The Real Reason You’re Overwhelmed with ADHD

[@00_MyBestAdvice_00]

IMO ADHD is one of the most misunderstood of all common medical conditions, by both those challenged with it and the general public. By explaining how this behavioral adaptation evolved, and how to manage in today's world, you do an invaluable service to both groups. Don't ever stop. ❤

[@CarenMagill]

thank you!

[@SassyYazzy1212]

You got me crying within 1 minute. I got my diagnosis one year ago, at 33. While at new job after 8 years, total new role, new branche. New everything. My RSD was thriving. The diagnosis was a process (and still is). It was too prominent for my boss's liking so i lost that job after a year. I am now at a new job. With no adhd coaches at my side anymore. Your video made me realize I keep needing to hear this kind of stuff. Otherwise, i fall into old habits and compare myself with people who have different brains.

[@dbencic]

I actually do feel like burning my life down right now and starting all over again 😅

[@davidtrevino5211]

Grattitude in general normally helps to a certain degree with those thoughts, in my experience.. GODSPEED

[@silvioapires]

SAME!!!

[@oehlhof1019]

I did! 🔥

[@EsmereldaPea]

I just put everything into storage and am spending the summer in Europe. But I don't have kids, a spouse, or a job to work around. (No, I'm not independently wealthy, just have enough to be able to do this b/c I'm not paying a mortgage or rent other than in Europe.

[@jaeshasway]

I wish I was young enough because I would, but at 58, I’m stuck in this life. 😅

[@Heyu7her3]

I was neither a hunter nor a gatherer... I was a wiseman/ philosopher 🧠

[@JennyAmigo31]

You are the ONLY person who puts in words exactly how I feel- before giving suggestions! It’s sooooooo validating and helpful! I wish we could all go to an island of misfit ADHD’ers once a month for a get together!! LOTS ‘a❤ LOVE To OUR PEOPLE! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[@drewjuancano9665]

I have such a hard time prioritizing what's important and what can wait. I end up getting nothing done in the process. So, this makes me feel better and not such an abnormal person.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

Same! I feel like everything is important and I just shut down with overwhelm and don't get any of it done because I can't choose what I should do. I absolutely HATE starting something I know I won't have time to finish all in one hyperfocus session either, so big projects never get started because of this.

[@kreativekatevlog]

The whole evolutionary idea would also explain why many ADHDers remain calm in a crisis... we would have had to if we were out on the hunt !!

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

There are SO many of us in the medical field! 😀

[@judymiller5154]

I tell my friends, if there's ever a catastrophe, find us bcz my hubby is incredible in an emergency 💪

[@eddiejohn8506]

As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?

[@patriaciasmith3499]

He’s on the internet

[@zarabecker8373]

Pretty sure the issue is waking up every day believing you're going to conquer the world then unable to identify what went wrong. Then forgetting that happened and plotting along like ladeda I'm going to accomplish so much today. Rinse and repeat.

[@LegoFlipC]

I’m a starter and activator … not a process person, so details of ‘ongoing operations’ of life are a struggle and exhausting. I have started businesses and been successful surrounded by people who live for ‘order’ . But without that.. From finances to my health… it buries me and then overwhelm then paralysis and apathy…😢 Once I added children to life I went from overwhelm to “i give up’ and just got used to feeling overwhelmed apathy all the time- time to break it!

[@SS24ist]

Same here. Children are the only thing I can focus on. If I try to do more, God save me. They're so overstimulating that I struggle to do much of any other processes. Look for a job? Organize a doctor's visit? Pack up and move house in 2 weeks? Help.....

[@daram5257]

Perfect timing of this video for me. I did your value assessment the other day and was surprised by what was most important to me. But not really surprised...deep down I knew but I was still holding onto old / society-expected values. Blocked time for myself this weekend to explore this more and try (for the 100th time) to set priorities and plans.

[@CarenMagill]

I love that! The more you become familiar with yourself (needs, strengths, values), the more you will start to self-direct in a way that serves you. Good luck!

