Challenging Behaviour and Learning Disabilities: Independent living

[@riggs20]

I have so much admiration for the caregivers. They have to have so much patience.

[@gavinpowers1217]

But it's exhaustive. Patience runs out and as much as we carers give our love, time and patience, the care firms continue to penny pinch.

[@sparkly21]

@@gavinpowers1217 I agree with you that it’s exhausting to be a caregiver for the disabled, do you have any suggestions on how to help the caregivers so there’s less stress on them?

[@helencharnock3436]

Yes but Steven deserves patience.

[@riggs20]

@@sparkly21 I wish I did. I’ve been the full time caregiver for my now 84 year old mother for 7 years, and it’s taking its toll on me physically and emotionally.

[@gavinpowers1217]

I work in this field, although I'm off work through stress. I have great admiration for those who continue to provide support. I honestly, dearly wish I could be better at my job, but I am struggling. I pray and wish for an answer to this situation. I firmly believe social care should be in the hands of the NHS and not private companies. Private firms are paid for through local authorities and Public Health England. These companies suck millions from public finance and do very little to help the people they are there to support. Open a fridge in a care home on a normal day and you'll find a couple of yoghurts and a pack of cheese. Open that same fridge when shareholders are sniffing around, you'd think it was the last days of Rome! It's a disgrace.

[@darleneokeefe5866]

I’m in America and going through a similar experience. It’s become increasingly stressful and my company doesn’t show enough support for all we do . The pay is horrible so one must truly live up to this calling .

[@Josh-rn1em]

I'm in Australia. If your team leader is no help. Go higher. If it's a company problem go to your equivalent of the NDIS we have here. There are rules. Policies and procedures we must follow to get the money. If we aren't doing that they'll audit and fix things.

[@pianobasic1391]

I previously worked in Alzheimer care for a private company, the fridge comment couldn’t be any more accurate! One thing that angered me was how managers would have a spread of food in their office on some days, especially on birthdays or if someone was leaving, meanwhile residents had option A or B of a weekly menu cycle that rarely changed. I left my job to pursue complex care as well as a better working environment which I have been successful with. In my previous job, the seniors and high end staff were totally different on the days of inspections, as was how the home looked and inventories. So false and infuriating that they put on an act that would only appear when it mattered to them and not the clients. It was a repetitive system which felt unnatural. I couldn’t do my job to the best of my abilities because the company lacked providing of training, Seeking help was hard because seniors were too busy dealing medications therefore you can’t disturb them. Asking some colleagues was straight out the window because I’d prob get better advice off a 10 year old on what to do.

[@gavinpowers1217]

@@pianobasic1391 Yeah, I'm with you on all of this. Although since I wrote the original comment, things have improved (to a slight degree) where I work because the CQC (care quality commission in the UK - not sure which country you are in, Piano Basic) have done regular spot checks because of incidents elsewhere in the company I work for. Where I work still feels more institutionalised than it should be, but has been vetted recently and deemed acceptable. I want to find another career, but then there's part of me that thinks and cares about the individuals I support and I'd hate to imagine they are ever neglected or abused. Why did I ever get into a care job - it can be a nightmare?!?!?

[@rippinitupwithjamie1478]

Andrews family have it down perfectly xx

[@MYKEYCARD]

Thank You For You're Amazing Truly inspirational international Phenomenal Global Lightwork Educational Wellbeing🙏💜🌍💜🙏

[@clairebaron1419]

So sad about stephens mum passing away. Poor man being left in a hospital basicaly on his own. Thankfully he now has the support and is able to finally live his life. I am a support worker and this is why i do my jobs others can live their lives in a way that makes them happy, settled and able to function day to day. From when i was a kid we have come along way and i know we will go further. As long as they get a grip on those cuts that but a limitation on peoples lives. Carers, clients and families and even their friends and families.

[@kathneild8796]

Thank you for sharing your story. Speaking from experience there is an unbelievable lack of support out there for our families. What little there is is not suitable for various reasons. One day I hope this are of care improves but I fear it will get worse.

