Chapter 5 Autism Burnouts

[@jamesrempel8522]

All of your videos have been relatable to me but this one really hits close to home. I've been on burnout for not hours, days, or weeks, but years. I discovered a few months ago that it's due to autism (self-diagnosed), and with the new tools I have I'm starting to make headway. But the burnout, inability to do gainful work, and shame are very hard to overcome. Please keep making these videos. I follow many autism channels on YT but none resonate with me like your story. All the best to you, and thanks for sharing. - James from Canada

[@amineurodivergent]

Thank you, I really appreciate this comment. I'm in the middle of a bit of a burnout again now and hoping to get back to the videos again soon.

[@LaraNewellBarrette]

Another great, relatable video. I had to quit my teaching career because of a prolonged episode of autistic burnout (which of course I didn't know was autistic burnout at the time). That was 12 years ago, and I'm not sure I've ever fully recovered. I have short spurts of bouncing back, but inevitably end up back in burnout because life circumstances never seem to allow for a full recovery. I'm still working through the "what if I had known/could things have been different?" baggage of all of that.

[@amineurodivergent]

I feel this and send strength. I've not fully recovered from my 'big one' a year and a half ago, and there are days I wonder whether I ever fully will. I've had several mini burnouts since the big one and it always feels like whenever I'm making progress back towards the old me (or at least a revised approximation of it), I trip and stumble again and the horizon keeps shifting back. There has to be a better way back to at least a parallel way of being. I haven't struck on how to get there yet but will keep trying to work through the mud. Thanks for sharing your own struggle - it's nice to connect!

[@sarahgiggles9444]

Holy guacamole, this hit the nail right on the head. I'm still exploring the self-diagnosis phase while I try to find local resources for something more official, but I was floored by how accurately this describes my current state of mind and behavior (which is what was causing me to explore wtf is going on with me in the first place, and led me to researching autism, ADHD, and the other "adjacent" diagnoses). I recognize these patterns from the past, as well. Thank you for your insight.

[@amineurodivergent]

Good luck on the journey - have you tried the AQ Test (linked in all my video text descriptions) and the CAT-Q Test (Camouflaging Autistic Traits) linked to in the description of my Masking video (Chapter 29)? Before getting a formal diagnosis, I scored high-ish on the AQ, and very high on the CAT-Q. ADHD self tests are linked in my later videos as well. The Embrace Autism page has a lot of good self tests as you're on the exploratory journey and Misdiagnosis Monday (on the Neurodivergent Insights page) is also very good for trying to parse what's what, where overlaps are, etc. Good luck!

[@felixgarciaflores]

i found the F1 story analogy so profound here. i find your videos so on the point in general! I'm looking back now seeing how my previous burnouts throughout my life have been mischaracterized as "depression". depression _does_ come as a result of burnout if you keep on gaslighting yourself (and being gaslit by others) that you're not experiencing it, eventually crashing into a complex shame cycle that is depresssion. but hey, in the light of all this, it could be avoided!

[@luckysmummy5325]

THANKYOU so much for your work in putting these videos out there. SO RELATABLE & helpful. All the best.

[@amineurodivergent]

Thanks for watching and for your lovely comment.

[@lynncohen1297]

I'm working my way through your videos, and need to say a big "thank you" for sharing your journey. It's really helpful to hear you describe your experiences. I self-diagnosed about a month ago (score of 35 on the AQ). At first it was a gut-punch. It felt like my entire life was crashing down on me. As I thought and researched and thought more, I began to identify ways in which I've struggled since childhood with the feeling that I didn't somehow "fit in" but not knowing, ever, what to do about it. I realized I've been masking all my life. I also realized that some traits, such as high intelligence combined with a very strong need to organize stuff, was regarded as useful in the workplace and was made use of by employers. It's encouraging to know that more people are being open about being on the spectrum. I suspect that in the next decade or so, psychiatry/mental health practitioners will come around to the view that the autism spectrum or neurodivergence in general isn't something separate from neurotypical-ism; it's all part of one big range of behaviors, on which each of us fits at our own place. I've been discussing this with my son (I'm 75, he's 55) and he offered the opinion that, when he was in school, had there been the awareness of neurotypical and neurodivergent issues that we have now, he'd have been identified as being on the spectrum. Among other things, he has sensory processing issues (synesthesia, which he's learned to manage), doesn't "get" mathematics, is hugely intelligent, and was always out of step with his teachers and the classroom environment. We had a "core evaluation" done when he was in sixth grade, because he was having such difficulty in school. It identified that he's got a genius-level IQ and a huge vocabulary, but offered exactly no help with his difficulties in "fitting in" in the classroom.

