Christmas and the Holidays with Autism

SORRY I WAS AWAY!! tbh crocheting is good for helping me in burnout so i spent so much time making people things lol. ft. a headband I made in the thumbnail!! once i learn how to use the mail i will make things and send them to you guys, along with replies to your letters. thank you all for your love and support. take care
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[@NymphaeaDreams]

Some families are so deep in their toxic systems that they would rather protect an abuser and save face than actually help a child's struggle. I'm so sorry they were awful to you.

[@diagorm6254]

100% accurate. I love to give people gifts and I love getting gifts (even if I feel embarrassed getting it) but I can always tell if a gift is given out of love or stress, which is weird since I can't even tell my own emotions apart. Now my family gets me blankets and socks and I we don't stress and it's so much better.

[@isomon5441]

I also noticed from a very young age that Christmas is celebrated so differently everywhere. We are a very small family. We get together in a very cosy manner, we decide on food beforehand that everybody likes, some people give gifts to each other from a wish list written beforehand. Others don't give anything to each other. And then we go home. I completely underestimated how this simplicity benefited me as a neurodivergent person growing up. Most neudivergent people I know (especially those with large family getherings) straight up cancel Christmas as adults especially when it also involves traveling across country to people you don't like anyway.

[@alexalynn5952]

Last year I made it a point to get as much second hand as I could for presents, and I was really proud of the cool and unique stuff I found!

[@koffinkat666]

I love to see NeuroNormies Try to mask when they don't like a gift........And I am secretly like "Man your masking needs work" 😂😂

[@mariaeugenia578]

Wow our Christmas are very different. I love Christmas! I'm Brazilian, so Christmas is during summer (VERY hot by the way) and it's not a "school break" it's the actual summer vacation, kids usually get all December, January and February off of school. Christmas is the one of the few times of the year that the whole family is reunited, and here in Brazil it's more centered around food and the family reunion than the presents. Most families are huge, some have more than 30 or 40 people, and it's a big party with lots of delicious food (everyone brings something different) that usually goes through the night, with music and alcohol and the next day everyone sleeps until noon. My family is very small compared to most, and we don't drink alcohol. We do eat delicious food, and sometimes exchange gifts, but they are usually very simple and not mandatory, and always comes with the exchange price tag, so the person could choose another thing at the store if they didn't like the gift, no one has to pretend to like anything. My family used to do presents every Christmas when we were kids, bc my mom loves to give and receive presents, but as we grew older it stopped, me and my brothers were not that interested in "surprise" presents anymore. So if we wanted something specific and more expensive we would ask for it at Christmas or at our birthday, something that we wouldn't normally get during the year. And it was great! At some point, I had everything I needed, so I stopped asking for anything. There is not this social pressure to see what you got for Christmas, since classes only start after the Carnival in the end of February. Also, during Christmas is usually the only time my dad could swift his medical shifts and take a week off of work in the whole year, so we spent Christmas and new years at the beach plenty of times. It's very common to do that in Brazil, cause it's in the middle of the summer, and the Beaches are SO GOOD in this period! It's paradise. My family is christian and we practice Spiritism (from Allan Kardec), so we never believed in Santa or anything like that. Christmas is always about Jesus, and only that. Our family reunites and reads the gospel according to spiritualism, comment on it, we pray and we thank God for the year and for the opportunity of being together once more. It's beautiful. Then we eat, talk... We don't drink alcohol and most people in my family like to sleep early, so we go to bed around 11pm 😂 but most families only have the Christmas dinner at midnight, it's some kind of tradition, but I don't know the meaning of it. My family don't really care for any kind of tradition. We care to see our relatives, "matar a saudade" which I don't think there is a good translation for that in English 😂 but it's something like "getting to see again someone we miss very much and love". It's a lovely time. Of course it's not all perfect, because sometimes people in the family are fighting, or there is someone unhappy about something, or grieving. But thank God, through the years we stook together and learned to deal with those problems. The last few years, especially after COVID, we've been blessed with a lot of peace in our hearts, no one in the family is fighting currently! We haven't lost anyone to the virus, and the loved ones that have died years ago, we can feel them with us during our prayers together. The family spiritual guides, our Guardian angels, our loved ones, and especially, Jesus is with us in this special night. This year Christmas was a gift, I could see again my beloved grandpa from Rio that I hadn't seen since before COVID. It was truly beautiful. I hope you can work things out with your family Paige, or build a new one with a lot of love. But despite that, for those who don't have a family in this holiday, there is a lot of people in need that you can gather. Jesus taught us that we were here to learn to love each other, not only our blood relatives. There is always someone alone at Christmas that would like a friend, a family with no money in need of help. At holiday's, the joy is greater for some, but the sadness is even greater for others, and we gotta remember that, and do what we can to lessen that suffering.

