Chinese Boyfriends: Dating in China Vs America

I go on a date with Jerry, a China-raised US-educated 帅哥 (handsome guy) to hear about his experiences of dating in China versus America, and why Chinese boyfriends go the extra mile.
#dating #china
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MIXED UP is a series of vlogs and interviews about Chinese culture and mixed race experience, created by wasian actor Yulan Jack (fka Stephanie). www.yulanjack.com/

[@Ari-si8dg]

Hope Jerry can find someone who thinks he's attractive but not the first Asian man they've found attractive 👍

[@yulanjack]

he for sureeee will :)

[@jenni5104]

He's beautiful.

[@user-pd9ju5dk5s]

@@yulanjack what's the song at 0:21?

[@elizabethlee9714]

Jerry~ so handsome!

[@Ms.Divine2024]

Ikr so true

[@emeli_d]

Lmao I’ve noticed that perfect husband thing in my boyfriend, like sometimes he will do one household chore and act like he expects a trophy but for me it’s like of course you are going to do stuff around the house?? You’re not a tiny child?? But I feel like our relationship mostly follows western standards like he won’t carry my bag unless I ask him to, he has no issue with me paying for him etc. idk why though 🤔 but I feel more comfortable that way so lucky me anyway.

[@yulanjack]

hi, thanks for your feedback! always interesting to hear about the couples' real life dynamics and what people relate to in the video! :)

[@samy8897]

Best part of this video is all the douyin pop ups lol hilarious also why is this guy not your boyfriend? 😂

[@SandraSoll]

That’s a very handsome man

[@chaizan9733]

Your hair is gorgeous bb!! 💞💞💞

[@madelinebrennan9636]

i have to say--maybe it's me--but i've always found asian men very attractive; the most attractive males, actually. maybe part of it is the respect for intelligence, reserve, and humility, coupled with physiques that are very nice without being bloated either with excess musculature or excess weight (i realize that i'm generalizing greatly here). and i think the angles of their facial features are very sexy (again, generalizing) so it's weird that somehow i missed the common stereotype in america apparently.

[@100xfun5]

Me too. :з But who knows, maybe it's cause I watched a lot Chinese tvshows. 😂

[@katherine258]

Whats Jerry's Instagram? he is very attractive

[@austin6876]

This was such interesting and insightful interview! I'm loving the series so far, keep it up Steph !👍I grew up only speaking English so I'm also working on becoming more fluent in Mandarin to visit relatives in China some day 🙂

[@yulanjack]

Hi Austin! Thanks so much, it's really encouraging to receive feedback like this. That's fantastic, keep it up! :)

[@刘泽立]

现在来中国了吗，中文一直都挺难学的 说实话

[@lc4jlc4j]

I also got that a lot in the US as well, "you're the first asian guy I found attractive." Or, where are you from? It never bothered me though. I always took it as a compliment and if they were cute, just start chatting with them. Now it's probably true it probably meant they weren't exactly super sophisticated nor world travelers, but if a cute girl expresses interest, find out more! Hahahaha

[@sarahly249]

Asian men are so fine, I don’t know what’s wrong with people haha

[@ladyseshiiria]

Quite honestly what I find attractive in the Eastern cultures in general is their attitudes on respect over all. I find their mannerisms quite charming and I wish Americans weren't so buttholish or rude. I can see why after researching the different world cultures why people feel that way and stereotype us. You can be loud and fun and not rude, always a time an a place. But even a lot of cultures have an attitude towards being more meek and less rowdy for many reasons.

[@杨林与]

yes you are right, as a chinese man i relate it, i am interesting about you, may i have your contact？

[@kaylee6535]

omg love all the douyin videos ahahah

[@lc4jlc4j]

Wow look who I found online! Hope youre doing well Steph!! I would add that while chinese guys in general are very good at taking care of their gfs' physical comfort, they are very bad at meeting their emotional needs. I'll add something more controversial, which is a lot of chinese women don't even care, or aren't mature enough to realize their emotional well being is just as important as their physical and economic well being. Well, they don't realize it until they're in a loveless marriage with a kid in the mix. In general I see chinese men and women are very concerned about their physical and financial condition,, and very clueless about their emotional well being.

[@yulanjack]

Lee!!! What took you so long haha. Welcome to the conversation :) Hope you're well too.

[@corinneliu]

this was super interesting especially as an australian born chinese!

