Christian Singleness, Loneliness, & 5 Healthy Ways to Respond

Christian Singleness, Loneliness, & 5 Healthy Ways to Respond
What follows is a list of 5 healthy ways to respond to the loneliness that often accompanies Christian singleness.
#1: Don’t Deny Your Loneliness. It Will Only Embitter You
#2: Use Loneliness in Christian Singleness as Motivation to Pursue What God Has Made You For
#3: Put Forth Effort to Find a Spouse (Go on a date!)
#4: Supplement Your Lack of a Spouse with Other Good Relationships
#5: Use Your Loneliness to Grow With Christ
For more on Christian singleness and loneliness, click here: applygodsword.com/christian-si...
Books and small group Bible studies by Mark Ballenger:
Intertwined: Our Happiness Is Tied to God’s Glory www.amazon.com/Intertwined-Ha...
Redeemed Like David: How to Overcome Sexual Temptation www.amazon.com/Redeemed-Like-...
The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide...
Never Quit: A 5 Week Small Group Bible Study on the Power of Prayer www.amazon.com/dp/1979772673/
Social Media and Contact Info:
Facebook: / applygodsword
Twitter: / apply_godsword
Email: [e-mail]
#ChristianSingleness #ChristianSinglenessLoneliness

[@danielreed3718]

I’m hiding in my room and just sobbing because how lonely I am.

[@jennifert358]

Aww sweet. Hope you are feeling more encouraged.

[@OrchestralOrg]

@@keithsantana145 *is that really what it is?*

[@OrchestralOrg]

*i black in wrath - indignation - violently forcefully deprived of my need and my right to a partner. in my case, it's a conspiracy.*

[@alliedmondson68]

I’m at the point I can’t even cry any more I hate it so freaking much

[@ianjones2731]

@@keithsantana145 Totally understand what you're saying I'm totally over the fakeness of modern females however I don't think we should ever put Jesus into human hypothetical situations he deserves far more honour than that.

[@nightsky8012]

Thank you. Being lonely hurts.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Yes, it can be painful, God bless as you seek the Lord's comfort

[@shinenjob465]

1. Don’t deny it. 2. Pursue purpose 3. Seek a partner 4. Seek for other relationships 5. Seek Christ

[@carlylebg]

@The S Word eh, just put #5 at the top.

[@misslinda772]

Thank you.

[@John-pu5kz]

Seek Christ should be first.

[@saraalyssa3655]

I think patience is the hardest thing to overcome and letting people you like go is hard as well.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Yes, that is hard

[@AlyssaMarie-vr8cc]

I need more Christian friends. Just one at all would be nice.

[@TTundragrizzly]

Count me in. I'll be your friend.

[@PGOuma]

@@TTundragrizzly same!

[@hschut777]

Me to greetings from the Netherlands 🇳🇱

[@jessica-jadeeasie3932]

Same! @jessjadexo_ :)

[@zoloswaqqer]

Alyssa Libert me too

[@duncanmurphy9762]

Man I have been struggling like absolute crazy and have been so for nearly 5 years and it has broken me. I never thought I'd have to be on my own for so long. It's like being in prison.

[@ms.beltran8895]

Totally understand that I’m in the same situation

[@johnlocke4670]

I really do want to meet the right person soon, but I'm afraid. As a Christian man, I feel like it is my job to pursue and if I don't, I'll never marry. But if I do pursue, I become vulnerable and risk getting my heartbroken which has happen a few times already. Every girl I dated has broken up with me, lied about the reason for the break up, and then went off with someone else. After I became a Christian, I thought things might be different now, but the same thing happened again. I dated a girl at my church. She broke up with me saying she was just too busy for a relationship right now. Few months later, I go to a lifegroup, and here she comes with her new boyfriend. Already kissing each other and other physical things. I didn't do those things with her because I want to save all the physical stuff for marriage. Sometimes I feel like women may think I don't like them if I'm not being affectionate enough but I'm just trying to save the affections for marriage. It really hurts being lied to. And it's this kind of stuff that makes me not want to take any more risks. What's worse is that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and so I have trouble building a relationship with someone to begin with. I also have a hard time telling if someone is lying to me. I tend to think what people say is just true which is why I was hurt when I found out she lied about being too busy for a relationship. I don't want to be with her anymore, and so I'm not hung up on her, I'm just afraid that this pattern is going to keep repeating itself for all my future relationships. I have this fear that people on the autistic spectrum like me(even if its mild) have no chance at love and marriage. I often feel like any woman I try to date would rather be with someone else other than me. I feel dependent on other people to tell me if I'm being treated right in a relationship. I'm still praying for the right girl to come along, but I'm still afraid of pursuing. But I think the real challenge is to surrender all those desires to God. It seems like everytime we desire something it can reach to a point of idolatry which is never good for us. Idolatry is a very vicious sin. It's not like the other sins. Other sins you have to stop doing things or thinking things. For idolatry, you have to stop WANTING things too much, and this can feel like something we have no control over.

[@joelbradshaw7810]

Maybe try reading books on dating. One that helped me out a lot was called the 3% man. It explains a lot of the exact problems you are going through.

