SKRONG & INDEPENDENT: Have you become The MAN of your Own Dreams?

[@justjules2029]

The question no one answers is how does a sahm protect herself economically? What happens if you put yourself and your children at risk and it goes left? What happens if a husband decides to leave and there’s a financial burden on the mom/wife now? Many sahm’s fall into poverty after divorce or might lose their kids to the financial stable father. The boss woman has a point In saying to be independent in order to protect yourself and your children from abuse, neglect or abandonment. It’s like women are on two extremes and there’s no moderate, reasonable and doable solutions so that women truly have the hard won options of the feminist movement. 😞

[@TheNewFeminine]

Well what happens when a Masculina dies an unmarried Old Maid Surrounded by her Cats or her Hollow Trinkets? What happens when a single woman is always so Stressed about her basic financial survival that it keeps her in her Masculine for a Lifetime? Contrary to the fictional narrative online, Not all Single Women are RICH FABULOUS AUNTIES. Many Single Women are FINANCIALLY STRUGGLING and living check to check without a man. What happens when she's found rotting dead alone in her home after decades of boasting about being happily Single and not needing anyone? What happens when the Masculina allows her ENVY and Jealousy of Happily Married Women to basically Eat her Alive? What happens when the Masculina cries herself to sleep at night because she's basically a depressed woman who has an EMPTY life? What happens to the aging successful Boss Chick who drowns herself in alchohol, anti-depressants, negativity and over-eating because she has no one in her life that truly CARES? Misfortune can happen to ANYONE, Married or Single. ABUSE can happen to anyone: Married or Single. This is not a Foot Race to see who’s BETTER.The Doom and Gloom WHATABOUTISM, the fear MONGERING and the PERFORMATIVE CONCERN can go both ways. Just Sayin.📍

[@orevaonaemor3865]

Be an independent kept woman.

[@karzymimi42]

@@orevaonaemor3865It’s really that simple.

[@MwtcultureisSHE]

As a stay-at-home mom that is black I always get so annoyed when women start projecting this nonsense on us, it comes from a poverty mindset. Honey, this is 2024, we stay at home moms make more money just filming doing day to day things like shopping at home goods then we ever did at our corporate jobs. The answer is, we made sure our husbands are taken care of and are secure in their careers, we take care of the kids and create systems around it to have time for ourselves and we create our own schedule that allows us to create any business we want for income without the pressure of “making money”to survive”. There are also prenups and post nups to secure legal agreement for you and your children to avoid what you mentioned. No other race of women start saying things like you've said here, Becky is literally creating her best life all over here in youtube baking cookies, decorating each room for every holiday, smiling from ear to ear in her 7000sqft home. And the best part about it is, if you have a masculine man, whatever you bring in, he gonna make sure he laps it which you also benefit from without taking anything from your pot. Tap in girl lol And, Chloe you are HILARIOUS to pin this 😂😂

[@elledoll1410]

@@TheNewFeminine What if a woman wants to die surrounded by cats and trinkets? You are using a fear mongering tactic, because many women do fear this especially when its constantly shoved down their throats by influencers and KZbinrs, like you, by both men and women, and will jump into bad relationships simply to not have the possibility of this occurring in their future? What if her husband dies before her, or worse her child, will she not still die alone? You cannot be so cruel as to want your loved ones to see you dying, gasping for breath, it will cause them more pain thank you think. Not all single women are in their masculine, and not all married women are in their feminine. Just like there are both happily and unhappily married women, I have met many a married women who still felt empty though they had a husband and kids, but I also met happy ones. All I will say, is be financially independent, be you married or unmarried, whether masculine or feminine, because life can go in many different, unexpected paths.

[@alaerelifestyle]

"the family is the future" such a powerful statement. I was raised by a Nigerian stay-at-home mom who was at every PTA meeting, all up in my business in high school making sure I was conducting myself properly and I'm so grateful. People downplay the importance of stay-at-home wives/mothers but they often raise amazing children who contribute kindness and love to society. It's a worthy aspiration in my book 💗

[@CCCC-fp5gw]

I love that statement...this singular, me-first society is part of the problem. The family is the future that includes our boys and girls. I get the point behind the tshirts "women are the future) to empower, embolden women because at some point they couldn't vote or open Bank accounts etc..now in 2024, we know both genders have always worked extremely hard to love, protect, and provide. And we need both to survive and thrive

[@F3f3333]

Exactly, I will stay home and raise my sons to be men! Work with on their emotions and let them see a man doing it and it might not be all great all the time but your dad did it

[@Cat-sx6ep]

I had the opposite my was a stay at home with issues that went on for years until I grew up and made silly mistakes. A healthy parent is needed more than ever ! whether a stay at home or working.

