Everything Wrong With Jungle Cruise In 20 Minutes Or Less

[@CinemaSins]

Outtakes are here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHu6ZqGPj7R2oLc

[@supremeconprimeoverlord8114]

U 🧦 Th3 BIRDMAN is better than u GERM-ey NOW GO EAT YO MEDS BRUVVVVVVVVV

[@christianparrish6647]

@@supremeconprimeoverlord8114 What?

[@anthonyramos588]

home alone 3 please!!!!!!

[@supremeconprimeoverlord8114]

@@christianparrish6647 🌊WHATER 🌊

[@christianparrish6647]

@@anthonyramos588 I mean, it was okay, but I prefer the og home alones.

[@JakkFrost1]

Watched this movie and couldn't help feeling like it was just 'Pirates of the Caribbean Lite'. Then I realized that was basically what it is. Both have the same essential story, based on Disney attractions. The only thing missing is the two young, pretty lovebirds.

[@RED-sl2le]

And Johnny depp.

[@lastnameever3990]

Can't wait for Splash Mountain

[@johnthwaites5976]

More like The Mummy

[@rct3isepic]

The best way I would describe it is Indiana Jones and the Pirates of the Caribbean

[@madisonlink7141]

That brief musical score used for the title absolutely screamed "POTC lite."

[@SAStarbucks]

You should get a Best Director award for editing this down to 20 minutes.

[@p_campbell]

Second that😉

[@BobbySacamano]

Wouldn't that be "Best Editor?" ;)

[@chrisgolomb2036]

@@BobbySacamano would be excellent at CommentSins *ding

[@okonh0wp]

I’m pretty sure that’s called a best editor award

[@greydecaire8]

@@BobbySacamano Yo you Kramer's buddy right?

[@titus_philemon]

As a Brazilian, I've never seen so much Spanish in a movie played in Brazil (which doesn't speak Spanish at all).

[@titus_philemon]

Also.. If Portuguese explorers, why are they showing "Conquistadors" from Spain instead of "Bandeirantes" from Portugal? 😂

[@CRSB00]

@@titus_philemon Because, Amazon = Conquistadors by Hollywood research logic

[@dedeferreira98]

Fdx pensei a mesma merda.. Sou de Portugal e achei super estupido "conquistadores" espanhóis.. porquê espanhóis?

[@suruthebeast4065]

​@@titus_philemon Because Aguire did infact kill the Tupi people of Brazil when this movie claims they did. You realize the Spanish kind of led the charge on south american and portuguese followed up and picked up the scraps right? As far as Portuguese vs spanish I think that's just the writers not realizing the S-America is mostly Portuguese. Also we only really see like 5 people talk long haul in this movie and one of them is in fact Spanish even if he's lived for nearly 400 years.

[@suruthebeast4065]

@@CRSB00 Referring to my other comment about Aguire and the Tupi people of Brazil. If you're gonna critique history knowledge do some research first.

[@rct3isepic]

I'm surprised the bit where the rock says "Who the hell brings a submarine to the Amazon?" Didn't get a 'Character would be amazing at Cinemasins'

[@Ptr-ck7if]

don't forget the part where they humanized the villain. saying that he isn't that all bad. then an hour later when we forget about that they leave him IN A FREAKING CAVE FOR ETERNITY TRAPPED IN PRETTY MUCH HECK. and the movie simply doesn't care

[@averyreuber1150]

not to mention that was 1916, during WWI. Submarines like that didn't exist for another 2 decades, not until WWII

[@jeffbosworth8116]

@@averyreuber1150 Actually, a German Uboat famously sunk the Lusitania in May 1915. A year before this movie.

[@davidgordy7766]

@@Ptr-ck7if Yeah, the guy literally screamed: "THIS IS WORSE THAN DEATH! THIS IS TORTURE!"

[@TheBvtje]

What weirded me out the most in this movie is The Rock explaining he's some 400-ish years old and that he raised the village (where they start the jungle cruise) from the ground up. Yet in town he is seen as an outlaw, he's in serious financial trouble and has literally no political power in HIS own town. Shouldn't he be the mayor or at least have some political power? Also, as he lives in the village and is well-known by people, has no one ever wondered how he stays buffed and outlives everyone?

[@jociexxstars]

@retsaM innavoiG he can’t leave the sight of the Amazon

[@Crow_Smith]

My assumption is the rich dude came in and overtook everything and he's an "Outlaw" because of that.

[@trolletuva]

@@jociexxstars The Amazon is pretty big. He go away for ages and still stay on the river

[@jociexxstars]

@@trolletuva that’s fair, but I’m just explaining what the movie explained. No clue why he didn’t leave.

[@eclipse369.]

political power = evil, control over others if you were there 400 years bla blah then you have trust from individuals, a trusted network, voluntarily yea the movie dumb as rock errr yea both

[@daseinz]

Q: why are pyramids in Egypt? A: they were too heavy to be transferred to British museum.

