My Autism Complimented His Narcissism Nicely

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[@realpaigelayle]

🔎👒 Download June's Journey for free here: woo.ga/g0xv2a Thanks to June's Journey for sponsoring this video

[@chrislyons5556]

hey page names chris. I really love the work you do for autism. i have it to mildly. i loved your vid on mark rober.

[@BrianBorges-ez3ls]

Oh yeah, (Hey Paige! Visual spatial puzzles have been my jam forever!) Didn't know it was free... If you don't see me for a few days ( or months), blame June!😊

[@BrianBorges-ez3ls]

Yup! Called it I'm addicted. (Thanks?) One issue which I hope you can pass on to the creators. In scene 4 (gate), what they refer to as crystal carafe is actually a crystal decanter ( they are completely different things. Old people know what I'm talking about.

[@BigCheesee44]

Paige Layla , always love your vids and are a great inspiration! I’m starting my channel soon ! We need to collab ! Lol my name is June !

[@tudormiller8898]

Watching from the UK 🇬🇧 ❤

[@docdapper]

Cut off my narcissistic mother late September last year. I never even noticed how much she was draining me until I was free. I’m still struggling to heal and to stop being a people pleaser, but that was such a relieving step to take. I wish the best for anyone else who was/is struggling from narcissistic abuse, we’re in this together!

[@yesterdaydream]

Happy cutoffversary!

[@EMILYHERRERA]

Good for you! It's not easy, but it's one of the best, safest, & most freeing thing you can do for yourself.

[@liamm32]

Me too! I spent time alone in my family's house this summer when my family was away. Having time away from my mother made me realize how great it is. I'm so much better at managing my life.

[@DavidBowman-mq1bm]

My abusers finally all died. Don't wait. I regret that I did.

[@arayategan9218]

Hugs if they're your thing. I am working on doing the same... I'm going to be a mom any day now so it's especially difficult feeling

[@adriennebarrios8370]

Watched this thinking “nah, don’t relate” (Autistic, ADHD) because this isn’t my marriage. Took a full 48 hours and it smacked me in the memory face: I totally repressed the abusive relationship I had at 16 when a 21-yr-old pursued, love bombed, groomed, isolated, broke, and left me. “But he’s a nice church boy!” Please.

[@SRHisntSilent]

YIIIIKESSS HOPING YOU'RE HEALING AND HAPPYY NOW

[@yanx007]

Narcissist church boys are the worst because they perfected the art of being hypocrites. And how come your church let a 21 year old go out with you without minimum scrutiny?

[@illegalsmirf]

You sound insane no wonder he left you lol

[@cyndoherty563]

The fact that the mother called you to tell you how bad she abused him and how she made him an awful abuser, and to run away from the monster is just next-level insane. That's not even true-crime level. It's horror-movie level.

[@k.g.4652]

“People tell on themselves, you just gotta listen.” 😊

[@Andy_1777]

The call from his mother really reminds me of my childhood. My dad has NPD & had 10+ wives & girlfriends (at separate times) during my entire childhood. My siblings and I tried everything we could to get the girlfriends to run, we knew how much of a negative impact our dad had on them. But my dad had such a hold on these broken naive women that they would literally ignore our cries to them. 1-6 years later they’d finally leave for good completely broken and depressed, not even knowing who they are anymore. It’s an extremely vicious cycle, I’m not religious but god help any women that are with my dad & your ex boyfriend right now.

[@PaulyShore898]

Its funny how people who have achieved the least, contributed the least, and look the most plain or unattractive have the biggest egos. I'm appalled at people with high body counts...I had an older man who stalked me complain about his mistress cheating on him and the complete ignorance of someone like that to not even care how their wife might have felt about the whole thing is eye opening. I hope we can raise new generations of boys who treat girls and women with respect and have a new egalitarian approach to relationships that dont involve using people.

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

​@@PaulyShore898Dont hold your breath. You kind of have to protect yourself really. Personal responsibility, bravery are called for: or else the Monsters will never be vanquished

[@KattReen]

@@PaulyShore898 I don't think there's any harm in "shopping around", especially when you're young, if you're respectful, considerate and honest. A revolving door can be a fun time, a meatgrinder usually isn't though. These people have a way of finding their way to the vulnerable, insecure people pleasers somehow. In a lot of victims there's a pattern of dating abusive people, and they're often bad at clocking the warning signs regardless of if they're on the autism spectrum or not. I've had a handful of women thank me for just kind of modeling a different way of viewing the actions of men, standing up for myself, and knowing my worth. I think it's important to have a support system, to break the cycle. I also don't think we should make the mistake of blaming mothers for their bad sons. Men are responsible for their own bullshit. If you're going to blame a parent, you should be blaming the one that would actually potentially model how to be a man around women.

[@ella.canna777]

The problem with narcissistics is they can give you the most beautiful love and acceptance as soon as you play by their rules and as soon as you start to rebel they will take it all away.

[@LittleRedRobyn]

Haha oh girl, I really felt the joke about bpd... I was actually diagnosed with bpd when I was a teenager only to find out 10 years later that I just have autism, adhd and comlex/childhood ptsd🤡

[@gsteas1080]

Yo….that shit makes us HILARIOUS!!!! (Seriously)

[@bradyshannon8452]

Hey, I have those problems too. People say u are just looking for excuses. The "its your fault" mentality if the narc is useless to argue with because they refuse to try to understand you...

[@catatata5785]

Same here bpd now autism and adhd

[@annabraper5261]

@@gsteas1080 💎

[@juniperdoes]

I've never clicked on a notification so fast. This is me and I just escaped this relationship. Can't wait to hear this story.

[@photokimasl]

Same here

[@juniperdoes]

Your details are different but my story is the same. I didn't want to spend all my time with her but she demanded all of it. And somehow that made me feel loved because why would she want all her time with me unless I was special? We were polyamorous and she started dating someone TEN YEARS younger than me. And of course that person ended up being more compliant, less difficult, less likely to complain (because after three years of being compressed into this little box of who she wanted me to be, I got a little grumpy). And now they're together and I'm gone. And the whole time I was thinking, no one would ever understand this. But GUESS WHAT. There are TONS of us going through the same thing. Except our narcs coerce us into silence.

[@gabriellelee4558]

Props to that dude's mom for actually owning up to her mistakes and trying to do something about it. Recognizing that cycle is EXCRUCIATING, especially when you've abused someone else. I relate to this so much all around.