[@mistery2055]

I like this statemenr, but is missing all that thanks to my providong dad

[@F3f3333]

I am working on my master's. I am a stay-at-home wife, lol. I'm in the parking lot drinking my soup, listening to this! I have no friends. You are spot on; they all hate me

[@VirgosGroove3]

Sorry to hear that. 😩

[@VerleanHurd]

You will find your tribe. Btw, the ones that hate on you don't hate you. They hate what you represent, and what they'll never have. Blessings to you.♥️

[@charmaineespeut4627]

Even other stay at home mothers? Usually other stay at home moms are friendlier.

[@VerleanHurd]

@@charmaineespeut4627 Depends on their living situation.

[@ivoriangodess1]

Your village shall come, sis❤

[@moniquew3603]

I was just talking to a group of black moms a few days ago that was trying to encourage me to put my baby (7mo) in childcare so I can go back to work, and focus on my career. The fear mongering was on a 10000×. On the other hand, these women also had 2-3 jobs, 2-3 kids, a husband/baby daddy, and expressed how TIRED they were! Side note: I'm sorry, but I'm not working that hard if I have a man in my life. These women were exactly 10 years older than me, so 43yo working hard like a mule. I dont believe women are wired to work as hard as men do. Im happy I'm able to be a SAHM now, but I wasn't always like this because I, too, feared people would judge me and call me lazy. My husband goes to work and works hard to provide. I stay at home with our two youngest children and work hard to love, feed, and nurture them all day. Its working well for us!😅

[@matildamaher1505]

That's wonderful. And yes taking care of your children is the first priority. .

[@Mrs.704]

A lot of these daycares are notorious for mistreating children. Women pretty much tell on themselves how they prioritize motherhood by allowing strangers to watch their children.

[@malikawilson7071]

@moniquew3603 Love this for you!!!!!!!!

[@LadyCharity]

This is all facts. I want to be a stay-at-home wife and should NOT be shamed for that.

[@munequa81]

I wish you success in finding a loving, respectful, sexy provider husband!

[@malikawilson7071]

@moniquew3603 Me too sis! And I love that for us!

[@zGrimFuL]

Now you wanna stay at home? What happened to strong independence?

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

​@@zGrimFuL Every woman isn't a man hating, bra burning radical feminist.

[@ChiChiGlamShop]

@@zGrimFuLwhy are you here?

[@munequa81]

I was a stay at home fiancé right before lockdown to focus on my mental health and heal from burnout. I'm now a stay at home wife and I love it. I have the choice whether to work or not and I love taking care of myself, my home and my life, passive aggressive comments and shade be damned.

[@tsc094]

Took a break from healthcare after working without break for 7 yrs, while supporting myself through graduate school and being the extended bank for family members. I was immediately treated differently by colleagues and even close friends, as if I were wrong to choose my mental and physical health over a dollar

[@ColdDiva]

I desperately need rest too after many years in post grad school and healthcare. It seems that I receive such draining digs and snarky comments from “loved ones” when I carve time to myself. I am ready to go radio silent on everyone in order to protect my needed peace.

[@Ninab-adam]

Good choice 👍

[@F3f3333]

Girl choose yourself always!!! Mental health first

[@glossbaus2128]

This! I work in healthcare too. People get mad or jealous when they know when I took months off work to go on vacation or left to a better work environment. It was crazy

[@heymisswest]

I work part time and focus on being pretty... That's all I got! I'm not interested in hustling at all!

[@oohno1000]

I’ve been telling ppl this for years ❤❤❤❤

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

​@@Mya-sui It's like beating a dead horse by spouting this; I'm sure she's fully aware of this as a BW. Having our own money is literally the ONLY thing that's taught to us and It still hasn't made us more successful in relationships collectively.

[@elizabethpieters7798]

You go girl and you are very pretty. No I'm not lesbian. 😅

[@malikawilson7071]

A lot of us didn’t have feminine mothers or women so this is life changing. My focus being 33 and single is now on my business and to become a stay at home wife and possible mother. I like thriving in my femininity a lot better! 💅🏾

[@malikawilson7071]

@jhem2616 And I love that for us!

[@13ikea]

Me too. I’ve done my inner work 2019-2023. I’m ready

[@reallifeexperienceforwomen461]

Not going to lie. I had a friend, she met a guy and he quickly dated her & proposed in 5 months. Before my friend met this man, her ex also took care of her. She never worked. I secretly felt a type of way because here I am, been working since 16 and have had on & off success in relationships with bums to say the least. As I keep running into 50/50 warriors, I realize I felt a type of way towards my friend because she lived the life I desired. I don’t want to work forever. I want to quit my job & have a baby. Seeing her life definitely woke me up as well as this channel, so thank you so much. I know what I want & desire.

