Going it alone

According to a recent study, nearly half of Americans now say they sometimes or always feel alone, and one in five says they rarely or never feel close to anyone. And researchers say that the more social media we use, the lonelier we are likely to be. Susan Spencer talks with John Francis (a man who talked to no one for 17 years), and with doctors who say loneliness can lead to increased mortality equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. She also meets with the founder of the "Sidewalk Talk" community listening project, where people are invited to speak out to perfect strangers.
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[@natalialopes719]

When I was married in the 70's there was no technoogy. I remember how lonely I felt. My husband could be in the same room as me and I had never felt so lonely. Because he had no interest in me. Now that I live alone, I seldom feel lonely. I love the comfort of my home. I connect with people when I need to. I have learned a long time ago to buy myself flowers when I want them. Unfortunately, society is set up for couples. People are uncomfortable with me not having a partner. But I am perfectly happy. No loneliness at all.

[@rusty3831]

Natalia Lopes - The only thing worse than being alone is being in a so-called relationship with someone who makes you feel alone. I love your paragraph because I discovered this many, many years ago. I am so comfortable in my own skin, happy with myself ( I have a lot of room for improvement...LOL!), and can come & go as I please with who I please. It’s not a bit daunting at all. I admire couples who truly love each other, but those couples are getting more & more rare. I’m glad to be who I am, where I am. Btw, I will say that I have a great, great relationship with God. Wouldn’t trade that for the world. I’m happy for you ☺️☺️

[@boohere2]

I grew up to there were no really cell phones until I got to junior high about.In high school there was more cell phones. Android and Apple had not come out yet.It was mostly all about Blackberry, LG and Motorola. As for social media, myspace was the major hit when I was in high school. That is all there ever was. Anyways, what kids like myself did back in those days when their were no really cell phones yet was play outside and watch tv too. I would invite kids over to hang out in such. Even to this day,I am not really attached to my cell phone looking up things constantly.

[@2degucitas]

I know how it feels to be invisible to a spouse. He dominates the conversation, we live in his town, his families house. Yet, he has tuned me out and shown no interest in my world or thoughts for 33 years. He isn't a friend.

[@em-jp4xt]

2degucitas Have you considered a fresh start?

[@asingreat4630]

2degucitas Are you financially able to decide your future?

[@lagaman11]

I have to say, the older I get, the more, and more, I find myself enjoying, and even seeking out, solitude. Turns out, I like myself. I'm damn good company.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

I'm alone a lot, too, but I can't stand myself

[@lagaman11]

Oh come on, give yourself a chance. You might like what you find.

[@bdflatlander]

I feel the same way. I am 67, married, but I find I like being by myself more and more the older I get. I would rather be by myself than in the company of people I really don’t care to be with. I spent too much time in corporate America having to be around people 8 hours a day, some of whom I despised - people who acted like they were my friend but who would think nothing of stabbing me in the back if it would be to their benefit. I think one of the reasons I like to be alone is because I don’t really trust most people based on my work experiences (I have been retired for 9 1/2 years). Too much forced socializing, nonsensical small talk and brown nosing people I couldn’t stand because they were in a position to affect my continued employment and therefore my financial well being.

[@lagaman11]

@@bdflatlander 10-4, Spot on correct. I have been the "go to guy" here at my corporate job for the last 15 years. The despicable amount of back stabbing and brown nosing is enough to make a person completely lose faith in humanity. I am not old enough to collect social security, but I am contemplating a very early exit. Good for you that you made it out while still sane. Blessings!

[@willieboy8798]

90% of inmate find they cant stand themselves. im with you I have two cabin properties I am by myself for days and im damn good company. I watch documentaries and try to learn something new everyday!

[@tootz1950]

The loneliest I ever felt was when I was married. For many, many years.

[@2degucitas]

I hear you.

[@weirdgirl7475]

Me as well. I figured I might as well be single if I already feel alone. Lol

[@blank3115]

Yep

[@tootz1950]

@@weirdgirl7475 I think it's because you keep hoping something will happen to make it change...but it never does, so yeah, single.

[@weirdgirl7475]

@@tootz1950 yeah i felt like that in my marriage. Things didn't get better cause we didn't change or didn't want to change. Ironically we changed, for the better i think, after being divorced. ☺

[@auntbutchify]

The loneliest I've ever felt was being surrounded by people who claim to care, but actually don't.

[@kyleebrock]

I watched this...alone...on my phone...CBS is my friend now...

[@daphnelattimer9952]

Me too. Don't lose hope, Kyle. Someone in this big, old world is thinking of you at this very moment.

[@calebmatthews2026]

Can I borrow your noose when you’re done with it?

[@daphnelattimer9952]

@@calebmatthews2026 C'mon now.

[@rose4490]

I'm watching on my phone, but I'm not alone, because I have my Siamese cat sitting on my lap.

[@kyleebrock]

@@calebmatthews2026 Mousse...you mean mousse.

[@LeahLeah222]

I’ve lived alone since 2009 and rarely get lonely, I enjoy the peace.

[@DDee-oi6kn]

I love being by myself - it gives me peace - I've not had much peace in my lifetime and now that I can experience it - it is just the best. I find the less I tell people about my life, the better I feel, the less I react with people, the happier I am - I feel people share way too much of their lives in social media nowadays. I just keep my business to myself.

[@mr.gogetter1828]

But when a stranger says hello to you, you have to allow yourself to keep an open mind.

[@blahblah1438]

I feel the same

[@Pntngbrn]

While I do get lonely once and a while, it's less and less the older I get. I had a lot of noise and bad relationships in my life. I feel more peaceful now than I ever have

[@politicaltwinkie2370]

It is a sad testimony to believe people together are really friends. A wedding does not mean one have a marriage.

