The Curse Of The Gifted (w/Dr. Blair Duddy) | The Challenges Of High IQ Children

[@DrAhmadNabeel]

This interview made me feel emotional. I am a 35-year-old MD currently doing my PhD. I had been in a gifted program for my entire childhood. I had always studied last minute, initially struggled in university because of that, was very stubborn with my parents, bored all the time, and extremely inquisitive. I won more awards than I can count in different areas: math, health, innovation, tech, programming, graphic designing, filmmaking, writing, etc. I know from my program that I had an IQ of +145. However, this was and still is associated with continuous anxiety and a strong feeling of isolation. I always felt like finding someone who truly understood what I was going through was extremely difficult. Most of my classmates from the gifted program did not do well in university. One of them overdosed and passed away at 24. If I say these things to most people I know, they won't relate or even get it. On the contrary, they might perceive it as bragging. I wish more people knew about those issues. But I guess nobody likes it when anyone says: I'm smart. Even when it is said in a negative context.

[@myfirstnamemylastname2994]

This level of intelligence is not neurotypical, as the video authors explain. There are more social handicaps than practical advantages, and it is forbidden to even mention that aspect, or discuss what it is like to have an IQ like that. I can vouch. In grade school was told I used "big words" too much, "sound like a book", I was "weird", I "thought too much", I asked "too many questions", I wondered about things ("Why and HOW does old people's hair turn grey?") that "nobody cares about!" I was told that all that rapid thinking and wide-ranging thinking and excessive curiosity or persistence about a particular mystery were signs of ADHD, maybe hypomania (because too many and too rapid thoughts) or just too caffeinated, odd, and weird, weird, weird. My teachers thought I deliberately asked them questions they couldn't answer, after setting them up by asking "an intelligent question" they could answer. I was scapegoated several times by insecure teachers but had no way to know when questions quit being "intelligent" or even "thought-provoking" and became perceived teacher-baiting/embarrassment. I finally learned to make small talk and keep my other thoughts to myself...but OMG it is boring. What else do people think about, if not interesting mysteries, important ideas, social issues, science questions, etc.? Can it be they really are just thinking "What'll we have for dinner?" or "Gee, this weather is nice!" for more than a very few minutes at a time? If it's not that quiet, slow, or empty, then why am I weird? Most of my thoughts are kept to myself except with a very few people more like me, anyway. (If I am already thinking too much and "weird", what would they think if they really knew?) Going to a monthly geek meet-up would not be any kind of nourishment or relief of intellectual loneliness, anymore than it would be to live on a monthly meal...especially if the geeks were mostly or only the math kind. I'm middle-aged now and I still sometimes want to scream, "Is there anybody out there???!" because in just everyday real-time exposure, there usually aren't. My IQ is 162, but the math part is the much lower part of the average. I am relatively spatially-mathematically challenged, so I'm not so much smarter about everything! I can't imagine having a balanced IQ even higher--the loneliness of it is already hard enough, though I've gotten used to it. Of course, I value other types of interaction and enjoy people, mostly, just still feel alone in a deep way that is both more than and less than family/romantic, etc. relationship needs. And I don't feel superior, because I am socially uncomfortable, still fearing (a little) the "You're WEIRD!". I was born this way, and exercising my mind is not a project but a compulsion--so what's to feel superior about? I don't try to "help" others with dilemmas or burning questions because how often is there something I can do or solve that needs my smart but untrained brain, but also would not be deeply offensive to the highly educated person if I did point out something they hadn't noticed? I had to put together some medical ideas gleaned from medical databases to save my own life when I became very ill, and I got the treatment I needed but my contribution was tolerated only because my life was immediately at risk. It turned out they were conducting research along those lines at that same medical university, so even though I did not know it, they were probably shocked at my seeming presumption. Now that I have lived a few years in remission, they do not want to hear what I need to stay in remission...etc. I have to worry about offending them, too. Handicapped? YES!

[@jenniferwalker3289]

It's true. Our society pretends it values intelligence and ingenuity, but if you are intelligent and use your ingenuity, you are made fun of, bullied, ostracized, and worse. It rewards the average kids who follow directions and don't cause problems and go with the flow and don't ask too many questions. The majority of the educational system is meant to crank out so-so workers who will fit into society's molds. Children who want to think for themselves will have a fight on their hands their entire time through the system unless their parents are able and willing to do something different from public school. But if the USA is going to continue to be competitive with other nations, we need those gifted thinkers pushed towards the limits of their abilities. We need them urged and egged on and rewarded by society with respect and appreciation. We need special educations for them to be at LEAST as well funded as for the under average students. No kid left behind was a calamity.

[@aurora_-]

I have 145 i q my life is horrible I need help

[@kwpp7]

I have expressed very similar sentiments to my husband when I told him that it is exceedingly difficult to find friends who really "get" me. It's isolating and lonely as hell.

[@summerviolins2011]

I can so relate to this. I could read and write before I started school and I would be bored to tears needing to listen to others trying to read in class, so my teacher would give me extra assignments and books to read by myself to keep me entertained. I always paid attention in class and never really had to study for tests. But when I started university I was failing left and right becsuse I cciuldn’t handle the huge class rooms and lectures where you can’t ask questions if you don’t understand something and even if you’d pay attention during the lectures…you still needed to read tons of text for tests and I’d do what I always did…cram the night before the exam and it just wasn’t possible. I just couldn’t habdle the impersonal environment where you were pretty nuch on your own. I’ve always had a hard time making friends and veen really shy so the study griups didn’t work for me. I tried one or two times but it just wasn’t for me and I realized that to really succeed at the uni, you’d need to network and get to know a lot of people who’ll help you and study with you and who’ll give uou their study notes ig you were sick, or who help you to get the ins and outs of hie to get into programms the best way and all that stuff. And if you’re shy and don’t have that…it’s just VERY difficult to get through on your own. So I dropped out. And I went to a different small college with small classes where it was more like back in high school where uou could ask questions at all yimes during class and you’d feel more confortable going to the teacher after class to ask a question and I was back to being a great student and I always studied right after class that day so I didn’t have to study that much for exams. And then got bullied by others who kept saying I was always just lucky to get a good grade…like I didn’t deserve it because they’d start studying for exams months in advance and I started a couple of days before exams. Even when I explained to them that try to UNDERSTAND what is taught in class and ask right away if you don’t get it instead of trying to learn it all by heart…no…I just got lucky and it was unfair because I didn’t study as hard as they did so I didn’t deserve it. So that was difficult to hear and hard to take. But yes, the thing about being a perfectionist snd having anxiety iabd not tolerating injustice AT ALL is right. As is the part of being socially akward. I’d often times wished to rather just have normal IQ and be good in socializing with others because I think those will have the easiest time in life and will be likely to do well in life with the least oroblems in life. Because you can know about a lot of things abd learn quickly but if you’re terrified of talking in front of others or terrified of networking…it’s not much of a help and won’t really get you anywhere. I’m lucky to be in a research group where I can through out ideas and we can work on them together but I don’t have to go present them, someone else from the group will, so that is ideal. 👍🏻

[@TheNewRobotMaster]

If you have a high IQ, there's one thing you need to realize: you don't owe anyone anything. People will say you're wasting your talent, but what they mean by talent is what you can do for them. What you can do for others as a whole. One of the smartest guys I ever knew decided to go live in the mountains. He pops into the city for supplies every now and again but generally he just likes nature and survivalism. His great intellect could let him thrive in any academic setting he wanted, and yet he chose mountain man. He realized that most people didn't care about him, only what he could do for them. His choice inspired me and the choices I made in life.

[@DanielDaniel-gz4ms]

thank you! I was not aware how much I needed to hear this. Today of all days. Thank you! This man does sound interesting.

[@TheNewRobotMaster]

@@DanielDaniel-gz4ms I'm glad you found the advice helpful. I wish you best of luck out there. It has been some time since I have seen that man. I don't know where he is now, but I hope he is happy.

[@AJ-so6gd]

I've always thought that I'm the one who gets to decide what looks like a life well lived. I'm just smart enough to realize that it doesn't much resemble what other people think it should

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

Who was he? The Unibomber?

[@sassy-savvy]

Sadly, you have to play the world's survival game first for several years to afford a home in the mountains. I used to live in the countryside for 1 year before my parents split (pos father was deployed while we were moving) , and it was the best year of my life. I'm still trying to scrape by in the crappy city I have been stuck in since my dad left my disabled mom with nothing. Even if I work 3 jobs, it would never be enough to get a home in livable condition with acreage.

[@elisesterling9634]

I was moved up in school, was in gifted programs, tested at a 148 IQ. Still gifted in many subjects and especially creative areas. But it is hard for me in groups as people don’t tend to understand my vocabulary or interests. I have trouble fitting in. It’s lonely for me and I don’t know how to change myself to fit in. I envy people for whom life is easy. They don’t overthink.

[@summerviolins2011]

Sp get this and I have spent ny whole life trying to fit in. It’s a constant bartle. Especially at work my main frustration is trying to understand why everyone can’t at least TRY to do their best snd TRY to work in a manner that makes work easier for seVERYONE, not just them. And bringing in and implementing new ideas is soooooo tiring and time consuming because their is so much resistance and negativity and ”it will never work…that’s impossible”….without having even tried. But I’m old enough now to have made my peace with the fact that I’m different, think differentky and will never fit it. And you know what? We don’t have to change because there is nothing wrong with us. Luckily I always gind something to do by myself and I still love learning so I read a lot on my own and take courses that interesr me and try to work on making myself a better perso….better as a human being and better as in more educated..and I try to do my part in making this world a better place for everyone. I can only influence my own actions anyways so I concentrate on that. (Read the book ”Universal Human” by Gary Zukav! A great reas! 👍🏻)

[@frankG335]

Try finding your community in academics. That works for a lot of us. It's the one place where we're understood and appreciated.

[@lulumoon6942]

There are Gifted Adult therapists that can help. Best to you. ❤️🙏💞

[@edwardmitchell6581]

I thought doing Cloud Engineering would be good. But working from home doesn’t earn me many friends. It’s a shame academia doesn’t pay well.

[@nealfoley8844]

Seek higher education as a doctor, professor, advanced lawyer and then you may surround yourself with people who are more like you

[@carol_english]

My late partner had a brilliant son who died recently -a suicide/drug use death. He became a mechanic and then went through university in his early thirties to become a mechanical engineer. But he could never face the fear and anxiety of the job interview process so he always ended up with jobs far far beneath his ability level. In high school he would correct his teachers. He struggled to do math the way he was expected to do- showing all the steps. He could just see solutions. His mother was alcoholic who provided very little support to her children. His father was supportive in a passive non-judgemental way but didn’t do any hands on parenting so his son was left to parent himself. His self confidence was completely lacking, he never felt as though he fit in anywhere. Over time his social anxiety grew and grew. He turned more and more to drugs to ease the pain and loneliness. After his father died (he was a theoretical physicist) he went through he entire financial inheritance in five years, cut his family off, and died destitute and alone about two months ago. It was heartbreaking. What is being discussed here is not trivial. Brilliance doesn’t necessarily go hand in hand with emotional maturity or confidence. Brilliant young people can drown unnoticed without proper support. A terrible waste.

[@InappropriateShorts]

Ahh yes, the “show your work” teachers I HATED THAT. I never figured out if they thought I was cheating but I’d sleep through the lesson & they’d wake me up with a handout. I’d always be the first or second student finished. No work shown, 95+% correct without, fail.

[@fidesedquivide3486]

What a waste!

[@annai157]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@tempkinvient]

I had forgotten this until reading your post - I hated showing my working in Maths!

[@JD-wx3pk]

I knew I didn't fit in at school, because I couldn't ascertain much that was conferred to me in class. I was the Artist, sportsman etc, class clown. Parents always shifted, and my domestic life growing up was unsettling and sometimes very abusive. I moved lots, so by the time I started High school, I was completely intimidated. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADD as a child, so that explains lots. However, I was fortunate enough to met someone when I left School who gave me a trade, he had an IQ of 130. He told me I was Intelligent and since then I've always excelled in my profession and even taught myself how to stay focused and Read. I taught myself lots and of course I've forgotten lots too, but all I can say is, If it wasn't for that man, I'd probably be dead now. Great video. And hello to all the neurodivergents out there, Wishing you well.