[@VerleanHurd]

So, happy for this video. My, my, my how the tables have turned. Provided for wives went from ridicule to envy. Im loving it.

[@charmaineespeut4627]

People are so fickle. They will make fun of you for having two legs

[@IDontKnowYouBut]

I'm using that 1. Thank you.

[@bunchielove6893]

Only the ones who are treated well.

[@MedusssssaChristo]

Yet so many women get cheated on & left with kids while their husband Is with his mistress..

[@VerleanHurd]

@@MedusssssaChristo This comment screams single.

[@rosewatersweettea]

I have a college degree and two certifications but I don’t pay for anything in my house because my man loves being a provider. I have stopped telling friends I don’t work because they get extremely triggered, assume I’m lazy then expect me to pay all their stuff 😂

[@cleverlady4467]

OMG, I was talking t0 my older sister about this the other day. She left her high flying corporate job to take time to rest. She is married with one child. She only told myself and my older sister that she's not working. She has not told our mother and other sisters because she says didn't want to be judged for taking a break from work. I told her that as black women, we have been groomed to be constantly working, we are not associated with a life of relaxation and leisure. She also said, her domestic helper gives her odd stares when she takes a nap during the day (we are South African, it's very common to help domestic help with cleaning and household tasks). I also experienced the same thing, last year I quit my great job and decided to go pursue my Masters in London. I didn't tell many of my family members that I'm leaving until the month before simply because I didn't want any judgement or questioning of my decision. I didn't want to be questioned why I am leaving a high flying job. I was exhausted, I achieved a lot, but I was stressed and tired. When I call home on video, they all say wow you look so young and I tell them it's because I'm not stressed from working any more😂😂😂.

[@ThandekaMhlongo-TM]

I am so happy for you, I'm planning on resigning at my new job. 5 months in, and my doctor said my blood pressure is dangerously abnormal

[@amethyst4444]

I want to do something like this sooo badly. But how did you have the money to do this??? This is my struggle…

[@mrsropaxo]

I remember my mum called me lazy for wanting to date hypergamously and marry up so I can be a stay at home wife/mum. I am not lazy 😅 I am paying my dues to society as a high earning attorney, but in 10-15 years I don’t want to still be working this hard. I want a life of ease , softness and rest. But apparently that’s “lazy.” 😅

[@violet18]

Anyone who becomes an attorney is not lazy. The women who get it, get it. The soft life is everything.

[@drkeyna]

I have my BA, MA, and Ed.D. and a SAHW/M of 2. You basically described my life since I got married almost 11 years ago. Thank you! I wish there was a support group for black women who live that soft life.

[@violet18]

Good for you! I pray that it happens for me too because I have thyroid disease and I don't want to work anymore even if I have a college degree. I want to dust my house and fold clothes.

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

YESSSS! I love being feminine. Not sure if I will ever marry, but at least I give a lot of hugs and kisses to everyone around me. In my Palestinian community, a man won’t even look at you if you are not soft and loving. I love your channel! You understand what we females go through! Your the best Chloe and happy you started your own channel 💗🇵🇸

[@EbsEbsReg]

Hey Chloe. I was binge watching your content again yesterday (Valentine’s Day). I’m a single, 26 year old woman who is trying to level up, step into my feminine and get married. I love your platform, it has been helping and healing me🩷

[@littlelamb7890]

There use to be a time where “we” aged gracefully, couldn’t tell our age. Now this whole masculina energy, “boss-up” movement is starting to show; and many (not all) of us are looking real tired, haggard, and much older than our age.

[@NalloryLove]

This is so true. Being in a 50/50 dusty aged me 10 plus years. People thought I was damn near a child before I met him. Now I feel like my name could be Ms. Haggard after the fighting, working, and soul wrenching separation. 0 ⭐️ and to all my young friends I never recommend.

[@bellekelly582]

Chronic and ever increasing stress is a hell of a drug

[@BONNIENARUTO]

This is so true! I feel so tired most days and im 26, and people tell me I look older.

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

Also ladies it’s very important to discuss with your husband early on if you want to be a stay at home wife. Make sure he is paying all of the bills and giving you a weekly allowance. Put aside some of your money into a High Yielding Savings Account and Roth IRA. I wish I learned this my late teens to early 20’s but I grew up in a toxic household with a strong independent mother. I’m 27 about to turn 28 and I just started waking up last year.