[@DDee-oi6kn]

@@Pntngbrn- when you said "a lot of noise" I hear you - my life has never been peaceful till now. Family relationships very hard. I moved away from family 15 years ago and have never been happier.

[@teddyjam8134]

He kept his distance from people because he knows how full of crap they are and needed a break.

[@boohere2]

if you feel alone or lonely, GET A DOG.

[@tizodd6]

New Jack Swing : I agree. The longer I live, the more of a misanthrope I become.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

At first glace I thought there was something wrong with this man. Now I'm thinking, "dude, you have it figured out!"

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Pasta Chocolate: Or a cat. But dogs are awesome, too

[@sandraphillips2969]

@@boohere2 Or a picture of a dog. :)

[@lisamay5649]

Real loneliness isn't when you're by yourself. Real loneliness is when you're with someone and not feeling like they really care about what you have to say. Little nuances in conversations indicate this, especially when they don't acknowledge you or ask questions about what you're talking about, or especially when they change the subject or when you've told them something that meant something to you. I have a friend who does this pretty often. And it shows me that she doesn't really care that much about me. That speaks volumes.

[@christinepizzi6197]

@Lisa May Then she is no friend to you...

[@Chet_Brinkley]

I'm sorry, did you say something ?

[@elizabethbayless8867]

Your definition can be true but you also CAN feel alone when you’re by yourself.

[@Chet_Brinkley]

@@elizabethbayless8867 My former best friend wouldn't open up to me. She was zipped tight when it came to her feelings. Otherwise she was wonderful and a beautiful social person, I was proud of her.

[@Chet_Brinkley]

I know, what can you say ?

[@tiff7880]

I'm a hairstylist,I see multiple clients a day. When I get home I dont want to talk to anyone!! I've never joined social media. I am more of a face to face. It's all so fake.

[@susan8282]

Lol, I wish more hairstylists would stop talking to me while cutting my hair!

[@tiff7880]

I'd welcome a silent salon!🤣

[@susan8282]

Are those even a thing? What a great idea!👍😁

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

On a totally unrelated topic, people who use pictures of their cats are totally AWESOME!

[@RG-hf4et]

When I get my hair cut, I am forced to sit & be still. I make my small talk early on -hi, how are you? How are things? etc. then I just sit & chill & close my eyes. I am exhausted all of the time so it feels good to close my eyes. My hairdresser knows me long enough to know I need quiet time plus she is quiet, too.......PLUS, nonstop talkers are distracting to the operator so people, keep quiet and let the hairdresser do their thing & you will get done QUICKER.

[@rusty3831]

The only thing worse than being alone is being in a so-called relationship with someone who makes you feel alone. I discovered this many, many years ago. I am so comfortable in my own skin, happy with myself ( I have a lot of room for improvement...LOL!), and can come & go as I please with who I please. It’s not a bit daunting at all. I admire couples who truly love each other, but those couples are getting more & more rare. I’m glad to be who I am, where I am. Btw, I will say that I have a great, great relationship with God. Wouldn’t trade that for the world. Peace to each and everyone of you!! God loves you...and so do I.

[@lorrainelavender-sams3546]

AMEN!

[@rachelwilliams3108]

I am exactly the same as you. Eternity will never be enough time to say THANKYOU to our FATHER. I REFUSE to fornicate so I have been called every horrible name and lies have been spread to create a reputation. I know the attacks are from the adversary and I ignore it. It keeps me close to FATHER.

[@annanicole1717]

@@rachelwilliams3108 you’ve lost your mind.

[@gaymichaelis7581]

Anna Nicole, I don’t think Rachel Williams has lost her mind! Way to go, Rachel!!!

[@MM-Iconoclast]

@@annanicole1717 Here is a translation for you: 'I'm single, and I sometimes go on dates, but when guys find out that I won't have sex outside of marriage (it's against my belief system), they become really negative, and some have even called me names. It's been hard, but I rely on my faith to get me through'. There - is that more understandable?

[@jordandior3191]

Nothing better than being alone. No compromising, no petty arguments with idiot partners, doing whatever I want, whenever and however I want. Being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. Adopt pets, you'll never be lonely again.

[@lisamay5649]

Jordan Dior: Pets can be better than spouses. They love you unconditionally and are always honest about how they feel. Problem is, dogs or cats, don't live as long as humans. Cockatoo or macaws live longer.

[@loriellenbrochhagen9908]

Some of us choose to be alone... geez, society makes us sound pathetic when the truth is we are just not buying into this stuff. ~💜~

[@ourblueheavendesign]

He’s not talking about “being alone.” He’s talking about the intimacy of friendship, love or close friend. It’s about close relationships. I’ve lived alone for over 20 years but very little time feeling alone.

[@ourblueheavendesign]

tygersflowerz you don’t need romance in your life, yes it’s nice but there’s always going to be times when you just don’t have it. Hard sometimes as that may be, its better to be alone physically than to be with someone you don’t love. Better to have close friends.

[@shakemadaise2896]

Yesssss, I moved from NY to NC to be alone. I was constantly around people but felt so alone, here in NC I enjoy the quietness. I don't feel only down here and I don't even have many friends. I decided it was okay

[@UXtatic]

Thank you. There is also an increased mortality with people in stressful relationships.

[@savannahm.laurentian1286]

I think they don't understand things not black and white, like vast space between narcissism and self love, and misanthropy and self love.

[@pepper1188]

The loneliest I ever felt was when I was in a bad relationship. There's a huge difference between being alone and lonely never assume that somebody who is uncoupled is lonely. Because I've never been happier

[@Schocam]

Agree. Many people always want singles to get married. But they never think that if marriage, sex and partnership is the perfect answer to solve loneliness or being alone.

[@humanbeing5396]

Been single for almost 8 years. Love it!