[@TomsOnUK]

I respect that you acknowledge that you should be thoughtful all year and like getting gifts for friends or family all year round

[@andrewthomas8888]

Happy New Year to the Beautiful Paige!! As an Autistic male, I just do certain things as a tradition to myself like do a movie and tv marathon during the Holidays like Halloween thru New Years.

[@EliW95]

I think it would be cool to practice some of the ancient traditions related to halloween in respect to the traditions of honoring the dead, similar to what is done in Mexico to this day

[@NFSMAN50]

When Paige uploads a video, everyone's happy. Never feel bad about taking time away for yourself Paige, everyone deserves a break and rest!

[@user-sq8nk3mn6m]

I love Christmas as an autistic person! It's a time where I feel a sort of childlike joy and nostalgia. I love the decorations, I love the traditions, I love it all. I'm sorry your experience was not the same. I wish everyone could experience it how I did. It's truly magical.

[@FleurMarigold]

it's really nice that you have such a joyful relationship to it, it sounds like a very happy time for you. while there are many people who'd like to have a good relationship with the holidays but struggle to or can't because of life difficulties, emotional pain or upsetting personal circumstances, I think it's also worth remembering that not everyone really strives to have the same positive relationship with Christmas - not everyone will celebrate it, enjoy it, or find it magical, and some people won't ever even want to - and that's okay too.

[@I_m_ryn]

You are definitely not alone to despise the holiday season!! I am PDA too and I hate the whole gift giving/receiving nightmare and huge source of anxiety! As a kid I also had to pretend around family, be grateful for show and play the good daughter, but then neglected the rest of the time. We were poor so also have endure everyone talk about how many gifts they had…😅 now as an adult I celebrate the yule festival & winter solstice and make my own gifts to people I love => candles this year! And as a tradition, my twin and I go to Disneyland or an amusement park on the 24! 😂 🎉❤

[@tracirex]

a smart person told me that we are not obligated to love anyone - including family members. love is earned.

[@maiyapercy]

Thank you for saying that. I hate the holidays too. It was never nice when I was growing up, and I think my body somehow stored these emotions. It is a relief when it is over every year. I love your room by the way, the color and the flowers. 🌸

[@alexandrarifenburg8135]

I would love to see more videos about your crocheting!! My grandma taught me when I was 4 (it took a while for anything to look even remotely good 😂), so I've been crocheting for over 20 years now. In the past few years, it's obviously a hobby that quite a few more people have picked up (yay!!!), but I still don't see very many autistic creators who crochet or knit, and some or the ones who do make my ears flutter so I have to mute then and put captions on, which means I can't just watch while I'm crocheting because I'm also dyslexic and I need time to read. But your voice doesn't make my ears flutter at all!! If you ever do make crochet content, I'll be one of the first ones there watching lol

[@bianca23B]

Great video. Just had first Xmas with newly diagnosed PDA fam member. Totally changed it for him & we had the first stress free holiday. Thanks to your videos I've learnt so much to help support him.

[@raymondburlage6927]

Good for you, Paige. Take care and be safe.

[@amandaelle1462]

This was the first year that my immediate family wasn’t really in town for Christmas. It made me start to rethink what the holidays mean to me as a late diagnosed autistic and what I want them to look like in the future.

[@morganhays684]

When you get rid of your Christmas tree, put it in a pond/lake! It’s great enrichment for the fish!

[@dewdrop3009]

I hate the holiday season. It's always been bad for me growing up, and I hate the change. And then I hate the unnecessary societal changes and how it's implemented in a way that doesn't feel subtle or normal.

