This One Got...Explicit? | Chosen Family Episode

[@v0mit4br4ins]

as a cat owner, i will always laugh when ashley gets riled up and cat hair starts flying everywhere in front of the camera

[@lisajopegg1685]

And the addition of Fulton's asshole to the pod is 100% on brand for a cat and perfect for this topic.

[@mrmaidlemonade]

It's so exciting to see Alayna apply what she's learning in school. The people who will have therapy with her are in good hands!

[@Ky_The_Weird]

I agree

[@inkedtothe9]

Since Mak mentioned wanting to go back to school to make films, as an illustrator, here is some unsolicited advice to any film students/people who want to make films but don't have the resources: turn your script into a graphic novel. You can always adapt it into a film later. Making a graphic novel/comic is way more accessible than shooting a film because all you need to do is find an artist you communicate well with. And when we write graphic novels/comic we write the scripts almost the same as scripts for film. We use the same language like establishing shot, mid shot, ect. We even use the term camera even though there's no actual camera 😂. And don't worry if you know nothing about art/drawing because, as artists, we're used to communicating with writers to get their vision on the page. Anyway! I hope this is helpful for any aspiring film/TV people who have the passion and the ideas, but don't have the means to get a whole film crew and equipment to execute their ideas yet :)

[@WAMilyFamily]

I would love to see Alayna's presentation! Wouldn't it be great to see it as a video essay on Alayna's channel 3

[@mommyissuesmusic]

Wait, there’s a third Alayna channel?

[@Grounded_Gravity]

Agreed

[@mero8374]

yeeees

[@mero8374]

​@@mommyissuesmusicnot yet, maybe one day :)

[@LucySinclair-pq5od]

10:18 Idk why but ash saying "yes I have beautiful flowers" so sincerely really tickled me

[@logan97327]

24:26 - 26:05: desire discrepancy in relationships 28:00 - 32:59: spontaneous desire and responsive desire

[@leoanne06]

I would love to listen to Alayna'a whole presentation 🖤

[@taylorc7174]

💯

[@v0mit4br4ins]

she should totally make that a patreon video

[@floraframes]

@@v0mit4br4insI second this

[@Isa_may]

I’ve never clicked faster in my life 💀

[@MinaAwesome]

Same

[@gofortori]

I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!! Reminds me of the old school OG chosen family when y’all first started. I like Alayna’s schooling on sexuality, Alayna and Mak ribbing Ashley, everyone being open and learning and centering around queer life & sexual dynamics. 👏👏 reminds me of the early episode “why do tops enjoy topping” that had my stomach hurting from laughing so much

[@raven_moonshine39]

I will say, with this moody lighting, Alayna just needs to add some candles and she'll have PERFECT dark academia vibes 💚💚💚

[@RowanWolf22]

I was so happy you mentioned about responsive vs spontaneous desire! Despite your stuff being viral SO many people STILL don’t know what it is and it’s SO important!!!!! This just makes me so happy

[@helena-hp8vl]

If you tried something and you're not sure if you liked it, I see 2 possibilities: 1: You don't like it. 2: you could be into it, but something was off (maybe you or your partner isn't good at it yet, maybe one of you wasn't relaxed enough, maybe you didn't have the right supplies, etc.) It's worth asking yourself if it's something you feel motivated to try again, or if you feel fulfilled without it! Either way, good is good and you'll know when it's good.

[@Meyli1]

Oof, you're so right Ashley about open relationships having a lot of stigma. My partner and I recently decided to open things up and honestly between you and Dan Savage I'm glad there are healthy honest conversations happening about it so thank you!

[@jelizacole]

ALAYNA WE NEED A READING LIST!!!!! please😘

[@nashlier5390]

I would LOVE to hear Alanas presentation, especially the part about asexuality! Not sure if there's any way we can make that happen? But great ep!

[@nashlier5390]

*Alayna

[@ashleyG92892]

I love Ashley. I can never stay sad watching her.

[@Mariethechaotic]

Oh yeah, I remember why I kind of took a break from watching. Purely because your friendship is so wholesome and fun that it makes me a weird combination of happy and sad that I couldn't deal with after losing my best and really only friend. Please continue to be the sweet, caring, loyal friends to each other that you are. I may never find anyone who loves me romantically but I hope I find good friends like you all one day. Please never stop making Alayna tank top jokes , I love them.

[@chelseah.9577]

First of all 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to Alayna for this presentation. Second 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to the book she recommended, it’s a good read and more interesting than a lot of nonfiction.