[@xMCxVSxARBITERx]

I feel you! I want someone I will truly love and who will love me back! I don't believe any good love can be built on lies. Sadly, many women (and men) are afraid of telling the truth or even being honest with themselves (maybe because of insecurities or feelings of guilt or whatever). I have wanted to find a wife for over 10 years and I feel like I will never have her. I constantly feel like giving up and feel that a life without a wife, whom I would love, is worse than death! I have tried to tell myself that I don't need anyone else (but God) to be happy! But, honestly, in my heart I know that I need a woman, no matter what other christians say or think! So, I pray that God would give me someone or take away my desperate longing altogether! But without that longing, I wouldn't even want anything else in life. All I want is to find someone to love, and to have God centered in our relationship as the origin of love. Maybe it is how they say, that one finds love when not looking for it. If so, I'm screwed, for I am ALWAYS LONGING! Maybe I'm doing something wrong... Maybe she is to come... Or maybe this is my personal tribulation until death, because the devil knows our weaknesses... Oh God help me!

[@Yahshuaismyeverything]

Awwww im waiting for the right guy that can wait for marraige to be active with too. Im sorry u had to go through that ik its tough but youll meet the one someday

[@xMCxVSxARBITERx]

@@Cloudforest811 What makes you think he hasn't "accepted Jesus"? Accepting Jesus as the only way to God and the only hope for salvation doesn't guarantee constant happiness in the present world! Yes, I agree that Jesus is everything we need...for our SALVATION! But He isn't everything we need in life! "Man does not live by bread alone, but by all the words that proceedeth out of the mouth of God!" Surely you would not insist that we stop eating bread and drinking water solely because "Jesus is everything"? Same goes for finding someone to love! "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." and "Because of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." It is true though that if we can remain joyful in solitude with God, it is a good thing! But that's not for everyone! Most people need a companion!

[@brbinamara1778]

I understand you my brother in.why don't we connected?

[@CrystalFlames]

What’s frustrating is when you’re already in your 30s and no one is looking at you, you can’t help but think something is wrong with you

[@doragarcia6125]

Solyn Cassia you have to own it at any age! If you love yourself->it’ll shine through you! You can’t love others if you don’t live yourself first! Jesus said to love our neighbors as we do ourselves💝own it, Sis 👸

[@Rick-ih7wp]

So.....what were you doing in your 20s? No one good enough for you?

[@EBThisThat]

I feel *terribly* lonely especially since I lost my parents and not having anyone around me to talk to. I am doing my best to make friends and really making strides.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Alchymyst 02 so glad you are making strides. Keep moving forward. Sometimes you have to walk through the valleys to get to the peaks. God bless

[@EBThisThat]

Yes, and what's even better is my friend is inviting me to her church and I'm going to take that invite (even though I already belong to a church !)

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

That's perfect!

[@octaviousmckenzie2362]

RoseofSharon hi I am so sorry I have lost my niece last year she been shoot by gang

[@chinmayeechinnu3575]

god bless you

[@SavedSis]

My loneliness mostly come from the fact that I don’t have any friends. I’m 20 years old and spend most of my time with my family or alone at school. I’m very grateful for them. But sometimes I get very sad when I see others my age hanging out with their friend groups and going on vacations. I ask myself why I have such a hard time meeting the right people? Maybe I was just not meant to have friends in the first place and God is trying to show me that. The feelings of loneliness that attack me feel very heavy and demonic.

[@alecvillareal450]

Same Sister... God bless. I know what yoy feel. We can be friends btw. maybe you have a facebook?

[@CoachOlali]

The notion that God did not mean for you to have friends is a ridiculous notion. It's not biblical. I read the bible diligently and this is not true at all. Not only do verses not biblically back this, I don't know any man in the whole Bible who was healthy and didn't have friends. You should probably look at yourself and what you are or are not doing. Do not let anyone encourage this behavior. There are 2 verses I know of the top of my head concerning friendship

[@CoachOlali]

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens his friend

[@CoachOlali]

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. -Ecclesiastes 4:9‭-‬10

[@CoachOlali]

You need to read your bible. So many notions that you can form are of the evil spirit. Being by yourself is poisonous and can lead you down a destructive path

[@Ro2008sie]

The only thing that makes me feel guilty about my loneliness is opening up about how painful it is to others. The only single people I know are older than me and have been divorced and say “they aren’t interested in doing that again” which I don’t believe. But they make me feel guilty by saying let God Be your husband and other platitudes. And yes God can be those things but I am also a big physical touch love language person and imagining or wanting God to hold me I’m sorry isn’t enough when I need to be held. And no one seems to understand. Thanks for this video BTW, I feel like God allowed it in my feed at the perfect time. It’s from 2 yrs ago and I have never come across it before.

[@ldwoods3237]

I pray for you because I feel the same way. I know God is faithful and awesome but I do also desire human interaction NOT sex right now from a genuine and kind Godly man. All the spiritual rhetoric gets old to me at times 😔

[@sandramiller8701]

I'm a widow a have been since 1998 ,,,I've been praying for a worthy Christian Companion a man that will be my best friend to be there for me some one to share time w in a clean a good respectful way.

