5 Red Flags In Dating You Should NEVER Ignore

[@Hyurno]

You need to fall in love with what the person is. Not what YOU THINK they are, or COULD be.

[@purpleflows5680]

Amen

[@littlevoice_11]

Or what you think YOU can make them become. You can't change anyone but yourself, even love isn't enough to change someone

[@retard_activated]

Likewise, people need to BE who they are and not shield their partner from that.

[@gladiator1342]

Preach

[@ninjustice5574]

BEAUTIFULLY stated.

[@learncadadia7832]

5:00: “You need to take what someone says they want and what they don’t want in a relationship very seriously at the beginning.”

[@leesalee1540]

👍🏻👆🏻

[@360.Tapestry]

nah, i'm sure i can convince them lol i can heal them hahahaha

[@potapotapotapotapotapota]

Yes don't jump into love blindly, make sure the person you are attracted to shares the same fundamental worldview as you, because it will be a disaster if you don't see eye to eye on all the important things. Obviously you will never agree on everything, but you should at least agree to being able to disagree respectfully.

[@tienngothuy3540]

So true

[@Phasma6969]

This can always change but more or less it's right, kinda modulates. Do listen and carefully...

[@geovanamara9293]

This video is a perfect example of how we can have a enlightening discussion and learn from other people's experience instead of engaging in jugdemental gossip about people, famous or not... So, thank you for the amazing content!!!

[@nateo200]

I was just going to post this! I have personal experience with the most toxic relationships possible I don't want to go into details but rest assured I've been there. As a man (as as a young boy) it was never taken serious and everyone acted shocked and wanted to know what to do....other than treat abuse serious no matter what I'd say learn about how a toxic relationship looks and its dynamics.

[@rehammohammed846]

THIS.

[@cheedarcheese5811]

definitely!

[@GadgetsGearCoffee]

As I've worked on clearing my own traumas and attachment wounds, I'm more aware of how they manifest in my language and behaviors and also am able to be empathetic to other people. Nobody is perfect. That's impossible. It's not about accepting bad behavior but if you understand where you and others come from, you can find a better middle ground

[@sirskeptic]

Thanks for making this gender-neutral. So many boys need to hear that it's not okay for women to abuse them.

[@osman01003]

There's a video by Sean Connery (the great actor) about this sensitive and important topic.

[@CarloisBuriedAlive]

100% yes. I’ve talked with many men who didn’t even realize they were abused despite being on the receiving end of it emotionally and physically, as strange as it sounds.

[@deetwodcs4683]

Not only boys, but also men.

[@deetwodcs4683]

@@osman01003 Haha! I do believe we're thinking the same video because I can't find anything else.

[@LateshaRenee]

@@deetwodcs4683 Yea "boys" is exactly how a lot of men act today. That was a Freudian slip.

[@learncadadia7832]

5:06: “Don’t view changing someone as an act of love, and def don’t make them your project.”

[@miranda.cooper]

I've actually done this before. And it pains me to think of how she felt. I realized I was wrong after a few years and apologized to her about it, and I vow never to do that again.

[@thandohlophe926]

Hi Charisma on Command, Please do a video on identifying Toxicity in ones self. Sometimes we are the toxic people but do not know how to see that

[@Jan_Nicolaisen]

Seconded! Toxic behaviour starts from natural instincts but skewed to unhealthy extremes. Understanding yourself, the connection and process between your instincts and behaviour, the psychology involved, and how we can learn to recognize these things so we can work on them! I believe introspection and conscious self-editing is they way to better oneself, but what works for me might not be for everyone.

[@matthewpope6935]

This has opened my eyes. My parents were always solid together. But my dad was all about money. I have just noticed a pattern with myself, where I deem buying and giving gifts as love. Thank you for making me realise this.

[@mariejae]

That's just his love language... its not wrong but definitely use the love language test for yourself and if you are in romantic relationship, its good to know your partner's and other loved one's love language as well.

[@AndaraBledin]

My ex had a dad like that, and it bled into his own life where he would 'buy' other people's attention and goodwill instead of putting in the actual effort of being a good person and earning people's attention. His dad was incredibly neglectful and selfish and he was taught that was how it was supposed to go. Surprisingly, that wasn't the reason he's my ex. His mother was even worse, basically doing absolutely everything for him and ensuring he had zero life skill up until the moment he turned 18. And after that, she couldn't understand why he didn't take over and start doing everything on his own initiative.

