Cinematic Excrement: Episode 146 - Blonde

[@wstine79]

What a crazy ride through the Razzzies. Two presidencies, a covid lockdown, crazy international and local events, and series of movies that tested Sean's patience just our amusement. Brave man.

[@wstine79]

It's interesting how Sean's Razzie Winner series started with a crazy biopic about the Village People and ends with a crazy biopic about Marilyn Monroe.

[@chronicallykat4920]

Pauses. Until the next round of maligned film and sometimes like this correctly so

[@roberttreacy8271]

Now that’s what I call coming full circle.

[@das81]

For now... 😅

[@kingamoeboid3887]

I wonder if he’ll make a ranking of them.

[@MetaLord395]

Book ends.

[@dragonsblood23]

There's so much in Marilyn's life that was more interesting that wasn't even brought up in Blonde Big one is her friendship with Ella Fitzgerald and how Marilyn help Fitzgerald perform in segregated clubs as well as the two's bond overall being wayyyyy more interesting than Conspiracy Theories: Monroe Edition Anyways, I'll see you on the Worst Picture Retrospective when Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey probably wins

[@brycegoddard5547]

It’ll be either that or Ghosted that wins. But yes they definitely missed out on so many interesting aspects of Marilyn’s life. She was good friends with Ella and played a big role in fighting against segregation and Jim Crow laws back then. She also had endometriosis and that was a suffering part of her life.

[@stephennootens916]

They only seem to care about the sad parts of her life. For Hollywood it seems Monroe was a sad unstable girl who and that's about it.

[@rosamariabest6069]

Marilyn fixed herself a protein shake with a raw egg every morning. So yes, she knew how to break an egg.

[@HBarnill]

That explained her infamous flatulence issues.

[@animeotaku307]

@@HBarnillDid not know about that! 😲

[@ATBPRODUCTlONS]

Congrats on completing your Worst Picture Project, Sean! It took five years, but I enjoyed watching and waiting for each new entry and it's nice to see you finally get through all those films. Eager to see what you do next on the show!

[@MrChaotic4]

This project will continue once per year when the Razzies come out.

[@Khasym]

@@MrChaotic4 And we'll still be amazed at how Hollywood keeps topping itself in stupidity. :-)

[@erichfiedler1481]

@@Khasym and sometimes the worst films don't even come out of Hollywood

[@michaelsinger4638]

Ana de Armas acts her butt off in this film. I WISH she had gotten to play a more accurate version of Marilyn because that would have been fascinating.

[@daelen.cclark]

Perhaps if they do a biopic about Some Like it Hot…

[@BrandonCroker]

Marilyn deserved better.

[@alejandrogonzalez00]

Both Marilyn and Ana De Armas deserved better

[@sweeney60]

Why doesn’t anyone make a movie about how she started her own production company??? That would be far more interesting, less sexist and not trod out the same bullshit tropes we’ve heard about Marilyn over the years.

[@noahbossier1131]

Agreed. That’s a great idea. I think it’s a good idea

[@stephennootens916]

It is kind of weird how they always ignore the other side of her life. She was well read, started her own production company, supported the civil rights movement and was one of the first to talk about sexism in Hollywood.

[@AtrocityEquine01]

It'd be nice to see a movie where Marilyn shows people what she truly was capable of instead of just focusing on her spiral.

[@BrandonCroker]

Sean is one of the absolute goats of movie reviewers

[@brandonmclendon5368]

I’m just glad that Ana de Armas didn’t get nominated for a Razzie. Also, if you wanna watch a pretty good Marilyn Monroe bio, watch My Week With Marilyn.

[@MrChaotic4]

In fact, she was even nominated for Best Actress at the Oscars for the role, but stood no chance at beating Michelle Yeoh.

[@Valkian24]

@@MrChaotic4 Or even Cate Blanchett but she already won two Oscars in the past.

[@dragonsblood23]

@@MrChaotic4 Personally wasn't big on her being nominated over Deadwyler (Till) or Davis (The Woman King) I thought those were more deserving for nominations

[@tristanhartup4936]

@@MrChaotic4 I'm personally unsure if the nomination was really warranted

[@Betta66]

Funny enough, that felt like Marilyn Monroe fan fiction and was still better written than Blonde

[@jorgea8518]

"No, the mistake was not me saying Justice League isn't a good movie" Well, if you mean the 2017 version, then I agree.

