Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe - Greg Wallace

Greg Wallace.

[@tomralfe5428]

Anyone else’s algorithm been given this in December 2024?

[@virtualstatman]

Yup! Haha

[@andrewsimcock2050]

Says “Yeeeeeaahh” in Wallace algorithm

[@barrypickles6546]

Surely not "my" algorithm, just general trending garbage. Mr Wallace always reminds me of Hugh Dennis's James Bond on Mock of the week.

[@robnealon1809]

I think it's because of a waychmojo thing that mentioned it

[@ThrowerTimothy]

yep!

[@suededogs9670]

Come back Charlie , miss your shows so much ❤

[@alastairward2774]

Hopefully we get an end of year wipe.

[@phantomthread4385]

I know right? At least new year's wipe....

[@dorsetyid1969]

It’s been way way too long

[@blabber1975]

Yes to all this, I looked forward to New Year’s Eve because of his wipe 😂

[@bookofdaveandsteve]

Ordinary things here on YT may scratch the same itch?

[@MatthewPreston-el3cq]

The BBC weren't giving him enough exposure, so he decided to expose himself.

[@joethy]

Fair enough. Flashes of genius

[@smokingdamages7470]

😂

[@JohnStokes-c1o]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheSensimillionaire]

In the Black Mirror of Gregg Wallace's life he is sat at home, career in ruins, watching this video to remind him of the good ol' days and reading this comment, while eating a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle with no shirt on

[@007ptb007]

They should make that episode, that's the black mirror I want, razor sharp satire and controversy, imagine the shit storm "black mirror controversial episode gone too far" then there could be an episode about Charlie writing it and getting cancelled for writing it and he ends up living with Greg and they're both watching the new black mirror writing by Miranda.

[@nightlordAL]

👌​@@007ptb007

[@JeremySayers38]

He is richer than you so now we have an insight of your life not his.

[@007ptb007]

@@TheSensimillionaire well done you've upset the Gregg Wallace fan club, you're lucky its just one person.

[@richardjones4142]

They don't put shirts on Pot Noodles.

[@Picnicl]

You'll never see Humpty Dumpty and Greg Wallace in the same room. That's because Humpty Dumpty can't stand him.

[@marchfast8291]

Lol 😂

[@misterchippie]

Rumour has it that it was Gregg (two gees) Wallace that pushed him off the wall.

[@badwolf7777]

I heard it's because he was making inappropriate jokes about what he did to his wife 😉

[@notreallydavid]

​@@misterchippiethree gees!

[@michaelkemp5408]

Gregg Wallace also had a great fall

[@MrMmnngghh]

Brooker a decade ahead as per usual

[@opinion3742]

Can you make that understandable to me?

[@helloitsnicko]

[Charlie] Brooker (the writer and presenter of the show from which this clip taken) [is] a (one, singular) decade (a period of ten years) ahead (in terms of relevance; perhaps prophetic, due to recent allegations against Gregg Wallace) as per usual (inferring Charlie Brooker has made many similarly unexpectedly predictive pieces in the past).

[@easternundergroundsounds6977]

Bring back Charlie brookers wipe

[@JamesPimlott]

I'd give up all of black mirror to have it back.

[@ChicaneryBear]

He hasn't wiped for years. It's all caked on now.

[@RoamingAdhocrat]

​@@JamesPimlottall of the netflix-era black mirror

[@Robutube1]

The researcher(s) who found so many Greg Wallace clips deserve a credit... and a very long lie down. Goodness knows how many hours of recordings they trawled through to produce such a consummate Greg-a-thon. No, I don't understand his ubiquity either.

[@ruairimonophthalmos5458]

This comment also deserves FAR more likes.

[@Robutube1]

@@ruairimonophthalmos5458 The story of my life Ruairi, but your support here is most welcome :-).

[@zirkag99]

@@harrybirchall3308 Shut the fuck up Harry you twat

[@thedukeofnuts]

Must have been like wading through a sewer of banality....

