Charlie Rose And 'The Crusty Paw'

Today's pairing of sleaze: Charlie Rose and John Conyers.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@boonlincoln]

Monologue Order: 1. Charlie Rose And 'The Crusty Paw' 2. Trump On Roy Moore: 'You Have To Listen To Him' 3. Trump Even Made Pardoning Turkeys About Obama

[@Jackkenway]

boonlincoln Finally, I found your comment! 😁

[@philbertphettbart7930]

Bless you!

[@Vapouriste]

@boonlincoln I love people like you

[@biostarkick7]

MVP.

[@mrudulasrivatsa]

I always look for you!

[@sagewalter4096]

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: "It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"

[@4elysia]

sage walter HAHA OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD Lol!!! Lmao 😂😂💀Im CRYING!!!

[@MrHarsh3600]

I can.

[@LividImp]

I've got a video of me picking up peanuts with it on my channel.

[@SushantThapaliya]

It said nothing. It was hunted and its carcass imported back to the US by Trump Jr.

[@kefkapalazzo1]

Lmao this is extra funny because elephants control their dicks

[@BladeWinters]

This is the year where all your heroes turn out to be creeps and all the villains are more evil than you could have imagined. 2017 somehow worst than 2016

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

lotta loved people died 2016. This is the year of the walking dead

[@milocatnip5544]

Yeah, and 2018 is shaping up to be hell's own suburb, I tell ya. I wanna be sedated... 😨

[@firsttimeisawjupiter1031]

BladeWinters wouldn't go as far pal. 2016 was a shitty year all around

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

well we all want that +Milo. Wake me up when...

[@elenachristian9860]

I like to think of 2017 as 1969 Part Deux.

[@SonjaDawn]

The sexual harassment cases go far beyond the act, which is why the victims do not talk about it so easily. The pressure is piled on them to stop them from talking. I'm sick of people bitching about how long it took them to speak up, see how you go if it ever happens to you. I hope it never does.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Word :(

[@MrChadwke]

Once its buried, you want to forget it.

[@SonjaDawn]

MrChadwke sad but true...the kicker is, you'll never forget it.

[@SonjaDawn]

Shade Bleu I hope people keep speaking up. Change happens when majority rules. Sadly that's how society works.

[@dew2912]

Anita Hill /Clarence Thomas

[@Patrick-jj5nh]

1:20 If PBS is short for pubes...then CBS is short for crabs? XD

[@alfatazer_8991]

Cubes... ...Of shit.

[@DuranmanX]

If Stephen Colbert can go after Charlie Rose, Al Franken and Bill Cosby, then Republicans in Alabama should be able to go after Roy Moore

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

yup.

[@DrRockso1987]

Adrian Duran - B-b-b-b-b-but Roy Moore denied it!! Fake news!! Fake news!! /Republicans

[@pawnpoker6874]

Adrian Duran I hope they do.

[@davidmcfall1341]

"But Hillary!"

[@pawnpoker6874]

It is the left that consider themselves holier than thou, the moral guardians, the enlightened. You don't like the fact we know you are full of shit do you? Eat it up.

[@NewMessage]

'The Crusty Paw' is the worst Street Fighter special move ever.

[@RepublicOfUs]

It's probably a pretzel motion, too.

[@rebeccatrishel]

I was sexually harassed by a busboy at an old job, and though I reported it, he wasn't fired and went on to do the same thing to a female coworker of mine. See, if you report something to HR, they'll tell you not to speak about it to anyone. And this was for a guy who had no power.

[@rebeccatrishel]

Srbistanik 01 It's hard to describe without demonstrating it, but he pinched the meat of my upper arm - not just the skin, but the muscle - and twisted it, and said, "Does that hurt? I'm hurting you because you won't go out with me." It didn't leave a mark. I don't know, I reported it and he never spoke to me again, which I guess is what is supposed to happen. Later on, I found out he did the same thing to a younger coworker, she was 19. I was 23.

[@allcommiescaneatshitanddie2604]

Rebecca Johnson but was he a liberal?

[@ember-brandt]

@Rebecca Johnson -- JFC, that makes me so fucking angry. I am so sorry that happened to you, ugh.

[@rebeccatrishel]

Thanks. It didn't have a big negative impact on me or anything, but it definitely affected the way I see these scandals about sexual harassment and abuse.

[@jjmaze]

I was also by some kitchen staff at a restuarant I worked at. Told about it and the male managers did nothing, nada. He later tried the same thing on another worker whose boyfriend came up and put the guy in the hospital. The girl got fired. There was a lot of bullshit going on at that resturant, a lot.