[@samuraidestroyer4037]

"You don't know the traumas that formed your childhood experience of love". Hearing that makes me think if you don't learn and acknowledge your past, it will be repeated in the future.

[@L2HfT]

Leave anyone at any cost who brings you down or patronize you. Period.

[@EFX5452]

Agreed. Though I can understand Johnny's fear. AH would threaten suicide with her actions when he'd try to leave.

[@smokemeakipper1076]

@@EFX5452 Johnny Depp is a cocaine addict and alcoholic. That's a roller coaster ride in itself to have as a partner.

[@PsychologyRefresh]

🚩The biggest red flag of a toxic relationship is a lack of apology. The purpose of apologizing isn't actually to decide who is right and who is wrong. It’s about acknowledging your partner’s feelings and validating them. If your partner never apologizes you, it is a big red flag 🚩

[@Introvertedalpha]

Great insight; thanks for sharing!

[@Chosengenerations]

Yep, apologizing and responsibility go hand in hand.

[@kevinhudson3032]

They only triple down. And as they age they get a PHD in evil.

[@PsychologyRefresh]

@@Introvertedalpha you're welcome!

[@leesalee1540]

Realizing this is what cemented my realization that my mom is toxic. She is literally incapable of apologizing for her actions, no matter how big or small it is. It’s actually crazy. I used to cry about it. Now I laugh over how absurd it is. After being confused for years, finally understanding this has helped me a lot. 😊

[@IamjustBruh]

This is probably one of the most important videos you guys have made on this channel. We needed this now more than ever

[@yenh1144]

I totally agree with this. My deepest pain is feeling like no one will love the real me as my mom’s love was very conditional and she was emotionally unresponsive so I find it tough to allow people in and tend to be on the solitude side when it comes to deep things. I tend to withdraw and do feel like no one truly knows me (to this day)

[@mamalovesthebeach437]

You are perpetuating your deepest pain by withdrawing but I think you realize that…being vulnerable takes strength. Life is never certain…we learn and grow during the uncertain experiences. I’m in my last 20 years of life and I can affirm it goes by very quickly. Live as it’s your last month of life…💜

[@Introvertedalpha]

Great points! Especially liked the explanation around speaking about your feelings and what you would like vs using absolutes.

[@AxxLAfriku]

Me the ALPHA M*LE of this comment section and me command RESPECT. Right now me telling you to NOT observe any of me nice cool sweet videos. Instead just look at me awesome good powerful thumbnails. Thank you, dear int

[@danielcreed8520]

As per rule #5, I read something similar once: Basically, as children, we associate whatever the main emotional theme in our home is with survival: If it tends to be happy & loving, we often associate that with survival. But the same thing applies to constant themes of shouting & violence, neglect & silent treatment, envy & gossip, or any other emotions that get continuously reinforced, whether positive or negative. The idea is, that since these themes are often present in our daily lives, we associate them with survival, whether that is true or not; similar to how Pavlov's dogs got conditioned to drool for treats whenever he rang a bell. (Since those whom didn't survive wouldn't pass their genes on, thus filtering out unproductive behaviors due to natural selection). The nature & nurture of a young child's mind is constantly seeking patterns to learn from, especially from their caretakers they directly rely on for their survival. It's often bad news when a kid grows up & those role models ignore any problems the former child had, with remarks such as "You grew up ok. / It wasn't that bad. / X was raised the same way, & they turned out fine." etc. This is why it's so important to be mindful of how we as parents, babysitters, & teachers look out for those kids using our words & actions. (Plus who we allow as such role models to influence them). Further, the article said that even if the kids grow up with the knowledge that even while some of those main themes were unhealthy to use full time, some of us may still seek partners that do often use such attitudes, if only for the sense of familiarity. Anyway, it's an interesting & sound theory, imho

[@diamondgarcia9409]

Makes sense. I think love plays a huge part in that. The way we learn to receive love from our caretakers is how we try to receive love from others. If your mom only gave you affection when you did something nice for her then you'll want to please others that way. If your dad only paid attention to you when you were in trouble when you learn to cause problems for attention.

[@snowleopard9907]

So growing up spoiled makes it hard get a job yeh yeh deffs

[@edi9892]

Some other major red flags: Conditional love Gaslighting Sabotage of other relationships Showering in love to make you forget why you were upset, but quickly returning to the old ways. Constantly pushing boundaries. Undermining self-esteem (mostly in sneaky fashion) Constantly being reminded that you owe him/her.