[@name4505]

I have always assumed, without evidence, they can query a database of closed captions for various programs, just type in “Greg Wallace”

[@Jimdixon1953]

This actually encouraged me to start buying frozen sausages just so I could say to myself “How many bags?” in an incredulous Gregg Wallace voice as I wantonly lobbed them into my trolley.

[@thedukeofnuts]

Nah you just lob them in your trolley, then a few minutes later put them back in the freezer cabinet. Saves having to eat them.

[@ericlayton8888]

Only a faux-working class man of a certain age could truly get that hysterical over a total stranger’s shopping list

[@m0xiemarlinspike]

Oh no you didn’t

[@paulharrion3398]

😂 PMSL

[@badwolf7777]

🙌🏻

[@GoggledAgog]

Is that upper middle aged or lower middle aged

[@davidjames579]

Ageist. He's a pensioner.

[@stevei-c8739]

Wish this was still on, just the best observational TV programme. Als, introduced me to some comedy legends such as Diane Morgan, Tim Key and Doug Stanhope.

[@10timesover42]

Fucking love that they literally just listed every time Greg Wallace appeared on the BBC.

[@charliebeadle2979]

10TimesOver whilst complaining about padding a TV show, and the over abundance of Greg Wallace, by padding a TV show with Greg Wallace.

[@BigPhilBigBike]

5:36 It’s the year 2024 and we’ve incidentally solved a Crimewatch appeal

[@davidjames579]

"He looks like a bit like Gregg Wallace" so of course it couldn't be Gregg Wallace

[@stephencharlesworth2231]

1:54 "You're kidding me" like he's just received life-changing bad news 🤣

[@chrizzbenyon3993]

I miss you Charlie. Please make more Wipesfor us.

[@JLM304]

Came back to this after he got cancelled. Hilarious

[@FiveSigma72]

I think he's great personally. Oh no sorry I was thinking of potatoes.

[@jamesthecat]

​@@FiveSigma72Spud u like

[@patchso]

Even funnier now.

[@engineeredlifeform]

"Look at all this food they have in their cupboard!" Yes Greg, that's what cupboards are for, storing food. Now, hopefully the pandemic has taught us having a bit of surplus in isn't a bad idea, and this being 9 years old hasn't aged well. That and it has Greg Wallace in it.

[@AA-hg5fk]

Yeah I'm not sure the major lesson of the pandemic was to buy more than what you need to hedge against future episodes of panic buying.

[@engineeredlifeform]

@AA-hg5fk and nobody said that. Keeping some food in, in case of interruptions of the supply chain, is wise. People always used to do this, it's only recently people shop so frequently.

[@RamblesBrambles]

Finally off our screens for good..hallelujhah

[@misterchippie]

You mean ggood.

[@Nimboid-20]

... unless he scores a gig with Gromit!

[@nightlordAL]

Oh he'll be back ☹️🤢🤮

[@tonigrujic5325]

We will never have to watch him doing unspeakable things to spoons ever again

[@themills23]

Gbeebies ftw

[@remylebeau34]

The montage at the end is a perfect example of how TV (especially quiz shows) will advertise the latest "star" by just ramming their name down your throat. It just makes me think of the Alan partridge knowing me knowing yule bit where he's "subtly" advertising the rover

[@tnaus200]

Knowing me Alan Partidge, sacking you Glen Ponder (or Greg Wallace), ah-ha.

[@remylebeau34]

@@tnaus200 "NOW DO YOU WANT PETER, OR DO YOU WANT FANNY!?“

[@tnaus200]

@remylebeau34 put a cork in it :)

[@rattlesnakehawkweed1876]

Happy Christmas the poor folk who found out they were related to Gregg Wallace on 'Who do you think you are'

[@toffthe]

Greg Wallace has the charisma of a temporary drain cover

[@KW_814]

Which in this day and age is orgasmic

[@CharlieL292]

How dare you

[@stuartb6827]

@@CharlieL292 You're not a temporary drain cover are you?

[@CharlieL292]

@@toffthe no but I’m in a union with some that are

[@garyturner5739]

A temporary drain pipe has a lot more uses.