[@bobjoebo8933]

Why is this so sad lol

[@CoralCopperHead]

@@bobjoebo8933 The truth usually is.

[@alanbishop217]

It belongs in a museum!

[@calvinbarnes1721]

Not true. They couldn't expand the basements enough to hold them.

[@terrible1237]

They would have tried again but brexit got in the way

[@blackpeter6402]

Guys it isn’t a jungle movie without Dwane Johnson

[@WaterMeLoan64]

Madagascar Reboot will contain Dwayne Johnson probably.

[@brandongamingtv7545]

IT'S ABOUT DRIVE IT'S ABOUT POWER

[@JakkFrost1]

Guys it isn't a Dwayne Johnson movie without jungle

[@bobjoebo8933]

@NanoNerd I heard that. I literally can hear him saying that.

[@bobjoebo8933]

@@brandongamingtv7545 WE STAY HUNGRY WE DEVOUR

[@motherplayer]

13:35 That is what "The Adventures of Tin Tin" understood. Uses photorealistic motion capture and say what you will, but a lot of the crazy stunts in the movie feel a hell of a lot more convincing when it's all still CGI rather than trying to convince us this CGI is supposed to blend with these actual real people and we're not supposed to think it looks off.

[@XSAGA87]

One of the best movies ever made. Thank you for your comment

[@natebetts9426]

Still pissed off it wasn't "successful" enough for the studios to greenlight the two sequels they had already planned.

[@LignGranite]

Damn I've been waiting for a Tintin sequel for ten years.

[@KingAdeft]

I agree

[@masterdynamo6457]

Blunt and the Rock were, together, enough to convince me to give this movie a go. Honestly, I don't regret it. Deeply unoriginal jungle adventure is still jungle adventure, and I've never been disappointed by either actor's performances. As you'd expect, it's not original, but it's fun to watch Emily and Dwayne do their thing. I wouldn't compare it to some of their previous works (I preferred Edge of Tomorrow and [either] Jumanji for movies with them in it, respectively) but it's still enjoyable.

[@TheRandompaint]

Ohh the actor... I thought you were talking about weed

[@hootsmcgee7896]

@@TheRandompaint i thought they were talking about crack rock!

[@TheRandompaint]

@@hootsmcgee7896 😂 weed and crack are probably the only way I'll watch this movie

[@jdsartre9520]

you're part of the problem

[@12jswilson]

I only watched it once it got on Disney plus. It's really stupid, but I figured that's what it would be when I sat down to watch it. Enjoyable mess is a good description

[@NuminorTheFool]

Can we talk about the fact that the movie just leaves the cursed Spanish dudes in the wall again, just after the main one admitted that not only are they all conscious during it but they're all in extreme pain. This is as well after establishing that said villain wasn't a complete A-hole. I mean fuck Disney, at least do the right thing and spawn two flowers in have Rock feed the second one to his previous friends so that they can be redeemed/ disappear because they're no longer cursed instead of literally telling the audience that they all now doomed forever more and in complete agony.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

one of the more many ways this movie is garbage. you are given a character who does bad things for a good reason. that makes sense. he feels betrayed because his brother refuses to do said bad thing for said good reason. that's reasonable. because of him he can't ever see his daughter again because it's BEEN FREAKING 400 YEARS. that's reasonable. but then they just say duck you as they leave him in a cave forever. and that's not even mentioning the moon going forward, defying every scientific law, THEN GOING BACKWARDS

[@YourLocalWorldEater]

Exactly how I felt

[@matperry18]

@@Ptr-ck7if I thought it was pretty obvious that the moon peeked from another vantage point and didn't actually go backwards.....

[@brandenp1944]

Sequels yo

[@DankrumStar]

The slaughtered a entire village of people for their own personal gain, yes it was for his daughter… but that’s not the point. They got what they deserved 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@gungasc]

This is by far the best example of Movies running out of ideas and YOU called them out on EVERY one of them! you rock dude!

[@hepchaos]

No, he Jeremey. Rock dude was the guy in the movie.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

don't forget the moon physics that the movie has, the moon can just go forward, and then say duck you to every scientific law, GO BACKWARDS, AND IT NEVER EXPLAINS IT! would've appreciated some newspaper be like, "once in a lifetime event happens, the moon goes backwards, last time this happened, astrologists predict, was 1000 years!", it would've been extremely convenient but STILL better than sweeping it under the rug and never explaining it freaking again

[@stompchunkman4248]

Wish there was a movie or sequel/prequel about the Conquistadors. They weren't evil at first, and at worst they're trying to break the curse. Also, I loved the concept of them being painfully fused with an element from the jungle, especially the Honey Conquistador. Check for sketches of them, there were some that were honestly scary and most likely made some people panic. There was a priest that was fused with spiders, and now his body was covered in cobwebs and spiders walking around all over his body. The coolest was a beetle conquistador, and now his armor looked like a beetle's exoskeleton.

[@aguywhoeatstacos4285]

The spider one gave me the most horrible image in my head.