[@chelseah.9577]

Also available on audible if you’re an auditory learner

[@Trynatostayalive1234]

What was the name of the book? Lol

[@taylorc7174]

My husband and I used to really struggle with desire discrepancy, where I was the higher desire partner and I definitely felt a lot of bad feelings around it at the time. It was nearly a decade before we got where we are now which is much more on the same desire level. Part of that is a change in circumstances but also getting to know each other's styles more. I am a much more spontaneous desire partner and he is much more responsive, so I've learned how to work his responsiveness, but also lifestyle changes have increased his desire I think. Fascinating conversation, thank you so much!

[@FieryEyez512]

Love discussions on kink! Definitely think talking to kink friendly people, reading resources (Kink wise, etc) can be super helpful on learning things! Also would suggest to never try heavy kinks first before lighter ones with someone else, because of differing factors (Trauma, etc). Gotta ease into it! There's sub/dom frenzy for a reason!

[@bennythebear0711]

Dunno how, but you all come together to make such a comforting vibe. Thanks for the pod 😊

[@KassTheLass]

I can't believe I'm up at 3am on a work week to listen to a podcast. I guess I'm a fan.

[@JansmaIvy]

So good to hear the words “there’s nothing wrong with you when your desire might be ‘lower’”…especially at this moment, since I’m on the brink of a divorce because my husband decided to cheat on me for the past year instead of opening up about this topic and seeking options together.

[@aleg2490]

I'm dyingg! I had to pause the video due to Ashley responding for duty and all that excitement 😂😂

[@LRNielipinski]

Thank God, Ashely is coming back! Best episode in a long time

[@mariaorlova1621]

Thank you for talking about SSRIs, I’m always hitting the wall trying to talk about my numbness and other side effects with my therapist, the problem is that without my meds I’m getting extremely depressed but on them I completely ignore my sexuality and have no sensitivity whatsoever. This is the ultimate challenge for me… I would say even that without my orgasms I can’t fall in love (sorry it sounds really silly).

[@BendyEnby]

I am usually the last person to give medical advice online, especially unasked for. And please please please check with your medical professionals before adding supplements to your routine. However, I had a really hard time with arousal and orgasms on my SSRI/SNRI until I added L-tyrosine supplements and then it got much better. Might be worth a try?

[@urdelicatepov]

happy 1 year of chosen family!! 🫶

[@lyssyr1711]

Oh my god thank you so much for talking about the side effects of SSRIs regarding your sex life. I had the same experince of going numb and it was hell!

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

Even my parrot laughs along with you to these episodes. (She's a blue Quaker parrot and she watches these with me everytime). Also apparently picks up social cues better than my audhd, non-binary, gay/lesbian, feminist, demisexual, progressive climate activist ass (30 yrs vegan too, while we're here may as well embrace all the stereotypes like a woke Pokemon) Lol. Growing up in a country town in Australia has been... fun. Which is why I stick with animals as companions and spend time out in nature to keep the good vibes up (city is more diverse but too much sensory overwhelm) so this kinda thing is invaluable for our community and it's appreciated by the Chosen. But I digress, as usual, love this podcast. Love you all individually too. No homo though 💙

[@Raddiebaddie]

Have you heard of Beans in Melbourne?? Its a vegan, lesbian bar, neurodivergent friendly environment! I dont live in australia but it seems like an amazing place

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

@@Raddiebaddie I think you may have helped me find my people 💙 thank-you kind stranger. Take care.

[@AW-tv6nq]

I also have a blue quaker parrot who loves to laugh 🩵

[@mero8374]

sending hugs ❤

[@WolfSlumberStudy]

How am I here so early?? I always end up getting here _hours_ later with my timezone! Welp, happy to see you beautiful humans again, look after yourselves

[@kalinam4043]

Ashley's eyes are POPPING in this episode. They are so beautiful. I'm captivated.

[@bingbongalong]

I really appreciated the discussion on desire discrepancy, which was a huge issue in my last relationship. As the person with little to no desire, I felt so much pressure and guilt. Meanwhile my partner felt unloved and unfulfilled. We theorized that maybe I had responsive desire so we just had to get started and it would be good, but it made me feel very unsafe to force myself to have sex when I didn’t want to, and this just increased the negative association and my avoidance. Downward spiral until we just didn’t do it anymore. Like Ashley said, these sexual issues were indicative of bigger problems in our relationship, and I’m really glad to be out of that situation now

[@LaNoireDetruit]

I feel you! Almost lived through the same in my last relationship. To make matters worse, physical intimacy was my partner's main source of feeling loved and feeling that the relationshiup was doing well.

[@leolovsen1448]

5:30 Fulton's absolute BASH😂

[@Chuberlovesguatemala]

I really felt foulton deserved more notice from the other two 😂 he was being super cute and no one got all excited about it

[@TheErinbish]

I would love to see all of Alyanna's presentation!

[@mero8374]

yes me too!!!

[@mero8374]

or sex education in every episode ❤ i learned so much today!!