[@livstylerewind]

YESSSSSSSS!!!!! I HATE THE HOLIDAYS & FEEL SO SEEN!🙌🤩🙏

[@unperfectperfectionist]

I was so relieved this year when Jan 1 came and the holidays were officially OVER

[@kariikosmos3005]

I only gifted handmade and thrifted things this year. It makes it so much more fulfilling for me. I also agree that I feel empty when I'm done opening presents. I so much prefer to give gifts, it gives me so much dopamine to find the perfect gift and see other people open them, their faces light up 😍🤩

[@SophieBells-kk2yg]

You make me feel so seen and heard and not alome and I just love this channel🖤

[@Cylonknight]

Exact same sentiment here, it's similar to getting a compliment and I'm sitting there like "I don't know what to do with that information but thank you I guess, maybe, did you really mean it?" Expected behavior during holidays is rough because it goes against what we're actually thinking and I don't want to be fake but I don't want to be completely rude and logic comes into play a lot more. There's no middle ground sometimes. Faking it to make it works but it's exhausting and feels like it's not being myself. I don't want to come off as a grinch though, idk, lol. I grew up moving a ton due to family issues and custody stuff so I've never really been close with my family, I was used to getting the socks or occasional hand me down clothing with maybe one small thing but I feel the same way you do about most of it. Appreciate the video lol.

[@hspparadise]

Happy New Year! We are so grateful for this! We appreciate your relatable honesty! 🎉🥳✨

[@givemeprimelaughter]

I was in desperate need of a new bag and my sister saw a really pretty backpack / wheely luggage bag and she got it for me for Christmas. I love it. It's thrifted. Which honestly makes me happy because shit's expensive and I don't want the guilt of someone else buying me expensive shit when I know I can't afford to return the favor.

[@alejandro-314]

Christmas should be like the Olympics, every 4 years or so. Christmas every single year is really exhausting. Thanks for sharing your experience, my family has always been hard on me for not having a smile on my face when opening presents I didn't ask for.

[@killuanatsume]

I would hate if it was every 4 years. Christmas and the holiday is my favorite time of the year. I have autism, and it just make my life better. The traditions that I do with my family every year. The fact that we make tapas either for the 24 or the 31. The fact that we go to my Mother's sister for the 25 each year. Every year is Christmas is just something I am waiting for. I feel like a child waiting for the holiday. I just love it so much.

[@JoePianist]

Yay! I’m so glad you’re back!

[@killuanatsume]

Am I the only person with autism who love Christmas and the holiday season? I may be 32 but Christmas along with Halloween are my fav times of the year. I love the Holidays. Spending time with my family, both my parents, my two cousins, my uncles my aunt my cousin's chilren which are now 4 and 7 (I think). I love buying gifts and reciving them. Plus decorating the tree is awesome.

[@malcolmgatenby6792]

Happy New year paige hope your doing well and looking forward to getting your book and reading ❤😊

[@elliewall6570]

I'm getting your book when it comes out! I'm so excited!

[@carleekaysen93]

You could get a potted tree and take it outside the rest of the year! I’ve been wanting to do this but can’t where I live

[@deadset8091]

Happy New Year! I too did not see my family this Christmas, well, a short videocall. It was lonely but not so sad. Hope you were OK and didn't have a sad Christmas!!

[@HaleyMary]

I love spending time with family and enjoy the food more than the gifts. I do give gift ideas to my dad and my aunt, because otherwise, they don't know what to get me for Christmas, but I enjoy the holidays more by having a good supper with my parents and my aunt and then we usually play a game of Scrabble. You know, build memories.

[@Kway32]

I can totally relate to this. Thank you for sharing, because in the past I have Googled some of these issues and not come up with much.

[@cultivatingself5618]

Hi Paige. I'm sorry that your family treats you the way that they do. That was my experience as well, after I called out my abuser. If people have a problem with this, it's on them, not you. As for the holidays, I'm glad to see someone else actively speaking out about how xmas is a load of nonsense, and has strayed so far from the original purpose. My partner and I haven't celebrated the holidays in years. Honestly? I don't miss any of it. Though I do agree with you that it is still hard because starting around the last week in Nov. until the first or second week of January, society completely loses its collective mind. It is hard to exist amid that chaos, and I hate that it happens every single year. Best you can do is dial things down, or stop participating in the "celebration" completely. Don't be afraid to do what you need to do to take care of yourself!