[@jessicamerced9116]

I find myself getting impatient and drained with lonliness, sometimes I just lay in bed, cry, take a nap, then feel bad I'm being lazy and ungrateful because Jesus has done so much for me and comforts me when I need Him, so why am I moping? These are the things that go through my mind, but the Lord always comes through and brings me comfort, then I enjoy my singleness again. It's like a roller coaster, sometimes I'm content being single, sometimes I cry in bed..it's all part of the process 😅🙏

[@MayaLove777]

I feel really lonely and sad I keep trying to organize time to hang out with people at church but they keep letting me down I just don't know what to do anymore

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Katie Thorley sometimes lonely and sad is unavoidable, but God is always there in the pain. Also, keep trying to meet with people, even if it fails sometimes eventually it will work out

[@KawaiiJimmyMcGill]

Katie Thorley Same. 😔 maybe it’s just not meant for us right now? I’ve been wanting an accountability partner and have been opening up more with my church family and everything but no luck. Idk...

[@octaviousmckenzie2362]

Katie Thorley hi I read you message I feel the same way as you are

[@rosesmith000]

I have the same experience, I try to organize time for fellowship and 8 out of 10 times people turn out to be unreliable.

[@Clauds71]

Katie Thorley don’t give up Katie I get it too but even if just one other person turns up then I know that’s it’s helping someone because it’s helping me 😊

[@carieosborne5445]

i had experience extreme feeling of loneliness one day and i had a dream... in dat dream my face was scar and i was really ugly but a man hug me and told me that he would love me no matter what. when i think about it later I realise that there was nothing romantic as in lover thing but it was heart touching and so overwhelming... i felt like it was God..

[@lulamamkhize3744]

Patience is the worst thing that one has to give themselves into. Its been 6 years and decided to wait on God's time but at some point I feel like there's something wrong with me. Been forever praying for the right man of faith but still holding on to God's timing.

[@brianhood8827]

Nothing wrong with you, we live in a crazy time, very hard for all of us to meet others ! Social media has ruined one on one social skills ! Stay strong my friend

[@serenalo3801]

Thankyou for this video. I needed this today. I am so lonely and literally all my friends have just left me to it. I was struggling today but watching this now I can use that loneliness for fuel. God bless you x

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

I'm so glad this video was helpful to you!

[@14xx07]

It hurts at every turn. :( reaching 30, in Asia, I’m like a permanent furniture in a thrift store. :,(

[@ms.beltran8895]

I’ve been single for years. I don’t go out at all to meet anyone .

[@annsarkar5724]

I feel terribly lonely even in love. He didn’t care for me when I was sick. I pray Lord helps me :)

[@brianhood8827]

Stay strong !

[@AshyAkakpo]

Yeah I shouldn’t deny it - because I’m starting to get bitter buttttt I have been putting myself in situations but no one good ever comes, people come but they never stay. So I’ve grown so tired now 😔

[@Kblog777]

I came across a great Christian writer online called Jack Zvada who says that loneliness is the toothache of the soul.

[@bko5489]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJPVaqSMqa2knpY ..

[@zakiahart3919]

I’ve been in both spots. I’ve been anxious for relationships then once I got in I wanted out. I’ve been single and have desired marriage.Ive had my heart broken many time so as of now my best advice at my age 35 is to focus on God !! Focus on God and your goals. At the end of the day no men can fulfill this for you! Create your own happiness. I’ve put this decision in Gods hands. Rather I’m single or ever marry.

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

Zakia Hart, maybe the Lord Jesus is returning soon and all this concern about finding a partner will fade away as we see our Messiah coming on the clouds with great glory!

[@ririsrumintan465]

I have the desire to get married. I've been crying cause I missed that I never see. A godly husband, sweet home with sweet children, raised them in Biblical way, this desire so strong. I've try so many things ,date online, try other relationship but not working but no one until right godly man. I've found one Christian guy but he's not like me as I like him. Now I working in country that almost 97% unbeliever. That's hard..

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

That really is hard. I pray the Lord comforts you through this trial.

[@ririsrumintan465]

Thanks Mark!

[@anotherdavidc]

I am sorry that life can seem cruel. It is not that we want to be victims, but we do our best and still no result or understanding.

[@godinme9282]

I feel you! Iv never even dated before

[@laisasaid]

Why seeking Christ is the last step, if it should be the first one? First of all, we all know that not only single people feel lonely, but also married people get lonely all the time! The truly and only medicine for loneliness is SEEKING CHRIST and being truly and completely satisfied in Him. You can be surrounded by friends, family, and even a partner, but if you don't have a solid relationship with God, you will still feel lonely by the end of the day. Second of all, being lonely shouldn't even be the reason why someone should seek a partner. It's a selfish reason to get married, and it doesn't glorify God at all. You'll only glorify God in marriage or in any relationship when you go into it to serve others, and not to be served or to get what you desire.

[@cherylboyd7081]

I agree, God is my companion. I don't feel lonely as every day I'm seeking to be with him and do what he wants me to do which always involves ministering to others. I ask God for divine connections because having the right people around me is so important for my salvation and plan for my life. I don't want someone in it just for company.

