Christian Boundaries: 5 Personal Boundaries for Christians

Christian boundaries can be vague. But if Christians want to live a healthy life, Christians need boundaries in their life, dating, marriages, and workplaces. Here are 5 areas in a Christian's life where there needs to be boundaries.
(Video) Emotional Boundaries for Christians in Dating: • 4 Ways to Avoid Emotio...
(Video) 5 Christian Dating Boundaries • 5 Christian Dating Bou...
(Article) What Does the Bible Say About Boundaries? applygodsword.c...
FREE eBook: The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness: applygodsword.c...
BOOKS and BIBLE STUDIES, by Mark Ballenger:
(ON SALE) The One: How to Know and Trust God’s Sovereign Plan for Your Future Marriage www.amazon.com...
The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness www.amazon.com...
Intertwined: Our Happiness Is Tied to God’s Glory www.amazon.com...
Redeemed Like David: How to Overcome Sexual Temptation www.amazon.com...
Never Quit: A 5 Week Small Group Bible Study on the Power of Prayer www.amazon.com...
Basic Transformation: A Small Group Bible Study on the Basics of Christianity and Transformation www.amazon.com...
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[@GrimSoldat]

Thank you Pastor Mark. I think my biggest struggle, personally, is learning how to balance personal boundaries, while also remaining loving (as described in Galatians 5 & 1 Corinthians 13). I think a lot of other Christians struggle in this area too. I have met far too many people in my life who would manipulate me and use my own conscience against me, so that they can have their way.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Last night I got off the phone at 10:30pm which was way too late but I set a boundary with the person I was talking to and said I needed to go to bed. It’s hard to set boundaries sometimes.

[@clarambasisya3335]

Thanks for reminding us about this topic. We can easily forget to put boundaries especially at the beginning of a relationship or even for our relatives. Thanks for the video.

[@waldensiansylph4869]

Thank you so much for this. A little over a yr ago I had met this charming, educated young man in my town. But he was orthodox christian, and I'm SDA. I thought maybe it could work, it's that time of life to meet someone and there were barely any SDA men in my town. But I found that he just had a semblance of Christianity, but not the kind that deeply effects the life. I soon discovered he really liked wine, the night life, etc. I was so grateful for the red flags, but it was very hard to be honest with myself and not offend him. I had thought he could change, but he was very entitled, he felt the relationship had to work out, and scoffed at what he called my "boundaries" at wanting to be friends first and not being physical at all. He thought my missionary dreams were silly. But he tried to make me feel guilty for halting any budding relationship, and got manipulative. That I would never find anyone with my standards. But you know what? He's not God, and those kinds of people have no idea. I just couldn't let that relationship work, and had to be honest with myself, the kind of life I wish to live. Everyone has to choose for themselves the life they will lead. No one will do that for them.This very month a year ago, I decided no way. I had to choose for myself and not live someone else's dreams. Boundaries are healthy. Well, I got out of there, that town, everything, my parents and family were so supportive. And many other wonderful things have happened since then. I don't know where life will lead, but I know it will be beautiful, it's beautiful right now- my job, my friends, everything- not perfect (what is in this world?) but absolutely what I need. I love life. Whoever I meet, I know it will be someone who shares my faith, values, and dreams. It will be as wonderful as life has been so far. During that pivotal time, was this quote from an interview someone randomly fb messaged me (and many other things, and my closest friends, and prayers, and divine appointments I experienced around that time- from the few who knew and even those who didn't know what was going on, bc I'm pretty reserved) that stood out to me, that carried me through. "If I embrace who I am, it will open doors, not shut them... also, if the open door before you does not fit your faith, then I argue: Do Not walk through that door. The door that God has for you will fit your faith." -Devon Franklin in an interview with Oprah. Thank you for your video about boundaries, just so validating for some of us who need to hear this.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Thanks so much for sharing this with us, and I'm so glad you are enjoying the AGW channel!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yeah he could have been a narcissist. That's the worst type of person to be in a relationship with.

