Child Psychology : How to Discipline a Screaming Child

A screaming child indicates distress and disorganization. Help your child calm and reorganize with the assistance of a licensed psychologist in this free video.
Expert: Dr. Craig Childress
Contact: www.drcachildress.org
Bio: Dr. Craig Childress is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of ADHD and angry-oppositional relationship disorders of childhood.
Filmmaker: Max Cusimano
Series Description: Raising children can be a confusing project at times. Improve communication with your child and resolve common issues with the assistance of a licensed psychologist in this free video series.

[@TheMusesOrg]

Too many parents let themselves get pushed around by their kids. Rules and discipline (and by discipline I don't mean hitting by the way), are not abuse. Kids need structure and security. If you're letting yourself get pushed around by your toddler you're telling them there is no structure and security, and all you can expect is chaos.

[@ohvarilyn255]

I just left out the store because my 1 year was screaming to the top of her lungs in the middle of the store because she couldn’t get a bear. She has enough already. I sat down and looked this up. I’m exhausted now.

[@rachellgarlick2329]

I feel this my 2/ is demanding & bossy plus I just had a baby so it's worse 😔

[@MomOfBoys-uw1hj]

I'm on a edge of loosing my mind with my screaming 5 year old. He has days where he screams allday once his eyes open in the morning it's a loud scream til he goes to sleep. I feel I'm going insane and have days where I need to just get away..

[@Chloewaterz]

Ms Angie omfg I feel your pain like it makes you so angry.. I have a 3 month old too and my son will randomly scream and wake her. Like he’ll be drinking water and he’ll just randomly scream like why... out of no where

[@anitaraju1495]

Mine is a 4.5 years old boy who get violent with screaming.. 24*7

[@robertdredden5474]

Msangie houtx put on some soothing music like opera or Nora Jones

[@minnesootanice9472]

My 4 year old non verbal Child screams some days from sun up to sun down. She never stops screaming. Feel like I’m literally losing my mind.

[@johnkinsey1210]

I feel you. I got a girl who’s pretty much the same way.

[@Aboish1981nj]

My 3.5 tear old son screams insanely everyday when he doesn't get his way or when my oldest son even touches him to rough house him. It must stop in in distress

[@calmtoddlertempertantrums309]

This is a great video on stopping tantrums.

[@YaddyBub]

Wow...This guy has a really good point. When I have kids, I'll definitely keep this in mind. I want to be the best father I can be someday.

[@pauljosse]

if you get what i have, a kid who screams when its bed time and jumps out of bed and screams at top of lungs banging on the door, we tried all sorts of ideas but he was running circles over us, we rang a help line and they told us just go in put him back in bed, no eye contact, and walk out, and repeat over and over, man this has worked, sometimes the fight goes for 10 mins other times for 40 mins but its great.

[@quotidian5077]

Kids naturally scream as a way to Express themselves. Kids at playgrounds are always screaming out of pure joy. However we must teach them to use words rather than screaming and it can be hard especially if your child doesn't talk well.

[@dkny9954]

You need to follow up on this statement, please update us!

[@britniturner8109]

Your advice has been most helpful out of everything I've ever researched! Every video makes sense. Thank you for sharing these strategies!

[@hemantb.5821]

These classroom theories don't work in real life. My daughter is a good girl in her child care but a different version at home.

[@advancedgmer]

This is so true!

[@dragoonsunite]

When you have location dependent differences in behavior, you are almost always dealing with a fundamentally different form of conditioning in each location... Breaking behavior patterns once they're formed, and building new ones, is always a long, tedious, and difficult process. That's not something parents like to hear, but it's the truth, you really can't "fix" a problem nearly as fast as you can create one, and so, once a behavior is established, you have a long difficult road ahead of molding the behavior back to something normal. Location dependent behavior TENDS to be behavioral though, not abnormal psychology, so the mechanisms in this video should work, but you may need additional guidance on what that means in terms of actual small practical steps. For a lot of the parents on here, it sounds like they're dealing with abnormal psychology, and that would not be benefited by the steps her, as this is too psychoanalytical and cognitive, and for abnormal psychology a straight behavioral approach is the only mechanism I've seen work, which means heavily controlling environment, reward, and punishment.

[@wfan2844]

so damn true

[@plainbobnat]

Always possible your daughter is neurodivergent, masking in other environments and feeling safe to ‘lose it’ at home. Girls especially are good at masking outside the family home.