[@AirdrieRambler]

That's another 20,000 hours of content the BBC can never show again. You'd have thought they'd have learned by now.

[@TheOriginal_BigMac]

The teabagging at 5:24 hasn't aged well 😂😂

[@1pauljs]

Shooting stars team was trying to send a message 🤔

[@muzzajbrown]

You say that, but I enjoyed it.

[@tonigrujic5325]

Just a normal day for Greg

[@AA-hg5fk]

Disagree, it's aged like a fine wine.

[@donaldb1]

"Chunks of meat of dubious origin" - close up on Wallace.

[@weerobot]

🤣

[@l0n3w0lf9]

He was tea-bagging victims right before our eyes all along 🤣

[@mazamonx]

I wish Brooker went back to do these again. Genuinely miss this show. He did the occasional end of year ones before Black Mirror took over everything he did. I need it for my weekly catharisis of hating snarkily and pointing and laughing at everyone and everything while sitting at home... all alone.

[@XXXXX1985S]

Do you sit at home all alone eating a chicken+mushroom Pot Noodle, whilst being naked from the waist up and wearing a Gregg Wallace mask?

[@mazamonx]

@XXXXX1985S hahah yes!

[@XXXXX1985S]

@@mazamonx Good man👍 Me too.

[@andrewdarley3373]

If i was stuck on a desert island with gregg wallace and a ham sandwich, id eat gregg and talk to the ham sandwich.

[@tonigrujic5325]

Greg would love that

[@Mr-O-]

😂😂😂

[@danyoutube7491]

I watched the film Soylent Green recently. Imagine an impoverished future Britain in a world where climate change has ruined agriculture; Greggs the baker will be put in charge of feeding the country with a processed food supposedly harvested from the ocean, but it will in fact consist of Gregg Wallace clones bred solely to feed humanity. The clones will have to be contained in a soundproof room prior to their deaths so that they can neither sexually harass nor bore to death the workers at the clone factory.

[@MerlynMusicman]

I love interchangable jokes like this :) Ty

[@SamuelBlack84]

Either way they'll taste the same

[@richardharri8215]

This aged well.

[@BillOdyssey]

Particularly the Crimewatch bit

[@AndrewG975]

@@BillOdyssey Great idea from the BBC to use Crimewatch as a cross-promotional opportunity.

[@BillOdyssey]

@@AndrewG975 chef's kiss, i'd say

[@Jmcinally94]

Yeah this clip was the first thing I thought of when I heard they'd received so many complaints over the years. Nothing was gonna really stick to their golden boy if he was in so many of their shows.

[@danielreed5199]

Aged like an old bald pervert.

[@that.guy11]

Micky Flanagan's routine on this show is absolutely perfect

[@ThePorkypete51]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ioPTo6x9r7uLgpI

[@Amachaibou]

Let me drink all this custard and then we’ll sort it owt

[@muzzajbrown]

Good work PorkyPete

[@cfxcooper]

Great researching for this

[@ThatMarkGilroy]

I miss this show!

[@johnners911]

I guess the world has just gotten so ridiculous that it's impossible to do satire these days.

[@benrs99]

Buttery Biscuit Base. That is all.

[@PoisonousPen]

Ben Sturrock best me to it ;) By a year granted....but still.

[@Ben-nr2rm]

A real smack around the face

[@victorymansions]

All together now:

[@nikobellic2086]

I love the base

[@alexstorr3357]

Wobble, wobble, wobble wobble wobble

[@alexwebber2612]

New BBC game show “Know your nonce” where contestants have to identify a BBC wrong ‘un by matching their salary with the level of sanction they received after falling from greatness.

[@kieranmatiz]

He wasn’t accused by kids 😂

[@cyrus2728]

Yeah nonce is a bit strong

[@erdingtonsfinest937]

'' have a spoon full of sumac... And a sausage''. Brooker I love you

[@flashcracker1]

I still spend a huge amount of time switching channels just to escape Greg Wallace. I also spend a huge amount of time switching channels to try and find more Charlie Brooker.

