complex ptsd (cptsd) and why we isolate: 9 reasons (2024)

This video is an updated version from my vid on isolation a few years ago, now including topics/reasons related to "trauma, neurodivergence, adhd, autism, bed rotting, girl rotting, hyper-vigilance and functional freeze..." and how to differentiate self care in "rotting" from depression, and what you can do.
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[@zenonkition9153]

It's so "funny" how youtube always knows what videos to suggest to me in the right moments...

[@shellissanctuary7522]

Righteous and I intend on still enjoying my own company with my furry loves❤

[@ccxmeow]

Same! Me and my kitties forever. ❤❤❤

[@DrKimSage]

fur babies are the best and nothing they love more than snuggling!

[@DrKimSage]

@@ccxmeow yes!!😻

[@sine8811]

@@DrKimSage Have some respect for the cats. They deserve better than "fur babies". What an insult.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

​@@sine8811 What a ridiculous comment.

[@ratterrierdogma]

As a neurodivergent cptsd w/ constant anhedonia it's hard to allow myself to validate my isolation or acknowledge that I'm experiencing a period of depression. I appreciate your thoughtful contribution to our healing. BUT truly feel the term "rotting" has to go. We have enough negativity in our heads and don't need another term that causes us to self-criticize.

[@DrKimSage]

I understand - this term applies to everyone who engages in this behavior. I am working on seeing it as "the art of isolation" but the term has become quite mainstream. Sending support and 💜today🙏

[@lordtachanka903]

Simply ignoring something doesn’t make it any better though. It sounds like you don’t want to call it rotting because you don’t want to criticize the behavior, however self criticism can be incredibly helpful. If I never criticized myself, I would be much worse off mentally and physically. Everyone is constantly decaying, and if we aren’t doing anything else WHILE decaying, we are, by definition, just rotting.

[@ratterrierdogma]

@@lordtachanka903 I’m quite certain I did not say anything about ignoring something. I don’t need your misinterpretation of my statement. Good for you for criticizing yourself.

[@anniemac7545]

Hi Kim, thanks for this video. I've been self isolating before COVID hit. I have Cptsd, ADHD. I'm very avoidant. It's great to hear your input, especially if you've been there too Watching from Australia

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you so much for sharing and being here! I would love to visit Australia some day! Spent a day at the New Zealand airport a million years ago - it all looks so beautiful there and where you are!

[@Elizabeth-q2b]

Self isolation = safety

[@ComicmanStephen]

Dr. Sage I just recently found your videos and at 33 I am finding out how truly abused I was growing up, learning more about who I truly am. As an Army Vet thank you, thank you for helping me more than the VA has.

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you so much for your service and i am so sorry for all you've endured.🙏 one of my boys is about to join the AF....i am nervous but hopeful for him.💜appreciate you being here with me!

[@rookkun8205]

I love this balanced take on isolation. I try to get myself out in the world more, but I always come back to recharging alone. I'm glad that I don't have to feel like I'm unhealthy, when I'm also mitigating already

[@mac-ju5ot]

I've been isolating since a co worker shot at a policeman then shot herself. She survived abd we t back to work but I had just quit...I didn't need to have the co worker tell me I had read about it and my mother was dyi g..so I'm all done caring for other it was devastating abd raining

[@artemisXsidecross]

Thank you for your visit and agreeing that isolation is by itself is an attribute and has been characteristic for artists, writers, musicians, and a necessary ingredient of their work. Chosen isolation may be one of our attributes of being a human being and using our full mind to explore meaning and consciousness. From my work with horses, they share similar characteristics of selected isolation especially when in a band of wild horses. Most horses both wild and domesticated interact just enough to maintain and no more.

[@carolynsterritt3926]

Thank you for this video. I’ve been going through anxiety and depression. I am isolating. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow.

[@DrKimSage]

So happy you are able to self advocate and receive help - sending love and support today and tomorrow!💜🙏

[@andreak1514]

I had my first appointment last Friday ❤

[@dutchgirldreams4726]

Dr. Sage please reconsider your use of the term bed rotting. This expression brings to mind the horrific case of Lacey Fletcher. She was a 36 year old autistic woman whose parents allowed her to literally melt (rot) into their couch.

[@lukewalker1051]

I thought HFA's isolate because we find society dumb and can't control themselves. 🙂

[@cindyglass5827]

I would say that the 'state' of rotting & looking forward to it &/or planning for it pre-occupies ''quite a bit'' of time time ~ ... Separate point, I've only learned of the ''spoon'' way/example via this video, but ''all'' my life I always '''visualized''' [something quite similar] it is a Tall Glass of OJ the we start each day with. I've always remind myself to pace myself b/c if ''too many'' sips taken, [aka] energy is / in me drained w/ each drink, I'll not have enough to get me through the day ... : ( As I got older / wiser ... I factored in ''others'' [energy vampires / drama queens / workplace b.s. / or neg. family issues] would ''invisibly'' ; ) drink MY O.J. : ( without my 'permission nor ok' ... ; ) + : ( & as I got even older, ''life'' was getting to be way too much, that I'd star a '''New''' Day BUT : ( 1/2 my OJ was already ''drank'' &/OR disappeared upon waking, therefore, I was ''already'' in a deficit, but sadly, the alarm had just gone off & my ''real'' day hadn't even started yet : ( ... In closing, Thank-you for all of your helpful, insightful, raw, real, & ''caring & compassionate'' videos !! Much Appreciated, Cindy : )