[@klawiehr]

That fourth point is important to me. Something is wrong if you are constantly switching between “How could I ever stay with this person?” and “How could I ever leave this person?”

[@edi9892]

@@klawiehr Personally, I find the first two the most devastating, because people only realise it when the damage is already too great...

[@HUYI1]

Reading that shows how toxic my relationship truly is 😤😤

[@HUYI1]

@@klawiehr yeah constantly he's says this 🙄 it's a love hate relationship

[@edi9892]

@@HUYI1 Then, it's time to cut losses... (just don't get yourself killed)

[@viktoriadencheva6578]

Wow... This video helped me really think deep and realize I tend to have some of these toxic traits (like speaking in absolutes) when I fight with my boyfriend. Thanks for pointing these out, I'll definitely try to correct myself after watching this.

[@katr.9902]

Wow man, you're so spot on. And I like how you showed how the whole relationship of Depp and Heard was toxic, not just her or just him.

[@bridaw8557]

Yes. They were both toxic people. She took it all public and that was a very very bad move. .walk away. And deal with your anger in private.

[@bridaw8557]

This is a good example of two people with attachment issues doing a dance. Avoidant triggers anxious atttached. Both ambivalent . But they BOTH fear true authentic connection. They trigger each other’s fear precisely. That’s why it gets like that, this is so common. If we work on our own attachment wounds and traumas, then we can find others ready to grow with us.

[@kevingibbs1256]

As someone who treats such problems and have gone through exploring childhood traumas myself - I applaud you for this video. Great insight.

[@slaveNo-4028]

I fricking hate it when people claim to know you better than you know yourself.. And in just this one sentence, they've accomplished to completely invalidate what you've just said, be condescending and hold themselves at a higher value than you, and they've completely disrespected/ignored your consent/opinion/wishes. Sadly this is SO fricking common and people act all surprised pikachu when I'm pissed. It's like they're so arrogant, they don't even see it as rude.

[@onemanenclave]

You and Ben are some of the smartest people I know and love to listen to online.

[@GinoNL]

I love Ben Shapiro too

[@betteralphaadvice1567]

You don’t need someone who can complete you, You need someone who can accept you completely.

[@LateshaRenee]

The biggest thing I've learned about dating is do NOT assume people will change or that you can change them. I wasted my 20s trying to change my ex, despite him showing me exactly who he was from day one. Don't let your desperate need for companionship make you overlook incompatibility. You deserve true love, reciprocity and all those other fun mushy things that the RIGHT partner brings. 🥰

[@rebeccacrouse1949]

Thank you for this video I recently broke off an engagement I didn't realize why I was so uncomfortable in the relationship until AFTER we broke up. We had at least 2 of these red flags. Sadly, the majority of relationships I saw growing up had one or more of these red flags.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

#6 she throws a bottle at you and it cuts off your finger

[@vta2265]

#7 when she leaves an Amber Turd on the bed as a "prank"

[@mrmustangman]

#8 files for divorce 15 months into the marriage to gold dig your finances

[@ЖудаМ]

@@vta2265 8# and blames on the dogs that weight 4 pounds

[@Mexicobeanpole]

He’s lucky he’s still alive. She is a lunatic. More and more stories continue to come out about her toxic behavior to so many people over the years. Johnny was just the one she obsessed on the hardest and longest.

[@AndaraBledin]

@@Mexicobeanpole Likely because he had the most she could try to take for herself.

[@irena6317]

I think expectations for a person to change (especially something they enjoy or love to do) because they are getting in a relationship with you is a major issue. Like expecting someone to give up playing videos games, or to be in a monogamous relationship (when they never were before) or even something like smoking marijuana, drugs or alcohol or something they were doing long before they met you. If it is truly an issue, talk about it with them, but don't "expect" things to change. Ask yourself if you are willing to accept them the way they are and how much of "that thing you wish they'd change" actually bothers you and how major is the issue for you. Note: Changes in the relationship will happen, but avoid getting in relationships thinking you'll be able to force or demand changes.

[@IinesySankka]

The more I watch these types of videos the more I appreciate and love my boyfriend. Didn't know what a healthy relationship was even supposed to look like before I met him. Would really love educational content explaining green flags too. Just in general.