[@beady123]

2015 : "you cant complain about how much Greg Wallace you are getting" 2024 : hold my beer...

[@doubl0dave]

Gregg Wallace, a man who is surely going to have a long and controversy-free career…

[@MythicSuns]

Greg Wallace is like the BBC's answer to the plumber from the Ratchet & Clank games.

[@eccohpeach6961]

Ben Knight it’s because of socio-economic disparity

[@TheFlygonproductions]

What an awesome reference that's just given me a very funny surreal visual now lmao

[@rarsebumbaclaat2659]

Beans Beans Beans ! Gregg has spilt his beans everywhere.

[@YourLocalGP]

It's spelt Greggg

[@samm8994]

First thing I thought of after seeing the news about Gregg. Now what're the BBC going to do without him as a multipurpose supply-host??

[@ethzero]

4:20 Oh boy. That's a lot of "Greg Wallace" to erase from the BBC Archives 😮

[@AA-hg5fk]

Got to spend the licence fee somehow.

[@RichardPonsford-kv2uy]

2024 It seems quite pertinent to the conversation

[@RossKempOnYourMum01]

His name has been said so many times now it's lost all meaning. It's "Gregwollis" all one word, much like "Siralan".

[@jimmyrustler8983]

Gregwollis; A disease you get from chewing too much.

[@Will-kt5jk]

6:31 - the last line is :chef’s kiss: in 2024 😂

[@spectre2635]

i find it funny that each tin of beans is a different type of bean

[@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere]

Mung. Kidney. Mister. But today we're asking what's YOUR favourite bean?

[@returnoftheredeye]

@@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere Wallace was recently made into a has-been.

[@FitzyCify]

@@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere "Mister"! Very good!

[@purehyperbole5727]

I challenge the BBC to explain why they thought Greg was valuable enough to give him a twenty year career.

[@nectarinedreams7208]

Because lots of people watched the shows he was on and didn't write in to complain about him. There, I've told you instead. Enjoy your weekend.

[@johnchrysostomou9417]

It's an old school tie brigade. Not many working class types accept their nonsense. Ones that do are few hence they get classed as talent despite the vile behaviour. Is my assumption.

[@SiskinOnUTube]

I don't watch much TV. That explains why I've seen Greg Wallace in something.

[@fecklessmovies]

Haha, yes. I have watched almost zero TV for the past 20 years but I’m still well aware of who Greg Wallace is! I have to add though, a friend of mine used to work for him before he became a TV star and tells me he was a really good bloke/good boss.

[@Randomnpc202]

December 2024, we all know why we're here

[@ashthetic_art]

I can't possibly imagine any newsworthy reason why this nine year old video about Greg Wallace popped up on my home feed.

[@musicwithmorals]

I'm proud to say this is the first time I've heard of Greg Wallace.

[@davidcauley695]

Or he's american

[@youweechube]

i like him.

[@zimzimma5688]

Your life will never be the same again

[@londontrada]

Greg Wallace is an OK fella but who the fuck is Charlie Brooker?

[@asderc1]

@@londontrada you make me sick

[@mattludlow9740]

Onions onions what you gonna do

[@LANBritain1]

alalalalaalalala

[@Tubeite]

Cry

[@YourLocalGP]

You'd expect "what you gonna do" to be the shite second line that someone can only dream up to rhyme with a decent one.

[@davidjames579]

Its like a Gregg Wallace tribute montage. Last time we'll see one of those.

[@seanjones2524]

As that guy on twitter found out after asking Wallace if he could promote a charity sponsorship, it's Gregg with two G's

[@jbreckmckye]

Mastertwat

[@GiroWeed]

Bring back Screenwipe / Weekly wipe / Annual 20xx wipe - Anything wipe!! Please help Greg Wallace!!

[@brandonprince3297]

Look forward to a new TV show concept - MASTERCHAV.

