Working with people with autism: the autistic perspective

[@scottrichards4532]

Scotts patents have hearts of gold ,obviously they know how to be ,patient calm and speak slowly and quietly .

[@lizardme88]

His mother and father have so much patience.

[@CitizenSlide]

Your closing slide says “..people with Asperger’s Syndrome often need to learn the rules of conversation”, but this is a long way from the truth and is horribly ableist. That’s a bit like saying someone with Cerebral Palsy just needs to learn how to jump.. Autism is not a behavioural difference. Our social interactions are not dependent on ability, which can then be trained and learned. Our social presentation is more influenced by what we are interested in, how we process our environment and finally how we present to others through our behaviours. When we speak with someone it is probably to give or share information - which will appear transactional to some, but makes perfect sense to us. We know many people seek social validation and feel energised by social contact, but we mostly don’t understand why. And because of our different motivations we will often appear strange/rude/uninterested, when in fact we simply have no motivation to participate in the many indirect ways that non-autistic people behave. Capability is just one dimension that characterises our differences, but more importantly we don’t feel the same need to communicate nor do we benefit from the same rewards.

[@sergiustanciu2614]

horribly ableist? you said almost the same thing as they did in more pompous words. Not all are disinterested in socialising and not all function like you describe and even if they did it's irrelevant because people with Aspergers are so advantaged by the fact they can learn, so why would you want to mould society to fit a minority? we need to understand their rules. that's not ableist, it's common sense. You project this virtue on having autism when it is a mental illness that impacts you and cripples your social life.

[@stfuyoutube423]

well said

[@camellia8625]

Very eloquently put. As an autistic person myself I too am also sick of misconceptions and ableism.

[@CitizenSlide]

@@camellia8625 here in the UK, ‘social therapy’ is now a treatment offered on the NHS for a wide range of mental health disorders. That’s the kind of ableism that contradicts the fundamental medical edict of ‘do no harm’. And you’ve really got to fight against these norms, which seems very regressive in 2022..

[@chrisbarson2196]

It was Marie in the film who said she hadn't learnt the rules of conversation. It's wrong to then apply this to all autistic people, obviously.

[@CamCat13]

I've been having some difficulty working as a team member in retail. When I am on the clock, the only thing on my mind is work. I'm thinking of cleaning, stocking, check out, and of course, positive customer service. Customers seem to like me but my coworkers are another story. When I'm on a team, I'm only thinking of us all working together to reach a common goal, no emotions to tangle up in that mess. When it first was brought to my attention that people found me rude and bossy, I made a short & sweet poem to share that I have autism and attached it to a carton of cookies which I brought in for everyone. Now and again, I have superiors express how upset with me they were and other times, they felt short with me. In a recent iteration of my "I'm sorry, it's my autism" messages, i tried to explain it is a social communication disorder, not an intellectual one just in case that is where the possible assumptions or confusion lies. Some coworkers have been much more empathetic, or at least seem that they are. I have learned that certain people are not safe to talk with and others are safe. On the outside, that may look like favoritism or disrespectful to their position. So it's a lose-lose situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. But alas, my work there is coming to and end due to my move. But now I know more precisely why this issue arises and I'll be better at informing my next job of the social accomodations that I need to be considered a positive team member.

[@whatthesigmaW]

Hey man, I'm on the spectrum as well (Low-functioning autism), I know that you've moved on from that job, but in that situation where you wanted to explain to your co-workers how you didn't want to come off rude or bossy(wasn't necessary to have to explain yourself to your co-workers on why you may act in certain ways), I completely understand that. But this is retail, you aren't in some sort of big corporate giant where some crapy values of the day are indoctrinated into you. I think you should stop taking the relationships that you're trying to create with your retail co-workers so seriously, as working in retail isn't a serious job tbh, I spent about 4 years working at a supermarket during the near end of high school, working with people that I saw in school. Let's say I copy what you did, standing up and telling the people I attended school with that I have autism would be a massive blow to all the social reputations, relationships that I made, etc... Since you'd already dug yourself this hole in which you have explained your condition to them, there is no way of going back and resetting your personality around them. I don't mean to come off sounding harsh but this is the truth. you did great with customers but maybe tone it back a bit with your co-workers. Hope all is well now.

[@iamthegame09]

Whenever I hear stories of care workers asking parents what to do when their children self-harm I just shake my head...and it not because I think it's the care worker is incompetence, in fact, I believe the reverse to be true...when a care worker is asking for advice it means they haven't received the appropriate training or supervision to carry out their duties...what I would do professionally if a service user was banging their head off the wall is try to redirect them away from what they're doing, for example, if I knew they hated mess, I'd grab the nearest magazine and fire it onto the floor...there are other methods but I'm not going to get into that now...so moral of the story, care workers not at fault, management is!