[@EliseBaggins]

Yes. I'm 29, was with my abuser from 20 to 25. It was hell. Absolute torture. He was a narcissistic psychopath. I'm still working to heal the damage he caused. It was so bad. I relate so much. Thanks for making this. Oh and he was exactly like my dad too. So 🤢🤮 and get this....he married my sister. Yeah, my story gets f*ckin wild 😂 it is truly a miracle I'm alive.

[@victoriarobertson266]

This comment was a roller coast and left me wanting to know more. ❤

[@EliseBaggins]

@@victoriarobertson266 thanks for commenting. it was a roller coaster! I'm starting to share my story.

[@musicLOVER15382]

u poor thing!!! are u okay now, and ur sister what the flying fuck

[@cassidybrewer]

My ex was the same but allllsssoooo I have a child with him so that really adds layers to it. I have to coparent with my narc ex who is nearly ten years older than me and was very abusive. If I had a sister he probably would’ve married her lol

[@Joshdifferent]

Same. 20 to 25. But your sister 😳?

[@human_plant]

Something important you brought up in this video: CHILDREN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!! I have seen so many people who were obviously autistic, but got a borderline diagnosis as a teenager and think that is the source of all their problems. BPD symptoms can often be standard teenage behaviors. The problem arises when these traits become integrated into your personality. You cannot use a fucking teenager's actions as a diagnosis for ANY personality disorder. Even the DSM specifies PD's should only be diagnosed as an adult.

[@stargirlscinnamoncherry]

I have a friend that is diagnosed with BPD. She was diagnosed at 13. However, it definitely is accurate based on her history and how she is 4 years later.

[@darbydelane4588]

How are you so frickin wise!? 💪🏽👍🏽🙏🏾 Love, a 57-year old, smart autistic and ADHD woman who is only JUST figuring this shit out

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

Paige, teens really shouldn’t be diagnosed with BPD for that very reason. Teens are all over the place emotionally.

[@drugstore999cowgrl]

You're right, my psychiatrist couldn't diagnose me until I was an adult and still showed symptoms prolonging into adulthood. Moody teenage girls show a lot of bpd symptoms!!

[@Sinc3r3ly]

@@drugstore999cowgrlgirl my bpd isnt just being “moody”

[@silverkitty2503]

Most professionals wont diagnose someone with BPD until their late twenties maybe even thirties for this reason.

[@lizdexamphetamine]

​@@silverkitty2503its becoming more and more accepted to diagnose 16-25yrolds and watch the majority of them find out a few years in the future that they actually just had trauma and asd/adhd/any number of other disorders that dont cause bpd symptoms by themselves, but can if someones life is unstable or traumatic etc

[@zekova]

Dude! Exactly! I was diagnosed with BPD by an AWFUL old lady because the FIRST time I saw her (mandated by my GP) I hadn't slept due to medication side effects and essentially had a meltdown in her office, she was like "yep bpd & we're taking you off all ur meds with no tapering or warning" That of course made me cry even more. Luckily I found a new psychiatrist, but that was honestly traumatizing. I was 16 at the time & I now no longer fit the description of BPD at all. Like literally not at all, mainly due to a lot of self-healing and immense effort to work through my trauma, but still. That was so awful to experience as an emotional teen with no friends and a potentially narcissistic father. 😢

[@robinlevy1629]

Paige, thank you for not blaming anyone. That takes courage and kindness. Salute!

[@desacrater221]

I can relate a lot. I think it is very hard for non-autistic people to understand the actual meaning behind certain messages or body language of autistic people. And so it leads to people crudely trying to attack or remove parts of who we are. I dont know about you but I'm not gonna change me, or silence myself.. (lost in translation, autistic version)

[@yeahokaycoolcool]

I have both changed and silenced myself many times over the years and I am struggling to stop doing so and get back to when I was more like my true self. Definitely keep to that! Do not bow to the whims of anyone who tries to change who you are at the core. Someone should not be trying to change your personality, interests, or cares.

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

No i think they are low iqs who dont understand anything at all

[@lakecityransom]

Isn't it crazy how as an autistic person you realize how many times you reach out to be interested in another person's things so you can bond with them? Then some of it actually rubs off into your own interests. Yet, it feels like pulling teeth to get someone interested in anything you are interested in? I'm a poor salesman. That sucks, but it also makes us people with diverse interests that we are deeply passionate about... secretly of course. lol

[@aperta7525]

I'm not autistic and I've had the exact same issue.

[@lakecityransom]

@@aperta7525 We certainly don't have a monopoly on being outcasts!

[@DarA-vh5zo]

I still have such a hard time thinking of my abuser as my abuser because she was my best friend before we got together. it was a 4 year relationship of me being cheated on over and over again, her being an addict which was heartbreaking in itself, witnessing her OD, multiple suicide attempts on both parts, deaths, lots more. It’s been 4 years since we’ve talked

[@KattReen]

It's hard when it's something like an addiction turning them into almost a different person. You might want to both hate them for how manipulative and cruel they are, and at the same time feel sorry for them when they're obviously not well and you love them. I think you have every right to do either, neither or both, but rest assured that you did the right thing for both of you by choosing not to be part of enabling that anymore(because as a partner, it's almost impossible not to). Cutting them off is often the most loving thing you can do for both of you in the long run.

[@bohansolo]

she 🚮 glad u got away

[@lukeowen4989]

As a late-diagnosed autistic person I find your content very comforting, Paige - you speak so clearly about your struggles and they are so relatable. It's nice to know that someone else understands it. Thank you. Wishing you well.

[@NFSMAN50]

US Neurodivergent folk, tend to attract toxic people in our lives sadly. I've definitely experienced this lots. Im one of the 10. Happy Thursday Paige.

[@Catlily5]

You can learn to attract healthier people. Work on your issues in therapy if you can. I was abused but I learned what signs to look for and worked on my self esteem so I didn't feel like I deserved abuse.

[@KattReen]

@@Catlily5 This is true. Even if you don't intuitively notice the signs, you can learn what is usually said and done. An even more important part is deprogramming yourself. A lot of people with a track record of abusive partners have a hard time feeling loved if a partner respects their boundaries and trusts them instead of being insanely jealous and possessive. Learning what a good dynamic usually looks like is just as important as learning what a not so great one looks like!

[@Catlily5]

@@KattReen True, it is good to learn what to avoid AND what to look for!

[@Yaelah-ws9rq]

At this point i dont think i can involve in another one, i just want to rest

[@Catlily5]

@@Yaelah-ws9rq Rest is good in between relationships.

