Christian Baby

Jonii, Daro, and Vivian find themselves stun locked during a stream of SSX Tricky, pondering if a Christian Baby could change their faith and make them convert. Spoiler: It cannot.
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Edited by Jonii Vee
Chaos by Daroachie ( / daroachie )
Additional suffering by Super Monkey Vivi ( / monkeyballtweet )
Thumbnail and additional edits by DrawnByAJ ( / drawnbyaj )

[@anevilghost670]

From what I researched, Christian Baby questions on Quora are all from one nutjob under the alias Billy Flowers, who creates hundreds of alt accounts that frequently get banned and creates inane questions revolving around debunking atheism, Trump and divinity or whatever.

[@RiveTheRat]

"You fool! I HAVE SEVENTY ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!"

[@justas423]

The internet should only be populated by people with psychosis.

[@kjartan1905]

I love the implication that a christian baby is just officailly recognized as a suitable substitute for a baseball and you would still win the game if you sent it flying... no questions, no fouls.

[@torgo1985]

“Hello Thomas, I want to play a game. In front of you is a Christian baby…”

[@NICKtendoReviews]

Happy to witness the peak of your content

[@joniivee]

It's good to be in top form. Thank you gamer

[@PrismPoint]

You and a Christian baby are arrested for the same crime. The police separate you and offer you each the same offer: Testify against your partner, and you will receive a reduced sentence. If you turn in the Christian baby, but the baby stays quiet, you only get one year while the baby gets a life sentence and vice versa. If you both talk, you both get 50 years. If you both stay silent, you both get 10 years. You and the Christian baby can not communicate in any way. What do you do?

[@SpinDash]

"The algorithm is at the mercy of me and my whims" THIS is the kind of self-empowering phrase I need in my everyday life

[@jinksgaming1715]

I heard the title and really hoped it was that one quora question being "Imagine you're an atheist skydiving with a Christian baby and the Christian baby doesn't open up his parachute until you convert. what do you do?" I am severely greatful for there being more than one EDIT: YES!!!! IT'S AT 4:55 YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@r4dios1lence92]

I think my answer to any of the Christian Baby questions is "I sell it on black market, because a talking baby will be worth a billion at least". But "for sale, Christian baby parachute, never opened" is probably the best. EDIT: Thank you for not depriving us of Christian Baby

[@londoncintron680]

For all the time you've went on about the algorithm hiding this one, Christian Baby has managed to be the first video I've gotten suggested to me

[@LiquidOrcana]

I like that the first video I get in my sub feed after subscribing after the scene it video is this. Absolute peak content- can’t wait to see more from ya “Christian Baby Guy”

[@Daroachie]

if you don't subscribe to jonii the christian baby gets it

[@n_worder]

I converted to christianity when I saw a 20 minute video titled "Christian Baby" appear in my subscription feed

[@GmNdWtchr96]

Everyone asks "What if there was a Christian Baby," but nobody asks "How is the Christian Baby." 😢

[@DE23]

My favorite Christain Baby hypotheticals are: "Atheists, if you and a Christian baby were teleported into a two different jail cell next to each other, and you had a key which was 99% broken with only one more use left before it breaks, would you use it to free yourself or the Christian baby?", and "Atheists, imagine in an alternate universe there are firemen who must spray fire on houses which are set on water, and you go to spray fire at a water-ridden house, but a Christian baby jumps in the way of your hose. Would you set fire to the baby?" I am not making either of those up

[@alyssumowo]

If firemen in our universe are called firemen because they put out fires, wouldn't the firemen in the alternate universe be called watermen, since they put out water?

[@gene5082]

Imagine you are locked in a conversation with a Christian Baby. The Christian Baby will not stop bringing up hypotheticals until you renounce atheism and accept Christ into your heart. Do you take the $500,000?

[@That_Lady_Charlie]

TWO Jonii videos in a a week?? Oh hell yeah

[@Pigpen_YT]

They need to bring back SpikeTV's Deadliest Warrior and do an episode about "Christian Baby vs. Gay Baby"

[@GmNdWtchr96]

I might submit it to the Death Battle Discord.

[@Nic_2751]

I’m perfectly ok with more comedic videos of random stuff in between the big releases

[@pieofchart]

YEA‼️

[@jammer1248]

There's something unbelievably funny about telling someone to envision a baby being happy as a flex. "Oh yeah? Well imagine a baby. What now, shitass?" Like that's the +4 wild card of any conversation?

