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Cartman wakes up from a coma and police detectives believe that his head trauma may have resulted in psychic abilities.
"Cartman's Incredible Gift" S08
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INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Cartman is laying on a hospital bed hooked up to all kinds of shit with black and blue closed eyes and one of those huge tubes in his mouth.
We can only hear his breathing and the sounds of his beeping heart, while a nurse and the doctor takes notes. We HEAR running high heel footsteps and then--
Cartman's mother rushes in the door wearing a coat and holding her purse.
CARTMAN'S MOM
OH MY GOD!!! ERIC!!!
She runs to his side.
CARTMAN'S MOM (CONT'D)
Eric mommy's here! Sweetie?! Well, what's wrong with him?!
DOCTOR
I'm afraid that your son is - incredibly stupid. He thought he could fly with cardboard wings. The stupidity is so severe that it caused a fall... which has put him into a deep coma.
CARTMAN'S MOM
A COMA?! My God for how long?!
DOCTOR
There's no telling. He may never recover. We'll just have to wait... and see...
DRAMATIC MUSIC soars as the Camera slowly BOOMS up.
EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY
A long establishing as MUSIC CONTINUES to show a passage of time.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Slowly boom down to find Cartman asleep on his hospital bed, not hooked up to as many things any more, and with a beard.
His eyes twitch and then slowly open.
CARTMAN
Urghgh...
Cartman's mom is reading next to him, and notices.
CARTMAN'S MOM
Oh my-- DOCTOR HE'S AWAKE!!!!
The doctor rushes over to Cartman's side and his mom stands next to him.
CARTMAN
Where... Where am I?
CARTMAN'S MOM
Oh you've finally come back! It's a miracle!
DOCTOR
You're at the hospital, Eric. You've been in a coma for some time.
CARTMAN
Coma... How long?
DOCTOR
It's been two days. Nurse, you can remove his face warmer now.
NURSE
(as she does)
Yes, doctor.
She pulls the one piece beard off of Cartman and he looks normal again.
DOCTOR
Now, Eric, you've suffered massive head trauma. Your road to recovery will be long and arduous. At least another two days.
EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY
The song plays again.
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Cartman's mom is at his side as he lays in bed. She pours a drink into his mouth.
CARTMAN'S MOM
You're doing so much better, muffin!
CARTMAN
Why the hell do I have to share a room with other patients this is bull crap!
CARTMAN'S MOM
Ooh! You're sounding just like your old self again!
Meanwhile, two detectives are standing at the bed of murder victim with Doctor Gauche as the nurse pulls a sheet over the victim's face.
DOCTOR
I'm sorry, detectives, there was nothing we could do.
The nurse starts to pull the sheet over the girls face.
DETECTIVE 1
Dammit! Another murder victim! For three YEARS the left hand killer has been at large and I've exhausted every lead! Maybe... I just don't have what it takes to be a cop any more.
DETECTIVE 2
We better get back to the station, sir.
CARTMAN
Good because you assholes have kept me up for three hours!
DETECTIVE 1
Alright, let's go Murphy.
(looking all around)
Hang on a second, where are my car keys?
CARTMAN
Probably in your front pocket, dumb ass!
The detective gets a quizzical look, and then reaches into his front pocket - jingle, jingle - he pulls out his keys and stares at them.
DETECTIVE 1
Doctor, Didn't you say that kid suffered head trauma.
DOCTOR
Yes, it was... pretty severe.
DETECTIVE 2
What is it, Lou?
DETECTIVE 1
I've... Heard cases where people suffering head trauma awaken to some psychic abilities.
DETECTIVE 2
Aw come on, sir!
DETECTIVE 1
I know it's ridiculous, but I'm going to explore every possibility I can!
(to Cartman)
Hello young man, could we have a quick word with you?
CARTMAN
Not now. The nurse is going to walk in any minute with my lunch.
Just then the nurse walks in carrying a tray.
NURSE
Twelve-thirty, Eric, lunch time...
The detectives look at each other in astonishment as the nurse starts to lay the tray in front of Eric.
DETECTIVE 1
Young man, how did you KNOW the nurse was going to walk in just now?
CARTMAN
(getting ready to eat)
I dunno, I just knew it.
(smells)
Oh man, this smells like meatloaf again?!
The nurse lifts the metal cover off the plate revealing meatloaf and peas.
NURSE
Yup! Meatloaf again!
Now the detectives really look astonished.
DETECTIVE 2
Jesus... how did he...
DETECTIVE 1
Little boy... Well, it's a snowball's chance in hell but- we were wondering if you could come down and see if your... new powers could help us catch the killer.
CARTMAN'S MOM
His new POWERS?