[@kavitadeva]

Dr Kim, Thank you for understanding COMPLEX PTSD when it's severe. I want to write to you, and cant find a contact place on your websites. How can I email you personally?? Thanks Kavita

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I think living alone is hard sometimes l think it's hard sometimes

[@BrainDiarrhea]

thank you so much for these videos

[@Ukraine4thewin2.0]

Thank you 🙏

[@marcin3136]

It can also be conscious action, since you don't see the point in getting to know (the girls), because "The Weed" (promotion from The Flower 🌼😆😉) has monopolized your thoughts (taken all the oxygen). In fact, it has its advantages- since there is no point in getting to know (the girls), you can stay home and keep learning/ training/ etc. :D:D:D And what else makes sense? ;))) Of course, only ambiverts can "have fun" like that ;)

[@StarGazer-i4w]

Thank you, Dr. Kim, for sharing this information. You have a gentle way of passing this info on to others. You have no idea how beneficial your advice is to others. Love the new Girl Rotting Podcast BTW 😊❤

[@jenannen4623]

I’m so sorry if you’ve covered this but I’m newer to this community, and I’m just wondering if you’ve covered how to help your partner to understand why it’s helpful to do these things (“rotting” aka decompressing after socializing or work etc.)?? Especially if you have a harder time expressing why you’re needing them to begin with. Thank you and so grateful I found your videos!!! ❤

[@gember1382]

As an extravert with complex trauma and HSP, it's sometimes even harder because I love being around people and doing fun things and being in groups. But...yes people and life itself trigger me constantly and cause me anxiety. So I'm anxious before, during, but especially after moments of interaction, but I also like and need it. But i know now that I need to have moments or days for and by myself (and my cats ❤) with no one else around.

[@forestfairie51]

I have complex trauma and eating disorder (to numb out painful feelings whilst waiting for support)...l homeschool a 14 year old who is autistic and recently a single mum so the pressure feels a lot. I only like very authentic people as I've been let down by 'friends' promising me things (I never asked for) but don't follow through I'm self contained and prefer to be in my own company because I've been let down too many times. I love days out on my own in fact I prefer...still I must admit I do often feel painfully lonely at times. I feel a lot of grief from many things so being with myself I feel is the only person I can rely on.

[@flyygurl18]

Fantastic video Dr Kim...will be sharing and omg I am so excited about your interview with Nicole; very cool!🥰😍

[@suzannetunnicliffe2422]

Hello Kim from Suzanne in UK. Thank you for your video as it's very much applicable to me. Can you message me the 3 books that you mentioned at the end of this video as I would like to look into them. Regards Suzanne

[@johnschmid865]

Dr Kim you are the best. You’ve helped me understand myself, my past, and heal more than you can ever know. Thanks for everything

[@pianodesu]

Loving this video, dissolves all the guilt regarding isolation and brings validation instead

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

I never wanted to be in this stinkhole reality. How's that for sensitivity?

[@MayvenFunk]

I feel sexy like I always have. I love meeting new, interesting people.

[@Materialworld4]

Dr. Sage, this is the happiest I have ever seen you in the past two years, congratulations! Obviously something you are doing is working beautifully for you, and that's nice to see.

[@MayvenFunk]

Money plays a big roll in what may appear to be isolation. People can't afford to go places. I will soon because I'm getting a roommate to cut my costs.

[@MayvenFunk]

I love men, good photographers, parties and dancing.

[@LindyLooo99]

It's a way to get out of the "war zone"...... unfortunately we tend to gravitate toward people who are not well, if we are not well. And then the war continues. So sometimes I need to "regroup" and "re-evaluate" my choices.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I gotta have oral facial surgery on my teeth straightened l gotta have surgery soon am not looking forward to it

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Being alone is good sometimes am walking around unheal trauma

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I'm trying to recover from addiction and certain things

[@deec411]

I watched 6 hours of TV a day as a child. 😢😢😢

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I feel worthless feeling alone it's hard sometimes

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I think being single and alone it's hard sometimes

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I still have my walls up little bit l feel like l have been walking on eggshells

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Plus am a chronic complainer

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Am getting my dentures soon

[@michellemarini5128]

It's a time to rest and heal safely!

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I have been lacking energy

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I feel like am not good enough

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I do have a chronic illness

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I do need a lot of recovery time

[@diana-cy4kj]

I can really relate!

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Yeah

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I think it's hard being alone am so used to the crowd

[@MayvenFunk]

As an extroverted model, I can't stand being alone day after day. I need to make more money.