[@Ashley--L]

I liked this episode and I would definitely love to hear more about what Alayna's learning and then all 3 of you discussing it :)

[@annemanalisay543]

Mak without the espresso machine. Speak for us . We need a rep 😂

[@sushi_girl4768]

I'm always asleep when you upload and I didn't think I'll ever reach the point of being here this early

[@lisajopegg1685]

I love how they brought up they didn't do the intros, and then still didn't do the intros.

[@fifinoir]

Despite realising, at the end, that introductions hadn’t been made….they were still missed, I think….right? Lol The lack of introductions seem to fit well with the energy of this episode, loved it.

[@You-Toob-name-here]

Mak where I live you can get a PO Box for cheap. It is handy for us since we have an Etsy shop and don’t want people to have our home address and it might work well for your situation too :)

[@hrnfreak]

Come As You Are is such a good book!

[@nathanmoranx2105]

You had me at explicit. ❤️😁 I would put a number of live lambs in Ashley's backgrounds, cats in Alayna's and beavers in Mak's. Love the edging humour. 🤣

[@nathanmoranx2105]

Or Ashley could have baby goats.

[@michellerbn]

No cuz y’all Mack saying “that’s relatable” when alayna and ashley said “if you’re human” in regards to the book was SO FUNNY

[@ritray8575]

You guys are amazing. I'm having a tough day and it couldn't have come at a better time. Appreciate y'all so much. I'll be streaming it on spotify as well so that you get more streams (thanks to Mak's girlfriend for that idea). Love from india ❤

[@SpaceyD]

Same 😊

[@hi-yo1kq]

You guys are unstoppable 🤣

[@bugbitess]

Duuuuuude currently reading come as you are. Crazy

[@melissaeastridge7402]

I hate that it’s always posted at like 2am for me and I have school so I can’t watch until I get home but it always makes my day once I get home❤️love you guys soooo much!!

[@aliviafletcher8926]

what they bleep out sometimes is so funny to me😭😭

[@jadynromero8175]

God dammit Ashley LOL😂 Elena's going to make such a great therapist🎉 looking Sharp, Mac, as always❤

[@ttarotkidd]

Alayna you should definitely talk about this stuff on your KZbin channel!!! I want to hear more. I'm definitely a responsive desire person but I want to explore what that means for me and I'd love some more information and guidance

[@spriddlez]

Totally. I went on a SSRI recently and I lost basically all sensation. Which is "fun" when I've recently started dating for the first time in years.

[@kurenno477]

“You’re not a normal, you’re a star.” Yes Mak, so true. But look, Alayna is also a star, and she is going to school. You can be both!

[@kimmychuang5564]

ok i know this is probably weird but i actually used the discount for wild grain and really liked it! thank you chosen family for fun content and cool suggestions!

[@dazegutierrez9287]

loved this one. informative and all around fun to watch

[@axolotl195]

I have finally had the time to binge the show and it is so good!

[@Weeladsean]

I just woke up when this was posted lmao 😂 and after I got notified I was up and fully awake love you guys

[@88anza88]

show us the presentation!! give the people what they want

[@carligirrl]

I don't know if this has already happened, but it would make a lot of sense for Alayna to be on the WHGS podcast.

[@JanneBernards]

She's been on 4 times or so. It's how they met. They all 3 met through WHGS.

[@carligirrl]

@@JanneBernards Ohhhh. I didn't know that! Thanks for letting me know. : )

[@JanneBernards]

@@carligirrl I think the first episode Alayna was on only exists in audio form (Spotify, Apple, ...), unless you join WHGS Patreon, but all the others, and also the ones with Mak, are here on KZbin.

[@kaiya33123]

Sending so much love around all three of you❤🥰🥰🥰

[@chloefoote4316]

I live for the chaotic episodes!

[@danidaresit]

I feel like the family dinner should be a tossed salad, maybe a Caesar salad 😂

[@mossy.forest.fae.]

lmao sounds like mak needs a PO box so Ashley can't send weird boxes to her parents house

[@bansarivora7448]

I swear these videos are what I live for atp

[@minionbruce]

If you guys post that presentation, I watch the hell out of it. I'd also send it to everyone i know lol

[@circleofleaves2676]

Yes Mak has dropped the p-word before. It was in the episode where their camera wasn't working or something so instead of real-Mak we got animated-Mak. The animation face did a double-eye squint when she dropped the p-word which looked a bit south-park-esque.

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Love this podcast this cheered me up work getting so hard thank u guys❤

[@JuMixBoox]

I like Alayna looking things up.

[@megs2000]

here in edinburgh 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 we have so many flats and apartments that we've adapted to a *street number/flat number street name* format it's great!

[@aquamarine3699]

I wanna see ur presentation Alayna! Just downloaded come as you are and learning a lot!