[@cynicoptimist]

This happened to me too. I am diagnosed autistic and ADHD with a shitty family. We met in our last semester of college and he seemed great at first (if you ignored all of the red flags). He left me poems on my car windshield and would send me audio recordings of him singing. Our first date was perfect until I let him drive my car on the way home, and he decided to got 20+ mph over the speed limit past a state trooper with an expired license and got us pulled over. What a stupid little fool I was. Our relationship should have ended right then and there, but it didn't. I forgave him because he begged me and made ME feel bad for HIM. We trauma bonded, and I thought it was love. He criticized all of his exes and told me they were crazy, and I believed him. His mask really slipped on New Years Eve though (this was a few months into our relationship), when I told him "no" for the first time (I didn't want to go to a grave yard at near-midnight in the freezing cold). He screamed at me and made me cry, then he dragged me back to the car and tried to make me feel bad for him. I tried to call him out on it, and he wouldn't take accountability. Our relationship was full of fighting, and I knew it was wrong, and I'd call him out for it, and towards the end I identified what he was and called him a narcissist to his face, but he would just call me overly sensitive. He messed with my head... I would catch him messaging other girls and he would say that I'm the bad person for spying on him. The worst incident happened when I confronted him about his cheating, I threw a pillow at him. I was so frustrated because he was ignoring me, it ended up with him picking me up, slamming me on the ground (knocking the breath out of me), and then kneeling on my chest so that I couldn't breathe, and screaming in my face. He nearly killed me, but he said that he'd call the cops on ME because I was the crazy b***h. I was scared, because he had bruises on him but the only bruises on me were on the palms of my hands because I was hitting him to try to make him get off of me. That night, I was the one that slept on the couch. But I still didn't leave. A few months later, he killed my dog when I went to work one morning. He said it was an accident, and faked a suicide note a day or 2 later. His sister begged me on Facebook to forgive him and asked when we'd have children. I told her "sure" and "not yet". My mom said "what if you did have children and he did that to them?" My unhelpful coworker was criticizing me for coming back to work the next day, but I couldn't afford not to work, since I was the only one paying our bills. I was so numb and beaten down, I couldn't do anything. So I stayed with him. 2 weeks, after my dog was murdered, my mom rushed out to be with me. She kept pushing me to think, to leave, but it was like I stopped functioning. I was barely surviving, I hadn't even grieved yet, I couldn't confront him about it or think any thoughts. I was broken. One day, while I was at work, I came home and he was gone. I tried to contact him but he had left his phone. It was valentine's day. My mom told me that they had fought and he had run off. I was so mad at her, because I felt like she was just adding more and more to my already overloaded plate. She helped me track him down, he had gone to work, but he still didn't call. I contacted his mom the next day to see if she had heard from him, and she screamed at me asking me why I hadn't told her until then. A few days later, I went to his job, and finally found him, I asked him if he was coming back. He looked down at me with a condescending grin, and I snapped at that moment and broke up with him and asked him to grab all of his stuff from the apartment and to give me his keys. He had the nerve to ask me for our other dog. It made me seethe. My mom and I ate ice cream and watched movies that night while I cried with rage. I wasn't even sad, just angry. I still kept in contact with him though, until I moved away from that place a few months later. And then one night he called me at like 2 am, and I got so mad, I finally let loose everything I wished I had said our whole 1 year relationship. I told him to lose my number, and I never heard from him again. That man was a part of my life for such a short period of time, but he did a ridiculous amount of damage. I didn't date anyone again for 4 years after that, not just because I didn't want to, but because at any hint of a red flag, I ran (so most guys didn't make it past the messaging phase of a dating app). I'm still dealing with the trauma of that relationship nearly 7 years later, but I'm engaged to a good guy now. My advice to young girls: trust your gut, you can't change them and you deserve better. Don't wait as long as I did and lose as much as I did (or more).

[@Catlily5]

If they kill your animal then you could be next. I am glad you got away from him.

[@IsidorTheNordicGuy]

Always had narcissistic partners until i met my current one. Going strong after 17 years and we’re both weird and we both know it 😂

[@sysye]

So happy for you. I'm waiting for my non narcissistic partner I think I deserve it

[@isabellapellegrini778]

​@@sysyeof course you do, hope you find them

[@Yaelah-ws9rq]

So happy for you

[@Amberrization]

This hit so close to home. I am still in a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath. The problem is I've noticed his manipulative behaviours/habits since the very beginning, but chose to ignore them. These people are such powerful manipulators andcan be so charming, which makes you doubt yourself and your judgement. I've had so many empty conversations with him, where he dances arou d the question, never giving any real answers. Somehow I always end up being guilty and having to apologise.

[@georgeb-p8136]

Sociopath is outdated, please be careful of your language

[@magicalgirl4]

I hope you’re able to get out of the relationship soon

[@shea5542]

Girl, you gotta breakup

[@shea5542]

I know it’s so hard. Try to build a community of people around you who support you before you do it. All the love ❤remember, you’re worth it.

[@shea5542]

And you’re worth it because you are. No justification. You just are.

[@charles7165]

I actually had a Narcissist tell me my Autism was an excuse lol.

[@etcwhatever]

I had one telling me my genetic auto immune disease was lazyness. The gaslight is hard with narcs.

[@aperta7525]

Emotionally immature people do that to people who struggle with ADHD too.

[@anabluu]

Honestly, I do not listen to other people about anything , EXCEPT men. If I date a man and anyone says anything bad about them I'll believe it and walk away. Has saved me from tons of horrible situations.

[@SamFokker]

JUST SITTING THERE WHILE THEY DO OTHER STUFF?? Lol sir I could be doing a little craft or nap right now, but instead I'm holding your couch down?? Noooo! Girl this is so relatable so far, I'm so happy to hear you describe relationships bc this is where I stress myself out the most & where my biggest "I'm not a standard brain!!" flags pop up

[@rob._.]

I have been on the other part of a relationship with similar dynamics that you describe before, a NPD/BPD/autistic bf. I'm sorry you (and others) went through this. It's not good for anyone involved. NPD in my experience can often happen out of this inner urge to have control, over themselve, situations, people, things. Probably arising out of never having control with their parents. People doing stuff to them instead of with them. So they learned, "hey I need to do the same". So whenever there is a fight, they want to keep the narrative straight on their worldview. Leading to a complete inability to do any perspective taking at all. (EDIT: thinking about it again, any adverse childhood experiences could be the cause. Where you feel out of control and the important indicator is, you try to seek control any way possible.) Oh and "being in love with the idea of you" is a perfect description of that phenomenon of being crazily in love. Since NPD parents can cause BPD children, BPD is in my experience kind of the perfect counterpart to NPD. The same thing can happen to the victim. It's just that love for the ideal version of a person. And that keeps us inside of that cycle. For him (NPD) something like a RO-DBT therapy would probably work the best. It's for people who can't let go of control. While normal DBT, is more about volatile emotionality with too little control of them (BPD).

