Choosing the Right Present | Vlogmas Day 14

[@untappedinkwell]

I really like your criteria for gift giving, actually. I come from the "cute /and/ functional" school of thought, so sometimes I will try to do that, but most important to me is the concept of consent in gift giving. Because sometimes we don't know what other people want or need, even when we know them very well, and my ideas for gifts I want to give should always take a back seat to gifts that my loved ones want or need--if I cannot find the place where those concepts intersect (though usually I can). I have a few friends who prefer experiences over physical items, and as such the way that I think about their gifts is different from someone who wants or needs something physical. If I am gifting to children, I want to get them what they want and things that will challenge them and encourage them to grow. Those coincide far more than they don't. I'd also recommend writing down your gifting ideas (and any requests from the recipient) and keeping a record of that (and what you actually got them). I have a master list of ideas, what I've gotten that person for years past, and links to their wishlists (if available) and it is a huge help in knowing what I've considered in the past and what I want to do in the present.

[@katyspencer797]

I love love love to give books as gifts, but struggle with it sometimes as most of my family members don't have/make time to read, so often the books just stay on their shelves and don't get appreciated.

[@SHINSHINDESU]

Thank you. This is the first Christmas without my sister because she passed away from cancer in February. So this is the first Christmas that my family will be split - my other sister is working as a nurse, mum is staying home and I am going to my gransparents. I think you can't go wrong with the basics - socks, PJ's, soaps... This year I brought socks for my cousin, grandpa & uncles from a place (Sock Sydnicate) that gives back the money to help the homeless. One thing that my dad taught me is that you can't go wrong with books.

[@TamaraWoods]

I'm so sorry you lost your sister. I hope you have a wonderful time with your grandparents. Take care.

[@SHINSHINDESU]

Thank you. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and a great New Year.

[@firewordsparkler]

Sending you love. My family is in a similar moment, and we're not doing presents for this reason. I do wish we were, though, just to lighten up the spirit a bit.

[@SHINSHINDESU]

firewordsparkler same here. I chose to hold my birthday with my sister and mum because I felt I need to deal with it instead of not holding it.

[@Roll4Initiative]

I've done this with handmade items (especially knitted sweaters or large handmade home items like shelves) of getting a dollhouse sized version of it and wrapping that along with a card explaining the item I will make them based on thier input. So I did this with a sweater, I told the person that I'd knit them a sweater and they got to pick out the design (from a list) and the color. My dad also did this when he made my mom a set of shelves for their house. He couldn't hide the shelf making process so that gave her something to unwrap and then he was able to make the shelves to the heights that she wanted. Especially nice if the person you're giving the gift to has very specific tastes. It also works if you're a little short on time in the lead up to the holidays but know you will have enough time to make it shortly after the holidays.

[@GingerRootss]

This was so helpful! Definitely going to incorporate reflecting back on important past experiences in my gift giving!

[@yyolandaa7]

I have definitely been procrastinating getting presents, also because I had an unexpected change in employment so I'm being wary of my spending. I like gifting something homemade though. Cinnamon ornaments are simple to make, they smell so wonderful, and last forever so I'll probably make some of those.

[@indubitablyzara]

I don't usually give many gifts around Christmas - my family is big enough that my mom and I can't really afford to give everyone things that we buy or gift cards, and some years I've made everyone something, but I've had less time to do that as I've gotten older. Like you said, I try to think of what that person would actually want and/or use - I know my grandparents aren't really in need or want of many things/objects at this point, so this year I'm making them orange macaroons because I know that's something they'll enjoy without having to hang on to it later. On the other hand, I'm getting my best friend one of my favorite cookbooks because I know it will appeal to her love of elegant food without containing a ton of super-fussy or difficult recipes. So for me it comes down to knowing 1) what appeals to that person and 2) what they will use.

[@TheRainydayvideo]

I'm lucky that I've got a good memory for things that people like or things we've experienced together. If I'm buying for someone I don't know well though I feel totally lost but I went for locally produced products for a secret santa so fingers on that one!

[@12happy11]

This year my family isn't buying gifts for Christmas since we all (15 of us) spent the week of Thanksgiving in Disney World. While the trip was fantastic and I loved just spending so much time with them, I'm really missing the feeling of searching for the right gift. I love to give books, board games, tickets to the odd show or concert, gift cards to local restaurants. I never thought of it that way, but they are all different experiences that can be shared with the giver or another loved one.