[@ronbarton7799]

Is the values assessment on a PDF or Word document?

[@daram5257]

@@ronbarton7799 Hi, it was a website page - I received the link to it when I signed up for the email list at her website listed above (itsadhdfriendly)

[@daram5257]

@@ronbarton7799 Hi, I tried replying early but it got blocked because I referenced a website. the assessment was sent to me when I went to her website shown in her description above and signed up for her email list.

[@andresolivera7787]

What if my job is my stress environment? If I stop it, I won't eat. I am just realizing now after 40 years of doing the same thing, is that this stressful environment is what I need to get my dosage of intensity my brain craves. Otherwise, I disregulate drastically and I fall into depression.

[@corylcreates]

I can kind of see the evolutionary purpose, but there's a big misconception: "hunter-gatherer" is used to describe how we got food before settled agriculture. The two words just mean if someone is hunting prey/quarry (meat) or gathering nutrition (fruits, nuts, seeds, plants, eggs, etc.) "Gatherer" doesn't mean someone at the homestead or someone who does the daily things at a slower pace, especially because some hunting methods are slow or "set and come again". "Hunter-gatherer" is the same as "forager."

[@user-vn9sh6hv8r]

I came here to clarify the same thing, so thank you for doing so first! To say another way, the theory is that the ADHD mind is of the 'Hunter-Gatherer' state rather than of the settled, pastoral, agriculturist state that evolved later. It is not Hunter *vs* Gatherer as stated in the video. We are Hunters *and* Gatherers 😊

[@DrDweh]

its crazy i was just thinking about this the other day! how ADHD minds were probably more fit for a different kind of lifestyle such as living off the land or being hunters! glad I am not crazy because i have been dealing with this overwhelm ALOT here latley!

[@RebeccaRuano]

I’m overwhelmed, and confused… I’m slipping away from life… I don’t know what to do… I’m going to watch this again, I can manage my input… but the steps 2 and 3… like you said… I don’t live this way. Things aren’t linear; everything is connected, it’s cyclical and webbed, everything ahhhh!! Maybe I need meds. I’m going to a doctor in the morning.

[@daram5257]

Glad you are going to see a doctor. I found just getting some acknowledgment and support eased my mind a little. Also, reach out. There are a lot who can relate!

[@RebeccaRuano]

@@daram5257 lol, doc says bipolar, and suggests an anticonvustant. Sometimes getting help sends me back to the bench.

[@daram5257]

@@RebeccaRuano I understand, it's tough to get news like that. Do you think the doctor is right? If so, then give it time for the diagnosis to settle with you and then you can look at the positive of having some answers and options. If you don't agree, I would get a second opinion.

[@RebeccaRuano]

@@daram5257 Thank you for your considerate reply. No, I'm 100% sure that's the Rx they're promoting, right now. It's a med for epilepsy. I talked with her during 2 visits for about 40 mintures total. It's weird, getting help. I know I need help because i'm unable to get out of the despair hole, but I'm happy when I talk the doctor, because I know I'm getting help, and because a lot of the despair is from simply needing to talk to someone. I told her that, "i really just need someone to talk to." I also told her I have been diagnosed with Ad/HD, deslexia, and mild autism back in 2004. Also, I could sense that she was rushing and i naturally tried to assist by talking faster 🙄😬😅🥰 I think I'll give her this next appointment to find out if she's going to look any deeper, of if she's just going to try to mute me like all the doctors want to do. Again, Daram5257, i appreciate your comment and the opportunity to analyze what happened there.

[@PsycInColour]

@@RebeccaRuanoI was diagnosed with bipolar and 10 years later we find out its adhd. For some reason women are often diagnosed with BPD or CPTSD when presenting with ADHD symptoms. I'm not saying you have either or both but what I'm saying is make sure you advocate for yourself.

[@Pr3stss]

I have competing priorities. Full time work, single lady, and in school. I can't prioritize school over work, but school is what truly drives me.