[@LateshaRenee]

Thanks for this comment, gives me hope ❤

[@Xianne027]

Thanks Charlie! I just wish there was a mentor who could explained these things to me 40 years ago. You're doing such a great service to humankind with your wise, insightful and easy-to-digest videos. And I pray that there's still a chance for me to find an honest, respectful, nurturing and healthy love. 🙏

[@lawv804]

My ex said some of the same things to me as Heard told Johnny, damn near word for word.

[@smokemeakipper1076]

Was you a cocaine and alcohol abuser like Johnny?

[@AndaraBledin]

Glad to hear they're your ex.

[@bridaw8557]

They abused each other. They were both guilty of abuse, but she didn’t just walk away. She wanted validation for pain and got the opposite. Depp is crazy too. And a better actor/manipulator than most. She’s no on his level of power.

[@Daesireys]

So true. To see the denial or even normalization of this behavior is heartbreaking.

[@LateshaRenee]

These behaviors are sooo common in society, and people have the nerve to ask me why I'm single lol

[@celine4548]

I love how you explain toxicity as a spectrum... and something into every relationship could fall, and not as an inherent trait of character that reduces a human being to his relational mistakes and struggles as "the bad toxic guy"

[@colbyjackjohnson4111]

Point #1: *only a Sith deals in absolutes* - true true

[@P.S.A10]

Searched for that comment and found it. Nice.

[@donovank.7084]

Isn’t that technically an absolute?

[@Malignant88]

When I and my partner broke up, it was true that I ALWAYS wanted to discuss our problems, and she always ignored it. She would sometimes listen and agree, but then ALWAYS act like we we're the perfect couple without a care in the world the next day. She loves running.

[@LateshaRenee]

My ex used to do this. I Call the agreeing part "pacifying", agreeing not because he understood and wanted to change, but agreeing to shut me up. Some people live in their own delusional worlds.

[@josepereira5804]

I feel terrible for people who had difficult childhoods, it can be such a hard thing to even acknowledge, much less fully overcome so that it doesn’t affect future relationships

[@guardiangibbs2663]

Poo on the bed would be a late sign.

[@IsaacKoshyMusic]

Because of this trial and this video, I realised how my last relationship was toxic and I'm so glad I got out of it

[@MinkDaddy]

Every couple should watch this! Thanks for doing your research.

[@moarawkwarder]

Dr Ramani talks about the recording conversations thing and says feeling the need to record conversations (in any relationship - family/friend/spouse) can be a sign you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. I was watching her channel around the same time as the Depp-Heard tapes first leaked (IncrediblyAverage did a bunch of videos dissecting the arguments) and it was like taking a crash course in toxic relationships. Not exactly fun but enlightening 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@matyikende2672]

This is the most serious video you have made and i am sure it has the same huge impact on the other viewers as it had on me

[@lovetobe6118]

When selecting a partner or spouse please make sure you are on the same page with what is most important to you in a relationship and priorities. If having children is a huge priority, don't go with the girl who says maybe. Go with a girl who also has that same priority in a relationship. My Best friend turned down a wonderful young man because his priority was living an urban city when her priority was being out in nature and being on a rural farm. Both are now married to other people who have those same priorities.

[@nyehu09]

Tried to explain how toxic these behaviors are on a Reddit thread a few months ago… Was downvoted to oblivion and got a lot of hate comments. Of course, toxic people with toxic mindset will defend toxic behavior. What did I expect? 🤦‍♂️

[@ozozmen]

Solid video. You wonderfully broke down childhood traumas shaping the perception of “love” and interpretations of “what relationship should be” that may not serve one well.

[@antonhilbig795]

This was a HUUUGE Eye-Opener. I could reflect on what my expartners, but mostly I did wrong! Some other videos here sometimes feel more like trivial things, but put down in words, but this actually made me think. Thank you for this.

[@JamesRDavenport]

A young woman in a pool in a skimpy bikini covered in sleeve tattoos point blank saying she doesn't want kids. Yeaaah, never saw that one coming....that dude is blind lol.

[@choosehappy9224]

That poor woman. Hope she's doing better now.

[@heathermca1351]

I've been watching psychology videos and trained professionals analyse narcissists for about 2 years. This video is actually one of the beat I've ever seen. Identifying what traumas formed my understanding of love. This video helped me identify something big. Thank you!