[@christym6084]

thank you for your video parent in distress need help badly with my 13 year old always in a yelling contest ,, don't want to be a bad parent ,, thanks again

[@theitemsfamily1253]

Such a beautiful warm hearted man loving the guidance so many thanks its all making sense

[@i_freaking_love_cockatiels3698]

I don't have a child, but my friend's little 9 year old brother is ruining his own mother's life. I got on the phone with him saying that he needs to respect his mother or else he's gonna get punished soon. He didn't listen and walked out of the room while I was talking. He would be non stop screaming at his mom and dad. One time my friend's mom and her where talking about a strawberry smoothie they made the other day and wanted to know if they should make it again today. My friend said yeah but her little brother walked in and screamed "NO DON'T YOU KNOW THAT STRAWBERRY'S HAVE LITTLE BUGS IN THEM!?". What he didn't know is that those little "bugs" were seeds. My friend said "You can't believe everything on KZbin [Insert name here]". Their mom and dad are to scared that they would hurt him if they yelled at him. So I wanna help give them advise on how to stop him from yelling at his parents.

[@Chloewaterz]

What do I do if my child is just randomly walking around and will scream out of no where? Like be drinking out of a cup and will just scream.. I don’t get it, why !?

[@MrJoseph2046]

Just a great video series: Joseph. Child Psychotherapist and Behavioural Therapist (ABA) UK living in Mauritius

[@wolfm8097]

My 2 year old likes to act out the Disney movie moments when something exciting happens, or they’re cheering (he expresses it with a high-pitched scream like Robert Plant) it’s very powerful . He’s smiling and happy, he does it as a squeal from seeing other kids and tv. It’s piercing...now that we’re established with that. Any suggestions how to address the matter to him and teach him another form of expression more appropriate ?

[@thejewel0123]

Try saying "you seem so excited, that's great. And, that loud noise hurts me ears!" This will validate the child's experience and you will tell them how you FEEL without telling the, what to DO which encourages empathy and problem solving. If it keeps going you can try, "I want to be excited with you, but it's too loud I need to be in a quieter space" Model being excited with your body using American Sign Language, jumping, smiling, throwing balls etc. Encourage your child to SHOW their excitement instead of yell it, and don't forget to get super pumped when they chose to show it, give them a high-five and validate their action not with a simple "good job" but explain "you jumped to show me you are excited, now we get to be excited together and I'm having so much fun with you!" Hope this helps :)

[@Bebchie0824]

This Dr. Helps me understand my son's behavior. I thought being a parent needs to establish authority and being hard on their mistakes will make them grow as a good person but turns out wrong. Until I searched and found this now I will follow he's advice. Thanks

[@pw1669]

Love this!

[@asmazaini2155]

Neither distress nor drama. What to do if they scream because they always excited and soo happy, like everything can make them excited and everyday is a screaming partaayyy

[@zoherhusain]

Thanks

[@Ctworld15]

The way you open this probably makes a lot of parents think they have a kid with ADHD because they scream

[@jane1998_]

I am close to depression i get sick bcos of my son who is really energetic and shouting even our kittens he shouts to it when he never get what he wants . I just cry and try to stop myself to shout on him

[@BbashE]

My child can sit calmly and suddenly screams for no reason what so ever. Is this the same? He is not in distress but screaming is his thing.

[@WA-hornet007]

Doc if you could list out concrete steps as opposed to vague talk that would def help parents

[@saeeduchiha5537]

You spoke my mind

[@shelbelee]

Step one: determine if it is drama or distress (use his criteria of defining which is which) Step two: if it is drama, you need to speak with calm and confident authority to establish the safety and what is appropriate within the relationship If it is distress, you need to respond with a supportive intervention that aids the child regaining organization. Re establish the relationship by seeking to understand the child’s concern. Use calm soothing language and touch- do not ruminate on the issue that got them there but rather on the intervention to regain their composure that they had before the screaming When it comes to drama I recommend you look into behavioral psychology and learn the different forms of operant conditioning - Positive/ negative reinforcement & positive/ negative punishment. Those are often misunderstood by parents and truly clear up how to deal with dramatic screaming. Also looking into the extinction curve (apart of behavioral psychology ) teaches you how behaviors go extinct- like the ones you don’t want your child to do. However do know it gets worse before it gets better because if your kids have been dramatic screaming then they will have to adjust to you no longer responding to that behavior. A lot of kids turn up the dial since it has worked in the past. You have to teach them it no longer works at all. Hopes this helps

[@WA-hornet007]

@@shelbelee Indeed very insightful exactly what I was looking for , Thank You.