[@juandavidrestrepoduran6007]

Probably not a good idea considering whom Aguirre was in real life… I mean it’s obvious anglos do take the worst examples to make Spanish-speaking people look bad, but really, Aguirre is amongst the worst that ever lived here… it is said that in the Venezuelan coasts he terrorized, a long time after he was killed by his own men in Barquisimeto, people used to terrorize children telling them Aguirre would come for them… and well, amongst the bad things he did (and not mentioning everything he had done before arriving in Venezuela), was basically going town to town, kidnapping the people, looting as much as he could, killing the men in charge, and some of the women, and then going on to the next to do the same, sacking and killing mindlessly.

[@valeriaferrari9737]

​@juandavidrestrepoduran6007 it's crazy that Aguirre was played by a Venezuelan guy (Édgar Ramírez)

[@Venom_3386]

Good news, we STILL don’t live in a world where “Unforgiven” plays over the Disney logo, because that was “Nothing Else Matters.” DING!😝

[@EBTS-3]

Hahah wait are you actually called Jeremy ?

[@Venom_3386]

@@EBTS-3 I am. Not THE Jeremy tho.

[@Amarianee]

I was so confused 🤣 I thought I had forgotten the soundtrack for a second or missed a song at the beginning (and I just rewatched this a few days ago) I appreciate you confirming I'm not losing my mind...because of this anyway.

[@EBTS-3]

Makes this better XD

[@matthewkirk]

I came to say this.

[@veronicaparise4221]

Personally I just love the fact that the jaguar in Jungle Cruise looks so similar to the jaguar in Encanto

[@jakepullman4914]

Could be the same one. Not a lot of work for CGI jaguars.

[@pennyvivian]

@@jakepullman4914 i mean encanto is animated so its not gonna be the exact same

[@jackwest7775]

12:57 I couldn’t stop laughing at the series of sinful places to put the guys looking at the characters like they’re crazy. Proving it is in fact amusing

[@melissapyle7879]

I almost always find it humorous..😁

[@DankrumStar]

Not to mention that the deepest point of the Amazon river is only about 33ft. There is no way a submarine of that size would be able to travel by Amazon. I think that deserves at least 100 sins!

[@hoppytoad79]

Agreed. I had no idea how deep the Amazon was, but I knew there was no way a sub the size of the Prince's could fit in the Amazon. The depth of the river changes, and a sub like that isn't something easily carried around rapids and waterfalls. Realistically, the only type of sub that would work would be self-powered and large enough for one or maybe two people.

[@DankrumStar]

@@hoppytoad79 We googled it while we were watching! Haha

[@gophergold3945]

How did "bad guy in a movie based in the early 1900s Is inexplicably German cliche" not make the sin list 🤣🤣

[@LifeWithMatthew]

You forgot the "We're in the prudish past so this main character is ostracized for being gay, but everyone is also super accepting of the fact that he's gay" cliche.

[@Mediados]

The world is oppressive and intolerant, except of course the small group of people who go on an adventure.

[@PanSpaceman]

Is this a cliche how often does this happen exactly? Besides "everyone" is two people, one of which knows and loves the gay character and the other of which is a 400 year old dude who's claimed to see all sorts of things

[@ChonkedCat]

@@PanSpaceman it is

[@LifeWithMatthew]

@@PanSpaceman it is very much the cliche. Anything that was made in the past... say 8 years that takes place in the 1920s or earlier will have at least one episode dedicated to this very plot line

[@PanSpaceman]

@@LifeWithMatthew I'd love some examples

[@misterA2Z]

Also, how does a Spanish dude living on the Amazon for 400 years sound like a modern American guy?

[@hoppytoad79]

He has a gift for languages. 😂

[@WriterZeye]

He lost his accent after all these years, and converted the accent into muscles, so what do you want from him?

[@RED-sl2le]

You should add 5 sins every time the Rock finds himself in a jungle.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

i would say add a sin for each time this movie copied off another movie. but then we'd have 1000 sins and a 50 min video. just to name a few. they stole the ship maneuver where they use the rope to make the ship turn faster from pirates of the Caribbean, they stole the Millennian falcon. they stole cute but deadly pet from a ton of movies, one being captain marvel. they stole market fight from Indiana jones. they stole city hidden under water from Indianna jones again, I think. they stole undead pirates from pirates of the Caribbean, they stole undead protagonist pirate vs undead antagonist pirates from pirates of the Caribbean, they also stole them fighting for treasure and the immortal aspect makes it sick, or it was sick in the original, in this knockoff it's so obvious it ruins the entire thing for me.

[@IzkAndrew]

Its about drive

[@jasonshaw3605]

I couldn't figure out the rapids waterfall part of the movie at all. Like they were going up river and suddenly they were going down river. If they were going up river then why would there be a waterfall to go over? Did the river suddenly reverse course for some reason? Does physics work completely different on the Amazon in the 1910s? Next the whole then going down another river split away from the waterfall made me even more confused. Do the two rivers meet up again? I never recovered from this point in the movie. I just progressively got even more confused. 😂

[@Ptr-ck7if]

don't forget the moon physics. you can tell physics works differently in the amazon in the 1910s because in today's time the moon wouldn't be able to go FORWARD, then say duck you to physics and GO BACKWARDS JUST TO GO FOWARDS AGAIN

[@NavyGuy2OO7]

I liked this movie a lot more then I thought I would, it was actually decent.