[@vinceknowseverything]

These are just a few examples of toxic relationships. Now imagine how many more crazy stories like these exist. Even way worse 😬

[@learncadadia7832]

4:12: “more often than not, maybes don’t become yeses.”

[@nutelladorayaki1055]

ive also noticed you havent made a video of johnny depp on his charismatic and unique personality. would be happy if you would :)

[@grim.hustle]

I have a question for the charisma on demand for 99$ - how many minutes of content do you deliver?

[@i_read_bad_reviews]

I’ve been gaslight for over 10 years. I believed I was losing my mind. I actually thought there was something wrong with my way of thinking and that I was overly sensitive. If I tried to talk about something that bothered me or hurt my feelings I was told that I’m just being sensitive. I really thought that if I felt hurt or disrespected I was "taking it like a girl". If that sounds familiar then run! Your feelings matter. I Was made to believe that the abuse was normal and a “Man” should and would be able to take it day in and day out because it wasn’t abuse, it was me being a “sissy” or whatnot. Guys check ya self.

[@miranda.cooper]

My parents did this one to me as a teenager. They still try to gaslight me but I know what's up now.

[@TheSultan1470]

Really

[@i_read_bad_reviews]

Let me add that during my time of realization there was a point where I was actually defending this persons actions. They are 9 years older than me and I would tell myself that its because they come from a different generations when people were tougher. essentially gaslighting myself.

[@LateshaRenee]

So happy you got out, with your sanity!

[@mariejae]

This is a great video and using the recent events is very eye-opening and answers a lot of questions on their human behavior while relating it to mine and my partner. Sadly, he lacks self-awareness and is not ready to work on his issues. I'm definitely going to look up #1 and research why I use that type of language. Thank you!

[@007HPeter]

Man hits woman: he’s horrible should be imprisoned for life. Women hits man: both bad, toxic relationship, bad as each other.

[@Whofuckencares808]

For realz. Hate how this is normalized. Many many awful abusive women out there that hide.

[@LateshaRenee]

That's what you got from this vid?

[@mickey912]

Yes, i have definitely lived through these. Thank god i am on track to heal my childhood trauma

[@LateshaRenee]

Some moments will feel hard but once you completely heal, you will experience freedom like you've never felt before!! 🥰🥰🥰

[@carlosrobbins9178]

I do #2 :"Gather evidence against your partner." I find without evidence, I don't have clear examples of what I;m talking about. Conversely, if people cannot substantiate their claims, why should I take them seriously?

[@leeboriack8054]

We are in an age where having spouse is not necessary, it is a want.

[@jadendelgobbo476]

From 0:09-0:14 when Mr. Depp is saying how he has virtually lost everything, regardless of outcome, due to this trial, Amber Heard is smirking. You can see it in the eyes. It’s so subtle but you can see it

[@chauswriting]

Will have to watch this video over and over again! This is so important, and does not only apply to romantic relationships but also friendships, relationships between siblings, parents and children or coworkers even! Thank you so much for the valuable content!

[@NathalieLazo]

The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️

[@alimudarres1246]

Question is, how do we work on each area you mentioned? Does the Academy offer any modules on that? I’d appreciate if the creators would answer this. Thank you for your time

[@shootatsquare]

Best place to start is just to go through the exercises Charlie says, and write them down and write through how they apply to you! The channel has a few videos more focused on this stuff!

[@rubenvela7408]

Charlie has a course called Emotional Mastery that gets more at the things in this video.

[@tytalksYT]

Thank you. You sparked a transformative and healing thought within me.

[@ronaldwilliams9600]

Relationships should be about mutual support. Both are made stronger from this one practice. I may not agree with my partner all the time, but I support my partner 100% of the time. You have to agree to disagree on things. Don't "keep score" by bringing up old transgressions and past perceived slights, because you're carrying around all the negativity that comes with it. Also, lower your expectations because once you do this then a lot of stress and anxiety will evaporate. Accept that as we age we all grow to be wrinkled, gray, flabby, and weaker.

[@aen_sopi9994]

Honestly THANK YOU, this video is brilliant and really needs to be shared. bravo

[@wuhoolife]

Was waiting for this from your POV

[@Not_Your_Regular_News]

Great video. You’re very well spoken. Great insight.