[@erynlasgalen1949]

Curse, definitely. In school, there is always the mixed message from certain teachers -- you're really smart, but that doesn't make you any better than anyone else. The praise for the athletes and the popular kids was never followed with that caveat. Even my mother once told me she wished she could see me struggling for once. Then there's the pressure of living up to your potential and the shame if you don't become financially successful, cure cancer, or find a way to go faster than the speed of light. Finally, there is the realization at the age of threescore and ten, that the world is run by people far less intelligent than you are. Thank you for the information that anxiety comes with being neurologically atypical. It explains a lot about my own life weaknesses. I have an eight year old brandson who also bursts into tears if he makes a mistake, and I had begun to worry about him.

[@joaniecaroon9469]

Right on.

[@HammyGirl999]

Thx for sharing Eryn. Me too (personally and my 2 teens).

[@betelgeuse68]

What you're describing is high functioning autism. And there's a root to the problem. Even if you dismiss what I just said, this applies to ANXIETY, they are rooted in the same biochemistry. If you truly want to understand what's going on: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n32XhHdrm5enpbM The problem is two fold. First there's GLUTAMATE an amino acid that makes up 25% of GLUTEN and the dairy protein (CASEIN). Unfortunately modern bread products have 10x more GLUTEN than 50-60 years ago. The SECOND problem is methylation (biochemistry) where an individual can lose 40-70% of the B vitamins. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gmiZgZSlfMaDrpI The one that's crucial to this discussion is Vitamin B6. Its deficiency can lead to neurological problems including high functioning autism and full bore autism. That's because GLUTAMATE's counter is GABA (gamma aminobutyric acid) and like all things in life there needs to be "balance." And if an individual is losing 40-70% of the B vitamins, there's a price to be paid. That's because Vitamin B6 is used to make GABA. twitter.com/Beteljuice/status/1281062139919167488 Almost all major neurological problems are linked to excessive amounts of GLUTAMATE. This Tweet has links to the National Institutes of Health articles that make this clear. Everything from bi-polar disorder to schizophrenia to epileptic seizures to ANXIETY. twitter.com/Beteljuice/status/1283214622640574464 Anxiety can immediately be mitigated with Magnesium and avoiding food products that have the GLUTAMATE amino acid (bread, bread, bread). 70% of the world's population is Magnesium deficient due to soil erosion and its importance in brain biology (for balance) can't be understated: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198864/ Magnesium acts as a buffer to prevent GLUTAMATE's overactivation in our brain neurons which buttresses the problem of being deficient in Vitamin B6 and having less GABA in the brain: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJyuZGqIfNGkZsU Outside of taking magnesium every day (I recommend at LEAST 600 mg of Magnesium Glycinate for everyone regardless of how healthy they think they are), someone with methylation problems should be taking a *METHYLATED* B Complex -- this means the B vitamins are in their active form so one's body (with its problems) needn't do any conversion from inactive to active. I'm writing all this because I want to empower you and potentially help your grandson (if not understanding what was going on in your own head all these years).

[@rufusgee8029]

@@betelgeuse68 Thank you for these links. I have some reading to do, maybe supplements to pick up.

[@slice32421]

@@betelgeuse68 Sorry but please stop spreading this kind of bs. It may help yourself but the typical symtpoms of Giftedness are not generally a sign of autism. The Symtoms do correlate most of the times, but misdiagnosis is a money making sheme for clincs and pharma that kills real people. drbarbaraklein.squarespace.com/your-gifted-child-is-not-on-th/

[@AdrienLegendre]

There are 2 groups of high performings students. Some students achieve high grades to receive praise and recognition from others: parents, teachers, and co-students. This group becomes neurotic and dysfunctional when competing with others for praise in gifted classes, in an elite university, or in a high-pressure/high-paying job. The second group learns to love learning. These are life-long learners and great achievers. This is why the most important lesson for high-achieving students is to find their passion, an internal driving force, that will lead them to success. This is also why high-intelligence students should never be put in gifted classrooms or receive extra homework; these students should be in an independent study program focused on what they enjoy learning. Also, do not screen with IQ tests; provide students with an option for self-learning; those who can learn independently are the gifted students.

[@harveyhill2186]

I really appreciate this set of statements. They are so true.

[@deker0954]

Public school is a ranch to grow the same meat animal.

[@jeremyapache]

I tested into the gifted program in elementary school and simply refused to go. That line early on about smarter kids being stubborn really hit home. It didn’t matter how they explained it, I simply was not going to leave the place I had finally grown comfortable. The teachers and administrators apparently warned my parents they were making a huge mistake, but seeing as how they more or less let me make my own decisions, there was no turning back. They said I would eventually grow bored with school altogether. I would struggle to adjust socially and eventually begin to rebel, with extreme prejudice, towards anything I viewed as a waste of my time. I essentially stopped going to school at age 15 and that was after a long period of truancy. Major depression and OCD that had kicked in around age 13, by that point, had completely overtaken me. I struggled to sleep at night and get out of bed each morning. Nothing made sense. Each question beckoned another and once I introduced drugs into the mix (the only thing that brought me any form relief from the constant chatter in my mind), I was done for. That noise was awareness. Constantly aware of everything going on around me, but also, the immense struggle going on within my psyche. This awakening, when we begin to develop beyond our earliest years, was torture for me. Each new idea I came to understand about the world, about society, devastated me. That sense of right and wrong that doc mentions is fascinating. The unjust nature of reality itself has molded my personality in ways that go beyond my understanding. I didn’t open a book for 4 or 5 years and decided to take the GED test on a whim, just to see where I might fall short. Not only did I pass, but I tested quite high in all subjects except math (a subject I’m actually insanely DEFICIENT in). However, this was not the beginning of me putting my life together. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was the bare minimum and may be the last thing I ever “achieve”. My adult years have been nothing short of a disaster. I’m lucky to be alive. Addiction, mental illness, and tragic happenstance have created an unrecognizable version of myself that seems to get worse with each passing year. Thoughts of suicide dominate my every waking thought. I am only 32 years old. As many have pointed out, I connect with no one and refrain from talking about such things as not to come off like I’m bragging or as if I think I’m better than everyone else. It’s the opposite, really. I just want to live life like a so-called “average person” instead of feeling like I’m trapped just beyond the frame. Stuck in a life of constant analysis and rumination. I just hope I can find peace someday. I have no idea why I’m commenting this on my personal account on a years old video. Maybe I’m tired of suffering in silence. Who knows. If there’s anyone out there who feels the same way and you’re reading this, just know you aren’t alone. Fight. Fight harder against this thing than I did. You’re capable of so much more.

[@rockjockchick]

I hear you. Not sure how crazy this’ll sound or if it will be any help. Look up Patrick Teahan for help about trauma. Gabor Mate is interesting when it comes to addiction. Look into polyvagal theory for resetting the nervous system. The book Molecules of Emotion might be interesting? I wish you well! Also, seems of topic but I promise it isn’t…perhaps read the book The Diet Cure.

[@clairescott5659]

Wow, your comment struck such a chord for me. I appreciate what you shared here. I've always wanted to feel "average" too; to turn down the volume on the mental chatter and overwhelming amount of information from my environment. And you're right - it's literally impossible to even talk about the experience of being smart without alienating others more. Achievement is a tough one too. I used to be really sad about the opportunities I'd missed because I was so dysregulated from trying to survive. But with trauma-focused therapy and focusing more on relationships than on my own aspirations, I finally found some peace. Life is kind of beautiful if you can admire it in small doses. I wish you that same peace wherever your journey leads.

[@DNA350ppm]

@@clairescott5659 A beautiful perspective!

[@DNA350ppm]

Dear J-apache! I know I challenge you, but I think you can sustain it - you only lack courage, but it is a learnable skill, so get out in the world, in the world that interests you, personally and individually, and dare to do difficult things, difficult for yourself, and dare to make mistakes and experience failures sometimes, learn to comfort yourself after disappointments - and do test if some deeper native American wisdom is a context for you to find a misson in. Take a secret "indian name" that resonates with you, think of a secret totem animal for yourself, craft something connecting to it. Are you an eagle, bear, moose, cougar, snake, dolphin? Journal daily in your beautiful, vivid, free English, about each day's experiences, thoughts, and dreams, let yourself have Welt-Schmerz, and explore the meaning of your dreams, night and day! You can do this! Say with temperament: Perkele, basta! Stop that dull life you have punished yourself to live! Laugh, dance, live, wander! All the best wishes - your tribe waits for you to find them! 🦬🦒🦔🦇🐻‍❄🦌🦁🦭🪶🐉🦘

[@SeanHartnett-t8c]

you aren’t alone. I am here. I feel your pain.

[@jenniferwalker3289]

I experienced a lot of this growing up. And don't forget the never getting help because "you're smart. You can figure it out" or "The other kids need my help more than you. You can do it yourself. " or "You're smart. Figure it out." Meaning I got less attention, less validation, less "brainstorming" with a teacher/ mentor/ parent etc. Less explanations. And it also means more being alone. More being singled out. More being avoided by other kids. Less time with all the adults - teachers, coaches, mentors, etc. who are supposed to guide me by just spending time in my presence and modeling behavior for in front of me. It means more loneliness. And He** yeah on your comment about the fact that people can and do brag like crazy about athletes, musicians, artists, and various other high achievers, but if your high achievement happens to be academic, you have to super humble about it so you don't make anyone feel bad that they aren't as good as you.

[@rockjockchick]

Yep. Very important points to make.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

Exactly. I got to the stage at school where I could not ask a question. The answer would be, "Well you - of ALL people - should know how to do that."

[@anonygent]

Being alone/excluded was my problem. I was popular in 1st and 2nd grades, but completely outcast by the other kids in 3rd grade, which continued all the way to law school.

[@butterflygirl374]

I relate to this so much! And you can't share this with your peers because they will think you're "bragging" or "overthinking". People either wanna be around you because you can give them the answers/make them look good or they don't wanna be around because they get jealous of you, so it's overall such a lonely life

[@debspence8361]

My kid was in the gifted program. The problem was that the enrichment programs were all math and science and she hates math.

[@beckyobrien7452]

The biggest problem I've seen is the staff in "advanced" or "gifted" programs usually double duty causing them to approach high IQ kids as simply brighter children. Instead of trying to address the other psychological/developmental differences that often come with higher IQ, they focus on giving harder problems and fall back on STEM. There's little understanding in a traditional educational environment on how to handle these kids, especially at the grade school level.

[@debspence8361]

Becky O'Brien. My kid is interested in reading, writing and art. She could care less about STEM. She dropped out of school this year. She is almost done with her GED and will start college next spring.

[@tinkerbell2882]

Yeah only to benefit them not her not u or her future just them them them sorry

[@concertmasterntl]

Yes. That’s typical of gifted girls, especially. I just enrolled my daughter in a very small gifted school where the directors specifically mentioned that issue as a common one when we toured the school.

[@Laudanum-gq3bl]

Yup. I’m gifted and have a math disability. It happens more than you’d think and it definitely wasn’t diagnosed back in the day. People assumed I was lazy. Nope. I’d given up.

[@hamiltonlinderman7429]

just gotta say, reading some of these comments has me a little teary. feels like someone hacked into my brain and pulled and explained everything I’ve been feeling all these years. just know you aren’t alone

[@3nrika]

I was thinking something to this effect. With an IQ of ~140 it gets lonely.

[@js72634]

Me too. It feels better sweet. It's great to know there's others out there. Still frustrating. Can't seem to find anyone and mental health that has background or experience with this. I also have childhood trauma that needs to be addressed. So it's dual diagnosis but I'm the only one that knows.

[@commonmancrypto1648]

Having a high IQ is as much a curse as it is a gift. My IQ is over 150. I was tested in the third grade after constantly complaining about being bored in school. I believe I am in the 99.9 percentile. I am having trouble approaching this topic because I do not want to sound arrogant. But the truth is, you feel alienated and disconnected from much of society because they cannot think the way you do. It sound so arrogant, but it gets so frustrating holding back. Not talking about the things that truly interest you, waiting for people to understand things that come effortlessly to you. I know this sounds arrogant..... and for that I am sorry. I don't think I'm the smartest person in the world. I would be willing to bet that gifted people have higher instances of depression and mental illness. To put it bluntly, you feel different than the rest of society. You feel like you don't completely fit in. But occasionally you find one of your people. It can happen randomly and in the most unusual places...... imagine a Super Bowl Sunday party with 25 participants and then there's two nerdy guys having a private conversation regarding designing an algorithm to help better understand the betting habits of fantasy football players... You know what I'm talking about LOL

[@danielzavalahuerta]

May I please know what you do for a living? Do you have any interests that would be seen as esoteric to most people? Up to what level of math are you capable of understanding? If not math can you understand complex philosophical discussions? (I don’t know what constitutes as complex in philosophy I must admit) I have consistently tested around 130-140 iq on Internet tests, some free some payed, and just feel like such an outsider and I assume it’s because of this and my arrogance about it. My problem is that I feel like there is nothing I cannot understand if I try, I’ve read Carl Jung and Nietzsche and can comfortably understand them but know full well I could be absolutely blind and in actuality be missing out on the fundamental concepts. I slept through my physics class in high school and had the highest grade and left the higher level of physics my high school provided (I forgot what it was called) because I was severely bored and regret it so much. I overshared like I usually do but my question is essentially if you could please tell me what you perceive to be different about your life because of your intelligence because I want to compare and contrast. Yes I know not to compare yourself to others but fuck it. If you don’t want to that’s fine to I understand no offense taken.

