Managing Child Meltdowns & Tantrums - Tips From A Board Certified Behavior Analyst

[@monic.9988]

Out of all the vids that i have seen about this subject - this is hands down the best one , thank you

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@ruthcardona8734]

Love this, I have been working with children with autism for over 18 years in classrooms and watching videos as this I am always learning, we never ever stop learning, thank you!!🥰

[@theautismhelper]

So true! Thanks for watching!

[@lidiavivar7643]

@@theautismhelper where did you get those visuals . I am an RBT and i need those visual for frustration tolerance . thank you and I love your channel . So helpful !

[@ikn0waplace]

I’m very new to working with preschoolers in a classroom setting, and as an autistic person, it gets overwhelming when a child goes into meltdown mode. Mostly because I understand how they are feeling, but they aren’t old enough to know how to handle their big emotions. I have a child who’s been having very out of character meltdowns lately and I’m learning how to help him better :)

[@theautismhelper]

Yes it is tricky with the little ones!

[@Smileysweetiepie]

How?

[@BBjollibean]

Hi there! So happy you’ve been progressing and interesting in learning new strategies! I’m in a similar boat! Also starting out working with pre-k as a neurodivergent person. It’s not always easy & sometimes I can get overwhelmed with the intense emotions too. Hope things have been going well for you! We got this 🤍

[@Mercy.Beloved]

Thanks for this! I just started working in special education as an IA. I have ADHD and Autism myself and still working on calming down and patience.

[@theautismhelper]

Hope this was helpful for you! Thanks for watching!

[@ellioth9556]

I work as a TA in a special ed school. My students are 9-12 and gosh it's so validating to know i am utilizing most of these tips. My students deserve the best and i want to grow and learn new ways to help them in these tough times.

[@theautismhelper]

Love to hear it! Thank you so much for sharing!

[@paigejustneedstocope]

I worked as a TA, but had no education past high school. All these steps I figured out myself and have implemented them in how I behave now years later. I’m glad to see this video, it means I’ve learned correctly! When a child comes to me to tell me about another kid bothering him/her, instead of going to the other child in accusation or confrontation, I will go to them with friendly gentle energy and say something like “Hi! Were you and Johnny playing together?” Or “Did something happen?” And I’ll make sure to hear both kids out before I start addressing the situation or saying “He said this happened, is that what happened?” I’m not always sure I’m doing everything right, but I noticed that a lot of kids prefer to come to me for help over anyone else.

[@theautismhelper]

Your students are lucky to have you!

[@NYCWendy1]

I’m going to make a visual choice board today thank you so much for this video!!!

[@theautismhelper]

Hope this was helpful! Thanks for watching!

[@gracemahoney8694]

As someone who is a few months away from graduating with my masters in ABA I can agree theseare all perfect strategies to use and are applicable for almost everyone I love how she said take a minute to calm yourself down before you go over to give help prompt or wait, she’s right people tend to accidentally escalate the situation with their reactions!

[@theautismhelper]

So true! Thanks for watching!

[@sophiaxo569]

I definitely agree, i have inadvertently reinforced an inappropriate behaviour with my client of 2 years before! In that period of time I remember feeling overwhelmed often and i now make sure to take a breather before responding to meltdowns/tantrums.

[@MrsMysteryWoman]

I did that exact same thing today! But once I stopped and took some deep breaths, the whole vibe was different and things took a turn for the better.

[@josephg3666]

Wow, you almost graduated. Your opinion is so valuable. Thank you for sharing it.

[@jen10272001]

Great video! I volunteer daily in the cafeteria and kids get so out of control. We have a lot of teachers who try to force them to calm down quickly by just yelling at them. Many kids are upset while trying to dispose of their uneaten food and racing their friends trying to go out to recess. I try to just slow down my movements and voice and remind them I'm here to help them sort their recycling so they can go play. It's stressful though and at the end of the lunch period the cafeteria looks like a crime scene most days.

[@theautismhelper]

Yes! Modeling is such a great strategy!

[@AndreaDoty]

I love your advice on handling a meltdown! Especially with safety and reaction and how to respond and how we should be modeling behavior. This is their way of communicating. Love your video!

