Celebrity, Scandal and Heroes - more on the Neil Gaiman Allegations Trigger Warning see description

[@kellyoconnor1035]

Hi Gareth 😊, I did watch your other video. You clearly said the accusations, but sometimes we can get defensive and lash out. So sorry that happened. I think you are amazing for keeping such a positive outlook on Hollywood & writers, famous people. That is a gift, don't lose it. The round table talks with actors & Live From the Actor's Studio are my favorites too. How I miss James Lipton and his giant stack of cards with questions on them!! On a personal note , thank you for talking about the Neil Gaiman allegations. I haven't seen anyone addressing it. I hope it is not true , but if it is it won't mean that all writers lose their way. But it is good to talk about. PS- I have heard John Mellencamp is a very likeable guy from people in his hometown in Indiana. XXOO

[@horrorgardener]

I've read almost all of Bukowski and I think it's important to recognize the dirt side with the beauty in his work. He was an asshole but he was honest with the reader about it and that's why I love his work. I never read Gaiman and upon hearing the allegations now it keeps me from wanting to ever touch his work.

[@sherrirabinowitz4618]

I grew up in LA, I went to school with celebrities and met them at events, and I personally knew some people. I can say, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. But most of the people I have met have been very nice and friendly. I have never had an experience where a celebrity attempted to attack me in anyway, (though I have had several of them with men, none of those were famous in any way.) I have had three horrible experiences, where I really liked them on the screen or TV, but when I met them they were horrible. One was as a child, a TV star who did a show geared toward kids, I was waiting to be let into a taping of TV talk show with my parents and baby brother and this woman came out, No one surrounded her or said anything, we did all stare her, because she was very beautiful, and she snapped, out of my way you little brats. My Mom never forgave her, she wouldn't let me watch her ever again. I did watch her as an adult, she was a very good actress but I never had any affection for her. The second time, I was working on a movie, and the star was had just made two mega-hit movies. He was just such a horrible person. He wouldn't talk to anyone except his co-star and the director. Not even the crew. Later on I ran into him at an awards ceremony, he was very different, he recognized me and apologized, he even gave me rose, from a some roses that they had given him from a goody bag. I did forgive him. The last one was someone I really admired, I had watched her in movies all my life. It was at a celebrity autograph show, (Now I had been going to them for years and I really never had a bad experience with anyone I liked, I did with some people I didn't know and didn't come near they yelled at me for not coming to their table, not nice. But for the most part I always enjoyed them and had some really nice talks with the celebrities. Several big stars were perfect angels to me.) So I waited on line, I was the last person (it was a real long line and I waited over an hour,) she said she was through for the day, and I said, I waited for long time, she just rolled her eyes and said, she had to get something to eat, right next to her was a plate of food, she was eating from and I knew that they brought them food and drink as much as they wanted. She grabbed her purse, and said come back tomorrow over her shoulder. She was so rude about it all, like I come up and bugged her at the restaurant or something. (which I was taught by my parents to never do and I never have bothered someone while they were eating or with their kids.) I have never forgiven her, I can't even watch her in her movies or her TV show.

[@bookssongsandothermagic]

@@sherrirabinowitz4618 thank you so much for all of that that's amazing and as you say people who aren't celebrities are awful- or can be.

[@sherrirabinowitz4618]

@@bookssongsandothermagic thank you, yes everyone is flawed. And sadly some are far more than flawed, they have real issues. I think being a celebrity heightens it, if they are wonderful, that's great, if they are horrible, well sadly you learned something you really didn't ever want to know, but it is a good lesson. At least it has been for me. P.S. I have met many wonderful celebrities. I think it balances out.