[@lolicongang.4974]

Lol did he mess up things in his video?

[@NavyGuy2OO7]

@@lolicongang.4974 Didn't say he did, just said I liked the movie.

[@handev2604]

CinemaSins in the video description: “Yo, Jungle Cruise is a terrible movie that blatantly steals from 5-10 previous and much better movies, offering not a single original idea throughout.”

[@psychogoreman198]

@Pigsty likewise

[@scaper8]

@@handev2604 You know, I thought the movie was dumb too and pretty much agree totally with Cinema Sin; but you don't have to be a spaming asshole about it and just let others enjoy it. Or at least "have an original idea throughout" and not "blatantly steal from" the video description.

[@OversoulGaming]

Okay so I had several thoughts on several parts of this video including the Slash joke and The Fast and Furious Runway going through several zip codes, but all I can say is as someone who has never seen this movie, this is one of the funniest CinemaSins videos I have ever seen and whoever wrote the script is a genius. Brilliant 😂

[@margesimpsond]

wait what

[@OversoulGaming]

@@margesimpsond CinemaSins isn't just one person it's a crew of several people and several channels and two different podcasts. Sometimes they write their own scripts sometimes they write scripts for each other. I was saying whoever wrote the script for this one is an absolute genius because these are some of the best jokes they've ever written

[@moneyme1327]

@@OversoulGaming how’d you comment 12 hours ago when it just released 9 mins ago-

[@qzbnyv]

@@moneyme1327 look man it’s 2021… everyone should know about Patreon and people having early access to the videos of people they support by now. this has been a thing for 8 years now

[@OversoulGaming]

@@qzbnyv I'm fully convinced at this point people are trolling when they ask that question

[@vastotales4431]

You gotta admit, that *Metallica* cover of *Nothing Else Matters* was probably the best thing from this movie And should at least deserve *SIN OFF*

[@AdiAbdurab]

thank you, came here to make that exact correction. That wasn't Unforgiven.

[@hyp3r459]

@@AdiAbdurab same.

[@rct3isepic]

Also it technically isn't a cover. Or at least the later version during the exposition dump isn't. They actually brought in Metallica to record their parts for that version

[@MegaZeta]

Nope.

[@JR-ju3kj]

I loved that cover in the movie. Personally, I thought that the movie was awesome and I loved it! It wasn't going to win any Oscars but it was good entertaining escapism and I think that's The Rock's whole thing- just making fun positive movies.

[@ctakitimu]

It's almost 2022 and they still haven't figured out that when people vomit, it's usually everything in their stomach not how much can they hold in their mouth and then spit out to pretend like they vomited. In a movie full of CGI/VFX they could have fixed that. It breaks immersion when I see it as my brain always says to me 'why is that vomit so small? Whenever we vomit, there's much more than that, and a lot more retching'

[@liamnehren1054]

lol especially since it's an anti poison defense! if you didn't release everything you are definitely still poisoned.

[@brandenp1944]

Maybe they vomit into their mouth, allowing air to be displaced through their nose, and then forcefully spit it all out? Maybe we've been vomiting wrong all these years?

[@CoralCopperHead]

As someone who has to vomit regularly in the morning to remove excess phlegm that drains into their stomach overnight (don't blame me for being gross, this is a discussion about puking,) there are specific situations where no, you don't toss up everything in your stomach. In particular, my morning puke is generally triggered by the first piece of bread I eat -- literally seconds after swallowing it, I need to go to the bathroom and spit up that phlegm from the previous night. There's not a single crumb of bread in the bowl afterwards. TL;DR: Different people respond differently to things, even if those things are identical. What we know about the gag reflex is more like 'loose guidelines' than actual rules. (Nailed it! Knew I could get a shitty PotC quote in here somewhere!)

[@ctakitimu]

@@CoralCopperHead Oh that must suck for you! I hope your teeth are OK with all that stomach acid over time. Yes, there are always exceptions to the puking experience but most people don't question whether the characters in the movie/TV show have a biological anomaly that causes them to just 'spit up' a little. We generally use ourselves as a guideline to what the appropriate would be in a given scenario, which is why (I'm guessing) that it doesn't appear abnormal to you when they puke so little on screen. Anyways, Merry Christmas to you and yours (It's Christmas Eve's morning here) - It would appear my brain has finished what it wanted to say. I'm just along for the ride

[@AttemptedVoices]

You know I watch too many of things when I see a movie character say: "Hey, look at this!" and the first words out of my mouth are: " You better come take a look at this cliché. "

[@TuesdayNightXWing]

Can we talk about the big flaw in Aguirre's original plan? Even if he found the petal on the 1st attempt, it would take 7-10 WEEKS to get from Spain to the Americas, and then another 7-10 weeks to get back. If his daughter was that ill, I doubt she would still be alive in the 3-5 months of travel time alone, forget the whole actual expedition.