[@eileen66]

amen sis. this comment helped me out a lot

[@trishg8852]

Thank you so much...I'm still practicing putting up boundaries. I think it's more challenging for empaths. I read the book you mentioned, and even got to meet Dr. Cloud @ a conference. 😀

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

That's awesome, I love Dr. Cloud's books. Probably my favorite was 9 Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed in Love and Life

[@jewishbride5010]

My boundaries have been crossed over from a very young age unto now and I am so through with people crossing my boundaries! Father God, in accordance with this word and 1 john 4:1-3, 2 corinthians 5:16-17, romans 8:5-6, romans 13:9-10, 1 john 2:15-16, john 3:16 I bind myself not to believe any spirit that is not of God, I bind myself not to regard anyone according to the flesh, binding myself not to set my mind to the flesh, binding myself to do no harm to anyone or to accept anyone doing harm, binding myself not to be influenced by worldly values above biblical values, in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah!

[@shaytrilly]

1) don’t believe everything that people say in this world. When God gives you clear truth don’t settle for the lies. 1 John 4:1-3 2) Identity know who you are. Find a niche that you encourage. No matter what role you play in this life your ultimate identity is found in Christ 2 Corin 5:16-17 3) Thought life don’t just pay attention to behavior and actions guard your thoughts Romans 8:5-6 4) Morality Gods laws and what he says in his word live life Christ love God, obey his command and love others Romans 13:9-10 5) Around relationships; Friends, family, romantically. Be loving and kind to worldly people but don’t be unequally yoked with them 1 john 2:15-16

[@GodsProphet23]

Yea this lady I worked with told me and this female that I liked was disrespecting me we was unequally yoked I was more for god she’s believes in god but parties with the devil Monday /Saturday can you explain that for me? and I try to make amends with her but it went awful

[@shaytrilly]

@@GodsProphet23 i apologize that I’m late responding I took a break from KZbin but based on what you are saying she’s not for you. Bad company corrupts good morals.

[@meticulous16_yass36]

1. Beliefs salvation, growth, today was the lords day 2.Identity in Christ music 3.thought life behavior, action 4.morality protect ourselves, respect other people 5.guarded towards other people, loving Dare to dream

[@angelicsparkles]

Looking forward to watching your other videos on boundaries!!! TY :)

[@WalkingScriptureWithShanna]

"Boundaries" is a super important book and I also highly recommend to read as an individual or a group

[@webbtherapy]

Thank you for sharing your Biblical knowledge on this important topic. I am still trying to overcome the anger I feel when Christians try to overcome my boundaries about my relationship with the Lord. God has given me the power to discern when they are not loving me. They are standing between me and God to control me!

[@ladybug6055]

Love this love this. I love the fact that I can careless about the toxic people and their unhealthy judgement of others who are always trying to come in with their meddling and trying to say what they believe as far as the people I don't need around or in my business and most of the people who a worldly toxic respond to the healthy and positive boundaries are those who are more if the world yet act as if they are assigned with some God that supports their toxic unhealthy habits trying to have back at me behind the very true praying heart to heart prayer that I'm waiting for God to another these people being removed. ❤️ A blessing that will even me so much ease and joy for the rest of my born again happy joyous and free life. I know to whom I belong to and it's not them thank the Lord ❤️

[@joedobie4660]

Thank you for your time and knowledge

[@maryswenson5357]

Yes I've learned in my 20s that I really had to stick to my boundaries. Like your perspective on how it translates to respecting others as well. Been trying to get better at not cussing and I never thought this is really offensive to someone else around me. Thanks I'll keep working on it

[@matthewmanion1074]

I need advice about keeping my tongue from bad advice bad wisdom bad influence & swearing

[@renebarcenas9491]

I am confused because jesus gave his life for everybody. He came as a servant. If I Read Luke 6:27-49 and I don't see no boundaries there from what God wants us to behave and take things on how people treat us. So its hard to put personal boundaries

[@migdaliamojica7123]

Amen, this is very true. And I have addressed these things out. No one should be crossing boundaries of any one. It's TRUE all these subject you just explain it what I kee po addressing all the time. I thank God that I am not wrong. But I pray to God that all of it end soon. Cause this video lets of it is what I've been going through. It not because I am not strong but because people go behind me and think I dont see what there doing. Then they wonder why you push away from them or dont want nothing to do with them. God bless you.🍂🍂🍂

[@Myralovingbooks]

Another great video! I would love to hear more book recommendations from you for christians!

[@missymell1118]

Hey Mark, could you plz explain more about the fifth one ( I know the Bible says to love you family and respect your brothers and sisters and obey your parents) but if your family is from the world if they are not Christian and don’t believe in Jesus, how would we keep those boundaries and not be effected by them. Thank you again for your videos, God bless you.