[@danielzavalahuerta]

Second question would be what you think a person with 150+ iq could understand that I can’t if you happen to have a clue.

[@commonmancrypto1648]

@@danielzavalahuerta Based on all those words, you're gifted too. -)

[@commonmancrypto1648]

@@danielzavalahuerta I'll give you a better response when I have time. There''s an interesting conversation here.

[@danielzavalahuerta]

@@commonmancrypto1648 thanks man I appreciate you trying to spare some time.

[@lovebirds360]

I had a similar experience with the whole "never had to study in early education" gifted kid syndrome. I also have severe ADHD that wasn't diagnosed until I was a junior in high school and begged my parents to go see a psychiatrist and get tested. Where neurotypical kids learn how to study and skills for learning, I never did and still have problems with that today. When I started struggling in math classes, my teachers chalked it up to laziness and refused to help me. I had a fucked up educational experience to begin with, though. Went to a pretty small charter school and a lot of the teachers despised me because of religious differences & favoritism towards founders' kids and large donators to the school.

[@xedn]

I’ve had a horrible experience at schools in America till the very end it was great to finally have a good school it was so hard sometimes in the past schools they let me become horrible on my own with no real care then sometimes I’d have to wait years after becoming sober from drugs to have a awakening I am only 23 but the pain I’ve felt for years just went away from me teaching myself even though failing I still find the light to keep it going I don’t give up school is irrelevant I can teach myself everything online school is free as-long as you have internet

[@kijafabattle]

I had almost this exact experience. I’ve been trying to study David goggins in order to take control of my life and unlock all of my potential and you can do it to we just have to work hard.

[@wolfie1027]

Religious people..not particularly high in IQ, mainly due to the fact that anyone who wouldn’t question outlandish ideas that are told as truth.. can’t possibly have an open, functioning, inquisitive and exploratory mind.

[@ErikaEmody]

The IQ comparisons of 70 to 100 to 130.... that makes soooo much sense. We had our GATE program from grades 4-7. I LEFT the GATE program in 8th grade because the new teacher was "normal". She didn't even get it. I was bored. I wanted to be back in shop class where I could make things and where my crush was - hahaha!

[@jeffhicks8428]

Imagine what it's like at 3 and 4 standard deviations, especially if you aren't born into great circumstances and don't have the chance to be in the right rooms. Forever an outsider. If by sheer will and or luck you make it to where you are challenged, you wont fit in there either.

[@nikkinelsonhicksify]

Yep. I was a gifted kid but poor so a lot of extracurricular activities and schooling were beyond my family's budget. Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts plagued me through my teens. I'm in my fifties now and a mother of two gifted kids. As soon as I saw the signs of depression, I got them into therapy. They are unfortunately as weird as me. So, c'est la vie.

[@sunnygirl87]

❤

[@thebannings6176]

I have had such a similar experience.in my life as a gifted kid now older with my own children. We're definitely all weird.❤️

[@vkar1907]

@@thebannings6176 Why call us weird? Why not call as blessed? We are blessed in many ways just the society scrues up a lot for us. With proper support and same minded pears we would not feel weird or let us call "weird" by others.

[@udowannun7780]

@@vkar1907 I see where you’re coming from, but hear me out. My personal objection to any implication that my “giftedness” has been a blessing comes from that mythos that if you are intelligent, you are bound to automatically be successful; you are fortunate above those who have a lesser level of intellect and therefore anything less than a spectacular academic performance is laziness; and my personal pet peeve - you can’t have ADHD because you get good grades. It’s as if the genpop sees a higher IQ as some shield from life’s iniquities. “Weird” is fine with me b/c that’s how I’ve always felt I was perceived by my peers, even my own family. I will own it and make my “weirdness” an asset, but to use any term, including “gifted” to describe a state that has some advantages but also comes with a number of burdens is just inaccurate, imho. We all view the world through lenses tinted with our personal experiences, of course - that’s just my own.

[@anonymoussaga8723]

I’m gifted and I call myself weird or a freak all the time, it’s just my hyperbolic and facetious sense of humour.

[@kwpp7]

Gifted individuals are massively struggling in today's societal atmosphere of absolute stupidity.

[@LaurenceDay-d2p]

Ayn Rand was correct - the favoritism of mediocrity is destroying our society. Everyone wants to be "equal" and mediocre. Nobody wants to excel.

[@therearenoshortcuts9868]

if they are really smart they'd come up with a solution LOL either that, or they are just: smart enough to realize there is a problem, but not smart enough to solve the problem

[@dangolfishin]

Pretty cool that we as a society are starting to piece together the shared traits of highly intelligent people. I hated school and eventually just slept through my classes. I aced every test, yet never studied or did homework. The pace of school was just painfully slow and I just learned to tune it out. On the other hand my social skills have always been terrible. I have a ton of social anxiety and generally don't like talking to anyone. Now at 45 I've just come to terms with who I am, what I don't enjoy and I just go with it.

[@frankG335]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I'd like to share some of my experiences in case it may help a parent or teacher faced with working with gifted kids: I think my parents did a pretty good job of managing our intelligence issues as kids, especially for the weird times in which I was raised. I finally skipped high school because my IQ consistently tested at 185 (they tested it so many times my parents put a stop to it), and the school counselor told my parents that if they didn't let me go to college, I was going to be destroyed by the boredom and repetition (I was begging to be allowed to go to college, and a I knew what I wanted to do). My parents were also gifted so they decided not to skip me earlier, for the sake of socialization. But they provided tons and tons of extra, interesting stuff for me to do - lessons in things that interested me, mentorship, etc. I studied all kinds of things, did deep dives into hobbies and studies, and learned how to study. I thrived in college, loved math and physics, and sought out the most difficult uni I could find and thrived there. In elementary school, I was in a gifted program which was helpful, only in that all the gifted kids from the district got to know each other and are still friends many years later. However, it should have just been a social group. It was punitive in that we had to make up the work we missed in regular school because we went to the extra, gifted school. And we were picked up from regular school to go to the program in the short bus that was used for the "retarded kids", who the teaches called "MR"s. They called us "MG"s (For Mentally Retarded and Mentally Gifted). That wasn't lost on our classmates, and they let us have it, saying we were just like the "MR"s. There was one teacher who resented all the gifted kids and literally refused to give us books because "it wasn't fair to the other kids for us to have such an advantage". That kind of labeling was stopped by boomers when they got old enough to change the way people treated kids- they stopped the beating of children and the negative labeling and punishing kids with learning disabilities. But they themselves were punished for being different. But I was socialized carefully so that I was taught that all people have some kind of gift and mine didn't make me better or special. They kept my childhood creative and interesting. I have to study all the time to keep my mind happy. As for poor parenting, I had one parent who resented my intelligence when she wasn't bragging about it. She failed to understand that my intelligence was not brattiness, that I was no threat to her. As I grew old enough to have opinions and read psychology books and point out inconsistencies in her behavior towards us (like beating us when she was frustrated, out of anger and not for discipline - I pointed out that her own books in child development said not to do that, which enraged her even more), she decided I was a problem and really turned on me behind closed doors. In public, she was proud and show-offy, which was embarrassing and inappropriate. Parents and teachers need to be careful not to project their own insecurities onto gifted kids like that teacher and this parent. I agree that we gifted people also do tend to overthink, brood, and, ruminate. So we have to be taught ways of coping with that active mind. For me, throwing myself into projects and studies really helps keep my mind focused and disciplined, but it's a lifelong struggle. Parents and teachers can help teach coping mechanisms like this. I'd like to see a specialty in psychology of the gifted, just like there are people who specialize in autistic people or other forms of neurodiversity. Thanks for reading this if you did.

[@Zsuzsi-eu3pd]

Hi, I can very much relate to your post. I wanted to comment on the following: "we gifted people also do tend to overthink, brood, and, ruminate. So we have to be taught ways of coping with that active mind." I was a gifted student and what you were describing was a major struggle for me for decades. The mind is not that overactive when the optimal environment is created and that environment is likely to be different for neurodiverse people so applying neurotypical solutions to neurodiverse problems will not work. I would never be able to manage as many different things as successful neurotypicals do and that is fine (I am on the autism spectrum). The successful management of everything we take responsibility for should be the goal instead of coping the way neurotypicals do. Our brains are wired for a different approach. Being autistic comes with some restrictions but that is the point of having a diagnosis. Becoming more organized, having more structure than average people do, downsizing in every possible aspect will lead to a more simple lifestyle when the mind only has to focus on like 15 different main things instead of 50. The mind can be decluttered like a house gets decluttered. Making life as simple as possible is the key to optimal functioning. Identifying and setting the right priorities is the first step. Not feeling bad about not doing the same amount of things as neurotypicals is the second. It is very unhealthy to compare neurotypical lifestyles and their achievements to ours. It is like comparing apples to pears. No wonder it causes us overthinking, rumination etc. I used my autism as an example because being gifted also makes people different and stand out, and not necessarily in our favor. Sometimes the solution is quite easy, we just need a paradigm shift to discover that solution.

[@thesmokeshow6952]

When I was a child. My teachers actually thought I was a little slow. I was placed in special classes because I couldn’t focus in class. I was diagnosed with adhd and I had to go to therapy for anger issues. What they didn’t know is that both my parents were raging alcoholics and didn’t pay much attention to me or my sisters. In high school I was easily bored in AP classes. I’m currently going to school for mechanical engineering and have an iq in the gifted range.

[@Most_Trustworthy_Weasel]

Probably the only believable comment here so far.

[@jeanjones2281]

My whole family is adhd. We all have done much better as adults because we learned to organize themselves.

[@wolfie1027]

The irony is “gifted” should be average and magnanimity and compassion towards animals should be fostered and taught. There are so many unintelligent people in this world. When you examine what they believe, what they know and what they don’t know, how much they resemble each other and their blind practices, you can see the conditioning. It can inherently make people less intelligent.

[@rockjockchick]

Makes sense. When teachers are boring and parents are abusive and neglectful it can make for a pretty rough ride.

[@InappropriateShorts]

Gifted kids are slow, they just make up for it in the places where they’re really fast

[@mississippiatheistette8769]

YESSSSSS. I am highly intelligent and I struggle so much in life. I always have had trouble with life. I have no patience with explaining things to the average person or spending ages waiting for other people to learn things that I learn very quickly. I get bored in jobs and never have been able to hold a stable job. I master whatever it is and then I quit. Drug addiction, jail time, 9th grade drop out, socially impaired, All of those things fit perfectly in my life experience. I hate it when people say, " but you're so smart. Why don't you do x,y,z? You could do anything you wanted to do." No one has a clue what its like. I appreciate what this man is doing by spreading awareness on this issue. I hate to think of all the many children who are dealing with what I dealt with and aren't getting the challenge and access to the resources that they need to be the best they can be because this kind of existence really stinks.