[@jalex.musica]

Almost 6 years and you’re finally done with the Worst Picture winners! Whoooooooooooooo!!!!!!🎉 You did it, Sean!

[@scipioafricanus5871]

Now Sean most revisit them and ask the question: Were They Really That Bad?

[@michaelstrong5383]

To quote Frodo from Lord of the Rings, *_"It's done."_* At least until the Razzies announce the winner for Worst Picture of 2023. Wonder what it would be.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

Yes, Mr. Frodo. It's over now.

[@tristanhartup4936]

My personal hope is Expendables 4, it probably won't win, but I'd like for it to

[@erichfiedler1481]

​@@tristanhartup4936well there is some stiff competition in the form of a crappy demonic possession film that's basically a ripoff of Exorcist III and The Screwtape Letters, a dull and boring dollar store version of Taken if it was loosely based on a true story and starring the crazy dude who once played Jesus, a shitty horror movie based on a childhood icon for years and whose first book is now in the public domain, and a bad comedy marketed as "the most offensive comedy ever made" from the losers who couldn't make it in Hollywood and made Daily Wire

[@daniellavaladez7820]

I hope it’s Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

[@AnikMonette]

​@@tristanhartup4936Nah, it was bad but not Razzies bad. At least imo.

[@diggerfan9319]

Your Worst Picture Project spanned about 5 years from 2018 to 2023 and it was a chore to sit through all of them but at least we finally end it here with a movie about Marilyn Monroe.

[@hesnotquitedead]

This is how I find out Birdemic: Sea Eagle actually got made.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

I knew it was getting made, but I had no idea it was already out.

[@tristanhartup4936]

I first realised it finally got made a while ago watching someone else's review

[@DarkOverlord96]

Wait... _they actually made another one?!_ I just thought he was gonna re-review them!

[@shawklan27]

​@@coolnerdlll6053 holy shit same

[@chrismartindale7840]

oh no. I wish I was still missing that happened. Although, I had feeling I had from the moment the coat hanger showed up.

[@goreycinema]

I saw the original upload of this really late at night and I was very delirious. When I saw that it got removed, I was genuinely wondering if I dreamt it or not.

[@AmishParadise27]

I would love to see Sean's ranking of all the Worst Picture winners.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

#1 would have to be either Hillary's America or Absolute Proof, because none of the other movies are dangerous propaganda. The bottom for me is Mommie Dearest, which I think is actually good, but he'd probably say Star Trek V.

[@kingamoeboid3887]

Might be a good idea. Especially when some of them were the worst films ever made. I assumed that it would be Leonard Part 6, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Inchon, Ghosts Can't Do It or Jack And Jill.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

@@kingamoeboid3887 He didn't like Burn Hollywood Burn, but it didn't sound like he thought it was God-awful, let alone one of the worst movies ever made.

[@thecinematicmind]

Dirty Love definitely deserves to be in the top 5.

[@GOODYGOODGOOD789]

Morbius should have won every award in existence at every award ceremony in existence because... it's morbin time.

[@jmann6130]

You think!

[@angelcastaneda529]

Sean, again, thank you for doing this for our enjoyment.

[@slashermaster28]

I really gotta give you props for sticking through this to the end, but at the same time, I'm kinda glad this is it. I'll admit, while I have enjoyed this, I missed not knowing what you were going to review next.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

I've been here since the Dirty Love episode was released. It's been a long wait, but the end is finally upon us. My hope is that Sean does reviews on all the movies that should have won but didn't, from Yor to North to Karen and Music. That would be cool.

[@JustinCoasters]

I think Cat in the Hat was my first Smeghead review

[@coolnerdlll6053]

​@@JustinCoasters Mine was the original Hillary's America, but Dirty Love was the most recent episode at the time.

[@kingamoeboid3887]

Mine was the Three Ninjas review. It was in February-March 2020 when I got introduced to him.