[@AaronHendu]

M y family just relentlessly bullies me every holiday season so I became withdrawn over time and treat myself over the holidays. This year, I didnt even give gifts...I bought them but decided I am not giving these high effort gifts to people who are consistantly awful to me and put in zero effort. Funny enough, they seemed to take notice, as post Christmas, everyone has been extra nice and made no fuss or fight about me not giving gifts. I typically spend hundreds and put a lot of thought into gifts. I built my sister and her kids a pretty cool ebike for Christmas...they didnt get it. It cost me hundreds of dollars. My sister spent all her money on a tattoo for herself and a PS5 for her boyfriend, excluded everyone for Christmas because "she didnt have enough money", but still wanted everyone to show up on New Years for an hour or two with all the gifts for her and her kids. Yeah, I am good on that. Her kids are just a holes, honestly, and while it isnt their fault, they need to learn to be a basic level of nice to people somehow. Bullying people and expecting them to go out of their way tp serve you is not a lesson their mother should be teaching them. "Treat people how you want to be treated" literally breaks their brain. Also...my family literally gets fiolent and tries to assault me and my mom will be like, "just forgive them, it is just an argument!" So maybe they could try an apology? "Maybe YOU should apologize!!!" For what mom, not engaging with physically and verbal violence? "You think you are better than us?" No, I just dont wanna do THIS anymore. "See, he does think he is better than us, it is his fault we physcially and emotuonally bully him!" Just leave me alone. "See, he doesnt want anything to do with us!" I do, I just want a very basic level of respect. "I am allowed to have my own opinions!" I dont even know how to respond anymore.

[@tyreesetjjoyner1995]

It’s good to see you. Did you have a good holidays

[@Jennaw95]

I’m a late-diagnosed autistic person. The more I hear about autistic experiences during Christmas, the more glad I am that I’m Jewish 😅.

[@ellouisebadger849]

Yeah for sure!! It honestly is about spending time with people you love not what gifts you receive ❤

[@Yuffie13]

Honestly? The best Christmas I ever had was the leanest one financially. My parents were a bit cash-strapped, so they bought my two siblings and me each a small stack of used books, a little box of Russell Stover chocolates, and something affordable that we'd like (mine was a Tigger purse from Avon; we had a friend who sold Avon). I think we had our stockings filled, too, because my parents always made sure that something was in our stockings. Now that my sister is married and has a kid, she makes sure that my niece's Santa gifts aren't extravagant, because she doesn't want my niece to think that Santa is some kind of wish-granting machine at her beck and call. (And my sister knows that certain other family members spoil her kid rotten.) So Santa usually gets her books, clothes, and other small and/or practical things. On the family thing: I haven't seen my grandfather in a year, and I haven't seen my aunt since before covid. After my aunt banned me from my grandma's funeral (because it was more important for friends and boyfriends/girlfriends to be there than an actual blood relative, and she used covid restrictions for funerals as an excuse), I went from having no desire to see her to negative one million desire to see her. I've always been excluded by my extended family - because I was an undiagnosed autistic kid, but also for a whole bunch of other ridiculous reasons - but now it's like my grandfather is pretending I don't exist. When I saw him other the holidays in '22, he barely spoke to me, and didn't even give me or my parents a Christmas card (yet he gave my sister and brother-in-law $25 each "for gas money" 🙄). This year, we weren't even on his radar, and he probably won't call the house until he needs my dad's help with something in his garden. Such is the way my family works.

[@millersam07]

As someone who is extremely allergic to pine the holidays are a strange mix of festive celebration and constantly being worried that this fun holiday party will result in me needing to use my EpiPen.

[@robinknight2251]

I haven't decorated for Christmas in almost a decade and it's wonderful ❤ Holidays are essentially extended periods of small talk, unsolicited hugs and expectations of joy when you find out how little people who claim to love you don't know you at all. So, autistic torture... add to it lights, sounds and general clutter and I am spent.