[@imeldafani]

4:29 dayumn why does he look like my ex-crush

[@TheEarlofZerces]

This was really interesting! :D I know in Japan Korean men are the most common foreign husband material (though you don't see much media representation), because they're seen as more romantic than Japanese men but more dependable than Western men, but Chinese husbands are less common than American ones. But this was really interesting to me because the good qualities of Chinese men that you discuss are ascribed to Americans in Japan. I know Filipina and Chinese wives are popular in Japan, but for the same reason that Asian women are "popular" in America. If you look at media representation and how people talk about them, there's an underlying viewpoint of what Karen Kelsky describes as "weak women", i.e. a lot of men who pursue these women do so because they feel a need to re-assert their masculinity. You see this with a lot of White men in Japan too, so maybe the lack of Chinese husbands is due to the dominant social narrative emasculating them? Like, how Jerry talks about American women who were surprised at being attracted to him, because the dominant social narrative here is still of Asian men being unmanly (because God forbid you prove your own ability without tearing others down)? But then why not Korean men as well? There's way more bad blood between them and Japan. Sorry, I don't expect you to have all the answers to this, but I think it's all so cool! I mean, think about it, so much of WGS Studies still operates under White, Western cultural norms. There's not that much examining WGS from other perspectives, and that's a shame. P.S. I'm operating under "A Look at International Marriage in Japan" at Nippon.com and "Women on the Verge" by Karen Kelsky. So if you know other works with wildly different perspectives or conclusions, I would love to read them.

[@yulanjack]

Wow very interesting thoughts. I need to read more around this subject myself, I’ll take a look at what you recommended. This is an ongoing dialogue for sure. I have another interview similar to this coming out hopefully in the next few weeks.

[@TheEarlofZerces]

@@yulanjack Ooh, awesome! Looking forward to that then. :) I recently read Rosalind S. Chou's "Asian American Sexual Politics". It didn't necessarily cover any new ground, and it's from a specifically American perspective (so Asian-Canadians, Asian-Australians, etc. might disagree on some points for all I know), but it was worth reading.

[@vanavana593]

哈哈哈 as Chinese who been in the US from undergrad to grad school, I think his opinion toward what Chinese girl like are quite biased, don’t buy that. Chinese are really diverse, girls from different regions also have very different preferences. He is not attractive for Chinese girl is mostly because his attitude toward Chinese girl aren’t that nice and respectful. So many women I know like tan and masculine men in China, so please don’t buy what he said about Chinese girl, I feel offended by his biased comments.

[@potatopotatoeOG]

@prot oss i feel you. What I feel to be causing his point view for me seems to be how y'all are being portrayed and generalised. And his own experiences. Media is fucked up.

[@vanavana593]

@prot oss where you get your data from may I ask?

[@vanavana593]

@Amy Zou yep, no sure if his future girlfriend watch this video how she might feel if she is Chinese.

[@liaaaaaaaah]

I think you’re kinda biased toward Jerry😂 He never once in this video said Chinese girl are not into him because he’s tanned/masculine. He just mentioned the pop culture is shaping girl’s ideal type at some extend. And that mainstream ideal type is not him. Me too a Chinese and I can’t really deny that

[@liaaaaaaaah]

I do think this interview is not sincere enough tho. It’s almost 2021, they should think deeper if they wish to talk about culture difference.

[@Vankim789]

Hey ! I'm a hapa as well (french/vietnamese) and I'd like to say I really support your youtube channel :D However, I was wondering if you could address another question in the future : the problem of white worshipping in Asian countries. For instance, I've seen so many times Vietnamese inherently believe white people were somehow superior to them due to colonization and internalized racism. This huge problem is directly linked to what you guys were trying to discuss in this episode 7 which is the emasculation of asian men. Good luck for the future and keep on going !!!

[@yulanjack]

Hi San! Thanks so much! Yes this is a really complex and problematic issue and I would definitely be interested in talking about white worshipping in Asia in a future episode. Thanks for the feedback, hope you'll keep following the series! :)

[@vivian4180]

Guys help get a chinese boyfriend

[@Zgrmws]

I am here

[@arishem555]

this is wild how he came to US around 16 and he doesn't speak Chinglish. Chinese people are quite literally hard working people.

[@chalsonzhou8383]

Loved this. Did you find out why people were taking pictures of y'all?

[@yulanjack]

haha no, but it seems to happen to me quite a lot and i can only imagine it's because i'm mixed?!

[@ChinaUncleMikey]

its because they are talking in a different language😂 but not Chinese. Once they talk Chinese, these auntys and uncles lose interests then

[@andia968]

@@ChinaUncleMikey 38 years since i first visited china and people curiosity is still there. I visited china when i was a little boy with my family. we were like celebrity because I speak foreign language to my parents

[@samy8897]

Stephanie Jack it might be cuz you look like gal gadot lol

[@pam3122]

Part 2, he's cute 🥰🥰

[@olin3indalian809]

I thought u were dating..You guys look cute together ♥️

[@meenumahajan5828]

Was searching about china culture n stuff..watched ur channel..really interesting..👌

[@yulanjack]

So glad you think so! Thanks for watching!

[@way2girly]

They are both so cute 🥰

[@charensheng12568]

It so weird for daring couple to say I love you to each other, yet they say I love you to their gym friends. And of course family say it to each other all the time. They feel obligated to say I love you at the end of phone calls. Annoying

[@AnaLauraenTodas]

Very cool video ! I have a friend that might be interested on this chinese guy ;)

[@yulanjack]

Heheee :) thank you

[@markshao3901]

Bec he is handsome. Every Asian will love him.😄😄😁😁

[@bamboodeluxe6019]

Shanghainese, instersting word to use, Tielingnese,stupidese.