[@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239]

Really good stuff. Thank you for this!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

My pleasure Anna!

[@BrandNewRedeemed]

I still wonder why I don't have enough confidence to not let someone control me. I'm trying hard not to be like this but its easy to fall back and think someone knows more than me and to allow them to start controlling just because I believe I'm not enough alone... I don't know what this is, but I'm tired of it. Like people who are older than me love to exert their influence over me a lot lately (I'm a new mom to two toddlers) and bring me down at the same time. My children's father, etc. Like do I have a big sign on my head that says 'trash talk me please' or is it that I'm just too sensitive to their treatment? I just don't want my kids to see me living under the roof of someone who does that to me because it's not love. Maybe I need to trust that Christ knows what He's doing in me even though I don't know what to do and I should take pride and confidence in that weakness as Paul says?

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Being a part of local church can help you learn balance and have others around you to help you glorify God in relationships

[@BrandNewRedeemed]

@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger Understood. I think I need to find the right group.

[@rtr4342]

can you please do a video on "christian freedom"?

[@loribixler1939]

I need to reread that book

[@zz-t8109]

You're so wonderful!!!

[@viaivory8383]

Your videos are a blessing! Thanks so much!

[@valeriedhodson3014]

Thank you so much for this video. Could you do one on how to keep boundaries please. I have an embarrassing question relating to this. I made the mistake of assuming Christians would act Christian like and that because I am forty something and so was my date there would be no issues. But there was. How you do nicely tell a date to keep their hands and lips to themselves? How do you make clear you believe sex is for just marriage? When do say it and how without making them feel like you are marriage hungry? I feel like at my age I should know this. But here we are and I dont. I like to keep the flow in a date, have the date be no pressure, yet still not get physical at till there is a meaningful relationship. And for sure not sex before marriage. It seems Christians my dont wait any more. My date actually told me to just relax and go with the flow after I said I like to wait. It was like he was 15 pressuring me. I thought my experience would be more mature and less high school pressure.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

This is a great question which I will add to my list. I would first off just say it even if you are not sure of the best way. You will learn a lot by they person's response to you. It sounds like you now know this guy is not ready to be in a Christian marriage. This video here might help too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fIu7mqprg6arl9k

[@valeriedhodson3014]

@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger thank you so much

[@jessicarainsford7609]

Firstly age doesn’t equal wisdom so don’t feel foolish. I used to feel almost embarrassed to bring up Jesus and my scriptural values that are rare these days. If Jesus Christ is your lord and saviour you have nothing to lose and nothing to fear. Also a man/woman that lives everyday for God and seeks a Christian relationship would be wanting to connect to your soul not your body because the bible tells us to wait till marriage. The bible also tells us to both be unequally yoked so do your heart a favour and don’t date these men that don’t live for God. Because where will that go?

[@mattstevens7601]

It’s similar to parenting toddlers: after my toddler crosses a boundary I say it once as a gentle reminder. Eg “I can’t let you throw the toy”. If they repeat the action I say “this is your second reminder..” The third time it’s their “last chance” and if they do it again then they get a consequence. In a date with a pushy person I’d probably do just one reminder and a last chance before walking out.

[@eileen66]

i would run if a guy tells me to just relax, been there done that and still recovering. Its hard but i think you gotta be strong in your faith and dont let this man or any other mans opinions or feelings keep you from obeying God. maybe pray and ask God if he sent you this man or is he a distraction from the devil.

[@miguelnorris4763]

Not friendly but respectful. For those that choose to be friendly there is an option in the scriptures about it. Say for those who choose to be friendly. But to factor into a form of respect and grounded ness. It says save yourself and a righteous man loves correction. With those add the righteous man (human) judges all things.

[@brendapearson6595]

Joseph Hockenhull Michael Hockenhull

[@israeliana]

I realize the stock images are gone. 😲

[@rosem.3533]

Btw, great book...I read it awhile ago and I think I will re-read.👍👍

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

It's a classic!

[@mariahconklin4150]

I always try to find my identity in other people. I know that this is something that I need to write to on. I do feel like God is changing my heart but I still go back to my old ways at times. What I’m struggling with is finding a church I enjoy the one I do like doesn’t start back up until January…but the best church I like is in New York and I’m in CA. Then another church I like the person I just started seeing goes there and so that would be pretty uncomfortable to me to go there because I’m feeling like it’s way too soon. 😔 idk how much longer I can wait to join a church and serve though and I don’t want to just join any church. I know January isn’t that long but still. 😔

[@brendajones9941]

Thanks Brother amazing

[@LJP12330]

thank you Mark!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

My pleasure!