[@jonnya6107]

Yes, I have felt this "curse" for most of my life. I have an IQ of 135, and while I love having so much knowledge, understanding and cognitive ability, I also feel like an outsider, misunderstood, and get extremely bored and frustrated rather quickly. I've suffered with anxiety, depression, insomnia, extreme boredom and despair and also suicidal thoughts, for most of my adult life. I have to slow my brain down using various methods at times, such as typing with less fingers than most folk, or consciously focusing on the way my pen is moving across a piece of paper, making it's mark as it goes, or I find that my spelling is terrible, my writing is very messy (illegible sometimes), that there are even whole words missing, because my brain is 3-4 or more words ahead of where the sentence is at. I don't suffer fools gladly, and have unfortunately upset many people in my time, through my inabilty to cope with their lack of understanding on what to me is simple and fundamental. I have lost many friends, jobs and partners because of yhe way I am, my sincere and humble apologies go out to all of them. Sometimes it feels like I have been placed into an alien landscape, looking out from the eyes of someone else, other than myself, and that I am doomed to be trapped here for the whole of eternity. Sometimes I wish it would all just end, right in that moment, or at least give it a rest and stop, even if just for a few minutes, but it never does. The clock just keeps on ticking, seemingly ever slower when I get like that, and yet I refuse to take my own life, for several reasons: 1, I beleive somehow, that ending it myself is not part of the plan for this "game" we are caught up in; 2, I don't wish to hurt or upset my friends, family or dog, by diong so; And 3, because I am curious to know how it ends, if it indeed ends, and to meet my "natural fate" you may say, thats if it really ends, please someone tell me it does, and fairly soon, because I cannot take much more of this place weird, yet wonderful place, hehe 😊. The only real ways I have found to combat the way I am, is to blot out my thoughts by being an adrenalin junky, doing extreme sports and activities. I can't say I'd recommend it for others, but putting myself in a highly dangerous, or even potentially lethal situation, helps me to "turn off my mind" for brief periods of time. It is virtually the only way I can get some sense of real achievement, happiness and "normality" within myself, however, I do find a lot of comfort in getting out into nature and also by having intelligent dialogue, with a like minded "equal," I mean not to sound condescending here, I am merely stating MY truth. I even got into drink and drugs quite heavily, in a desperate attempt to quieten my brain from the anxiety of watching the world around me continue to make the same dumb mistakes repeatedly, however I am free from these afflictions for 10 years now, thank God, it was awful when I recall it. I hate to say it, but I'm a kind of drop out in society because of it. I can't seem to do what the other folk do on a regular basis, day in, day out, it bores me not merely to tears, but literally to the point of wanting to end my life, as I get so down and depressed by these (to me) overwhelmingly mundane existences we are led to believe are the "acceptable norm." At times it saddens me, other times it madens me, though almost always, when it comes, it brings me to extreme despair, although, in recent years, I have found a good sense of acceptance and faith in the universe, because of several lessons, visions and audible messages, that were quite clearly sent my way, from who knows where, that everything is the way it is, because that is how it is meant to be right now. And what came with them, was the deep understanding that things never stay the same for too long, the only thing that remains constant, is change. There are many other aspects I could touch on, but I'd keep you people here all day reading this wall of text, so I'll stop here. thanks go out to the Dr Duddy and the makers of this video for understanding the plight of folk such as myself, and to heighten awareness of it across the globe. One final thing, I really do hope and wish that one day, everyone in the world will stop fighting, bickering and dividing themselves, and instead embrace love, peace and harmony, as one, truley united race of equals. Take care of yourselves and each other folks, love and peace to you all. 🤗🙌❤

[@InappropriateShorts]

You should charge for this novel you wrote or make an audio book

[@SheWhoWalksSilently]

Not gonna lie, the way you talk about experiencing the world reminds me a lot of myself. Have you considered that you might have ADHD? My thoughts being too fast was something that adderall xr fixed. Didn’t even know that was possible. Good luck to you.

[@InappropriateShorts]

@@SheWhoWalksSilently 80HD is so low res.😵‍💫

[@vangoghsear8657]

This might sound trite to you but Jesus is the way. He saved me and I can always talk to Him. It can help tremendously when there's no one else.

[@jonnya6107]

@@vangoghsear8657 thank you, this has been revealed to me elsewhere also, in many forms. Finally, after much doubt and intrepidation, I believe. 🙂🙏🙌❤️👍

[@Lily-Bravo]

I did all my essays in the bathroom in the morning. my parents thought I had a cleanliness fetish, but I just didn't want them to know I had left it to the last minute. Even now, the best inspiration only comes with fear. I thrived, and I mean thrived during the pandemic. Did loads of things, loved being on my own. Oh and my essays? I got by. Not A grade, but I wasn't bothered about that.

[@PinkBelle2006]

Physics. I wanted to understand it and I was told just memorize the formulas. No.

[@LK-pc4sq]

Still try!! Physics is cool and amazing! Do this test! create a curved track and where to round steel balls, one larger then other, are let go at the end, both steel balls make contact in the center, which of the balls will continue forward, the other jerked backwards? why?

[@muhammadedwards8425]

That's what happened to me and math. Why is this a rule? Why does this formula work? After high school, I watched documentaries about how the mathematicians figured some of them out and understood a week's lesson in two hours most

[@nightyew2160]

The physics texts I have seen do explain how physicists got their formulas, whether by developing a mathematical model that fit their observations or by combining more basic formulas to calculate more complex relationships. If you're actually wondering why physics works at all, you're moving out of the field of physics and into the fields of philosophy and speculative theology.

[@anthonycrowley2778]

In the air force school I rattled the instructor because I wanted to learn things from the bottom up This way I knew it fully. But he said” you want to find out where the person lives, knock on their door and ask why did you say this”. But just listening to facts kept me from knowing on the level I needed to be involved and retain

[@TrickWithAKnife]

It doesn't get much easier as a gifted adult unless you are fortunate enough to come across talented individuals. They don't necessarily need to be in the same IQ range, but experts in fields that are of interest to gifted adults are a beautiful oasis in a world that was not designed for us. Most of the time we have to fake our way through life so as not to inadvertently offend others. The duality of guilt for not reaching our potential, and frustration for being looked down upon by others who see us as egotistical or liars when the mask slips.

[@jpdutoit3383]

You explained it exactly.

[@seeratlasdtyria4584]

I was also a high I.Q. "gifted" kid to the point where I was never really bested by anyone I knew throughout my youth, including my instructors. On the other hand, due to many family moves, the lack of continuity amongst social groups pretty much created a number of social skill issues, as at some point, one grows weary of having to continually explain why I could do all the things I did and had done, and was capable of. The worst part of all was when they got around to 'testing me', (159 plus or minus a couple of points) and unilaterally decided to 'direct' not only the course of my education, but of my life's endeavors as well. You might guess at how well THAT was received, and you'd be correct. To put it simply, I told them (after enlisting the support of my father) to pretty much go to hell. I refused to be placed in the 'gifted' classes, instead opting for the middle ground guys whom I spent a LOT of time trying to help with the subjects/issues with whom they were struggling with, which I found was no burden, as these 'peeps' seemed the far more grounded and less 'affected'. In doing so I gained the enmity of pretty much all of the 'advanced' crowd's instructors (but not the students themselves): my efforts culminating in the 'average joe' group achieving 3 successive victories in the schools' sponsored, yearly scholastic 'game' competition patterned on the old collegiate competitive competition on tv at the time. I can't tell you how much this infuriated a couple of the self 'elected' educational 'gods' teaching the advanced classes. Otoh, the mid and lower level teachers apparently loved the shit out of it LOL. The round about point I'm working towards here, is that it takes a lot of different 'ingredients' to build a 'gifted' cake. It wasn't till I got to the Harvard Law School, that I felt truly 'comfortable' about discussing freely, things that interested me in and about the nature of 'being' along with many of my other interests. The 'joy' was that for many of those individual subjects, I could find someone who knew as much, if not more about the individual subject than I, but also in several instances, stimulated new insights which I had not previously considered. Sounds funny, but academically speaking, (excepting the rampant 'leftism') HFLS tuned out to be one of the happiest experiences of my life, while enabling an impressionable western mountain kid, to brush shoulders with several people I count as amongst the 'greatest' of the last century. Never forget, I.Q. almost never equates with wisdom as I.Q. , I believe, is largely a function of genetics and nutrition; while Wisdom is (hopefully) gifted by experiencing an extended and fulfilling Life. P.S.- As Nikki pointed out, I also have suffered extended bouts of depression in my life; resulting primarily from 'learning things I would rather not have known- about the nature, history, and proclivities of our species.

[@rockjockchick]

I agree on your points completely about IQ and wisdom.

[@FuzzyElf]

I say this hoping you want to learn about people's perspectives, learn about communicating, and help people access your own contributions. For me: Your excessive use of 'quotation' marks makes it very difficult to read your writing -- just to want to continue reading. Compare it to trying to listen to someone who says "like" or "you know" every 7 or 8 words. It's tiring, maybe exhausting. And I don't know what your purpose is, so I don't know how to interpret what you're saying. They break up the writing, ruin continuity. I'm trying to think of a comparison, and all I have is William Shatner. With his long pauses and seemingly random emphasis on certain words, it's easy to lose what he's saying and focus only on how he's saying it. His message, his intent, the concepts he wants to relate, can get lost that way.

[@himpty_dimp]

​@@FuzzyElfomg, you are a horrible person! I can't 'unsee' them now. I need something else to 'irritate' me like I need a 'hole' in my head. 😂

[@urfbiagent7501]

Love this discussion. I had to do a lot of work with my son early on around his perfectionism, and one of the things i taught him is “If you are not winning, you are learning” something i also took a lot away from although I’m not gifted whatsoever.

[@rockjockchick]

That is such a CRUCIAL thing to teach all children. Well done. :) ❤

[@Simsim3e]

I knew my kid was going to have a high IQ like his father (148). In his first few years of life I explored everything with him without labeling or naming anything. I wanted him to experience life spiritually and intuitively instead of mentally. By the time he was 5 he was talking like a mad scientist. People always asked how old he is because he is so articulate. He didn’t start forming clear words until he was 4. He learned everything by listening to the conversations between me and his dad. He uses complex words correctly without needing to explain it to him. I love that he is very protective over animals and people. He has a deep empathy and respect for life.

[@rickacton7540]

homeschooled higher-IQs are usually high-verbal and low-math (symbolic) unless they get tutoring

[@breakmanradio2530]

In 7th grade, I was tested by a psychiatrist because I wasn't paying attention in class after getting straight A's all throughout grade school. I was found to have a 135 IQ and to be reading and writing at a college level. I was reading books like The Science of Good and Evil by Michael Shermer and Consilience: The Unity of Knowledge at the time. The psychiatrist's recommendation? Ritalin. We didn't have any gifted programs in my rural area. I could have taken classes at my local community college but no one even thought of it. My parents had no idea how to help me either. It led to a miserable high school experience defined by boredom, isolation, and frustration. In addition, I was bullied at school from grade school to high school and my father abused me at home. It led to a downward spiral where I ended up ruining my life. Now I'm 31 and I work as a laborer remodeling bathrooms. I hate my life. I often suffer from suicidal ideation. All I ever wanted to do was to eliminate as much unnecessary human suffering as possible. I wish I had become a teacher and then a professor of education. But instead, I'll probably end up dying without making any significant impact on the world. It makes me question the benevolence of society, of any higher power, and of all those around me.

[@WTF-Cubing]

Never underestimate the power of your influence on those you interact with. I also wanted to become a teacher, specifically a professor to engage in the level of conversations I find pleasurable. Yet… being a professor today is different than it has been in the past. Political motives have corrupted the system. Follow and honour your passions, and the ripple effect will inspire others to become better than they believe they can be. We need more common geniuses and less celebrity intellectuals to promote a healthy society. Everyday great people change the world my friend. You never know what epigenetic changes you can induce in the common person and change our future as a species for the better.

[@catcat9582]

I was wondering how you are doing? I relate to you and also your thoughts in your last paragraph. I hope you are well and are able to feel you are able to do things that are more meaningful to you

[@myfirstnamemylastname2994]

31 is young, Breakman...Please keep growing in ways that matter to you even if they are not related to your income.

[@ssb1056]

It is never too late. You can use your intelligence and focus on creativity. That was a way for me to deal with the pressures

[@rockjockchick]

@@WTF-Cubingthis is so true

[@Krista_and_her_houla]

I was one of them. I never had the support when I needed it in high school. The system enriches children in elementary school, but fail us in high school. Money talks and my family never had it.

[@slashkeyAI]

Maybe you should've smarted your way out of not having enough money? "I'm so smart!!! Support me!!!" Support yourself, genius.

[@lyndaconrad4549]

My son was one of those kids that "just get it" and consequently was bored in school where they tend to teach to the lowest common denominator.

[@Chiyasi]

i was like this, learned very quickly and the classes would be very slow, no matter the level of education, school was always boring and at somepoint in highschool i lost interest entirely. i was the only one in my class to fail every class and graduate early with a diploma xD school system did not cater to me at all, when id be ready for a new topic, theyd give 10 more bouts of homework from the previous topic and it just drudged on and on and made me hate school cause of all the menial busy work, just didnt make sense to me.