[@simeondawkins6358]

Im same and told all family etc i dont do Christmas

[@maiddorleans]

This is Paige speaking out loud my own autistic thoughts about the holidays for ten minutes straight, i love it

[@sarai748]

Something about live Christmas trees, if you have room outside and there is a type of tree that will grow in your soil, it won't waste a new tree every year and you can have a beautiful tree all the time😊 obviously that's if you own your space 😅

[@themekfrommars]

Pro tip: Cancel it next year! I did so this year and had a great time. I ignored the whole shebang, Christmas and NYE. No travel, no gifts. No junk food, no drinking, no cards, no Christmas TV shows, no Christmas music, no Christmas tree, no Christmas movies. I worked, I tidied my apartment, I listed stuff on ebay, I applied for jobs, and I went running and cycling.

[@madeleineclark283]

This is so hilarious. I definitely find the extreme change of routine very bizarre and off putting, but I'm also ADHD so I enjoy the excitement and routine disruption as well. It's ok

[@alli4214]

I love christmas.

[@Sonicforcesfan2020]

I totally understand as a person who is autistic I do love collecting build a bears as a hobby I'm glad u are back and yes crocheting is a awesome hobby

[@Rdani429]

Unrelated, your walls are so pretty with all the purple and the flowers!! 🌸

[@MIOLAZARUS]

I spent my first Christmas alone with my dog and it was sweet bliss ❤😂 people felt so bad for me..

[@FleurMarigold]

thanks for making a video like this! over the years I am truly coming to loathe Christmas and even some parts of New Year's - and I can definitely see how that's connected to PDA for me, lol. Christmas was really materialistic and full of meltdowns (that got misinterpreted as tantrums) for me as a kid, in a super emotionally strained and distant family too so not really any sentimental value or family tradition for me to feel nostalgic about. just in general I hate the idea of being *expected* to celebrate something I'm not necessarily enthusiastic about, and I hate how people who don't enjoy Christmas are scapegoated as "Scrooges" and "killjoys" and "grumps" as if their feelings aren't valid. (excluding those who actively try to ruin the holiday for others, but those only exist as like, cartoon villains lol.) I don't really feel a lot of joy, festivity or 'magic' around this time of year, or in relation to any of the typical Christmas mythos, pop culture or iconography. (critiquing the weirdly obtuse Christmas ideology that is present in almost all Christmas media is actually becoming one of my favourite parts of the holiday. so yeah. really not my thing, and wish there was a way for me to totally opt out of Christmas every single year. now, Halloween, though? THAT'S a holiday I can get behind. I haven't really been able to celebrate it how I want yet, so I've pretty much had mostly difficult experiences with it so far, but like, conceptually? no family obligations, can be totally silly with little sentimental value or symbolic pressure, fun colours, lots of spooky stuff and yummy food?? THAT'S where I feel all that "childlike wonder" and "youthful spirit" and "holiday magic" LOL. see? no one can call me a killjoy for not liking Christmas. I like festivity, and I like community, and I like seasonal celebrations - I just like it in my own way, at my own times! I don't want to get roped into taking part in Christmas just because everyone else around me is doing it.

[@AustGamingAG]

I love Christmas

[@EliW95]

I fully agree with a lot of this video, but as far holiday gifts I like to focus on things that a simple, not that expensive, but well thought out, as well as the festivities. I used to go to this holiday lighting in this bavarian themed town called Leavenworth, which is a couple of miles where I live, but it became so crowded and so expensive that we stopped doing it years ago

[@BrianBorges-ez3ls]

Hey Paige! Glad you had an interesting hoidays! Yup, I keep an eye out all year for gifts my parents would like. I haven't been Christian for awhile, but something that I find helpful: In an Xmas ep of the Simpsons, John Waters said, "The Japanese refer to Christmas as 'Winter Shopping Holiday.'"😂 As it was my b-day yesterday (yet more stuff), the shopping goes on and on. Great vid Paige! Looking forward to your book!💕

[@alexanderlapp5048]

Thank you for making this video. I have similar feelings when it comes to Christmas presents. It seems like way to much. I don't want a bunch of more stuff. I have too many things to organize as it is. And the wrapping paper UGG. Paper ripping sounds are like nails on a chalkboard to me. Back in the 70s I can remember opening presents carefully and saving the paper. All this paper waste is just makes my stomach upset. Now that my kids are grown up it isn't so bad as there isn't so much. I get them all something, but not a whole bunch of presents each.