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

Oh I’ll have to look up that type of DBT. I have BPD and am autistic (yes, I probably have NPD in my family) People with NPD feel so inadequate and many hate themselves too…just like those of us with BPD…but express those feelings by harming people around them to build themselves up. It’s part of their survival mechanism.

[@rob._.]

​@@ReineDeLaSeine14 for sure! you are right about the NPD people feeling very insecure under the surface. Their behaviour patterns are also very simple, reacting situationally by controlling for survival. You are right, I also came to see NPD as very similar to BPD. There are a couple of statistics out there that don't exclude both from cooccurring. 👉IF you are interested in RO-DBT, I can recommend a youtube playlist by "Jennifer May, Ph.D." about RO-DBT. It's like a full on course where you can understand it and how to use it. She explains it very nicely.👈 I always described my experience with BPD in the past like "very socially dysfunctional way to try to control situations" 😄 With NPD on top of everything, you just shut down or selectively use the empathy for other people. So it's easier to not feel immediately guilty until something scratches on the surface like criticism, then it's "" or "" mode.

[@impspeaks]

One of the 10 here, thank you for speaking to us. Raised to be a people pleaser and regularly thought it's fine.

[@user-fi7gf2nb9g]

Yep

[@TheCagedCorvid]

I spent the best part of 20 years with a narcissist... I've only just broken up with him, and uncovering all the damage he's done to both me and my son... I'm so ashamed 😔 to any of you that identity with anything Paige says here, it never gets any better, you just become less and less until you don't even know who you are anymore. I stayed so long I became nothing, twice (yep, I went back too), and I'm rebuilding myself from the ground up at 43. Ironically I think my recent autism diagnosis was what saved me, not only did I start trying to recover myself with the new information I had, which explained SO much, but he didn't like it and his reaction to both my diagnosis, and the growth and change it resulted in, showed me who he really was.

[@Ciahollowell]

I relate to this. I got diagnosed with adhd recently and now probable asd. I feel like I am finally starting to love myself as I am and my energy is pushing those with negative energy away. I believe all my relationships including currently have been with men with narcissistic tendencies (at the least). I need to find a way to change things.

[@Yaelah-ws9rq]

😢😢😢😢

[@LunarWind99]

I'm the only autistic person in my family and for some reason my mum's narcissism always went unnoticed by my siblings. To the point where my sister was lowkey yelling at me that my mum isn't a narcissist lol. Anyways, I suffered for ages and was a people pleaser, I cutoff my mum from my life at 21 and have felt so much better since. Never realised how drained I felt bcuz of it. I'm still recovering and trying to piece together who I truly am but I urge anyone who has a relationship like that in their life to do their best to escape it.

[@RynTheWitch]

Paige, your ex sounds a lot like mine and I had the unfortunate idea to link myself to him forever by having a child with him... And I also dated him twice, he used the same excuse (you f*me blah blah), charmed me again and we got back together for 3 years this time. Same thing of talking at me for what seemed hours about himself, his project, ideas and never caring about me... He also had mommy issues and she also warned me about him, but he had told me so many horrible things about her, that I dismissed it. And I had no idea I was AuDHD (but now that I know, it explains so much and why he targeted me, he pursued me for months before I accepted to go out with him). It took me years to sort through that relationship and I am still debunking all that, he was lying and gaslighting me all the time I really thought I was losing my mind... Oh and also, if your person has nothing nice to say about any of his exes and it always their fault because they're crazy: red flag, run! Anyway, thanks for sharing your story and I can't wait to read your book.

[@Disney8272]

I had a relationship like this about a year ago and lasted about three months and I'm so lucky that it was long-distance because not having physical affection and not having him physically give me food to eat or a place to stay is probably what saved me from getting in so deep that I couldn't get out. I did have someone come to me and say that he had been manipulative to them, but he had already built up the "she's crazy" story and he used his own autism to say that people "just don't understand" him, so I didn't believe. And then one day he threatened to kill himself if I broke up with him, totally out of the blue I wasn't even talking about being unhappy in the relationship, and I already knew that this behavior specifically was very manipulative, and that was the last straw, I knew I had to get out specifically because I could see that he was using tactics to keep me in the relationship. I don't know if being autistic made me more vulnerable, I haven't really thought about it before, but I know that my loneliness and depression made me a huge target.

[@anonymoususer2792]

I’m 3 minutes in and it already hurts because it hits so close to home. On my 17th birthday I met my ex who was 22 at the time. I turned 22 last year and it really hit me just how gross it was. I had the exact same reaction as she did to seeing high schoolers now. They’re children! Actual children. But he called me mature and I believed it. It’s hard to think about now. Thank you for making this video.

[@jgoodwin977]

I thought narcissists were repelled by us coz we question everything which they don’t like, we have short attention spans, thus disempowering them and we won’t be told what to do

[@nateo200]

In part yes but it depends.

[@juniperdoes]

Well, we're not a monolith, and neither are they. But while we may be prone to questioning what doesn't make sense, we also have a long history of accepting things that don't make sense in order to get along. In a romantic relationship, that can mean accepting abuse because the person says they love us even if they don't act like it. When we object, they act like they're the victim, and because of our inclination to support the underdog, suddenly we're taking their side against our own and it's all downhill from there.

[@jgoodwin977]

@@juniperdoes for me if the logic isn’t logicing, I can’t empathise, hence I can’t do people, but at least it protects me from narcissists! Lol I fantasise about being with one and torturing them just from being myself! Lol it would make a great comedy movie. My biological dad is one and he doesn’t know how to deal with me! 😂

[@rembbokie]

@@jgoodwin977it can happen to anyone. especially autistic people. i’m glad you feel like you can protect yourself, but trust me, it may sneak up on you. nobody is immune to an abusive relationship, even if you think you know all the signs/think you would immediately stand up for yourself. i say this from experience.

[@oisinmckellar3046]

Autistic people and other neurodivergent people generally make easy targets for narcissists we tend to miss red flags and let out the most sensitive part about are selves which can be used as criptonigh aginst us. Narcissists and sociopath love people who have are qualities loving, niave and non judgmental. Have a good childhood and being raised by loving parental figure can help give someone armour but it doesn't makes us entirely bullet proof. Unfortunately only though experience can we prevent allowing people like this into our ever again lives.

[@aspiechan420]

My last encounter with a narcissist nearly ended with the narcissist getting shanked. They were an absolute nightmare to deal with, constantly bullying me eventually ending with me getting fired.