[@agallagher5936]

Should make it more plain for people. What is drama, what is disorganised etc. Didn't learn much from this

[@Eccentricjewelry]

And thats really hard to do without getting angry with a bad ass child....sometimes that works sometimes it dont

[@Eccentricjewelry]

Im on egde with my 19 month old shes screams for 30 min at a time if she doesnt get what she wants and its makes me super irritated she doesnt get whoppings so idk what to do shes waits until we in public around people to really test my patience

[@cassaundra8462]

This makes it hard because you don’t want to spend all day in a screaming match and once they calm down you try to use these tips they will go right back into the same screaming kicking throwing act

[@succulent3300]

How do you keep a two year old from crying? He's almost 2 and screams really loudly when he doesn't get what he wants. There are many days when he is almost screaming the whole time.

[@edgarlantz9001]

Hardest part of being a parent is discipline

[@ErgoProdigy]

2020, talk it out and fix nothing. 2000, I get slapped in the mouth and sent outside where I stopped screaming. Yeah, this whole process is going great.

[@Bostonite1985]

I am from India. When I was in my mid teen, I went to visit my aunt who lives in the countryside. I saw a two year old screaming her off for no apparent reason. Her mum, took her to a neighboring farmer's barn (they call it cowshed in India) and put her next to a calf (baby cow). The kid's face brightened up and started petting the calf. Soon both ran around playing together. Kids seem to be attracted to baby animals and prefer their company rather than grown ups. City folks, in sharp contrast, tend to give McDonald toys or barbie dolls to pacify the kids. In my opinion, that is the wrong approach as kids soon get bored with those toys. There should be places in cities where kids can go to have a good time with small animals. Unfortunately, densely populated big cities do not offer such opportunities. The only other alternative is for young couples to move closer to the countryside. Just sharing my views.

[@Khadinah]

My child screams for no reason, he stays awake all the way to 2 in the morning and I can't do anything to get him to sleep. When he sleeps he never sleeps for long. He never takes a nap in the day. He just screams every few minutes for a year now. We had him tested for ADHD and we have been told that he hasn't got ADHD. All this has put my tenancy at risk as we've had a few warnings form the landlord about the screaming at night. I have other kids and they do not deserve to be homeless because of this issue. Me and my husband have considered putting him up for adoption. It's just too much we all need to sleep.

[@pratyushsharma2922]

Lol my landlords kid keeps screaming, I couldn't sleep, study and he screams all day and almost all night. After getting extreme headache I told the landlord, now he is kicking me out. The landlord is Indian from Gujarat.

[@MariaGarcia-ht4og]

Explain that to the administrators at the Early Childhood center I work at!!! I use Conscious Discipline and I was told I was too passive.

[@Baneslayer]

You probably ARE too passive... omg... u acting like this idiot is the messiah.

[@leoantonio]

Right, but...what if I just want it to stop?

[@lfiof]

I would like to know; what do you mean by drama or disorganization? Thank You for posting these videos.

[@djmo00]

I was thinking the same thing. My intuitive understanding was that drama is when kids act out as an unconscious or conscious strategy because it has worked in the past to get them attention or whatever else they wanted. My understanding of disorganization would be when a kid has emotions they don't know how to handle.

[@odettepross2435]

disorganisation is another way of blaming the parents

[@sheilamontgomery3597]

All parents do is let it scream for the most part bc they think the world revolves around their spawn and are hypocritical bc most parents get mad at people who are tired of hearing them. The prevailing attitude is that people have to tolerate it. I'm glad people are starting to wise up

[@ives_13]

I dont know what kind of parents you've been around but most parts are embarrassed and want their children to stop the dramatic screaming too and that isnt something new. However, it doesnt make matters better for other ppl to be upset about another persons child screaming. Honestly im the type to tell you " if it bothers you so much, why dont you come take a crack at it"

[@nathalyibanez4336]

My 2 1/2 year old started screaming in peoples faces when she’s upset (not mine), also at night, she screams and cries and wants me to hold her and “burp” her ( I have a 3 month old baby too). If I stop patting her back because I’m tired or dozing off (we cosleep), she gets angry and yells and SCREAMSS!! Ignoring doesn’t work! She can scream her head off for hours! I don’t know what to do! Firm and calm, coregulating, time-out etc doesn’t work! There’s no reason for her to start screaming…

[@Khadinah]

I can relate. My toddler continuously screams for no reason and there is absolutely no way to stop him, never takes a nap in the day, he never sits still for 5 minutes. We had him tested for ADHD which he hasn't got. He just screams every few minutes. My tenancy is at risk because of this. My landlord has given me warnings because of the noise. Me and my husband have started looking for another property as we fear us and the kids will be homeless soon. I feel like crying because my other kids need to sleep, we all do but they just don't deserve to be homeless either.