[@FeistyBunny]

"few things can ruin your life faster than a toxic relationship" YES SIR! Gained 25 lbs and had a host of health issues because of one but thankfully got out in time

[@LH-yc5vy]

I went the opposite with my weight and every day I went to work, the women would "compliment" me on my skinny figure. All it really did was remind me 1 more time during the day of the toxic relationship I was in. I am also someone who believes that if someone wants to compliment me, compliment me on my work, not my physical appearance. That time frame was super stressful and I am glad I had good friends who help me get out.

[@cham_4w662]

Thank you for the amazing content. I was wondering if there are any charisma techniques applicable for written communication, like how to make engaging conversations through text, a charismatic way of writing your letter and what to avoid.

[@hereandnow3156]

You should do a video on Johnny Depp's way of speaking. He's absolutely hypnotic even when he's clearly nervous and starts to ramble

[@eo7063]

*VIDEO RECOMMENDATION* You absolutely need to do a video on Ika Wong from Big Brother Canada 5 she is someone I haven’t seen a video on that relates to her, but you’d have a lot of insight on her personality.

[@pbrucpaul]

It's getting to be like shopping for a car. appearance and price, and longevity. A what you see is what you get.

[@Vi-olynn]

My mom: never help out with house work Me: actually have and did Her: still complains and ignore what I have done and speak about what I should have done Me: tired and frustrated Her: yelling at me cuz I’m lazy Me: I don’t want do do anything at this point

[@oxide7880]

Nothing hurts like someone ignoring all your effort to make a bs point t make themselves feel better about being lazy.

[@YvesBelliveau]

Dude. These last few videos have been SO good! Very good insights and well put together. Thanks!

[@Emmea90]

Love your channel! Have you got anything on changing subject in conversations? I get so tired and often hesitate to meet some friends and even family because they dig too deep into impulsive thoughts. In example they can go through their entire shopping list or produce trains of thoughts that aren’t meaningful. All should be allowed to make small talk, but some people are extreme and I would love to make the time with them more meaningful instead of being stressed about seeing them.

[@leesalee1540]

This was a great explanation 👏🏻 Thank you 😌

[@hudbaoir3610]

I am very happy with my current partner, we get along great other then.. she doesnt want to have children. I do. Thank you for opening my eyes. As much as this hurts to even think, I may need to consider finding someone else or accept not raising a child of my own. I hate negative forethought, hence I held myself back from thinking about this deeply. I did think her attitude towards having children might change as we get to know each other more. I am moving to her country and house in few months. I want her to be happy. She deserves it. But now I realize.. her happiness may not lie with me :(

[@grainerburnie1980]

The one thing that no one is addressing is bad parenting! It's the most important job on the planet because it shapes the future generations! If you're bad at any other job you'll be immediately fired, so you can only ruin yourself! In marriage this is divorce! But when it comes to being a parent, how much ever terrible a parent you are you'll never get fired and you'll end up not only ruining yourself but another innocent and vulnerable life! To me that's the greatest crime anyone can commit on the planet! But sadly, lots of people get away with it! That's why there's no end to crime in the world! The root of it all evil is bad parenting! Bad parenting included not just being abusive or a bad influence for the child but also careless parenting that causes them to be negatively influenced by others, worst case of which is abandonment, and last but not the least is week/poor parents who are unable to protect their children from negativity in the world! If such people stop reproducing then everything negative that humans cause will end in this generation, mainly Crime and Poverty the two worst plagues affecting the planet! Good parenting makes a talented child become competent and make a positive impact in the world but bad parenting is a shackle that cripples even a highly talented child who then has to spent most part of life just trying to break free from it and consequently not being able express full potential in the world and instead have a miserable life until they break free that is if they can even manage to do so in their lifetime! Johnny Depp is a big example of even talented people who are successful being miserable due to not being able to break free from the shackles of bad parenting! He definitely would have had life a much better life if he had good parents and would never have been cought up in this mess! I'm also quite certain that Amber Heard is another consequence of bad parenting! Even the people who you think are the worst, most horrible people were once innocent children who were victims of bad parenting!

[@snowleopard9907]

Cant expect a parent to know mental health which should be taught in every school as a class in my opinion

[@grainerburnie1980]

@@snowleopard9907 then they shouldn't become parents. *Being parent is a choice.* People should get that into their heads first. If you have issues as still want to be a parent then you should first settle your issues or forget about it, there's no "me and my problems" once a child is born, there's only "my child's health & well-being". That's the weight wonderful parents take up willingly for their children and they're inturn rewarded a million folds when their children grew up to be extraordinary individuals in society! Unfortunately parenting in western societies are so messed up, the amount of child and teenage suicides speaks volumes about it. And eastern societies are following suit as is in every other aspect. Either the children kill themselves or become even messed up that their parents. This is the greatest plague that's affecting the world which has the most simplest fix which is making a wise choice whether to become a parent or not. Even messed up people can make this choice if their humanity is not far gone.