[@wemuk5170]

So true!

[@randomsmile9064]

I'm autistic with some learning issues myself.. I go through phases of self harm and have no idea why.. I don't even know how to stop myself... I would hate to be a support worker faced with someone self harming and not having the proper training or experience to deal with it

[@Dapper183]

​@@randomsmile9064I'm a support worker, and I love my job. But it can be challenging. But seeing you reflect on the situation, brings a whole different perspective to how I view self harm, and why it occurs. it takes a lot of courage for you to share that information with people, and you having an understanding for those workers is heart warming, as the state of care in the UK isn't well funded as it should be. I'm sure you have the ability to help lots of people facing similar issues. You should be proud.

[@randomsmile9064]

@@Dapper183 I've been doing alot of therapy and getting actual help and some really good support workers lately.. I've been starting to learn alot of underline trauma and things from growing up , abuse / neglect along with learning more about autism and sensory overload and coping mechanics and what not.. I feel like alot of my self harm comes down to trying to deal with emotional overload and sensory overload.. along with a cry for help in a way.. I've never had anyone to talk to growing up about emotions or problems, so I just buried them and didn't even know i was autistic until around 2020. so I'm still learning alot about myself. There's so many things to play a part that its truly hard to understand why it happens or how to stop it.. whats been working for me lately has been reflecting back on my days and trying to always find something positive and keep my mindset as positive as i can. No longer being depressed or worse. just trying to enjoy the little things and work through my problems at my own pace

[@annettepelletier7000]

I have as burgers autistic. I didn’t know I had it till I was 53 years old. I’m now 63 years old now.

[@raea3588]

What beautiful hearts Scott's parents have

[@deathweaselx86]

Subtitles, please! The KZbin auto-subtitles do not work well with UK accents.

[@johnsigsworth6979]

I have autism and anxiety but people know me I'm just autistic and I'm a teenager now and I'm going to be 16 after Christmas and I struggled with my gcses and now I'm going to work in mcdonalds and sell chips cheeseburgers and milkshakes and mcflurrys and stuff and I'm going to be 16 and have my family and friends over and they're going to my 16th birthday party and I feel really happy

[@andrewmorton395]

I failed at school, I have Autism AD HD OCD PDA

[@fiona_6714]

Love how this is supposed to be the autistic person's perspective and for the man with High support needs you just asked his Neuro-typical parents what it's like rather than even attempting to ask him what his experience is

[@andrewmorton395]

I have asperges, i like to live with a foster famliy.

[@Tad1945]

I’d foster you Andrew.

[@andrewmorton395]

@@Tad1945 I wish you could

[@corrigana1]

I have pdd nos which is under the autism spectrum umbrella

[@Najia1977]

What company does the lady with Asperger's work for? I have Asperger as well?

[@aysheafarag]

Brighton University.

[@andrewmorton395]

I have Autism, AD HD OCD PDA.

[@sergiustanciu2614]

Shit, you almost have them all to complete the collection. 😂😂

[@billwebber5208]

Wiltshire Council fail every time without question to work to any standard or uphold the principles of RCSLT Communications Standards, in fact their staff actually use those people disabilites to stop them gettign anywhere. RCSLT Should be part of ur common laws, the guidance is there to stop discrimination and to stop people like and including me feeling helpless from their bullying.

[@camellia8625]

I agree that social workers should have mandatory training in autism and be held to standards when it comes to the way they interact with autistic and otherwise neurodiverse individuals. Was told that something has just been passed through parliament. 🤞it will lead to better standards of practice

[@vicious-pi3rd]

You see you can't be using excuses like. "These things happen" ,"just does not know any better" "or is not your fault" Is good but you make it habit of it. It tells the individual well i guess is not so bad if it happens again because mom,dad or whoever they are close said so. Not everyone will react the same way who are strangers.

[@lorrainedaniels6357]

hi there scot is a lovely guy and I love to share that I am autistic to and l have special need's to and l suffer from depression and anxiety to and l am on med's to for it l felt really low to night l felt like crying but l keep it in l have voices in my head telling me that do l won't to go to the other side of the world and done l can't sand it but this is for the rest of my one live whit this l have subscribed and turned on your notification's and done a like to God bless you and your beautifull family to be really safe from this nasty coronavirus firus love you all and everyone in the comment part to be really safe to 💜💛💚💙❤🙏🙏🙏😔😔😔🙏🙏🙏❤💙💚💛💜👊👊👊✌✌✌👊👊👊👋👋👋👋👋

[@lizardme88]

This is all very real. 😮

[@Progressive_Alien]

Omg that piano is so loud

[@corrigana1]

I have pdd nos

[@corrigana1]

@Cornelius Esperanza we are twins

[@corrigana1]

@Cornelius Esperanza that would be good

[@mia-mariakristensen5211]

I wish I knew Scot.

