Chris Williamson: We're In a Masculinity Crisis

[@MadsKongsved]

This really echoes with me. As a dad of three, 2, 4, and 6 six years old, and a wife with cancer, I try to perform high every day. We have no self pity or think our situation is unfair or anything relative like that. It just is. Like the story of the man and his beautiful horse that runs away. We have to adapt, accept reality, face the tasks, and put in a structure that works for us. I work full time, 37 hours a week in Denmark, and take the kids to dance and football. It is a priority. A privileged priority.

[@THREAPZ1]

Love that, a privileged priority. Thanks for sharing!

[@deepthinking-xr4fg]

Respect …for being such a great person, father and husband. The best example your children can have. I can only imagine the struggle but what a wonderful thing you are doing. 👏👏👏

[@Darknight526]

You're doing amazing bro. Lean on others when you feel tired, your family will make it!

[@Owlsworthy]

Wow. Love this guy. I agree with what he says and the best part is he’s the first to say it without feeling like one group is the villain. Thank you!!

[@yanno6310]

Once again great episode. Chris is very interesting and he's really performing at a high level. It's seems to me there's this huge pressure on him to do everything flawless and world class. I wish him all the success, to let go a bit more, and to enjoy more.

[@debbyshark1596]

What I gather from watching Chris on his podcast and now on here..is that he is sooo damn serious!! To the point it maybe the reason he failed to connect with ppl..just my thoughts

[@ivanbenisscott]

such a smart, emotionally intelligent guy. ideal role model for men

[@plmnjioqazzsw7962]

😂😂😂😂 are you kidding bro

[@ivanbenisscott]

@@plmnjioqazzsw7962 why would I be kidding

[@tensevo]

43:06 Masculinity, insecurities around competence and mastery. Men feel pressure to always be in control, be competent and have mastery. They want a partner they can trust and build a life with, but concerned about not meeting objective metrics of success, fear being traded up from, This makes men come across as needy, even though they know this is deeply unattractive. Men are not needed, is essentially the narrative being pushed by mainstream.

[@Paul2377]

"We're not really listening to men's problems. They are being dismissed out of hand as whining from a patriarchy that men no longer feel a part of". This really stuck out to me. I so rarely talk about my problems, because at the back of mind, there's a voice that sarcastically says: "Aww diddums, you've got such big problems as a privileged white guy". So then I think "okay I'm not gonna speak out, because I don't want to be derided for feeling misplaced self pity and looked down on as a moaning guy who should realised how privileged and good he has it". Do any other guys feel like that? I feel many say all the right things like: "men shouldn't be afraid to cry", or "a guy that talks about his problems is so brave", etc - but that's said in theory and then when it actually happens, the same people say "OK yeah, shut up maaate, no one cares about your man problems".

[@averyintelligence]

no one does care about your problems. as everyone has their own. see a therapist. this is not me being mean. its called reality, accept it cos you cant change it. you may find my comment distasteful. which it is, but its also true. also, do people really say that to you in person? about the yt privilege stuff? i find it hard to believe unless you're confiding with people who have low intelligence. or maybe its the online world you get this message from? ive never encountered someone say to me "diddums u got such big problems cos youre yt and privalleged". and ive done years of aa meetings, group therapy, support groups etc... the only place i see that attitude is online or with school children. if you want a validating response then try go to places that are validating to being with. support groups, aa meetings etc... are free

[@Paul2377]

@@averyintelligence Ask yourself why you left this lengthy comment if you don't care.