[@promisemochi]

i had a really mixed holiday. i'm autistic. a younger member of my family is autistic as well. but he uses his autism as an excuse to be mean and hateful. i was meant to be "on" and mask 24/7 and cater to him while his autism was used as an excuse to be mean to me and every one else. but because he uses his autism so vocally ("i curse and say crude things because of my autism" and "i'm autistic and the christmas dinner you prepared is disgusting" and "i'm going to scream and threaten to kick your pets because i'm autistic") everyone sees him as being "genuinely autistic" and me as just not. i had family get mad at my autism sticker on my laptop. i was told he needed to "curse and yell to get his emotions out" and that entire plans i'd made had to be cancelled because "he needs to decompress because of his autism" but no one once thought that maybe i needed to get emotions out too? and that maybe i needed a moment to decompress as well? but because i'm not cursing at everyone and yelling and screaming and stomping and threatening the pets, to them i'm not autistic and didn't need any sort of support or care over the holiday while dealing with this person who was immensely triggering and exhausting to me.

[@stella_lilies]

That sounds awful I’m so sorry

[@silvermay9026]

I was NOT GOOD at pretending for my gifts, my birthday is the same week as Christmas so it HAPPENS TWICE 😅😅. I've started telling people I'm not getting ANYONE ANYTHING for Christmas so that DON'T have to get me ANYTHING FOR EITHER DAY

[@philurbaniak1811]

👍👍 Christmas is icky 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@andrewmathewson341]

When it comes to the Christmas lunch, I'm lucky to have understanding family: I can have a nap/socialization break between dessert and present unwrapping in a side-room with no judgement. All the other stuff I'm fine with, it's just that I either get sleepy or run low on socialization charge towards the end.

[@blooddumpster3427]

I had to look at Christmas as a "family gets together and enjoys each other" holiday. I only recently realized how much I had an act together for opening gifts. I am a great actor and I'm pretty sure it's the Autism lol

[@merbst]

I agree!

[@TacShooter]

I can relate to so much of this I am cracking up.

[@TowerJunkie]

Yay another Canuck. It was so dull this year without snow. My one daughter lives with her dad and is so spoiled.. but I can’t afford that anymore. I hate how my ex was able to manipulate her like that. It’s been so damaging for my relationship with her. Good on you for your outlook on this. You’re absolutely correct. Thrifting is a great option and honestly the best part is just spending the time with the people who matter. This year for me that was just my husband and my son & his fiancé.

[@TowerJunkie]

Oh boy! I’m just now getting to the part about the tension with you talking about your childhood.. I’m having the same thing happen and I’m 49.. 🙄 some things never f*cking change. Don’t stop! Tell your story. I’m basically ostracized from my entire family of origin now.. and I say good riddance.

[@peetricorr]

Your halls are painted so pretty

[@pardalote]

I love those flowers. ❤🌼

[@peterwynn2169]

I remember 37 years ago, a kid at school came to me with a store catalogue and showed me a remote-control car and told me that he was getting that for Christmas, as if to say that what he was getting was more important than what I was getting. My paternal grandparents would give me more than they gave my brother, and my mother would tell me it wasn't fair. I remember one year, they gave me $20 and my brother a toy, and my mother told me that it wasn't fair and made me break it and give my brother half.

[@xxalorithxx7810]

I am pda aswell,when it comes to receiving gifts from family i am completely torn between two feelings. One side of the family i happily accept any form of gifts, because i know they don't look for anything in return, and they don't make it a demand at all, while the other side of the family does. When they give me gifts it's demanded of me to thank them like a person who never received a gift before. And it's demanded of me because if i don't do what they want, i am gonna get in trouble or they won't speak to me or send me anything. So talking to that side of the family feels like a demand, and i avoid them at all costs. I would rather them not give me anything at all.