[@STATRN]

I love all your videos but I was strung up on one thing. You mentioned towards the end in your exercise to think about the “one thing” that brings one towards that future version of oneself that was deemed ideal. I’m a mom of three beautiful children, a wife & a full time working emergency room nurse. At any given moment my focus has to be in so many areas, not ever just in one place. I definitely get the point of this exercise and the idea that if you don’t make time for yourself, then you’ll always feel focused on way too many other things & that can be problematic, especially with our type of overactive thinking. But how is this truly accomplished, other than in mental thought? Especially if, like myself who’s focus is literally always on those around me? Definitely don’t want this comment to sound like a criticism, it’s just me asking directly, cause I really do connect with how well you explain and work through this with all of us watching. When you asked what’s the one thing you think of… what happened to me was 1000 things flooded my mind. I guess in short, my real question is- is there a way to work towards making those 1000 things narrow down to just 1 thing? Thx

[@jamesprovance8696]

Great video & Thank you (I have been a subscriber for about two weeks now.)..... I will have to go through it a couple more times (looking forward to it) to get all of the information. In the beginning of the video, you mention the feelings of being broke / damaged (also add "not good enough"), well I just figured out a couple of months ago that I have been and are a product of ADHD, I have known that I am also dyslexic since my second grade. I am know 66. Due to the wonderful subconscious programing that I have had since my early teens (50+ years) of being: broken / damaged / not good enough - ever, I was wondering if you know of a subliminal tape(s) for ADHDers, that addresses these issues. Thanks again.

[@richardleetbluesharmonicac7192]

I found myself googling caves of the Himalayas that’s about how far I made it I love caves

[@judymiller5154]

yesterday I "happened" to see a short about blue whales, so I googled what is the largest blue whale on record...exciting stuff! 😅 but ran across a description of tardigrades (microscopic 8-legged animals with incredible survival traits) and got lost there for about 20 minutes. BTW I am retired, live in the mountains, own 1 horse, one dog, 1 cat...ocean animals have zero application to anything I need to do today, or ever. *sigh*

[@JennyAmigo31]

Can the “ONE THING” include a whole like business plan? I am an INFLUENCER- (it’s not really one thing alone- it all goes together-). But I see the mind vector- it makes me HAPPY! I want it SO BAD! But because it’s not ONE thing- I’m stuck on the exercise. Is it the one thing? I want to have a KZbin channel about healing from abuse- publish my book, go out speaking and inspiring broken people with art and music. The art music and book are done. But starting the public channel is kinda next step to make it happen. Planning and breaking it all down is IMPOSSIBLE. And I spin in circles accomplishing zero. I want to go to schools, Universities, corporations and events to speak- and inspire. With an income from my speaking and book and classes. I live helping people and being on stage!! This video helps so much. But what to do to get stuff done and be clear.?? I’m currently stuck in a miserable broke job. 😩

[@adhdself-love]

Step 1 is to be faced with each thing you didn't conceive of having had to do in order to even be prepared for doing step one. Each step thereafter follows the same pattern until you either start another thing on mid step 3, say, or complete the aforementioned task at the 11th hour and anywhere between 57.5 to 59 minutes, and 59 seconds.

[@SIBIRIAKcom]

Wow. Hauntingly similar to sound production principles. If the initial recording has a noise floor, gaining the output will only bring the noise up.

[@chrisso1973]

I really wanted to like this video. I relate to so much of what was said. But I’ve seen enough of these things to know that as soon as you’re asked to visualise how you want to feel about yourself and how you wish your life could be (knowing that viewers are there because they’re not in a good place), I could feel the sales pitch coming. Such a pity. I genuinely thought this might be someone sharing some insights for the common good. A complete disappointment.

[@Arrian1111]

From a British perspective, it seems that most American content creators insert something of an 'info-mercial'. It's depressing, but they have to put food on the table, I suppose.