[@kimberlycarter7275]

I was a SAH wife (no kids) for about 5 years. I needed that time to heal and reconnect with my birth family. I was in school but I still caught HECK about not working from most people. I thank God I had a few friends who encouraged me to not be bothered by the nonsense. It was hard and I was isolated for a while. Your channel is awesome and I’m glad you are helping younger women

[@littlelamb7890]

Out of all the KZbin channels, Chloe is BY FARRRRRR my favorite!!!

[@stellakamau6994]

By FAR

[@Mrs.704]

Hey commentary is hilarious yet REAL

[@felicerobinson]

With these realizations come pain and grief for lost opportunities that, if not mourned, will remain stuck in our bodies and actually impede divine femininity. Healing involves painful truths. Love and light to all on the path.

[@AyaEgbuho]

💯🙏🏾

[@LexaLite]

Thank you ❤✨️

[@tinalabouve49]

Thank you. I am 61 and I fell for the okey doke. My left eye has a chronic twitch that I firmly believe is a result of this social trauma and conditioning.

[@BONNIENARUTO]

I love how you stated this, well written!

[@PearlEtim]

I didn’t want to be a stay at home wife because my mum was and her experience traumatized me,I have been watching your videos since I was 18yrs am 21yrs now and you’ve changed perspective,you thought me the important of healing,vetting,hypergamy,moving in silence,physically appearance,Boundaries,emotional and spiritual intelligence etc thanks for sharing your wisdom with us Mrs Chloe ❤

[@Sparkle-ey7iw]

I still wouldn’t…it gets old being a man’s servant after a while

[@avidyoutubewatcherr]

@@Sparkle-ey7iwOne of the few people with a brain in this comment section omg

[@andreinatrigos8707]

from my experience, in My family all the older women stay at Home because they don't work. However, they have been abused by their husbands, my mother and My grandmothers, all of them had Bad husbands that weren't kind or good providers, i don't know why but being the man of your dreams save You from abuse, i prefer crying in a Ferrari instead of crying due to My abusive husband is hitting me.

[@veeedgee]

Not having a father in the home is a form of grooming. And there’s nothing we can do about it. Child support does not replace a father’s role in a little girls life, and single parent households happen even when marriage comes before the carriage.

[@CL-do5eq]

Correct

[@roma5809]

It’s not even a lack of a father. Lots have black women had fathers in their lives who still went 50/50 with their mothers, lazy, yet still expecting the woman to cook, clean, and pay the bills.

[@SAnderson54]

I love that you made the distinction between the necessity of classic feminism VS the unnecessary modern day feminism

[@kimjohnson4473]

This video was right on time. I was waiting for a long time for another Chloe_ video to drop. I was 39 years old when I first learned about femininity and hypergamy. One divorce, two Master's degrees, and a flourishing career later- I'm just tired. Thank you for all the knowledge, Chloe!

[@ShadesOfIvery]

I feel you, I just turned 44, I rathered be retired b4 50.

[@Stylebyria]

Some of us learned late in life. I recently learned about femininity through this channel at 37. I’m tired and working on me this year.

[@NalloryLove]

Same I found her late in my life and I legit want to just stop everything. I’m so exhausted.

[@Parfumchloe]

Yes I do believe black women or women in general have been pushed to being their own provider because of the toxic narrative of "not depending on a man financially". rowing up I wanted to be a Doctor, but in High school when I learned about the long years of study and work hours being a doctor really entails, I decided that lifestyle is not for me. Instead I wanted to get married young at 21 (meet my husband in college) and prioritize having a family of my own. The Girl Boss agenda is pushed down our throats all over social media, the news, and pop culture, but it just never felt right in my hypergamous spirit.

[@megan7767]

The true empowered ones had love and support. Not the angry ladies holding cute pink brunches. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@stellakamau6994]

Pink on the outside 100% masculine inside

[@F3f3333]

Lol right and all gossipy

[@love252-p4r]

😂😂😂​@@stellakamau6994

[@1kericho]

Thank you for highlighting historic shifts and how it impacts every day women. I am in my late 30s and want a husband, children, and a fulfilling personal life. Like many others, I was focused on work and haven't mastered how to vet the right person to come into my life. (I also have a lot of learnings on my end that require growth to be a great, supportive wife.) Chloe, thank you for having these conversations . . . KZbin is the new magazine stand and helps prepare younger generations to consider different options and to plan how they want their 40s, 50s, and 60s to look before it is difficult to find a partner or to carry children.