[@copypaste3526]

A girl in my neighbourhood is shrieking once a minute when it plays outside with others. I don't think it's tourettes. The shrieks are extremely loud and I don't know it's parents or the child. What should I do?

[@theeartofseduction]

This guy is awesome!

[@ahzibania]

I used to scream like hell no matter what, during play and fun time, sad time and whenever i wanted anything and it was working cause my mum would rather to give into my demands rather than baring the extreme loud screams, it went a while like that till my mum had enough and handed my leash to my dad, that changed quickly lol he never beat me to make me stop crying though but whenever we were out he purposefully walk pass toy stores (he told me later in life) and refused to get me the toy i wanted so i would start crying and screaming from top of my lungs, i remember him putting me down from his shoulders or arms and then light up a cigarette while i tired myself out from all the screams till i could barely breath or had a voice left to scream, i think 3 or 4 toy shops later i finally gave up. Even during play time whenever i would start screaming for no reason he would end the game and fun time. but here is the thing i would still be doing the same with my mum but not my dad. my mum in my eyes was my servant and her job was to do what i ordered and wanted but with my dad it was different i knew i had to behave and respect him whenever he was around.

[@thekeeper8]

Omg, your poor mom lol I hope you give her so much love and hugs now because 😩

[@soomro2002]

😂😂😂 that was funny plus good story mate 👍

[@ahzibania]

@@soomro2002 thanks, it's also true :)

[@juliecheskin4277]

I need help so bad. My daughter wakes up from sleeping and wakes up screaming and crying. What am I doing wrong. Three hours of sleep and wakes up crying and screaming

[@unkindguy88]

brah you talking about CESAR MILLAN style of discipline hahaha

[@doogie05]

I feel sorry for you guys who say you have constant shouting and screaming . My 8 year old can shout for maybe fifteen minutes or half hour or so maybe once or twice a day . I can’t imagine how bad it would be to deal with for longer I find it difficult with just that .

[@strawberryme08]

People give a lot of advice but what if the kid does to respond to any words you use no matter what they are? :/ my kid screams louder. To block anything you may be saying so she doesn’t have to hear it etc. she won’t use her words and even when she gets what she wants she still fusses and moans ugh

[@cassaundra8462]

What if you try all these things and it’s simply over them just not wanting to do the task they were asked

[@sarabertschinger6853]

Im a daycare worker (6 years with a diploma in child development) and have a 3.5yo who just got a new sister and she constantly screams and goes against the flow in any situation. Its time to eat, she doesnt like the spot she chose to sit. A kid is playing with a toy, she wants that toy. I braid her hair like she asked, she changes her mind and gets jealous when others get their hair braided. All this along with screaming and violent pushing of the other children, some who are only babys a couple months old and others who are 4-5 years old. I am at my witts end, she wants all the attention and i simply cant give it to her. And If i do it somehow backfires. I try to give her as much choice as possible while giving her the structures and rituals she needs but she seems to find a catch 22 in everything. Any advice?

[@lilikoijuci]

Did things get better?

[@kreigthepsycho6744]

if there is a screaming child get La chancla. That will show them Who is boss.

[@ghostlylover99123]

Some people would say "beat the child black and blue" but me, am like nah, just throw them into a time out room

[@mikaylalewis1526]

My three year old screams when she not get her way I’ve tried everything you’ve said she just screams over me and throws her tantrums nothing works! Not even timeout she will screen her lungs out even pee on her self nothing works and I’m so stressed I can’t even go in public with her cause she’ll act out and make a huge scene and everyone will stare at me I hate it! I’ve tried everything no more screen time anything you can think of nothing helps I’m so tired

[@indigoblue4me]

I would love to see this guy stop bad behaviour when a parent is in public with a screaming child. It's one thing to say these things, but show them in practice to really educate parents is quite another.

[@breezybre2670]

Try to change your mindset from " I have to stop this behaviour"...to " I have to support my child and let them known that I am here." Eventually a child will reach a point of futility where they stop screaming because they realize it is pointless. It is not triggering mom into a frenzy and it is not getting them that toy they want etc.

[@breezybre2670]

Check out Gordon Neufeld making sense of Preschoolers.

[@reneaobispo2013]

I have a 5 year old girl .she always cry she don't talk .she cries a lot.i always try to stop her but I can't stop her..it really stress for me to handle her.shes in kindergarten special head .she cries at school and in the bus school.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@andreacrist1997]

what about a 2 year old in may that screams for fun on and off all day and then for 2-3 hours at night! help I am going nuts

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Screaming is not acceptable or necessary. Please check out this answer. Gives you step by step instructions on how to train your child to stop that behavior. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXawlIewga10pJo

[@killmeasappls]

i do believe drama is when u know the kid is faking it to get something and this happens sometimes, but disorganisation, the kid is obviously in distress and this kid doesnt know how to express it but scream, which would occur often and parents get confused why.