[@davidkendal1361]

Thank you Andrew and Jane for sharing. I care for a guy very similar to Andrew and was watching this thinking correct correct correct. Going to share with my colleagues. I wish we had video summaries for carer inductions as a standard, so insightful.

[@vanessasimmons1175]

Three carers 24/7 . I’m really divided in opinion about this when many more ppl struggle to find help. Yes some kind of normality might be managed but at what cost to those who under the radar.

[@pinchebruha405]

It’s a very troubling issue…. In America we changed funding for public schools; those with disabilities must be accommodated in public schools. A disabled child is entitled to up to 1 million in funding per year, average child 6-9k per year, it dosent make sense to spend more on the kids that will never be able to care for themselves let alone work and pay taxes to support themselves. The kids who would benefit greatly from a quarter of that funding could be the minds that create the cures and tech that could help others…. Watching the rates of children born with autism is outrageous and should be called an epidemic but it seems the parents of those children are more concerned with getting thier individual help rather than demanding inquiry into why so many are being born this way… the boats going to tip at the rates were going

[@anastasiareborns]

I love my caregivers nehimiah sunshine Imaan sissy and rahnia mama the cook of the house and Aysha ... I love my female group home this is my first female group home I live in and I love this what I call my dream home 🏘️

[@jerrywallop5647]

Well done to you , you sound happy with your life, thanks for sharing & good luck in your future….😉

[@billwebber5208]

Education usually works but only if the service providers staff are genuine and want to help. Most of them do not and instead use the persons disability to get what they want. In my case Wiltshire Council has made me homeless now for 5 months nearly. They are using my communications difficulties to bully me out of the system and the area I grew up in. It isn't just me either, they have done this to several other disabled people. It IS what they do in WILTSHIRE

[@davesandison2588]

Three carers 24/7 to keep Steven happy and avoid tantrums.

[@pinchebruha405]

… how is that considered independent living… 😢 just so sad and scary for parents worrying for a lifetime

[@jerrywallop5647]

Excellent insight……well done to everyone that took part….!😉

[@lrowe6494]

I had to deal with a roommate with challenging behavior they scared me with their behavior I had to keep an eye on my belongs because they would either ask for my belongs or claim that they theirs they would demand to watch the news if me and the other roommates were watching a movie and would throw a fit if we didn't allow them to watch the news so we would turn the news in order to keep the peace, they had a shot attention span so they would walk out of the room so we would go back to watching our movie and then they would return demanding to watch news again so off went our movie .

[@sparkly21]

You need to write your concerns down, and let the person in charge know about your grievances with your roommate.

[@lrowe6494]

I am dealing with a special needs adult roommate who doesn't like doing chores me and the other roommates are constantly cleaning up behind them we all have asked them to help clean but they ether say it's too cold ,or their back hurts ,or they don't know however when the house manager is there they are made to do chores but the house manager has to stand over them ,they also play radio super loud, they slam cabinets and the microwave, they get up 3 am or 4 am they leave side door in the middle of winter. I am told to be patient with them .

[@jerrywallop5647]

I agree patience is a gift & it can be hard sometimes , have you tried developing a cleaning rota with your pals & staff so everyone does their fare share…? You can reward positivity & involvement, make it fun & not a chore….😉

[@sparkly21]

Talk to your landlord, you need a new roommate. You don't deserve this type of treatment!

[@sparkly21]

@@jerrywallop5647 So you're okay if you had a roommate who was exactly like this towards you? It's hard to be patient with lazy roommates. L Rowe needs to find new roommates!

[@jerrywallop5647]

@@sparkly21 it was a comment on the overall content of the video NOT a reply to L.Rowe……….keep ya nose out

[@sparkly21]

@@jerrywallop5647 why? It's a public forum, you should expect people to respond to your comment irregardless who you're talking to.