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

The loneliest I've ever felt was in a crowd of people. I don't mind being alone- in fact I crave it - but there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely

[@SSNESS]

MGTOW

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

@@SSNESS - That’s great if that’s what you want.

[@sylvie395]

Your comment just reminded me of a lyric from a song I used to listen to: "Being lonely's only fun in a group, but sort of loses its charm when it's true"

[@BrokenInTheBox]

I'm perfectly fine being by myself; it's being around others I can't stand.

[@BrokenInTheBox]

@bigboy well I'd say that depends on who I'm with and what we're doing. There's nothing wrong with being ok with one's self. Being alone doesn't equate to being lonely. Most people aren't ok with being by themselves. I'd rather spend time with myself doing hobbies, or learning new things, rather than listen to a group of people make meaningless small talk. #ToEachTheirOwn

[@BrokenInTheBox]

@bigboy so they say, still, I prefer to hang out with dogs & cats though. They're much less gossipy...lol

[@Jeffsafe]

I’m alone but never lonely

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Never? I mean, not even once in your entire life? I'm calling the bull Shi% card.

[@Jeffsafe]

Shane Whitefeather seriously, but it maybe be because I’m still working and see long term clients during the month.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Jeffrey Hahn: OK, I'll buy that, bro. Cool. Basically I was just trying to be a wisenheimer. P.S. Are you a gigalow? You see, there I go again, being a wisenheimer

[@Jeffsafe]

Shane Whitefeather as a matter of fact ... just a Gigalow every where I go.

[@graefe827]

If there isn't one already, I need to start a petition for not allowing KZbin comments to be deleted. Especially since everyone on here is anonymous anyway.

[@caroldenny4974]

Well Valentine’s Day is the anniversary of my divorce. Still working on single life in my 60’s. Life goes on. I was more alone in my marriage than I am now

[@johnandrew1727]

I’m 65 and even when I had a girlfriend I always gave flowers to the wrong woman and forget to give to other.

[@jprevatt]

🌸❤💖💗🌸

[@davidbacon9223]

woman as (homeless) pack mule!.......... hiking up into the black forest, every night! (rain).......... "don't know what they're doin' with their lives" (Tangled Up In Blue/ Bob Dylan).......... work will make you free, honey bunny!!!.......... ???

[@marite135]

Valentine day was the day of my first marriage, it ended up in a bad divorce. Now divorced for a second time I am fine. Have a good day and take care of yourself

[@marksweeney2698]

"Keep charging "

[@westrex]

I'm in my 50's now and I've been alone most of my life and I've learned to accept and enjoy it. However I must admit that I seriously regret my solitary lifestyle when I get sick. It makes me deeply sad when I have have the flu and don't have anyone to look after me.

[@bodyweightkiller]

Trust me, you're not missing much. My experience with those that are caretakers, either brief or indefinite, are miserable and complain the whole time that they have this burden, and they generally take it out on the sick.

[@debrabelton3161]

Find a good church. Many have ministries that help you to connect with others or check on you when you are sick.

[@Mjgirl55]

Yes I totally understand that. I'm 63 and have lived independently for the last three years. I still work full time as an RN 26 years exclusively in long term care and rehab. I have a supportive family but they're 6 hours away on Jacksonville. I enjoy being alone, but a couple of weeks ago I tested positive for the flu. Its rough and lonely being sick alone, but you just do what you have to do to get through it. Much love and many blessings to you and to everyone feeling alone tonight. Remember your Angel's are always with you..just ask them to be by your side for protection and healing. 🙏😇💜

[@alskndlaskndal]

I relate to this as well. Been single my whole life, for various reasons. Sometimes I very much enjoy it. My time is my own (I do have a job, etc., but still lots of time to do what I want). On the other hand, I think about what will happen when I get old and can't do everything for myself. No partner, no kids to help me. Will my friends still be there? Or will they be sick themselves or dealing with their own families? Will I end up being cared for by a stranger in some institution?

[@mcapril291]

Same. I enjoy my solitude. I do have 2 close friends but they have family so I hate to bother them. I still work and I have church so I do have an outlet to socialize. It is the worst when you are sick and alone. That is probably the only time I feel lonely. I do have pets so that helps too.

[@XX-gy7ue]

I'm writing this because of the comments I just read here - - everything takes courage , it takes great courage to walk alone , and it takes great courage to open up to another human - but we've been given brains , use them - find people who are worthy of your trust ( despite all our individual faults ) - it is good to have needed solitude , but friendship is also a beautiful and life giving state !

[@lisamay5649]

@X X: "...people who are worthy of your trust," is KEY! 🎯

[@billcampbell9886]

"I was a lonely child; even my imaginary friends went down the street to play with other kids." ~ Will Thorn

[@peggyharris3815]

Lol...that's a good one!

[@adventurebabyboomer7318]

Bingo! That's it. People want to be heard. Lots of crap happens in their lives and no one listens.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Catherine Cote: Well I'm listening at this very moment. And you know what? You're right! Peace

[@fml5910]

And no one cares.

[@stevemorelli1451]

Catherine Cote ......hi Catherine....😊

[@jazzminenelson7193]

So damn true.

[@lisamay5649]

@Catherine's Cote: As a paraprofessional working in the mental health field for over 20 years, that's the common thread that runs through most mental health issues. As a counselor, I've seen for countless times, people just want that deep connection of being really heard. Healing comes from that relationship of trust and safety and knowing someone really cares and a place of non-judgment.

[@elizdonovan5650]

Love his drawings and 🖼 paintings. ☘️🌝🌲

[@mattsanchez4893]

I just lost my dog to illness, I haven’t felt this lonely in a very long time…our pets can really enrich our lives

[@jenl3162]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure he was intensely loved. ❤️

[@mattsanchez4893]

@@jenl3162 thanks so much

[@tizodd6]

Social media addiction has become a cancer on society. I can't count how many places I've been and people I've seen where instead of communicating with the people around them, people have their heads down starring at their phones.