[@Berlanciamyrtil]

17:15 the family is the future! Brought me to tears! It's true!

[@JMeyer1112]

To me the answer is, BOTH we were both lied to and empowered. As an Adult we have to figure out where the lie showed up in our lives and where the empowerment was created. I'm a little over 35, and I have been on my own since 18 because my mother was a masculine nut who believed me and my sister should "struggle" the way she did. 😮‍💨 Unfortunately my sister and I both struggled greatly as young women because she purposely set us up for "the struggle" However what I did become is very independent, which has also been a blessing. I get to do whatever I want and don't have to beg anyone to have my basic needs met. 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 However it is important not to carry yourself like "I can do it all by myself" especially with men because they will feel" not needed in your life" Ladies continue to Honor yourself made independence but don't boast about it. My best advice to women my age or younger who had major struggles would be to make sure you have some type of therapy, your own money and also keep your heart and mind ready for love and LET MEN HELP YOU! 😂 Know that "struggle" doesn't have to be your narrative and to open yourself to the opportunities that life has in front of you. Continue to implement self care and again keep your heart open for love.❤️ I'm wishing all independent, interdependent and women who are able to be provided for, all the love in the world to attract everything they desire ❤️🙏🏾

[@iyalana]

Hi everyone, I’ve been watching Chloe for some time now and I just love it. I work with children and I went into education because I noticed many of the women have the life I aim for. A masculine husband that makes more than them and the traditional family blueprint basically. I noticed that there’s actually not that many young, fit black women in education here so you already know I stick out like a sore thumb. The staff members sometimes confuse me for a student still which is honestly flattering. Anywho, I encourage all women to have a soft life. Even if you have to be alone for a little bit, if you walk in softness and feminity, you will attract a masculine man. Speaking it into existence for me and all of you. Godbless and amen ❤.

[@Neah1987]

I love your content Chole. You have opened my eyes to so much over the years. I’ve been on both sides of this situation. I am college educated & had a career. I married at 24, then became sahm from 27-33 with 2 little ones. I went back to work in 2019 on a less than a part time basis after the kids hit 1st & 2nd grade. Then in the past year I Found out about my provider husband’s financial infidelity. I’m pending a divorce now. I do appreciate this message but I also feel conflicted at the same time. Hine sight is 20/20 though. I suggest you ladies make sure you & your husband have things like ira’s & healthy allowances directed to you specifically if & when you put your career on hold ladies. Life is so unpredictable. My man turned out to be a MOUSE! None the less I’m Adding this video to my playlist of things to discuss with the kids when they come of age.

[@TheNewFeminine]

I totally understand and we talk about solutions in My Private Group on how to avoid those Pitfalls. Wishing you all the best.

[@jacquelinee1220]

I love seeing women thrive in their femininity and cater to their loved ones, who deeply appreciate them. Thanks for continuing to remind us about the feminist lies on being satisfied being a boss babe. I am studying for my master's and work full time as I only qalified for a part scholarship and you're so right about burnout... I can't wait to not have to do it all on my own, our cycles are not made for the lifestyle of having to work constantly and surviving on takeout and poor sleep. Keep spreading your message ❤

[@SuperDB215]

💯 truth! I’m 43. I worshipped Claire Guxtable, and my mother told me not to worry about boys/men and taught me how to work hard. Im hyper independent and the only part of my life I feel like I know what I’m doing is my career. I’ve been in a relationship for a year now and realized I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in… and he’s becoming frustrated because he’s confused on how he fits into my life and what I need/want from him. I am still just doing all the things… I’m hoping I don’t mess this up.

[@Ang-wu2bt]

You will be okay sis. No one is an expert. Just ask for help. It’s hard but you have to ask him. Men need direction sometimes on how to help. I am married 17 yrs and I still don’t get everything right.

[@chellebb1311]

I’m working through getting over my ex who is a successful, masculine, attractive, provider man. I was telling my therapist that one of my struggles with moving on is the fear that I won’t find another man of his stature. My therapist, who is an unmarried, 50 year old black woman, then started encouraging me to basically become the man of my dreams and even suggested dating down! I was so disheartened to get this advice from a fellow black woman whom I admire.

[@Iamblahblah111]

This is why I don’t see black therapists, my first black therapist I had judged me for not going to a George Floyd protest and telling me that I should reason with my abusers. I’m sorry she did that you you though

[@dodzianku7598]

Why did you split up? He sounds amazing.

[@nubieblack886]

She is a thérapist not a hypergamous coach

[@tinalabouve49]

Same here! I met the love of my life in my early 50s but ultimately we didn't work out because I didn't know how to be feminine. Now at 61, I still have regret, pain and trauma about that break up.