[@pearpo]

I found books on math and science from 50 years ago much easier to understand. The “new” math as I believe the called it in the 70’s was more like a dumbed down system of Teaching math.

[@pearpo]

Basically intelligence was inverted to a negative paradigm. You learned abstracted “rules” which were arrogant and completely incorrect, only to then learn a rule that broke the previous rule. Artificial bull caca.

[@pearpo]

It also created a “hacker” mindset, a sort of lack of morality and rules actually having merit for why they are rules.. and this false sense that intelligence is about breaking these stupid artificial rules down.

[@pearpo]

Vedic Mathematicians is pretty cool. I haven’t studied it deep enough to learn the limitations but it has more cohesion than the new western math textbooks.

[@Valentine-xr3ic]

I skipped and it caused some pretty complex socialization problems that were exacerbated by the giftedness. Just having to explain my age difference guaranteed a conversation about why I skipped a grade, which forced me to admit what I was trying to hide. It was a mess.

[@sharamadsen3080]

I developed a weird OCD-like thought process from being so bored at school. I would assign value to the letters in the sentences the teacher said, and calculate the sentence values. I felt content when they were even numbers. I also began saying everything backwards in my head (now I can talk backwards...embarrassing party trick!). I was tested in grade ten, and learned I had a 135 iq.

[@tommore3263]

.taerg s'tahT

[@LK-pc4sq]

I had adhd at school and it affected my grades! till 11th grade then was put into normal classes! I am over 50 and now my high IQ is showing up as being a futurist and predicting the outcome of things like Climate Change and Poverty!

[@svenmorgenstern9506]

Which means you independently derived the Soundex algorithm (used to be commonly used for searching for similar sounding words in a file or database - since superceded by other methods). 👍

[@anaelauve8070]

I identify with your comment so much. I also developed ocd- related habits due to boredom in elementary and middle school. In my case it was with the lines or the spots on walls and floors. Ended up getting pretty good at visual arts as a result. Later on I was diagnosed with high- functioning autism and ocd. When I took the IQ tests in high school - I scored 134. My grades had dropped a bit at that time due lack of studying habits. College was a struggle due to the actual experience not meeting the expectations I had of it and feelings of inadequacy. It's been a struggle. Sorry for any typpos- english is not my first language

[@mrepicpant]

You should get tested for autism spectrum disorder, that’s not OCD

[@pedinurse1]

Im so glad I saw this, it validated everything I went through with our son.Yes I had one like that, it was so difficult, we took him to a psychologist cause we thought he was nuts, LOL the dr said he is super gifted. He is now ICU RN after much encouragement. and allowing him to fail and search his own path. And he is happy

[@majordudette]

My mom sent me to a psych when I was an awkward high-iq teen. I went once and that’s it. Thought the Dr. was stupid. My hubs was in icu for 2 months last yr. The icu nurses were stellar. They have to know all the machines and so many things - and are on their feet twelve hours keeping everything running, following ever-changing multi-doctor instructions, and caring for their patient. Phenomenal.

[@TrixieTaylor-bn6dw]

I am gifted according to IQ and have ADHD. I suffer anxiety and have an extremely strong sense of justice. I let a lot of things that don't interest me slide which isn't ideal. I am messy and disorganised and easily distracted. In my case, my high intelligence meant my ADHD was masked and therefore diagnosed later, leading me to only get help and medication at a later time than when kids usually get diagnosed. Because I was an intelligent and well-behaved kid apart from asking annoying questions or talking too much, , I could ‘keep up’ at school doing next to nothing, barely even paying attention and definitely not doing homework/studying on time, and never stood out because I didn’t (purposefully) misbehave. I kept this up and made it through school and uni and post grad but being a parent and the lack of structure and brain stimulation screwed me up. I also have a yearning to have deep discussions on intellectual matters and tire very quickly of small talk. It is a frustrating experience. I can read a book or report for hours and ignore everything else around me (hyperfocus); yet, I cannot focus when it comes to routine, simple tasks and constantly lose objects and track of time. The reason is that the ADHD mind thrives on constant stimulation, and if you add a high IQ to the mix, the stimuli better be interesting and complex. Otherwise, the tasks you are trying to carry out are "dismissed" by your brain as rubbish. That is just my experience.

[@nancylee2120]

I Google-searched Dr. Duddy and couldn’t find any further info about the needs of children identified as gifted. I really wish he would write a book or otherwise publish his impressions of smart kids afflicted with anxiety, perfectionism, awkwardness, social problems, and all the other baggage that can accompany cognitive “gifts”. It’s the first time I’ve heard the extra-brights referred to as “non-neurotypical” and I felt it as a balm.

[@derekb.e1151]

Read books from Miraca Gross. That would be good.

[@nancylee2120]

Derek B. Elkin Thanks so much. Your reference led me to the SENG Gifted group, which looks like it will be very helpful. Namaste...

[@derekb.e1151]

@@nancylee2120 You are welcome! Also check Lewis terman and Letta Stetter Hollingworth.

[@nancylee2120]

@Derek, thank you!! I will. ❤️

[@dervla7786]

Let them focus on only a few subjects they like most, and allow them to study these on their own. If they can understand how and why they’ll apply this knowledge in the future (has to be a bigger purpose than just money, and it’ll likely be such), there shouldn’t be any issue here. They’ll always be socially awkward to an extend only because they aren’t copying as much as others, rely more on their own judgment and aren’t here to fit in, it’s absolutely normal

[@kimberlycassaday1841]

FINALLY. I was AIG identified at a young age- grew up with a single mom, lived below poverty, very rural area. I was so bored in school- I missed 89 days of school my freshman year of high school. I wound up dropping out. Got my GED before my peers graduated and currently hold the highest GED score recorded in my state (I, uh, am not proud of that...). I started in college but dropped out- I also have ADHD inattentive type, and just lost interest- I too was exceptional with English, History, etc but not so much with math. I had to study for the first time in my life in college level math and Phys- and I just gave up on med school. I still wound up in an $80k/year job, but I have struggled so hard wondering what I could have accomplished had we as a society had the tools to identify these needs I had as a child and nourish the gifted attributes as well as the independent challenges we face. This was a fascinating conversation to watch- and I hope to see this come back up.

[@aliciasavage6801]

My IQ in kindergarten scored 142. I started ditching school in middle school, dropped out in high school. Did end up with addiction problems. Never felt like I fit in the world, like i was an alien or something. Had trouble understanding others, how they could do things they do, how they could believe things that were obviously not true, how they didnt seem to question things or be bothered by things that were, to me at least, clearly not right got so many diagnosis of depression, anxiety, even acute schizophrenia for a time. .

[@slashkeyAI]

Wow. So smart. Ending up with addiction problems. Yeah, smart people get addicted, and feel like they are an alien. Sure, sure. Real smart.

[@somerandomguyonyoutube2278]

​@kosumdohchi7356 you would never understand the struggles of being gifted. The pain of not being understood by others. Trying your best to blend in and make yourself seem dumber. You dont understand pretending to be somebody that you're not just to make friends. You don't understand the amount of nights where we cry for hours as we know we haven't been happy in months and then eventually years. You don't understand how were afraid if beung judged everytine we try to talk to somebody. Gifted kids are only smart academically but are treaded as being smart in all areas. This leads to us haring ourselves for who we are without being able to willingly change who we are. I've seriously considered ending this suffered but i don't because of the pain of the scissors against my stomache. I could see my life fallinh apart as my foundation is unstable. I know that there are people out there that could understand me but i can't find them and i don't know if i would be confident enough to open up to them. It really us a burden to be gifted.

[@tamir8501]

I, as well, withdrew from high school. I was always quite rebellious, needing a strong reason or purpose for doing things. Leaving gave me crucial time to reflect and deeply analyze myself. It was at 17 when I slowly but surely transformed myself into something completely and qualitatively different. Eventually, I developed autopsychotherapy. That said, it took an immense amount of "quiet thought". My sleep formed complete cycles (going to sleep at 4, then 5, then 6...). The transition from what's called unilevel disintegration (what you might be experiencing) to multilevel disintegration is significant. The thing about unilevel disintegration is that you either continue to multilevel disintegration or reintegrate on a lower level. There are many types of distractions and disruptions (like addiction problems) preventing people from such advancement (the vast majority of people reintegrate on a lower level). Kurt Cobian is an example of someone who stayed at that level for too long. Learning about Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration can have an unparalleled effect on your life. Though this is the hardest solution to be given, it is the only solution for positive development.

[@tamir8501]

@@somerandomguyonyoutube2278 @aliciasavage6801 I want to share with you both "Marooned by Pink Floyd". It represents to me the loneliness of giftedness. 💞

[@allisonfalin8854]

This hit home hard. For me, my husband and our three kids. My uncle actually was the lower third, he was an architect who took the exams in the 60s after dropping out of UT. Developed thermal homes and was drug addicted and had massive issues.

[@JiraDiraDoo]

I have a high IQ as well as adhd and autism. The feeling of never being challenged filled me with boredom as a kid.

[@Like2Bike10]

Don't you love the way they danced around the "A" words in this video. They talk about the neurotypical majority but don't say the gifted are often neurodiverse.

[@joneelillard892]

8:49: I'm writing a character like this. The protagonist of my novel is unusually skinny when all of his brothers are... not. Backstory: when he was in elementary school, he was diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication. Side effect is low appetite --> skinny child. The "ADHD" magically disappeared when he got to fifth grade, which is the point at which his elementary school curriculum began to include the basics of chemistry and physics. It enthralled him. In the story, he's 17-18 and a chemistry hobbyist, looking to go to college and grad school for chemistry.

[@autumnm2075]

I have explained my husband to my kids in these terms before, he has an IQ somewhere in the 160's and tends to regard most of the population as "extremely slow". Being 30 points higher than highly intelligent people is a handicap. The boys are all smart gifted unequally math and science, not so in the language arts but at times their father makes them feel not bright, they have the social awkwardness and the vegging out in class that was discussed. I experienced those things as well I test in the 140's, also have a reading disability.

[@sunnygirl87]

Thank goodness you found a significant other who is a match? I've had 2. 1st husband was a drinker and violent. Second has been with me 20 years.

[@InappropriateShorts]

Me in the 130’s feeling “less than” everyone talking about their +140 scores🙄

[@idonthaveaname42]

​​@@InappropriateShortsnce you get to these levels there are diminishing returns and creativity becomes more valuable

[@InappropriateShorts]

@@idonthaveaname42 I’ve heard anything above 120 is a handicap

[@idonthaveaname42]

@@InappropriateShorts its definitely hard to relate to people for me and i would say its even irritating to try. i legitimately feel like im in the Idiocracy movie.

[@tangowhiskygirl]

We have a 4 year old who knows high school biology and can solve puzzles meant for adults. He is treated like a special needs child at preschool where he seems incredibly frustrated and anxious.

[@rockjockchick]

Ya. Maybe pull him out of there? Take him to the library a lot to find fun stuff to learn. Make sure to screen it to make sure it is age appropriate so you don’t damage his mental health. High IQ and mental health are separate, so keep things mentally beneficial. You have a full time job on your hands with this, so prepare for that or pay for help. Find resources and support groups that can help and be willing to drive as far as needed to help him/her connect with friends. It is very challenging for gifted children to find friends and the are crucial to well being. Best of luck! Do a lot of research and try to keep this journey fun! It can he amazing or it can be hell. Usually it’s a bit if both. :)

[@ronv6637]

You have a special problem on your hands, everything is going to be very easy(academically) and finding subject matter will be increasingly difficult. and will be very threatening to society

[@damirhamzic6685]

Thank you! Listing to this and reading some of the comments was extremely emotional. Hope to see more content like this in the future.

[@mysticswalk3086]

I'm a round peg being forced into s square hole. I grew up believing I was stupid. I am only just now beginning to realize how gifted I really am. I'm in my sixties. This is profound.

[@OFFICERMCCOMACK]

I’m 53. I’m the same way.

[@LaurenceDay-d2p]

You were called "stupid" by envious people who hated you for being gifted.