[@venessaabrams8687]

It is the anti Christ. Social media is mind control and it mostly vanity and lies. Not falling for it. I am not going to be apart of the walking dead....

[@mr.gogetter1828]

We're living in an anti-social society. Meaning, we're not willing to communicate face-to-face and instead, rely on our gadgets to do so.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Emotionally lazy

[@kellyroberts7268]

So true!!! Technology is robbing us our precious humanity!!

[@chicanapunkLA]

I have a bunny & a cat that always look forward to being with me... That's special

[@georgethompson3763]

Why is it that so many lonely people crave sincere, selfless friendships, and yet they don't seem to find other people who feel the same way?

[@toniacollinske2518]

I think this is a very relevant question. In my own experience, speaking as a person who loves solitude, when I've decided it was time for a new fulfilling friendship, I've gone out and deliberately found one. Put myself where such people might be found. Then nurtured it until it either blossomed or faded. I think we have to take responsibility for creating the lives we want and need. Doesn't mean we get everything but we get enough.

[@kvernon1]

And isn't it incredibly ironic the advice given to the lonely people is ... go online and join a social Website! :S

[@lisamay5649]

@@toniacollinske2518 Which means, don't settle for people you can't connect with. They're not worth your time. Life's too short to spend around people who don't appreciate the real you!

[@jogordon1530]

For 54 years I've wandered the earth alone. No husband or kids and I've welcomed that space with just ME. Am I crazy? I don't think so because I've always enjoyed being just with ME. Yes I get lonely once in awhile but still just prefer being with ME and no one else.

[@barbraharvey9251]

I've been single for an extremely long time. I didn't feel lonely until the past 8-10 years since my sister/best friend died and mom. I've been so deviated lovely. I feel alone all the time

[@Bootstataboots]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you and the void is filled.

[@barbraharvey9251]

@@Bootstataboots Thank you

[@johnandrew1727]

I get coffee at local place and talk with strangers but they suck the life out of me if I go there too often. So I go other places and love it when Im ignored.

[@2degucitas]

You are most likely an empath. You listen, you feel and get drained. It's a real talent to show genuine interest in someone that makes them filled up with being understood. You need some of that for yourself.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Werd: That's so sad. My mom was such a nice person and helped so many people but sometimes they ended up just using her. Your post made me sad and even a little mad. I took a brief moment and thought about it, then realized there's truth in it. P.S. You got 5 bucks I can borrow? JUST KIDDING! Hope this silly post cheered you up even for a moment. Peace, Werd. Be alone and relax any time you want, buddy

[@tonysam1955]

I am around people all the time and live with a relative currently, and I cherish my alone time.

[@susieenglish302]

Everyone has a mental health problem, everyone wants money its endless

[@2degucitas]

@@johnandrew1727 Got that right!

[@commonground5214]

At 64, being divorced and having fallen on somewhat hard times I am sometimes desperately lonely. That said, I thank God for my 3 grown daughters and the few friends I DO have because they all are caring and good people. The thing is that none of them are in close proximity. More than anything else I am grateful beyond measure for the relationship I have with my 15 year old son. Though he too is not close in terms of proximity, we email and text eachother often and generaly speak on the phone 2 hours or so weekly. I also vacation with him around five times a year for 5 days or so at time. These reationships usually keep the wolf of lonliness away from the door and have learned to enjoy being alone, but sometimes it's tough. And thats why I am commenting on KZbin LOL!

[@amydecker6207]

I am married, and I really miss singlehood. My privacy is completely gone.

[@tonywalton1052]

Maybe he will dump you.

[@frederickrapp5396]

Yes, your privacy is gone. I get that. When one shares space with another human being, one can’t even go to the bathroom without their partner knowing and hearing exactly what they’re doing. I get that. However, you always have somebody to cuddle with, and that’s very, very, important. And you always have somebody to talk to, to share your problems and feelings with, and who cares about whether you live or die. I’m single, and I don’t have that. That’s the trade off in my opinion.

[@daimonmarioperez9501]

Social media has torn at the fabric of the experience of the human connection to one another. People go on dates, but include their phones. The phones bring social media, now you have hundreds on that date. People are never absolutely engaged with the person that their on the date with. You can be alone, but not be lonely. Yes, I actually have more than 4- friends. It's probably because I've never been big on communicating on social media. My wish would be that, people will see this segment and take the time to engage in a conversation with another human being... I love this show ! Great segment....

[@dreamscape405]

Yes, dating is the worst with the phone behavior. But I was out on a date today, and it wasn't the phone he kept looking at, it was other women. I just kept thinking..how rude, this is the first date and he can't even pay attention to me...needless to say it was a short date. I'm good with being alone but it would be nice to have someone who actually cared about me as a companion. But I've accepted the fact that may never happen, so I just get through the lonely moments (pets are a big help) and enjoy my peaceful life when I'm not feeling lonely. Take care.

[@vinylbuff1515]

I think social media is fine when you are at home bored alone, but I turn off my phone when im with friends unless I need to make a call, ts a great balance

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

I HATE social media to the point I firmly believe anyone spending time on KZbin and writing stupid posts are total losers. Gee, look at me, I'm so important you have to read what I have to say. Get off the internet and live life. No tomorrow, not tonight, but right now, this second. Realize there are more things to do in the real world!

[@tonysam1955]

You don't need a lot of friends. You simply don't need it. It is amazing how brainwashed people are and how much they are missing in life simply because they are afraid of doing anything on their own.