[@lanag9318]

God bless you richly for this Mark.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Thank you, may God bless you too :)

[@abigailjularbal8521]

Thank you so much for the encouragement. Keep it up and God bless your page :) 🙏❤️

[@valeriemott3120]

Your videos are a blessing! Thank you

[@stressfreelife9207]

awesome video thanks!

[@sirenamontreala.k.aelibatt4699]

Thank you so much for another helpful video God bless 😊💓

[@peternowadays]

Good Points. Thx a Lot. God bless yah

[@mariar8339]

Thank you for this video, it s really helpfull! God bless you, keep living for Him :)

[@mariathermopolis3131]

Thank you for your fresh point of view ; such a relief

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Maria Thermopolis my pleasure, glad it was helpful :)

[@rosemarymaher6726]

It takes a lot longer than you think for people to accept you and let you in,in my experience. I moved to a new area and found this to be the case.I have been here six years. Some people just would sit next to me and ignore my efforts to be friendly. After five years,they suddenly turned with a big smile and started talking to me. It makes for an interesting study on people,life and social skills. Persevere in being outgoing and friendly with everyone. It is surprising who eventually show themselves to be true friends and reliable.In the process,we develop our social skills. We can be helpful to others and notice their own loneliness and the problems they are often concealing.As a single person you can be friendly and approachable to everyone.Then you can choose who will be in your inner circle of close authentic friends,who are acquaintances,who you share a common interest with ,and who you are ministering to- those who need your support,and can benefit from your life experiences.Of course,the big deal is taking a closer walk with God,and really putting him first in your life.

[@Sandrahans]

Praying day and night to get aman of my life,its hard but i am trusting on the lord

[@alecvillareal450]

lets be friends...

[@Sandrahans]

@@alecvillareal450 hi paul

[@alecvillareal450]

@@Sandrahans Hi, I searched you on facebook and added you....

[@alecvillareal450]

@@Sandrahans (Ok I'll add you my name in fb is Alec

[@helgathegreat]

I see this and I just have tears in my eyes because non at all has interest in me,Christian or non Christian.

[@cprado4867]

Great vid !

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Carlos P thx and God bless!

[@mariusoprea1178]

Who is lonely?🙋‍♂️ Good bless you all!🤗

[@latterrain3808]

🙋🏼‍♀️

[@cynax7757]

I needed that advice growing up.

[@bko5489]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJPVaqSMqa2knpY ..

[@Rick-ih7wp]

At 5:50, " use that loneliness to seek out other healthy relationships," AND if you are starving, use your starvation to cook dinner! GOT IT!

[@anotherdavidc]

I hesitate to bring it up because many people will say stuff that has nothing to do with me. I confess I struggle with God on this one. When I start to think about it, I feel frustrated or resentful.

[@octaviousmckenzie2362]

I like this topic could you please make more videos on this

[@paulthompson6382]

I’ve been struggling with loneliness and depression now for about a year and a half

[@AnnaBreit]

This is a big issue for me. I’ve had one short relationship since being baptized on Easter 2016. Over the past 4 years I’ve engaged secular and religious activities to improve myself and make myself a better partner (meditation/mindfulness , 12 steps, intensive therapy, pastoral counseling, reading the Bible, etc) and nothing is happening. It’s so frustrating watching my friends meet people and go on dates. I can’t even get someone to go on a date. It’s hurtful and frustrating and really weighs on my self esteem and self worth.

[@dezerismith7529]

Women aren't To look for a spouse and we have to be careful about how we put ourselves out there, because as women we don't wanna give off desperate signals.

[@14xx07]

:/ i don’t know if I can handle this burden.

[@bko5489]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJPVaqSMqa2knpY Hope you like this song. God bless you

[@xMCxVSxARBITERx]

I feel very lonely. I've never been with a woman in any way. I would rather die than never have a woman I could love! What if I can't love, because of my shallowness? How do I look past outer beauty and focus on substance? I am afraid that I couldn't love a woman unless I am attracted to her. I want a christian wife whom I can love for the rest of my life! I have tried to think that I don't need a woman only to want one even more! I'm 24 and been wanting what I feel I will never have, for over 10 years. I doubt in God and myself. Frustration is all I feel! I want to give up on everything and just lie down and stop breathing.

[@doragarcia6125]

xMCxVSxARBITERx Well, you’re on the right path, not on lying down to stop breathing, but in admitting “shallowness”! “Beauty is fading and charm is deceptive, but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised”! Seek ye first The Kingdom of God, and ALL these things shall be added to you”! But, it’s not wrong for you to be looking for a beautiful woman! We serve a Good Father->He tells us, “delight yourself in The Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts! 👋

[@mariesavannah2369]

That's why the first commandment says love your God with all your heart mind and soul when we understand that deep truth and we are in love with our savior he will meet all our needs if we count to be fulfill with a man or women love to be happy we will be miserable for true love and happiness come from the lord Jesus Christ only , his love in us can satisfy us and i believe that God don't allow some people to be married because he want them to experience his love first in their live before they can love someone else for with him we cant do nothing but those who seek to love a man or a women before God will hurt themselves, that's what i have learn through my singleness and i am happy to be free to live for my lord and help others

[@jess77surfs]

God keeps shutting down my search but hasn't let me feel a peace about a life of singleness and solitude. I've done alternative community for decades. I'm over it. It's not satisfying.

