not ramble .. don’t think you are. What you go through is probably what most of us do. If not sharing is caring

[@laurareese3389]

Kandi you are beyond AWESOME. You have beautiful courage to talk about your journey knowing people are going to be hateful, ugly, or give their own version of what uou need to do. Mind you they are not you, or your md. Sooooo. Live your truth. Live your life. God bless you and be at peace. XOLXOLXOL

[@versainertia9014]

not trying to be rude, but lose weight. change your diet. the fertility will come back. trust me. I have pcos and it's very hard for me to have children. I went vegetarian and lost 20 pounds in less than a year. it's coming back!!! estrogen supplements help too

[@KandyFoxx]

I'm sorta mad at myself for getting off track with it. But I am working on it.

[@sabinadewit]

Hi kandy love your videos thats what i was wondering how you pay for all the things you order? Because of me waching i start to order to really fun but i have to be care full before i order to much

[@Emu6767]

I think it is absolutely awesome that you have this amazingly mature and positive outlook on life and I aspire to be able to do the exact same for myself. Thank you kandy for all your positivity, realisticness, and wise words. You are awesome

[@kaylanicolet]

I completely understand what you are saying. Since I started working out of town this time, it is just my child and I through the week. On Thursday we leave to go back to the house. I'm pay for an apartment here and pay for her sitter. I feel as I am starting to grow up and realize that I can take care of myself and her. Me and my husband are on two different paths in life and it is taking a toll on our relationship.

[@KandyFoxx]

It's hard to come to that realization but its very freeing knowing you can do it on your own.

[@kaylanicolet]

What kills me is he has no clue. He is starting to take everything I do for granted. If I want to talk about us, he gets all defensive and shuts down.

[@KandyFoxx]

You are literally describing my struggle. I just kept talking tho.

[@kaylanicolet]

My husband acts like I need him and acts like I couldn't make it without him. We almost separated last year because of certain issues and it seems like it is all going back to how it was. I have no one I can talk too because my parents adore him and my friends aren't married so they don't know what it is like or they are happy in their marriage. Thanks for letting me talk about it. You video touched me and made me cry a little because I'm going through the same issues.

[@thebluezep]

"I am becoming the person I thought I was - but wasn't really. And it is amazing" This words just made by day.

[@wonderpizza2110]

Gurl, I truly understand your feelings... this is what I'm feeling right now. You're an extremely strong person. I admire you. Love your videos

[@tonyaboggs3042]

I really like you a lot. I've been watching your videos. And wow you're so pretty also. Thanks for the talk time!!!!!

[@vikkianne4328]

You are so inspirational. I absolutely love watching your videos. You didn't ramble at all!

[@CannabrannaLammer]

I had my first baby loss at 18, moved out at 17. Had first baby at 19. I'm now married and reasonably comfortable at 34, with 7 kids and my dream life. I just always wanted it this way. I'm in agreement with people that not everyone should have kids. A lot of people can't handle it and don't do it right. They'd have been much happier just living their life in their own way. I think you'd make a great mum. I'm autistic and I have other issues but I overcome them like you and just do my thing.

[@kristihanson]

I have really gotten 'hooked' on your videos this past month. I enjoy your openness and confidence. 💝 ....and, yes, that shit is real.

[@KaelaRoster]

Hi Kandy, Everything you said resonates with me so strongly. My husband passed away very suddenly 6 months ago. Like you, I am now learning at 30 what it means to be independent, to pay all of the rent and all the utilities on my own, all of the things hooked up to my account, navigating the world without my partner, etc. I also essentially went from my parent's house to the college dorm to moving in with him immediately after graduation. I am also now struggling with severe anxiety and depression as a result of everything and am getting on meds tomorrow. Your video is so inspiring to me and it makes me realize I CAN DO IT. Thanks!

[@KandyFoxx]

You're amazing and strong. I know you will get through it!

[@terezabell9033]

Such a Candid and touching vlog. I look at your face and see what a great person you are. Thank you for sharing this xoxox

[@Ac-ty8wp]

This was really great to hear. It feels like I'm not alone, in the same situation as a lot of people. I just turned 32 and most of my adult years was in the same bedroom that I grew up in. The place I worked closed down, so now I'm 32 and unemployed and living with my parents still. I was with someone for 2 and 1/2 years, it just ended 2 days ago. it was my first and only love. My family is very old school , and I didn't want to be disowned for being gay and never said anything. All my life I've tried to please everybody else and not myself . That beautiful smile that everyone loves is usually fake. On the inside I'm sad and always anxious, my stomach is always in knots . I needed more from my girlfriend and she was very about self. Her mother told me that how she is and I just grasping for straws, I took what I could get from her. We were long distance and she wanted to talk maybe twice a month. We did a lot of voice recordings but she never really listened to mine. She checked in with me but she never checked on me. Check-in meeting letting me know what she's doing, what she's up to, her feelings about how her work day was. All that energy and effort and caring and compassion I gave her I need to put into myself. I need to love myself. I need to get a full-time job and become independent for once in my life. Do what makes me happy. This week I started walking half a mile everyday and I went to church for the first time in a long time. Been watching some inspirational videos on Facebook and KZbin, like yours. I'm going to start trying to meditate. Came to thank you for sharing, I could have listened to more of it. I only have one or two friends and it felt like I was listening to a friend. It's hard to make friends as an adult.