[@anamaia5696]

I'm 1 year late but omg who is this man? His voice...

[@williamknopic7915]

Most Chinese women I've met lack feelings. And have told them I'm willing to be a friend but nothing more. Simply because I won't sacrifice my true interests. Have known that no one will treat me as well as I do because no one knows me like I do. A lone wolf. Am comfortable, content and happy with myself. And am definitely one of a kind. Am noted and respected for that and won't change for anyone. Everything in this world is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Not even the best of readerships. You've never seen a hurse pull a uhaul, and never will. It's all just for the moment. I've came into this world without anyone or anything and I will leave the same way. So will you.

[@ilvostrocarodextereal]

They only care about money. They are empty inside

[@BAn-mu4qe]

Oh, my goodness. He is soooooo handsome!!!!

[@MariannaSovic]

Sweet guy!

[@katherinefields250]

Hi Stephanie! Great movie! I'm 36 and single. Now...where can I meet these cuties????? Tell me. ;-))).

[@cfz1988]

Did the video shot in the “1933 old factory”？

[@yulanjack]

yes!!

[@cfz1988]

@@yulanjack Used to hang out there a few time, no wonder seems familiar. Lol

[@kazimierzowczarek6602]

'xiao gege' I would translate as little prince (loanword from Manchu, used in the Qing Dynasty)

[@ladyseshiiria]

Hmm I wonder as these girls mature if Xiao gege goes away similar to Americans with Edge lord's. Lol 😂😆

[@timyunsi]

Whiskey this guy talking about? Complete nonsense......

[@BrianWilliamDoty]

I think American culture and Chinese culture have a lot to go and if we can integrate Chinese culture and the United States of America I think we can do very good business together

[@yulanjack]

There's definitely a lot both cultures can learn from each other. Thanks for the comment :)

[@CristopherCal]

Being a Chinese, I have the same feeling. However I feel more sense of belonging to western values and culture maybe because I lived in Canada for 4 year and my family are all open-minded. Chinese society has nearly no tolerance for being gay, so sad...

[@tairanwang6119]

@@CristopherCal It change now, of course government will not promote it, but being homosexuals in china is getting better

[@Ulzannghome]

Let me book a flight

[@FM-uf1pm]

Nice vlog... pls continue

[@yulanjack]

thank youu! i appreciate it

[@stansmith303]

哈哈，有意思，就喜欢看这些友邦惊诧的视频

[@yulanjack]

谢谢，我很高兴你觉得我的视频有意思！

[@Tara-vh7md]

What sons is playing in the beginning??

[@luisfelipecorrea4219]

Pretty cool guy

[@user-pd9ju5dk5s]

whats the beginning song??

[@संजीवनी-झ3ट]

Wow so handsome boy

[@adri4277]

thank you

[@unibrittworld1]

It's the Western media,for example,African Americans are generally put on a positive pedestal,while the E.Asians are generally given a negative pedestal!

[@peterhuang3393]

These days who cares about western media,they all know it is bias and racist,but in real life there are lots of white women who is attractive to lots of good looking east asian men and their culture,anyway the truth of the matter is east asian men always plan to marry their own race and never intend to marry any foreigners

[@chukim8012]

So true

[@ruki4585]

Hi

[@laurafff8381]

can anyone give me a link to 3:40 video???

[@yulanjack]

Hi! I have left the creator’s Douyin usernames on the videos (in the left hand corner) so if you are able to download the Douyin app and search for the username that’s probably the easiest way to find this video. In this case, you’ll only need to type in the last part “Zuazua” and you’ll find this user and then you can scroll down to find the specific video. Douyin is the Chinese version of TikTok, not sure if you can search for this specific user via the TikTok app or not, but you could also try it. Hope that helps!

[@laurafff8381]

@@yulanjack oky thank you you're an angel😊Also loved this video❤️❤️❤️

[@yulanjack]

@@laurafff8381 no worries, and I'm so glad you liked it!

[@anaesquivel9315]

Song @ 2:32?!?!

[@yulanjack]

Hi! The name of the song should be written in the text in the left hand corner of the video. It may be in Chinese which is a little unhelpful if you can’t read a Chinese characters, sorry! My chinese also isn’t good enough to make sense of what they’ve written there as the soundtrack for that particular Douyin video... Maybe someone else can recognise the song?!

[@anaesquivel9315]

@@yulanjack thank you!!!!

[@rmsfakelaugh8164]

I’m sure you’ve found it by now haha. The original version is “Brown Eyes” by Destinys Child and this seems to be a remake that’s is popular here in China, I hear it all the time. So. Would just search Chinese version of DC Brown Eyes

[@MadawaskaObservatory]

actually chinese women complain a lot about boyfriends cheating on them :(

[@yulanjack]

Doesn't apply to everyone, but yes I have also heard this :( Maybe something to explore in a future episode...

[@tonyrogers5469]

Actually the rate of chinese women cheating on their partners are going up like 90 degrees.