[@daisyumutoni8957]

Ohh man the loneliness hit me so hard lately and covid isn’t helping. Where I live, online dating isn’t even a thing so.. yea. Anyway I came back to this video and it did help. While I was watching, the Holy Spirit also reminded me that when we pray he does hear us and he answers, let’s carry our burdens to him 🙏🏿

[@hschut777]

I'm in a big church and cannot find people ho wants to be my friend! It's so sad that so much people have this experience! In the world we're I came from I hath always friends, but in church it's really terrible!

[@doragarcia6125]

Harry Schut Friendship comes in stages! It’s definitely not instantaneous! But, being friendly goes a long way! Also, Bible Studies are a great place to build relationships with the goal of loving Jesus💝 or volunteering, missions trips, anything where you help others who are more in need! That’ll quench your thirst for friendships and not to mention loneliness!

[@jacklynalivitsa9170]

As a christian woman, i believe its a man who should pursue me to a date. If no single one is doing that, infact, only married men are very interested in dating single women. How do we react to that?

[@debralebarron7816]

I like the videos too. I am trusting God and waiting for my husband too.

[@ctyler9206]

I think we need to address where this shift of loneliness came from and why. Also, I think we need to understand that romance isn’t the only way we can receive emotional support and intimacy that we crave. Lol the only difference is literally that we can’t have sex if it’s not romance. Christians just need to start being more open and honest.

[@saraalyssa3655]

Single for 20 years and my fear is getting married later in life when I desire to get married kinda young is that wrong?

[@alecvillareal450]

Hello God bless

[@paulthompson6382]

Yes good Christian friends and honest Fellowship is very hard to fine I’m struggling with loneliness and depression now it’s a single mail

[@MarjiAbehero]

I’m not close to anyone. I have friends, know I make a different and that people care. But there’s no one I’m close with or really connect with. I know when I’m lonely it’s a sign to lean in but that’s hard to do when you don’t feel like you enjoy or connect with people. Why’s it so hard to find friends. People seem to only ever be there for a season.

[@bko5489]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJPVaqSMqa2knpY ..

[@pettervaxjo]

Awesome. Hard subject. But you can use microphone to get better sound.

[@Rick-ih7wp]

At 6:22, Loneliness is NOT a special "time in life." It is a condition of existence.

[@chippledon1]

Divorce laws need to be reformed. Scaring men away from marriage!

[@doragarcia6125]

chippledon1 Maybe get a prenup!

[@skiny998]

I'm in my mid twenties and lost all my old friends. I've been single for 4 years since my last girlfriend abandoned me. Since then in the last 4 years I've seen people younger than me meet a spouse, get married and have children. During that entire time I've remained single and barely had a single person to call a friend. I cry out to God everyday year after year and I remain as lonely as ever. What am I doing wrong?

[@doragarcia6125]

LukeT94 well, maybe you’re looking for validity in people! But, God’s Word says “your trust in man will prove to be a snare”! Maybe fall in love with The Lord or get overwhelmed by Him, as His Word says, “seek ye 1st the Kingdom of God, and ALL these things will be added to you”! What you want will happen, as we serve a Good Father, although, we are not to put Him in a box with our own timeline! Haha I say this as I’m really speaking about myself, as well! Haha God bless💞

[@skiny998]

@@doragarcia6125 Thank you Dora

[@shesnaturallydope6298]

Amen🙏🏽

[@bobbysime7332]

I'm going through this loneliness and I'm only 17..

[@bko5489]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJPVaqSMqa2knpY Hope this helps Bobby :)

[@rebeccawhittle147]

Any advise for the larger plus sized Christian women? It seems like I’m invisible most of the time. No guys ask me out. I’ve tried online dating and it was a complete waste of time. Now I’m 34, and I’ve never been on a real date, but I really want to get married. Help!

[@oaklandsoldier5920]

Im 33 years old. Male. Life is brutal for me especially when I'm lonely. I just really struggle with connections with other people. What brings me some peace is that when I die, it will just be me alone. No need for a wife or girlfriend 😔

[@sierrak5688]

oaklandsoldier change ur mindset

[@nanaama5377]

Hello dear

[@doragarcia6125]

oaklandsoldier well, that’s sad to hear! “ As a man thinks->he is”

[@debc5695]

I have dealt with this too long. I have no purpose to live

[@samuelbrown7831]

Talk to me

[@Yahshuaismyeverything]

Don't say that

[@doragarcia6125]

Samuel Brown that’s so awesome you lent yourself as a listening ear! God bless you!

[@terrystarr4793]

When I am at work, or home, or out and about I am so sad, depressed, and very lonely to the point that I actually want to die, and I feel like my hope is being drained day after day when I work my life away. I just don't get it, I don't feel like reading my bible, or praying, and I get so stressed out that I feel as if I am going to explode so I mumble negative things over and over to the point where I feel as if I simply can't stop, like I have tourette syndrome. I get glimpses of hope to do missions but feel the stress of life and know I have to save money and vacation time which is sooooo far away, when I simply want that freedom now.