[@Iamblahblah111]

@@nubieblack886 and?

[@MegaKittyKat27]

Perfect video. This was me a few years ago. I was a go-getter and super ambitious trying to prove a lot of women that I can do everything. I was tired but kept going. I saw women who were sahm as weak and slave to men. Until I started to heal myself and had children of my own. I realized that I love being a sahm and that it was ok for my husband to take care of me. I had to unlearn all those masculine traits that were hurting me and were highly influenced by the women in my family. I get comments and hate by other women but also see how miserable they are. I learned how much of life this girlboss life is and glad that I longer am apart of it. ❤

[@steved6269]

I accidentally found this channel, but I'm glad I did. I don't fit the typical audience for it, but I really like the raw truth being shared. - A random 45 yr old, single white dude 😊

[@user-tn6fg2du6v]

I 100% agree we’ve been tricked but when there’s no protectors or providers on the horizon . You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do lol. I know I’m a masculine but at this point idgaf 😭

[@angelinelegrand2414]

Just make sure you don't pick a non-provider man if you're going to choose

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Exactly unfortunately. Most women in my city, blk, yt, other work.

[@orderedme_ohgee8607]

So glad this channel fell into my lap 4 years ago when I was 24 and had just started the grieving process of my longtime boyfriend, he was murdered. He was a provider, he loved me and always treated me gently as he genuinely adored me since I met him at 13. I took up hobbies, got a cosmo trade, relaxed at home, soaked up pop culture, got to work or not work as I pleased, and always have been super into self. I love things, I love people, I love to feel and look good, and though life isn’t perfect, and I didn’t have the best of everything, I still don’t, I feel like there is not a stain on me. I love my life, I love myself. I always have, but I never had the verbiage to express all of the things you taught me to be proud of. My family and even some of my friends would have a love hate relationship with who I am and how I operate, and something inside me had always known it was envy and jealousy. Like, I don’t intentionally have main character energy, I don’t think I’m better than anyone but I’m always getting treated as if I think my crap don’t stink just because I don’t look like what my life “should have” panned out for me as a statistic. People give me things, drinks, compliments, recvomendations, conversation, chivalry, nice-ies i don’t even ask for because the universe just works for me like that. I deserve it, respectfully. But some people feel like I just don’t have enough responsibility. I am confident, I am culturally rich, I am assertive, I am philanthropic, i am anything I say I am, people love me and the people I love the most hate that about me. I have a very strong, beautiful, steadfast, ignorant, loving, masculine, jaded, bitter mother, and I love her dearly, but I can even tell that she is one of my biggest haters. Needless to say I never had any “feminine leadership” and I am still engulfed in a culture that put way too much energy into dusty, weak, non-provider men that my female family and friends just give babies to, work hard to keep around, accept anguish and abuse from, wait around for, be side pieces to, second mothers, step mothers,and plain ol down to the bone pick mes for, and I’ve NEVER subscribed it. I’ve been labeled as lazy, accused of “must being a undercover 304” “only having a trade” (by my 35+ older cousin, aka someone who doesn’t even have tenth grade credits, not a feminine bone in her body, with 3 kids, a permanent black eye from a lover and not even the sense god have a gnat) “always want to be the one getting attention” “do too much” Because I put effort into looking pretty and I refuse to let anything stress me out if I can control it. I don’t allow people to say just anything to me without correcting or rightfully checking them. I don’t let anyone undermine me nor treat me as if I am inferior because I didn’t go to a university, haven’t bore children, or cling on to anything that doesn’t make me feel good. That genuinely offends my natural counterparts. I have an older cousin who I am close to and I genuinely opened her eyes to a lot of things that she used to side eye me about, but now she is 40 with 3 kids and a very stressful life trying to piece herself together after being in a relationship that’s still actively breaking her since she was 18/19. She is unpacking a lot of misogynoir, colorism, masculinity, hypogamy etc in real time and it kills her because her mindset is so far behind and it’s crazy because in all honesty she’s one of the close-ups I’ve groomed myself not to be like growing up. Meanwhile I’m sure she’d attribute this reckoning she’s being slapped around by to her newest tiktok “sprinkle sprinkle” obsession she’s taking in all wrong, I just sit back and once again realize what I don’t want to turn into. It’s sad but it’s true, I can say so much more but I would like to end this novel by saying thank you! Lol the matrix tried to get me, but you were RIGHT THERE!

[@orevaonaemor3865]

Soft life is good for you dear.please enjoy your feminity.