[@tonysam1955]

@@dreamscape405 "Dating" is an idiotic pasttime when you are past forty. It is strictly a young person's game, and, as you get older, it is a waste of time when you can do other pursuits. Women especially are totally brainwashed to think they have to have a man or they are nothing, plus many of them have become accustomed to a big lifestyle that they miss when they no longer have a man around.

[@hejiranyc]

From my personal experience, as someone who grew up as an abused child, solitude is the default option. Lord knows I have tried to be social, but the damage is too great and being on my own gives me the greatest peace. It's not a good thing or a bad thing necessarily... it is the only thing. And I'm okay with it. Not everybody has to walk down the same path in life.

[@user-dc7hk5zp8m]

I can see why you feel as you do. I wish we all had better lives, but what we have overcome as a child, can make us better as an adult.

[@tjwash5118]

I never feel lonely in nature and almost always hike alone. For 9 hours at a time I feel absolutely happy and content and connected, much more than I do in my daily life.

[@MNP208]

Same!!

[@patriciarussell7487]

Alone,retired,empty nest.Single moms end up alone in old age.We don't have time to think of that when we are working,and raising our children.But,only lonely sometimes.Eating out alone,movies,a bit sad.But at home,gardening,reading,cooking.... It's nice.

[@janismacolley2395]

I feel alone only when I'm around other couples that share a life together. I was in a doctor's office the other day and overheard two couples who knew each other talking about mundane things like a church event that was going to happen and when one of the couples was returning up north ( they were snowbirds). It just struck me all of a sudden that I too could have been one of those couples if my husband of 25 yrs hadn't passed away. They all seem so convinced that they deserved to have a place in the world - that they were assured of having the life of domestic comfort where, together, they could keep the evils of the world at bay. It seems they had carved out a life they knew and were assured of. I wanted to tell them not to get too comfortable because, through no fault of their own, things can come crashing down around your head to leave you a one in the world of twos. 😥

[@susieenglish302]

I lpve being alone. I get very overwhelmed in groups or even at work with people i know. I have always been comfortable in my own company

[@Facetimer864]

I was in a relatioship for 10 years, for 9 of those years I felt isolated and lonely. I never knew that I would so look forward to Sitting on my couch alone and feel less lonely th as n I did with them. 10 years wasted but "lesson learned" .

[@marvinmartion1178]

I learned very early in my life, I was alone. Like around 5 years old. Although threw the years I did have friends. Even sometimes close friends. Yet that feeling of being alone always lurkes in the back of my mind.

[@keyshaross2665]

My job requires me to converse, but when I'm on my way home I'm in pure blissful silence and loving it.

[@mr.gogetter1828]

At least it's better than being anti-social on the job.

[@jj7958]

yea it's much needed

[@jimmybutlerformvp9672]

He’s only 73 looks younger

[@baref1959]

always alone. never lonely...

[@sanjuansteve]

If there's one thing humans have taught me, it's that I prefer the animals. :D

[@jimschuman9926]

sanjuansteve : Definitely. You can trust animals and they love you unconditionally. What could be better?

[@stanbalo]

Wow! A very young looking 72 year old John Francis!!! what he went through definitely made an impact on his appearance. He looks radiant! I love what he said at 2:00. It is true that you will feel lonely when you don't want to be alone with yourself. There is fear and anxiety due to our programming that no man is an island but when u get pass all that and really get connected with yourself, you will just have clarity and you will get to know your preferences. You decide what is good for you as opposed to be bombarded by outside ideas that can blur your true judgment. On my end, i am a loner bec i was able to compare being around friends vs being just by myself and i am truly more at ease when i am by myself. Friendships are great but realistically, you guys wont be at the same page all the time and it is give and take for it to work and that can really add stress to you..your real self is always suppressed

[@lagaman11]

WOW! You nailed it.

[@christinacope562]

Going through this dilemma at the moment.

[@stanbalo]

Wow did not realize my post will get likes..thanks so much! A good start is going to the mall alone..watch a movie, eat, shop alone. It is very freeing.

[@Keke-oh6zd]

I was thinking he looked really good for 72. His skin looks abnormally smooth for his age. I am also alone most of the time because it feels just as lonely being around people you have nothing in common with or who doesn't understand you. None of my friends/family understand the way I think. I'd be so happy just for 1 or 2 friends that "get" me.

[@jefflewis4]

Agreed, he looks like he's 40.

[@FA_2_Pilot]

Your phone is just entertainment. Doesn’t substitute for personal interaction

[@mickdavis2385]

@John Rencheck lmao

[@blupyxi5669]

It's a phone.

[@seabeach7]

I am an only child and I love growing up alone. Besides I choose my friends wisely who are positive and encouraging. But I prefer to be by myself in my own thoughts of peacefulness.

[@FacheChanteDeux]

I am so grateful I was in my 20's when social media first hit just before it permiated society. I had the best time having deep conversations and going out with groups of friends. I feel badly when I see all of the superficial pressure young adults are under, and in turn the rise of suicide. People need to start reconnecting. It is essential for their well being.

[@stonew1927]

I'm alone all the time, but I'm never lonely. I love the peace I feel within myself. I find that most people bring complications. I have a few real friends, and enjoy my interactions with them. But I don't engage with them daily. I actually feel sorry for people who are always longing for "someone else" to fulfill them.

[@SSNESS]

People are absolute nightmares once you get to know them, I stay as far away as possible from everyone now, it’s just not worth it anymore and I’m not the slightest bit interested now

[@jdstep97]

Younger people are lonely because we're glued to our devices. Put the phones down, get off FB and meet people, in person. Do community or volunteer service or something.

[@LindaCasey]

The loneliest I ever felt was when I was in love with someone I loved. I'm totally alone now and have never been lonely since. 😛

[@johnweaver1198]

Get a dog and you will never feel alone ... I endorse this message....