[@drevildruid]

On the advice or my therapist, psychiatrist and close friends I cut off my mother five years ago and recently my only sister (who unfortunately behaves just like our mother). My mother was physically abusive when I was a child (as well as emotionally, but more so after I became a teenager) but that ended once I physically stood up to her at age 15. (Scared her something fierce). My sister (who is 13 years younger than me, the result of an affair my mother had) was mostly raised by me, an Autistric male with anger issues. I physically abused her like my mother had me until I realized she was afraid of me (I had an epiphany that I had become the person I most despised) and so I vowed to be her supporter, her friend against a common enemy and to never lay a hand on her ever again. That was a promise I have kept since, some 38 years later. Unfortunately my sister was diagnosed with ADD (this was in the 80's by the way) and put on Ritalin at age six. It helped her but she became addicted. At age 17 her doctor took her off the drug without weaning her first, he simply stopped issuing her refills because everybody knows Ritalin isn't habit forming (it's as addictive as heroin). My sister started to self-medicate. This behavior was supported by our thrice divorced mother. My beautiful sister became an addict. She became pregnant, lost her child due to her drug use. Got married to another addict, sold her body for drug money (with her husband's approval). Got pregnant again, lost her child and her freedom due to drug use. Spent two 1/2 years in a women's prison. Got out and immediately started using again, despite overtures of "I've changed, God saved me, etc." All through this time she sought the approval of her father (who remarried and who seemed to care more for her step daughter than his biological one). His new wife didn't want him having contact with his daughter and I wasn't even a concern since I wasn't his biologically anyway. I was told to my face "I'm not your Father and I will never be your Father." Harsh words said to a 13 year old kid. My sister tried to have a relationship with the only parent she had left (her Dad passed away from throat cancer) but our mom only dealt with her so long as my sister had custody of her kids, when she lost that, she lost our mother's "approval." Thankfully others have seen through our mother's narcissism as she lives her life in solitude, waiting to die (which can't come soon enough for me). As for my sister and myself. She is still an addict though weed is her drug of choice instead of all the narcotics she used to do. The drugs have ravaged her body, she looks older than me (I'm 53) and is just as mentally abusive towards me as my mother ever was. I thought she might change. I would buy her gifts for her birthday (only to discover later that she had sold them to buy drugs). I never became close to her husband, it's my opinion that he thinks she's the best he can get and since she's not held down a legitimate job since she was 15 (prostitution doesn't count) she would be on the street if it wasn't for him. She started to treat me as an ATM and someone to vent to but heaven help me if I disagreed with her. I realized that the little girl I had taken care of and grown up with was gone and there was this vampire in her place who kinda resembled my sister but wasn't her. I realized I didn't know her at all and for my own self protection I had to cut her off as well. This is the second attempt as I felt bad for cutting her out of my life, only to have her reinforce ny original opinion of her by her resorting to defamation when I refused to pander to her playing the victim. Due to my own shortcomings I have never sustained a long term relationship and the few times I was in one, I invariably sought out narcisstic women. Codependency. I have never been married, no kids and I'm just kiving day to day. I havew given up the dream of being married because I realized I'm too old, have nothing to offer anyone and honestly I just don't trust women all that much.

[@bougedela8643]

Trust is definitely hard to build especially with a lifetime of trauma but believe me when I say you are not too old. As a human being, there is no way you don't have anything to offer

[@M13C7]

Oh my god yes this. I been a teenager in a similar situation and now that im 28 like .... WHAT THE HELL I even find 20year olds and 23y olds to be children. Teenagers are babies. I dont see how anyone in their sane mind could have perceived my teenage immature, chaotic and autistically messed up self, as an equal and adequate longterm romantic partner. And yea same story here, been sad and vulnerable, with no support system. And he was the only one listening, helping and being around. He took advantage of that. I did date someone 2 years older as a teenager, and that did work out because we were on the same page. But all the others that showed interest in me like sheesh. Dodged a bullet for sure there

[@Elizabethpepper8]

PROJECTIONS ARE CONFESSIONS. Narcissists will tell you exactly what theyre doing through accusations. Nondisordered people often do this subconsciously too. what they say their ex did is usually exactly what they did to the ex. If they speak badly about the ex, its to discount them. If the ex reaches out to you, believe her. The way a man speaks of his mother and their relationship will tell you a lot. There is a big difference between soeaking badly of someone and speaking honestly. Guys date much younger when theyre unable to date their own age group. Be insulted not flattered.

[@katalinmigray2527]

I've been wondering if us ASDrs stay in bad relationships longer due to not getting social cues and RSD. Finally got out of a very abusive sit. with a diagnosed sociopath (I didn't know until he took everything else away from me) after getting a brain injury. I tell people -don't wait like I did.

[@insanenoire7154]

That sounds about right.

[@cassidybrewer]

Yup

[@Yaelah-ws9rq]

😢😢😢

[@VermisTerrae]

This all pretty much happened to me when I was 20. My ex was 38 at the time. Even if you're a consenting adult, when you're that young it's STILL fucked up for someone that much older to zero in on you. Maybe not when you're in your 30s or 40s and you've had time to live and understand the world and develop as a person. But as a 20-year-old, autistic, DEEPLY starved for love and attention, very anxious young adult, it was so inappropriate and predatory for a 38-year-old man to pursue me. He groomed me and molded my perception of the world to his liking and everything was wonderful until I started to develop some self-worth and didn't want to be sexually available to him 24/7. He would say that saying no was always okay, but he would get upset if I ever did. He even said that people not finding him attractive or wanting to sleep with him was triggering. I don't know how much therapy I'm going to need to heal from the 3 and a half years I spent with him. These kinds of things happen when you don't have a healthy and loving support network to uplift you. The best defense you can have against falling into relationships like this is surrounding yourself with people who respect you and care about what you think and feel and want.

[@justadream6650]

it‘s truly incredible how clearly you can now see and explain it. youre so self reflected, it‘ s amazing! i hope you‘re doing good 💓

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I was groomed by a 22 year old at 15 and we dated from the time I was 16 to 19. He was a textbook narcissist. Looking back, all 3 of us younger women he dated and abused back then (idk what he’s doing now) were clearly neurodivergent. ☹️

[@louieee444]

Its shocking how narcissists always find themselves in relationships

[@HurricaneDDragon]

Ironically, they’re the type of people that are the most desperate to be in relationships.

[@michelleh.5225]

Usually, they end up in less and less relationships over time, to the point where they are completely alone by the age of 50.

[@ameliasparkles13]

This was painfully relatable. Can’t wait to read your book!!