[@WriterZeye]

you're supposed to turn off your brain when you watch this, man!

[@totallyfakefakename4664]

He's a 400 year old Spanish conquistador. You'd think he could pronounce Spanish like a Spanish person.

[@hoppytoad79]

I know! Most American-sounding Conquistador I've ever come across. 😆 Roll your 'r's, man, ESPECIALLY the 'rr'--like the one in your last name. 😒🙄😵‍💫

[@atomicgator5207]

I'll give him some leeway because languages change over time. But then again, he speaks fluent modern English. So not much leeway.

[@WriterZeye]

Hey, cut him some slack! He lost his accent after all these years, and converted the accent into muscles, so what do you want from him? People these days, man. Jeez! Asking for so much.

[@claudiatalaveraabajas4481]

Out of all the Conquistadors, only two were Spanish actors and actually populsr in Spain (Dani Rovira and Quim Gutiérrez). I'm actually thankful they bothered to find two Spanish actors that are not Antonio Banderas or Javier Bardem

[@rachel.0352]

@@WriterZeye So THAT'S why he doesn't have an accent. I knew something was up.

[@cheesycheddah9211]

The main German in the movie looks nothing like Prince Joachim Franz Humbert of Prussia did in real life. Also the eagle he is wearing around his neck more closely resembles a Russian or Austro-Hungarian eagle. Not a German one.

[@ProjectLeviathan]

I know this is a month old, but did it also hurt you to look at that WWI era "U-boat". It looks so cursed.

[@cheesycheddah9211]

@@ProjectLeviathan Yes, it did.

[@ProjectLeviathan]

@@cheesycheddah9211 have you seen The Kings Man? It's actually pretty historically accurate except for leeway for plot, it's got the right U-boat that sank HMS Hampshire too, for a movie about spies, they did their research, hell Rasputin and Lenin are both I'm it

[@cheesycheddah9211]

@@ProjectLeviathan I have, not really my kind of movie, but they're alright

[@TheRyhsge]

13:25 in the movie it explains that since they could not get back to the river they turned to stone. Over the next hundreds of years the jungle destroyed their bodies. One of them is snakes because snakes lived in his body, one of them is bees because bees probably made a hive in his body, one of them is mud because land probably covered his body, and one of them is wood because a tree probably grew into his body.

[@jacobbalensiefer3846]

Now I just want to go watch “The Rundown”, the best Rock vs Jungle movie

[@bratmaster6972]

"The Unforgiven" sounds quite a bit different they had me fooled it was "nothing else matters"

[@TatsuChi]

was wondering if anyone noticed this mistake right off the bat lol

[@ThePughski]

I actually enjoyed this movie even though it has a plenty of flaws

[@mypal1990]

All the dad jokes Dwayne utters deserve ten times of sins.

[@stephaniehudson7370]

They’re right off the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney. Best part of the movie.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

@@stephaniehudson7370 best and only good part are the jokes and banter, the rest is just... why. im looking at you moon physics!

[@robbieredrum5953]

Any movie that has even a second of jungle scenes I expect Johnson to show up even as a cameo.

[@brandenp1944]

If you don't see him, they've likely used photos of his face to create textures on the CG trees.

[@Locadel2003]

I actually really liked this movie. It was so fun and a nice adventure movie

[@christianparrish6647]

I like your profile pic.

[@Fictionboy16]

Me too. This is one of the few PG-13 Disney movies I've watched that isn't Marvel or Star Wars.

[@handev2604]

CinemaSins in the video description: “Yo, Jungle Cruise is a terrible movie that blatantly steals from 5-10 previous and much better movies, offering not a single original idea throughout.”

[@Banter07]

@@handev2604 hey, Let people enjoy things.

[@PussInBootsTheLastWishFan2003]

@@handev2604 Cinemasins is just joking he actually likes this movie

[@vizthex]

damn, this movie has a plot? i just heard it existed and was like "alright, guess the rock is gonna play himself again".

[@steamdeco]

I expected Jungle Cruise to be the movie equivalent of junk food. The mouse, with all the resources at its disposal, met those expectations. Whether or not that is a good thing, I'll let you decide.

[@MegaZeta]

Incomprehensible

[@flmkrp2486]

its boring junk food is not boring

[@steamdeco]

@@flmkrp2486 I've eaten very bland crisps before and that's what I was thinking of when making the comparison 😛

[@flmkrp2486]

@@steamdeco oh ok id say junk food movies are movies like transformers entertaining, but so 'bad' jungle cruise is definitely the equivalent of very bland crisps

[@Mediados]

This certainly is no masterpiece, but still a fun, light watch.

[@eliaspeter7689]

Yeah, not every movie has to be a Schindler's List or a T2.