[@drewhendley]

More like anti-social media

[@pattyayers]

Why does the interviewer find this subject so hilarious? She never stops grinning and laughing

[@kvernon1]

You never know for sure, but perhaps she doesn't want the public to know she's pretty lonely herself...

[@mindeloman]

I never felt more lonely than when I was a teenager. Inspite of being in a big family, sharing a room with my brother, and having school friends; i was lonely. Felt like no one understood me and did want to understand me. There was no emotional or mental connection with anyone. I buried myself in playing the guitar and chasing the dream of playing like my hero Eddie Van Halen. I also rear A LOT of books. I was really stressed too as adulthood was rapidly approaching and I had no plan for life and had no one to talk to about my fears and hopes. I'm not sure my people think back on teenage years as their best. I would NEVER want to go back and do that again.

[@michellebilodeau3882]

Being a teenager? I hated it.

[@bigcabdaddy]

Wonderful video on an important topic.

[@cityhawk]

As much as I like the time to myself, I don’t want to completely disconnect myself from people as well. It’s good to have some time for self reflection, inner peace, or whatever hobby that makes you happy, but only in moderation. Every once in a while, it’s healthier to reach out to others. I am rich for knowing myself, but I am richer for having others be in my life.

[@toniacollinske2518]

Wow, that's healthy!

[@mr.gogetter1828]

I couldn't have said it better, myself! That was beautifully said.

[@user-dc7hk5zp8m]

I agree, I love my alone time, but I don't ever want to be alone without family.

[@hr6334]

Going it alone has been the best thing I’ve ever done. And quitting alcohol.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Same here. 34 years sober! How bout you, HR?

[@hr6334]

@@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 wow!! That is wonderful! I hope to make it that long. I am proudly 5 years and 2 months sober 🥰 Best decision I have ever made in my life!

[@christinab.2864]

There has to be a difference between lonely and boredom

[@tootz1950]

There's a huge difference. I think most people know the difference.

[@irishdva3237]

I think one of the most valuable things you can learn in life is to learn to be alone. It gives you self confidence and completes something in you. If you learn this, your interaction with others comes from a secure space and makes them more comfortable. You also learn to recognize when you need solitude to maintain your energy for others

[@Bk-uz3pk]

Love you, John Francis, you’re an awesome dude.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

I think he's so awesome too. Ironic thing is, he'd never hang out with us

[@lisagaeta4640]

I like the sidewalk talk idea.

[@adamromero]

So do I, but I prefer it to be in a quiet room instead of a noisy street corner.

[@brettcannon74]

Madonna?

[@nghtwtchmn129]

I can certainly relate to the guy who felt imprisoned in a cubicle.

[@FaithandNova]

@@adamromero maybe in a park?

[@alexandriam814]

Love cbs Sunday morning!!! This is what I enjoy to watch. Reminding people there’s good in the world and to continue the positivity.

[@blueconversechucks]

Even though I can get very deeply lonely, this helps me remember that most of the time I actually want to be alone.

[@michaellovell2518]

Sometimes I'm unhappy when I'm alone, but more often, being around people makes me more unhappy. I've learned to be content with my own company, and I no longer seek the company of others as I did when I was younger. There was no solace for me being alone in a crowd, and I have found that I'm happier when my interactions with others are minimal. Sometimes I get lonely, but I find most people difficult to tolerate for long at a time. I have the impression that others find me equally difficult to tolerate. Every once in a while, I meet someone with whom I "click," but this is rare. I have learned to accept that I am not a "people person," and am generally more comfortable being alone. This should not necessarily be viewed as a bad thing. It is "normal" *for me*, and I do not believe it means there is something wrong with me. I'm just different.

[@bodyweightkiller]

After 2/3rds of a century on this plant, I rarely find conversation interesting anymore, particularly with strangers. I just have no interest in engaging.

[@mr.gogetter1828]

There are non-judgmental groups you can join based on your interests. There are a lot out there, you just have to know where to look.

[@toniacollinske2518]

I agree, most is either repetitive or drivel. But I also know that spending too much time alone, not engaging at all, makes me grumpy and intolerant. We can get too far into our own heads. Sometimes people can be surprising.

[@debbiemarlow4027]

Im 52 and feel the same

[@psecdocumentary]

Conversation can only be interesting when talking to a person who knows what conversation is! Too many people are more shallow than a kiddie pool and if you say more than two sentences you are accused of giving a lecture! Lets make humanity human again! LOL!!!!

[@robertbowersock3471]

I've been a longhaul truckdriver for 20 years. Miss having a lady to share my life with but other than that being alone doesn't bother me. Don't miss office politics in previous jobs I've had.

[@LaDayna04]

I feel lonely when my husband spends more time on his phone then with me.

[@daphnelattimer9952]

Time to tell him to turn off the phone. Put it in the cabinet and go enjoy time as a couple.

[@PapagenoMF]

*than with me

[@mckenna8663]

You have a husband to talk to...... DO IT!

[@namreh72]

No disrespect, drop it like it's hot..or get a new husband. ...lol...or talk to him and let him know how you feel... These guys these day..if I had a wife I would run home to her..

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Dayna Silvey: YES, SO MANY PEOPLE DO THAT. I HATE THAT!!! Sorry for the yelling. I know so many folks like that. They're not bad people. In fact I love some of those people. But what really gets my goat is that I'm sitting right next to you. I'm literally only feet away and believe it or not, I actually have some interesting things to share. Not always, but at times. Give me a chance.

[@dyoung2739]

I loved the solitude of eating alone when I became a parent and lunchtime at work was truly the only hour I had to myself. My kids are grown now but I still love having that time to myself.