[@whatahero2337]

As a college student who is currently getting his degree in political science, and has worked in the office of a house member in DC, I can tell you how hard it is for a person to report sexual harassment. Its not even cause of the list of requirements stephen said, its because its a career ender for anyone who does it. In this line of work, connections are everything, and now that she has reported it against a member of her party, it'll basically be impossible for her to get a position with anyone in her party now. She knew the cost of reporting it, and she did it despite that. I really respect her for that.

[@sinvector8020]

Breaking: Luke Skywalker accuses Yoda of harassment and inpropriate "piggybacking" during Dagobah training.

[@lunamypet]

That’s hilarious for the Charlie Rose theme song. Omfg. Love Colbert.

[@jsbc003]

I really hope Colbert has no skeletons in his closet...that would be sad

[@alexandergoldman]

ok ima say it. 2:16...stephen has a good yoda impression. laughed out loud. Colbert always keeps it real

[@JCTiggs1]

"As long as these wonderful men deny the awful sexual assault allegations, I will totally believe them, full pardons for everyone! JOBS! " - Donald J Trump

[@Bleyluige]

JCTiggs it is just words unles you can prove it!

[@mytexasdays1526]

You got it spot on. Hilarious yet tastefully delivered. Women, continue to speak out. We will conquer this.

[@abhishekjain6452]

"Shoulders I will rub" 😂. Lol

[@NewMessage]

"Capitol Heel' fits though...

[@channelforpositivitylunder9385]

*Who would have thought Charlie Rose* .. would be one too..?

[@synonymous_]

WEAKKNEED where did he do that? Im interested, do you have a lonk?

[@synonymous_]

WEAKKNEED *link sorry

[@dudra2469]

Crusty Paw sounds like an Inspector Gadget villian. LOL

[@Hawbitten]

"Here comes Charlie, OH NO!" XD

[@amalkoury9149]

The gun jokes were on point

[@regmunday8354]

I'm profoundly shocked - always thought Charlie Rose was Gay until now.

[@503leafy]

That bit John Oliver has on him looks even worse now. kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z4PVq6uqosp8eq8

[@doreenmumbi9006]

Lol!

[@MsOba11]

The Charlie Rose Show theme song baaahahahaaaha 😂

[@Hobbyrepubliken]

That gun joke 😂👌

[@theresahess9740]

So if the sexual allegations are a hurricane right now, does that mean we are experiencing Hurricane Harvey?

[@MBA2804]

Ok ... 2018 we need to have a chat. Your older sister 2016 turned out all morbid, dark, and grim what with all the celebrity deaths and the election, 2017 was and still continues to be a nightmare that I cant wake up from so please... please 2018 just be anything but what 2017 has been so far

[@alexlandherr]

Yes! Right monologue part on first attempt!

[@WarmerMusicVideos]

Matt Lauer's got big balls. He dangles them in the halls.

[@epotter397]

I feel like the whole perspective of “things are going terrible everything is terrible” in the wake of all of the allegations is ridiculous. Women and other disempowered people are being assaulted regardless of whether it is public or not. I’m under no illusion about the majority of men and how they treat women. To me this is a form of liberation; the fall of all of these men is like watching tyrants fall. Being surprised and saddened by all of this is a massive privilege that most men have but don’t acknowledge.

[@rodrodh]

In all honesty I was actually quite surprised by the Franken allegation. But it also seems like it was supposed to be a joke that was in bad taste? It is still bad, but in my opinion, it does make it not quite as bad as people doing it for actual sexual gratification such as Trump, Moore, Rose, and others. He should pay some sort of compensation but I think after all that Franken will have learned his lesson. I can guarantee you however, that the others (mainly trump) will learn nothing if all they have to do is pay monetary compensation because they seem to lack moral compasses, and they have already had to pay monetary compensation for similar or the same things. So yeah I have been absolutely 0% surprised about any of the other ones.

[@mistressfannypack9184]

🙏🙏

[@RollingOrmond]

What happened to their day in court? Careers ruined overnight based on allegations. This is more of a lynch-mob than justice.

[@XemnasKaijin]

I am sorry, but this is a garbage idea. Men have massive privilege because there has been a massive boom in sexual allegations from the left side of the isle? It has nothing to do with gender, but wealth and power; simple as that. Harvey Weinstien has been indicted, and there are on-going investigations with Al Franklin and Charlie Rose. Bill Cosby's career/reputation has been utterly destroyed, and even if he wins his case no one will ever respect him. That doesn't sound like privilege to me, that sounds like Justice. I'd also like to point out that simply because more men commit sexual misconduct crimes is not a representation of men, or our alleged privilege, but shitty individuals who have acted against the rules and should have to deal with the consequences. Tell you what, Potter, I will acknowledge my 'male privilege' when you acknowledge your privilege for being a resident of the US.