[@averyintelligence]

​@@Paul2377 ​ 1. was on the toilet. 2. didnt say i didnt care about your comment, i said nobody cares about your problems. which is true according to your own statement. thank you for deflecting the point of discussion onto a straw-man argument. you prove that you are not willing to take on board real honest feedback, even if harsh. do u have any rebuttals? thanks Paul lovely chat

[@AndusDominae]

The whole "diddums" thing is a big problem men put on themselves, I think. Admittedly one that starts in the way society treats us. Part of being a strong well adjusted adult, IMHO, is addressing all of your problems. You can't do that if you tell yourself the story that your problems aren't worth addressing. I think this is the route of a lot of PEOPLE'S mental health breakdown, but at least women are encouraged to believe they can voice their grievances. "No one cares about your problems" is another problem we put on ourselves because if the way society treats us. No one cares about the weak link, but we all very much care if the team of people we rely on have problems that make them less reliable... that's how you have a cohesive military unit, a hunting party that doesn't get itself killed, a family that support eachother. We're so scared of being the weak link, we make ourselves the weak link by not feeling able to voice and address what's making us unreliable. If you fear sharing your weaknesses, you project weakness, you ARE weak whether weakness is the chicken or the egg. If you say without any fear because you're confident in yourself and the people who have your back "I have this problem, and I want to address it so I can be a better member of the team (friend group, family, coupling, whatever). Sharing it is a step in that process. I and we will be stronger for it.", that's taking responsibility and showing strength. Put those two things together and twist it, you may get the kind of person who makes their problems into everyone else's. That's just as weak as someone who can't face up to or address a problem. There's an art to it. You have to tread the line between taking all the weight off your shoulders by putting on someone else's, and breaking your own back by never sharing your burden... then there's people who'll pretend to take the weight only to stab you in the back, take what's valuable and drop extra weight right back on top of you. You need a good team, and you need to be a good team member, they go hand in hand... you pretty much don't get one without the other.

[@producedbypodcast]

You've been nailing it with the guests lately and Chris now... Cannot wait!

[@cecilydeshea7222]

This is an amazingly insightful conversation. I love seeing and hearing men having these kinds of conversations🤓 I’m learning a great deal of wisdom here. 🌻

[@AndusDominae]

I thought I'd copy this and put it as a separate comment. In response to someone's comment about the disconnect between what men are told to feel/think and what we actually do: The whole "diddums, tiny problems amongst all that privilege" thing is a big problem men put on themselves, I think. Admittedly one that starts in the way society treats us. Part of being a strong well adjusted adult, IMHO, is addressing all of your problems. You can't do that if you tell yourself the story that your problems aren't worth addressing. I think this is the route of a lot of PEOPLE'S mental health breakdown, but at least women are encouraged to believe they can voice their grievances. "No one cares about your problems" is another problem we put on ourselves because if the way society treats us. No one cares about the weak link, but we all very much care if the team of people we rely on have problems that make them less reliable... that's how you have a cohesive military unit, a hunting party that doesn't get itself killed, a family that support eachother. We're so scared of being the weak link, we make ourselves the weak link by not feeling able to voice and address what's making us unreliable. If you fear sharing your weaknesses, you project weakness, you ARE weak whether weakness is the chicken or the egg. If you say without any fear because you're confident in yourself and the people who have your back "I have this problem, and I want to address it so I can be a better member of the team (friend group, family, coupling, whatever). Sharing it is a step in that process. I and we will be stronger for it.", that's taking responsibility and showing strength. Put those two things together and twist it, you may get the kind of person who makes their problems into everyone else's. That's just as weak as someone who can't face up to or address a problem. There's an art to it. You have to tread the line between taking all the weight off your shoulders by putting on someone else's, and breaking your own back by never sharing your burden... then there's people who'll pretend to take the weight only to stab you in the back, take what's valuable and drop extra weight right back on top of you. You need a good team, and you need to be a good team member, they go hand in hand... you pretty much don't get one without the other.

[@Birdycheeks69]

Chris looks gorgeous in his t shirt

[@Lionheartz-sf4ed]

Random, much?😅

[@thatomofolo452]

Wisdom is the principle thing 🙏 🙌 ✨️ 😌 ❤

[@lynnallan7461]

I have watched Chris Williamson many times and I am always struck by how intelligent he is. However as the parent of a high functioning autistic person I am convinced he is also on the autistic spectrum and I am convinced this is why he is not understanding why his social interactions are not wht he would hope that they would be. I hope the work he is doing in therapy now leads him towards a diagnosis.