[@QuriedeBerk]

This is so nice to listen to

[@jaeshasway]

One thing I’ve noticed is that ADHD is beginning to be blamed for some negative, toxic and immoral behaviors that are not caused by ADHD, but simply perpetrated by negative, toxic, immoral people that just happen to have ADHD, or claim to. Plenty of neurotypical people do the very same negative, toxic, immoral behaviors. This is really concerning especially since those with ADHD have just begun to speak up and talk about ADHD in the last 10-15 years. I would hate to see negative labels pinned on ADHD out of fear, misinformation and ignorance. 😞

[@Seline01883]

it's like i wanna do it all which is : "humanely impossible" ikr , but i somehow convince myself that im jst lazy and stupid

[@judymiller5154]

I must have 3 dozen Playlists of topics I'm interested in, knowing full well I could search the topic whenever I was actually ready to pursue it. saving videos to a Playlist is me pretending I WILL actually pursue it very soon! 😁

[@leondeiak]

How the hell I supposed to meditate and focus when I am not able to control the focus? I hate every time I hear this shit from my therapist. If you have severe ADHD - you are not able to CONTROL FOCUS and SWITCH YOUR GEARS by just "I WANT TO" !

[@CarenMagill]

you would benefit from breathwork. It's less of a concentration effort and it would calm you down.

[@judymiller5154]

Hubby and I both have ADHD. as soon as they start explaining their "system" that starts with organizing and then prioritizing then planning .... I think "you SO don't get it"! Like telling you to just do the things you have always struggled with. I'm 78 and it's taken a lifetime to build a few habits that help including being patient with myself during the chaos of transitions. We moved 6 years ago and I knew it would be 5 years before I found a good friend or 2 and I'd have a few false starts. Last year got a bestie at last. I still have a bunch of boxes not unpacked. Hubby said we would complete the remodel in 1 year, then 2, then he forgot we had a plan to remodel and sell... he tore out the master bath 5 years ago, just completed the shower. *sigh* But Jesus loves us and we will be ok. God bless all who struggle ❤🙏❤️

[@barbaralawrence6226]

Thank you, Caren! I think out of all your wonderfully informative and helpful videos, this one has the greatest impact for me personally. If you ever feel inclined to add one more thing to your plate, I'd LOVE for you to create an audio download of guided exercises such as the one in this video. Your voice is both calming and energizing, most likely due to the passion embedded in your words. I'm excited to witness your embracing nervous system regulation from an ADHD viewpoint. Awareness of and learning about nervous system regulation and high sensitivity entered my life in November 2022 and profoundly shifted my entire way of being by March 2023. Still a daily challenge, though. 🙋‍♀️💖

[@nikkireigns]

This is kinda funny; one of my ducks got loose and I had to “hunt” it to catch it. The feeling I felt crouching and watching and waiting for the right moment was spectacular! 😅

[@ForgiveMyMadness]

My issue is... at this point in my life, I can't even descern what things truly bring me joy or feelings of accomplishment versus the things I'm doing for other subconscious reasons. There are things I lean towards, but these things are like chasing after the wind, such as 'learning new things' or 'improving myself'... You can never be done learning things or improving onesself therefore there's never any definitive goal or endpoint to them, and never any accomplishment either. It's so hard to do anything definitive at all. I just feel like a frayed rope, all these frazzled ends that lead to absolutely nowhere :(

[@Owlch]

Your videos have been very comforting to watch as I learn more about my ADHD. Sometimes you just need to know that you're ok, and there's a way to manage things. I'm still learning and it's been difficult because I've been so hard on myself, but it's a process. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom in such a kind and comforting way!

[@americasariesson1862]

I have said over and over I am a sprinter not a marathon runner- I am physically built for power and quickness too

[@CarenMagill]

Awesome! How do you design your life to accommodate that?

[@americasariesson1862]

@@CarenMagill 🤔

[@the_salty_melody]

Same here. Already in school, I was a great sprinter but got incredibly bored by long distance running. Now I'm enjoying surfing more than anything.