[@ember-brandt]

@E Potter -- Amen, I could get used to a world where men actually experience _consequences_ for once.

[@Buenomars]

The Royal Tenenbaums made fun of his behaviour long ago!

[@tianaroy5566]

that yoda impression is A+

[@spacegrass8886]

There's a reason Yoda exiled himself to Degobah, couldn't keep his hands to himself!

[@SpiralBreeze]

Why did she even go to the beach house?! That's like the first person dying in a horror film because they went to the basement!

[@MrChadwke]

Probably lied about there being a party. It's a common ploy of scumbags. "The other guests will be here soon. Meanwhile, here's my dick!"

[@ThegreatMizuti777]

Forgot the part where potentially corroborating statements by coworkers are blankedly excluded from consideration. I wish I could say that if I didn't know any better I'd think these rules were deliberately designed to make reporting as hard and unpleasant as possible while minimizing any consequences for the accused, but... I can't because these rules are so blatantly biased that no person with a functioning brain can possibly come to _any_ conclusion _other_ than the fact that they were designed that way on purpose.

[@Lycan_24_7]

LMFAO, Colbert is awesome

[@simongiles9749]

Now that I think of it, isn't there a bit in Empire where Yoda is giving Luke's shoulders a bit of a rub, after being carried through the swamps all day?

[@LividImp]

I have a hard time seeing Franken as a predator...but Charley Rose...he's prev'd it up _on camera._

[@greengabe5]

All these men are losing their jobs because of sexual harassment but is it only men who are doing this? I understand a large majority is but I do know some women are guilty as well. Stand up men and speak out. I understand it can be “embarrassing” but sexual harassment is not a laughing matter and both parties should be held accountable.

[@gerholdegdseffecaddy7092]

greengabe5 I completely agree!!! But there does seem to be a stronger barrier for men than women. If anything, its almost a "pat on the back"---a good thing when a woman advances on a male. If they don't like it they're immediately labeled as gay, laughed at or lying. People tend to see males as capable of handling themselves while women are protected.

[@jillibeens57]

Then men need to call out their female abusers.

[@snausages43]

Charlie Rose and the Crusty Paw is one volume of my Charlie Rose murder mystery fanfiction series.

[@bikerusl]

They need to change that office of compliance completely so that it is helpful to victims

[@rbwjakfjenwbw1009]

Woah woah woah, hold the fuck up? So you're saying that you can't mention your horrifying sexual assault experience with anyone around you, even your therapist, a person who should be trained to help people deal with traumatic events such as sexual assault? That's like having a broken leg and not being allowed to see a doctor. That is total BS!

[@anjupadma3431]

Is it really shocking though...? Only men find it shocking... It's like they were sleepwalking and they had no idea...

[@David_Last_Name]

I fully admit that I do find this shocking, and I also fully understand that in hindsight this should have been the most obvious thing in the world. I'm deeply sorry to all the women that are saying "OF COURSE THIS IS HAPPENING!!", but the sliver lining is that it's being brought to our attention now and so moving forward, nobody is allow to claim ignorance of this problem.

[@CampaignerSC]

"Only men find it shocking." So are the women around me who are shocked lying to me or are you just pretending to be an all-knowing god?

[@infinitude7625]

Well, I guess I am shocked to learn that I wasn't the only one who was harassed as an engineer in a white male dominant workforce that it has been pervasive almost in every corner of the world. I guess I chose to ignore and pretend nothing was wrong for a long period of time, but in retrospect, it was indeed awkward and uncomfortable. I wish I knew what to do or how to handle that situation properly if it was possible.

[@DoomJoy666]

or like they find it absolutely absurd to sexually assault anyone. maybe cuz it feels like all men are called out for being creeps. so when there's a real one it's shocking

[@PyroNexus22]

well I'm sorry I haven't been following personal lives of celebrities

[@lumpy0100]

Thanks The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.:)

[@spinalcrackerbox]

Man, that gun joke was a real zinger.

[@henrydawkins3128]

I wonder when someone. Is file charges against Trump?

[@503leafy]

16 women already did, White house says they all are lying.

[@henrydawkins3128]

503leafy He wants people to think it's more fake news

[@503leafy]

He does like using that phrase a lot.