[@tristanhartup4936]

I can't really recall what the first video I saw from Sean was (it might've been either Eragon, Cat In The Hat or Catwoman) but I've been watching this channel since 2013

[@Genevieve1023]

Mine was the special episode for Spock's Brain. But the newest episode was A Thousand Words at the time.

[@andyenglish4303]

The fact you bring out a coat hanger at the end of this review after commenting on the weird-ass anti-abortion messages in the film caused my mind to go places.

[@georgeray1906]

If he decides to review an anti-abortion film then all I can say is he's about to take a plunge into the rabbit hole that anti-abortion films.

[@Jarakin]

Congratulations on actually pulling it off, and looking forward to your picks now that you're choosing what you want again instead of the idiots behind the Razzies.

[@arnesahlen2704]

BTW Jackie Kennedy in fury pulled her support funds from a theater hosting 'After the Fall', Miller's veiled cheap-fest play about Marilyn. "...(abusing) that poor woman!" Jackie exclaimed.

[@lewiswebster2089]

Noticed you corrected that N17 mention 0:52. Guessing you remembered Showgirls. Finally enough, that was the first video of yours I ever saw and I've been with you since Sean. Keep the great reviews coming mate 👍

[@erichfiedler1481]

If I had a nickel everytime Sean reviewed an NC-17 film on his channel, I'd have two nickels...we really are getting so much mileage out of this meme

[@lewiswebster2089]

@@erichfiedler1481 And amen to it mate 😂

[@antibishonen]

Bolero would have been Sean's first NC-17 movie review if the rating system was modified.

[@nathanholton5335]

Marilyn stuttered… yes, she was a stutterer… which was why she spoke so softly in order to prevent it… it wasn’t the “dumb blonde” voice stereotype.

[@Dparish24]

My Week With Marilyn is the best biopic about Marilyn Munroe. Granted it’s not technically her story, but it’s told from the perspective of someone who saw her as a person not the icon. Also Michelle Williams is fantastic in the role.

[@jorgea8518]

Congrats man, now this is what I call dedication, you deserve so many more subscribers. Now that this done, I'm glad to see you are hinting us on what movie you'll review next, and I already now what it is and I can't wait.

Smeghead's Golden Rasperry Awards Worst Picture Project August 4, 2018-December 26, 2023 It has been such a long, wild and interesting ride that all started by Sean watching two horrible movies from 2017 that somehow sneaked by the Razzies: "The Snowman" and "The Book of Henry". Now it's time for him to begin 2024 by catching up on six years of bad movies.

[@scipioafricanus5871]

Why did Sean do time by him having to sit through 5 years of cinematic excrement? What did he do???

@@scipioafricanus5871 Is that really a question? Did you read my comment before deciding to reply to it?

[@scipioafricanus5871]

But why would he do that to himself? Why though?

@@scipioafricanus5871 So you did not read my comment before replying to it.

[@dvass7253]

Congratulations on finally finishing the Razzie retroshpective, Sean! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[@alexanderklepp]

I was able to watch the original upload and I was surprised to see it disappear but I'm glad it was only to fix a mistake. Believe me, I know how it feels to make a small mistake and then completely redo something. Anyway, this has been one interesting ride through the Worst Pictures.

[@heymistercarter.]

Considering he'll have to resurrect the Worst Picture Project with whatever wins Worst Picture for 2023, I wonder what the "lucky movie" will be...

[@erichfiedler1481]

I have a few ideas of what could get nominated, Nefarious, Sound of Freedom, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, and Lady Ballers

[@heymistercarter.]

@@erichfiedler1481 and Exorcist: Believer.

Why exactly would "Sound of Freedom" get nominated??@@erichfiedler1481

[@tristanhartup4936]

@@erichfiedler1481 Expendables 4 also

[@brycegoddard5547]

For me, it’ll be between the Winnie the Pooh movie, Sound of Freedom, Lady Ballers, Ghosted (which I personally think should win the Razzie for worst film), or Pain Hustlers.

[@ErinPrimette]

If you thought 2022's Blonde was exploitative, wait until you hear of Redeeming Love, which was adapted from a novel that was published before Twilight.

[@BrandonCroker]

What a raspberry ride it's been.