[@adrianfrazier3583]

Grainer I completely agree. I’m curious how did you grow up. Like parent wise?

[@grainerburnie1980]

@@adrianfrazier3583 well I can't disclose much but I will say I have first hand experience dealing with the result of weak/poor parenting not just within my family and clan but also with close friends! I'll can tell you for certain these parents have wonderful intentions wishing the best for their children but struggle at the cost of their health just to provide bare minimum support for their children & some even fail to do so! But the suffering that the children go through by watching their parents suffer physically and mentally for their sake is unspeakable and traumatic! Their only goal in life becomes to repay there debt to their parents and releave them from their suffering! These children actually feel it's their fault that their parents are suffering and it's worse than abandonment! The children are mentally scar then for life! This is the sickening reality of most poverty stricken Nations! The more poorer they are for some reason they think it's a good idea to have more children! While most rich have 2 to 3 children and most middle class have 1 child the poor have 4 to 6 children! How will there be an end to poverty is this is the case? The only reason is they act before they think! The children are who suffer the most in a negative Environment! This must change no matter what!

[@gavingleemonex3898]

I don't date. Either I connect or I don't. The rest is stuff that we do together from time to time.

[@ShawnDavid91]

This was a very important video. Thank you.

[@MaarioTilico]

Really deep stuff, guys! eye opening as always! Thank you so much for your work. It has helped me a lot

[@djtdawg87]

Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.

[@TheSultan1470]

Cool, this.

[@jadensarchive]

i would LOVE more of your takes on the ultimatum

[@BasedDep]

putting in watch later, sounds like a great video

[@DragonYeng]

watch later = never clicking it again

[@Kakarott2023]

That video cut me deep🥲 Thanks for the breakdown!

[@czypauly07]

This is absolutely spot on!

[@beckyc7263]

Ah-mazing breakdown. Thanks for this!

[@Anton-gj8dt]

It’s here! Already been hyped throughout the podcast :))

[@bigneiltoo]

Warning signs: 1) She cuts off your finger. 2) She takes a poop in your bed.

[@thenietzscheclub2181]

The first sign is your partner pooping on your bed.

[@Emil_96]

I really needed to hear this, thank you❤️

[@stebtha1]

You should do a video on Johnny knoxville. His personality really stands out among his group

[@micaswolff7968]

I've been searching for this, but I cannot seem to find a video on how to remain confident when you've made a mistake... And more importantly to accept and admit the mistake, without loosing other peoples respect. Is this something you can consider covering?

[@Maccycheez]

Personally I think one of the top early signs of a toxic relationship is when they take a dump in your bed.

[@Beech1900pilot]

This video is deep!

[@TheIdentifiedPatient]

I disagree on the part about collecting evidence. Sometimes you need proof of abuse or poor treatment. Or to refute lies and rumors made about you. I have a very toxic family and I'm the disowned scapegoat. One example of me collecting proof would be keeping screenshots of texts from one of my sisters asking me to watch her pets. Among many other things, she has spread rumors of me being an animal abuser, lying and vilifying me behind my back so she could get help and support to move back in with her parents rent-free. (We were roommates and I had helped her move out from the same mother she claimed was abusive and toxic. She essentially used the same spiel she told me about our mother, but about me, in order to move back in with her/our mother.) Two of my sisters have urged me to commit suicide. Perhaps if I had collected evidence of that then they would be shunned from family gatherings instead of myself. Same goes for my mother's antics and behavior. I don't really do anything with the small amount of evidence I collected. It just gives me a small sliver of peace to know that a few megabytes on a flash drive can disprove some of the terrible things people have said about me, or at least get people to question their legitimacy. I don't want to hit the self delete button and then have my toxic family continue to spin the narrative in their favor. If I had been the type who started collecting evidence at the beginning, then I would have proof of much more of my family's abuse. And I would have much more proof of my local police department harassing and stalking me while I was living in my car in a mall parking lot. It was me NOT collecting evidence that was very much to my own detriment. Thanks to a lack of evidence of all that has been said and done to me... well let's just say I have no friends and I haven't been to a family gathering in 8 years. My phone doesn't ring. My text messages don't ping.