[@heyheytaytay]

That Thomas Friedman joke bombed because Americans don't know who Thomas Friedman is XD. Nice try though.

[@socrappyicoulddie]

I didn't think I'd laugh at anything about this but I cracked up at that theme song

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

You rawk Stephen!!

[@hiimnoteasy]

This is patriarchy, Stephen. Every single woman has a #MeToo because abuse has been supported and tolerated.

[@NikiSaraswati]

I think most women have experienced sexual abuses once in their lifetime, that includes myself.

[@hiimnoteasy]

Niki Saraswati I'm sorry to hear that. You didn't deserve it. Hope that person is appropriately punished. I know - it's not like one guy is responsible...it's the actions of many people.

[@NikiSaraswati]

Nah, it was partly my fault, when I was young I thought men can be friendly and attentive to you without any sexual attraction. I think most women would respect any men and likewise demand respect too. But there are certain individuals, male and female that they agree for give and take deal which is done in the bed.

[@NikiSaraswati]

Temptation is very difficult to overcome, unless you stay away and don't tolerate it, the consequences would be zero financial gain. But I feel peaceful in my chosen path, it is more than the financial gain for me.

[@yura50597]

This is so dumb. Guy got fired for ALLEGATIONS (!). Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

[@MrChadwke]

Maybe he works in an "at will" state. Employer or employee can terminate agreement for any reason.

[@someshwarrao8382]

He isn’t in jail. He might be innocent(unlikely), but keeping him on air wouldn’t make business sense, if not anything else.

[@leemonade6943]

Thanks for recalling the gun issue Stephen! Funny how things get lost in the rush of everything that’s going on these days.

[@ryanocalleigh3072]

Colbert has again become the master. After a shaky start, he is in stride and is a very worthy heir to Dave. (Honorable mention: Seth Meyers for his biting commentary in the "A Closer Look" segment).

[@T.K.KIRKLAND.]

damn so many in such short period of time.i am scared if I am the next one that ends up being a sexual perv

[@ricardoblasio1338]

Watch out Stephen...you might be next.

[@bringthepayne7561]

Ricardo Blasio Doubt it only because as much as he does to Trump....Trump himself would have been outted this man😦

[@sailenkatel3436]

I fear it's him or Stewart next.

[@ember-brandt]

Republicans so mad their party is full of perverts that they're frothing at the mouth for Dems to suffer now. lol. Whatever party you are, save your pitchforks for when an actual crime has been committed, else you just look like sore fucking losers.

[@mlpfanboy1701]

alexdapostman meanwhile Fox News, britebart and info wars will defend any right wing nut in this dispite evidence.

[@nelsonricardocosta]

i wouldn't be surprised. these rich celebrities are a bunch of hypocrites

[@Y0utub3me]

Colbert been on 🔥

[@jackie83us]

Why are so many people bringing up innocent until proven guilty? This hasn't gone to court so it's not applicable.

[@Mutation80]

Guilty until proven innocent! Great. it's great, it's the bestest plan, yuge improvement over the old ways where people got a chance.

[@kathyinthewallowas9190]

to damage even more people.

[@Mutation80]

Indeed, screw the bad hombres at any cost. It's great, trust me!

[@Mutation80]

@Dookje Also very true, greatest country the world has ever seen!

[@maryfayia7224]

He has not been convicted yet and is not in jail. I think he lost his jobs because most corporations have a clause about sexual abuse/harassment in every contract. His apology was read on the news as well. So it's not like the whole thing was made up by the women.

[@ambriaashley3383]

There's guilty before proven innocent, and then there's evidence and probable cause. People are smart. We can hear the facts of a story and decide if a thing at least makes sense, and determine how serious it is. He isn't convicted, but when a person has multiple accusers, a pattern of behavior, or corroborated stories in a newspaper, (or settlements), and a weird half-ass public apology, I think it's safe to say it's bad. It makes us think. And it should.

[@emilytreads]

I'm really glad Stephen addressed this, especially when it's on his own network. The crusty paw ... Wtf???

[@theevilvegetablepatch9873]

Killin it! :-)

[@URKillingme100]

Accusers seem better off just going straight to the police. Nothing more news worthy than a politician being led out of the office in handcuffs.

[@jordanf286]

Colbert missed the perfect opportunity to show a picture of Yoda on Luke Skywalker's back "rubbing his shoulders."

[@ScytheNoire]

255 day for a sexual assault complaint, and an NDA. That is criminal and obviously designed to cover up the crimes.