[@annadushenkina3512]

I have done that. All of my projects are my own, I know why I'm doing them. I'm even in the process of changing my career to something I am passionate about. And while it's awesome, I am still overwhelmed because long term projects require time management and I'm terrible at that.

[@Brutuscomedy]

Thom Hartman popularized that theory but I think Russell Barkley was right to point out its flaws.

[@randyzeitman1354]

What is the one thing in my life that would motivate me to become closer to having the vision of what my life should be… Is money…. I don’t want to be a homeless artist. The other one for me is being an athlete, which I equate with money because I need the money to pay for my needs before I can take time for my or is that bad thinking?

[@RebeccaRuano]

It seems like a fine plan. Definitely spending more time thinking about what we want would be helpful (and spend less time describing our fears and worries). Tony the Tiger said We’ll unconsciously steer toward what ever we focus on, so let’s focus on what we want.

[@JPatelLive]

Great intro - will go back WHEN/IF I get really adhd thanks! _[ps Caren, any chance u can make the video 1080p?:]_

[@arestaquilla]

I don't know what I have to say, I'm just glad I found your videos. thank u so much for helping me

[@spndrtwentythree5239]

The way I want to cry about 3hrs ago, I am in the middle of moving I. About 6dats. I was trying to pack my cloths. Then my brain decided we ate also gonna declarer at the same time. Also pack the bathroom. Then it got too much I want to cry then go to sleep but it's 6pm I can't go to sleep at 6pm it's tooo blood earlier I'll be up in 4hrs then I am awake til tomorrow 6pm. I managed to play music listen to you by the tune I final looked up it was ok for me to go back to my cloths. I set a timer of 30mins to do half. 2hrs later I am done.

[@debbyjane5255]

God created our brains for His glory and our enjoyment!

[@kiarawickliffe9639]

I told the Lord that I was sorry for the way my brain worked and how easily I get distracted and the Holy Spirit told me that He could work with that 😊 I look forward to whatever He will call me for and that all the glory will go to Him.

[@BillyPilgrim70]

Thank you for straightening your ring!!!! 8:00

[@Pk-ft5dl]

I have been stuck for soooo long. I feel flawed at a deep level. Shame has me in an iron fist.

[@marya6445]

I'm 69 and have reinvented myself so many times it's exhausting. Most of the time, in the past, I excelled at what I chose to do and once I hit the top, I was over-it and on to the next shiny thing. Now I'm just tired and have spent Thousand of dollars trying new things thinking they will motivate me and I just sit here at the end of mu day and stare blankly at KZbin.

[@jfjdjdji723]

You lost me at evolution. I think you mean adaptation.

[@PsycInColour]

I hate when people tell me to do the things I can't do to help the ADHD 😫

[@mares3841]

Presence in every moment for every best choice.

[@smurfette6499]

Love your content. Appreciate you

[@user2584895]

That was very helpful ❤

[@luisanar9]

Thank you for all you share!!!

[@michael_gaio]

this is brilliant

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

I dont know... I feel like I'd be the one wandering around finding berries and digging for root vegetables, or back at the cave drawing on the walls or making baskets or something... although I am an excellent shot, lol! I have ADHD Inattentive type. I wonder if that makes a difference.

[@Jay-ql4gp]

Thank you!

[@gilbert7902]

SH@T, you have clearly described my life reality.

[@yellowzora]

Thank you, this year I finally started working towards a more aligned path and I already feel less burned out, but there is still a long way to go!

[@hivyfalou1393]

You describe things we stuggle with exactly as it is, I was just thinking about this today that even with my to-do list I can't follow step 1, 2, and so in.