[@harveyhill2186]

With an IQ of 132, I did medium well. What I appreciate are the practical observations you make. Anxiety has always been a challenge. For someone just on the right edge of the IQ marker of 130, I found that the people further up th intellectual scale say 140 and beyond were like people you could see on the horizon doing things you were just smart enough to appreciate but not be able to do yourself. The education system is not usually up to the task. Though in the early 2000s, the Montgomery County school system in Maryland may have been. I found extracurricular programs helped. Socialization with peers was often hell. Anxiety was constant until about my 60s. I was fortunate my wife is remarkable, and I had healthy mentors. The positives were definitely the ability to adapt to new cultures, learn new topics, and conceive possible solutions for challenges. So, all in all, it was a very good interview. I found it gave me a deep empathy for the marginalized.

[@GeckoHiker]

My early school experiences were pretty much horrible until I realized that I could skip school or just sleep through the classes and still get straight A's. One teacher thought I was cheating so she made me take tests in the closet. I still aced her tests and got the extra credit, and I slept better in the closet. I skipped grades and finished high school early. University was like heaven to me. I already had sleeping through lectures down to a science. Just give me three books on a subject with opposing views and a problem statement and I'll invent a solution. Otherwise, let me sleep.

[@slashkeyAI]

Yet you couldn't invent a better idea to make use of that gargantuan brain than sleeping in class. Bravo.

[@jaztamaar4584]

My son acts exactly like that when he's practicing the violin. My friend keeps telling me he's gifted, but he doesn't always perform well in school. I don't know why, but hearing that story gave me so much peace. Thank you 💙

[@rockjockchick]

Einstein and many other gifted people did VERY poorly in regular school situations.

[@Kathleenschweiker]

What’s you’ve discussed is right on the mark. Remarkably gifted children are outliers, with asynchronous development, that the majority of school systems fail to nurture.

[@slashkeyAI]

If they're so smart they could nurture themselves.

[@byhisgrace2brown109]

Eye opening! My son, now 30 was very gifted & intelligent but the school system wanted to label him & asked me to put him on prescription drugs/narcotics!! I pulled him out and homeschooled.

[@rockjockchick]

Good!

[@Kinoons]

Another Zdogg vid where I go “yes, yes, yes” through the entire video. In 4th grade my teacher thought I was learning disabled. Had me tested and I came back gifted. She didn’t believe it and had me tested again. Still gifted. Even then she insisted I go to the “resource room” to work with the delayed children. That lasted 9 weeks before the teacher there said it was a waste of everyone’s time. I never studied in school. Took a midterm drunk and got the highest grade in the class. Also was a social asshole until my mid 30s. And now I see it in my son. An unbelievable sense of right and wrong, everything must be fair, and he’s a perfectionist. Meltdowns if he gets one question wrong on a 20 question homework sheet. Interestingly he also is very kind and helpful to other kids. Hopefully that lasts past 2nd grade. And as an aside, nursing only requires college algebra baby! Calculus is for chumps.

[@majordudette]

Social asshole, lol. I’m 60 and now I tell people I’m socially awkward. That way if I seem rude - they’ve been warned! 🤣

[@bluefamily3937]

Nursing is a great field!

[@macherie1234]

Me, too. Quietly checked out from boredom then placed in lowest groups for math and reading. Until...I broke my leg and decided to do my research paper on how broken bones heal. I wasn't satisfied with the answers until I went to a university library and discovered the biochemical cascades involved. I then was placed into a university enrichment program for high school students. But then...we moved and the new school put me in the middle classes. It took four years to get back into the higher level classes (which weren't called gifted).

[@svenmorgenstern9506]

Heh. Another neuroatypical "gifted" child here. Committed the cardinal sin of being able to read in kindergarten...got called into the principal's office for that one. Placed in the MGM program (gifted students program started in mid-60's IIRC) & thought I was being punished. Bored to tears in school most of the time. Lousy at math, so naturally I went into Computer Science for my first round of college (included Calculus, relevant in a minute). Social misfit on an almost unbelievable level. Still have difficulty interacting with people. Just to make things muddier, independently derived what's now being called the Carbohydrate Insulin Model of obesity based on reading a community college level A&P textbook...and have been an LVN for the past 5 years! 😎

[@InappropriateShorts]

Nah the Calc is keeping me from my degree. I just never learned how to study 😬🤷‍♂

[@escoworld]

"I knew it, see Mom and Dad, gifted AF right here" 😂😂

[@HappyMomma412]

😂😂

[@grayf1491]

I like that he calls some of us twice exceptional! Gifted program with dyslexia and adhd.

[@suzieg8310]

Yes! Love this interview, and all you lovely people in the comments. They wanted to skip me in elementary school, but my parents said no, because "socialization", which is pretty funny-not sure I'm all that socialized to this day. One time in elementary school, I got a high mark for what I had learned and a low mark for effort. It was true, but my father didn't think that was possible (dear man, lol). So yeah, never learned how to work hard (because I didn't have to) until college, and it was hard at that point. I did have one math teacher in middle school who gave extra work, but it was not the least bit punitive. You got to escape going over it again by going to the library and researching something else (I remember the golden section. It was awesome). I asked them for my IQ and they refused to tell me. Hmmm. Can't say I've really made much of myself...And oh- participating in groups, which our society seems to value so highly- Please don't ask me. Things have changed some though. My grandchildren at least get to take AP courses and challenge themselves-in public school! There is hope.

[@carly5376]

Thank you thank you thank you! This lecture describes my son to a T! I wish I had this information when he was younger. I really appreciate what this physician had to say. I also think that his approach of identifying these children at a younger age is really something to consider...particularly for boys who often have a harder time earlier in the educational experience. Very good show! Thank you.

[@SeabassFishbrains]

I have taken both the Stanford-Binet and the Wechsler tests and both came out 130 on the dot but because I'm legally blind, 90% of people assume that I'm stupid because I can't read small text and I miss signs on walls a lot, often people feel betrayed when they find that I'm not an idiot and they're just discriminatory. I don't think that any of my teachers back in my schooling days actually realized that their classes were far below my learning level. Even when I requested large text and told them that by law public schools are required to provide large text on all studying and testing materials at no charge for visually impaired students, they would always refuse to accommodate my needs, insisting that I'd have to pay for the extra paper and ink needed to print any additional copies even though I couldn't even afford new glasses, let alone to pay for materials that were free for every other student. Instead they would force me to study with a tiny magnifying glass that only enlarged about 3 words at a time and gave me massive migraines. I always took forever on tests because of those stupid magnifying glasses so even if my answers were 100% correct, they still assumed I was an idiot who couldn't read properly. When given large text, I can read faster than anyone I've ever met. The whole American public school system is broken AF.

[@jjrat5pack]

OMG, yes on the reading fast! We used to have a "bookmobile" that came around every 2 weeks, since there was no library in our town. You could check out 5 books at a time. By the end of Day Two, I would be through my allotted 5. My mom was letting me read the Reader's Digest condensed books out of desperation. She couldn't keep me in reading materials. 🤓 I love(ed) reading! Also, I always finished first when we had an in-class reading assignment. I remember a teacher asking why I wasn't reading. When I said I'd read it already I was told I must not have done a very good job & to read it again. 😢 I often read ahead in my textbooks bc of this.

[@StayCPain]

My son is 7 and dealing with this. I had to pull him from public school and home school him. Home school has been the place where he was actually tested on his grade level. We are probably going to move him up a year in school, which he should be anyway because he is a fall birthday and is an older kid in his class. He can be shown how to do something once and he has it mastered. He struggles socially and can't let a mistake go without being corrected. This was really interesting to hear.

[@chriscotton4207]

Remember to use as much varied information as possible. Homeschooled kids. Even gifted adults whom were homeschooled have a plethora of holes in their education. Unless you're also exceptionally gifted parents. Remember, your consciousness, your human and IQ were all the same at his age. He is just as smart as he will be at your age. You don't want to limit them to an average understanding because their cognitive abilities may exceed yours. If you're within a deviation I'd assume you're fine.

[@rachelgriffin2992]

That sounds like my now 7 year old son. The school didn’t take me seriously so I decided to homeschool mid 1 at grade. He’s doing 2nd and 3rd grade work at home.

[@monicaluketich6913]

Just found this video - it may be old, but then I'm 67 years old! We had no gifted classes , except in 5th grade, a couple of us could go watch the 6th graders' science class on TV - late 1960s. I did have anxiety problems, and teachers mentioned that I would get the correct answer for math or other subjects, but my logic seemed backward to them! I was "the curve breaker" and was bullied by the other girls. Add to that my mom was a narcissist. So no matter how well my older brother or I did in school, our mom thought it was because of her being the best parent in the world. I ended up with my Ed.D. and worked at some amazing jobs, but I still wonder what more I could have achieved if I had the opportunities students have now.

[@y_e_i8213]

I got my 7 year old son has a hard time getting “good citizen awards” bc he’s too busy. And he cries a lot when he loses, especially when he plays sports. He’s usually the only one angry about a game loss. It’s hard for my husband and I to grasp it, but these videos really help put it into perspective

[@heddy-dalematthias2779]

I skipped 2nd grade. Best thing my parents ever did for me. I cried every morning and laid on the floor, refusing to go to school. I was SO BORED, even after skipping. Most of my teachers gave me "work on the side" and allowed me to "do my own thing, quietly." I always loved school, so I studied for hours, mostly making a game of it. I did well at college, as I already knew how to study. It was the same for medical school. However, I went to a small, rural public school with great teachers. No socialization problems, although some would probably not agree. (Ha ha.)

[@sandykazim9214]

I'd love to see a follow up video on this topic as to how best raise and care for kids who are gifted, especially by those of us who could never afford a specialized academic environment.

[@rockjockchick]

Make sure to be willing to travel to keep important friendships alive. This is crucial for gifted kids as they have a hard time finding people to connect with. Next, try to keep a variety of interesting things to do and learn in their environment. And teach them that failing is ok. That means you are learning. :) There is more of course, but those are the two most important.

[@fidesedquivide3486]

I homeschooled my two kids. They both have IQ at the very end of the bell. The best decision I made because no school was fully accommodating to their needs. Both were gifted young pianists. They both graduated from college before their peers were ready for college. Two of them earned 6 degrees, three each. One MDPhD and one JD. Best decision I made to educate them myself. They suffered none of the drawbacks mentioned by the gifted here .

[@billybobthornton8122]

That’s good to hear! We homeschool ours, and my seven-year-old is in a fourth grade curriculum and reading Tolkien. We can go at our own pace.

[@uncle978]

I skipped the first grade and I was severely bullied and my mother didn’t know how to handle it. Kids are jealous and spiteful and it always hurt me standing out through my giftedness

[@brothernorb8586]

At 50 it's gotten way worse

[@slashkeyAI]

If you are so smart, why didn't you explain to your mother how to handle it? You were so smart, and smarter than her, and all those bullies! You could've just outsmarted them, Einstein!

[@js72634]

I hear you. I relate. And even as an adult people telling me "That's just their stuff". Doesn't really seem to help much. Not with the deep longing to be a part of and to make the human connections that others seem to make so easily

[@joaniecaroon9469]

Wow! Thanks for this. I am now an old lady and never did come to terms with my lack of social intelligence matched with a very high IQ. If I was so smart, why couldn't I learn to clear the table completely when I was a kid? (I got bored, started to imagine myself in whatever story I was reading and just wander away leaving the milk still on the table) In school, I stopped even trying to engage in class discussions, just asking the teacher to repeat the question as that was good enough to get the correct answer. Yeah. That laziness did catch up to me in grad school!

[@hocndoc]

I could have written this.

[@Laudanum-gq3bl]

Same here. I’ve stopped trying to play the social game and now my friends are fellow neuroatypical weirdos. And I’m blessed to work in a department filled with adult gifted kids. We’re all old geeks and it’s great.

[@rockjockchick]

@@Laudanum-gq3bl❤

[@chrissame]

Yeah you just described me😂. I wouldn’t label that social intelligence more like adhd type traits.

[@islandcave8738]

I think there is a tendency for people with high IQ to pursue larger challenges. There is the one guy who described it has they will work on building a mansion while others will build a shack. A mansion of course takes longer to build so they may just lay out the foundation while others build the whole shack in the same time. I feel this analogy is very apt especially for high iq aspies. And if you have adhd too you have the extra problem of starting to build many mansions and leaving them unfinished before starting the next one.