[@wannabedal-adx458]

Yeah it started out fun an entertaining, but I could see the cliche's coming out of the wood work from 1/3 the way thru all the way to the end. But that's not all that is wrong with it! Jeremy's review is very accurate, just encased in sarcasm!

[@nickramirez7932]

Couldn’t agree more!

[@Hegi123456]

The waterfall was a surprise because the Germans caused it the night before by blowing up the wall to free the Spaniards. But I can understand you missing that, lol, there's a lot going on in the film and you did say the Jesse Plemmons stuff had you nodding off. Love ya videos, this is another funny one!

[@jrobb5956]

Wait: I used to literally work that attraction a lifetime ago. What the heck is the plot of this film?! It’s nothing like the script we had!

[@Ptr-ck7if]

it's from pirates of the Caribbean, but they couldn't make another because they ended that. or that's what I'm assuming, it's that or Indianna jones. or an Indianna jones/ pirate of the Caribbean crossover. i think this because they literally stole everything from those 2 franchises

[@eclipsehorse8693]

@@Ptr-ck7if Succubus Mickey goes from IP to IP feeding off their plits and characters until he is full, and needs to feed again. Succubus mickey will in time relieve himself, with which many cupcakes and cheaply made theme park merchandise will be made. Succubus mickey gets his life force from destroying all that was good well loved by the people once before. Succubus Mickey does not know originality or creativity, only what came before, and how those plots and characters worked-

[@Ptr-ck7if]

@@eclipsehorse8693 my biggest shock is when people actually said they liked the movie

[@Tiresias55]

Was this movie bad? Yes. Did it mean I didn't enjoy it? No. However, the main thing I took away from it while watching it in the cinema was "Oh boy, Cinemasins are gonna love this one." You know you're a fan of the channel, when all you're thinking throughout is "That's sexist/racist," and other Jeremy quotes. Love the channel keep it up!

[@themimsy]

You know you're a fan of the channel, when all you're thinking throughout is "That's sexist/racist," or you're a liberal

[@WriterZeye]

The purpose of a movie is to entertain, and make money. Were you not entertained?? Did you not spend money??? So stop hurting this movie's feelings already. That's like saying what you said is stupid, but I liked it enough to respond.

[@ctakitimu]

I lost my shit when you had confused man looking at all the dramatic scenes! It really does make them funnier! "And I....am Ironman" *confused spectator looks on*. Ah that was great!

[@Albatross4Sure]

I'd like to sin the fact that the Rock's character was supposed to be Spanish but he pronounced the word "lagrimas" as "la-GREE-mas," rather than the correct "LAH-gree-mas."

[@WriterZeye]

What's the difference, show-off?

[@WriterZeye]

He's got the LA, the GREED, and MAS - everything Hollywood stands for. What you complaining about, son?

[@claudiatalaveraabajas4481]

@@WriterZeye the correct spelling is "lágrimas", the accent is there to emphasize that's where the strong sound be pronounced. It is an "esdrújula" word, which means the strong sound is in the third last syllable. These kind of words always have an accent on the vowel of the syllable

[@Helloworld-ss5uv]

0:54 Still doesn’t explain why there’s no Cinemasins video for “The Road to El Dorado”

[@SorrowNova]

Bizarrely backwards and offensive stereotypes seem like the only way Disney knows how to include indigenous people at this point lol. Peter Pan, Pocahontas, Pirates of the Caribbean, this movie... damn

[@horsegirl2454]

I laughed so hard at this; I'm surprised I didn't crack a rib. Also, when doing audio for vomiting, IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE THE LOUDEST THING AT THE TIME!!!!!

[@GageisGreat12]

I liked how they referenced RMS Lusitania and RMS Mauritania right here 3:09

[@TinthiaClemant]

The Rock’s teeth sure were white and shiny for someone dead ☠️

[@nikoligrac4590]

He made toothpaste while living in the rainforest for 400 years

[@tahanneloc10]

2:42 When I saw this scene, I thought these exact words followed by the “ding”

[@MagisterCobb]

You missed one, How could the Germans operate a sub completely submerged without showing movement on the water until right as it surfaced. No way the river was/is deep enough to get a sub in even if it were sailing on the surface much less to operate completely submerged.

[@bobjoebo8933]

And for that matter how did the Germans get a submarine up a huge river without anyone noticing. At that time submarines couldn't go underwater for more than 5 hours

[@WriterZeye]

@@bobjoebo8933 It was a Disney-powered, magic submarine!! What do you want from me!?

[@bobjoebo8933]

@@WriterZeye kzbin.info/www/bejne/aambgGduepxspNU According to Disney the audience is the baby

[@adamboman9965]

I appreciate your love for Paul Giamatti. Such a great actor

[@lethalsandwhich]

Okay this is amazing. This is 100% a new ride movie. But I would 100% ride it.

[@arielsteinsaltz1956]

Pretty sure it’s based on an existing ride.

[@devindepascal4009]

1:34 Man, Kermit sounds pissed.