[@randomreactions16]

On the spectrum here, and let me tell you, I seem to attract the narcissistic man. Nearly every relationship I had was with a narcissist. And every time I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't see the red flags. It's the love bombing part that gets me every time. And before I know it, I'm knee deep in psychological trauma. Sadly, one of them is my daughter's father so I'm stuck dealing with him for eternity. The only way to rid yourself of a narcissist is to go no contact, but sadly, I'm court ordered to have contact with him, so kind of puts me in a pickle. My therapist is making a small fortune off of this set up honestly.

[@panasado7886]

I'm in the same situation with my son and his father. Good news is that as our children grow, the less contact we have with the other parent. I can't go no contact too, but I avoid the abuse being far away from him as I can. Minimum contact, a lot of exhausting masking and keeping quiet if I have to see him, but It's the only thing that can keep me safe!

[@randomreactions16]

@@panasado7886 I wish I could move far away, sadly because of the custody ruling, I am forced to stay within a 45 minute from his house. *sigh. And now with his GF about to likely pass on, I am going to have to deal with him directly more often, which is likely going to kill me with the amount of stress that brings to my life.

[@panasado7886]

@@randomreactions16 I'm sorry you have to deal with him like that. It might help to cut emotional ties, but It's difficult and it doesn't stop the arguments. I'm still working on it, but In my case, I'm learning to just "Not care" even if what he says hurts and stresses me out. I don't deserve his abuse, therefore I won't engage. Something that motivates me in my situation is my son. I know is messed up to be near an abusive person and having to just "suck it up", but I feel like I need to be there for him. I want to take care of him and make sure that he's in good hands

[@shawngoral3987]

I've been learning about autism from time to time so I can know more about my son who is 10 now and to be better equipped to deal with the judgement and misunderstanding from the rest of the family. I stumble on to your videos! Thanks for putting yourself out there. I'm getting alot from a good mix serious psychology videos and real personal videos like yours. I'm feeling better equipped to defend him when he has his bad days which has been increasing over the years. Now on your topic about your past boyfriend, I can relate to that. It's difficult to live with someone that is blaming, pointing their finger, and treating you like shit. I'm grateful that you got out while you could and that he showed his true self early. I can see that your reflection on that part of your life has made you stronger. You're so much farther ahead at 23 than most people your age or older. I'm very proud of you. 🦉

[@niccilefevre]

yes. I have a lot of thoughts about this video, but the first time they say anything like "My ex was crazy" Its time to run for the hills. and Legit its so hard not to try to "save" the next girl they pull in if youre witness to it, but you just know they probably wont listen cause youve already been made to be the villain, or the "It wont happen to me" mentality I think most of us have. I def think us asd ppl get fooled easier by narcs because a lot of us assume the best of people (likely partially because weve been misunderstood in the past). I wish there was some sort of database we could make to warn ppl but thatd just be abused by the abusers if everything wasnt vetted thoroughly.

[@lovelyxrosez6589]

What hit me the most is when in your story, you realized your ex'ts toxicity by connecting it to your father's behavior. I'm autistic too and I'm like 99.99% sure my dad has NPD and I have the trauma to prove it. It really sucks how common it is for us autistics to be in relationships with narcissists even if it wasn't romantic/a family member.

[@svc464]

Thank you so much for making this video. I haven’t been diagnosed but have had suspicions for a while now and god I relate to this so much. I didn’t have good parents or support with family and fell into bad relationships, my first was when I was 14 and he was around 20. They continued occasionally from there and I swear they always loved my kindness but not me and by the end I felt so alone and like I was not lovable. It’s literally killed positive parts of myself because it felt like it was my fault but this information is helping me realize that I’m not alone and I’m not crazy or stupid for what I went through so thank you❤

[@no-thanks]

This is the healing content I am so excited to hear from you !

[@sugarwoofle6067]

Was with a narcissist for 11 years... there was a lot of damage done. Thanks for talking about it.

[@rithefree]

I have an iriley similar story but it's a lot darker. I'm glad we both got out. I'm noticing this might be a thing. I think I'm picking up on a pattern here as far as young impressionable autisitic person being romantically involved with an older narcissistic partner. It's really devastating. Anyone going through this please know that you do not deserve how you're being treated. Get out and build a healthy relationship with YOU. ❤

[@JessicaBeschizza]

Me too. I was another one!

[@juliawaggoner4575]

The way you spelled eerily is unlikely anything I've ever seen before. Well done

[@gaby.booyah4338]

Im so glad that you're talking about this! I can relate so hard

[@goblindude4242]

So much of this is really painfully relatable and I wish I’d been able to see it when I was 16/17, thanks for posting. I’m sure it will really help someone.

[@alyssarodriguez4041]

I’ve been there too, I’m sorry you know what it’s like. You’re doing amazing!You’ve come so far Paige, you should be so proud ❤️

[@A_n_y_t_i_m_e]

Father is a first male role model to every child's live. If you as a female had a narcissistic (absent, emotionally unavailable, in any form abusive, who broke child's boundaries) father, you'll be attracted to and be a magnet for the same type of people in adulthood for one simple reason - it feels like home.

[@funpunhun]

Paige, this was so insightful for me personally, so thank you for sharing your story. This has given me more perspective for a situation similar that I view from the outside. I hope that they can find more peace regardless of what their outcome is. Again, thank you so much for sharing, the perspective is something I didn't know I needed 🙏

[@sydneysmith2545]

Love this Paige, you’re so inspiring

[@junojx]

thank you for sharing this content. i was 18 and he was 25 when we met. got diagnosed recently (audhd) & still can feel his power over me. the grief of having to re process all of that trauma now knowing why i was feeling the way i was at the time. confusing mix of emotions, validating and also very painful. the damage of narcissism is borderline demonic….. also yes people tell on themselves. they do the work for you once you’re perceptive.

[@quantumqueef]

i went through a verrry eerily similar situation when i was 15 with an 18 year old. just finished my sophomore year, and this person had been graduated for a whole year already. i can't believe i'm not alone!!! thank you for having the courage to put this out there

[@ER-ge9hr]

This is the first video I’ve ever seen of yours. I cried at the end. I’m going through divorce right now, and you said it so perfectly… he didn’t love me, he had an image of me that he thought he loved. I would physically hold my breath when he would enter the room. I wanted to make it work but I would not chisel myself to fit the mold he had made for me, so it quickly fell apart.. I’m terrified of What Come Next. But I’m ready to be free. Glad I stumbled upon your channel. Love finding new creators to enjoy and gosh it’s rare to get one with so many commonalities. Looking forward to your book ❤

[@hdhdkskdhd9745]

Defining you the way he did - in such general terms - is called snapshotting. You explain it perfectly.