[@lazerith840]

Damn watching this sorta made me think about my life for a min. I was always bored in school I felt like it was pretty simple and a waste of time so I turned to art. I knew I wanted to be a cartoonist by 2nd grade, I was also writing short stories at the time. I started painting statues and creating artwork entirely from imagination without using reference by the time I was 11. I started smoking weed at 12, Dropped out of school at 16 mainly because I didn't care to do homework. My teachers would always ask me why I don't just do the homework because I would pass the test. I started working at 16 and also moved out of my mothers home. Went to prison at 18, got out 21 with a GED high 10% scores. Went to college for 3D animation and my worst grade was a B in photography. Got invited to Pi Beta Kappa for being on Deans list 4 semesters in a row and just ignored it because I thought everything was pretty simple so I figured I wasn't doing anything special. Graduated and had a hard time finding a job doing animation but now I am a Animator, which is what I always wanted to do. I don't think I'm a genius, but I will say I have always noticed a difference between me and other people that really just made me a loner. I always figured I was cursed, now I'm wondering if its because I was gifted.

[@margaretmanz2030]

Sad when gifted kids are made to feel shame and self-hatred. Some kids, not academically gifted, might be better off finding self-esteem and excellence in a skill. We do not seem to value everyone for their innate gifts. No wonder it is so difficult for so many to find meaning in life.

[@juliagamotska182]

I was on the gifted side but my father advised me to blend in socially. I experienced a bit of exclusion but not much. Always tried to be pleasant for my peers. But i am also have a good emotional intelligence score.

[@TimeSurfer206]

"True genius is often indistinguishable from madness, for those not genius."

[@docsquish]

I have 4 kids and one on the way. My oldest son and my oldest girl are very gifted. High anxiety, stubborn, justice seeking, high energy, etc. my youngest boy and youngest girl are the exact opposite; laid back, chill, could careless about things. It’s interesting to see how different each kid can be.

[@rockjockchick]

For sure! Every kid is unique. :)

[@BB-tm3sx]

Took me about 35 years to realize that despite the "promise" of my "gifts", I needed to accept that I am on my own path and I owe NOTHING to anyone based on whatever talent nature saw fit to bestow.

[@kg7464]

As a “gifted” MSII medical student with ADHD, So much of this held very true to my life. Until I was tested for gifted program, my teachers would make me tutor the other students after I finish my assignments so I would pretend that I was sick, go to the nurse, and go home. Our gifted classes begin in fourth grade and transitioned to AP classes in seventh grade through high school. Unfortunately only about 10 to 15 of us are actually doing anything with our lives. So that also holds true with the concept of substance abuse and incarceration. Unfortunately, coming from a very small town in rule New Mexico, I’ve come to learn that this program has lost all funding in the gifted classes will no longer be an option for children. This breaks my heart. I’ve seen so many great minds go to waste just because they’re bored.

[@myamya1782]

My 7yr old is gifted and she fake been sick every day at school.😭😭

[@rockjockchick]

Oh no! 💔

[@rockjockchick]

@@myamya1782ya. Look into other options and resources for her. And take her to the library a lot to check out interesting stuff.

[@1dripy-e5s]

My son is going thru this and it’s so hard to help him. I had no problem with not socializing cause I’m an introvert and I learned to blend at a young age. I was also very fortunate that my teachers noticed and placed me in challenging classes and found ways to keep me entertained when I was done. As an adult I don’t even bother with some people. No matter how I explain it they don’t understand me. What I think is common sense makes no sense to others.

[@DNA350ppm]

If your son is interested in anything with computers, let him do it, programming is so widely and complicatedly branched, that the competition is not that easily visible. Try Linux! Let him also learn a difficult language or two, like Finnish and a native American language. Some branches of biology and astronomy are also endless. These are subjects he can sit and think about when classes are boring. Very important is his physical training, too - try hiking with the family, carrying a packpack and balancing over brooks, and learn geology, botany and birdwatching along the path. Do geocaching, too. I also recommend some practical skills, cooking, fine-mechanics, carpentry, even crocheting (a blanket for grandma), while listening to audiobooks. While hiking my son learned how an abacus functions, just reading a science magazine left behind at a place where we sheltered a rainy night - a few months later he reconstructed the memory and built one in an extracurricular wood-works class. I was so impressed. Praise your son a lot for good reasons - for trying, for stamina, for not giving up, for showing interest, for helping, for being patient. I think competition is the gifted child's worst enemy. Remember to preach that a kind heart is the most valuable human trait, not strength, nor intelligence, and of course not money. But praise all achievements according to an openly declared scale, your value-hierarchy. Teach dance by dancing with him - if possible up in your arms for the rythm. Play fun games, where the reward is a laugh. Laugh every day, kind laughter at nobody's expense. Tickle eachother, make funny faces, stumble upon words, imitate animals, do charades. It is never too late to have a happy childhood - you, the parent, need to have a second happy childhood, too, and you deserve it. Connect without words to other living beings, animas and humans, and if possible have a pet at home for him to care for, one he needs to protect and teach, and patiently love as it is. For both of you I wish all the best - it has turned out fine for my son in the long run, but each time he started a new class he was bullied at first, and we had a long learning processes with that, but it ended well. Our long experiences with hikig were very helpful, because they gave true cause to feel strong and competent when it comes to endurance and survival. Nice encounters on the path helped getting out of out shells. ☺

[@slashkeyAI]

If he can't come up with a way to keep himself entertained, then I guess he's not that smart. Maybe he's just a smug brat.

[@tomcanham9218]

This is why I say I was "diagnosed" with a 173 IQ, Worst. Thing. That ever. Happened to me.

[@nightyew2160]

Do you mean the worst thing was having that IQ or the worst thing was finding out about it?

[@michaelneal8982]

I was always in the gifted programs. Everything always came easy in school. I had bad anxiety and depression because I felt like I was different. However, I started smoking marijuana and it took all of that away. I kept my intellect and all the positive but all the negatives were gone. Still it this day. High paying career, tons of what would be seen as stress, etc. I am super calm and at ease. More people should try it.

[@KanadianRaven]

My childhood friend needed constant tutoring by her mom to keep up, yet she learned the valuable lesson of how to study. I never learned that skill because it was too easy to pass tests in primary levels. When it came to high school, between boredom & no studying, failure was guaranteed. Ultimately I dropped out & have recently found out I have ADHD, the accompanying high anxiety, depression, & emotional retardation. I wish I could go back & kick the shins of every teacher (& that one vice principal!) who said I wasn't living up to my potential. Perhaps if my formative school years hadnt been in the 50's & 60's, but instead this last decade, I might have been set up for success by a system that is more aware. The one positive thing that I have that I notice many of my peers don't have, is curiosity & a drive to learn more constantly. Two sides of the coin... 😕

[@rockjockchick]

The system isn’t really much better now even though there is a lot more research, sad to say.

[@DNA350ppm]

Dear Raven - wow, now be way more rebellious and find out that it's never too late to have a happy childhood, and an adult life that suits you, as an individual, you yourself and nobody else. My goddess, how well you have learned to be OK with being oppressed! Draw huge cartoons of how you vividly kick the shins of all those deserving it (kick hard and precisely, it hurts, I know, I have shinsplints!) - then turn your back to them, escape and laugh all the way to your freedom-projects - I'm already chuckling with you! Raven to the rescue! Start from that blessed curiosity and let yourself be surprised: where might you land (but without drugs and such) - real freedom, healthy and heartfelt challenges only! May you be richly compensated for all you have been deprived of, from the 50's on! Rock Raven, rock - I root for you!

[@babyzorilla]

I would expect that your peers would be curious and driven because your peers would also be gifted.

[@KanadianRaven]

@@babyzorilla at the time, things were different. The only way giftedness was acknowledged was by moving you up a grade, rather than the enriched teaching the gifted get now. I was the only gifted person in my class from gr.4 thru Highschool.

[@ladymystique691]

And when "the high anxiety-gifted" took the IQ test, it is possible their scores will be under 130. Anxiety could be a variable that impact their performance on test.

[@evelynmahoney3569]

MGM, Mentally Gifted Minors, in my day, long before GATE. I can identify with several aspects of nearly every personal experience shared in the comments. In many of them, I detect an 'aloneness' in their struggles growing up. IMO, that in it's self is very relatable, practically the elephant in the room. Nothing like being a minority in your own family, school, neighborhood, and amongst friends & acquaintances during those developmental years when every child's first step to finding themselves, is trying to find out how to fit in. Kinda of scary-vulnerable to put it out there, but . . . Just because we're adults now, doesn't mean the contrast has vanished, albeit wise enough now to be grateful for a little bit of an edge in most areas . . . still, a minority and all that goes with that. 500 - 600 in my elementary school. 5 or 6 kids TOTAL, across K - 6th grade, were in the gifted program. Never knew my IQ, but my parents said the letter they rcvd stated that my test scores were achieved by 1 out of every 100 children tested. Sounds about right given the 5 - 6 kids in the program. I'm blown away finding that there are so many common experiences and yet we were never availed of THAT knowledge, at least speaking for myself. The support network we were deprived of, that could have been, instead of each going it alone. Would've been helpful too if the school knew that trying to teach me Algebra was gonna be met with a brick wall. In high school I took Intro to Algebra 4 times! Spent some pretty hairy (and SCARY) hours with my dad so mad & frustrated that he couldn't see straight too, trying to help me with the homework. Math being brought up in a lot of the comments, thought I'd throw mine in too. Anything to do with English was a breeze; Reading, Writing, Spelling. Hated Science as much as Algebra. Probably because we got them in Jr. High & High School and I'd never "studied" ANYTHING before and didn't know how. There's so much more super engaging stuff in the comments, but THIS comment is WAY too long already. I will say this: I would NEVER have associated anxiety with being gifted, and certainly have never thought of myself as having anxiety. What is it then, that the video & the comments, including my own, like a lifelong weight, that suddenly has lifted and IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY? Forget Gifted and Talented. How about it's just called, "BLESSED." Looking fwd to replies. 🤗

[@elanahammer1076]

Nothing but a curse. My advice is be nice to these kids. They are pegged early often start preschool at two and full immersion in the arts by three. Some do not socialize well and are encouraged to keep up the perfectionism. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸

[@helius2011]

I don't watch TV but follow this channel every day. Thank you for making all these videos! I became a big fan with the doc Vader videos and little did they know at the time that this would become my favourite daily news feed. Thank you!

[@ZDoggMD]

🙌🙌🙌🙏

[@helius2011]

@@ZDoggMD thank you! Your reply made my day!

[@DahliaLegacy]

What's hard is when you're great at more complicated things but something so simple like, for me, spelling trips me up all the time. I love teaching myself new things, but with my odd disability, (It's a non typical language disability.) I get down on myself for not being able to get things that come so easily to some people. Like grade school was a breezy for me when it came to class work, so when I had to spend hours studying how to spell a simple word, when I never really had to study anything else... It really can make you feel like a mental case, not getting it. Like please teach me about wave particle duality so I don't have to think about effect or affect. I was only diagnosed with a disability in college, so I hid it well apparently. XD That and yeah... I didn't have many friends. I also too find being open about it and not hiding it, it helps. It makes me feel less shame in it. Being always a person who prides herself on her brain, sometimes our egos need to heal.

[@pearpo]

For me unfamiliar forms are challenging and divisive. It can be difficult to understand the level at which the question is being asked. That may be the point of forms.

[@stumbling]

So, all of this was because I'm smart? I checked out very early in life and developed anxiety-related disorders. Even returning to education as a mature student in 2014 I struggled mentally, didn't read any of the text books until final year and scraped through my degree with 40% attendance. Only in the past three years have I started working on myself: learning how to keep a journal, joining a gym, forcing myself to overcome social anxiety, etc. I am far better now but still a long way to go. I honestly think KZbin saved my life. I have received absolutely zero guidance with these issues from anyone in my life. They all just accepted my depression and dysfunction as a personality trait or something. I really resent that. There was never anything wrong with me; at least I know that now and can move forwards. I have begun to believe that I will find my proper place in life, and maybe there was even some form of destiny in my taking this path. I have certainly grown to love many people I might otherwise have looked down on from a privileged position in another life. I have a Mensa estimated (not done a full test) IQ of 150. I don't think the numbers are that important, anyone above 130 is going to experience the same social issues, and IQ is only one dimension.

[@jayleeper1512]

I was so bored at school when I was labeled as retarded. Then, In Jr High, they did IQ tests and I scored very high, in the Mensa range. At that point, the teachers seemed intimidated and became very mean and I nearly quit school. I didn’t do well and I didn’t live up to my abilities until my last year when I poured the coals on just to get out. My biggest issue my whole life was dealing with people that just couldn’t seem to get the simplest of concepts so I had to dumb down to get along. Now that I am old, I look back and wish I had the opportunity to pursue my interests. There were lots of reasons for that, not just the educational system. The educational system now is not there to create intelligence but to cookie cutter peoples thinking to be useful to corporations and needs to be changed. Now that the religious right is taking over, it is going in the totally wrong direction and in the future, kids will be dumber than ever.