[@sarahberney]

I'd be staggered if he's not in fact already talking about that with his therapist/s. I daresay he'll start podcasting about that when he's ready

[@whosdad]

no hes not on the spectrum hes just a dark empath.

[@VictorPanainte]

Amazing product, thanks

[@tensevo]

the life of a player, is unfulfilling, because, we need deep connection. the player seeks validation and very surface level, shallow connection. you want to connect with secure ppl who will look after you and have got your best interest, not ppl who just want validation for their insecurities, only to use you like a condom.

[@martijng8951]

Love that you guys open up the conversation and also don't fully go along with him. As I noticed some reservations about some of his views. And you always do this, so no exception but still good to point out sometimes. But with this guy, sometimes he says something where not a lot of people agree with and takes some niche facts about a study that proves his argument. Which makes him miss the big picture left and right. But especially the part: It is hard to work with me, because I ask so much from the people working with me. If you ask a lot from people but you reward them and ask it in away that is friendly, a lot of people still want to work until they drop for you, because you manage them in a nice way. But I feel like he is hiding behind the argument: I am chasing world class outcome, so I tread people like shit. Next to that, I think we need more attention for male loneliness and mental health for man overall.

[@couragecoachsam]

On the topic of there not being many female role models, I muse that there exists some fundamental differences between male and female motivation. Most men are primarily motivated by becoming respectable while I’d say women want to be cherished. With the former, there is aspiration, movement, and progress associated with becoming respectable while with the latter it’s more about accepting what others offer in recognition of your own nature. So many women both bristle at and fawn over IG accounts that promote this kind of lifestyle porn as being simultaneously impossible to achieve yet they long for the safety, love, and coziness that lifestyle provides.

[@cantbendknee]

There are positive female role models. Do you really think Chris seeks out female role model, please. Men still control the narratives. Chris sees women as competition, their achievements diminish men. It’s sad.

[@couragecoachsam]

@@cantbendknee crazy projection. What are you on about. What female role models do you see being positive today?

[@cantbendknee]

@@couragecoachsam My book club reads almost exclusively female authors, did you watch the Olympics by any chance, lots of great female athletes, Katie Taylor the boxer is a great example, if you like any kind of music there are great female artists, comics, when I was studying I had female academics in the field who I looked up to and admired. Some people in politics. I mean it really depends what you are interested in and Chris clearly isn't interested in a lot of what women have to say, in fact he said that he couldn't be with a disagreeable woman i.e women must be compliant and docile and agree with Chris. People are interested in different things and find role models in those circles, it's really not that hard, it doesn't have to be an Andrew Tate type person who is shoving their lifestyle down your throat.

[@couragecoachsam]

@@cantbendknee I genuinely encourage you to submit a potential guest list to Chris and his team. Everyone will have blind spots, so it’s useful to have very different people make suggestions

[@cantbendknee]

@@couragecoachsam His podcast is very much based around Evolutionary Psychology, Republicanism/ conservative echo chamber thoughts. I don't think he'd like any of the 'boss b11tches' as he likes to refer to women who are in business etc, on his podcast. In fact he was giggling recently because he failed to get his merch printed as a group women who worked for the business that designed it had done their due diligence and listened to his podcast picking up on his opinions of women and refused to produce the merchandise. I mean it's pretty well understood that he thinks women are beneath him so I don't think any of my choices would align. His podcast used to be interesting in the beginning, he spoke about loneliness, euthanasia etc, and other things that don't involve culture wars and more about curiosity and self help but now it's all 'What are women doing' etc., and all the usual talking points Hormozi-esque guests who don't require much engagement.