[@theMadameM]

Wonderful dialogue as usual. Thank you Chloe! Will share with the women in my life who WILL LISTEN.

[@Claudiaaliru]

😊All i know is 2024 is my year to work on my self, health, spirit, body, academics( engineering major here) and my relationship and yes, my man is supportive in my business and academic life too

[@neriahwilliams6906]

Our Daughters and myself have been dissecting the Boss Woman's songs. It has been hilarious and triggering everything from Arethas RESPECT through both Neyo and Destiny's child "Independent woman" and when they catch it we speak on it its been a fun hobby. Thank you for another important video. To all fellow SAH wives and mothers who feel lonely (we know the feeling) press on deeper pour on an extra layer of love for Ourselves Husband and children Shalom.

[@bbgirl800]

Thank you Chloe you and a few other youtubers are who encouraged me to lean into my desire to be a stay at home wife/mom and I am so thankful I did. 💗

[@dearestlove8581]

Back when I watched The Real HW of Atl., everyone would give Toya a hard time for being a SAHM/W. I have gotten back lash for my views but I really could not care less. I have worked hard these past 4 years (after the end of a decade long relationship) and this will be my last few months of pushing hard before I go back to living the soft life.

[@SouthernBelleTells]

The family is the future! Blessings!

[@charleschandler2034]

The title "Skrong and independent: Have you become the man of your own dreams?" 😂😂🤣🤣😆😆😅😅

[@Berlanciamyrtil]

This video is so good! Im 24 years old and definitely going back to the drawing board 👩🏿‍🎓👉🏿👰🏿‍♂️

[@theunknownbachatero8899]

As a guy, i can definitely relate to No. 6 bcuz that happened to me. She was a go-getter, "get things done" kinda gal & I was just glad she was giving me attention. About 6 months later, I was ready to leave & never look back.

[@ishaw500]

Hi I’m 34 and burnout

[@jazmonthe_]

I do think it’s good to reflect and realize that where you are is not where you want to be, but remember that everything takes time and to give yourself grace as you are a byproduct of society. You choosing to be more and better than what was programmed and ingrained is beyond powerful. Even to alchemize your thought process to a higher realms of flow and femininity from the old ways of force and stagnation, is where your true praise should go. It’s the little things and baby steps that makes a world of difference✨you are doing you’re best, you are exceptional and you have everything you neeed to be alllll you ever dreamed of🧚🏽‍♀️

[@13ikea]

I appreciate your videos. I’m in my early 30s and was not taught how to be hypergamous. Sometimes I feel like it’s too late.

[@marciadixonpr4213]

I don't think women were necessarily lied to...women's liberation was an enormous social movement which brought about great change. No one knew where that road to liberation and empowerment would lead, and how those changes would impact women's lives. Some of those changes have been good, IMHO, however what those changes did do, for some, was make them lose touch with their femininity and conversely has impacted their ability to attract provider husbands. However thank goodness for this channel with its focus on black women, and its clarion call that black women don't need to mules, providers and workhorses or operate in their masculine to get what they want and instead focus on ourselves and nurture and enjoy our femininity.

[@philweeks6196]

Fun fact: Aretha Franklin’s Respect in not her original song but a cover. Otis Redding wrote and perform the song first. It was written from a man’s perspective

[@AyaEgbuho]

Oh wow. I've never heard that! Makes sense though.

[@zurimyres5660]

Speak on it ! Especially when kids are involved ! Finances is key 🔑

[@blackurbangoddess]

I was born in 78 so I appreciate channels like this. The way I grew up I was taught career over everything. I do believe that developing marketable skills are so important I was never taught how important it is as much as career to develop relationship skills with men. As I have gotten more mature I choose to think differently

[@bambi3106]

I’ve been waiting for you to drop🎉

[@amyfleming6099]

this message is truth. thank you Sis.

[@Lore788]

I learnt a lot from you. I appreciate your teaching, thank you!🙏❤️

[@seedra6533]

This message is so needed out there! Thanks sis for this

[@airuniverse10]

Chloe, you’re doing the Lord’s work… you’re sharing real wisdom and feminine guidance. I can’t stop watching your videos… taking serious notes fr. Thank you🙏💕

[@clauradenemarumo9343]

indeed the family is the future

[@CandlestickTV]

Love the title lol yes they have

[@Pretzelgal]

I think the thing to remember is that life does offer choices. It seems that when a new narrative or way of being comes around, we, especially in the black community, get it shoved down our throats 24/7 until it is run into the ground. The strong black independent woman narrative is just that.