[@PHILD0]

Looking back this has to be some sort of Lee and Herring "Savile wink nudge" type bit about Brooker knowing the rumours about Gregg Wallace. Just saying his name over and over. He knew he was the "unnamed tv chef who w*nked a baguette" for a start!!

[@only1icon1801]

I remember Micky Flanagan doing a bit on this and genuinely thought he was making it up. The fact that it was a tv show us a good reason why so many have ditched the tv license, including myself

[@keithposter5543]

December 2024: Now appearing on Newsnight and Crimewatch

[@LeeCaithness]

It speaks volumes about Britain that the BBC thinks that what people want to watch is two wealthy celebrities lecturing poor people for buying frozen sausages and baked beans of all the massively expensive things.

[@peelben]

Wallace is horrible, but I think you might have missed the point of the show. They are supposed to be saving them money and they are going out and buying things they already have at home. Some people really are that stupid. Besides, if they really are spending £13 grand on groceries, they aren't poor. Even if they have several kids, that's ridiculous.

[@AA-hg5fk]

Not to mention the taste reviews of different tea bags, definitely prime time quality TV!

[@johnmartinez7440]

And yet, plenty of people DO watch this. Just go to any mother-in-law's house.

[@XXXXX1985S]

This is exactly the sort of programme I want the BBC to spend my licence fee on, and I'm a normal member of the British public - fat, tattooed and retarded.

[@TheHiddenite]

the KZbin algorithm earns a bonus for recommending me this also Wallace sayings beans and all I can think of is "beannss, Gromit"

[@RobertGillontheinterweb]

I wonder what the middle aged women of a certain age think of KZbin’s promotion of Greg Wallace’s back catalogue

[@jdixon390]

I guess it's more Charlie making fun of Gregg

[@Thematt11]

Nobody ever seems to mention that the producers of these shows are obviously working with the supermarkets because otherwise they wouldn't let them film there...

[@johnners911]

Well this was just like watching any BBC News episode in December 2024. Nothing but wall to wall Wallace, while the world literally burns around us.

[@Captck]

I actually miss both of these shows!

[@lazslostpierre9951]

Never to be seen again in 2025. Byyeeee Gregggggggg

[@franklingoodwin]

The algorithm doing it's thing putting this in my feed now Gregg Wallace has been cancelled 😂

[@johnbumstacker]

I miss Wipe.

[@kmanc8571]

this is brilliant. The BBC makes some trash shows since they want to stretch their funds, then pay charlie brooker to make fun of those shows, stretching their funds even further, and producing quality TV on top of those awfully boring shows they produce anyway!

[@MwahMwahProductions]

Straight to 'newest first' comments for this one! 😂

[@returnoftheredeye]

This feels like a subliminal advert for high street bakery chain, 'Greggs'.

[@foxyjnr9874]

Aged very well

[@Ayoayoayoayoayoayoa]

Imagine watching that show and being entertained and satisfied. Christ.

[@monoperative]

It's endlessly depressing that we've lost Anthony Bourdain, but Greg(g) Wallace still walks the earth.

[@Freehardy]

I hadn't given that a thought. You've made me depressed. Fucking shitey shitty world. I live in the UK, I have to put up with these cunts........endlessly.......and there's fucking loads of them....i'm not a man of faith but gawd give me strength

[@circattle]

And Wallace isn't even a chef. He's just a professional complainer about food.

[@spaceinaspace8452]

Yeah shame Gregg has a successful marriage 🤷‍♂️

[@jamesmorgan7629]

Bloody brilliant, where is Charlie Brooker?

[@GazB85]

A new Black Mirror series is coming out soon.

[@lordprotector3367]

Netflix.

[@orlandotrustfullandhiscosm4110]

Im sure Gregg Wallace has appeared on Pointless Celebrities. Now there's an apt TV show title if ever there was one!

[@berryeyes667]

Charlie Brook just beyond good! X

[@embo_5787]

I’m looking for the clip where Charlie Brooker had a section interviewing production runners, the one where a female runner spoke about chef show she worked on and the male host came in whilst they were cleaning up and started pretending that a baguette or something was his c--, waving it around. I’m not saying its him but now I REALLY wonder who it was…

[@returnoftheredeye]

Is that the same segment where an intern says the boss called her into the office to stand by the window, to act as a shade from the sun?