[@o.c.kiddkidd5163]

This series has been wonderful viewing for me. Thank you. Please consider a similar one where you do Worst Adaptations from TV or Book, Worst SCi-Fi Based on a Good Concept, etc. Or even more traditional reviews of films from other eras. Some of your personal favorites, guilty pleasures, worst experiences, and the like. It's really your entertaining delivery that makes may day.

[@illmsg77]

You deserve WAY more subscribers. This video is freakin hilarious!!!!!

[@shelbymckinney8888]

One slight correction I have is that Marilyn converted to Judaism later in life when she married Arthur Miller.

[@emmacurzon4672]

From now on, I think every audience regardless of medium should henceforth be addressed as "Gentlemen, ladies and non-binary daisies" Great video as always, and thanks Sean for humanising Monroe in a way this movie clearly never could.

[@craigdavidson5613]

The mistake made in the original release was Sean stating this film was the first NC-17 rated film he did, when he'd already done NC-17 rated films in this series prior. Showgirls, for example.

[@chronicallykat4920]

Thank you for proof the older Blonde exists! I have been trying to figure out what the heck that was since I was a kid. No context found.

[@robderiche]

Joyce Carol Oates has been publishing a novel per year since 1964 but I’ve never met anybody who’s read one.

[@Vecchio_Rhosod85]

I tried to read her novel "Zombie". I couldn't finish it.

[@kingamoeboid3887]

Might do so and rewatch this to see the difference also using this film as an influence to write something better.

[@roberttreacy8271]

Another awesome review, Sean. I can’t believe you’re done with your Worst Picture project. Also, judging by the coat hanger you showed at the end, your next review is gonna be Birdemic 3, isn’t it? EDIT: Called it!

[@eamonndeane587]

While it isn't perfect, 'My Week with Marilyn' is a much better film (with one of Michelle Williams' best performances in my eyes). I hope 'Blonde' just fades into obscurity and becomes forgotten like a lot of rubbish dumped on Netflix.

[@WobblesandBean]

Hope you had a great Christmas Sean! Your angry rant at the parents was nine kinds of cathartic. More proof of why you're the GOAT

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

What a boxing day gift! We end this five year razzie run on a crazy Netflix biopic of Marylin Monroe! I am impressed! Also, I fear the people that thought Morbius was a good movie...

[@MissBarker93]

Congrats on finally finishing this five year long project, Sean!

[@globetrekker86]

“What the quack am I gonna do with myself?” Continue the cycle, Sean! Hollywood will continue dishing out drek, and we need you to spew your gold all over it! Happy holidays, man 😄

[@WalkmanWillWalkAllOverYou]

Happy Late Holidays Sean and well done for finally finishing this Razzie Ride! 🎉🎉🎉

[@totallylooney8292]

I remember finding out about the novel when I read Voodoo Histories. I guess there's no surprise that a conspiratorial piece of dreck is the one that got the cinematic treatment. Your takes have kept me sane going into 2024, here's to many more!

[@chrismartindale7840]

I feel bad for Ana de Armas. She had to bare it all for this pile of trash. She was literally being exploited. She is world class talent and I hope she got paid a boatload for her dignity.

[@jamesatkinsonja]

Not sure what she was paid but she did get an Oscar Nomination out of it.

[@Betta66]

God, I hated this fucking movie. As beautiful and talented as Ana de Armas is, even she couldn't save this

[@MedicineMundy]

Whoa. Deja Vu. **Hugs and hands you another drink** it's only human.

[@BirdGang6]

Christ I felt like I was in the middle of a fever dream watching this film. The most bizarre movie I’ve ever seen.

[@pbh9195]

The Saga is now complete

[@barbiquearea]

That is until next year's Razzis come out.

[@AtrocityEquine01]

My frustration with this movie is the fact I was all for it at first. I loved Andrew's take of the Jesse James thought and thought he'd do just as good with Marilyn's story. All I saw was painting Marilyn in a terrible light and making her a barely workable victim than the struggling but still smart and witty woman that she was. I wasted two hours of pure trash.

[@das81]

Yeah, this movie makes Requiem for a Dream a happy movie...

[@jmann6130]

Which is not a complment!

[@mackenziegivens6061]

Alright, Take 2. 5 long years we've been on this Worst Picture journey. And now, it's finally come to an end. Also, how much you wanna bet he's gonna do Birdemic 3 in the next review?