[@euroze]

Paige! This is the first video I’ve seen of you. You did an amazing job articulating your experience. ❤️🙏🏼

[@temporarythoughts]

Girrl you are STUNNING! Just somehow your soul speaks through and you shine physically.

[@dawgcatcha1907]

Girl I have never seen someone more like myself in the way you talk and think and experience and everything!! 😮

[@alikrytr]

Do you have any idea Paige… How mindblowing you are to people like us who went thru these things with no one there to talk to about it ? Thank YOU

[@kiara-bu4js]

Thank you for sharing your story! I went through something almost the exact same, it’s actually crazy. My guy was also 18 turning 19 when I was 16. This made me feel less alone, less bad about the affect he has on me to this day (im 20 now). I haven’t been diagnosed with autism, but it has always been a floating thought. I’m just so glad to know I wasn’t alone in that, and that the things that happened to me aren’t because I deserve it, and simply because some people are just not good people.

[@greyc.4845]

Thank you for sharing. Very similar thing happened to me as well. He and I had started talking when I was 15 and we got together shortly after I turned 16 and he was turning 20. He was super emotionally and mentally manipulative /abusive and it took years of us on and off for me to move on from him. Years after everything, he apologized to me for how he treated me. By then I had already moved on and forgiven him, even though a lot of the emotional/mental trauma he put me through affected how I perceived my relationships for years to come. Im 35 now, I don't really think about it anymore but from time to time he still apologizes to me and he will even cry because he was that awful to me. I think it's probably rare for people like this to change but at least there is one less a**hole running around in the world. Oh, I forgot to mention, I am also autistic. Diagnosed this year. It's true that (at least in my experience) people like this tend to look for autistic folk. I hate that even after all my years of experience, I am still naive and hopeful and give people too many benefits of the doubt... but I'm slowly trying to learn who is good to have in my life and who isn't. Again, thanks for always sharing, Paige.

[@auntshelly]

Thank you for posting this!!!!!

[@888dreamersbag]

Thank you so much for making these videos!! You’d have no idea how much this helps people❤

[@Kivlyn.07]

Good thing my current boyfriend and I are both 17, we are both the same age and most of the time on the same page, we’ve gone through my depression diagnosis and now my autism diagnosis, always so supportive and always there for me. Yes we do have arguments and stuff but we solve them and keep going, even though my mom is not the happiest about us being together we still are, my mom just has the wrong idea of us, she things we always fighting but it’s usually just me ranting over the phone to him about something or we do argue but it gets solved at the end. Anyways, his been the only one that supports and believed me when i brought up my autistic diagnosis, one of our goals is for me to get reassessed and treat my depression, he is always talking about it. I know this is irrelevant, maybe, but i just wanted to share. I really wish good for all the people here in the comments who are struggling and to the ones who are not as well. Thanks if you read all this.

[@cassidybrewer]

Dude. Allllllll of this. My bio mom and my ex husband are both extremely narcissistic and you described so much of how those relationships were and how they made me feel. Also me processing things differently was always an issue. Like I’d get yelled at about being autistic because I didn’t have the outward emotional reaction they expected me to have.

[@nicoleacosta586]

Thank you SO MUCH for this video❤

[@gardnert1]

I'm currently having the opposite version of your relationship. I'm a male autist (maybe ADHD?) married to a female narcissist. I grew up with two narcissistic parents and absolutely turned into a people pleaser. Anywho, she asked me to marry her when I was alone and vulnerable and I stupidly took the bait, even though I broke up with her several times during the year we dated. But I figured "fake it til you make it, right?" Well, two kids later and we are still having the same old fights over the same old fundamental issue: I can't talk to her about anything. And not only that, she has no interests other than traveling, and no matter how much I tried to encourage her to get back into her hobbies, get me involved in them, get involved in my hobbies, or anything, but she wouldn't. She also wouldn't get a job, then she'd complain about how bored she is. Every friend she made since we have been married has been a result of me forcing her to try having a friend. And now I'm just too tired of the constant fighting and total lack of connection. It wears me down until I am totally numb.

[@Allison_Leigh]

Requested your book at my library! Thanks for sharing.

[@hollypotter1424]

I finally gave in and downloaded June’s Journey, thank you for the recommendation.

[@autisticcaroline2005]

Poor Paige ! I hope she got through this ! Praying for her ! I’m an extrovert but I understand her so well and have tons of empathy and compassion for her even though she’s an introvert! :)

[@innergeee]

I'm a 35 year old woman from Brazil, who was raised by a emotionally imature mother (who talked shit about every single soul alive or dead, and everything was always a joke) and an undiagnosed autistic father (who never opened up to me but AT LEAST we spent time together hiking in national parks). Growing up the way I did, lonely, bullied at school and at home, I was desperate to feel validated, but I only understand that now of course. I couldn't fucking understand the concept of self worth. And what you said about older strangers picking up that nobody cares enough about me. Attention was the purest love. Worth was something other people gave me. I was 13 with a 35 yr old, 15 with a 23yr old and 17 with a 24yr old. I don't want to leave to imagination but I won't get specific about SA. I spent my 20's in denial about it. Thankfully I had a few years of a healthy-ish relationship with a guy my age, who also studied graphic design and liked anime and games, like me. He was extroverted, and I tagged along where he went. I was nicknamed Hinata from Naruto, because she was a quiet, shy character, and my ex was loud and obnoxious like Naruto. I enjoyed socializing then because we built an online forum to talk about our interests, named it The Nerd Empire. (Just wanted to add this because those years were very nice and I want to end this comment on a more positive note). I hope you're doing great! Thanks for sharing your experiences. Adding your book to my reading list!

[@alexlovesfungi]

Your story matched mine nearly perfectly but the age gap was just a little bit bigger. He was 21 and I was 16. Preordering your book now! Thanks for sharing your story Paige

[@laurachow8150]

I'm so glad you got out safe from that relationship! ❤ On an entirely other topic, I am subscribing 100% for that end credit song. Going to have that stuck in my head all day! 😅

[@rexlloyd7320]

Smoothest ad transition of all time

[@PicseaMuse]

This video popped up on my timeline at the PERFECT time.. I’ve been seeing a guy for the past couple weeks that is this to a T.. I’ve been seeking inner guidance bc I knew something was off. Thank you so much for the reminder before this went any further… you saved me precious time, abuse and heartache. 🤗 ❤

[@adaode3413]

I'll never forget when i turned 20, I looking at the 16yos thinking I could never... they're just babies!! My ex was 20 and I was 16, I literally cannot fathom what went through his head. "so mature for your age" sir, I believe it was the other way round...