[@isabellefaguy7351]

I only have bad memories about christmas as a child. Because of the sensory nightmare, the absence of routine nightmare, the "meet all these new/unusual people" nightmare, the unusual social expectations nightmare, etc. So now as an adult, I just don't do holidays and carry on with my routine.

[@SolitaryIntrovert815]

At this point I can definitely relate with most things you just said. Christmas 2023 was cringey for me personally due to noises, then also my father making awkward small talks when he visited here and knocked on my room door just to “jokingly” say “Hey old man” which I thought was cringe (since I live with my sister). Opening presents in front of certain family, sibling or people can be an awkwardly draining. So yeah I definitely get you, holidays are just not in our nature especially as an autistic introvert.

[@saegemehlfee]

God I hate Christmas and love a good Christmas rant 😅

[@capriquarius9861]

I hated Santa as a kid for the exact same reason... except i was the poor kid, but i think it's just beautiful that while you were well off you seen the same perspective ❤

[@pardalote]

I hated Santa because he was a creepy stranger who apparently could get into our house. I was once taken to get a photo with "Santa" - not sure if they do that in your country. Back in my day (1970s), you had to sit on Santa's knee for the photo. I was so terrified, I bit my Mum's arm. So, Mum got this weird photo of "santa" and little, terrified undiagnosed Autistic child staring into space. Mum loved the photo and I hated it. What exactly are we teaching kids here .... oh yeah, compliance, personal boundaries don't matter, people pleasing is paramount, and consent is nowhere to be seen.

[@frogginator-x]

Tbh, the holidays are /so/ stressful. I don't mind getting gifts if they're off my list (I provide a very specific list, with links of the things I want / need, that I would otherwise buy myself anyways), but 90% of the time "random" gifts just stress me out. I didn't want them, I'm not sure what to do with them, or where to store them. I always just return them for store credit if I can, and pick up0 something else I would actually use instead, or groceries, lol. I feel the same way in reverse; picking out gifts is so stressful! I also don't want to buy something just for it to be a burden! I try to just ask directly what people want, but I get the sense that it's not quite the thing to do socially, or that it ruins the "surprise". And half the time people just say "I don't know"! Like, I'm supposed to buy you something (because social contract), but you can't even think of anything?? So what's the point?! When I think about it, with the money I spend getting people gifts, I could just buy whatever it was the I was eyeing for myself and still get away cheaper, except I'm sure it would end up hurting people's feelings : / Then I could pick up gifts for people organically when I spot something they might like throughout the year, and it would feel more genuine than because I'm on a Christmas deadline. IDK, I try to lean on giving people snacks, if they don't tell me specifically what they might like. That way they can just eat it (or not), and it won't become something they need to store forever.

[@frogginator-x]

Plus I feel like I always under-react to gifts I do like, so I try to play it up a bit, but then I worry that I'm playing it up too much, and the gift giver will think I'm covering up for receiving a gift I /didn't/ like, but I did I just don't want to react to flatly! And the best part about receiving gifts is like, the anticipation of what the gift /might/ be, imo. Plus I want to reuse the wrapping paper, because it seems silly to use it once, crumple it up and throw it away. I don't even think you can recycle it in my area. So I try to open my gifts really slowly and delicately (I even use a letter opener or a box cutter to slice the tape instead of ripping it), just to savor the experience and save the paper. But everyone gets impatient with me and hassles me to "open them faster! just rip the paper off!" - tbh I'm extra slow on purpose just to mess with them at this point, it kind of adds to the fun >: ) In regards to people "showing off" gifts / how many they got: I tend to enjoy really practical gifts, so I just pick one or two "boring" gifts and enthusiastically show them off. It answers the question without giving much scale of anything, plus nobody really wants to hear about my fancy flashlight or my new pants hanger, so they leave me alone after that.

[@jesslikescoffee24]

I relate to allllll of this omg

[@corey_el]

what’s crazy is everything u said abt the holidays is exactly how I have felt abt them my whole life, but my oldest daughter ass STILL goes along with it to not rock the boat lol. I respect people like u that actually stick to their guns lol

[@djungelskog132]

Yeah

[@mchlle94]

I have both c-ptsd which is like 10x worse around the holidays (everyone is focusing on family and demanding positivity), and ADHD with PDA. I hate the holidays so, so much. About the tree: I have one that can be replanted!