[@linashawnee]

Hard to believe this series started five years ago. Wow.

[@kali3665]

"What if a Disney princess film was written by monkeys?" I thought that was Charming....

[@animefreak123ization]

The End Of The Golden Razz Arc!!

[@IronGhost8280]

I’m actually happy he’s done with this project. I like not knowing what to expect on his roster.

[@MichaelMichael-us6wq]

Congrats on finishing this series, Hope 2024 is the year we see some original stuff.

[@lordbarristertimsh8050]

18:32 - 18:37 Could honestly be called "Blonde in 5 Seconds" Also, Sean, congratulations on completing this long and difficult journey. I am sorry for all the bad movies and bloody pubic-hair pulling awful jokes courtesy of the Golden Raspberry Foundation, and I hope you had a Merry Christmas, and I would like to wish you a Happy New Year!

[@unholyperiodza5442]

Thus, the Thousand Year Razzie War is over, for now. We can now go back to reviewing terrible movies regularly as well as ones for Xmas and Halloween.

[@1monki]

I assume the police officer standing in the fire was also drunk.

[@RazorRex]

Watching this now before anything else happens.

[@RazorRex]

@@alexanderklepp I know. I meant to watch the original upload.

[@alexanderklepp]

@@RazorRex OK. I wasn't sure if you knew why it was reuploaded.

[@ashkitt7719]

Downloading it to my computer just in case.

[@eatatjoe]

Hell, *I have ADHD* and Blonde hurts to look at. *PICK A RATIO, MAN!*

[@samarmirza5525]

so do I

[@wilsonkierankitsune]

Really hope I can finish this before it's taken down again. Will you do the winner of next year's Razzies?

[@kylejacobs3684]

I like how you had the segment about warning parents; when I found your channel I was twelve 😂

[@andyenglish4303]

I was literally just thinking about this movie before I sat down at the computer. Weird timing.

[@multilad816]

7:13 No wonder why the movie called Joe DiMaggio, The Baseball Player because Netflix would likely get sued by his family

[@jackmonaghan8477]

As 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford' shows, Dominik does have actual talent as a filmmaker. He just squandered it here.

[@NJGuy1973]

In 2021, Ana de Armas played Marilyn Monroe. In 2023, Carey Mulligan played Leonard Bernstein's Latina wife. Should have been the other way around.

[@tylertheguy3160]

I don't think this movie is for or against abortion. It's just an insane clusterfuck.

[@JustinCoasters]

Surprised with the Aspect Ratio, you didn't make a Transformers 5 joke

[@kathleencunningham6236]

Thanks for all the videos. I love your sense of humor. I hope you do other projects.

[@MartianManHunter2258]

I couldn't help but laugh at the baby talking scene.

[@Stco23]

At least until you get to Winnie The Pooh Blood and Honey soon! It's the next Worst Picture winner until next year!

[@bradwolf07]

Cop: I see a drunk woman with a small child driving through a fire...I guess I will turn her around. Brilliant move

[@countjakku5544]

15:37, I disagree with the sentiment that her praying not making sense because she was an atheist. In my experience when I’ve said a prayer, my provider’s reactions to it made it seem less like a religious gesture and more like a last resort solution when things get tough. So in that regard, I think it’s reasonable to assert that anyone can pray, atheist or otherwise.

[@samarmirza5525]

she converted to a jew when she married miller

[@OffKiraDeux]

Seen this 3/4 times since this was released. So much fun, and funny, and the commitment to even watch the previous version of the movie. Almost makes me want to watch them just to check out what's up for myself. ... Almost. I wonder if a massacre your darlings cut down version of Blonde (this one) would work better. Or... be easier to get thru.

[@georgesalisbury5996]

When can we expect a review of United Passions or Strange Magic?

[@antibishonen]

Probably around 2026, as long he can keep Salt Bae at bay.

[@teheyepatch]

Congratulations on completion of the Razzie Project. Can't wait to see what you do next.