[@yarahelh.202]

Thank you for that clarification cause I was a bit confused here and was about to ask the difference.

[@anitaraju1495]

But how do we get them to be calm?????

[@jonthancrisp5713]

One way is to hold your child in your arms like in a bear hug. Put his head on your shoulder and let him cry out the rest of his feelings. Normally a angry child is a emotion that hadn't been met

[@twitchkitty1]

My step son screams his head off and its a high pitch scream. Out of no where. His behavior is not okay spoiled and just makes me want to pull my hair out.

[@rachellgarlick2329]

Mine too makes me have flight or fight feelings, like screaming back or just walking out the door

[@twitchkitty1]

@@rachellgarlick2329 yep. And having him lay in his bed screaming is hard. Much love and hopefully you get at least one might of silent rest.

[@rachellgarlick2329]

@@twitchkitty1 I'm seriously thinking about drinking some coffee and staying up just so I can be awake without hearing it. I just had another baby so not only is she already demanding & bossy drama she acts like a baby sometimes again

[@twitchkitty1]

@@rachellgarlick2329 oh no im sorry. Ive never had that problem so I can't relate. But *Hugs*

[@heythere4424]

My sister is so bad she screams if she doesn’t get the phone then says no one loves her I don’t know what to do my parents just split can someone give me advice

[@Yasiln]

HEY THERE! Do things with her that will keep her from thinking of using the phone

[@ironF5]

idk ... if anyone has seen the movie vivarium.....

[@Dragonboy60]

I tjink its too much work im just gonna punch it to the wall that usually makes them quiet

[@sansmaeda]

can you tell my why my baby brother is screaming he is 8 months old

[@jennyquezada9644]

xxfireundertheice That’s how little ones communicate when the need something because they don’t know the words yet.

[@jesusmysalvation1643]

My baby just screaming and he is 10moth and i need to know how can I solve this problem

[@monicafiore20]

Dalia Haddad Has it gotten any better? It must be stressful. Do you still need advice?

[@_amoopoint_1458]

Thats a hard one being that he is 10 months old. Developmentally, he is most likely finding his voice. I would suggest distraction. Because it plays so with that age group. Smooth and calming tones from you will help to associate 'indoor' and 'outdoor' voices. Indoor we are nice and quiet, outdoor is where we can be louder and boisterous. That said, he is only a little bub still. So again, distracting him with toys, birds, colours, etc is your best bet. 😊

[@becky7637]

Because You once gave child what he/she wanted when he screamed and it worked for the child. U are creating a monster, I know someone with a three year old who does this! It hurts my ears! And she doesn’t even do anything about it it’s disgusting, I swear if my kid ever screamed at me she would be in time out and toys taken away

[@becky7637]

B 88 give the kid a toy if they scream at u! Wtf lol 😂

[@STR8TRIPPNLM]

My sister has a 5 year old girl and she screams when she doesn't get her way she is very strong willed Time outs don't work I have to bear hug her to stay still she is constantly on the phone or tablet and if she loses a game she will throw it or if it dies it she throws it she constantly jumps on me or my mom and won't stop and she peed on my bed because she is supposed to sleep and is very mean her 16 yr old half brother has autism and her paternal grandmother was in mensa is she highly intelligent strong willed or maybe mental disorder

[@breezybre2670]

The first step would be to remove electronics devices. She does not need those. Provide open ended toys so she can Express herself through play. Blocks , animals, people, a doll, stuffies etc.

[@breezybre2670]

Also I would not bear hug a child to keep them in time out. That just makes them fightback. Watch some videos from Alfie Kohn. He explains why time outs are not useful.

[@XJOShTM]

All these people need the Asian belt slap system

[@dr.martiwolfe7824]

I’m surprised that none of these folks mentioned “hydrotherapy” - put the screaming kid in the bathtub. Usually they stop right away - if not, turn on the cold water. I have five kids and this always worked.

[@1414141x]

How long do you immerse them for ?

[@akee129]

No. Do not do this. Ever. Its torture.

[@breezybre2670]

That's called child abuse.

[@Baneslayer]

That is torture and cruel.

[@alexanderhayden96]

shit I wish my dad was him but nope... I was thrown across the house and beat to numb when I got an attitude.... life sucks for him no lol

[@AutodidactEngineer]

Yeet them Slapping is also another very effective option😉

[@williamheywood9115]

Give him or her a a damn good hiding.

[@thorodin6686]

He lost me the minute he said he was from California