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@alexandriabeatrix117]

This was such a great video! Some of these methods I already use in my classroom, such as offering choices, and speaking calmly, but it feels so great to be affirmed thag those are good ways to help students out. I really liked the examples of choice boards you showed us, and I think that they would be really helpful in our classroom. Thank you so much for this!

[@theautismhelper]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!

[@Sternschnuppen85]

Thank you so much for these tips!!!

[@theautismhelper]

You are so welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@Preppy.Peeeeeeeeeep]

I suspect that I am on the spectrum somewhere, I am definitely not neurotypical. I have been to many counselors and therapists who have done nothing but tell my mom that I am just overstimulated constantly. I had my first psychiatrist visit today, and my mom was in the room explaining what happens when I have a meltdown (which are still quite frequent, but I’m getting better) and she said that in the moments leading up to one I do a repetitive movement- like I’ll stand behind a char and rock it, or I’ll stomp and slide my foot, or move the coffee table, just anything somewhere along those things, and apparently it’s my body’s way of recognizing something and then trying to regulate itself. And then if I’m not calmed down, I’ll get super angry, and then my mom says my face will just go kinda blank, like no remorse, just tears and blank. The psychiatrist said that sometimes when someone gets really angry they’ll actually have some form of a seizure. But the thing is, I completely forget all of it. I’ll forget the regulating, I’ll forget the meltdown, I’ll forget all of it. We have a follow up soon, and I really hope that we can just slap a label on me because I just want to title something, because we haven’t been able to name it for my entire life. I’m sorry for just kinda dumping a bunch of info, but if anyone else has any idea about this please just say anything!!

[@lakrishiw]

I really hope they are able to help you. I see you want help. That’s good you know your behaviors.

[@BBjollibean]

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with this. I just want to say your story is validating to me because this is literally what it’s like for me as well. I have not been able to pinpoint it and have also met with mental health specialists for 10 years now. Not one has figured out why I react in such an extreme fashion when I am overstimulated/overwhelmed with emotions. We always called it panic attacks due to generalized anxiety & depression, but it’s different when I’m also slapping myself, rocking back and forth, and basically blacking out not remembering anything. I even went to a psych unit when it got really bad and a room full of psychologists and psychiatrists also said I have intense anxiety & a difficult time coping. Idk, I’m venting now too, but I am with you whole heartedly and even if we don’t have a label, we can remember that we’re doing our best to heal ourselves with what we know now. Take care 🤍

[@whambameviecam]

I am Autistic and I do remember meltdowns so I'm not sure if this advice will help you. I choose, practice, and act out coping strategies when I'm feeling calm and rational. That way, it's like a practiced thing I can do without thinking to calm down. I do deep breaths, counting, and pacing in a calm room alone. If I can, I go for a walk, but that can be iffy if I'm already too far gone, I've been known to go into the woods and get cut up from thorns and such. Good luck!

[@danielpeal8352]

Hi, I'm an autistic adult and I have occasional melt downs. If someone approached me during and tried to interact with me in any way that would make calming down extremely difficult. I also want to point out that during a meltdown, brains cannot process communication at all. Because a melt down means the brain is comoletely overloaded with sensory stimulation and regulating itself by letting the pain out in that way when the space needed to regulate want was not offered beforehand. No amount of calm approaches or option flash cards will change that the brain cannot understand communication while in complete overload. I understand the first step. Safety and space. But the rest are really just adding stimulation (however calm you think you're being) to an extremely overstimulated brain that has reached peak painful levels of overstimulation. Imagine you're having a mental break down as a neurotypical person. This is how painful melt downs feel. You are in intense mental pain and cannot process anything until it is given time to subside on its own. Many autistic people report not being able to even remember the melt down. That's how traumatic and painful it is for them. Their brains have to block it out in attempts to protect them. I know this is hard to understand because melt downs are so common in ABA therapy. I need you to know that each meltdown is just as painful if not more painful and traumatizing than a neurotypical person having a complete mental break down. But imagine having to do therapy for hours at a time as an adult. Mental health therapy or physical therapy. You would be exhausted beyond belief. I certainly could not do hours of therapy as an autistic adult. This is why autistic children need autistic adults on their care team. You mean well but are causing more pain to an already intensely painful and traumatic situation. Trauma occurs when the brain cannot cope with what is happening or process it in any safe way. Imagine how painful it would be to have what is basically a complete mental break down and have a well meaning therapist come approach you with flash card options while you're still in peak intense pain and not given the space and time for the body to return to a regulatable state. A melt down is the last defense method the brain has to attempt to regulate itself. At that point, unless there's imminent damger. Please. For the love of God. Please just give that child space (don't abandon just give space) and time to allow the melt down to subside on its own. Choice options are also notoriously overwhelming for autistic children and adults. Offering choices in a time if complete break down does not help and actually makes the melt down last longer as the process the brain is going through to release that pain and regulate itself is INTERUPTED. Thank you for reading.