[@monicamanivannan2534]

What's the third one?

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Our thoughts 6:08

[@rosem.3533]

Amen!

[@katherinelydon7306]

Hey man you have to be guarded against some fellow Christians too. Some non believers are kinder than Christians and less judgmental.

[@jackjones3657]

The Boundaries book by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend covers healthy boundaries still further.

[@qwik123456]

Could you do a segment on dealing Christians who are in the world for example professing their salvation yet are into pre-marital sex overt aggression and excessive vulgarity

[@Machi74005]

qwik123456 The answer to that is those people are likely to not even be saved to begin with. See 1 John 3:6-10.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

This video and article may help applygodsword.com/6-signs-to-know-if-you-are-saved/

[@jessicarainsford7609]

People think they can just say they are Christian, they may even go to church every week but God knows the heart and if you are not constantly evaluating yourself making sure to live in Gods word then you aren’t a follower of Jesus because you aren’t following him. These people don’t walk as Christians.

[@mongeyaz]

Thoughts have the power to drift us away from God or to run to Him for safety. Based on my personal experiences, I now pray for protection and wisdom. I emphasize on asking God for wisdom. By having wisdom, you will know the importance of Christian boundaries and learn to actually apply them to your life.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Amen Yazmin, well said!

[@annabelle1471]

you’re helpful praise God. thanks

[@godsoriginal4540]

I love your videos! You make things easy to understand! Thanks for the scripture references. Also do you think you could do a video about friends, christians and non christians?

[@dehsa38]

Would that you had been the father I never had, to give me a talk like that; and old enough to be my grand child...I've read that book- highly recommend it!!

[@joseeniznik5643]

Thanks Mark, I really appreciate your help. God bless.

[@rogerbrady2003rab]

Love the way you explain the scripture addressing crucial topics. Short, sweet and to the point.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

So glad you find these videos useful :)

[@SparksAdvice]

So you tell your mother for instance, "I've got a new boundary: I don't want you trashing my wife behind her back anymore". And the moment you set that boundary, expect her to act exactly like the pharaoh. "Yeah right. Whatever. Not gonna happen". So she continues trash talking your wife. And so you send the first plague, the second plague, the third plague, etc. Until she finally gets it and realizes, "Oh so you were serious about that." And you might think "gee that's a lot of work to get people to realize a boundary is serious". And to that I say, "It's been true since the time of the Pharaoh. It's no less true today" And just so we're clear, those plagues are symbolic. Do not send your mother a truck load of frogs or turn her faucet water into blood. Not a good idea. But you do need some kind of consequence.

[@miguelnorris4763]

Not friendly but respectful. For those that choose to be friendly there is an option in the scriptures about it. Say for those who choose to be friendly. But to factor into a form of respect and grounded ness. It says save yourself and a righteous man loves correction. With those add the righteous man (human) judges all things.

[@PassionsForHer]

This is a great video. Every single thing said was soo good and exactly what I needed to hear

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

I'm so glad this was useful to you Tee!

[@SuperAllison20]

i didn't have boundaries and i got taken advantage of royally

[@shesnaturallydope6298]

Mark last night I seen Jesus on a white horse with people on them as well behind him dream what does it mean?

[@audreygrace6464]

Hard to do when your family traps you

[@FaithLoveAdventure]

This is really good. Thank you!

[@kaceyakin619]

Great message, I needed this

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

So glad it was helpful!

[@shesnaturallydope6298]

🤦🏽‍♀️😢

[@yhwh9491]

2:00

[@yhwh9491]

4:30

[@summer77nikkie]

So helpful. Thank you!

[@oliviablake4378]

This is really good! Thanks

[@rtr4342]

i needed this. thank you.

[@connyslife2926]

Got to disagree with no.1. It says test them, not ignore them and stay stubbornly without reflection to what you think is true. How else then when we pray about it, talk to God, discuss new perspectives with others...how else is our faith supposed to grow?

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Nobody said, "ignore them and stay stubbornly without reflection to what you think is true." That's not the point at all, but you are disobeying the word of God if you become unequally yoked