[@maureenclement2553]

Riley Gaines, tulsi Gabor, Nicole Shanahan, Danielle Smith

[@AntonWorks]

8 sleep is got damn expensive! "4000 Eu" right! I think I find another equal product

[@zelig1799]

I would disagree with the clickbait title. Women say they no longer need men because it's true. The State will now step in if a woman find themselves in a desperate situation, no money, no home, no way out. Previously, in that situation, women would look for a man who was attracted to them and would provide for them...there were strings but a they did what they needed to do. Now, in the same situation, that woman can get assistance from the state. The women who say, "we don't need men". Are referring to this situation. On the whole this is a good thing for both sides, women aren't having to be exploited for sex to get out of a bad situation and men aren't being manipulated into providing for a woman who exploits their need for affection. Given the declining marriage rates, it appears this was much more common than either gender would like to admit.

[@AndusDominae]

I don't think that makes it any less a crisis of masculinity. If I'm in a car crash, my arm isn't less broken because my leg's also broken. Men aren't taught how to be socially valuable people. I don't mean by grindset psychology or whatever... I mean we're scared to have a problem because it's a weakness instead of being the kind of people who can have someone they rely on to have their back, and to say to them without a shadow of fear "I have a problem. I'll be stronger for addressing it, which means WE'll be stronger.", not sharing a problem because we're shamed into it, but because we're being a responsible member of a team that needs (and will work for) every link to be as strong as possible. You want your friends and family to be able to come to you with a problem and vise versa, because an unaddressed problem weakens you all. That fear is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you're scared of being weak, you're weak and it's plain to see for everyone around you. If you're not capable of that kind of strength, it'll be nearly impossible to surround yourself with people you can rely on in a crisis. We need to build a team, and to properly value that team, cultivating collective and personal strength in the process. We're designed (evolved) to hunt in parties that literally rely on one another for survival, to live in communities that defend each other, including by ostracizing members that make the whole weaker. We're hardwired to recognise weakness and strength in this way. That's the crisis of masculinity IMHO.

[@Gunn27]

If he was in the army instead of podcasts he would be above most of us………….due primarily to being middle class.

[@derrick021]

Will someone tell these guys that wearing women's pants without socks is a clear sign of masculinity crisis ?

[@georgejung5429]

Hahahahahaha I completely agree, men dress like women and women are now turning into men, worlds fucked. Men cutting there pants off around ankle high is about as gay as it gets.

[@theotherdanielbrown]

Outstanding interview! The world is much better for Chris’s existence

[@nathantaylor5003]

World class ha ha😅

[@carmenkamberos1156]

So much hassle on defining a man and masculinity. Just be yourselves, follow your natural instincts. You cannot change that at will, lest you’re a fake. Don’t let women define your masculinity. Be authentic, genuine, assertive, take the lead in all aspects, specially with a woman. Hard working, be gentle with women, be humorous, generous, a good listener, have character, just be yourself and be proud to be a man. You’ll definitely find your perfect feminine match if you stick to your manhood.

[@thatomofolo452]

Yo Chris 👋👋

[@ScottAdamLancaster]

In the opening 45 seconds, he quotes Peterson about running to and from something and quotes Navel about finding something that 'feels like play to you but work to others'. It would be good if he actually shared something original for a change instead of just reciting quotes from other people who actually think for themselves.

[@niallchristie2491]

He interviews people for a living and you expect him to be coming up with his own ideas. I think you mistook him for a deep thinker, he’s a great interviewer but I don’t listen to him for his thoughts. He’s great at getting great minds to come to him and asking pertinent questions, that’s his value. These guys wanted to interview an interviewer, that’s their mistake

[@ScottAdamLancaster]

@@niallchristie2491 If you're going to share advice, at least credit the source. I don't have an issue with people sharing advice and I've personally given Chris credit for his podcast. But saying stuff and trying to pass it off as your own just to 'look clever' is a little pathetic.

[@niallchristie2491]

@@ScottAdamLancaster yeah i think regurgitating others ideas and passing it off as your own isn’t cool, he’s a decent enough podcaster and I don’t think his intentions are dark but I don’t think turning from podcaster to interviewee is the move as he’s got a lot of other people’s ideas in his head and will fall prey to what you’ve said. If the people listen and assume it’s him it inflates his ego too.