[@teresaferrer4748]

I love being alone. It fills me,recharges me.i don't have facebook or Twitter. Thank God for Google and KZbin. I find myself gravitating towards interesting subjects . I'm learning so much. Solitude is sacred to me.

[@gerrydooley951]

Being alone is fine, I've always felt somewhat apart from society. However , when you get older and get sick life can get very difficult. Something as simple as getting a ride to and from the doctor can become very difficult. Friends are great but no one cares about you like family, I recently found this out.

[@toniacollinske2518]

Boy, I sure know what you mean. My family is all gone now. I'm fortunate to be in pretty good shape for an old gal but I have had this thought occur frequently, what if I get sick? That motivated me to lose weight, eat right and exercise in hopes of avoiding some possible illnesses. But we never know. I've started working on what-if plans, like learning what services are available, etc. It is a difficult position to be in. I wish you the very best.

[@gerrydooley951]

@@toniacollinske2518 Thanks Tonia best to you as well

[@gerrydooley951]

@@DOTMH_1 too late, I'm 64

[@Sunshine4]

Gerry Dooley friends make/have their own families and less time for individual relationships. Sucks, but it’s life.

[@sandrap.6530]

Check with what your city/town has to offer. My city has a volunteer group that - if you are over age 60 - will drive you to & from doctor's offices or hospitals for treatments. There's also a franchise Caring Man with a Van who you can hire to pick you up from the hospital when they require you to have a driver to pick you up after a procedure involving anesthesia. People working front desks at medical facilities also know who you can call for transportation assistance.

[@twistedtrails8128]

Well, if you`re gonna be alone for that long, you may as well like yourself. Just think of all the time you have to spend with you...

[@kaylawalker312]

Twisted Trails I love my ALONE time!!😀❤️

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

I can't stand myself so I make sure to share my misery with others

[@missmsmrs.7309]

This amazing Gentleman has truly inspired me. Since I tend to over-share I need to chill and see how long I can CONTINUE. People around me will be happy - No Doubt. Thank you CBS for this great story.

[@lw3269]

First Valentines alone in 38 years, since my spouse of 36 years decided they were gay. It's a little lonely, but honestly, I am enjoying my freedom and self reliance. I actually love going to movies alone. Also re-connecting with friends and family that were somewhat distant. It is a matter of perspective, I think.

[@rachelwilliams3108]

Wow, that must have been a shocking thing to find out. I have heard gay men marrying women to hide . also have had it happen to my aunt, but her husband was gay to little boys, finally got put in prison for life. So gross.

[@leilanikuuipo6004]

WOW amazing, he looks mid 50's if even that. No wrinkles. This man is a reminder of my late mother who never shared any private info w/ anyone but her best friend. My mother was a mom, not my best friend and she taught me well. No sharing private info on anything to anyone and you have only 1 friend in this life is best. Jesus first always.

[@joannoriol6444]

Important video. Being alone does not always equal loneliness, sometimes it is a choice. If you choose it, you can always go out amongst people and feel that energy. You can see a friend when you want too. Some people feel alone in a room containing a significant other. I love strangers (sort of Scarlet O hara) I always start conversations, not enough to annoy them, but just a smile and sometimes, most time a stranger will say something. I am not closed to a close relationship with a man, but it hasn't happened since a long time ago. 🌻

[@Nethanel773]

Thank you for putting this up.

[@julialxndr]

This one made me cry this morning. At 6 minutes 20 seconds in.

[@stephaniehansen5162]

Amazing piece!! Thank you!!😊 So grateful for the few close friends I have!!

[@Libnletlib]

I'd much rather be alone than be with someone and either feel alone or wishing I was

[@danclark1348]

Exactly my thoughts/findings on lonliness. The past 7yrs being lonely, not alone. 8 months now housesharing with 2 younger people ( one I known 12 yrs), the other about 4. Also 3 kids, 2 cats. I'm more lonely here than when I lived alone for 2yrs. As it's said on this segment, when those you are with seldom bother with you, feels more lonely than actually living alone. Never married, a few dates over the decades and now aged 65. In 1982 spent the summer in a rental at a shore town. Never felt lonely. It's the outside contacts with people- be it stores, beach, boardwalk. Then return to my summer rental. Loved it that way. Here I am now in a house with 5 others and more lonely than having no one here. Because they seldom interact with me. I do go to a senior center once a week, see 2 others on Wednesdays, Saturday its 4 others I socialize with. When walking along a scenic trail very close to home, small talk I have with others there. Feel fine with them. When home- hardly any interaction.

[@jbbevan]

I'm 75 and have been widowed twice and am currently "alone"... most people therefore assume that I'm a good candidate for being lonely....but I rarely am. In 1971 while getting an MBA I took Organizational Behavior from Stephen R. Covey (18 years before he wrote his iconic book). I used that philosophy liberally in industry (worked 51 years in manufacturing) and also taught it to many groups both informally and formally (at a university for 8 semesters). After the death of my 2nd wife, I decided that I needed to walk my talk and resorted to Covey's 7th Habit (personal balance) as an outline for the perfect retirement being active in Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional, and Spiritual projects. The Social/Emotional keeps me active with other people...both family and friends...but the "friends" are usually "old friends" who I haven't interacted with for most of 50 years but I have many active friends with whom I associate that go back 40, 50 or even 60 years. When I am together with them, I am certainly anything but lonely. But being a (Meyers-Briggs) INFJ my inner-life is such that I am very rarely lonely when I'm alone. I have literally chosen not to be lonely. And am pleased to say that, for me, that has worked out (but I owe a huge debt to Dr. Covey who very clearly and personally pointed the way to escaping that sort of end ... long before it ever happened).

[@michelemaliano7860]

I would love to meet this man. I have so many questions about his solitude journey.