[@MeeplandHeights]

Holy shit! We did it! As someone who subbed super early on, it feels pretty satisfying to be here. I only watched but I'll pretend I was an important part :P

[@StellaAdler_]

The best movie I watched about Marilyn was based on the book The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe (the movie is named the same) Susan Sarandon plays her mother, Susan’s daughter plays the younger version of Marilyn’s mother. The actress that played her is better than 70% of today’s actresses. I mean Gal Gadot is considered an actress 😂😂 enough said. As a lifelong Marilyn Monroe admirer, the film was incredibly dark. It made me feel awful somehow, I felt like sht for hours after watching it. She was never in that throuple, i don’t know why they put that there. *** Marilyn did not commit suicide. She was murdered at the guest house she had further down her property, and her body was carried to her bed. I could go on but i’d be writing for 20mins about how she died. There are so many accurate documentaries that cover her death and the fact that bobby kennedy came over & fought with her in the late afternoon (Mrs. Murray confirmed that) he later came around with a few of his men around 23h and he did what he did. Her Red Diary is yet to be found. They took it no doubt because she was threatening JFK the day before that she’ll go to the press and tell them how he got his presidency - with the massive help from the Italian Mafia..

[@imaspoon4522]

Hoping for a great new year for you. Your reviews are gems.

[@sandraisyearning]

Well done and congrats on completing this insane task! (and thanks for not glossing over the insane baby stuff… wtf was that)

[@AceOfSevens]

Probably the worst thing about this is Marilyn does nothing except get abused. She comes across as someone with no inner life except for mourning her circumstances which not only isn't true, it isn't interesting.

[@stephennootens916]

Makes you wish if they had to adapt a fictional novel about her they went with the one were she is a Soviet spy. Not kidding it uses the same title.

[@rjbfjnbfftghbcx]

I can't tell if the talking fetus scene was supposed to be intentionally amusing or not. Either way, I'm going probably to hell for laughing my ass off at it

[@joshuamarks4425]

The sad thing about Dominik is that he *has* put out better stuff before Blonde. The Assassination of Jesse James was a terrific revisionist Western featuring stellar performances and beautiful Roger Deakins visuals. Killing Them Softly was also an excellent revisionist gangster film and such a brutal, cynical capitalist critique, complete with Grieg Frasier's wonderful visuals in one of the earliest films that he shot. I really don't know what happened to him in the decade between films.

[@thecinematicmind]

Thank goodness Dominik directed his second Nick Cave documentary.

[@arnesahlen2704]

11:54 ... and MM *did not have a crazy-Latina accent! Just listen to the train wreck at this point! Also, she was prone not to yelling but to holing up in dressing rooms for hours.

[@stephennootens916]

When she was on she one of the greats but she from the reports I read was not sure of herself.

[@maximusprime3459]

Its still on my watchlist...looks like I HAVE to watch it now..

[@jeremyusreevu237]

My mom actually wanted to see this movie, but after hearing about all the dark stuff, she opted out of it. Yeah, I think she made the right decision.

[@Foustdoodles98]

Alrighty!! A second dose!!🥰 I’m excited for what’s next after this one!

[@nicksoapdish157]

When Sean was talking about the winners and losers of the 2023 Golden Raspberries; he should have mentioned that Adria Arjona didn't deserve the Golden Raspberry for Worst Supporting Actress.

[@andysee6996]

Your original upload was taken off to fix a minor mistake. I thought KZbin took it down for being too explicit.

[@Zomdra]

Not that I speak for all other trans people, but I'm trans and I didn't mind the trans stuff in that Doctor Who episode.

[@TommyPezMaster]

Any reason why Paws of Fury wasn't nominated for the Razzie considering that it had a trouble production and cheap production values comparable to Foodfight?

[@Yeen125]

The competition was way too stiff that year. Paws of Fury was “meh” compared to the actual nominees.

[@davidnavarro5398]

Weird not to say that De Arma's performance was a Oscar-nominated one, since sometimes reference that stuff. Having rewatched all the mixes of styles that Dominic used in this movie make me appreciate the work and craftmanship done by Bradley Cooper in Netflix's (also) Maestro.

[@SCWRMComms]

The long pauses in black and white reminded me of Under the Cherry Moon. Combined with the callbacks to Mommy Dearest, this kinda fits as a wrap-up of the Razzies so far. -Teo