[@philomenalapinska9095]

I’ve got a daughter severely Autistic and a learning disability, she’s supported 24/7 by staff, sometimes she can be happy sometimes she has challenging behaviours, She gets 2/1 support to go out in the community, she’s very similar to Stephen, it’s so sad, My daughter lives day to day, she seems happy in her own little world ,sometimes I feel she’s existing but not living her life especially when she refuses her 2/1 support, I’m heartbroken, I don’t know how to help my daughter I feel I’ve failed her

[@pinchebruha405]

You didn’t fail her, we don’t know if she’s just existing or living… I’m so sorry it must be so heart breaking for you I hope you have good friends and family support for you too ❤

[@kathythureen9341]

I DO'NT KNOW HOW MY FAMILY TOLERATED MY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS THAT I HAD WHEN I WAS A CHILD,

[@georginajovanovic]

What are good questions to ask to make friends?

[@jerrywallop5647]

Be interested in that person, ask questions, get to know them, friendship can develop from there…….good luck…!👍

[@tomyoxon5901]

You could ask what that person likes to do in their spare time? What makes them feel alive? I find it's easier to make friends when you are the one doing the listening and the other person is talking the most! All the best

[@johnrainsman6650]

Is this normal for a person with a learning disability and apparently ADHD? Now, I'm a slow learner and often don't understand what I'm told or instructed to do. Sometimes when I pointed to something or the person with me mentions a certain something, my brain makes me think of something _else._ Sometimes a concept/subject triggers another concept/subject, so that I'm thinking the _wrong_ thing. Does that make sense so far? Not listening well may or may not be the case. But the point is, I didn't catch someone's words, or I didn't understand them clearly (and perhaps I even thought I did but turned out to be mistaken). My common sense can be blocked. It just happens. And then I'm told "I don't understand how you didn't understand. Why would you...?" My brain is complex, and I always depend on the _context_ to how I misunderstood or was triggered to the wrong interpretation. If people valued context more in learning-disabled people and how they made the mistakes they made, it would make our shoes easier to be in.

[@kathythureen9341]

I HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY ALSO AND I THINK IT'S WORSE THAT HAVING A BROKEN ARM AND LEG. I HAVE ALSO HAD SEIZURES AS WELL.

[@johnwishart5947]

Stop calling. The care giver it any me as I to hav a learning disability name lik thi hurt us

[@MelissaG31]

My name Melissa golby 11,2992 sorry I 22nd January

[@Bozewani]

i was labeled ocd odd bipolar depressed schizophrenic for studying a mastes level understanding of internationalp human rights humanitarian criminal law I got my revenge when Omar al bashir was finally caught for the darfur genocide at the International Criminal Court and started my own human rights NGO in South Africa to enforce the african human rights system (African Charter on Human and peoples Rights, African Youth Charter, African Disability protocol, Maputo Protocol on teh rights of women in Africa, African Charter on the rights and welfare of the child) I can work for hte African Commission and COurt of Human and peoples Rights in Banjul gambia and Arusha Tanzania I can speak Arabic Chinese English French Russian Spanish Portuguese Afrikaans XHosa and Zulu I will travel to South Africa in August

[@amybowen227]

oh my god. were they tickling and stroking his arms as a form of treatment? was that daffy duck for adults? oh god. that must be horrible no wonder he has outburts. can you imagine being learning disabled, and just needing help with food, toilet, safety, dressing. And you think they want a trip to a bloody farm at 30 odd years old with a bunch of weird women? jesus christ have mercy.

[@tinafrompasadena3192]

Not that far into the video yet but how much experience do you have with intellectually disabled adults?

[@AFW-hw3bh]

The video says that visiting the farm is "one of Steven's favorite outings". If you are a person with LD, TBI, ASD or not, that can have a very positive sensory input. It doesn't matter whether you are 3 or 30 years old. Imagine having a life in supported living, where as you suggest, a Carer/Support Worker knocks on your door each day only to help you to wipe your arse, brush your teeth, have a shite, clothe you and feed you?! That's no quality of life whatsoever. Also, what is it you think they are trying to "treat". Its not eczema.

[@mystique592]

You seem to be about as smart as the 2 guys in this video. He's got an intellectual disability. Doesn't matter if he's 30, mentally he's more like 3.