[@tracycagliero129]

He seems like a fascinating man. He has a comforting speaking voice, I bet he’s a great storyteller!

[@ShlisaShell]

Not feeling understood is the biggest cause of loneliness. Make sure our youngins and loved ones are feeling understood.

[@hoanpham2757]

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story

[@ticnatz]

I feel so fortunate that I have never experienced loneliness ever in my life. I cherish my solitude. Growing up in a large family probably contributed to this.

[@user-dc7hk5zp8m]

I also come from a big family, and alone time was hard to get, but as an adult Im glad I sent every day with my family as a child. I miss my family very much.

[@whatmeworry7184]

I have always known that when social media came on the scene, more and more people would be lonely. Computer interaction is a poor substitute for actual interactions.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Dusty Moth: I quite agree. That's why I never go on social media and laugh at these loser that put up KZbin comments. They're always so self important and annoying.

[@whatmeworry7184]

@@shanewhitefeather6298 "They're always so self important and annoying."

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Dusty Moth: Hey, that's not nice. How dare you, Dusty. I'm not self important even though I have the best and most insightful comments on the entire page. This page should spend more time on my thoughts as they are amazing. Second, I'm not annoying. So stop the comments or I will continue to post comments whether you like them or not. I mean, I will just keep posting till nobody can stand me any more! I've got time, too. Don't have any friends and nobody will hang out with me. So stop being a loser and spend all your time on the internet!~

[@whatmeworry7184]

@@shanewhitefeather6298 Lol, I totally understand. This is why FB, twitter and other unmentionables are cancer. I do like a good forum though.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

Dusty Moth: This one is actually a pretty good forum

[@spicybrown75]

I choose to not interact with other people unless I have to because interacting with other people makes me stressed out from their stupidity 🤣🤣

[@spicybrown75]

@faultroy yes, as I have become middle aged, it's getting harder to put up with the bs...even from your loved ones. As the saying goes if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. Hence I minimize to be in situations where I cannot help but speak up. I am such a curmudgeon just like my old cat 🤣🤣

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

theindian mom: Hey, stupid people need conversation, too! In fact, now that I think of it, they're the ones that never shut up. Guess what I'm saying is ... you nailed it! Oh no, I hope you don't think I'm stupid. Wouldn't that be ironic.

[@spicybrown75]

@@shanewhitefeather6298 not at all...you seem to be an aware person 😁

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

theindian mom: Thank you, theindian mom. You are very aware as well. Have a great day and great life. Peace

[@FaithandNova]

I understand I would like the planet to pause for a second so I can get off. A lot of mean hateful ppl on earth

[@jadek5822]

This talented artist has such a kind & beautiful energy! 💖 Staying alone can keep us, “safe” from our own emotions, most likely from traumas, because other people bring them out. It’s up to us to learn that we can feel our emotions & they can flow through us w/out hurting us. There are techniques like breath work & therapy, group therapy can help us in our suffering. There are people out there wishing they could be your friend & would never hurt you. Many I have found have suffered & will have compassion for you. But to start, it’s your responsibility. ✌️

[@peacelovejoy8786]

Change your perspective, change your life! One mind, one heart, one love ❤

[@mickyunit]

I enjoy physically being alone. I don't feel like I'm missing out on interaction, mostly drama. I don't feel lonely. Valentine's day? It's just like any other holiday - business. It's just another day. Likely, this sounds cynical to most. But it's my feeling and attitude.

[@Angela-co7nm]

Your never alone if you have Jesus in your ❤️. Know that He loves you like nobody ever can. By faith ask Him to be real in your life, cry out for forgiveness for all wrongdoings (sins). I did this and experienced the peace of God(Holy Spirit) flood my soul. It was like a brand new day. Living in this troubled world is much easier to do with Christ in your life. ✝️

[@cortez_d3352]

I agree 100% people disappoint you but God won’t. He’s always by your side if you believe in Him.

[@jediknightjairinaiki560]

Comedian Sebastian Maniscalco has a great bit about people taking selfies. "I call it taking a lonely." So true, so funny.

[@TS-rd7oy]

He is really a beautiful man, inside and outside.

[@deezimmo4814]

I have been alone for 15 years. There are days I do not speak to anyone. I have no smartphone, I do not use facebook (Good luck shutting down your facebook account) and my closest neighbor lives about a mile away. My hubby died 15 years ago and I have not had a date since...it is not like I have not tried (I have been insulted in each attempt; so I gave up). I am not "arm candy", I am a hard worker, own my home, and another home I have given to my veteran son. I have animals, tractors and my own money; I am alone because people are cruel.

[@shanewhitefeather6298]

I am so very sorry for you, Diane. People can be very mean. For what it's worth, I just said a prayer for you and wish you the best. God Bless you, your veteran son and all your animals.

[@kvernon1]

I feel your pain. Best wishes for you to ultimately find other people as authentic as you are. Diamonds in the rough, but they've got to be out there somewhere....

[@SheriLatulip]

I agree and it's not like when we were growing up ...and its only getting worse.

[@boohere2]

if you feel alone or lonely, GET A DOG.

[@sallydaniel1023]

YES!!!

[@skyking6989]

Thought about it but i work nights and move to much

[@marty9660]

preferably adopt a dog

[@sallydaniel1023]

@@marty9660 Always adopt

[@ingridp4457]

cats are better

[@tamikkajohnson1589]

I have done Sidewalk Talk as a listener. It is amazing.

[@1suitcasesal]

Wow! What an amazing person this man is. He did a major life experiment. He was very brave to do that. I think he has a great spirit. I used to be lonely but now I really like my own company and I never feel lonely being alone. I was lonely in my marriage.

[@yogiviben8555]

She’s wrong, we don’t need “connection.” We need meaningful interactions even if they are rare.