Author Charles Duhigg explores how and why some people are better at handling conversations

Pulitzer Prize winning author and journalist Charles Duhigg is out with a new book where he explores why some people are better at communicating than others. Jeff Glor has more.
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[@msg3tr1ght]

I miss having full fledged conversations with people and both parties asking questions. Most people just like talking about themselves, asking how are you so they don’t seem selfish and if you say fine, they bring the conversation back to themselves. It’s very lonely and I wish people asked me more questions.

[@sirmadam8183]

Ok never described myself as this but I am probably a super communicator. People are always saying, "How do you meet people so easily?"; "Why do you always leave with a number?" I talk to everybody every where and most seem to want to be my friend. It was not always this way. It happened to me when I became super interested in other people.

[@LoganGraceHope]

Funny, I always ask questions because small talks gives me anxiety however I've had people say things to me like "you ask a lot of questions ".

[@NancyMitchell1965]

Yes, yes, yes, ask questions! The loneliest time in my life was raising my son who has autism. It would have meant the world to me if someone--anyone--was caring and curious enough to ask a simple question like: "What is it like to parent a child with autism?" Instead, everyone told me a story about their neighbor's cousin's ex-boyfriend who had a kid with autism.

[@Evermorecurious]

This needs to be nurtured from a very young age. As a child I would’ve loved for my curiosity to be appreciated more.

[@cgrahn8200]

Nobody asks questions anymore. Everyone in America just likes to talk about themselves, one-up each other, and try to redirect topics back to themselves. 🤦‍♂️

[@christophergraves6725]

I was impressed by the questions that the professor posed to the students. They elicited highly personal, revealing in-depth answers that allowed the two people to connect with each other at more than a superficial level. Small talk while all right for openers, thwarts this deeper involvement so that people have an illusion of contact with another person while they are avoiding the other person as well as themselves.

[@MNP208]

So… I was just told that my coworkers complain that I ask too many questions. 😂😂

[@AJ8888able]

This is an interesting conversation. I wouldn't naturally pick up a book on this topic to read, but I'm going to add it to my list.

[@elena-251]

Thank you 🙏

[@debbralehrman5957]

This is very interesting. Good story.👍🏼🌷

[@mike110111]

I love this

[@als7132]

I agree that asking questions is essential in any conversation. However, I heard nothing new or different today from the discussion-only the best with the sale of your new book.

[@cityonfoot6023]

So the moments of human interaction are the best parts of someone's day, even when they're introverts? Interesting. So is being an introvert mostly being easily overwhelmed by interactions, and needing alone moments before getting back?

[@teresaharris-travelbybooks5564]

This is all so true. My daughter and I have both noticed that our co workers only want to talk about themselves; their children, their vacations, their problems. No one ever ASKS about US. Or if they do, it's only a superficial interest, they make a superficial reply, and then they go back to talking about themselves. I have one co worker who literally never stops talking long enough for me to say anything! Mabe that's why social media is wildly popular. At least; in KZbin commenting; you can express yourself without being interrupted. I think I'm good at communicating. The problem is getting people to engage with me in the same way.

[@swikfors]

One major observation about the scene in the University of Chicago classroom was there were hardly any males in the class. There’s a story there too!

[@gemmeldrakes2758]

Actually I would find the questions in the survey too intrusive for a first encounter. What about small talk? The study seems to be deliberately designed to create a sense of connection by asking rather personal questions from the get go. So of course, the particpants feel a connection. I wonder if the results would be different if the researchers used standard Ice breaker questions, like where are you from? Or what do you fo for fun?

[@bucketofbarnacles]

Before people graduate from high school, there are 12 years during which something this basic and critical can be taught. Our society and school systems are missing a golden opportunity.

[@thepromises2882]

People in 12 Step have been communicating this way since at least 1936.

[@KK-pm7ud]

Did all of the men decide to skip class that day?