[@wildman2012]

People didn't smile for (most) still photos years ago, because the exposure time was so long. You can't hold a smile for minutes without it becoming strained. And if you dropped your smile and then regained it - during the exposure - your mouth would come out as a motion blur.

[@androgynouslibra7607]

When I was watching this movie for the first time, I honestly got so pissed off because another pedal bloomed which made no sense other than, "the main hero made a sacrifice and for that they should be rewarded, and then they lived happily ever after."

[@seanmcloughlin5983]

Also history sin for making Joakim, a reclusive manic depressive who killed himself in 1920, an over the top moustache twirling villain when they could’ve just made them fictional treasure hunters or whatever. This is always how I feel whenever a movie makes Rasputin a villain, just because their reclusive and creepy doesn’t mean their plotting to destroy the world!

[@odysseusrex5908]

OK, I am impressed. I am seriously impressed. I had never heard of the city of Iquitos, Peru before. I had no idea that Peru even extended east of the Andes, much less that it encompassed the headwaters of the Amazon River. I thought all Amazon cruises began at its mouth. You said something I did not know, and did not believe, forcing me to go look it up and educate myself. Do you realize how rare that is for zany, fun videos? Well done Cinema Sins, well done.

[@erichansen2999]

My mother and I spent about a week trying to figure out what bothered us so much about this movie, and the answer was basically everything.

[@Voland1871]

I like that Joachim von Hohenzollern was an actual dude who as the name implies, was the son of Kaiser willhelm.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

19:00 i noticed this mid movie and i was surprised my parents didn't even realize it. had to explain it 5 times the moon defied the laws of space and gravity, and every law of science. this only happens because the movie needs a good ending but it just completely garbage and just says suck it to science. most sites gave it a 5/10 or something in that range. it deserves a 2/10. the only thing it has going for it is that its funny. the rest just doesn't make sense if you think about it or is just stolen. they stole from like EVERY movie. i could tell it was a bad movie just by the trailer. i knew it would be a knock off of pirates of the Caribbean. but i didn't expect it to just copy off Indiana jones entirely and add a bit of pirates of the Caribbean and a pinch of Star Wars into it. the description of this video says it all.

[@uosdwiSrdewoH]

Jimmy Fallon has 4 Primetime Emmys? That's the most depressing thing I've heard all year.

[@akaofficialchannel9101]

I like how any sexist scene is always referred to as racist lol I love it. (Not the actual social issues, but just his way of explaining it)

[@haybentley1]

Fun fact: Emily Blunt hadn’t even been on the ride until movie’s premier at Disneyland. Like how hard would that have been? Wouldn’t that be the most basic role preparation?

[@madquest8]

She was allegedly too busy riding a producer to try to get out of making this... Sadly she failed.

[@jonathansauceda589]

This was a fun movie with a good story

[@ZomBro_BOSS]

Sometimes I forget you guys exist, but remembering you is amazing and makes me remember my childhood

[@mstie3252]

Your sins are valid, but I kinda want to see this movie now. Looks entertaining, as long as I don't think too hard about the plot.

[@Polar-f2h]

I absolutely love this movie! I watched this a few months ago, and it's one of my all-time favorite Disney movies! I really love fantasy movies, especially those that are adaptations! They did such an amazing job making Jungle Cruise! I love the story elements, set designs, visual style, characters, and I especially love the action-adventure fantasy aspect and the references to the titular Disneyland ride! This is so cool, especially since it's based on a Disneyland attraction, just like Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and Tomorrowland! I love it when Disney makes movies based on Disneyland attractions! I really hope Disney keeps making live-action adaptations and movies based on Disneyland attractions, because this is absolutely a masterpiece!

[@dinosaurearthsociety5377]

To the 1% seeing this have a great day and may god bless you, your family, and your friends(early merry christmas as well)

[@GrandCircumlocution]

3:22 I used to think the saying was taken for granite

[@cameronbosch1213]

19:32 I can't stop laughing! That was perfect! 😂

[@paintingkitsune]

*Ding!* If you pay attention just before the jaguar attack in the bar, Frank whistles for her. So yes, he did have her hiding somewhere nearby.

[@Dav777]

This movie was actually very good and Jack Whitehall was hilarious.

[@MegaZeta]

LMAO

[@athorn9351]

When moving inland and upstream, you normally reach the bottom of water falls, not the top.

[@outta_the_blue]

Another sin could be that he told her she could bathe in the river even though he knew there were piranhas

[@Starfals]

This was screaming Pirates of the Caribbean...and it had the mummy vibe as well. Holywood sure loves mixing ideas and trying to make something new. I guess thats how we got Star Wars..but still.

[@motherplayer]

8:15 It's even worse later. You think that comment about smiles was off, just wait til she talks about how "Beautiful" it looks outside of the camera RIGHT as we're looking at nothing but green-screen made imagery. That is just like in "Thor: Ragnarok" when Odin talks about how "Beautiful" the landscape looks before the next shot is a giant green-screen. Do these editors/writers not get the irony behind trying to make that sound genuine?