[@sadwhaleiskindasad5672]

Honestly I relate to this too much. Im not diagnosed with anything but I dated someone almost identical to your ex, from the going over to his house to just sit next to him and do nothing while he plays video games, like this grown 20 yr old would invite me over when i was 16 on a school night and then hed put on his headset and talk to other people while i just sat there until past midnight and get mad if i wanted to go home. All his exes were "crazy" and his mom was also so toxic and he'd always bitch about her. And he HATED so many things about me, he would constantly tell me how to act and what to like and it would cause arguments if i did something innocent he didn't like. He'd SA me constantly because i was so young i didnt have experience with a health s*x life. And then he'd cheat on me with girls younger than me which was tbe biggest red flag. Anyway this year he finally got arrested for cp and he's facing four life sentences and his trial is this month so karma really did its thing. Im in lots of therapy, 20 years old and raising my daughter with my beautiful girlfriend, and just started college this year. Healing takes a lot of work but its definitely possible :)

[@pendafen7405]

Paige, I love how animated you are when telling stories, it's so engaging and funny

[@thetranspersonalalchemist]

I’m auhdhd, grew up with a covert narcissistic father, then had a bunch of relationships with invalidating people until it culminated in a relationship with another narcissist.

[@thecolorjune]

I would have really needed this video a year ago. At least it’s cathartic to hear. I hope this video helps others.

[@aspectofhues]

thank you for this

[@SRHisntSilent]

This video needs way more interaction. I think more people should hear this message fr.

[@bokchoiman]

That roll into the ad was so casual lmao. Well done

[@willietastic]

i laughed so hard at this title… in a bittersweet way lolol. you have no idea how seen this video made me feel. thank you so much you beautiful soul ❤️

[@Patnjac]

Super appreciate this video!!

[@Thislifeisawildone]

1 of the 10 here!! Wowzers!!!! Saw the title, and was like.... holy smokes. Every time you post I feel more validated, and less alone. I found out I'm autistic/ADHD 2 years ago.... and just as recently realized I'm not into men at all (late to gay, since i was raised to be a straight christian kid). but prior to that, I dated SEVERAL narcissistic men, one who found me when i was 19 and he was 26. He always said the right things. but he loved me for how naive i was but also how brilliant. it also ended with repeated abusive bull. I'm certain that my neurodivergence, combined with trauma, made me vulnerable to this! PS yes, finding items in search images is weirdly easy lol

[@nicolebezeau1174]

Wow, Paige, i am so proud of you. I know it wasnt at all easy for you to leave this guy, but you finally fucking did it! And thank you for this info. This is something everyone can relate to autistic, or neurotypical

[@neuroqueercoach]

This is so freaking real! Almost every relationship (familial, platonic, romantic) I've been in have been either npd or toxic bpd, which makes sense since my mom has both of those, so they feel normal. I'm currently working on a book of poetry about my last relationship and another about my mom/childhood. I've been reading SO MANY books about recovering from narcissistic abuse because what they say is trapped in my head.

[@emogirl638]

When I was 20 I dated a 29 year old because I thought he was cute. It was a nightmare, I had bright blue hair and a tattoo and he tried so hard to convince me to dye my hair back to brown and I said no you can't control me. Then he broke up with me once because I wanted to spend time with my dad instead of hanging out with him. Then I was stupid enough to invite him to my 21st birthday because I knew he wanted to get back together. Flash forward to a couple weeks later we went bowling and he drank promised me he was sober and then took me home now that I'm 28 I know he was for sure plastered. We broke up again because I decided to go to Chinese with a friend of mine to nurse a hang over and he was frustrated that I didn't go to hang with him the moment he said jump. He ended up getting his license taken away for drunk driving with his toddler. I'm so lucky I got away when I did

[@liamm32]

My mother is a subclinical vulnerable narcissistic, but without the manipulative part. The level of traits she showed was low enough that it wasn't particularly bad for my non-autistic siblings, but has had a huge effect on me. Autism and narcissism are a terrible combination on interpersonal relationships. A good relationship to an autistic person requires some forgiveness, yet my mother just had to give me long scoldings for small mistakes.

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

Interestingly, I’m autistic and come from a line of people who may have been narcissists, and have had some of those traits myself. I was affected by my family to the point I developed BPD and not NPD. My involved family members did have the manipulation part and I couldn’t pick up on it.

[@alexanderh8129]

@@ReineDeLaSeine14i have bpd & npd from a similar situation & my brother has npd w/o the bpd (we r both also autistic so bit of a clusterfuck)😵‍💫 its kinda sad to see a whole comment section talking ab cluster b’s when its rly just ab getting treatment :/ ive never been abusive but the closest 2 abusive traits iv ever displayed have usually come from my bpd honestly but ppl dont realise bpd is a cluster B disorder really bc its harder to stigmatise than npd and aspd😵‍💫

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

​@@alexanderh8129i'm so sorry, pls don't listen to this comment section... honestly shocking to see so much ableism on a channel focused on neurodivergence :/

[@amanda4131]

clicked on this video purely to see if anyone was pointing out the demonization of ppl w NPD in the comments

[@alexanderh8129]

@@amanda4131me 2 it was disappointing but not at all surprising

[@hayabusa6833]

You are such a vivid storyteller, thank you for sharing.

[@markusbaumgartner9266]

I am late to this video, but as an autistic male I can absolutely relate! In my case, I am the older guy, and my narciscisstic ex is 12 years younger than me and just startet uni. She was the first woman in my life who actually listened, new "what it means to be differen" - she has ADHD - hat similar spiritual and philosophical ideas and could keep intelectually up with me... she came from a messed up family like I did. She thought it was great that I was older because people her age "are too dumb". The funny thing is, I knew her ex, and he was the kind of perfect boyfriend I could never be... and I didn't understand, why she left him...She said that he is sooo messed up, that he has no personality anymore etc. now 7 years later I know. My life is in shambles, she left me, she took down a big part of my support system. She always had a reason for any abuse, always something something childhood. And for the last two years, I always was in fight or flight when talking to her... and then she claiming she "just wants me to get better" or she (I wonder if intentional) only putting demands on me when I was in autistic burnout or in meltdown... she brought it to a level where me not masking was equivalent with abusing her. I could go on for hours.... I am broke, and I can't go to work anymore... my parents stole my house from me ("your fault for letting us") fucking narcissists.

[@margaretcapers2368]

loved this! i can relate so much as an autistic girl