[@amineurodivergent]

Thanks for sharing all this, I love hearing about other people's awakenings (albeit with the tinge of sadness that comes with those awakenings coming further down the road than we may have wished). Being smart, logical and organised definitely gives you cache in the NT world, though I'm guessing can equally lead to frustrations when the surrounding world isn't as smart, logical or organised as you'd like it to be! My dream for the future is that being ND in an NT world isn't something that needs either hiding OR huge adjustments, it's just an acknowledged and accepted part of the human condition where strengths are empowered but challenges mitigated - it's the latter that's going to be the battle. Understanding the 'why' of diverse brains is going to be a huge part of that latter point and will need lots of educating. I feel we're making progress but there's still a ways to go. We'll get there!

[@penjelly88]

Stopping to comment at only 7.3 minutes in because you are literally describing me right now. I get to the end of every week and find myself hiding away in my room searching for airbnb's in the country or by the beach that I can run away to (not easy when you're a parent of a 6 year old). I have my third EAP counselling session this afternoon to discuss my talking 6 months off work (already approved 🎉) and think this might be the time to bring up possible ADHD or autism as a contributor to my epic burnout. Thanks @amineurodivergent for being so open and putting this out for us undiagnosed adults flailing about in the world x

[@AncTreat5358]

Thank you for sharing your experience with actualized autism burnout. This resonated with me very much (I'm recently self diagnosed autism at age 52). I've had a number of what I now see as autistic burnout that had been attributed to being bipolar or having schizoaffective disorder. I see things could have been very different if I had been treated for the right issue. Thanks for the awesome content!

[@amineurodivergent]

You're welcome - thanks for watching. Really sorry to hear you've not had the right treatment and support identified over the years. A lot of us in this boat, sadly!

[@lindadunn8787]

Helpful, yes. I'm too burnt-out with unavoidable demands immanent to compose a worthy comment. But just saying a quiet hello and thank you feels appropriate. Listening to your commentary serves as a bridge between isolation and overwhelm , sort of. Learning DBT has helped me to identify stepping back as a powerful choice and action. Looking forward to hearing more of what you have to say as I step away.

[@amineurodivergent]

Thank you for sharing and nice to feel your presence here. Sharing some of this stuff can feel a bit much sometimes so it's nice to hear from other people. I'm not that familiar with DBT so I'm going to look it up now to see if it's something that might chime with me as well. Sometimes I feel like I need to step forward and sometimes I feel like I need to step back. Mostly I stand frozen to the spot. Thanks and take care!

[@jc-bass]

Hi! :) Just wanted to say, I came across your channel for the first time yesterday and have been binge watching your videos ever since 😅 They have been so useful to me and are so relatable as someone undiagnosed in the UK, but with a lot of questions. I am so grateful you are sharing your journey, thank you so much 🥰

[@amineurodivergent]

Thanks so much for taking the time to post such a lovely comment. It can be hard work for me doing these videos so comments like these make me glad to keep doing them. Have a great day!

[@GeekyGirl36]

Just came across this video in my feed and I am so glad that I watched it. I can relate to so much of what you said and I look forward to watching more.

[@anjachan]

All the time to be honest. At least I stoped searching for a regular job. But I still push myself to much to often. Im used to it. It's hard to stop completely.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

10:16-11:00 I feel most, if not all, of that... and have, for a couple of years.

[@Vallavender333]

I'm having trouble with my burn out while in poverty. Not having a comfortable living place, not being able to take a break from work without missing out on basics, and being unable to afford some medical help kinda make me feel like I need to schedule out my self accomodations years out.

[@amineurodivergent]

I'm really sorry to hear you're in such a tough spot. There's not enough burnout support out there. I hope you can start to feel okay again in time.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

10:16-11:00 I feel most, if not all, of that... and have, for a couple of years.

[@amineurodivergent]

Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I hope you can find a way to navigate through it all that works for you.