[@knisayusuf]

You're a brave person. I hope everything is going well now.😊

[@josephmcbride6033]

I think the sentiment is that - if you feel like you need to prove your point of view to your partner there is a larger systemic communication breakdown and a lack of trust. Nobody should need to go to those lengths and if you are, you are in a relationship you shouldn't be in. As far as proving it to other people - why? Why would they need proof unless they also cannot trust or be trusted. Collecting proof is often just a symptom of a larger problem. Even after proof is obtained, it rarely has the desired outcome because, generally speaking, one or both of the parties involved aren't motivated by anything other than what they personally want or believe.

[@Mexicobeanpole]

The fact that you feel the need to and document and prove , just shows that you are surrounded by the enemy. That’s not what love is. You’ve been unlucky enough to be surrounded by highly toxic people. I hope you have cut contact with them all, and have started an entirely new life for yourself. Trust me. It’s worth it. I stepped away from a mentally abusive family to eventually find a man that every day is a loving and supportive state of being. Then that led me to seek out healthy friendships that make life beautiful and like living on a different planet than my childhood. I wish you so much luck and strength.

[@newt1756]

There's a saying to this influence of childhood trauma: "We search our partners though our inner child's hunt soul."

[@SirenEyeMedia]

You misspelled one of your hashtags, but nice video!

[@jcman-lp6lg]

I cannot diagnose a stranger but Amber acts/talks alot like my Narcissistic brother

[@kevinhudson3032]

She’s a borderline. Which mean utter chaos and complete destruction of anything good

[@edi9892]

There are three types of narcissism, I'm aware of: Psychopaths: quite rare and they are mostly easy going, hard to upset, and very rational. Regular narcissists: absurdly common today: addicted to being in the spotlight and being praised. They are actually delusional and will suffer a mental breakdown if their narrative falls apart. They also tend to offend their friends in order to push them away as they fear too close emotional bonding. Evil narcissists: they know that they are not awesome, but hold a huge grudge on the world for the cards they were dealt. They'll get incredibly jealous of success and happiness. They'll try to ruin it no matter the costs. They are the typical bullies, but it can go to serial killer levels. They are the type of parents that kill a pet to punish their kid for disobedience. All of them can be parasitic and highly manipulative. Conditional love and gaslighting are quite common.

[@kevinhudson3032]

@@edi9892 the last one sounds like my kind.

[@edi9892]

@@kevinhudson3032 Sigh. Then he's like my dad...

[@JCinerea]

Umm, when someone takes your fingertip off with a bottle? That might be a sign....

[@jessicadrew5531]

I am someone who very recently realized that I withdrawal and avoid conflict with my partner. Funny enough, I only do that romantically. I don't do that with family, friends or conflict with a stranger. I'm very straight forward. However, my dad was abusive and my mom would stay silent and then cry on that green chair in her room. He is a diagnosed narcissist unfortunately, so he never let my mom breath. He'd wake her up in the middle of the night just lay into her about something she said or did that he didn't like. She was sleep deprived all the time and sickly. But on even regular, normal and common disagreements (not even fights) I hold that resentment that then turns to me thinking about it over and over again and then thinking that maybe I'm just too sensitive and weak. It's like a resign to be a victim because that's what my mom did because trying to talk to a narcissist will drive you insane. I am more sensitive, but I can work on controlling my spiral thinking while still holding people accountable for how they treat me. This channel has helped a lot with recognizing my own behavior. It gets exhausting when it always traces back to my dad and childhood. I start to think "will I ever be rid of it? Will that one chapter of my life constantly ruin everything and my mind". It is better though and it keeps getting better. Also what choice do I have but to deal with it whenever it appears again. My advice explain why you took something wrong, why it effected you that way or even why they need to not repeat that behavior to your partner, if they're good then they'll think it over and then understand. However, don't use that as an excuse like you can't get better. Discuss the road block and trauma and then the plan to deal with it and hopefully overcome it. But your partner needs to know what's going on.

[@CymruCreator]

Just loking at that thumbnail, I feel really sorry for both of them. They are clearly in a lot of emotional pain and have been completely unable to find any healthy ways to heal that pain. It's horrible that their relationship became so bad as a result of their pain.