[@TTundragrizzly]

I feel that. Because I'm there myself. But, I know the true freedom in your heart is in Christ's love for us. That is freedom this world cannot compete with. Trust God, honor him, and believe His promises and the truth. If we honor God he will honor us.

[@bys4ever136]

I love working but l want a companionship and a husband but l meet so many narcissists and l have to walk away and its soooo disappointing l meet so many frogs but no prince and men are chasing me down ungodly men and l just turn away .

[@junraywardleuterio2014]

how can you apply #3, if you are always rejected, denied, discarded, dumped, ignored for your whole life.... singleness is lonely, but i have no choice, i have no one, everyone hates me...

[@sabinastadler]

I have not seen u mention ur wife in any videos. Any divine happenings that's confirmed to you she's the one or how you met and got to where u r? Maybe you should share with us ur story pls

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

sabina Anyango that's a great point, i will do that sometime :)

[@sabinastadler]

ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark and also if we can see her. Hahaha. Anyway mark I need ur advice and possibly prayers too. I have someone we have been friends for four yrs. He leaves in another country though we have met before. I usually would have phases where I would feel something extra and before I could tell him he would be dating someone and I would pull away ain't once they break his heart and it was bad because they were 'public figures ' and public breakups r bad. So now here comes the perfect time. He is single and lately I have gotten a strong urge to pursue and express my feelings, , but it gives me cold stomach, like I'm scared. And it's so weird bcoz i was very content being single and out of the blue.... And I am a better person now, andwhatdrivesmecrazy is he really pursues God, we have prayed sometimes but online u know. However I have consulted God. And I am scared to ask confirmation, what if he doesn't answer, what if I hear my own voice. But last night I asked him to talk to me in a dream. And the man was in my dream, however there was a also another male celebrity who I have no connection wareva but I am still meditating on it. And in the dream there were 4 kids, they were someone else's kids yet my friend /man also sent me a pic with them in the dream and they were happy. I have a feeling it's showing my past relationship versus my relationship with my friend. I have a peace abt him, he is a geniune guy 100. I know. But is he my genuine guy? A life with him meks sense and gives me some peace but I have a fear because I've been single and pure for over a year. I made a video for him I wana give to him on Valentine's, I hope he gets I like him. But IDK even why I'm saying this. U just let me know what u think from all this. Help :)

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

sabina Anyango well, my advice is just take it one step at a time. Often God will speak through the circumstances, so sometimes we need to move forward and wait to see what happens and then through what happens God speaks. God's will is always matched in reality. Not sure if that helps at all but that's just what came to my mind :)

[@bradleychampagne9103]

I feel lonely a lot of the time and have joined a young adults ministry, but they seem a little timid and closed. What's holding me back from seeking a spouse or any personal relationship is my habitual sexual sin. I think I might have to grow a little more in self-control before setting off on that adventure. Should I do it anyway?

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Sexual sin can be devastating to a marriage. I would get some growth in that area before moving forward. You will never be perfect but I would say if you are addicted you should not date until you are not actively indulging the addiction.

[@bradleychampagne9103]

@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger Right. I know to try not to indulge myself. Started the fight in Summer 2017. Been off porn since October, but having trouble with (the other thing) because lately images in my memory are enough to make me climax, as in minimal to no touching necessary. Sometimes I think I need my preist to perform an exorcism on me, lol. Seriously though it's become super easy to fall. I thank God it's not a drug addiction. Psalms I like are 37:3-7, 51:all. Celebrate Recovery Program.

[@brokegirl1452]

It’s better to be single then unequally yoked “Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which. leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Kjv someone should talk about Romans or maybe it was Corinthians about walking away from when someone strays from the church. A lot of loneliness I find happens anymore “I’m thinking of some fruits are for some and others have other fruits along those lines..” walk with God First like Adam. Then he will give the eve no worries ppl. the right community. No man or woman should be idolized besides the point. Read it

[@derrickyazzie5663]

Me I can feel invisible wall blocking me, I'm not sad because I don't think about, I think more on God.

[@insaneoflex01]

I feel like I’m in a catch 22. When I was young I was sexually abused by a female and have had constant experiences of betrayal, deception and abandonment in regards to women. My issues lie in believing that nowadays there isn’t anything like Proverbs 31:10-31 talks about. I feel so jaded and bitter. Please pray for me.