[@quantumcrypto2416]

I needed this today

[@violetbrowne5784]

Come As You Are is a great book for women of all genitals. Vulva or not. Definitely helped me understand my sexuality. I've always had a hard time reaching climax and so on. Honestly I doubt that truly spontaneous desire is real. There's always a trigger, its just a much smaller trigger for the "spontaneous" ones. It would probably be good for men too, but I can't say. I'll have to ask my little brother to read it.

[@lydia.c47]

you guys are my fave parasocial relationship

[@SpaceyD]

Expensive blenders totally matter. Congratulations Jen!

[@malkiarose8558]

Omg in here while there is less than 30 comments!!!! This aired 3 am my time I'm watch it at 5:45... anywhooo time to watch

[@Jfunk13]

15:46 I know what you’re talking about Ashley! It’s INSANE! Reagan strikes again 😤😭

[@CookieFlavored4]

the fact that i’m taking the HIGHEST AVAILABLE DOSAGE of lexapro right now (20 mg) but honestly I haven’t seen a difference when it comes to sex drive or sensitivity or whatever. then again, i haven’t actually been taking my lexapro like i should be in a while, so im not sure

[@melody_doing_everything_wrong]

😂😂 put "butts everywhere" on the soundboard 😂

[@Meyli1]

Medication messing with labido is so frustrating. Lexapro helped me mentally so much, but i completely could not orgasm. It was awful, and not worth it for me.

[@themorales6]

“Butts everywhere!!!!” 😂😍😂

[@sydpowell1884]

Because my name is Sydni hearing the first like 5-ish min of the episode had me trippin out 😂😂

[@coversbycierra6557]

I finally have caught up with every episode! Fully lesbian mode? ACTIVATED!!

[@karinagutierrez7134]

Regarding “how do you know what’s a “hell yes!” experience,” the honest answer is that you really just have to try it and you’ll know. Best practices imo is to have honest conversations around desires beforehand (highly recommend doing the BDSM kink test together), set boundaries/have a safe word, and always debrief afterwards so you can identify what you liked and possibly why. Once you establish the baseline of things you like, it’s very easy to identify “hell yes!” experiences. Like I jokingly said X thing around my partner and he realized he actually liked it so he asked I call him that in bed. I felt indifferent about saying it, but it was clearly a “hell yes!” experience for him. On the opposite end, I’ve jokingly said “yes sir” to him and he didn’t even like it in the casual setting because it makes him feel old lol.

[@kerizella]

Mak dropping the p word is the best thing that happened since lesbianism was invented

[@niencarlijn]

I really needed this topic, thanks 🧡

[@canadianicedragon2412]

Alayna: I prefer to take things 3-4 times... My brain: someone is going to clip that and make it dirty... Amurika where addresses are fighting words. Mak: Ashley, you're making me nervous what did you send? My brain: A pride glitter bomb and 32 foot flag, in a a rainbow box... I will say, I'm not medical expert, but with some BioSci background... if you affect Serotonin side effects can vary widely... Serotonin is a neurotransmitter... aka, part of the nervous system so affects brain chemistry, why it is used, but can affect any part of the nervous system... sensations, numbness, any part of it. So... "anything" can happen the hope is you get the benefits and no significant downsides. At like 30:30 Alayna we talking about the normals so the straights... Me: as a straight I do NOT in any way resemble normal... I think you know how straights work. Just saying.

[@ThatGirlShelbyy]

Ahh yes, the perfect video to unbox a large house plant order 🥰🤣

[@StephanieG3T]

Max, flying is safer than driving. Just keep reminding yourself that.

[@trustingintuition]

The research of ketamine for mental health compared to SSRI’s is really interesting

[@aurora3655]

I’ve been thinking about having an open relationship with the public by getting a revolving door to my apartment.

[@Peeeast]

Hhhhhholllly shit I needed someone to talk about srri blockers and sexual functionality

[@kaiya33123]

SAME!!

[@ritray8575]

Ssri*

[@julzamidala2865]

+1 on Emily Nagoski's book.and the different sources of desire. ❤❤❤

[@bethanygreenwood8259]

England write address' that way too! 😁

[@ivand81]

Great video loved it

[@JanneBernards]

I have nothing to say, but this is for the algorithm.

[@LaNoireDetruit]

Distinguishing desire and sexual arousal is so important and saves you a lot of anguish and stress in a relationship. I fully recommend Andrew Huberman's Podcast episode featuring Dr. Malik for an in depth discussion of sexual health & desire 💕👌🏻

[@williamsachs3067]

I love you all so much 💗

[@carligirrl]

Feeling like a VIP for knowing who Emily Nagoski is.

[@supersandie5669]

Seattle Reporting for duty!

[@scubagoldfish45]

I would have made an espresso to watch this but I don't have a machine. 😢😅