[@randyzeitman1354]

I don’t hear you speaking to the typical case which is the intrinsic motivations are unhealthy. I have an intrinsic of motivation to avoid pain and struggle, and escape to my bed as much as possible. I think it’s sincere because I am externally motivated to make more money so that I can retire earlier, so I can live impulsively so to speak. So unless you perhaps provide examples of what other people find intrinsically motivating that I really don’t believe there is any such thing. Train me to understand the difference between a healthy intrinsic motivation and an unhealthy one. I am intrinsically motivated to stimulate myself with food. Now I am 100 pounds overweight. Yes, really. I have no idea what you mean, examples of intrinsic motivation.

[@EsmereldaPea]

I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like.

[@itslvp92]

That actually makes a lot of sense. I was adopted from a place where people are still nomadic so I am much closer to it than the average person

[@lesliepalmer7407]

I couldn’t think of my one thing. I’ll try again.

[@MarthaCurtis-u7y]

Thia doesnt deal with the underlying issue that what most people avoid is not the things that bring them joy but the mist do day to day mundane tasks that have to be done but are so incredibly bard to do like cleaning bathrooms, folding clothes, putting dishes away, declutering, organizing. Those arw the dofficult tasks not the fun ones.

[@sartajsingh24]

loved the exercise ..🌻

[@CarenMagill]

Glad you liked it!!

[@americasariesson1862]

Yep. I was surprised how quickly I could get an actual clear answer. I expected it to be work / career / money related but it wasn’t- at least I don’t think it was

[@fuzonzord9301]

I can't visualise.

[@drivers99]

It’s kind of funny how 90% of any given ADHD video (from anyone) is explaining the problem over again. I think a visual representation of the solution would be better than distracting stock footage or quickly flashing it up on the screen.

[@tammieprintz3975]

Totally me!! 😢

[@naamnei]

👍🏾

[@user-ez7pq9eu8e]

chatgpt summary: ### Detailed Summary: The video addresses feelings of overwhelm, particularly in individuals with ADHD, and provides insights into managing these emotions and achieving success. Key points include: 1. **Overwhelm and Lack of Progress**: - Feeling stuck and unable to make progress despite having many goals and responsibilities. - Experiencing shame, disappointment, and a lack of self-trust due to unfinished tasks. 2. **Changing Mindset**: - Understanding that feeling flawed or broken is not true; the brain is designed for a different type of success. - Recognizing that modern society's linear approach doesn't align with how ADHD brains function. 3. **Evolutionary Perspective**: - ADHD brains are more suited for roles like hunting, which involve bursts of energy and hyperfocus. - Modern-day distractions overwhelm the nervous system, causing procrastination and exhaustion. 4. **Managing Inputs**: - Evaluating and controlling inputs (relationships, work, media) to reduce overwhelm. - Focusing on what is helpful and eliminating distractions. 5. **Prioritizing Tasks**: - Using a framework to prioritize tasks based on intrinsic (personal interest) and extrinsic (external validation) motivations. - Intrinsic motivations lead to greater satisfaction and success. 6. **Exercise for Clarity**: - Guided visualization to identify what truly matters. - Encouraging writing down the most important focus and creating a plan of action. 7. **Commitment and Action**: - Emphasizing the importance of dedicating time and resources to the most important task. - Offering a program called "Distraction Action" for additional support in creating and following through with plans. ### Bullet Point Summary: - **Overwhelm**: Feeling stuck with too many tasks and responsibilities. - **Mindset Shift**: Understand that the brain is not flawed; it's designed for different success. - **Evolutionary View**: ADHD brains are suited for bursts of energy and hyperfocus, not constant linear tasks. - **Managing Inputs**: Control and reduce overwhelming inputs (relationships, work, media). - **Prioritize Tasks**: Focus on intrinsic motivations (personal interest) for better satisfaction. - **Clarity Exercise**: Visualize and identify the most important focus, then create an action plan. - **Commitment**: Dedicate time and resources to the most important task and seek support if needed.

[@stephaniemounts317]

Appreciate this video today ! 💗🫂💗

[@inkythinky]

High-key accuracy making the groceries example everyone’s favorite Arizona Trash Bag 🫠