[@theautismhelper]

Thank you for sharing your important feedback!

[@yosrarebhi4711]

amazing video, such a positive vibes

[@theautismhelper]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!

[@haleynicole1691]

Your video deserves wayyy more likes ! Definitely going to make more visual cards and pictures!

[@theautismhelper]

Glad to hear this was helpful! Thanks for watching :)

[@amandajesseleigh]

What about when the choices then trigger an already escalated situation... choices are thrown away in anger and they just dont hear anything? 4yr old boy mom here🙋🏼‍♀️

[@theautismhelper]

Try to catch before the situation escalates and offer choices before. Once the situation is escalated, consider giving space/time before coming in with support and/or choices!

[@Carlyceltic2024]

My little boy has it hasn’t been confirmed yet, I knew from when he was around 10 months he’s now 2 and half. He’s getting the help now at the nursery hopefully not long before it’s confirmed. Then I can look at steps forward for both me and him x

[@lorim4863]

These are great strategies! Several years ago, I read about a girl who had meltdowns and the doctor realized she had PANDAS/PANS. (Dr. Kenneth Bock's book Healing the New Childhood Epidemics) Things that help our son are the GAPS diet, medicine, supplements like high dose sodium ascorbate, feverfew capsules, etc. Also, recently we've begun homeopathy for PANDAS/PANS and have seen improvement. Their immune system can attack their brain causing migraines and meltdowns and yes, not adding to the stress helps. Also, a lot of people praying for him helps!

[@screamingminnow920]

RE choices - be mindful of executive function with that. Speaking from my meltdown experience. Go slow and maybe let them hold a stuffie. I love the visuals - this 23 year old will be making some of those

[@screamingminnow920]

OP likely knows this, mainly mentioning for others

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for sharing!

[@mathanimathani454]

Thank you so much

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@WeloveTrump2024]

Thank you so much for this 😢😢😢❤

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@adeeniolorunda58]

You are amazing. Period. ❤

[@theautismhelper]

Thank you so much for your kind words! Made my day! ❤️

[@adeeniolorunda58]

@theautismhelper I'm a mom. So this is what I needed for sure.

[@victoriaLL345]

Awesome tips

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@blueblousedesigns]

Keep several play mats or a large gymnastics mat in the classroom

[@theautismhelper]

Great suggestion! Thanks for watching!

[@malikrah1]

Thanks you.

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@v.a8530]

my 2 and a half years old he is picking my skin so much and scratching me extremly i m lost i dont know if he ever live this he has the signs of autism still not diagnosed we waiting doctor to call us when he can take us its soo hard i lost my joy im all the time in stress he yelling all the time im so lost is he going to live those behaviour theh all come from inside is not something that he saw them somewhere he is extrymly nervous and agresive he doesnt sleep i love him so much i see he is strugling and me too i wish i can find a cure

[@theautismhelper]

I would check in with an Occupational Therapist!

[@miinkmiink5209]

Keep them coming

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@MyBodyIsMyTemple]

Hello, where can I find the learning and problem-solving steps that would come after the steps in this video?

[@theautismhelper]

That is a part of Executive Functions Toolkit! shop.theautismhelper.com/products/toolkit-executive-functions

[@madisen7499]

Do you have a link to your visual choice boards? I love them!

[@theautismhelper]

Yes! We have a few options. You can find them in our store 🤗! shop.theautismhelper.com/products/real-photo-token-board shop.theautismhelper.com/products/positive-reinforcement-visual-system-for-children-with-autism-or-special-needs There are also a TON of visuals like this in our Executive Functions Toolkit: shop.theautismhelper.com/products/toolkit-executive-functions

[@YM-mt8eo]

​@@theautismhelper Could you add the link to the "Calm strategies choice board" and "I can help myself..." that you show in the video. I couldn't find them in the store. Thank you!