[@lulamamkhize3744]

Keeping you in my prayers 🙏

[@tonycostanzo4276]

people dont like me, its almost like something is telling the other person i am trying to make friend with, to stay away from me its always a demon i know and its been like that now for at least 8 years , i have got use to it and i cant wait for the rapture

[@annanightingale678]

It's not like I'm baby or marriage crazy, I just feel really lonely. All of my close friends are in super committed long-term relationships and they all keep talking about getting engaged, and I feel so unwanted because I'm not with anyone. I've tried to talk about it with them but they just keep telling me the bog standard "You'll find someone" or "It'll happen when you're not looking" and that just makes me feel worse. I know God has a plan, I know his plan for me might be to live a single life, and I am only 17, but I just feel so awful. Please tell me I'm not the only one!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

No, your feelings are very normal. My advice is that you use your singleness to prepare for what you want God to give you. This video may help kzbin.info/www/bejne/apWYe4l6bZKra5o

[@mariav.3227]

Girl you’re not the only one that’s how I feel sometimes but sometimes you have to remember that people won’t satisfy you only God will ..so keep God first I know it’s hard ...but keep on pursing God maybe right now even though you feel like you are ready ..you may not be ready for what Godbis going to give me ..for me it’s easier to type this because I know it’s right and the truth but sometimes we don’t feel what we know A guy won’t fulfill you ..- Happiness and based on Happenings ...so just be patient I know it’s hard sweetie

[@sadetiriana]

Is it really okay for a woman to be proactive about seeking a husband when it's the man that needs to pursue her? I understand, as a woman, we can "put ourselves out there" and "make ourselves available" but should we be the ones reaching out to the men?

[@kenwilliamson7715]

Sade Hemmingsen Yes because feminism makes men afraid of being persecuted.

[@sadetiriana]

First Last hmmm I would still probably wait for the man to ask me. I don't think I'll ever ask a man out on a date

[@beardedgamerdrew5813]

No you should ask them out. Men shouldn't always chase. Im talking to someone now but i make her chase me sometimes. Its give and take, We cant always be the ones to chase. It makes it seem like you women arent interested and we don't wanna come across as needy as well

[@gabrielamartinyuk6438]

Andrew Eloian I have never had to ask a man out and I never will ask a man out. I get asked out plenty- and if a man isn’t asking me out and being a masculine man and pursuing me, he’s not the man for me.

[@xMCxVSxARBITERx]

I'm a "man"...but I'm insecure. If a woman I was interested in came up to me to talk, I would be delighted! I am so scared of rejection that I can barely say hi to someone I am attracted to. I can talk with women I'm not interested in, but why would I? Then it would feel like a game to me. I don't think love is a game. Maybe I'm wrong though, what do I know? I just feel it would be best if I could find someone I was attracted to and who in turn would show interest in me. I try to tell myself that it would be so worth it to dare to say hi and if I didn't get rejected, to finally find someone! But at the same time I don't know if I could handle rejection. If you feel like taking initiative, I would say go for it! Maybe you are the woman/man that the person you are walking up to is waiting for! Or maybe not, who knows? All I know is that I live in constant regret that I am to scared to say hi, and constant frustration because I feel unlovable and constant fear of rejection or never loving someone!

[@anotherdavidc]

Is it selfish to want to be able to share or appreciate some mutual interests in addition to your Christianity? That is a guilty feeling.

[@marekkarasz3776]

What if I been lonely for a long time and I just don’t care about god anymore so instead getting close to god i actually go further away from god because is seem to me that he take people (christians)away from me and girls especially. I don’t care what god is thinking I don’t want to be alone like this suffering

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

marek karasz I'm so sorry to hear of the pain you are going through. I would say that you should feel sad and upset that your desire is not being met but I would not direct those feelings towards God. What if God is preparing you for the right person and is sparing you from marrying the wrong person? It's worse to be with the wrong person than to be with no one. I would be honest with God but seek him rather than reject him. I would also take a strong look at what you could do differently towards women. Perhaps God is not just taking women away from you but perhaps you are doing something relationally that is hindering your chances. We live in a cause and effect world, so sometimes we need to change our behavior to get different results. I hope this helps a bit, God bless brother. Praying for you.

[@marekkarasz3776]

ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger amen brother that help me a lot , thank you

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

So glad brother, keep seeking the Lord, never stop!

[@kenwilliamson7715]

Thats bitterness next comes narcissism then hell or no rapture....you failed the test.

[@NP-km6rm]

Been there, done that. By God's grace, I'm on His side now. Please never rebel against God. That temporary pleasure is very short compared to the eternity spent in hell. Humbly or genuinely ask the Holy Spirit to change your heart before sin kill you. ❤

[@jamiereneemilligan]

I’ve never had love. It hurts my faith, I’ve always been lonely. I actually lie and say I have a boyfriend so I won’t look like a freak. I might as well go back to the bar scene. This sucks. My life has always sucked. It’s not worth living I keep waiting but every day I get more depressed because it never happens. Why do most of the wicked have love and I never have-it’s as if God doesn’t love me. After 44 years no purpose here but punishment and sadness and shame.

[@14canard]

I suggest you to listen to the song Blessings of Laura Story

[@nolancavanaugh406]

My loneliness that is caused from singleness isn’t the feeling that I don’t have anyone its that no one has me

[@Alexis_Wilson]

Im so alone my heart aches

[@SAI03]

I just sent a guy on a message on IG. Let's see what happens.....