[@KendraMorana]

I feel like more professionals would be more helpful if they just took the time out (5-10 mins) to learn about the people on the autism spectrum. If you do not understand autism even a little, you can't help us on the spectrum.

[@MariamM-hq5od]

Yap I agree

[@sarahmagoon4032]

Nice cups of tea! Good idea...

[@cameronwiththecam943]

She has a Baha’i qoute in her office

[@chrysalis72]

She saysyou ca do it ut i cat o what you ca do can you, ten times or she says good bye at night and isnt happy till i say goodbye. Noone i scotlad helps her professionally exvept me and i found her in an alcoholic house with filthy living conditions trying to clean herself in a bathroom full of sewage as the toilet overrun. The person there also had learning disabilities so i took her in and she tells everyone im her girlfriend. She can be very possesivd of me. I look after her 24 hours a day and get 60 a week which is taken from my esa. I get 20 for everything. I had to dress her feed her and house her and she was surrounded by scum predators. I chased them away but she doesnt know the difference between a dangerous person and not a dangerous person. She tantrums and self harms but refuses intervention as she only wants me to care for her. Its driving me into tthe ground as its too much.

[@laracookee4793]

You need to get support! This is not a healthy situation for you. Speak to the council/social services x

[@chrysalis72]

@@laracookee4793 thank you so much for your kindness and support. I have gotten her an apartment and I gave her every penny i had. I said i had my mother to look after and managed to get her out my house. Later i found out she wad telling people i was abusing her! I was shocked and confused but what i understand about narcissistic behaviour she fits it perfectly. She was getting aggressive with me fot no reason. The day before I came back to my senses she slapped me on the arm leaving fingerprints and said it was an accident. Again i put it down to learning disability but she had punched me on the side of the face for nothing months earlier. Her body was covered in scratching burns from her face to her arms torso and legs, somehow god sent me an angel of intervention who was taking her away all day and then witnessing the jealousy and attacks i was getting as i gave her everything and i mean everything. I gave her socks bras pants pyjamas tshirts trousers. Food shelter and got her all her benefits which were a lot. She put nothing in the house except now and again. I found out she was taking drugs and hD people banging on my door saying she owed money. I was crazy but i was being emotionally manipulated as she was acting like a baby. Again my friend said she wasnt doing anything like that with other people. I adked her to leave and she said no a million times and then would start crying and begging. By this point all my money was going on her to the point i had nothing for myself barely to eat. Everything i ate i gave her half as i couldnt afford to keep two people on the money i was recieving in sickness benefit. I am so grateful for your response as i felt trapped and alone. I didnt want to hurt a vulnerable person but it was killing me and where was her family? I took her to her family for advice and they literally shut the door and walked away to tjeir friends house. She hadnt seen them in 4 years and this was her grandmother?! Her mother literally ran away from her as fast as she could after she called her, she unravelled her arms from her neck and said she had a bus to catch, her dad is dead. I was totally stuck with her and my empathy was being savaged as she even called me a paedophile in the street, attacking for no readon but wouldnt let me walk away. I will never take in a homeless person again as this petson knows exactly how to behave or id never have been involved. Its been 3 days and im at my mums looking and feeling so much better its unbelievable. I was constantly stressed and wasnt allowwed to laugh and i even remember crying and her being really nasty saying she wasnt interested in my tears. Its scary how we can be trauma bonded so quickly. Nice then cruel creates a trauma bond or id have ran away months ago. I hope shes okay despite the slander as i fed clothed and cared for her, she was beyond help and im glad shes gone thanks to you and my friend who woke me up to the fact i was being abused with lies and torture. Sincere thanks again, i really thought i could heal with love but instead i got wholesale used in a very sick but conning way. Love from margaret your words made such a differencexxx

[@goddessdevine4236]

@@chrysalis72 I’m proud of you for having the strength to get out of that situation. It wasn’t your fault, reflect on what you learned from the situation so you know what to do if you’re ever faced with something like this again. I hope you continue to grow, to find love and joy in your life. You’re such a blessing to this world and you deserve better than what you went through.

[@camellia8625]

Sounds like a very upsetting situation- she needs professional support. The local council should have an autism and learning disabilities section and can do a needs assessment/care plan for her so she can hopefully get the help and funding she needs.

[@themanape]

Marie looks fine.

[@camellia8625]

From an outsider perspective- you do not know how much effort she may have to go to to function as well as she does.

[@voiceofreason6686]

She is suffering a mental turmoil just as severely as Scott. Women are often more likely to be raised to mask or care deeply enough to mask. At great burden to themselves. Whereas Scott's parents accepted him for who he is.

[@anne-mariesamson9792]

This has nothing to do with me, so please take it elsewhere!! Please remove your comment!

[@nicoanon]

what are you talking about