[@jayleeper1512]

@fI1cker my guess is that you are smarter than you think you are😊

[@OFFICERMCCOMACK]

I always had older or younger friends. Always. I find that interesting that the DR mention this.

[@MountainMaid238]

These perspectives are very old. In New Zealand we recognise that allowing gifted children to stay in the classroom enhances their education. Mixed groupings gives some children the experience to be around higher thinkers, and gifted children learn how to express their ideas to a variety of audiences. It enables leadership and camaraderie and a diverse learning community. It also serves their emotional social needs.

[@concertmasterntl]

Most gifted kids do stay in their classrooms. That’s the problem. It’s an awful experience for the majority of them. But there’s no alternative for most. I hated my school experience and will do anything to spare my kids from repeating it. I enrolled them at a gifted micro-school. It’s homework-free and test-free, and kids work on academics at their own pace while also doing projects together. Gifted kids can’t stay in their typical classrooms any more than intellectually-disabled kids can.

[@MountainMaid238]

@@concertmasterntl That's not how they're doing it in New Zealand. All kids with all abilities or other are in the same class and the lessons are adjusted accordingly depending on need. All kids are accepted for who they are and their whole selves are welcomed and expected in the classroom. I'm talking about primary levels, it's different at high school. They do this for many reasons, some of those reasons being that teaches all students that they are a valued human beings not only for what they can do but for who you are, and to teach them young how to relate, work and play with people unlike themselves. Nourishing their social-emotional needs as well. It seems counter intuitive to have mixed groupings but apparently the research shows this works, with a lot of effort and support from the teacher.

[@concertmasterntl]

@@MountainMaid238 the question is for WHOM does it work? Yes, it works for the 95% of kids in the middle of the IQ range. And maybe it works fir a few who are below that but benefit from their more typical peers. But it does not work best for gifted kids, who are simply given more work to keep them quiet. Gifted kids do not want more work. A 10 year old doing college or graduate level math cannot be served in that classroom. It is impossible. And the 11 year old who needs 12th grade English isn’t going to get that either. The average kids benefit from the gifted kids, but the gifted are not benefitting from the average. There is plenty of research showing this. My brother and I had to get pulled out to take certain college subjects stating at the ages of 10 and 11.

[@nneichan9353]

No. High IQ is or can be a curse. I was tested twice and registered as 168 and then 160. This was in the 1960s. They put me in talented and gifted program. but didn't help with how to learn in a way I could do well. Just took us to ballets and operas. All my life I felt like I was bored and not interested. I read books like they were the answer to everything I know I've read thousands of books on many subjects. I had dyslexia, but figured out how to compensate for it by myself. I was ridiculed by other kids for breaking the curve all through high school, the only reason I passed was I scored so high on tests, but I usually forgot to do homework. I was called non reactive. I just never was helped in the precollege system. I rarely understood math, but every time I took a class I'd ace it, but couldn't remember it for the next class. I did much better in college. Now being elderly, I feel like I never accomplished what I was expected to. Doctors I worked with often asked me why I didn't go to Medical School, but I never could concentrate enough to pass a goal like that. I got through nursing school by memorizing the texts, and could tell you what page and which paragraph each bit of info was on. As an older person I was finally diagnosed as Autistic, depressed and have crippling anxiety. I can hardly stand to step out of my apartment. I never tell people about this. I don't know why I'm telling you.

[@rayspencer5025]

Due to an accident and possible head trauma, my IQ was tested 3 times while in the hospital for 2 broken femurs. My scores were 136,148, and 156 (not in order). The lower score is likely due to my inherently slow reading (I visualize everything as I am reading) and my tendency to "bring in" my experience and other knowledge when answering the questions. The high score was on visualization and mental manipulation ("look at this flat drawing and choose the answer that represents it as a 3D object" type questions). I slmost got kicked out of High school because I skipped so much (I refused to go to nude swim in gym), and my grades were very good, especially considering I did almost none of the homework.

[@robertharvilla4881]

I've concluded that being high IQ correlates much higher with mental illness than anything. When the higher anxiety plagues them in the limiting normal school setting, they become very hostile and depressed when shackled by such drudgery. First I was given Ritalin and my dad said it turned me into a drooling zombie, and then they tested me and put me into gifted class. Only trouble was it was conditional on my good conduct in my other classes. I didn't last more than a couple of months because all throughout middle school the principal would go easy on me if I wasn't sent to him for at least a week. I never really got detention because they probably knew it would have made things worse. So for better or maybe worse I got more corporal punishment than anything. That was the only thing I actually feared. But when I got to high school I didn't get in trouble but just coasted through the first semester. My favorite class was Spanish, and by my second year I was all but fluent. I then started putting in the schoolwork, more or less. I barely did the homework and never had to really study, but I could always get a good grade in the class because I nailed the tests. My poor study habits doomed my college career so I dropped out and joined the USAF. Since then, I have been diagnosed as bipolar, but I'm wondering if I might be more ADHD than anything. I can focus when I want to, but I don't really get very depressed. I just get lethargic and not wanting to do even my favorite things. As for the manic side, I only get insomnia for a couple days and have more energy for a couple days.

[@indyd9322]

Thank you for sharing this. It explains so much.

[@islandmonusvi]

Identified as Gifted @age 4…read LA Times everyday beginning @age 8…avg. I.Q. 155…had mentors & tutoring throughout elementary school…youngest participant @Edwards AFB>X-15 Project…Member of the Turtle Club @age 19… attended multiple Universities…consummate lifelong speed Reader …always studying…speak multiple languages… spent decades meditating, diving, and swimming off shore where I could focus on cross-species communications. Life is a real trip…the adventures never cease to amaze…living within the Quantum is filled with endless possibilities…

[@ErikaEmody]

Listening to this makes my heart all anxious.... like it's a flashback.... I still ABSOLUTELY struggle with perfectionism, to the point where I will flip over to the other side and "Well I just don't give a shit if it's perfect or not. It's 'good enough'." GOOD ENOUGH? Blasphemy. I'm still super anxious about getting into new things I know I can't do well even when I don't have an audience to approve or disapprove of my performance. -- I was the kid who could do EVERYTHING exceptionally, except of course for gym class. haha! And the anxiety and depression, absolutely - - I have been on SSRI/SSNI for 15 years, and at this point, can I ever get off of them? Might things have been different if people actually recognized the need for mental health for kids in the 80s'? Anyway, thank you for this (3 years later). It helps to be seen, even in hindsight.

[@ashh1371]

I was in the gifted program at my school. I’m now a chemistry teacher. One boy in there with me is now a famous musician. One girl is now a semi-famous photographer. There’s a few that have ‘normal’ jobs like me but mostly the rest of them work on/off in minimum wage jobs or they are in prison or dead.

[@BoltCRNA]

[Insert comment here about how I'm totes gifted and this Peds MD totally gets me]

[@janebrowne9964]

Thank you so much for talking about this! Finding hard to address our daughters needs but to keep her a child at the same time.

[@nightyew2160]

Yeah, it was hard to find things at the right reading level that didn't get into more mature topics.

[@rockjockchick]

@@nightyew2160ya. Try to stick to more stuff like microbiomes, medical stuff that’s not gruesome, chemistry, physics stuff -things that are interesting and can get advanced without getting gory, existential, or political

[@gsracer9072]

I have incurred a lot of problems as a result of my IQ 134 or so. I struggle to identify with my peers and feel ostracized at times. School, especially elementary and middle school were horrible for me. I was constantly bored and developed a horrible work ethic that still plagues me to this day. Despite high school being very easy for me, the work ethic or the lack thereof held me back as I actively resisted and turned down many opportunities that were floated my way. Similarly, despite tests being a joke, I was unwilling to do the "busywork" that I deemed to be irrelevant and as a result, my grades did not reflect my genetic propensity. I would agree with the anxiety aspect as well. There needs to be a better system especially in the developmental years where kids can move up and learn according to their abilities rather than being limited by their grade level.

[@gsracer9072]

Something I left out. my EQ is rather low. I tend to struggle with social boundaries. As a result, I will blatantly disregard other peoples feelings and just tell them what I think. As you would imagine this is quite off-putting to my peers and so I tend to only be able to relate to fellow gifted students.

[@ewstaeger]

I feel you man, my work ethic is fucking horrible because I didn't have to try for the first 12 years of school. The issues you have mirror my own in an almost scary fashion (despite my IQ being... well once you get past a certain point a point is a big deviation and mine is considerably lower than yours but above the average)

[@nightyew2160]

I like the Accelerated Reader program that some schools are using these days, because kids can check out books at whatever their own recommended reading level is. A class can have a variety of reading levels, but everyone has their own books and everyone is encouraged to spend time reading. I also like that there are educational computer programs now that can pace themselves according to the user's needs. I have seen ones for math and reading comprehension. Some play like games and hopefully make learning a bit more fun, too.

[@shroomyk]

So many good points in this video. I feel validated but also so sad for myself. I wonder how different my life would be if I had learned how to overcome perfectionism, and if I hadn't been completely emotionally neglected growing up.

[@pearpo]

Gifted children aren’t suffering as bad if their parents are both advocates for them and their experience but also realistic and tell them about how dumb the world can be and how it is difficult to even fathom sometimes.

[@pearpo]

Unfortunately many gifted children’s own parents gaslight them.

[@TRAVIESO_NA]

I begged my parents to send me to a special school in my teens I knew it would be good for me. The challenge of it. My dad had the money but didn’t want to spend it on school 🏫 high school that cost 35k a year in the early 2000s was like 80k in 2024.

[@newdawnfoundation5237]

The "gifted" people I knew had family problems and grew up to be very unexceptional. "Gifted" is a total misnomer.

[@pablocirclecali]

this is such a good conversation thank you guys

[@CashlessCaptures]

The ending was beautiful :') "You're a nerd. And you need to be stopped."

[@poolman20001]

My comment is late here, but I need advice. But a short story first so you understand. I am 47, and pretty sure I was gifted. In kindergarten, they took me out during reading and put me in class with the 5th graders. It was maybe 2 hours a day, and I started school early, age 4. But, I was tormented! And by 6th grade, I could not handle school anymore and dropped out… also been to jail many times, prison twice. 20s for me were hell. I have had 3 children. Two are grown. They both were pretty smart, As and Bs. But also my youngest is 3. My 3 years old is gifted! Different then my other two. His mother is Chinese, and she is crazy smart too. Multilingual and several degrees type of women. We currently live in China, and I am an English teacher here in China. He is less then 3.5 years old, and he is just now has learned how to read. But of course, he is also multilingual. However. He gets very opinionated. He will argue and hold his ground and get emotional, and unreasonable often. He is OBSESSED with his mother. If they are separated, he sometimes crakes and says her name over and over for an hour. We cannot watch certain shows or movies because they will upset him. It’s always the ones about loosing your Mom or Dad. Lion King, Finding Nemo. He cannot watch past the part where the parents die. He will get absurdly upset! Crying, yelling. I’m here searching about it now because today I was left with him all day. It’s a Sunday, and his Mom has special work to do. For freaken 2 hours he cried, yelled, screamed and said her name probably 150 times before he finally fell asleep. If he asked me to help out something on, like shorts. If I don’t do it, he will take it as far as he can. Crying, and yelling. He gets board real quick with things. I own an English training center here, and have taught many kids. He likes going to class, so I let him. He is as smart as a normal gifted 7 year old. So I will sometimes have him in that age class. But I won’t push him, and till have him leave when he acts out! I knew he was gifted when he spelled “Blippi” right when he turned 3. I never taught him that. I’m a good father. Never spank, always strict, that sort of thing. And being gifted myself, I understand some things he is going through. He will probably be reading like I was in another 6 months. But I’m desperate, because I failed myself over being gifted. I don’t know If I should constantly get mad at him, constantly try and control him. It do I need to back off work and let him be a little wild. Today was the first day I grew impatient of him. Also, how can I help grow his abilities? Should I teach math using an Abaccus? I read this is a good idea. They can learn how to visualize the abacus in their minds and calculate with with the image and without actually having an Abaccus. Thoughts on that? Any help form anyone please!