[@sagethewitch1952]

"Also why is the German speaking English to the Brazilian snake" got me😂😂😂😂

[@inkandesk]

I know it’s not exactly his expertise, but I’m quite confident that lock picking scene had a lot more wrong with it

[@black_hole_man444]

that's nothing else matters over the disney logo, not the unforgiven or unforgiven II or IV. doesn't matter, just wanted to point it out. love your vids!

[@eliljeho]

They actually took the Sandstone/Granite joke from the actual ride at Disney Land. It's still a sin.

[@LucentDragoon]

I think what disappointed me the most was the unsatisfactory ending for the conquistadors. It felt unnecessarily cruel to leave them stuck to the wall permanently, unable to die. I'd been expecting some sort of last minute redemption arc at least. They didn't even have any proper motivation anymore, at least initially there was the sympathetic response to the leader trying to heal his daughter. But she's long dead, they no longer have a reason to be seeking the tree except to cure themselves. They could have just as easily teamed up with the protagonists to accomplish that.

[@bigheadedevie9405]

YESS THIS!!!! Really upset me too🥲

[@alexnelson9830]

the sandstone but some people take it for granite joke made me laugh so hard. thanks Rock!

[@teksupddg]

and then you tripled it!

[@baxtersmom279]

The ultimate Dad joke. Love it.

[@Ptr-ck7if]

@@baxtersmom279 only part of the movie i liked

[@defearl]

Disney has no magic and talent left to make anything like Pirates of the Caribbean again. It's so sad.

[@xelthos2051]

I really enjoyed this movie. Love the Rock Jungle anthology

[@thedragonofcanada6659]

I just watched this movie yesterday, not knowing you made a video on it, and was about to ask you to make it when this came up in my recommended!

[@maggiestinnett8926]

This movie just makes me sad...not as though the writers made it sad, but the poor writing and plagiarism is just depressing. Primarily because corporations like Disney think this is what we want to watch...when in reality a good story with good dialogue is all we ask for sometimes.

[@CodyFairlessLee]

I hate it when Jeremy accuses a good movie to be terrible. JUNGLE CRUISE is not that great, but it’s good.

[@lelegus7732]

What I really hated was how they portrayed Brazil (I'm brazilian so I know what I'm talking about). For example the actress of Trader Sam doesn't have indigenous origins, she isn't even brazillian! I made a research and turns out that she is actually Mexican. The legend of the pink dolphin was also wrong, the real legend says that he turns into a handsome man, who uses a hat to cover his hole in the head. He goes to partys and seduce woman, who end up getting pregnant because of him. It wasn't the worse or most racist portrait, but Disney could definitely do better (I only talked about a few examples, there are more problems). And yes, you can use creativity and change some things for the movie, but you should also be respectful to the country. Take Encanto as an example, it wasn't completely accurate to Colombia, but it did make references to the culture and they made a lot of research for the movie, unlike Jungle Cruise.

[@Skeletal33]

Thats not racism. Its acting

[@lelegus7732]

@@Skeletal33 Oh, and blackface is also acting in your perspective wright? Jokes apart, I'm not saying that the actress is racist, but Disney should have casted someone more adequate to the paper.

[@johnharris6655]

And not one person was on the beach in a thong.

[@mrdynamitehee]

Can anyone out there think of a creatively interesting movie Dwayne Johnson has EVER been in - not commercially successful, of which they are plenty. His career is like fairground cotton candy, literally no substance whatsoever.

[@azathothwakesup]

I remember watching this when it came out, thing about how awful it is and all the horrible plot holes. Like, this movie treats Submarines like they can just teleoprt between bodies of water, hahaha

[@johnharris6655]

I agree. WW1 era subs were very fragile and designed for the ocean not rivers. They were pigs under the water, slow and hard to maneuver, and could only go about 60 miles while submerged before having to come up to charge the batteries. Pretty sure you could hear those Diesel motors all over the jungle.

[@Amarianee]

Yeah...because the reality of submarines should be taken very seriously in a movie with a sentient forest, a pet jaguar, and a magic flower that can heal anything. Ya'll need to lighten up and learn how to enjoy a fantasy adventure film. It's called suspension of disbelief and it's really not that hard for a film like this.

[@oakleyplays4819]

I hate how this guy is so good at making even the best of movies seem terrible. My guy can make up look like a failed rickroll

[@Dioxous]

I've been waiting for this one lol.

[@sethmizrachi8337]

I thought there was going to be a bonus round for all the dad jokes taken straight from the Disney ride.

[@tiana_andherbooks]

I clicked that notification SO fast let me tell you-

[@DarkfireTaimatsu]

"Everything that you see that's new in this world, I've seen hundreds of thousands of times." - CinemaSins addressing the general movie-going audience~

[@Brooder85]

I love this channel because it reminds me never to watch movies again. 👍👍

[@ryanmckee9156]

I love cinema sins and u always nail everything. That boat scene where he redirects the boat is possible tho