[@HaveYouGotACameraOnYourPhone]

Might be s3 e6?

[@patchso]

Beans! Beans! Beans! I feel I should do a suitable Greg Wallace joke about whatever he’s been accused of, or found guilty of, but I can’t be arsed.

[@goodlookinouthomie1757]

"Doesn't bother me what colour the box is" 🤣

[@Altn246]

This has aged like fine wine

[@grimTales1]

I hadn't thought of getting strawberries - now I fancy some as I havent had strawberries for a while - devious supermarket bastards.

[@googleface3052]

Baked bean tintervention. Brilliant.

[@nomduclavier]

It's canned food! It doesn't fucking matter if you buy it now or later!

[@otocan]

I know, right? That bit didn't make any sense...

[@canturgan]

I think they're survivalists.

[@grimTales1]

So they have multiple cans of beans that last a long time - who the fuck cares?

[@Xighor]

Nom du Clavier not really, prices can change, recipes can change, it can go out of date after awhile

[@Snagprophet]

Also beans is healthy and cheap, particularly non-baked beans beans. So I don't really understand what they were mad at.

[@justsomethoughts519]

I feel bad now, I watched my parents house & bro after living alone and when I saw their cupboards (slightly) passive-aggressively left all the stuff that was past its use by date in the middle of their floor to make the point, that they probably bought stuff they already had over time. Then again I didn't make a tv show out of it.

[@rogueriderhood1862]

Well you wouldn't, you're not Greg Wallace, are you?

[@nigelcarren]

Does anyone have the guitar TAB for 'Onions Onions what you Gonna do' please?

[@returnoftheredeye]

Also, the lyrics please.

[@GoggledAgog]

[E]----------------------[G]----------------------[E] Onions, onions, _what_ you gonna _do_ [E]---------------------[A7]--------------[E] Onions, onions, _for_ me and _you_ [B7] _Lalalalalala_

[@davidjames579]

Gregg was going to sing when they come for you but he didn't want to put that idea in the Police's head.

[@cbuzz2371]

I was hoping for a new Screen Wipe Brooker, more BBC repeats

[@the_local_bigamist]

So many clearly thought he was a wrong'un, Charlie Brooker did too which served my confirmation bias in a small, petty way at the time and now the algorithm is here to remind us all.

[@uniquerebeljaney3639]

I miss this show.

[@davidb8731]

Given how ubiquitous (omnipresent?) he has been, GW must have been doing SOMETHING right to keep the complaints down to double figures

[@nathant1428]

I bet he enjoyed that teabag bit on Shooting Stars! 😆

[@paulgreen1821]

Looks like all those hoarded beans have well and truly been spilled…..

[@defragsbin]

I wonder how many HPC (Harassments Per Clip) Gregg was responsible for. I'm betting it'll be around the 0.8 mark

[@RandallSlick]

That aged well.

[@TheLANMAC]

I didn't know who Greg Wallace was when I clicked and now the words have lost all meaning after hearing them so many times.

[@Mirandorl]

This is the modern equivalent of the pathe information films where a posh man told working class people stuff like not to eat glass or let a woman drive

[@returnoftheredeye]

"Silly poor people, change your foolish peasant ways!"

[@WilliamTebbutt-c7y]

Women, know your limits!!!

[@EmptyGlass99]

Bit of a result in recent weeks - first Jermaine Jenas and now Greg Wallace. We'll never see them on telly again!

[@simonslaughter6098]

Shame BBC didn’t have same attitude to Huw Edwards,

[@Phlegmcandango]

I think you'll find its Gregg Wallace, two gs please.

[@ArnoldQMudskipper]

5:18 villain arc begins

[@dogsgobooom]

Vic and Bob knew what they were doing in that Shooting Stars bit.

[@borismuller86]

Greg Wallace