[@skler69]

Interesting how corporations have far higher standards than our government. You would think that would be the other way around.

[@paulobagsic1910]

his Yoda voice is good

[@lyledeyounges1276]

They fired him in a heartbeat because of allegations? This could get out of hand...

[@Joe_R_B]

ohh Chappelle's show jedi scandal yoda reference :D nice

[@adamcaswell1924]

Ok, am I the only one that thinks a back rub from Yoda would be freaking amazing?

[@platogenova9573]

He’s 10 times the interviewer Colbert could ever be

[@Dave.666.]

You keep Yoda out of this!

[@CompBioQuest]

hahahhaha, this is a horrible thing to happen no anyone but I love Stephen, he makes laugh.

[@fireant202]

This is the real swamp that needs draining.

[@elenachristian9860]

I wonder if these men know how truly disgusted, to the point of vomiting, the women they harassed are by them.

[@amsterdam9290]

Reported to HR I am 🤣😂

[@arnoldmanuel3311]

Colbert: Who's next, Yoda? Me: Dave Chappelle already did that one. It was hilarious.

[@Bleyluige]

gropping Al Feanken!

[@alexlandherr]

A hurricane of sexual harassment? Sounds like the description of promiscuous people in Dante’s Inferno.

[@NikiSaraswati]

you are also doing a monologue, are you aware of it?

[@gordonanderson3111]

We used to call this living in California. Reveal THIS Stephen... my allegations... Can a "torrential flood" of accusations lead to a trickle of JUSTICE?

[@creatingpeace8945]

The robes... a Hugh Heff symbol, dating back to first century Caligula times at least.

[@stacyneuman8619]

Oh Yoda.... who would have guessed?Never saw that coming😮

[@bumbleWeaver]

the Colbert laugh train is starting to run dry, but this was a GOOD one

[@TheReal008Zulu]

Trump's hands are referred to as 'The Stale Orange'.

[@binturongjustice]

DON'T DO YODA DIRTY LIKE THAT

[@animeowza]

That jibe was Thomas Friedman was unfair. XD Discussions on the convergence of political history and economic institutions are sexy.

[@blazinchalice]

Stephen was cooking with gas tonight! Hoooooly smokes, he burned the you-know-what offa those guys.

[@kimmariefaber4636]

My beautiful 19year old daughter was fired TWICE for complaining of being sexually harassed at work. What “rights” does she have against this power. I am so discouraged about this patriarchal society. All I can teach her is to look down and never be nice? I feel so sorry for all the girls in this world, and I was once one, too.

[@mylesschutte6257]

Keep it from your therapist? That's redundant. Counselor: "what brings you in today?" Client: "I'm not allowed to talk about it but my job is making me come here...."

[@brianknickerbocker8518]

I think Yoda came out when the robe opened.

[@Myrea_Rend]

To be fair, Yoda does rub Luke's shoulders at one point in The Empire Strikes Back.

[@JamesR624]

1:41 Wow. That really sounds like a very Bojack thing to do.

[@DagobertX2]

Like it's intentionally obscured to report harassment, how convenient...

[@justincastillogayray]

Did he say Capitol Hill or Capitol Hell first?

[@SAMZIRRA]

Yoda? To far Steve, to far.

[@TheRagev3]

Stephen might need to make an appointment, I think he has the case of a yellow spine.

[@subrisubrika5652]

Lol anyone else think that was a hilarious froidian slip when he said "capital here" instead of hill? 4:09

[@jillibeens57]

That's one screwed up sexual harassment policy. I wouldn't go through that, I'd just go straight to the news!

[@DoctorFurioso]

I love that Colbert's getting fired up by this shit. Dropping the F bomb, giving the finger, cornering Ben Affleck. For someone who was genuinely disappointed he was toning his act the fuck down to be able to suckle at CBS's proverbial teat, I'm pretty stoked.

[@DangerousUrNot]

If you were a celebrity and had committed sexual harassment years earlier, would you come out and confess before the victims came forward?

[@DividedStates]

4:48 Savage!

[@philonetic]

People who are actual sexual predators should face criminal charges. Women who are claiming harassment over shoulder rubs and comments in the past who have never said in a firm voice "Stop it, and don't do it again", the ones who have "stayed silent", aren't victims of anything, they're attention seekers. The only thing they're accomplishing is getting less attention to actual victims. Big hug for the victims (don't sue me)! Big middle finger to the rest.

[@garyfarinha7540]

Didn't like Letterman leaving, but Mr Colbert, your crushing it...Rock on....hilarious