[@MagsChase1229]

How about when you have a child that has 6 meltdowns a day in school? He is so loud that the other 16 children in gen ed stop and watch what he is doing. He is a 2nd grade sped student. I’m a parapro (ta) without a sped teacher. The one hired did not show up for teacher orientation in summer. So the school admin could not find another qualified candidate, so we have a sub in class who has early childhood degree. Another qualified sped staff member is helping with plans. We see this person once a week if that. The situation is not good especially for the other sped students when we are in the sped room. He’ll scream, scream when we are taking spelling tests. He is happy when he gets to play with/ legos. If we stop then he has a fit. He also likes recess, P.E. too. But no writing or independent work. He certainly is not doing even a 1/2 of required work.

[@theautismhelper]

Ugh so sorry to hear! Hopefully you get more support soon. Sounds like you need a thorough FBA to figure out what is going on with the child and what missing skills he needs support in.

[@mysticat7652]

Can't work through this when you're the only adult & you've got 24 other general education students in the room you are also responsible for. 😢

[@theautismhelper]

You do the best you can!

[@lovelyone9994]

Yes you can. That's what sending them to quiet corner is for. For them to calm down to give you time to think. Then you get the rest of the class doing an activity and then you go talk to the student.

[@AS-zt1gg]

Where can I purchase those calming choices ?

[@theautismhelper]

They're included in this resource! shop.theautismhelper.com/products/toolkit-executive-functions

[@ieyeshiabates3556]

Thank youuuu😊

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@lakrishiw]

Where can I find the calm down choice board?

[@theautismhelper]

Here you go! shop.theautismhelper.com/pages/calm-down-choice-boards?_pos=1&_psq=calm+down&_ss=e&_v=1.0

[@dymiz100]

Wow Ty I’m a adhd late mom of a level one autistic 22 month old girl

[@theautismhelper]

Hope this was helpful! Thanks for watching!

[@brittneysmashjackson7293]

I work k-2. I have bug behaviors but the one thats really been difficult, a kinder that doesnt want anything. He kicks and screams and now is hitting others. He doesnt want to work. He doesnt want to do ipad. He just throws tantrums all day long over every little thing. I cannot figure out his function for his behavior. He doesn't really want anything.

[@theautismhelper]

Hi there! Check out our Practical Behavior Approach Course! shop.theautismhelper.com/pages/practical-behavior-approach-course

[@daughterofsekhmet81]

Any advice on how to calm escalating tantrums in a 5yo autistic boy? He's very smart and usually very sweet and happy but every morning is a nightmare- screaming, crying, kicking, and throwing himself to the floor because he doesn't want to go to school. The tantrums are mainly about school, but he sometimes has them if we need to go to the doctor or the store. Those are much less severe, it's just the school ones that are becoming unmanageable. We've talked about why he doesn't like going anywhere and all he ever says is "I just like staying home". He just wants to stay home and play with his toys 24/7. I've tried empathizing, ignoring, being firm, offering rewards if he cooperates, I let him take his favorite toy to school, but nothing works. They are definitely tantrums too and not true meltdowns cause I see him switch tactics throughout. When saying he doesn't want to go doesn't work, he says he doesn't like his teachers(he actually does like them, and this one really worries me because I don't want him thinking he can lie or make up stories to get what he wants). When that doesn't work, he starts crying with exaggerated "Waaaah!" sounds like he's imitating a baby, while watching me to gauge my reaction. Then comes "but I'm sick!" followed by fake coughing. If none of it works, it's kicking and throwing himself and trying to run away. This morning was the worst yet, he normally cries and complains but walks into the school willingly, but this morning I had to walk him in and physically restrain him so he wouldn't bang his head or run away. He has an IEP and very good caring teachers, every day when I pick him up he's in a good mood and tells me he had fun that day, but this behavior is getting progressively worse. I am autistic myself and at my wit's end. I'm genuinely worried for when he gets bigger and stronger than me and I can't control him anymore.

[@theautismhelper]

Did you rule out medical concerns? Can the school behavior consultant or teachers give you some suggestions? Hang in there! Your son is lucky to have such a dedicated parent!