[@LauraLumos]

That was very thorough! I could really step up my Christmas gifting game. I actually haven't bought anything yet unfortunately. :( This is a great pep talk to get me prepared to do my shopping this week!

[@JJC1138]

I love those ideas, especially writing the card in advance to figure out what you want to say with the gift. One thing that has worked great for me is keeping a 'Present Ideas' note with a heading for each person I'd like to give presents to and then writing down ideas throughout the year as I think of them or if the person mentions something that they want. Even if those things aren't still relevant when you come to buy the gift, just having a list of 'the sort of thing this person likes' is supremely useful for getting you in the mindset for thinking of something else they'll like.

[@blep301]

I'm always down for gifting tickets. Weather it's a $2000 seat on Broadway, or the cover charge for the bar downtown. This is what my BF and I do every year. This year I also am running a D&D campaign for my baby brother as a Christmas gift. Other things I am making to give this year are bath bombs, candles and cookies. And obvs giving out a handful of books.

[@lotturtle]

Hey Rosianna, I really enjoyed the way you articulated your gift selection thought process so beautifully! I've never really sat down and tried to unpack how I go about deciding what to give people but what you said about thinking about what you want the gift to say really resonates when I look back at the best gifts I've given in the past. I've just finished sorting out most of my gift giving for Christmas as well as a couple of upcoming birthdays and it's cool to look at the things I've chosen and think about what I hope they mean to the people I want to give them to. Like you mentioned a couple are connected to places I've been and important experiences I've shared with the recipient. Others are intended to enable activities for us to do together. Looking at the gifts I'm most self-conscious about, or worried about giving, I think it might be because I was lacking clarity about what I wanted the gift to say or be about. They also tend to be gifts for people that I consistently struggle to find things for. I'm excited to try your strategy of writing out the message or intention of the gifts next time and see if that helps me do a better job! On a side note, as well as books one of my go to gift genres seems to be artwork, both home made and bought. I think it's because I feel like beautiful artwork is always worth while. I probably do need to be careful though about making sure I'm not letting art-based gifts become too much about me and my personal taste, which can be tricky. Then again I guess books can pose the same risk.

[@jumpincows]

This December has been crazy busy for me, and I'm feeling that time crunch pressure in a new way (my back log of vlogmas videos is unreal), so I've been having to balance the gifts I want to give with what I can find time to give. It's a challenge, and I love your ideas. One thing I do every year that isn't exactly a present, but lets me give something to all of my friends, is hand-make Christmas cards. They do take a bit of time to make, but I find it's a bit of self-care to sit down with water colours and a stack of cards.

[@firewordsparkler]

This came at a perfect time! I'm at a loss for what to get for my secret santa, and while the person I'm gifting isn't a reader, I think I can find something I've read that is beautiful on the outside and inside (she's a designer).

[@EmilyStranges]

Love this video!! Such great ideas! xox

[@thathoopy]

This year I have given different kinds of matching presents to different friends and family groups (matching soaps, socks, etc). I didn’t think about this very critically, but now I reflect it seems unusual that in every sphere of my life I ended up giving matching presents. I had some pretty traumatic losses this year, I wonder if this is manifesting as a need to connect people, idk

[@rosianna]

First of all, very sorry about your losses this year. Sending all of my best to you. Secondly, I love the idea of connecting people via presents! There's something very cosy about everyone having their own version of your present and I always love pics of a group showing off the matching thing they got. It's like a secret society.

[@thathoopy]

Rosianna Halse Rojas thank you :) yeah, it’s always so fun!! I’m very excited about the matching socks

[@andrineslife]

I give gifts on behalf of my brother too, and it always makes it a little awkward. I want them to be personal, but also something he wants to be a part of and that doesn't scream me. Last year I ended getting most people books, with cheap brown paper, that I just doodled some of their interests on to make it kind of look like a pattern, this way the inner was more him and the outer more me. Baking is a g great idea though!

[@kujmous]

Thank you for the ideas. :)

[@ofbooksandtrees]

I misread the title as 'Choosing the right President'. Wouldn't have made for a bad video either :P

[@averekriz]

i'm just shitty at giving gifts.

[@marlenac767]

What do you give someone who is going to die of cancer within the next year :(