[@Lionheartz-sf4ed]

I have no idea who this fella is.... is that terrible?

[@averyintelligence]

​@@niallchristie2491 "these guys interviewed an interviewer thats there mistake" he was invited on their show, by them. i dont think any mistakes happened? strange assumption. you allure to a notion they thought he was someone else, why? the pod is called High Performance. Not 'We only interview thinkers'. think you are on the wrong podcast channel if thats what you expect. or maybe just reply to the comment instead of assuming the hosts have made some mistake.

[@browniebarbi]

I think the female role model exists, but she is just quietly doing her small business, she does have qualities, enjoys baking, cooking, nurturing, showing love and taking care longing for a great man who we can build a life with, dream together, work towards a striving relationship, but we are not posting all these, we don’t want to take part in the race of hustle culture and the porn rewarding social media. We would probably enjoy great communication, doing things together but how this two people could meet…

[@thatomofolo452]

Wow 😮

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

Chris braggs for 10 years he worked at night clubs, then... says his life was so sad not having anybody to talk to? RIDICULOUS!!! Seems a self serving, self centered man.

[@moistmuffin0072]

How lmfao

[@samanthamyers9945]

He’s not bragging he’s just telling his lore. Are you jealous of not being able to work at night clubs?

[@thatomofolo452]

I am enough 🙆‍♀️

[@docdavo1]

hoping to have my mind changed on Chris Williamson, still think he's just a shill

[@Woke-Fact-checked]

Chris has always been an attention seeker. Went on love island to try and get clout to start a podcast then stole every other podcasters guests 😂. The guys a leech.

[@Chris..........]

Nothing says grifter like forex trader.

[@shaba.N1]

He is just repackaging what others have said. Like a human embodiment of an AI response

[@englishblade]

51:00 soft bigotry of male expectations a word I described but didnt have the word for, I cannot understand this obsession with viewing anything men do as the optimal standard and things we should aspire to ALL the time, for example alot of people will say women can be promiscuous because men are, how is that a trait we should follow just because men engage in it, theyre literally all admitting as a society men are the leaders But if you have God in your life, you know what standards are and morality which is equal across all races and genders, Islam and the Quran write it perfectly

[@DeputyChiefWhip]

Although the information is mostly ok, and he's fairly smart, something feels completely fake and insincere about him.

[@Joan-COYI]

He has autism. I think that’s why people feel or think that he’s fake. I’ve watched him many times and have come to believe that he’s the complete opposite of fake, he has a small ego compared with the top podcasters and he’s really genuine but he’s certainly different and of course we all have our own opinions of him.

[@ka_ranaaa]

I have watched him A LOT. I think he is really genuine, warm and wise 😊

[@DeputyChiefWhip]

@@Joan-COYI ah ok... if that's the case, then that makes sense.

[@Lionheartz-sf4ed]

Who is he?

[@inserviceofthesublime]

Most beautiful podcast in the world, very subjective

[@nickmartin5563]

I usually love your guests, but I find this guy really difficult to listen to... so self absorbed and massive ego

[@johnstevens6063]

clever guy but ... he's just podcaster, not exactly like we are talking about the elites that exemplify high performance. Strongly agree with his views on men and the crisis we face in masculinity.

[@AndusDominae]

He's not 'just' a podcaster, he's had a really interesting life and done a buttload of amazing things. He's no special forces operator or billionaire or anything, in that way I agree.

[@kieranmccabe2729]

I like chris, but didnt enjoy him talking about himself. Prefer when he is the interviewer asking the questions. Hes not that interesting himself

[@Hispania-nz9xw]

Who is Chris Williamson?

[@georgejung5429]

Another paid man aiming to destroy men whilst coming across like he wants to help them. He’s a modern day woman in a man’s skin.