[@barbarabailey5178]

I recently read an article by a child psychologist on this topic. His advice was to tell the child that "the doctor" said he/she is behaving this way because he/she isn't getting enough sleep. Therefore, he/she has to go to bed after supper - no playing, TV, etc. No matter how much he/she complains, etc., the child has to stay in bed in his/her room. If he/she wants to stay up after supper, he/she accepts going to school. I will also mention that in a classroom I have substituted in, a mother made a reward chart that hangs on the classroom door. When she drops her son off, if he is good about staying he gets a marker for that day and at the end of the week, there is some reward for good behavior. Hope one of those help.

[@daughterofsekhmet81]

@@theautismhelper Sorry for the late reply but I might have figured it out! So one of his main sensory issues is wearing anything on his lower legs- pants, socks, boots, etc. He absolutely HATES it. We live in Wisconsin too so he's been having to wear pants all winter obviously and he would immediately pull the pant legs up to his knees then put up another huge fight when I tried to put his socks & boots on. After the last big meltdown a couple weeks ago it hit me- maybe he doesn't actually hate school, but he equates school with pants and socks. The meltdowns also started in late fall, when it started getting cold. All the pieces fit, so I tested my theory by letting him wear his shorts and crocs to school. Since then there hasn't been a single morning meltdown. The weather is getting nice enough and on colder mornings I just wrap him in a blanket on the way to the car. The school lets him stay in the sped room for recess, so it works out fine. I still kind of can't believe it was that simple and I'm not calling it 100% solved yet, but the difference has been night & day. Hopefully next winter the pants will be better received, but for now I'm just going to enjoy my once again happy little guy. Thanks!!

[@MrsLady-ip3tg]

@@barbarabailey5178I agree with this statement.

[@kristy.fountain]

Sending you a big big hug, mama. I feel you. It's a LOT. Unmanageable is a word I use a lot, too. I recommend the PDA UK site for info about demand avoidance. It's amazing. That's all I got, but just sending you love and solidarity.

[@dymiz100]

Wow ty

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@chelseavanscyoc6539]

What are the printouts under? I was looking in the linked items, but for some reason, I’m having a hard time finding them.

[@theautismhelper]

Here you go! shop.theautismhelper.com/products/visual-social-story-packet-for-children-with-autism-behavior-set-1? shop.theautismhelper.com/products/toolkit-executive-functions? shop.theautismhelper.com/products/positive-reinforcement-visual-system-for-children-with-autism-or-special-needs? shop.theautismhelper.com/products/real-photo-token-board?

[@joyful5681]

Trying to find ideas for a toddler

[@theautismhelper]

Then you're in the right place! Check out my free, mini course: 10 Quick Wins for Positive Behavior Change kzbin.info/aero/PLaNcwbUxolMh6AuTlrjGNiipasDgmPmYZ

[@tikab7051]

Where can I find those print outs

[@theautismhelper]

All of the resources from this video are linked in the description! Thanks for watching!

[@meghandandrea4790]

What about a student who is triggered by the word “write”

[@theautismhelper]

Do an FBA to figure out what is going on!

[@meghandandrea4790]

@@theautismhelper he already has a BIP

[@adriannenagy7433]

What about alternatives like draw or paint or use alphabet stamps and they are matching the stamps to an example you give. Or let's do this together with hand over hand assistance.

[@cleovintora59]

My client had a tamtrum for 1 whole hr he was crying, o gave him space simce he tries ro attack me i tried choices...when his dad camw in the room and he saw us talking he started luaghing. His dad and i conclided it was escape

[@shyphuong80]

❤❤❤

[@theautismhelper]

Thanks for watching!

[@mimilalasinglemomlr6787]

Y Asd kids meltdown?

[@jennyquezada9644]

Because they feel overstimulated…

[@dealingwithfeeling763]

Hi, I would like to collaborate with your channel. Dealing with Feeling helps people cope with feelings. We aim to help children cope with feelings early on so they do not struggle with emotions later on but know them as drivers on their path.

[@theautismhelper]

Hi there! That sounds like a great program! At this time we are not doing any promotions or collaborations. Good luck with your endeavours!

[@dealingwithfeeling763]

@@theautismhelper Thank you.