[@therabidpancake1]

Call on Jesus

[@bankrooll]

I know that I am very young but God told me that I can't get a girlfriend until I don't know which age but I trust him

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

It's wise to wait until you are mature enough to handle it. God will show you if you are seeking him. God bless

[@sillyquerkylover]

I always tell myself to give my love life to God, if He wants someone to me, then he deals with it because I can't deal with so much love delusion anymore. I know I am only 18 but I realized that I fall in love to easy, and I always fall in love with someone I can't have. I'm feeling so lonely and because of love I have burdens and scars. Never dated but I always got hurt, whether by rejection or rejection because my lifestyle is different. I am starting to trust guys even less and starting fear and hate love, but at the same time I feel lonelier and lonelier. Just the thought of rejection is even scarier... I'm a mess

[@IGOTBL4ckSkilLZ]

Have patience, because I know God is going to deliver you. I would ask you in this moment, if your comment here is still applicable to your current situation, to focus on the traits and characteristics of the man you want to have one day, and ask yourself what can I do now to prepare for that marriage one day. I would say for you to find a trusted friend, who is also Christian, to talk to about these feelings. Try to avoid putting up walls to keep people from hurting you. Love does lead to loss many times, but it’s like learning to ride a bike. You’re going to fall a lot before you finally have a grasp on how to do it. God gave you those emotions the way you have them for a reason, but make sure you pray constantly over them, and seek biblical wisdom, and wisdom from trusted Christian friends so you don’t blind yourself with your own emotions. We all can fall victim to our own desire to have what we want, instead of accept what is already in front of us. However a group of twigs doesn’t holds strong as opposed to a single twig. Seeing wisdom and understanding through the Bible, prayer, and with a trusted friend or two helps you see a clearer picture. I do believe that you love fully, to a fault. I do too. But that’s ok. We just need to learn how to navigate those emotions in a healthy way, that relies on God and not ourselves, and is based on wisdom and seeks wisdom.

[@bradstevens9604]

Meeting women in the good old days wasn't any trouble at all, and today they're very horrible to meet since Feminism is everywhere nowadays. A very excellent reason today why so many of us good men are still single today, and we really have no reason to blame ourselves either. Too bad God didn't create Normal women like the past when they were Real Ladies at that time.

[@Sandrahans]

Everything is hard even meeting aman now is hard,u get in arelationship you commit they dont want commitment everything is just hard

[@bradstevens5264]

@@Sandrahans But many of us men can commit to only one woman, if we only were that very lucky to find the one.

[@Sandrahans]

@@bradstevens5264 i wish i would find one

[@bradstevens5264]

@@Sandrahans I feel the same way.

[@Sandrahans]

@@bradstevens5264 its hard😕

[@charlesdavis9937]

God doesn’t have someone for me. I’m almost 50 and never got married, had two relationships in my twenties. I’ve given up.

[@junraywardleuterio2014]

singleness is too frustrating. i stopped attending any events related to love like weddings, it will just hurt me and put me on a place that i have no idea.... i lessen going out with friends...

[@amandamakwinja2658]

But doesnt that contradict the fact that you are looking for a partner

[@junraywardleuterio2014]

you cannot find what you are looking for if it is not meant for you... it is too obvious for me, it is up to me if I will choose to be stubborn or to accept the reality of being in an unwanted singlehood....

[@Ppyongppyong-se7mt]

T.T ..........

[@cathrine5402]

im afraid of marriage

[@realityisbest8963]

I just need a true Christian friend. Not even a romantic partner.

[@amyjomelrose7050]

.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

...

[@Mira-gl6xy]

We are so close to the return of our bride groom, and he has put us in solitude and alone for his purposes at this time. I disagree with you saying he wants us to be more proactive in the search. He doesn't want us to be out in this world searching for a spouse. HE WANTS US TO BE SEEEKING HIM ONLY... We won't be lonely for much longer.. Our Groom is not very far away. I feel if your lonely( and I definitely am) he's making us into whom he put us here to be... Seek him and no earthly mate. There's not enough time here on Earth for dating and giving in marriage. As in the days of Noah!!!

[@salinasolis631]

I love that part about God making us to be in community. The world we live in today makes people feel guilty and ashamed for wanting and needing to be together with other people. The guilt and shame lonely people feel for wanting company and companionship makes so many stay quite and hide their feelings and that makes it even worse and harder for people to get together but I’m saying it. I’m a child of God, middle aged, Christian who is lonely and I want a life partner/mate!

[@godinme9282]

Is anyone on here christian and russian? I want a Russian man who's roughly 24ish - 30ish. Lol I cant believe I'm posting this I grew up Pentecostal

[@doragarcia6125]

God In Me maybe it’s the Pentecostal in you🙌Haha God is so Good!👏👏👏

[@godinme9282]

@@doragarcia6125 hahahaha

[@psmith5830]

He gave no healthy practical advice nor technique. His resolution is the the very unresolved problem- what Is lacking social and relationship fulfillment. Most importantly he wants u to admit loneliness and then suppress the affects it has on u so u dont sin against God. How is that healthy mentally? He assumes the lonely hasn't made this attempts to reach others read the comments the problem usually boils down to constant rejection. What to do then?

[@hamiltonrowan5027]

Loneliness is not related to marriage. You can be married and lonely worse than some singles. And you can be single and full of friends and companionship. True you can't have intimacy sexually, but God can help you deal with this as you go through life. Even if you are celibate all your life it's OK. There are things worse in life than that! Live for God to the best of your ability.

[@charmander1370]

Hamilton Rowan Very helpful comment