[@ghoulgirl99]

I would play this as a 5 year old Sunday school going boy. We’re now a devil worshiping lady 😅🎉🎉🎉

[@conciouscleo1880]

Saw your name on Saltydkdan's channel and decided to check you out. So glad I did, I haven't laughed this hard in so long, great job. XD

[@joniivee]

Yo thank you so much, that means a lot

[@SquidellaButCool]

I think the funniest part about all of this is I just found your channel today and it was because youtube recommended me this video

[@karinyupinyan]

Picture this Christian Baby has an axe and it's about to destroy your copy of Pac Man 2 for the Super Nintendo would you stop being an atheist?

[@angelthingjenny]

oh, rad, the christian baby guy uploaded a new video!

[@moostrue_2771]

This is the most I've laughed at one of your videos. Sorry if you take that the wrong way but this was great

[@SsjkidsSaveCosmo08]

You will now forever be known as the Christian Baby guy

[@gaminglakitu]

I would love to have some stream highlights between longer videos because these are always entertaining to me. Plus it allows you to take more time between bigger videos to make them the best you can 👍

[@gracileferrante4313]

12:08 I like to think it's the same baby, and you just couldn't find its parents, so you graciously adopt Christian baby

[@ZulaCrash]

We're not making fun of babies? :(

[@joniivee]

I'm sorry, ZulaCrash. Not now.

[@PumpkinZebub]

Great video from the Christian Baby KZbin Channel.

[@sam3851]

Liking and commenting in hopes that this'll blow up and my favourite youtuber will forever be known as The Christian Baby Guy

[@TheOrderlyHobbit]

Why do I love this discussion so damn much Please consider adopting a Christian baby so it can give you more Christian baby hypotheticals okay thankuxxx

[@caitlinabbott7895]

What is Ms Pacman? I only know Christian Baby

[@GINTegg]

The answer can only be found playing Super Monkey Ball Jr

[@Pepagg8]

Imagine if your christian baby turns out to be miss pacman and it pulls out a gun and says "its me or the video" what do you do?

[@hergzcool]

i would not do anything for a cristian baby

[@KatZEdition]

I only found you due to Christian Baby, this baby has given me faith

[@RaineRyanRudnick]

not even one second in I'm hit with top 5 gamecube games, already amazing work

[@maxfight5744]

Can the fan base name be Christian Babies? 😂

[@mudkipconoissuer6201]

Atheists, what if you were a superhero and you were fighting a supervillain and they were holding a Christian baby and said, "Now choose, let die the atheism you love or suffer the Christian baby!" and they drop the Christian baby, still an atheist?

[@Unholy_Tactician]

Fun fact (to me): Christian Baby propelled me to subscribe. This shit has me laughing for 20 minutes. Lmao, what is my life?! 😂

[@JaxCoolKartunes]

Christian Baby threats that he will have a big diarrhea blast if his Atheist babysitter won't draw a cross and pray.

[@miyazukini]

this sounds like horror stories that spread around playgrounds, like saying bloody mary bloody mary bloody mary to the bathroom mirror

[@rogercheetoofficial]

I just want to know if this baby was born Christian, as in born into a Christian family, or BORN Christian, as in born with a full understanding of contemporary Christian cosmology as laid out by Christian scholars

[@JaxCoolKartunes]

Sorry to burst your bubble but the Baby is only Christian when he does those threats he's actually agnostic .

[@davidvaldez1093]

Imagine that a christian baby has two cows

[@poncut5074]

For the longest time, when I saw your channel name, I thought it said Jonji.. Can I still call you that?

[@joniivee]

Lmao sure

[@Ceradeez]

you just don't make em like you used to i miss christian baby Jonii

[@rin_reverie]

6:44 Assume a spherical baby

[@acelyag8594]

Let's face it, the algorithm has a sinister agenda.

[@FoxerTails]

Yo, this is pretty funny.

[@victordennis9913]

gay baby jail

[@Maxxieuguu]

You should totally make this your last video. This would be a great way to go out.

[@GokaiPlatinum]

I thought your name was Joe Knee

[@marcog2270]

If a Christian Baby were to tell you not to subscribe to Jonii, would you do it?

[@senthenerd5332]

christian baby

[@laslosermcuseless1574]

I understand the vibe of the Benjamin shapero image but also that man isn't Christian. He might be a baby though

[@joniivee]

Yeah it's less the faith and more the shit argumentation style

[@xruffel]

And his name was Albert Einstein.

[@emilianoaventura5295]

Cannot wait for Christian Baby 2, hope you make the right choice

[@Kosmaco]

catholic toddler or something idk i didn't read the manga

[@sinsloves4361]

yey

[@GravePrower_VT]

The intro saved me from unsubscribing on this wasn’t intentional W channel

[@TangledLion]

This is transcendent

[@timelyenigma]

Hey atheists, what if you uploaded a video called "Christian Baby" and it became your most viewed video. What now?