[@spreadbookjoy]

I read a book called Monsters which was about the fan’s dilemma when an artist they admire turns out to be a terrible person. I find celebrity and fandoms fascinating. The book wasn’t as good as I thought it would be so can’t necessarily recommend it but it did raise some interesting points about art vs artist. I’m someone who doesn’t have a hard time separating art from the artist, and I don’t judge people who continue to read or watch or listen to work by problematic creators. It would be an issue for me if they were spreading hateful ideologies or ideas in that work, which is rarely the case. Morrissey is now a fairly right wing bigot but I’m not going to stop listening to The Smiths as they are more than just him and the songs are nothing to do with his current beliefs. Also when it comes to films, music and work where there are multiple people involved, I think it’s kind of harsh to ignore the input of everyone else involved. Regarding Neil Gaiman, I think your first video was fine and you were clear in the points you made. As you say these are currently just allegations, so we shouldn’t be quick to judge. Even if the allegations are true, I’ll still read Gaiman’s work, but only what I still own or can borrow or get secondhand. I don’t think it’ll damage his bank balance but it’s more about principle than anything else. I wouldn’t judge anyone who carried on buying or loving his writing. Thanks for sharing your own experience as well - not easy to do publicly!

[@Cobaltdragon]

Gareth you are correct, it is a very complex issue. Both of your videos were an important watch 👍

[@BookishChas]

Great follow up video Gareth! I also try to always see the best, and assume the best in other people unless something comes out to prove my assumption wrong.

[@TheJellicle1]

I think one thing we tend to forget is that what we see is only one facet of the person and not the whole person. We feel like we know celebrities because we see them so much in media but we aren't friends, we don't go to their homes, we don't see them behind closed doors. And no one is all good or all bad. NG definitely does not give any vibe in his writing or performances that he disrespected or hated women in anyway and he is a father of two daughters. I think from his statements he believes the activity was consensual, kinky but not assault. Still when the power dynamic is so unbalanced, the question of consent is a lot trickier. I think his art will hold up but his celebrity status could be irrevocably damaged no matter how this plays out.

[@BryanM.R.-prionic1]

Oh, I agree that celebrities are real people. That's precisely the risk. I suspect that a vast majority of people, if put into a place of constantly being offered admiration or obsequiousness for their talent or ability to generate profits, could end up in a potentially dangerous place of arrogance and entitlement that in some cases, could lead to antisocial or even criminal behavior. So sorry to hear about the abuse in your family. I was incredibly fortunate with my own parents, but there was alcoholism among some of my extended relatives when I was growing up, and I can sadly observe some of the effects to this day. Glad you seem to have found some peace.

[@bookssongsandothermagic]

Thanks Bryan - the important thing is that I have a wonderful relationship with me two children. That's massive for me as I was terrified of becoming like him. I couldn't be more different.

[@BookChatWithPat8668]

Hi Gareth. I didn’t think that you weee unclear at all in the first video. That said, I also appreciate your further expansion of your thoughts here about celebrity in general. I also appreciate hearing about your songwriting role models. Thanks, Gareth.

[@justineetzkorn9594]

Off the bat: not having seen any of the Oscars movies is so relatable: I think the only thing I saw last year was _Past Lives_ lol (which was excellent, would recommend). Also, yay! Bruce Cockburn! I've seen him a couple times, and he's incredible 🍁. I think musicians turning out to be rotten would hit me so much harder, because I connect with music almost more than books. Something in the soul there. With NG, idk. It's hard. I listened to or read the transcripts of all the podcasts, and I think what really hurts is how many of the women were part of our community, part of fandom, one of us. I'm really haunted by the idea that if it's true, women he's hurt are here, watching all this debate, watching people defend him (not that you are; you've been very even about it, but there's a lot of that, and there was more in the first few weeks). I've kind of decided that if he gets the benefit of the doubt, so do they. The whole thing is so miserable, anyway. 🙁 I really appreciated this video. I love how open hearted you are. 💗

[@DJTheTrainmanWalker]

Frasnkly I am against trial by media. If there is some offence, let a court look at it... otherwise it just seems like kink shaming being used a s propaganda...

[@bookssongsandothermagic]

@@DJTheTrainmanWalker totally get it

[@KatieThompson-rv3cb]

Perhaps you could listen to your recordings and practice a bit / take some speaking classes - the constant "umms" are very distracting.

[@bookssongsandothermagic]

@@KatieThompson-rv3cb I apologise for the lack of editing. I practice all of the time. I speak publicly for my job. I appreciate the comment though.