[@KandyFoxx]

Great job on getting out there and working on yourself!

[@CharleneTaylor-kz8lz]

You have kids

[@Hamilekonu]

Your transparency and honesty is so inspiring. You just are who you are and that is so freaking awesome. Thank you

[@michellehernandez1411]

Love you hun! But I'll be honest, I don't think people should get medication for depression or anxiety. Only because people start getting dependent on it and it gets hard to get off of it. I used to be depressed in high school. And somehow I got out of it alone. It's an amazing feeling to realize I did it alone. My humble opinion ❤️ stay beautiful

[@hschool98]

Miimii Hernandez I wish I wouldn’t have started taking anxiety medication I afraid to go off of them

[@AntCo0607]

I think you described all of this sufficiently in a good way.. I'm also curious about how you acquired your outlook on life. I mean I'm the same way, high levels of depression and anxiety that I've had my entire life but I acquired the "life is short just be happy" concept from some pretty close near death experiences, as well as actual deaths of people I was close with. Idk. Maybe it's just a learned concept that some people just understand after a while, even if death isn't the cause of you to change your outlook on life... Now i feel ramble-y! lol.

[@KandyFoxx]

Honestly, I have always been a very positive person. I think my family has a lot to do with it.

[@mymagik]

I thought it wasn't going to happen. I have pcos too and was told if I could even get pregnant I probably couldn't carry. I had 5 miscarriages. I used to weigh 350 lbs. I lost 125 lbs and got divorced. I started dating a guy I worked with. I found out I was pregnant the last time at 17 weeks. I carried Noah full term with no issues. He's now 6. My little miracle. His dad isn't in the picture but I couldn't be happier than I am now. When u find urself and the right person it can definitely happen.

[@KandyFoxx]

That's very uplifting and I am so glad you shared with me. Thank you

[@mrandmrssteele]

You are so relatable. Listening to this felt like listening to an old friend on the sofa while chilling. You come across as such a real person. Love this video. Thank you!

[@yolososmile8604]

You never know there is no perfect time to have kids. I never wanted kids I have three lol I wouldn't trade them for the world.

[@celybbx4340]

You seem like such a sweet person and fun to be around with..... Good luck Kandy! FYI I PIVE YOUR VIDEOS!!

[@celybbx4340]

Love ❤️ ***

[@treyakachickenboywillis2695]

I met my husband at the age of 22 we married had a son at the age of 25 now I'm 34 . We are still legally married now but haven't talked due to his mental health .So all together it's been over decade of being together . He is all I know because we met moved in with each other quickly .He cheated which was not like him twards the end of us breaking up in 2014 and I wasn't having that . The reason he cheated was because he took a job around guys that was single and looked at woman like a piece of meat with no respect .These men took him from his stable home and pushed him into a life of a single man .He never clubbed we was with each other all day before and after he went to work best friends we were .He met a woman left me and his son took care of her child and neglected his own. He tried to come back several times but it was when she did something .So now he's homeless on the streets dealing with mental illnesses and roaming the streets with dirty clothes .I saw him once called out to him and he didn't even know it was me just started roam off . infedelity isn't right under no circumstances .I've been to myself for five years meaning no intimacy just celebate .It's not been hard because most think no sex or a relationship isn't normal .But I've came to the realization that many woman want a husband just to have a title and he can cheat or do you any kind of a way .I have always been strong and have been asked out but mostly are jerks so I decided to revaluate my life and look after me and my son .It's been amazing because I've learned a lot about me . It is not okay to be miserable or uncomfortable in a marriage because I had lived the marriage and family life did it all and if it's not there anymore move on . I'm living for God my family and I have never been happier . Being alone isn't the end of the world .Most people don't value relationships so let's be honest we just live in a horrible generation were most people don't respect human life ."Team Alone And Proud Over Hear."

[@KandyFoxx]

Thank you for sharing your story!

[@CharleneTaylor-kz8lz]

Get back to me

[@911smilingbunny]

Your channel is awe inspiring.❤❤❤ I'm a 17 year old plus size senior in high school and I've come to the sad realization that high school is full of ignorant people who don't have a shred of compassion. But I also think that despite the negativity its time to bring out the best in me. It's time for me to be happy. I have lived my life just getting by under the radar, and to be honest, fuck that! I don't have a single minute to waste on just getting by! Instead of wishing I did, I'll just do it!!! I'm gonna live my best life that I know I have in me and it's just waiting to get out! I'm done spreading negativity! I'm completely over that! I'm getting to the point in my life that I have to plan for the future and that shouldn't be happening when I can't even be satisfied now. Fat or not I have to move on and seek happiness because I'm not waiting for it to come when I'm 10 pounds lighter. I'm looking for it now. Like right now. And whoever is reading this, you should too. 😘❤ you only have one life y'all!

[@KandyFoxx]

That was amazingly inspiring. Live your life to the fullest and be the happiest you that you can be!