[@alli4214]

I ate an autism for christmas.

[@sarahgodinho1614]

The food changes 😭😭

[@pentestvegan]

6m in and ALL BASED takes. i agree. i thought i was alone in this. yeah, i get the family thing...simalar issue but not the same with me.

[@bethanysolimine5428]

I skipped my family Christmas this year. It was too much sensory overload the last time.

[@jombii-7090]

Maybe my immediate family is different but we pull names and buy stuff for our person off a list they made themselves No awkward "i love this😐" scenarios, mostly Christmas is just another day to me now. If i want something ill just buy it myself 🤔

[@allysoncashdollar1119]

I feel the same way in a lot of ways. I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars to prove I love someone. But I still love Christmas

[@EllyMae48]

Really struggle with Christmas. I was in an autistic exhaustive fog and trying to smile all day plus because I’m the youngest I have to sit on the floor lol I’m 43 so yeah that’s gonna be struggle. I hurt so bad by the time I could leave without family getting upset with me

[@markmywords5509]

Everyone’s on auto pilot with the Christmas questions - they don’t listen. I tried the ‘Curb’ thing and said I was having leg amputated - response was “sounds good” 😂😂😂

[@thetonytaye]

1:13 Fun fact, ‘The Spirit of Christmas’ is actually the name of the short cartoon that eventually became South Park. Idk, just thought that was interesting and just felt like infodumping a little bit lol Oh and also, welcome back Paige

[@shanty83goth]

Do you know about hyperphantasia? I have it. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up. You may relate 🙂 it explains so much for me.

[@peterwynn2169]

I have never really wanted much for Christmas.

[@truetruth1177]

recent late diag. (Oct.6, 51yo) Autist... Besides first year knowing I'm ASD, first year without parents (dad 2018, mom last year Sep. 10) shortest family visit ever (late evening Christmas day - new years eve eve, dec. 30, usually was 2-3 week visits) also first year not completely sick (prolly cuzza such short visit heehee) Usually nice holidays but downhill since me and sis got an Atari completely by surprise 30ish years ago heehee

[@johnvelas70]

I make hand made gifts (I do woodworking).

[@pardalote]

I like to bake presents 🍪

[@undeadcommander86]

That’s why I decorated thw tree by myself at 3am

[@1chumley1]

I totally get it. Christmas gift exchanges reek of insincerity.

[@jrojas2520]

My holidays were so disappointing. Plus, I have been feeling depressed lately, which made it worse.

[@cherrycordial4180]

Your thoughts and feelings (and actions) about things are so similar to my own. It's cathartic to listen to you. I don't feel so wrong about everything then. I wish people were better to you. I wish people made more sense. Sounds like you're finding your way though. Keep your friends close. But, you know, not tooo close, lol. Need lots of space. And family? Bah, complicated. I would like their support, but I'm not going to get it. Give your animals a hug.

[@serenediipity]

omg is that a paige layle upload i see??

[@Emily-ce7hd]

I only just started the video, but YES to the religion stuff! As a kid I super bought into religion, but it took all the wind out of my sails when I realized that 90% of the “Christian” holidays have basically nothing to do with religious piety.

[@JoseMoreno-zk2pw]

Except for Halloween

[@BatBurp]

Hi Paige, do you have a Facebook page? I feel the same way about Christmas. This year, I told everyone I'm not getting Christmas gifts for anyone and that I don't want anything. I always go on about how it is a corporate holiday at this point.

[@mkabs19]

If someone else wants to see that image.. I can try to paint it 😅😂 🤣. This is me.. thanks for the laugh!

[@crazyratlady3115]

Dude I had never linked my hatred of the holidays to PDA. We've been forgoing presents for years, because I'm an adult and I buy what I want, when I want. I'll take the days off work (though the disruption to routine + the seasonal depression really double taps the shit out of my mental health), and I'll take the excuse to do a lot of baking and cook a more elaborate meal. I could do without the rest of it.