[@angelinelegrand2414]

We over do everything

[@ttfells2020]

🎯 80's/90's girl here ... I swear this is nothing but the truth. An example of this is how they mocked Thelma Fry for wanting to marry Ruban the pastor who wasn't interested in her. Once she went off to the military (becoming the man of her dreams) then he wanted to marry her. Story of my life & its taken years of self help to make needed changes. Sis, keep doing this work❤

[@amberparedes875]

I had a husband and he did stuff to cause my life to fall apart. I'm the woman you speak about in this video. I hate having to provide for myself. I'm tired, angry and feel hopeless. I want to e in my soft feminine Era, but it truly looks bleak 😞😞😞

[@estheri5944]

I agree with the last girl. The family is definitely the future

[@mindshiftmami]

Hiii Chloe!!! Love your channel so much you are literally saving lives out here ❤

[@pamelasbutterflylife1312]

Hi Chloe_ and all of you hypergamous queens/princesses 🌹💎🤎!

[@VerleanHurd]

Hey girl.

[@SOFTcTV]

Hi, lovely lady 🪷

[@Librabaddie717]

Hey girl 😎

[@malikawilson7071]

Hey girl!!! Hello HYPERGAMOUS QUEENS 👸🏾

[@pamelasbutterflylife1312]

@VerleanHurd you are so kind 🌹! Thank you so much for responding ❤️! Hey girl, hey 🥰!

[@Tabmaj]

Thank you for this!

[@megan7767]

I didn’t even watch yet. But I’ll go with lied to.

[@malikawilson7071]

@megan7767 For sure!

[@MrMeToo-fh7pe]

You still responsible for what you choose to believe.

[@megan7767]

@@MrMeToo-fh7pe and I believe what I commented above.

[@MrMeToo-fh7pe]

@megan7767 understood... yall chose to believe the lie, so deal with the outcomes like everyone else. Now it seems that yall are falling for this lie about some imaginary lifestyle where women don't work but somehow supposed to be pampered and catered to off the back of some rich man. Yall some funny creatures.

[@angelinelegrand2414]

​@@MrMeToo-fh7pego away away feminine man. Y'all hate responsibilities.

[@tamarawilliams1197]

Great Video! 💋

[@TaylorJohnson1]

i love your balanced point of view.

[@evitanwachukwu1327]

Such a timely video thank you!

[@karenb2873]

You said EVERTYTHING but my Name............SMMFH......and my mother was a housewife while my father was head of house.......they raised 4 girls to be self sufficient until we get the ring.................None of us are married...............

[@Cat-sx6ep]

Thank you Chole !

[@Astoldbyginquita]

I’m not dating and a single mother so I have to be the man of my dreams for now

[@Ninab-adam]

She’s leaning on the car instead on a nice warm shoulder 😢

[@MrsBerry-of3lr]

😮 Was that New York in that clip? 😢 so sad.

[@Onlyrideforeign]

Love this video

[@memedicine1]

the short answer is yes...I have become the man of my dreams

[@jaybrown3415]

I knew i wasn't bugging. I'm seeing more and more women in blazers on social media smh

[@sheilahawkins8861]

The fake life❤

[@marrow57]

I have been lucky my friends have been supportive of me being a sahm and tell me that I am smart lol

[@brownskinblackbarbie2363]

Yes help I have lost my touch in my femininity

[@2madwithaj]

Whewwww…:I’m a masculina mascot 😂 but I don’t want to be

[@luw5244]

I’m tryna be a stay at home wife with no husband😭. Help😂

[@zurimyres5660]

Yea this video is spot on , even tho I’m innately independent, nevertheless I desire a masculine provider man . Not easy to actually depend on a partner that’s not stepping up to being a man, husband, father etc .

[@angelinelegrand2414]

Choose wisely then

[@tarao4382]

👏🏾👏🏾💯💯👏🏾👏🏾

[@AndreaPortley]

My grandmother and great grandmother worked outside of the home and maintained a home inside! Maybe it’s this generation’s entitlement mentality that’s hindering them from taking care of their business! You can’t flex and maintain a household at the same time!!!

[@IAMHERE486]

Sounds exhausting!

[@entertainmeimboredplease4250]

Hello

[@humilis42]

SMH what a set up.

[@visionentertainment8006]

equality it's what you wanted 😂

[@tuchunglee1793]

Nearly broke my neck running to click on Chloe’s video upload 🥲

[@mercy7640]

me too 😂

[@trapnurselife]

lol i remember my friend mom was like "Yea she don't wanna work". She was a masculina raising other masculinas. My momma never promoted me working hard.

[@cocoa_bean_queen]

Just going to drop some love for this platform. 🩷🩷🩷